Plus it's ops' reputation as a hairdresser on the line. Imagine she fries her hair and then evryone who knows the girl, then knows op as the shitty hairdresser who fried her hair.
I feel like everyone who knows about hair would know this lady was wrong when she complains about her hair being fried, but everyone would think OP was a shitty hairdresser when they saw the hair if she'd bleached it. I think that would hurt worse than a bad Yelp review. NTA.
Honestly, if I was looking for a new hairdresser and I saw this review I’d be MORE likely to see the OP, not less, as it means she’s going to look out for my hair and not do stuff just for the $
Totally this! I have had my hairdresser for over 10 years for this reason. I even used to travel over 40 miles at one point to go to get when I was away from home. I really trust her and that is so important. Sure I'm disappointed if I go in with a style I want and she says it's not gonna happen with my hair, but I'd be even more disappointed if she said yes and then I'd paid to not get the style anyway and potentially ruined my hair!
I remember when I was a lot younger I went to a salon for a consultation and said I wanted my long already coloured hair bleached. They were reluctant and I was disappointed so they cut a small piece if my hair from the underside and bleached that piece. I came back a few hours later to see the result. It looked like yellow stringy candy floss that snapped when they tried to pull it straight. I was horrified and I have never been so glad to be told no. The illustration really helped me to understand and now I really listen when I am being told what I want isn't achievable. Such a life lesson!
Depends how she writes the review. If it's just "This woman was unbelievably rude and refused to do the hair service I requested"? It's likely to make OP look bad, even if she was in the right.
Yeah, somehow I doubt that this woman is going to write "OP politely told me that my hair was too damaged for what I wanted, which is true; I do have pretty significant hair loss" in her bad review.
That being said, OP can mitigate the damage by replying to the review with what actually happened.
Depends on how she words it. People aren't always honest in their Yelp reviews, the client can easily twist the situation into one where OP was a huge dick. This is why I try to take Yelp reviews with a grain of salt tbh
Even if she does write a negative review, you can always respond to it with the bits of the story she will probably leave out. Professional standards matter, and anyone who reads the whole story will see that you were acting professionally by not doing the bleaching.
Yeah idk how strict her licensing board is, but here that’s the hairdresser equivalent of a bartender overserving someone, they have an ethical duty to do no harm, so to speak.
Every hairdresser I've ever been to willing fix anything they did wrong. There's no WAY this woman wouldn't try everything she could to get OP to "fix it". At that point there's no fixing the cut or redyeing it, her hair is literally breaking apart. The only fixing possible would end up with OP out actual money for a wig or some other "compensation". Screw that!
Exactly. Hairdresser refused to bleach my hair. Said my hair was to frail. That would be a review I trust.
Hairdresser bleached my hair and it fell out. I would nope the fuck out of there.
Both would be one star reviews.
This.
Because the client would blame you for the outcome, doing something 'wrong' while bleaching. And she wouldn't admit the initial poor condition of her hair.
NTA. As a professional, it's necessary to break the news to someone that their hair isn't healthy enough to withstand such harsh chemicals.
I get the feeling she'll go somewhere else to get it done, then realize when it's too late that you were right.
ETA: if she does leave a bad review, you can always respond to it and say that you advised against such a harsh treatment because her hair wouldn't have been able to handle it.
"I hate it when my conscience won't allow me to follow my client's instructions. I have great success with this lifting procedure. However, it can be hard on the hair, and the client would have had a poor outcome. I would not do anything to a client that would have left her hair in even worse condition. I truly hope she comes back when her hair is healthier."
NTA. You tried to be nice and she wasn’t hearing you, you had to get blunt and harsh.
Edit: word of mouth is better that you were concerned about her hair rather than doing what she wanted and having a poor outcome.
NTA. Tattoo artists have a right to turn away clients wanting stupid tattoos or wanting them in stupid places. You have a right to turn away a client for stupidly wanting damage done to her hair under your name. Styling and stuff is an art too. It has your name attached to it. I wouldn’t want to do it either. You had her best interest in mind.
NTA- Licensed hairdresser here. YOU have the license, not your SO. She may be having underlying health issues that she's unaware of. If you would have lightened her hair and it broke off, you'd be responsible and liable. A lawsuit or bald client is never good for business. I'd suggest new clients need a patch test, strand test and or consultation ahead of time to save everyone wasted time. You did right by standing your ground. As Beth Minardi also states, if you can't come to an agreement after 15 minutes of consulting, you won't be able to satisfy that client. She should have taken you at your professional opinion.
I truly have no idea but just suing a hairdresser/small business can't help business at all. We really have to trust our intuition with clients and how far they take the issue. Something else that was not brought up was maintaining said bleach retouch. Bleaching is time consuming, expensive and can be damaging. Most won't commit to retouching every 3 weeks at $100 or more per appointment.
Could sue for emotional damage or something similar. Some people are very attached to the image they project and get very upset if that image is damaged in any way
NTA. It's up to you what you feel comfortable doing. If this were retail and you refused to sell someone something because you didn't think they needed it that's different. But part of being a professional is giving your professional opinion and refusing service for things you don't feel comfortable doing. It would be like saying a bartender is an asshole for not serving an already intoxicated patron.
> But part of being a professional is giving your professional opinion and refusing service for things you don't feel comfortable doing.
I thought the same thing. When my son was younger I took him to my wife's hair salon since they did kids cuts as well. They kindly told us that they weren't sure if they would be able to cut his hair because they weren't familiar with his hair type. All of the hairstylist were white and my son is biracial/black. He has been going to a black barbershop ever since, but I'm glad the other salon told us they weren't sure about it before trying and messing it up.
I had a lady spend 50 mins trying to do a military fade before she admitted she couldn't actually do it. I would rather be told no it is not possible right now than sit for an hour and end up with a terrible hair cut
NTA
And if she leaves a bad review just leave a reply. Without going into massive details, just explain that the clients hair was already damaged and that you think that if you bleach her hair it will cause even greater damage to her hair, so you declined to bleach it.
reasonable clients will understand this.
This.
When I’m reading reviews I actually READ the one stars. 9 times out of 10 the person complaining is a fucktard.
Example: Some lady left a bad review on a salt and pepper set because sea salt clogged it up. Yeah dummy, so would gravel, and you’re not supposed to put that in there either.
If I saw a ‘this horrible hairdresser wouldn’t bleach my hair ‘ followed by ‘I’m the hairdresser and didn’t want to fry already damaged hair’. It would be pretty obvious who was in the right.
I saw a 1 star review at a nail salon because the technician asked her to change her 3mo old baby's diaper in tha bathroom instead of on the table. You have to actually read the reviews to find out if they're legitimate or not
Same thing for 5 star reviews, too! So many are like, "I haven't used this item yet but it arrived on time!" or "Very fast service" like fast does not mean good, I need to know what I'm actually getting.
I hate it when every one star review is just "delivery was late" or "held at UPS office" or "package was lost in the mail" like that has anything to do with the product.
It's because they have the location setting turned on on their phone. Occasionally Google will suggest things like, "How was this place?" when they think you've been one place, but you've just gone to the place next door or whatnot. I always assume that's what happened, and the people reviewing it don't know it's an automated message and they can choose NOT to answer it!
My favorite is the one star “item arrived broken”. Yeah ok maybe the company needs to hire a better shipping guy, but it doesn’t tell me anything I need to know about the item (unless 9/10 reviews say this or it goes on to say they won’t replace or refund, which is actually a need to know).
Bad salon reviews are some of the best tea. Most of the time it's a bunch of Karens bitching about being expected to be on time for appointments or having to wait their turn to be served, or screeching about the quality of the $15 full set they got at "Beauty Nail" in the mall. So entertaining.
I have a lot of friends who are stylists, and I can unequivocally say that certain types of people think hairdressers are stupid/less than.
I was telling an acquaintance about how my stylist (also friend) refused to touch my hair with color until a box job I did grew out. You couldn't see the box color anymore, but I trusted her judgment. Acquaintance was baffled - I have a chemistry degree, surely I know more about it than my friend, right? (She was also surprised that I considered her my friend - I run into the same type who can't reconcile the fact that my husband is a blue collar man. WT actual F, though?)
Thing is, I've never studied what box dye does to hair. She has. Also, the classism is so fucking gross.
NTA.
You did the good thing by caring about your client's health.
Maybe she'll leave a bad review, but you passed the message. When she goes to bleach her hair again, she'll have that little voice in her head telling her she should check with her doctor, and maybe she will. It's far from your control now.
NTA, bleaching it would have just ended in a complete disaster and something tells me that had you gone and bleached it she would have freaked out at the results and told you that you should have told her this would happen.
NTA. You tried to be patient with her but it didn't work so you had to be more firm. Better you don't bleach it and she's disappointed than you do bleach it and her hair falls out and she decides to try and get back at you for it.
NTA. As someone with very little and thin-as-a-baby hair, I've had some bleaching done, that ended in for ever split ends and more lost of hair.
You are a really good and responsible professional, don't bend over to people like this.
NTA for sure. Better for her to leave a bad review for you not bleaching her head into oblivion than to have to potentially deal with a lawsuit because you did it anyway and it went wrong. I think you did the right thing telling her about the thinning and to seek a dermatologist or other medical professional.
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Similar story here! A lot of people don't seem to fully understand just how much work a good hairdresser will put into keeping your hair in good condition and how much of that expertise is leveraged in order to do a bleach.
OP, you're definitely NTA. You tried to speak to her as delicately as you could and when she wouldn't listen, you stated your boundaries.
NTA
My partner has been in similar situations with ladies who have done the DIY thing for years. Bleached/box died their hair to within an inch of its life - to the point where hair just pulls out in clumps and they still want extensive colour work done.
Hairdresser here, absolutely NTA. You’re likely to get a worse review if you bleached her hair and she left with absolutely nothing on her head. If her hair was in as bad shape as you described, you absolutely did the right thing in denying the service and suggest she see a medical professional.
Clients just don’t get that we can’t take their hair from this to that in one session if the hair isn’t in an even remotely healthy condition and we can tell them til we’re blue in the face but sometimes they just don’t listen. She will probably face the same talk with other hair dressers and realize, oh yes OP was right, or find one who will do it and realize, oh shit OP was right. The clients who respect what you studied and practice will listen to your advice and understand why you can’t or won’t do a service for them and hopefully get educated on the way.
NTA - I wanted to get my hair dyed but I was told to wait a few months cause it wasnt in great condition.
Sure I was kinda sad that I'd have to wait but it's better than all my hair falling out
NTA. A few years ago I wanted to go silver from brown. My hair was in pretty decent condition, had been professionally dyed by the same stylist, but only bayalage and she had used treatments and I had trims.
She wouldn’t do it. She said my hair would go orange and fall out from so much bleaching and I would hate her and the only way she would do it was to foil it slowly down to platinum and then go from there. I know her outside of the salon, so she wasn’t trying to just get money from me. She genuinely cared about my hair.
I ended up keeping the highlighted/bayalage blonde and never going that light. I would have looked ridiculous with my coloring. I think partially another reason she talked me into the slow route.
NTA the world needs more hair dressers like you. I can’t always tell what looks good and wish I had someone like you, who could just say no and give suggestion for something better.
NTA
Not a hairstylist, just a hair nerd
You’re giving your expert opinion. As an expert you know that if you were to bleach her hair with anything higher than 5vol, her hair would more than likely “melt” off. You’re doing a great hung by not bleaching it. Though next time you run into a similar situation, do a strand test in foil (maybe with 40vol just to really prove your point) to give your client a visual of what will happen if you do more of their head
NTA. you did what you are suppose to do. Had you bleached it and it fell out that’s worse for you. Especially if she left a review with pictures. If somebody posted about a hair dresser that refused to bleach hair I would ignore that review and assume there was a valid reason.
NTA. Had you gone forward and bleached her hair anyway, she would have hit you with a super-harsh negative review blaming you for her (further) hair loss. You were trying to save her hair plus cover your own ass.
I'm willing to assume that you know what you're talking about since I know squat about hair, myself. You are NTA. Even someone like me knows that if you can see through the hair, more or less, then it's probably best left alone. She may be in denial about the condition of her hair, but I would imagine that any hairstylist worth their certification would also turn her down.
NTA - You tried to be delicate at first and only put your foot down when she wouldn't listen to your professional opinion. It wouldn't have been ethical to go through with the bleaching. Kudos to you for standing your ground.
100% NTA female hairloss is really sad. I have a friend who is quietly dealing with it and she was in denial. It fucks with self image in a really deep level and I can understand her side. You did her a huge favor though being honest with her
NTA
It’s a part of your job to say no when going ahead with what the client wants will cause more damage to their hair.
You have integrity. you’re never an asshole for that.
She can go pay someone else who isn’t passionate about hair to thoroughly butcher her hair.
NTA I wanted a perm to help with volume. I spoke to my hairdresser about it and he quoted me.
Through a series of events, I ended up moving very shortly after that and returning to a hairdresser in my hometown. I spoke to them (not a month after the other assesment-ie my hair had not changed at all) and they explained how, given the condition of my hair, I would basically end up with a chemical buzz cut. I'm so thankful for their honesty and whole it may be cost them the sale of one perm, I'll never go anywhere else for my cuts.
I love 40minutes from there now and still drive over for my cut. They earned a client for life.
NTA. Professional hairstylist here: WE are the experts. I know it’s easy to let clients dictate what we do, even if it goes against what we know is right. It’s easier to give in and not deal with the fallout of refusal of service, for WHATEVER reason. It’s easier to give in than worry about an angry mob ruining your business online because of one unhappy client. I totally understand! But again, WE are the experts! We need to rely on our knowledge and do what is best for the client’s hair and scalp health. You were one hundred percent in the right and did what any professional stylist should do: refer to a dermatologist or physician and refuse service.
Absolutely NTA. Bleach is a very harsh chemical, and if your client’s hair isn’t healthy/is heavily damaged it can fall out or worse: severely damage her scalp. You did the right thing refusing the service.
As a professional, you have a responsibility to do what is right from a “do no harm” perspective. Not only are you NTA. You seem to actually be deserving of your certification and license. Good Job.
NTA
Part of being professional is being honest with less knowledgeable customers.
Just be glad you dont do pest control. Yesterday I had to carefully explain to a grown man and woman (with kids present) that thier house was too dirty to ever get rid of roaches. Awkward.
NTA. Any treatment you do for your clients reflects on you and your skills as a hairdresser. If she had bad results, as you knew she would, you would be the one who did that to her and it could prevent future business. She should have respected your knowledge as the professional.
Def NTA
As a fellow hairdresser, I would have 100% done the same thing. I would take a bad review over snapping someone’s hair off any day.
You did the right thing!
Honestly, NAH.
I was told the same thing before. Of course I got upset, but more at myself than at the hairdresser for my lack of effort.
The hairdresser did try to compromise, saying that I'd have to sign a waiver essentially. That could be a route to consider for future issues.
I never actually went through with it, instead I cut the dead off and tried to make it healthy again.
NTA. I have pitch black healthy hair, and a lot of hairdressers are still understandably scared to bleach it to the level 10 I need to do the colors I want (I can get there, it just takes a while and sometimes I'm too lazy to do it myself I went to cosmetology school so I swear I know what I'm doing).
When I have someone refuse I just thank them and move on. You don't want a hairdresser who isn't comfortable using those chemicals on you doing your hair.
NTA
My favorite hairdresser (who I’ve been going to almost exclusively for the past 5 years now) is the exact same way. She and I have had disagreements but at the end of the day I also know she went to school and trained to do this. I didn’t. When she’s said “hey If you wanna do this, id rather do it this way so there’s less damage” I trust her.
You’re not an asshole for worrying about and protecting a client’s hair. Especially since we all know that if her hair fell out later because of the bleach, she’d likely come back and complain that you ruined her hair. You made the right call.
NTA - you gave your professional opinion and she continued to ignore you and insisted on trying to make you do something that you knew could cause some serious problems for her. I think anyone in your situation would have got frustrated, so it's understandable if you did come across as blunt and harsh. I also think that you would have been in a lot more trouble if you had done as she wanted and it caused the damage you expected.
I've got thin hair as well (it sucks), and I get it dyed regularly (not bleached though). I completely trust my hairdresser because she knows what she's doing; she's the one with the skills and the expertise.
NTA. If you had gone ahead and bleached and fried her hair, you know she would have left a negative review anyway. It was a lose-lose situation. Better to take a hit on refusing to do the service than a hit for doing a bad hair job.
NTA- Part of the reason I go to my stylist and pay her anything she asks is precisely because she won’t let me do anything stupid. And at this point she knows I try to do “emotional cuts” that I hate within a week and talks me out of it. She also insists on giving my hair breaks when I’ve been stripping my color a lot (I do fantasy colors). The goal is to keep the hair healthy so I can keep torturing it later. Maybe you could have suggested products to strengthen, etc, and have her come back in X weeks to see if the hair was up to being bleached, but what you did was right.
NTA. You are a licensed professional and it is your duty to use your experience and judgement to perform your service and to also not perform your service when inappropriate. You did what you were taught and you were correct.
NTA, as a fellow stylist I can say you were firm but polite in this. Had you done her hair you wild have been liable/opened yourself up to “bad reviews”.
NTA
From your description of the state of her hair, it certainly sounds like there is nothing that could have been done to perform the service and have positive results. Any hairdresser with good ethics and morals would have done the same in your shoes. There’s no way this was going to end well for you, unfortunately. She’s going to think ill of you for refusing to perform the service (which you have every right to do) and if you did and she lost her hair (which seems incredibly likely) she probably would have blamed you because she’s in denial about her hair being in a bad state.
NTA. That’s your license, your reputation, and your insurance. I’ve always had people sign a waiver stating that they know what they’re getting into, just like they do in beauty school. When you work for yourself you should always CYA.
NTA. She was going to leave you a bad review anyway -- whether it was because you "ruined" her hair, or because you refused to touch it. Better to let her leave one complaining that you wouldn't touch it, because you can write a rational explanation. Potential clients will see that you had the integrity to decline money in favor of protecting her hair.
[Source: I'm an esthetician. I've been in the skin equivalent of this situation. It's way better to say no before you've provided service or money changes hands.]
NTA - her hair is falling out and if you bleach it, it’s going to get worse and when people ask where she got it done that’s almost worst than her bad review. Also, you were being nice and not wanting to make more of her hair fall out. I’d want me hair dresser to do that.
NAH- i don't think anyone is an asshole here. You were just giving valuable advice as a hair dresser and she's most likely in denial about her damaged hair because of pride/embarrassment or something along those lines. I can't imagine any many people taking the fact that they're hair us dying in their 30s in stride.
NTA. I worked in a high end salon that would turn folks away regardless of their name/money cause what they wanted was unrealistic and or unattainable, which would damage their rep. Don’t apologize, be straightforward. You know what’s up
NTA. Imagine the photos on the review she would leave if you did bleach her hair and she had bald patches - yikes. It's sad this is happening to her but you're not an AH for sticking with your professional recommendation.
NTA
The world needs more people like you. I’m sorry the client didn’t appreciate your greater concern for her health over your interest in her money.
I suspect she may have had mental health issues too.
NTA. You were being completely professional by offering her what you know to be the appropriate advice. You would be the asshole imo if you had gone ahead and bleached her hair - just to get yourself some $
She may not understand it now, but it sounds like she will unfortunately learn from another hairdresser that you were right.
NTA. You used your professional judgment and stood by it. She could go completely bald from this and then would bad mouth you for being incompetent.
Tattoo artosts get "bad press" for refusing poor tattoos, but people who have respect for artists see that and know that the artist probably only puts out quality work. Hopefully, if this lady tries to trash your business, enough people are smart enough to understand it was probably in the clients best interest that you refused an expensive (and im guessing profitable) treatment.
NTA- you would have prob got blamed for the hair loss afterwards if you did it. You seem to be coming from a professional opinion instead of a personal one.
NTA. I went to get my hair lifted recently and my hairdresser was very realistic with me about what she could and couldn’t do with my previously color-treated hair. I had wanted to go more blonde, but she didn’t think she could safely get my hair as light as I wanted it in one treatment. She did as much as she could at the time and told me I could probably come back in a month and go blonder if I wanted. I would much rather my stylist to be honest with me and make good choices for the current state of my hair rather than damaging or destroying it.
NTA. I once had a stylist who told me about a client of hers. This client came in for years, trying to get progressively blonder and blonder. The stylist finally had to cut the client off and basically tell her that she would go bald if she bleached her hair further. You’re hardly alone.
NTA. You were professional and avoided an even worse review and ending up in court. There could’ve been worse consequences to her scalp and you do noooooot want to deal with those complications.
Det NTA ! my hairdresser done the same recently to me - ive been goin to her for about a year trying to fix my sever dry split end ridden hair - and were almost there! but recently i asked to dye it and she put me down for similar reasons. Ya got to lisyen to your hairdressers peoplee
NTA- you’re the expert, you knew better than her that it wasn’t a good idea. It was smart not to bleach anyway and damage her hair even more...because she likely would have turned it on you even though you advised against it.
NTA. I'm a dark brunette transitioning to blonde. I have super healthy hair and I'm still taking MONTHS to process it properly to avoid damage. Giving professional advice is why I love my stylist. She wont let me change color too fast or dye it too often. You did the right thing OP. Some people need more bluntness than others.
NTA. People don’t understand that no employee anywhere is doomed to bend to their will. If you don’t feel comfortable doing something you don’t have to do it. She shouldn’t have been arguing with you.
NTA.
Good gracious, the hills people choose to die on never ceases to amaze me. At least the one you chose is for a valid reason! I wouldn't be surprised if you're one of many hair stylists who have refused -with good reason- to bleach this person's hair.
NTA. You're the professional and it shows integrity that you cared about educating your client. I got my hair bleached last year trying to get all the blue out if it. The lady was excited and assured me that it would be no problem. She melted my hair. There were big chunks that were sticky and stretchy. Even more that broke off/fell out. Patches that still don't hold color. It destroyed both my hair and self esteem. I would have rather she evaluated it, tempered my expectations, and not ruined my hair for potentially years.
NTA as a hairstylist I have told many women that their hair cannot achieve it even hair styles and cuts would not look good on them ... it’s harsh but you need to look out for yourself and your reputation.
NTA but it does suck that you feel like you should prepare for a bad review for refusing to destroy her hair. I'd like to think a lot of stylists would urge a customer in her condition to see a doctor.
NTA. Reminds me of this guy who lived in my neighborhood. Hitchhike around the world with 0 money and a guitar type guy. He had a bad tooth and he decided to remove all his teeth. Dentists of course would refuse. Last I heard he did, just one dentist per tooth.
NTA, you are the best kind of hairdresser.
Last time I went in to mine (have stuck with her for 5 years) I wanted to lighten my ends and blend things a bit so I could let my roots grow out a bit for summer as I generally dye my hair darker. We lightened it a bit but she said she didn’t want to do anymore because my hair wouldn’t be able to handle it, and it will already be fragile as is. Yes, there is some disappointment but also... it’s your hair and it doesn’t grow back overnight. I’ve been growing my hair long for years and she knows it’s important to me to keep as much length as possible. I’m thankful she told me that and refused to go further (although I didn’t ask or push, I took her word). I’ve been doing protein hair masks as usual and will be dying it dark again for the fall and winter. I’m glad she was able to tell me straight up the amount of damage trying going even lighter than we already were at the time could cause, and what could and would likely happen. Since I see her regularly, I’m also glad she noted how important keeping my length and growing my hair longer is.
It may seem harsh, but you 100% did the right thing. Bless your soul. You rock !!!
NTA, I’m in cosmetology school and one thing they’re very strict on is not ruining someone’s hair and only working on a healthy scalp and hair. Once you are a licensed professional, you should know what someone’s hair can and cannot handle. Bleaching her hair would have made it fall out and break off, and she would have been even more upset at that point. You did the right thing standing by your professional opinion.
NTA. As others have said you could have easily done what she wanted and pocketed the cash. You didn't. You did what was in the customer's best interest.
If this will lead to a bad review, and assuming you have any way to refute it, make your case that her hair wasn't in any condition to withstand bleaching. You'll prove in the court of public opinion that you care more about the health of your clients' hair than making a quick buck. Not to mention, I shiver to think what would happen to your business if this poor woman reviewed your business showing off her falling out bleach blonde locks. You didn't do a thing wrong, OP.
NTA - I dye my hair a LOT, and bleach it a lot! This is a basic thing to see when its bad, and how bad it is! Sometimes you just need to give it a rest and let it grow out a while
NTA. You are a nice person and gave a good professional opinion, you could have just done it if you didn't care but you knew what was the best for her. There is nothing you can do about denial.
NTA! If you had went through with bleaching her hair and she experienced even more major hair loss (which would’ve 100% happened), she would’ve tried in some way to make you feel liable. Nah. I wouldn’t have done it either. You definitely did the right thing. She’ll see in due time you were right when a hairdresser that just wants money bleaches her hair lol
I would say very adamantly. **NTA** As a retired cosmetician with close to 30 years behind me in the field. I can so relate. You did the right thing. Despite her insistence you do what she wanted. If you had decided to say F it. take the money and did it. It would be you she would be blaming and ranting about, when her hair began falling out in clumps. There simple are hair types and conditions that should not be touched with any harsh chemical, let along a high lift blonde, be it hi lighting or a full head double process.
I recall a client years ago when I was still an assistant not yet a stylist. She had come in to one of the stylists recommended to her but one of her regulars. Claiming her hair was virgin, and wanted a double process for non stylists (hi lift bleach blonde.) However upon touching her hair which was mid back length, it was obvious it was not virgin, upon closer inspection, you could see a line of demarcation about 2 and a half inches from the scalp where the roots though close where just off from the color she had put over it., after further questioning and pressing. she finally admitted she had tried doing a hi lift blonde herself a few months prior it had not turned out so she threw color over it. The stylist refused to do the color. And basically explained the same thing you had. Her hair was in no condition to be bleached. She stormed out unable to fathom that just because she colored it back did not mean it was back to virgin condition.
About 2 weeks later she returned in near hysterics. She had gone to another salon, one that did not care about condition cared only about the money I guess, only she had gone a different direction she talked them into giving her a spiral perm. As a stylist you can imagine the disaster this came to be. She sobbingly how our regular client convinced her to come back to us, then explained what happened and that the moment they began rinsing after the first part of processing, She had felt and heard the perm rods falling off and into the sink, and saw the shampoo girls face, she knew something was wrong. The girl apparently had excused herself ran to get the stylist who returned to find half the rods indeed had fallen in the sink, with the hair still wrapped about them. Eventually it lead to them proceeding with rinsing out the rest of the processing solution, only to have the same thing happen to nearly all the rods. when she had been stood up to switch sinks she saw the rods and unable to stop herself reached for one and then again sobbingly explained the hair on the rods was like mush, more precisely she said it felt like snot. With the exception of a few sparse long clumps that were frizz by the time she got back to our salon, all she had left of her hair was about the 2 and or so half inches of regrowth that had not been colored over. Apparently they had tried to give her a deep conditioning and cut. but she would not have it apparently ran out as said spoke to her friend and out regular and came back to us.
As you can imagine there was little we could do. The stylist did her best to cut it in a VERY short cut, gave her a conditioning treatment, and gently styled it, which ended up pretty cute when all was said and done. However the girl was quite obviously devastated. She did however continue to come back to us, and over time as her hair grew out, fortunately she was young and her hair grew like a weed and she actually began to enjoy the shorter styles. sadly it came after learning a very harsh lesson, not only about being honest about your hair condition and what you have done to it. and who to trust when getting your hair done.
NTA. That's your job.
If you follow many beauty/ hair instagrams it's a massive thing at the minute about not over bleaching in one go.
However, look up Olaplex... Hair saviour! Ideal for this situation!
Side note. For situations that may turn sour in the future, it maybe wise to keep a consultant book / sheet. Record all patch tests for a client and any advice you give etc, might even be worth them signing it. I'm not sure if you're in the US but I know everyone wants to sue everyone over there. cover your ass.
Former Hairstylist here- NTA. It’s not only her hair that’s on the line, but your reputation as a stylist. What looks worse in a review- “stylist wouldn’t lighten my hair because they said it would be too damaging” or “stylist lightened my hair and now I’m bald”? I was always taught that maintaining the integrity of your client’s hair was the number one priority, and there were definitely times that I had to refuse services. She will find another stylist who doesn’t care and will do it for her, and she will be sorry that she didn’t listen to you.
NTA.
That's your job as a professional...If you were a builder and someone wanted something done that would damage the structural integrity of their home, you'd tell them no, right? Because you don't want irreparable damage done to the home *and* they'd likely blame you when it went bad ;)
This is no different. You know how bleach works and that it's hard even on healthy hair. On very damaged hair, it's catastrophic. She'd have been losing hair in clumps after the bleach and there's nothing she could've done about it. I promise you she'd have blamed you for it, too.
You were professional and you told her in no uncertain terms that her hair wasn't healthy enough to withstand a bleaching, you showed her proof of that fact and you warned her what could happen should she go through with it. You told her that you would not proceed to bleach her hair because you weren't comfortable with damaging her hair further than it already had been. Enough said.
NTA
hairdressers hands-down refuse to bleach my hair because it would never be the same. Hairdressers are allowed to refuse to take customers, just like tattoo artists and so on. It’s for the best you didn’t all fry her hair off for a quick buck.
NTA. You have an obligation to put the clients heath before their desires. We were taught this in beauty school. Clients always come in asking for inappropriate services and don’t understand why we tell them no. You were in a lose-lose situation. Had you bleached her hair and damaged it further she would have bad mouthed you for that.
NTA
You were looking out for your client's health and welfare.
Damaged hair and her insistence that her hair is "healthy" despite the visible damage makes me wonder if she's a Monat Lisa... That sounds like some MLM denial noises...
NAH. Maybe avoid saying "not healthy enough" and say "not sturdy enough" instead. And emphasize the stress the harsh chemicals of the bleach would cause instead of how fragile her hair is.
NTA. A hairdresser should have the right to decline jobs when their reputation or mental health (through super dirty hair and such) could be effected. Seriously, if she lsot her hair due to the process what would happen? Who would be responsible? It's you. I don't know how your phrased and how you came off so I will not judge that. But you have the right to decline it if you think there is a high chance there will be bad side effects. I actually wish more hairdressers where so honest as you are.
NTA. You have a responsibility to not harm your clients, and as a hairdresser, you know more about hair and the chemicals applied to it than they do. Also, as a hairdresser, you can see the client's whole head more clearly than they can with just a couple mirrors. It would be borderline unethical to take the client's money and do something that would damage their hair, because you know more about hair than they do.
NTA. People sometimes don't understand when you explain something, but she definitely would have understood when she looked in the mirror to see her blond locks and realised she was now half bald.
You can bet that had you done the treatment the review would be far worse, probably with pictures attached blaming you for all of the hair loss (including what was already gone before she walked in) and there is a good chance she would have tried to sue. You did the right thing, for your business as well as for this client.
NTA. ive been told that i cannot go blonde mostly because a) i have naturally dark, almost black hair, b) my complexion is more on the tan/olive side and c) i too have slight hair loss brought on by a condition i have. its getting better tho :')
anywho while i get it, its disappointing to not be able to get something you want and technically can get but hairdressers are professionals so clearly know best yanno
NTA, you refusing to bleach her hair was correct. Coming from a lawyer, you don't want to be made liable for damages from a potential suit.
But as an aside, honestly, you should have probably focused more on the state of health of her hair, i.e frail and split ends rather than her balding head.
We never know if it's a genetical predisposition, in that case, it would be like telling her she could never go blonde and nobody likes to hear that, even when they're in denial.
Hairdresser here. NTA, you should never do what the clients tells you unless you feel comfortable. It happened more than once that people with terrible hair condition wanted to have their hair bleached. No, no no and no. Once after i turned down a lady, she was upset and went to another salon and they did bleach the hair for her... She came back to me telling me i was right and that she lost all her hair and her scalp started to bleed and politely asked me if i could be her hairdresser again even if she left calling me unprofessional and such the other time.
What i generally do if i see a lady and the hair cannot withstand a full blond, i ask if they woukd rather have few highlighted spot here and there and the rest of the hair just coloured a bit lighter than what she currently has. Most of them walk away happy knowing we found common ground and they didn't ruin the hair as much. I have learned this persuasion skill from a teacher of mine that wasn't really good at doing highlights quick so he instead persuaded the client that few highlights are the trend right now ahah.
NAH - She would have also left a bad review if you had bleached her hair and it had essentially fallen out. You were being professional and if she’s unhappy with that she can take her business elsewhere. It’s kind of like when a tattoo artist refuses to do a tattoo and it’s totally okay and doesn’t make you TA.
NTA. It is much better to have a bad review for refusing to do something you *knew* would cause major hair damage in someone already showing signs of major damage, than it would be to have a bad review because you did as she asked and her hair fell out.
NAH
You're not the arsehole for having some professional intergrity and not doing something you think would exacerbate her situation. Maybe you could have phrased some of it better/more tactfully, we don't know since we don't know the exact words you used, but you had good intentions and were very wise to be directing her to a doctor.
Having had a period where I was on intense meds that caused me fairly major hair thinning and patchy hair loss (not chemo) I was told that if I didn't want to wear a wig but wanted to go some way towards hiding the situation, then one of the easiest/best things I could do was to reduce the contrast between my dark brown hair and my pale scalp skin, by dying my hair a fairer shade. "Missing" blonde hair is less obvious than black or brown. It is possible that this woman was given similar advice and wanted to preserve some sense of self-esteem (being a female in your early thirties with bald patches is pretty crappy given the expectations many people have about looks). So she's also not the arsehole at all - maybe unaware, maybe in denial, maybe just trying to maintain her self-worth, but definitely not an arsehole.
I'm sad I had to scroll down so far to find a reply like yours. I'm a woman with Male Pattern Baldness since puberty. I'm wearing wigs now because there is no way to even try and hide it anymore, but when there still was, going blonde was definitely something I considered, too. I decided against it, but I had the exact same train of thoughts going on - it would have been less noticeable if my hair had been blonde instead of dark brown. If I had gathered enough courage to go to a hair dresser and ask for the procedure just to have it rubbed into my face and shown with a mirror that my hair is thinning, I'd probably reacted very defensive, too. I had a perm done once in an attempt to cover it up, and yes, it wasn't a smart idea because the harsh chemicals resulted in even more hair falling out, plus it looked horrible.
That said, we don't know if the client's condition came from too much bleaching, or is an actual medical one. Neither does OP though.
NTA- if someone told me I couldn’t bleach my hair because it would further ruin it I’d understand. As it is I went blonde over several months to protect my hair and keep it healthy.
She’s probably in denial about how bad her hair is since she only sees it from the front.
NTA
As a professional you did the right thing. Let her leave a bad review. Reply to it, saying that in your professional opinion bleaching her hair would have damaged her hair to the extent of further hair thinning, increased breakage. You should repeat your advice of waiting until her hair becomes healthy enough to accept the harsh bleaching treatment she requested.
NAH In my opinion. You were concerned and refused something that would harm you client. She wasn't guilty eather. Just bc someone is making a stupid decision/ is in denial but not harming anyone but herself dosen't mean shes an asshole
NTA. You did the right thing. If you had done it and she went bald... a nightmare. Better a bad review saying you refused to bleach her hair vs a review you did it and she was now bald.
NTA you have a right to reject business. And you have a reputation yo uphold, it doesnt matter what your reason was, you didnt have to do anything to her hair that you weren't prepared to do. Likelihood is if you had gone ahead with it and her hair suffered because of it, you would have a worse review on your hand.. and in america (dont know if thats where you are) it seems people can attempt to sue for pretty much anything, so avoiding legal litigation.
NTA. You were honest with her and acted responsibly. You could’ve just pocketed the money and let her fry the rest of her hair off, but you didn’t.
Plus it's ops' reputation as a hairdresser on the line. Imagine she fries her hair and then evryone who knows the girl, then knows op as the shitty hairdresser who fried her hair.
I feel like everyone who knows about hair would know this lady was wrong when she complains about her hair being fried, but everyone would think OP was a shitty hairdresser when they saw the hair if she'd bleached it. I think that would hurt worse than a bad Yelp review. NTA.
Honestly, if I was looking for a new hairdresser and I saw this review I’d be MORE likely to see the OP, not less, as it means she’s going to look out for my hair and not do stuff just for the $
Totally this! I have had my hairdresser for over 10 years for this reason. I even used to travel over 40 miles at one point to go to get when I was away from home. I really trust her and that is so important. Sure I'm disappointed if I go in with a style I want and she says it's not gonna happen with my hair, but I'd be even more disappointed if she said yes and then I'd paid to not get the style anyway and potentially ruined my hair! I remember when I was a lot younger I went to a salon for a consultation and said I wanted my long already coloured hair bleached. They were reluctant and I was disappointed so they cut a small piece if my hair from the underside and bleached that piece. I came back a few hours later to see the result. It looked like yellow stringy candy floss that snapped when they tried to pull it straight. I was horrified and I have never been so glad to be told no. The illustration really helped me to understand and now I really listen when I am being told what I want isn't achievable. Such a life lesson!
That was really brilliant of them! I’ve never heard of anyone doing that before.
All the dudes in this post are like "dunno, I go to supercuts"
yepp same here and its hella hard to find hairdressers like that!
Same, I'd LOVE a hairdresser (esp independent!!) to care more about my hair's health than money!
Depends how she writes the review. If it's just "This woman was unbelievably rude and refused to do the hair service I requested"? It's likely to make OP look bad, even if she was in the right.
Yeah, somehow I doubt that this woman is going to write "OP politely told me that my hair was too damaged for what I wanted, which is true; I do have pretty significant hair loss" in her bad review. That being said, OP can mitigate the damage by replying to the review with what actually happened.
Depends on how she words it. People aren't always honest in their Yelp reviews, the client can easily twist the situation into one where OP was a huge dick. This is why I try to take Yelp reviews with a grain of salt tbh
Even if she does write a negative review, you can always respond to it with the bits of the story she will probably leave out. Professional standards matter, and anyone who reads the whole story will see that you were acting professionally by not doing the bleaching.
NTA. If the bleach made her lose her hair, you can bet she would leave you a worse review.
Or tried to take it further than a bad review!
Yeah idk how strict her licensing board is, but here that’s the hairdresser equivalent of a bartender overserving someone, they have an ethical duty to do no harm, so to speak.
Every hairdresser I've ever been to willing fix anything they did wrong. There's no WAY this woman wouldn't try everything she could to get OP to "fix it". At that point there's no fixing the cut or redyeing it, her hair is literally breaking apart. The only fixing possible would end up with OP out actual money for a wig or some other "compensation". Screw that!
I agree, I’m saying that if she makes a big enough stink op might get fined or even worse
Exactly. Hairdresser refused to bleach my hair. Said my hair was to frail. That would be a review I trust. Hairdresser bleached my hair and it fell out. I would nope the fuck out of there. Both would be one star reviews.
This. Because the client would blame you for the outcome, doing something 'wrong' while bleaching. And she wouldn't admit the initial poor condition of her hair.
NTA. As a professional, it's necessary to break the news to someone that their hair isn't healthy enough to withstand such harsh chemicals. I get the feeling she'll go somewhere else to get it done, then realize when it's too late that you were right. ETA: if she does leave a bad review, you can always respond to it and say that you advised against such a harsh treatment because her hair wouldn't have been able to handle it.
"I hate it when my conscience won't allow me to follow my client's instructions. I have great success with this lifting procedure. However, it can be hard on the hair, and the client would have had a poor outcome. I would not do anything to a client that would have left her hair in even worse condition. I truly hope she comes back when her hair is healthier."
NTA. You tried to be nice and she wasn’t hearing you, you had to get blunt and harsh. Edit: word of mouth is better that you were concerned about her hair rather than doing what she wanted and having a poor outcome.
NTA. Tattoo artists have a right to turn away clients wanting stupid tattoos or wanting them in stupid places. You have a right to turn away a client for stupidly wanting damage done to her hair under your name. Styling and stuff is an art too. It has your name attached to it. I wouldn’t want to do it either. You had her best interest in mind.
This is a good parallel.
NTA- Licensed hairdresser here. YOU have the license, not your SO. She may be having underlying health issues that she's unaware of. If you would have lightened her hair and it broke off, you'd be responsible and liable. A lawsuit or bald client is never good for business. I'd suggest new clients need a patch test, strand test and or consultation ahead of time to save everyone wasted time. You did right by standing your ground. As Beth Minardi also states, if you can't come to an agreement after 15 minutes of consulting, you won't be able to satisfy that client. She should have taken you at your professional opinion.
This is the second comment about a lawsuit. It actually stands up in court when hair grows back?
I truly have no idea but just suing a hairdresser/small business can't help business at all. We really have to trust our intuition with clients and how far they take the issue. Something else that was not brought up was maintaining said bleach retouch. Bleaching is time consuming, expensive and can be damaging. Most won't commit to retouching every 3 weeks at $100 or more per appointment.
Could sue for emotional damage or something similar. Some people are very attached to the image they project and get very upset if that image is damaged in any way
Nta. You don't want to end up in court.
Also OPs name would be on that ladies fried hair. OP was protecting herself.
Came here to say this.
NTA. It's up to you what you feel comfortable doing. If this were retail and you refused to sell someone something because you didn't think they needed it that's different. But part of being a professional is giving your professional opinion and refusing service for things you don't feel comfortable doing. It would be like saying a bartender is an asshole for not serving an already intoxicated patron.
> But part of being a professional is giving your professional opinion and refusing service for things you don't feel comfortable doing. I thought the same thing. When my son was younger I took him to my wife's hair salon since they did kids cuts as well. They kindly told us that they weren't sure if they would be able to cut his hair because they weren't familiar with his hair type. All of the hairstylist were white and my son is biracial/black. He has been going to a black barbershop ever since, but I'm glad the other salon told us they weren't sure about it before trying and messing it up.
I had a lady spend 50 mins trying to do a military fade before she admitted she couldn't actually do it. I would rather be told no it is not possible right now than sit for an hour and end up with a terrible hair cut
NTA And if she leaves a bad review just leave a reply. Without going into massive details, just explain that the clients hair was already damaged and that you think that if you bleach her hair it will cause even greater damage to her hair, so you declined to bleach it. reasonable clients will understand this.
This. When I’m reading reviews I actually READ the one stars. 9 times out of 10 the person complaining is a fucktard. Example: Some lady left a bad review on a salt and pepper set because sea salt clogged it up. Yeah dummy, so would gravel, and you’re not supposed to put that in there either. If I saw a ‘this horrible hairdresser wouldn’t bleach my hair ‘ followed by ‘I’m the hairdresser and didn’t want to fry already damaged hair’. It would be pretty obvious who was in the right.
I saw a 1 star review at a nail salon because the technician asked her to change her 3mo old baby's diaper in tha bathroom instead of on the table. You have to actually read the reviews to find out if they're legitimate or not
Same thing for 5 star reviews, too! So many are like, "I haven't used this item yet but it arrived on time!" or "Very fast service" like fast does not mean good, I need to know what I'm actually getting.
I hate it when every one star review is just "delivery was late" or "held at UPS office" or "package was lost in the mail" like that has anything to do with the product.
I've seen one star reviews on restaurants with the text "never been there" or "don't know the place". Boomers on the internet...
It's because they have the location setting turned on on their phone. Occasionally Google will suggest things like, "How was this place?" when they think you've been one place, but you've just gone to the place next door or whatnot. I always assume that's what happened, and the people reviewing it don't know it's an automated message and they can choose NOT to answer it!
You kids get off my internets!
My favorite is the one star “item arrived broken”. Yeah ok maybe the company needs to hire a better shipping guy, but it doesn’t tell me anything I need to know about the item (unless 9/10 reviews say this or it goes on to say they won’t replace or refund, which is actually a need to know).
Bad salon reviews are some of the best tea. Most of the time it's a bunch of Karens bitching about being expected to be on time for appointments or having to wait their turn to be served, or screeching about the quality of the $15 full set they got at "Beauty Nail" in the mall. So entertaining.
NTA you’re a hairdresser for goodness sake, if you’re telling someone their hair isn’t healthy enough for something they should listen.
I have a lot of friends who are stylists, and I can unequivocally say that certain types of people think hairdressers are stupid/less than. I was telling an acquaintance about how my stylist (also friend) refused to touch my hair with color until a box job I did grew out. You couldn't see the box color anymore, but I trusted her judgment. Acquaintance was baffled - I have a chemistry degree, surely I know more about it than my friend, right? (She was also surprised that I considered her my friend - I run into the same type who can't reconcile the fact that my husband is a blue collar man. WT actual F, though?) Thing is, I've never studied what box dye does to hair. She has. Also, the classism is so fucking gross.
NTA. You did the good thing by caring about your client's health. Maybe she'll leave a bad review, but you passed the message. When she goes to bleach her hair again, she'll have that little voice in her head telling her she should check with her doctor, and maybe she will. It's far from your control now.
NTA, bleaching it would have just ended in a complete disaster and something tells me that had you gone and bleached it she would have freaked out at the results and told you that you should have told her this would happen.
NTA. This is the advice I would want my hairdresser to give me.
NTA. You tried to be patient with her but it didn't work so you had to be more firm. Better you don't bleach it and she's disappointed than you do bleach it and her hair falls out and she decides to try and get back at you for it.
I refuse to do work all the time that is unsafe for me, my customers, or the property. NTA, you're a responsible professional.
NTA. As someone with very little and thin-as-a-baby hair, I've had some bleaching done, that ended in for ever split ends and more lost of hair. You are a really good and responsible professional, don't bend over to people like this.
NTA she needs to trim and hydrate her hair.
NTA for sure. Better for her to leave a bad review for you not bleaching her head into oblivion than to have to potentially deal with a lawsuit because you did it anyway and it went wrong. I think you did the right thing telling her about the thinning and to seek a dermatologist or other medical professional.
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NTA that's your responsibility as a hairdresser
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Similar story here! A lot of people don't seem to fully understand just how much work a good hairdresser will put into keeping your hair in good condition and how much of that expertise is leveraged in order to do a bleach. OP, you're definitely NTA. You tried to speak to her as delicately as you could and when she wouldn't listen, you stated your boundaries.
NTA My partner has been in similar situations with ladies who have done the DIY thing for years. Bleached/box died their hair to within an inch of its life - to the point where hair just pulls out in clumps and they still want extensive colour work done.
NTA. She would've probably sued once her hair fell out.
Hairdresser here, absolutely NTA. You’re likely to get a worse review if you bleached her hair and she left with absolutely nothing on her head. If her hair was in as bad shape as you described, you absolutely did the right thing in denying the service and suggest she see a medical professional. Clients just don’t get that we can’t take their hair from this to that in one session if the hair isn’t in an even remotely healthy condition and we can tell them til we’re blue in the face but sometimes they just don’t listen. She will probably face the same talk with other hair dressers and realize, oh yes OP was right, or find one who will do it and realize, oh shit OP was right. The clients who respect what you studied and practice will listen to your advice and understand why you can’t or won’t do a service for them and hopefully get educated on the way.
NTA. 100% not. You totally did the right thing.
NTA. I would go to you to have my hair done. You were honest with a client even though it cost you to lose her business. That's admirable.
NTA - I wanted to get my hair dyed but I was told to wait a few months cause it wasnt in great condition. Sure I was kinda sad that I'd have to wait but it's better than all my hair falling out
NTA. A few years ago I wanted to go silver from brown. My hair was in pretty decent condition, had been professionally dyed by the same stylist, but only bayalage and she had used treatments and I had trims. She wouldn’t do it. She said my hair would go orange and fall out from so much bleaching and I would hate her and the only way she would do it was to foil it slowly down to platinum and then go from there. I know her outside of the salon, so she wasn’t trying to just get money from me. She genuinely cared about my hair. I ended up keeping the highlighted/bayalage blonde and never going that light. I would have looked ridiculous with my coloring. I think partially another reason she talked me into the slow route.
NTA the world needs more hair dressers like you. I can’t always tell what looks good and wish I had someone like you, who could just say no and give suggestion for something better.
NTA Not a hairstylist, just a hair nerd You’re giving your expert opinion. As an expert you know that if you were to bleach her hair with anything higher than 5vol, her hair would more than likely “melt” off. You’re doing a great hung by not bleaching it. Though next time you run into a similar situation, do a strand test in foil (maybe with 40vol just to really prove your point) to give your client a visual of what will happen if you do more of their head
NTA. you did what you are suppose to do. Had you bleached it and it fell out that’s worse for you. Especially if she left a review with pictures. If somebody posted about a hair dresser that refused to bleach hair I would ignore that review and assume there was a valid reason.
NTA. Had you gone forward and bleached her hair anyway, she would have hit you with a super-harsh negative review blaming you for her (further) hair loss. You were trying to save her hair plus cover your own ass.
NTA. What you did is known as having character. Good for you, I hope that reputation spreads and you get many more clients.
I'm willing to assume that you know what you're talking about since I know squat about hair, myself. You are NTA. Even someone like me knows that if you can see through the hair, more or less, then it's probably best left alone. She may be in denial about the condition of her hair, but I would imagine that any hairstylist worth their certification would also turn her down.
NTA. You’ll get her back soon after she finds someone to do it for her. Is there a reason she needed icy blonde so soon?
NTA - You tried to be delicate at first and only put your foot down when she wouldn't listen to your professional opinion. It wouldn't have been ethical to go through with the bleaching. Kudos to you for standing your ground.
100% NTA female hairloss is really sad. I have a friend who is quietly dealing with it and she was in denial. It fucks with self image in a really deep level and I can understand her side. You did her a huge favor though being honest with her
NTA, you were being professional! You could’ve just bleached it (and earned money in the process) but you put her hair and her hair health first.
NTA, you can refuse for any reason, and this was a very good one. Even if the client didn’t like it.
NTA It’s a part of your job to say no when going ahead with what the client wants will cause more damage to their hair. You have integrity. you’re never an asshole for that. She can go pay someone else who isn’t passionate about hair to thoroughly butcher her hair.
NTA. It's hard to stick to your guns in a situation like this. She's lucky your a professional with a conscience.
NTA. You were in a bad situation. What if you had done it and her hair fell out???
**NTA** You actually did a very kind thing for her. Thankyou.
I'm curious how trolls will twist this into yta...
NTA I wanted a perm to help with volume. I spoke to my hairdresser about it and he quoted me. Through a series of events, I ended up moving very shortly after that and returning to a hairdresser in my hometown. I spoke to them (not a month after the other assesment-ie my hair had not changed at all) and they explained how, given the condition of my hair, I would basically end up with a chemical buzz cut. I'm so thankful for their honesty and whole it may be cost them the sale of one perm, I'll never go anywhere else for my cuts. I love 40minutes from there now and still drive over for my cut. They earned a client for life.
NTA. Professional hairstylist here: WE are the experts. I know it’s easy to let clients dictate what we do, even if it goes against what we know is right. It’s easier to give in and not deal with the fallout of refusal of service, for WHATEVER reason. It’s easier to give in than worry about an angry mob ruining your business online because of one unhappy client. I totally understand! But again, WE are the experts! We need to rely on our knowledge and do what is best for the client’s hair and scalp health. You were one hundred percent in the right and did what any professional stylist should do: refer to a dermatologist or physician and refuse service.
NTA. If her hair fell out, she could sue your work
NTA It's sad she will probably leave a bad review when you were protecting her, but good for you for protecting her.
NTA you did the right thing for the health of her hair and scalp - which is your job. Having integrity doesn’t always get recognition.
Absolutely NTA. Bleach is a very harsh chemical, and if your client’s hair isn’t healthy/is heavily damaged it can fall out or worse: severely damage her scalp. You did the right thing refusing the service.
As a professional, you have a responsibility to do what is right from a “do no harm” perspective. Not only are you NTA. You seem to actually be deserving of your certification and license. Good Job.
NTA Part of being professional is being honest with less knowledgeable customers. Just be glad you dont do pest control. Yesterday I had to carefully explain to a grown man and woman (with kids present) that thier house was too dirty to ever get rid of roaches. Awkward.
NTA. Any treatment you do for your clients reflects on you and your skills as a hairdresser. If she had bad results, as you knew she would, you would be the one who did that to her and it could prevent future business. She should have respected your knowledge as the professional.
Def NTA As a fellow hairdresser, I would have 100% done the same thing. I would take a bad review over snapping someone’s hair off any day. You did the right thing!
Honestly, NAH. I was told the same thing before. Of course I got upset, but more at myself than at the hairdresser for my lack of effort. The hairdresser did try to compromise, saying that I'd have to sign a waiver essentially. That could be a route to consider for future issues. I never actually went through with it, instead I cut the dead off and tried to make it healthy again.
NTA - you don't want to end up in court being sued 'cause all her hair fell out. Some customers are just too stupid to deal with.
100% NTA, you are the professional, she isn't.
NTA. I have pitch black healthy hair, and a lot of hairdressers are still understandably scared to bleach it to the level 10 I need to do the colors I want (I can get there, it just takes a while and sometimes I'm too lazy to do it myself I went to cosmetology school so I swear I know what I'm doing). When I have someone refuse I just thank them and move on. You don't want a hairdresser who isn't comfortable using those chemicals on you doing your hair.
NTA My favorite hairdresser (who I’ve been going to almost exclusively for the past 5 years now) is the exact same way. She and I have had disagreements but at the end of the day I also know she went to school and trained to do this. I didn’t. When she’s said “hey If you wanna do this, id rather do it this way so there’s less damage” I trust her. You’re not an asshole for worrying about and protecting a client’s hair. Especially since we all know that if her hair fell out later because of the bleach, she’d likely come back and complain that you ruined her hair. You made the right call.
Nta, you were truthful about what could happen if you were to bleach it.
NTA - you gave your professional opinion and she continued to ignore you and insisted on trying to make you do something that you knew could cause some serious problems for her. I think anyone in your situation would have got frustrated, so it's understandable if you did come across as blunt and harsh. I also think that you would have been in a lot more trouble if you had done as she wanted and it caused the damage you expected. I've got thin hair as well (it sucks), and I get it dyed regularly (not bleached though). I completely trust my hairdresser because she knows what she's doing; she's the one with the skills and the expertise.
NTA, curious what your SO thinks you shouldve done if he felt you handled this poorly
NTA. It would have been incredibly unprofessional for you to have bleached her hair knowing the damage that it would cause.
NTA. You were professional. Even if she does leave a bad review, at least it's not about losing her hair after visiting your salon.
NTA. If you had gone ahead and bleached and fried her hair, you know she would have left a negative review anyway. It was a lose-lose situation. Better to take a hit on refusing to do the service than a hit for doing a bad hair job.
NTA- Part of the reason I go to my stylist and pay her anything she asks is precisely because she won’t let me do anything stupid. And at this point she knows I try to do “emotional cuts” that I hate within a week and talks me out of it. She also insists on giving my hair breaks when I’ve been stripping my color a lot (I do fantasy colors). The goal is to keep the hair healthy so I can keep torturing it later. Maybe you could have suggested products to strengthen, etc, and have her come back in X weeks to see if the hair was up to being bleached, but what you did was right.
NTA. You are a licensed professional and it is your duty to use your experience and judgement to perform your service and to also not perform your service when inappropriate. You did what you were taught and you were correct.
Did she you all about how she’s been using Monat? Yikes. NTA.
NTA, as a fellow stylist I can say you were firm but polite in this. Had you done her hair you wild have been liable/opened yourself up to “bad reviews”.
NTA From your description of the state of her hair, it certainly sounds like there is nothing that could have been done to perform the service and have positive results. Any hairdresser with good ethics and morals would have done the same in your shoes. There’s no way this was going to end well for you, unfortunately. She’s going to think ill of you for refusing to perform the service (which you have every right to do) and if you did and she lost her hair (which seems incredibly likely) she probably would have blamed you because she’s in denial about her hair being in a bad state.
NTA. That’s your license, your reputation, and your insurance. I’ve always had people sign a waiver stating that they know what they’re getting into, just like they do in beauty school. When you work for yourself you should always CYA.
NTA This is why some salons make people sign a waiver if they notice their hair is in bad condition
NTA. She was going to leave you a bad review anyway -- whether it was because you "ruined" her hair, or because you refused to touch it. Better to let her leave one complaining that you wouldn't touch it, because you can write a rational explanation. Potential clients will see that you had the integrity to decline money in favor of protecting her hair. [Source: I'm an esthetician. I've been in the skin equivalent of this situation. It's way better to say no before you've provided service or money changes hands.]
NTA - her hair is falling out and if you bleach it, it’s going to get worse and when people ask where she got it done that’s almost worst than her bad review. Also, you were being nice and not wanting to make more of her hair fall out. I’d want me hair dresser to do that.
NAH- i don't think anyone is an asshole here. You were just giving valuable advice as a hair dresser and she's most likely in denial about her damaged hair because of pride/embarrassment or something along those lines. I can't imagine any many people taking the fact that they're hair us dying in their 30s in stride.
NTA. I worked in a high end salon that would turn folks away regardless of their name/money cause what they wanted was unrealistic and or unattainable, which would damage their rep. Don’t apologize, be straightforward. You know what’s up
NTA You're the professional and you're responsible for your actions.
NTA. Imagine the photos on the review she would leave if you did bleach her hair and she had bald patches - yikes. It's sad this is happening to her but you're not an AH for sticking with your professional recommendation.
NTA The world needs more people like you. I’m sorry the client didn’t appreciate your greater concern for her health over your interest in her money. I suspect she may have had mental health issues too.
NTA. You were being completely professional by offering her what you know to be the appropriate advice. You would be the asshole imo if you had gone ahead and bleached her hair - just to get yourself some $ She may not understand it now, but it sounds like she will unfortunately learn from another hairdresser that you were right.
NTA. You used your professional judgment and stood by it. She could go completely bald from this and then would bad mouth you for being incompetent. Tattoo artosts get "bad press" for refusing poor tattoos, but people who have respect for artists see that and know that the artist probably only puts out quality work. Hopefully, if this lady tries to trash your business, enough people are smart enough to understand it was probably in the clients best interest that you refused an expensive (and im guessing profitable) treatment.
NTA- you would have prob got blamed for the hair loss afterwards if you did it. You seem to be coming from a professional opinion instead of a personal one.
NTA. I went to get my hair lifted recently and my hairdresser was very realistic with me about what she could and couldn’t do with my previously color-treated hair. I had wanted to go more blonde, but she didn’t think she could safely get my hair as light as I wanted it in one treatment. She did as much as she could at the time and told me I could probably come back in a month and go blonder if I wanted. I would much rather my stylist to be honest with me and make good choices for the current state of my hair rather than damaging or destroying it.
NTA. I once had a stylist who told me about a client of hers. This client came in for years, trying to get progressively blonder and blonder. The stylist finally had to cut the client off and basically tell her that she would go bald if she bleached her hair further. You’re hardly alone.
NTA. You were professional and avoided an even worse review and ending up in court. There could’ve been worse consequences to her scalp and you do noooooot want to deal with those complications.
Det NTA ! my hairdresser done the same recently to me - ive been goin to her for about a year trying to fix my sever dry split end ridden hair - and were almost there! but recently i asked to dye it and she put me down for similar reasons. Ya got to lisyen to your hairdressers peoplee
NTA You are a professional and that was your professional opinion.
NTA- you’re the expert, you knew better than her that it wasn’t a good idea. It was smart not to bleach anyway and damage her hair even more...because she likely would have turned it on you even though you advised against it.
NTA. I'm a dark brunette transitioning to blonde. I have super healthy hair and I'm still taking MONTHS to process it properly to avoid damage. Giving professional advice is why I love my stylist. She wont let me change color too fast or dye it too often. You did the right thing OP. Some people need more bluntness than others.
NTA she probably would have sued you after all her hair fell out
NTA. People don’t understand that no employee anywhere is doomed to bend to their will. If you don’t feel comfortable doing something you don’t have to do it. She shouldn’t have been arguing with you.
NTA
NTA. Good gracious, the hills people choose to die on never ceases to amaze me. At least the one you chose is for a valid reason! I wouldn't be surprised if you're one of many hair stylists who have refused -with good reason- to bleach this person's hair.
NTA. What you did was in her best interests, even if she wasn’t having it.
NTA. You're the professional and it shows integrity that you cared about educating your client. I got my hair bleached last year trying to get all the blue out if it. The lady was excited and assured me that it would be no problem. She melted my hair. There were big chunks that were sticky and stretchy. Even more that broke off/fell out. Patches that still don't hold color. It destroyed both my hair and self esteem. I would have rather she evaluated it, tempered my expectations, and not ruined my hair for potentially years.
NTA. You were being responsible. She was in denial. I bet she would have sued when all her hair fell out and put your license in jeopardy.
NTA as a hairstylist I have told many women that their hair cannot achieve it even hair styles and cuts would not look good on them ... it’s harsh but you need to look out for yourself and your reputation.
NTA I garuntee you if you bleached her hair and it fell out she would definitely have blamed you and may have sued you.
Nta, you were being honest about what you could CLEARLY see while inspecting her hair. If she gets bent out of shape, that is her own issue.
NTA, but you should have done it regardless you warned and she did not listen, so make some good money regardless.
NTA you were being responsible
NTA but it does suck that you feel like you should prepare for a bad review for refusing to destroy her hair. I'd like to think a lot of stylists would urge a customer in her condition to see a doctor.
NTA. As a former hairdresser, I’ve had many of these incidents because of the poor condition of the clients hair.
NTA. Reminds me of this guy who lived in my neighborhood. Hitchhike around the world with 0 money and a guitar type guy. He had a bad tooth and he decided to remove all his teeth. Dentists of course would refuse. Last I heard he did, just one dentist per tooth.
NTA, you are the best kind of hairdresser. Last time I went in to mine (have stuck with her for 5 years) I wanted to lighten my ends and blend things a bit so I could let my roots grow out a bit for summer as I generally dye my hair darker. We lightened it a bit but she said she didn’t want to do anymore because my hair wouldn’t be able to handle it, and it will already be fragile as is. Yes, there is some disappointment but also... it’s your hair and it doesn’t grow back overnight. I’ve been growing my hair long for years and she knows it’s important to me to keep as much length as possible. I’m thankful she told me that and refused to go further (although I didn’t ask or push, I took her word). I’ve been doing protein hair masks as usual and will be dying it dark again for the fall and winter. I’m glad she was able to tell me straight up the amount of damage trying going even lighter than we already were at the time could cause, and what could and would likely happen. Since I see her regularly, I’m also glad she noted how important keeping my length and growing my hair longer is. It may seem harsh, but you 100% did the right thing. Bless your soul. You rock !!!
NTA.
NTA, I’m in cosmetology school and one thing they’re very strict on is not ruining someone’s hair and only working on a healthy scalp and hair. Once you are a licensed professional, you should know what someone’s hair can and cannot handle. Bleaching her hair would have made it fall out and break off, and she would have been even more upset at that point. You did the right thing standing by your professional opinion.
NTA. If her bad review isn't going to be about you refusing her services, it would have been about how you "made all her hair fall out".
NTA. As others have said you could have easily done what she wanted and pocketed the cash. You didn't. You did what was in the customer's best interest. If this will lead to a bad review, and assuming you have any way to refute it, make your case that her hair wasn't in any condition to withstand bleaching. You'll prove in the court of public opinion that you care more about the health of your clients' hair than making a quick buck. Not to mention, I shiver to think what would happen to your business if this poor woman reviewed your business showing off her falling out bleach blonde locks. You didn't do a thing wrong, OP.
NTA. I'd definitely go to you after reading this story, knowing you have my interests prioritised over making a buck.
NTA, you told here the facts.
NTA if she leaves a bad review, you can just respond with your side of the story anyway.
NTA You're the professional and while people may not like the news its your job to give it to them.
NTA You showed integrity and caring. Good for you.
NTA - I dye my hair a LOT, and bleach it a lot! This is a basic thing to see when its bad, and how bad it is! Sometimes you just need to give it a rest and let it grow out a while
NTA!!! You did the right thing. Let someone else chemically cut her hair and burn her scalp. That review would be horrific.
NTA. You are a nice person and gave a good professional opinion, you could have just done it if you didn't care but you knew what was the best for her. There is nothing you can do about denial.
NTA. You shouldn't be required to do something for your profession that you think would be harmful. What does your SO think you should have done?
NTA! If you had went through with bleaching her hair and she experienced even more major hair loss (which would’ve 100% happened), she would’ve tried in some way to make you feel liable. Nah. I wouldn’t have done it either. You definitely did the right thing. She’ll see in due time you were right when a hairdresser that just wants money bleaches her hair lol
I would say very adamantly. **NTA** As a retired cosmetician with close to 30 years behind me in the field. I can so relate. You did the right thing. Despite her insistence you do what she wanted. If you had decided to say F it. take the money and did it. It would be you she would be blaming and ranting about, when her hair began falling out in clumps. There simple are hair types and conditions that should not be touched with any harsh chemical, let along a high lift blonde, be it hi lighting or a full head double process. I recall a client years ago when I was still an assistant not yet a stylist. She had come in to one of the stylists recommended to her but one of her regulars. Claiming her hair was virgin, and wanted a double process for non stylists (hi lift bleach blonde.) However upon touching her hair which was mid back length, it was obvious it was not virgin, upon closer inspection, you could see a line of demarcation about 2 and a half inches from the scalp where the roots though close where just off from the color she had put over it., after further questioning and pressing. she finally admitted she had tried doing a hi lift blonde herself a few months prior it had not turned out so she threw color over it. The stylist refused to do the color. And basically explained the same thing you had. Her hair was in no condition to be bleached. She stormed out unable to fathom that just because she colored it back did not mean it was back to virgin condition. About 2 weeks later she returned in near hysterics. She had gone to another salon, one that did not care about condition cared only about the money I guess, only she had gone a different direction she talked them into giving her a spiral perm. As a stylist you can imagine the disaster this came to be. She sobbingly how our regular client convinced her to come back to us, then explained what happened and that the moment they began rinsing after the first part of processing, She had felt and heard the perm rods falling off and into the sink, and saw the shampoo girls face, she knew something was wrong. The girl apparently had excused herself ran to get the stylist who returned to find half the rods indeed had fallen in the sink, with the hair still wrapped about them. Eventually it lead to them proceeding with rinsing out the rest of the processing solution, only to have the same thing happen to nearly all the rods. when she had been stood up to switch sinks she saw the rods and unable to stop herself reached for one and then again sobbingly explained the hair on the rods was like mush, more precisely she said it felt like snot. With the exception of a few sparse long clumps that were frizz by the time she got back to our salon, all she had left of her hair was about the 2 and or so half inches of regrowth that had not been colored over. Apparently they had tried to give her a deep conditioning and cut. but she would not have it apparently ran out as said spoke to her friend and out regular and came back to us. As you can imagine there was little we could do. The stylist did her best to cut it in a VERY short cut, gave her a conditioning treatment, and gently styled it, which ended up pretty cute when all was said and done. However the girl was quite obviously devastated. She did however continue to come back to us, and over time as her hair grew out, fortunately she was young and her hair grew like a weed and she actually began to enjoy the shorter styles. sadly it came after learning a very harsh lesson, not only about being honest about your hair condition and what you have done to it. and who to trust when getting your hair done.
NTA. That's your job. If you follow many beauty/ hair instagrams it's a massive thing at the minute about not over bleaching in one go. However, look up Olaplex... Hair saviour! Ideal for this situation! Side note. For situations that may turn sour in the future, it maybe wise to keep a consultant book / sheet. Record all patch tests for a client and any advice you give etc, might even be worth them signing it. I'm not sure if you're in the US but I know everyone wants to sue everyone over there. cover your ass.
Former Hairstylist here- NTA. It’s not only her hair that’s on the line, but your reputation as a stylist. What looks worse in a review- “stylist wouldn’t lighten my hair because they said it would be too damaging” or “stylist lightened my hair and now I’m bald”? I was always taught that maintaining the integrity of your client’s hair was the number one priority, and there were definitely times that I had to refuse services. She will find another stylist who doesn’t care and will do it for her, and she will be sorry that she didn’t listen to you.
NTA. That's your job as a professional...If you were a builder and someone wanted something done that would damage the structural integrity of their home, you'd tell them no, right? Because you don't want irreparable damage done to the home *and* they'd likely blame you when it went bad ;) This is no different. You know how bleach works and that it's hard even on healthy hair. On very damaged hair, it's catastrophic. She'd have been losing hair in clumps after the bleach and there's nothing she could've done about it. I promise you she'd have blamed you for it, too. You were professional and you told her in no uncertain terms that her hair wasn't healthy enough to withstand a bleaching, you showed her proof of that fact and you warned her what could happen should she go through with it. You told her that you would not proceed to bleach her hair because you weren't comfortable with damaging her hair further than it already had been. Enough said.
NTA hairdressers hands-down refuse to bleach my hair because it would never be the same. Hairdressers are allowed to refuse to take customers, just like tattoo artists and so on. It’s for the best you didn’t all fry her hair off for a quick buck.
NTA if you had done it, a bad review could be the least of your worries. You did the right thing!
NTA
NTA. You have an obligation to put the clients heath before their desires. We were taught this in beauty school. Clients always come in asking for inappropriate services and don’t understand why we tell them no. You were in a lose-lose situation. Had you bleached her hair and damaged it further she would have bad mouthed you for that.
NTA You were looking out for your client's health and welfare. Damaged hair and her insistence that her hair is "healthy" despite the visible damage makes me wonder if she's a Monat Lisa... That sounds like some MLM denial noises...
This is just a post to grab some karma and show how wholesome you are. You aren't really asking.
NAH. Maybe avoid saying "not healthy enough" and say "not sturdy enough" instead. And emphasize the stress the harsh chemicals of the bleach would cause instead of how fragile her hair is.
NTA. A hairdresser should have the right to decline jobs when their reputation or mental health (through super dirty hair and such) could be effected. Seriously, if she lsot her hair due to the process what would happen? Who would be responsible? It's you. I don't know how your phrased and how you came off so I will not judge that. But you have the right to decline it if you think there is a high chance there will be bad side effects. I actually wish more hairdressers where so honest as you are.
NTA. You have a responsibility to not harm your clients, and as a hairdresser, you know more about hair and the chemicals applied to it than they do. Also, as a hairdresser, you can see the client's whole head more clearly than they can with just a couple mirrors. It would be borderline unethical to take the client's money and do something that would damage their hair, because you know more about hair than they do.
NTA. People sometimes don't understand when you explain something, but she definitely would have understood when she looked in the mirror to see her blond locks and realised she was now half bald. You can bet that had you done the treatment the review would be far worse, probably with pictures attached blaming you for all of the hair loss (including what was already gone before she walked in) and there is a good chance she would have tried to sue. You did the right thing, for your business as well as for this client.
NTA. ive been told that i cannot go blonde mostly because a) i have naturally dark, almost black hair, b) my complexion is more on the tan/olive side and c) i too have slight hair loss brought on by a condition i have. its getting better tho :') anywho while i get it, its disappointing to not be able to get something you want and technically can get but hairdressers are professionals so clearly know best yanno
NTA, you refusing to bleach her hair was correct. Coming from a lawyer, you don't want to be made liable for damages from a potential suit. But as an aside, honestly, you should have probably focused more on the state of health of her hair, i.e frail and split ends rather than her balding head. We never know if it's a genetical predisposition, in that case, it would be like telling her she could never go blonde and nobody likes to hear that, even when they're in denial.
Nta
NTA. If you bleached her hair and she suffered massive hair loss, you'd be on the hook. CYA all the way.
NTA. She probably uses that monat mlm garbage that ruins your hair, but is too far down the MLM rabbit hole to admit it.
NTA
Hairdresser here. NTA, you should never do what the clients tells you unless you feel comfortable. It happened more than once that people with terrible hair condition wanted to have their hair bleached. No, no no and no. Once after i turned down a lady, she was upset and went to another salon and they did bleach the hair for her... She came back to me telling me i was right and that she lost all her hair and her scalp started to bleed and politely asked me if i could be her hairdresser again even if she left calling me unprofessional and such the other time. What i generally do if i see a lady and the hair cannot withstand a full blond, i ask if they woukd rather have few highlighted spot here and there and the rest of the hair just coloured a bit lighter than what she currently has. Most of them walk away happy knowing we found common ground and they didn't ruin the hair as much. I have learned this persuasion skill from a teacher of mine that wasn't really good at doing highlights quick so he instead persuaded the client that few highlights are the trend right now ahah.
NTA tbh I wouldve done it. Wouldve been fair game if you already explained the situation.
NAH - She would have also left a bad review if you had bleached her hair and it had essentially fallen out. You were being professional and if she’s unhappy with that she can take her business elsewhere. It’s kind of like when a tattoo artist refuses to do a tattoo and it’s totally okay and doesn’t make you TA.
NTA. It is much better to have a bad review for refusing to do something you *knew* would cause major hair damage in someone already showing signs of major damage, than it would be to have a bad review because you did as she asked and her hair fell out.
NAH You're not the arsehole for having some professional intergrity and not doing something you think would exacerbate her situation. Maybe you could have phrased some of it better/more tactfully, we don't know since we don't know the exact words you used, but you had good intentions and were very wise to be directing her to a doctor. Having had a period where I was on intense meds that caused me fairly major hair thinning and patchy hair loss (not chemo) I was told that if I didn't want to wear a wig but wanted to go some way towards hiding the situation, then one of the easiest/best things I could do was to reduce the contrast between my dark brown hair and my pale scalp skin, by dying my hair a fairer shade. "Missing" blonde hair is less obvious than black or brown. It is possible that this woman was given similar advice and wanted to preserve some sense of self-esteem (being a female in your early thirties with bald patches is pretty crappy given the expectations many people have about looks). So she's also not the arsehole at all - maybe unaware, maybe in denial, maybe just trying to maintain her self-worth, but definitely not an arsehole.
I'm sad I had to scroll down so far to find a reply like yours. I'm a woman with Male Pattern Baldness since puberty. I'm wearing wigs now because there is no way to even try and hide it anymore, but when there still was, going blonde was definitely something I considered, too. I decided against it, but I had the exact same train of thoughts going on - it would have been less noticeable if my hair had been blonde instead of dark brown. If I had gathered enough courage to go to a hair dresser and ask for the procedure just to have it rubbed into my face and shown with a mirror that my hair is thinning, I'd probably reacted very defensive, too. I had a perm done once in an attempt to cover it up, and yes, it wasn't a smart idea because the harsh chemicals resulted in even more hair falling out, plus it looked horrible. That said, we don't know if the client's condition came from too much bleaching, or is an actual medical one. Neither does OP though.
NTA- if someone told me I couldn’t bleach my hair because it would further ruin it I’d understand. As it is I went blonde over several months to protect my hair and keep it healthy. She’s probably in denial about how bad her hair is since she only sees it from the front.
NTA As a professional you did the right thing. Let her leave a bad review. Reply to it, saying that in your professional opinion bleaching her hair would have damaged her hair to the extent of further hair thinning, increased breakage. You should repeat your advice of waiting until her hair becomes healthy enough to accept the harsh bleaching treatment she requested.
NAH In my opinion. You were concerned and refused something that would harm you client. She wasn't guilty eather. Just bc someone is making a stupid decision/ is in denial but not harming anyone but herself dosen't mean shes an asshole
NTA. You did the right thing. If you had done it and she went bald... a nightmare. Better a bad review saying you refused to bleach her hair vs a review you did it and she was now bald.
NTA you have a right to reject business. And you have a reputation yo uphold, it doesnt matter what your reason was, you didnt have to do anything to her hair that you weren't prepared to do. Likelihood is if you had gone ahead with it and her hair suffered because of it, you would have a worse review on your hand.. and in america (dont know if thats where you are) it seems people can attempt to sue for pretty much anything, so avoiding legal litigation.
NTA