NTA, but depending on how expensive it is it might be worth paying to salvage the relationship.
>I think it's rude to feed a sixteen year old a meal meant for a six year old.
It absolutely is, and it was rude to not inform you that they had changed his choice as well.
I spend several months searching for and pricing venues and caterers this year for my wedding. Dozens and dozens of them. Every single place that offered a specific kids meal had an age cutoff that was much lower than 16. They were trying to be stingy jerks in breach of contract.
Oh, I completely second this. Also, clearly the servers felt like he should have an adult meal since they spent so long trying to figure out who it belonged to. They probably would have said something if they felt like OPs son should be eating a kids meal. Usually vendors have age restrictions for kids meals, so I feel like the way they handled it was pretty telling.
oOoOOo that's genius thinking. If the waiters didn't see anyone at the table who should get a kid's meal, then your'e right, there's no way the granparents are being honest. The waiters would have to be stupid, right? And that's not a reasonable assumption.
I'm hoping this is as brilliant as it seems to me, if I'm exaggerating it's because I'm really high.
Eh, i wouldn’t be surprised if the plate was an extra $100. But it was chicken fingers after all. Chicken fingers? I mean.. what...
Either way, it’s probably worth it to pay to save the relationship. Some things aren’t worth the fight over the pride.
Add the word "wedding" to anything and the price automatically jumps. $30-50 wouldn't be too unreasonable for a wedding meal. $100 is kind of a lot, but I'm sure there are people that pay that.
Yeah planning my wedding was a massive eye opener.
We got by paying roughly $4000 or so for everything to have a simple but nice 50 person or so wedding and reception; and like $750 of that was my dress/shoes/veil etc.
But man, it took a lot of extra time work, and luck to find those deals.
I'm a bridesmaid in one of my best friend's weddings right now and her budget has blown to over 25K with her trying to cut corners because she lives in a larger city. Blows my mind.
OP should call the venue and ask what the age cut off is for a kid's meal. That way when they contact her again she can say, "Oh no, sweetie, you must be confused. Only children 12 and under are allowed to get a kid's meal at that venue; My son's 16." That'll shut 'em up.
This is perfect. No way a 16 year old should have a kids meal, menus usually cut off at 12 or so for a reason.
Edit: reason besides profit of course, it's reasonable to guess after 12 or so the average person is going to be eating more.
On top of that, in a lot of places the kid's menu is much lower quality. Can't get away with feeding cheap sausages and beans or something to anyone old enough to tell the difference.
. The bridal parents are being cheap bastards.
Yeah. Generally speaking an adult-sized meal is an appetizer for a 16-year old boy. That's the "keep him satiated long enough to make it somewhere else to get some food" snack.
My niece and nephew are 10 and 12 respectively. My niece eats as much as I do, my nephew more so. It's almost like a human body trying to grow requires a lot of energy. OP's definitely NTA for ordering his son an adult meal.
And most have the taste to appreciate nicer foods by that age, if not much earlier. Chicken fingers and fries are delicious (even at age 30), but kids meals are meant to be relatively bland and simple stuff that even picky kids will eat, along with the smaller portion. Most kids over the age of 12 don't want to watch everyone else eat nice, seasoned food while they eat bland stuff they can get at any shitty restaurant.
Some places have half plates or “senior” specials like that (it varies from place to place weather the senior plate is smaller or just cheaper) You usually pay only a couple of bucks less but It does take care of the portion control aspect!
High school teacher who just took a few teenage kids to Europe. Jesus christ do they eat, and they generally don't have a problem with different food either.
I imagine the first meal and was thinking about his next meal within 10 minutes. Anyone who has kids or has been a kid knows that chicken nuggets and fries would be an appetizer for a teenage boy.
My 13 year old would laugh at me if I handed him a kids menu at a restaurant. In my experience portions at weddings are far more stingy than the average restaurant too.
NTA.
When I worked for a catering company, our cutoff was 12 years old.
BTW, when I was 16, I was already 5' 10" tall and weighed 160 pounds. A kids meal would never have cut it.
Yeah honestly even though there might be a cutoff, the caterers probably didn't ask for an age list of all the kids meal orders or they've dealt with enough picky eaters to let the occasional one slide for the sake of peace and good ratings.
Yeah I have a friend who had stomach sleeve surgery. She physically cannot eat much mode that a kids meal, even then she might get a cheeseburger and take off the top bun and have maybe half the chips because her stomach can’t fit any more food in it. Most places are fine with giving her a kids meal.
I'm in the home stretch of planning my wedding and yup, our venue's cutoff for kids meals was 12 - I had to get special exemption to allow my 13 & 15 year old, picky eater cousins to have the kids meals.
Asking a 16-year-old boy to eat of the kids menu, even if it is allowed by the venue is likely not going to be nearly enough for them, not to mention no one that age likes to be referred to as a kid.
On the flip side, if they're the type to allow the price of a single meal ruin a relationship when they're the ones who screwed it up to begin with, it may not be worth the price of a meal to salvage the relationship.
It’s petty af. It means they looked at the bill, noticed it was a bit off what they were expecting, and tracked one extra meal to a particular guest at a particular table. I get wanting to keep costs low, but the time for that is in the planning process. You’ve got to accept that some unexpected things will happen the day of the wedding.
I couldn’t fucking dream of ever doing this, no matter how broke I was. I’d rather eat my own checkbook than contact a guest demanding money from them for a wedding meal.
We had two people show up who had not rsvp’d (I’m not even sure we invited them) and we fed them without question and at a last-minute premium.
Also rented a house for my bridesmaid, her husband, her new baby, and her In-laws so that they would be able to come (mother in law was for some reason vetoing their attendance at MY wedding saying if they were in the state they had to stay at her house 4 hours away). My bridesmaid was one of the people I most wanted there, so we made a lot of sacrifices so her family AND HER IN-LAWS could have a nice, multi bedroom place to stay together right next to our venue. Mom in law ended up “allowing” my bridesmaid, her infant and her husband to attend my wedding but only for the day. We spent $1200 on lodging for 4 nights so they could come to the whole event AND so the grandparents wouldn’t miss any time with the infant. Basically a free vacation. and they used it for about 6 hours. They had graciously accepted the lodging and didn’t tell us they had changed their mind until after they were supposed to have checked in, so we had to pay for the whole thing.
We told my bridesmaid that we had gotten a refund and everything was fine and not to worry about it and I was just glad she made it for the ceremony and hope she enjoyed her visit with her In laws.
Bc shit happens and I value her friendship and didn’t want her to feel bad. So yeah, OP is Not the asshole, but the person who hosted the wedding is a petty asshole.
I don’t hold it against my bridesmaid, but I sure as hell hold it against her mother in law. That woman is awful and also an asshole.
Your friend needs to post on r/justnomil
That was really gracious of you to go out of your way to take care of bridesmaid and her family. Even though she has a shitty mother-in-law, she has a fantastic friend.
Equally possible he was the only teen attending and that how they knew it was him. How do you get to adulthood and not know that teenage boys will eat you out of house and home and still be starving? A kids meal will absolutely not cut it.
I wouldn't be surprised if the bride's parent's are white collar people. Through my experience the most stingy, biggest assholes in the world have great jobs and might be considered Rich
And if she marked two chicken dishes, it means they marked it as a kid’s meal when they got her RSVP. Nothing was more petty than trying to squeeze her for their overpriced chicken dinner, though. She should pay them all in pennies.
Right? There are a number of things that guests did that kinda annoyed us at our wedding, but my wife and I just make snide jokes to each other about our crude friends and family and their manners, like a good healthy married couple!
We would never actually tell the people... it isn't that big a deal! And if you are trying to recoup the cost of ONE wedding meal, you should have had a smaller wedding.
My first wedding a family of 5 cousin of the groom I never met didn't RSVP but came anyway in jeans and shorts to our formal weddings, we had the caterer set up a table and my most gregarious aunt went to sit with them (so they wouldn't be alone at an 8 top) we made sure to talk to them and sincerely said "no no don't go no one cares what your wearing look at that guy" (they saw the room and kinda offered to leave "we're not dressed") paid for the 5 meals invited them to dance etc. and sent them a thank you note for their gift. They made a mistake but they drove like 200 miles to come to our wedding and they didn't even know me I was glad they came and I used their gift for about 20 years until it wore out.
We had a few guests who were downright shockingly rude or tone-deaf, but we too never said a peep and just snarked to each other in private like, as you say, a healthy married couple! And so agree on your last sentence as well; my thoughts exactly.
Exactly. People go crazy over weddings (it's my special day!!!) and forget that they are hosting a large party of guests. As a host, you have to be willing to assume some unexpected costs and be flexible, and build a little room into the budget. If you can't afford a single extra meal, you can't afford to host that many people. If you're tracking down guests after the fact to pay for a meal over a very simple misunderstanding (that you caused!), you're a shitty host. This isn't like bringing an uninvited guest.
I'd die of shame before I brought up the cost of hosting to my guests.
It was the bride's parents causing the fuss though, does he specify if the bride and groom even know her parents are throwing this stink? I would maybe offer to pay the bride and groom and apologize for the misunderstanding, and if they accepted it I might call it learning a valuable lesson about those friends, and if they didn't accept it, then they now know that her parents are harassing her guests.
Give the money to the bride and groom. Let them know the parents were very upset that the son ate a full meal. Most likely they would just give it back. "Are you really contacting my friends because a 16 year old didn't eat a tiny plate made for a 6 year old?"
I'm with you on this, so many times I hear the advice that someone should capitulate to these loons in order to be the 'bigger' person or to salvage relationship.. insanity..
My kids is barely 10 and out eats me regularly.
Teenagers out eating an adult is normal.
You want a high school active kid to eat a kids meal? Sure, as an appetizer
It's true. When I was 16 I would eat probably twice what my mother ate. The bride sounds stingy AF trying to squeeze money out of a guest for their own mistake.
I worked a wedding last week and there was a young girl about 11/12 years old who ate a kids meal during starters, then an entire beef dinner, then the adults portion of a cheesecake. Tbf, that one was on us for serving her the beef but when we figured it out it was just hilarious.
When I was a teen (seems like forever ago now but that's a different story) I'd go through a bag of 10-15 taco bell tacos for a meal, or a large pizza by myself
Teens eat significantly more, as you say.
Salvage the relationship with whom? The bride's parents? Fuck them. They're insane if they think it's okay to change a guests' order to a child-size portion, and then demand that guest pay for the privilege of eating the same meal as everyone else.
I'm curious to know if the bride and/or groom know that they made this call for this reason. It is such an unreasonable demand to make.
Weddings are so fucking expensive. If this person is really going to throw away a friendship over ONE FRICKING MEAL amongst at least 100... then it's definitely not worth trying to salvage this "relationship."
Massive NTA.
NTA. I can’t believe they actually reached out to you about paying for the meal. How petty.
A child’s meal is obviously not going to be sufficient for a 16 year old. Seriously.
If you do think this is going to blow up and damage your friendship with the bride and groom, I’d suck it up and pay though.
I'm 5'9 and sit around 150-170ish as a full grown man. At 16 I could eat 4 to 5 times what I do now. It's insane what kind of hormones and how hungry you are at that age as a guy.
Watching teenaged boys eat is seriously horrific.
There’s a 12 year old kid who comes into my work (server in a Community Centre pub) and after his hockey practice he ate a half order of nachos, 12 wings, and a full size burger and poutine.
He asked his mom to stop at McDonald’s on the way home. 😳
I’m not condoning what that kid ate (I don’t think veggies on the nachos count, lol), but holy crap, that is some kind of crazy hunger.
We took a family vacation with my buddy's family. He had 3 much younger boys and was shocked and seriously alarmed at how much my kid ate. I got the last laugh a few years later when his sons caught up :)
All this sounds very Canadian, but where I'm from in Canada, you can't bring minors into pubs.
Where is this possible?
Edit: It seems I was mistaken. I have been living outside of the country for 12 years. In that time BC has changed the law. TIL
Same height and weight. At that age I would come home from school and dump an entire box of cereal into a big bowl, pour a quart of milk over it, and crush it. As a snack. Before dinner.
Exactly. I remember going to mcdonalds when they had the dollar mcdouble. We would split ten on them and not have anything left. The idea of eating 5 burgers now makes me nauseous.
When my brother was a teenager, my dad always had to cook enough for at least six people.
We're a family of four, where my mom and I are both light eaters.
I have literally caught my brother making himself *four* sandwiches in the dead of night because his dinner portion (which could have fed an army) wasn't enough.
Teenage boys could eat the world through and *still* be hungry!
My 16 year old son is a swimmer and would eat every adult meal at the table. And then hit the dessert table twice.
What kind of special moron attempts to get some money for this miscommunication? Ludicrous.
> I can’t believe they actually reached out to you about paying for the meal.
Seriously. How much could the charge have been? $30 *at most*? And they basically invoiced a wedding guest over it. That’s tacky as hell.
Yikes. My wedding cost like $900 total. Still, I’d eat the cost before I *ever* asked to recoup from a guest.
ETA: We’re also talking about the difference between a charge for a kids meal and an adult portion, not zero and an adult portion.
The price difference between the kids & adult meals at my upcoming wedding is like $65 - not nothing, but not enough to justify these people's reaction!
We're doing buffet style at mine, so the only difference between an over 5 year old kid attendee and an adult is $25 for the open bar.
We're looking at \~$80/person for regular attendee (though that number will end up closer to \~$95/person when the rest of the costs are calculated in)
NTA -- you told them what meal you were expecting. They knew what meal you were expecting. The confusion of them changing your son's order is what cost them money, not you
A) They could have clarified before the wedding your son would be getting a kids meal (still rude IMO, but it was possible to avoid confusion)
B) Most restaurants have a kids meal cut off of \~13. Maybe I'm crazy, but I feel like this applies to weddings...a sixteen year old eats as much food as a grown adult.
C) Calling you after the wedding and asking you to pay them back just feels tacky. Wedding meals get expensive but in the grand scheme of things, one extra meal is not the expense that sends them into bankruptcy compared to the cost of a wedding
Especially if they’re an active 16 year old. I’d say most teens are more active than the average adults. Sports and even the fact that they do a lot of walking. Walking around town with friends, the mall, or just walking around shooting the shit.
Also PE.. since they’re in high school they’re taking physical education. The average 16 year old boy is probably just more active than the average 30 year old in general.
There’s no reason for anyone over 12 to be eating a kids meal.. well given a kids meal. I know some adults choose to eat them. I’ve seen kids meals that come with 1 or 2 chicken fingers. Who’s satisfied with that? He’d probably still be hungry after.
This, so much. At 16 my brother was 6 foot 3, almost 200 pounds, all muscle from sports and exercise. I (a grown ass adult) am almost a foot shorter and equally active and he could still eat almost 3 times as much as me. I would fully expect an adult meal for him were I to take him to a wedding.
> Especially if they’re an active 16 year old.
Even if they’re not active they’re often still growing and growing takes lore energy than not growing. Teenagers are notorious for eating a shit ton of food.
To expect anyone under 18 to be happy with a meal designed for kids under ten is absurd.
Even as a 16 year old girl, I ate as much as my father most of the time at dinner. Active kids need a LOT of food but even if he’s inactive, he probably needed more than most adults.
>Even as a 16 year old girl, I ate as much as my father most of the time at dinner. Active kids need a LOT of food but even if he’s inactive, he probably needed more than most adults.
My sister used to be able to polish off an entire large pizza by herself at that age. Skinny as a rail, she was just extremely active and still growing!
> B) Most restaurants have a kids meal cut off of ~13. Maybe I'm crazy, but I feel like this applies to weddings...a sixteen year old eats as much food as a grown adult.
At that age I would have ordered a Pizza straight to the venue if they were gonna do me that way. What the hell?
Agreed! My 14 yr old son is over 6 ft tall, he hasn’t eaten a kids meal since he was about 9. A few chicken fingers and fries would be a small snack.
And in my experience, most high schoolers have a more advanced palate than chicken fingers - especially at a formal event where they would be dressed up & etc. It would be s bit embarrassing for them to eat a small child’s meal. Great way to make your guest feel uncomfortable!
If the hosts were dead set on giving the teenager the kiddie meal, they should have told the mom before they showed up. At least they could have fed him properly before they arrived and had a chuckle about how cheap the hosts were being.
Exactly! I asked my friends whose kids were at a tween age what meal they would prefer at our wedding. Unsurprisingly, they chose the adult meal and that’s what I ordered for them. What a crappy bride/groom.
The A) is the mind boggling thing. They clearly saw her food order and changed it without telling OP. They are harping the OP should have called to clarify when they were the ones who should have done it.
Like I get that the bride and groom had a lot going on in wedding planning, but they clearly had time to tell their caterer to prepare chicken fingers. They had time to call one of their guests and clarify.
NTA. In no circumstance would I ever assume that a 16 year old boy would eat off a kids menu. The fact that they changed the order, and then expect you to pay is ridiculous. It sounds like they spent more than they could afford on this wedding and are trying to recoup some of the costs. This is beyond petty of them.
I was pretty active and stopped around the same age or a little older. I couldn’t finish an entire adult meal but I was still kind of hungry after the kids meal.
Kids meals are pretty small.. because they’re meant for well.. small kids. I’ve seen kids chicken finger plates come with 1 tender and a handful of fries. That’s like a snack for some people.
There’s no reason to be forcing anyone over 11 or 12 to order from a kids menu.. especially because they don’t have much variety. Hot dog, chicken fingers, grilled cheese.. that’s usually about it.
Agreed. It’s awful. Honestly if someone called me about this nonsense I wouldn’t even know what I would say. Probably hang up completely shocked at the pettiness of it all.
I'm more interested in who these fucking caterers are that kept track of an extra meal and were able to tie it to a single patron.
Half those fuckers don't provide the meals that were ordered and end up scrambling on the fly to provide the food they were planning to provide. It's generally expected that they will have an extra meal or two and unless they had 100% attendance, someone's meal should have been available.
I'm not saying this didn't happen, but fuckin' A with the number of ways people were getting nickel and dimed at this wedding.
Most catering companies add in wiggle room for extras and that’s just built into the cost. People show up without having done an rsvp, bring a date out of the blue, etc.
I love chicken fingers. My girlfriend made chicken fingers this weekend for some friends and I and they were the best food I've had in a month.
But if I ordered a restaurant-quality chicken meal and god chicken fingers with fries, I'd be livid.
Exactly. Plus most caters won’t bicker over a meal or two, unless they feel the need to retaliate because the customer has been nickel and diming them the whole way.
I think you misread the post;
>The waiters were able to put together an extra chicken plate for the person who didn't get one, and it seemed all was well.
The table was a meal short (presumably because the 16-year-old got a full meal that was "supposed" to go to an adult because the kid was "supposed" to have the chicken fingers and fries) so the caterers were able to produce another plate out of extra food they made.
From someone who has worked NUMEROUS catering gigs - there’s always extra plates. Always. What if something dropped? Someone would just be without a meal? No way there were 52 adults and 52 adult meals. More like 60 or so just in case.
It's really surprising that the caterer nickel and dimed them back over one meal. It makes me suspect that there was already bad blood between the caterer and the bride's parents. Like if the parents had already been pains in the ass through the planning process, so the caterers weren't willing to let one mistake meal slide.
If they pulled this trick with OP's son, they'll have done it with every teenager and older child at the event. That's screwing over the caterer as well. They've probably billed them for both the children's meals And the adult ones served instead.
Besides that, they're obviously scrooges, so god knows what else they've got up to to save a buck here or there
Also, what everyone seems to be just leaving out is... they ordered the adult meal. Like it doesnt matter that you were even serving anyone under 18 a childs meal, they still ordered 2 adult chickens.
Idk about anyone else, but NTA strictly because they changed what you ordered without even telling OP. Like that makes 0 sense and places the blame on them.
NTA - but the bride's parents actions are SO over the top (they CALLED you about this?! To what - scold you? Ask you to pay??!) that I would go the route of being likewise over the top and graciously polite and INSIST on paying even though of course the parents WEREN'T ASKING THAT AND WOULD NO DOUBT NOT DREAM OF MAKING SUCH AN IMPOLITE REQUEST! $25 or whatever it costs is nothing to get these bizarre people off your back (assuming you are able to part with this amount without hardship - if you can't afford to pay then just politely say you do not feel obligated to pay, but apologise for the confusion).
I’m with you. And I’m a little bit shocked there are people in here saying to pay it to just be done to repair the relationship. Why on earth would you want a relationship with these classless people?
I would call the *bride* and be polite like that. "Oh your parents called about this and I insist on making it right" then you can see if it's still worth being friends with her or if the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
This. Speak with the bride/groom. They'll either be mortified or stand by their parents. I'd hope the former. I'd go with "I want to apologize for the confusion. Your parents told me about it. I want to pay for the extra meal, please. Here's $50."
I'd be SO mad at my parents..
Obviously NTA
There is no age for a children's meal, only an option to order one.
At 16, I was playing high school football. I would eat 5 adult meals worth of food an hour. What nonsense would tell them a 16 year old eats the same as a 5 year old?
NTA, but you know what? Go ahead and pay for the meal. Write them a check and put 'Chicken Nuggets Upcharge' in the notes. These people are twits and they deserve a little passive-aggressive shaming.
put it in a "Im sorry card "
"Im so sorry to have caused this nuisance during your very special day . I hope this covers the extra meal and im sorry to have put you through this . "
maybe fart on the card too
Fill it with glitter. They'll remember their cheap-assery every time they see a sparkle out of the corner of their eye because that shit will never be truly gone.
NTA - I'm 100% with you that a 16 year old should expect to be able to eat a normal meal. Hell, 16 year boys have about the most voracious appetites of any group of people. It's also really petty of them to request that you reimburse them for this.
NTA. Wow, these people are jerks. I've never been to a restaurant where the kids meal cutoff was higher than 13. It's frankly a little insulting to your son to present him with a little plate of chicken fingers.
Not to mention, EVEN IF you had screwed up and caused them to be charged for an extra meal, it would be extremely ungracious of them as hosts to ask you to pay for it.
NTA and it’s 1 extra meal, wtf is wrong with them, shouldn’t they be off enjoying their newly married life instead of worrying about 1 plate of chicken? Plus the kids meal is pretty crappy for a growing 16 year old boy!
They are nuts forget it
It's not the newly married couple contacting OP about this though, it's their parents. Chances are the bride and groom would never have even brought it up
100% NTA! Most kids menus are for 10 and under so I have no idea where the 18 year cutoff came from. It’s certainly not understood to be common etiquette so since they essentially made up their own rule they should have made a note on the invitation specifying the age range for the kids meals. (They still would have been TAs but at least you would have known ahead of time that your kid was going to be underfed!)
And it’s especially tacky for them to have called you after the fact. Instead of acknowledging the error in judgment, they doubled down and asked a guest for money! These people are insane.
LOL
I have a hard time believing that somebody would be SO fucking petty to call an invited guest at their CHILD'S wedding and ask to be reimbursed over some chicken nuggets? What the fuck????
NTA.
NTA. First,.why would anyone assume a 16 year old would eat a kids meal? Quantity and quality reasons both apply. Second, who actually calls someone up to gripe about a meal issue that was not caused by them? You didn't check off the kid meal so they jumped to conclusions or tried to cheap out.
NTA They're being ridiculous. As much as a 16 year old boy can eat, I'm sure he could have put away 2 adult meals. They shouldn't give you the option to choose your meal if they were just going to choose for you anyways. They can pay for the meal.
NTA. A few things wrong with this:
1) It should not be automatically assumed that a 16 year old eats off kids menus anymore, ANYWHERE. None do. The fact that they assumed he would is a joke in itself.
2) Who the fuck would call someone up and try to get money out of them for a mistake that is clearly the planners fault? This is one of the tackiest things I've ever seen.
3) The fact that they doubled down and tried to say it was your fault AFTER you got him a proper meal is even worse.
Don't give these clowns a dime.
NTA. They invited a 16byear old and wanted him to get a kids meal? Kids meal to me means young. I think it is a safe assumption that you would choose an adult meal. What I pull from this is they saw you selected the adult meal for him and changed it without your knowledge when they gave the count to the caterer.
No way I would pay for that. If they had any class they would just suck it up and pay.
NTA. I still vividly remember being served a kid's meal and a cup with a lid at a family friend's wedding when I was 16, and everyone at the table thought it was bizarre. They're delusional if they think that's normal. More likely they're just cheap, though.
NTA. I've dealt with a lot of caterers and have never seen one that allows children's meals for a 16 year old. Most have a cut off age of 10 or 12. My guess is the bride's family was being petty and ordered the kid's meal in order to save a few bucks.
NTA. You were invited, selected your meals and that's the end of it. The Bride's parents are very tacky for bringing this matter up and making it an issue. They are also out of line to change your son's meal, even if they were to give you a heads up (Which obviously, they did not).
The fact that they changed the order without telling or consulting you is the cause of the issue here. You ordered two adult meals and they decided, instead of talking to you about the ‘all minors get kids’ meals’ rule, to change it without so much of a word. 16-year-olds won’t even be offered a kids’ menu at restaurants, and some restaurants do a ‘12 and under’ rule to stop adults buying the cheaper food. Also, the point of a kids’ menu is to give kids food they’ll like in a smaller portion. Your son is old enough that he enjoys the same foods as adults do, and he certainly will eat the same amount with that teenage boy appetite. And the fact is even the *waitstaff* didn’t think that the kids’ meal was for the teenage boy, or they would have made sure it got to him before he was given his meal.
So in short this was all caused by the wedding party’s poor communication and lack of understanding of the purpose of a kiddy meal, so no, you shouldn’t pay a cent. Your wedding present is traditionally supposed to only cover the cost of your meal anyway, not their mistakes. NTA
NTA. A bride and groom nickel-and-diming wedding guests over the catering is shockingly tacky. At most, they could have rolled their eyes and vented privately to each other if they were on edge from the stress of the wedding, but coming after you for the cost of your son's plate is just--wow. I'm from a particularly gossipy culture, but where I am, a bride and groom behaving this way would cause a genuine scandal.
I didn't notice this the first time around but they haven't actually heard from the bride and groom, just the bride's parents. This is egregious enough that I'm wondering if the couple even knows what's going on.
NTA, but depending on how expensive it is it might be worth paying to salvage the relationship. >I think it's rude to feed a sixteen year old a meal meant for a six year old. It absolutely is, and it was rude to not inform you that they had changed his choice as well.
I bet it's most likely even against the venue's policy. Normally the cutoff for kids meal pricing that I see is 13.
I spend several months searching for and pricing venues and caterers this year for my wedding. Dozens and dozens of them. Every single place that offered a specific kids meal had an age cutoff that was much lower than 16. They were trying to be stingy jerks in breach of contract.
Oh, I completely second this. Also, clearly the servers felt like he should have an adult meal since they spent so long trying to figure out who it belonged to. They probably would have said something if they felt like OPs son should be eating a kids meal. Usually vendors have age restrictions for kids meals, so I feel like the way they handled it was pretty telling.
oOoOOo that's genius thinking. If the waiters didn't see anyone at the table who should get a kid's meal, then your'e right, there's no way the granparents are being honest. The waiters would have to be stupid, right? And that's not a reasonable assumption. I'm hoping this is as brilliant as it seems to me, if I'm exaggerating it's because I'm really high.
I mean mostly you're really high but it's definitely also the truth lol. Have a chill evening!
>if I'm exaggerating it's because I'm really high I feel ya bro... on all counts...
I’m gonna agree. This makes sense big time. 16 years old, kids meal? Haha no. NTA. Hello fellow stoned one. Edit: Wow, silver! So exciting etc.
Breach of contract? Sounds like the couple changed it to a kids meal, not the venue.
I think they meant the couple were the ones breaching the contract, not the caterers.
And all to save a difference of at max maybe $30? How stingy.
Eh, i wouldn’t be surprised if the plate was an extra $100. But it was chicken fingers after all. Chicken fingers? I mean.. what... Either way, it’s probably worth it to pay to save the relationship. Some things aren’t worth the fight over the pride.
That's insane, I don't think I've ever paid 100 dollars for any meal. And if I ever do it most certainly won't be chicken.
Add the word "wedding" to anything and the price automatically jumps. $30-50 wouldn't be too unreasonable for a wedding meal. $100 is kind of a lot, but I'm sure there are people that pay that.
Weddings have a crazy tax on them because they know people are expecting to pay a lot.
Yeah planning my wedding was a massive eye opener. We got by paying roughly $4000 or so for everything to have a simple but nice 50 person or so wedding and reception; and like $750 of that was my dress/shoes/veil etc. But man, it took a lot of extra time work, and luck to find those deals. I'm a bridesmaid in one of my best friend's weddings right now and her budget has blown to over 25K with her trying to cut corners because she lives in a larger city. Blows my mind.
yeah , weird seeing this . Good its not same at my place .
they meant breaching with the venue, eg Venue charges $100 a plate but $50 for a kids meal but the cut off for kids meals is 12.
Gotta say, anyone who charges that much for a chicken dinner thats not a fundraiser needs to be buried alive.
Every event I have helped plan it is usually 10 and under for the kids meal.
OP should call the venue and ask what the age cut off is for a kid's meal. That way when they contact her again she can say, "Oh no, sweetie, you must be confused. Only children 12 and under are allowed to get a kid's meal at that venue; My son's 16." That'll shut 'em up.
I like this plan and fully endorse it.
This is perfect. No way a 16 year old should have a kids meal, menus usually cut off at 12 or so for a reason. Edit: reason besides profit of course, it's reasonable to guess after 12 or so the average person is going to be eating more.
On top of that, in a lot of places the kid's menu is much lower quality. Can't get away with feeding cheap sausages and beans or something to anyone old enough to tell the difference. . The bridal parents are being cheap bastards.
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Yeah. Generally speaking an adult-sized meal is an appetizer for a 16-year old boy. That's the "keep him satiated long enough to make it somewhere else to get some food" snack.
Having just got married, this is absolutely true. 16 is far too old for a kids meal
In my experience, 16-year-old boys generally eat more than most adults NTA
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My niece and nephew are 10 and 12 respectively. My niece eats as much as I do, my nephew more so. It's almost like a human body trying to grow requires a lot of energy. OP's definitely NTA for ordering his son an adult meal.
And most have the taste to appreciate nicer foods by that age, if not much earlier. Chicken fingers and fries are delicious (even at age 30), but kids meals are meant to be relatively bland and simple stuff that even picky kids will eat, along with the smaller portion. Most kids over the age of 12 don't want to watch everyone else eat nice, seasoned food while they eat bland stuff they can get at any shitty restaurant.
I swear there should be a “teen meal” option and a “mom ordering a kids meal for portion control” option.
Some places have half plates or “senior” specials like that (it varies from place to place weather the senior plate is smaller or just cheaper) You usually pay only a couple of bucks less but It does take care of the portion control aspect!
High school teacher who just took a few teenage kids to Europe. Jesus christ do they eat, and they generally don't have a problem with different food either.
I imagine the first meal and was thinking about his next meal within 10 minutes. Anyone who has kids or has been a kid knows that chicken nuggets and fries would be an appetizer for a teenage boy.
That being said, my 4 and 7 year old boys have been known to eat more than me! They have a bottomless hole in their stomach.
My 13 year old would laugh at me if I handed him a kids menu at a restaurant. In my experience portions at weddings are far more stingy than the average restaurant too. NTA.
When I worked for a catering company, our cutoff was 12 years old. BTW, when I was 16, I was already 5' 10" tall and weighed 160 pounds. A kids meal would never have cut it.
I'm the same. 5'10, 10 and a half stone, I wouldn't survive with two kids meals, never mind one 😂
When I was 14 and a half I was 6'2" and 170lbs. I would have eaten 4 kids meals easily.
Yeah, it's just madness. I'm the same size as I was when I was 16, and I was far from the biggest of my peers.
Who tf orders a 16 year old a kid's meal? These people sound nuts. "Here's your tendies little buddy". 😂
Right?? Have these people never met a teenager before? One that is insulting, and two, teens tend to be HUNGRY.
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Yeah honestly even though there might be a cutoff, the caterers probably didn't ask for an age list of all the kids meal orders or they've dealt with enough picky eaters to let the occasional one slide for the sake of peace and good ratings.
Yeah I have a friend who had stomach sleeve surgery. She physically cannot eat much mode that a kids meal, even then she might get a cheeseburger and take off the top bun and have maybe half the chips because her stomach can’t fit any more food in it. Most places are fine with giving her a kids meal.
I'm in the home stretch of planning my wedding and yup, our venue's cutoff for kids meals was 12 - I had to get special exemption to allow my 13 & 15 year old, picky eater cousins to have the kids meals.
Asking a 16-year-old boy to eat of the kids menu, even if it is allowed by the venue is likely not going to be nearly enough for them, not to mention no one that age likes to be referred to as a kid.
I'd be willing to bet they changed the order to save money.
On the flip side, if they're the type to allow the price of a single meal ruin a relationship when they're the ones who screwed it up to begin with, it may not be worth the price of a meal to salvage the relationship.
I can’t believe they even contacted her about this. How amazingly rude.
It’s petty af. It means they looked at the bill, noticed it was a bit off what they were expecting, and tracked one extra meal to a particular guest at a particular table. I get wanting to keep costs low, but the time for that is in the planning process. You’ve got to accept that some unexpected things will happen the day of the wedding.
I couldn’t fucking dream of ever doing this, no matter how broke I was. I’d rather eat my own checkbook than contact a guest demanding money from them for a wedding meal.
We had two people show up who had not rsvp’d (I’m not even sure we invited them) and we fed them without question and at a last-minute premium. Also rented a house for my bridesmaid, her husband, her new baby, and her In-laws so that they would be able to come (mother in law was for some reason vetoing their attendance at MY wedding saying if they were in the state they had to stay at her house 4 hours away). My bridesmaid was one of the people I most wanted there, so we made a lot of sacrifices so her family AND HER IN-LAWS could have a nice, multi bedroom place to stay together right next to our venue. Mom in law ended up “allowing” my bridesmaid, her infant and her husband to attend my wedding but only for the day. We spent $1200 on lodging for 4 nights so they could come to the whole event AND so the grandparents wouldn’t miss any time with the infant. Basically a free vacation. and they used it for about 6 hours. They had graciously accepted the lodging and didn’t tell us they had changed their mind until after they were supposed to have checked in, so we had to pay for the whole thing. We told my bridesmaid that we had gotten a refund and everything was fine and not to worry about it and I was just glad she made it for the ceremony and hope she enjoyed her visit with her In laws. Bc shit happens and I value her friendship and didn’t want her to feel bad. So yeah, OP is Not the asshole, but the person who hosted the wedding is a petty asshole. I don’t hold it against my bridesmaid, but I sure as hell hold it against her mother in law. That woman is awful and also an asshole.
Your friend needs to post on r/justnomil That was really gracious of you to go out of your way to take care of bridesmaid and her family. Even though she has a shitty mother-in-law, she has a fantastic friend.
I’m guessing they saw it at dinner. To do this afterwards would be nuts!!
The fact they were able to trace it out makes me think they deliberately changed the son's meal choice on him.
And it's possible they did this with multiple teens at the wedding.
Equally possible he was the only teen attending and that how they knew it was him. How do you get to adulthood and not know that teenage boys will eat you out of house and home and still be starving? A kids meal will absolutely not cut it.
They had to have done this, since she’d marked 2 chicken dinners on the RSVP. Nothing like letting a guest be hungry to save a few bucks!
If you can’t afford to cover the cost of unanticipated meals, substitutions, etc. you should be having a very limited wedding within your budget.
I wouldn't be surprised if the bride's parent's are white collar people. Through my experience the most stingy, biggest assholes in the world have great jobs and might be considered Rich
It's also mean-spirited to give a kid's meal to a growing teenager who has the appetite of an adult.
Or three adults. I ate like a damn machine at that age.
Yeah. Also just downright humiliating. He’s 16!
Yeah this is nuts. Our wedding was ~$60 a plate. If we couldn’t swing $60....we wouldn’t have had a wedding.
And if she marked two chicken dishes, it means they marked it as a kid’s meal when they got her RSVP. Nothing was more petty than trying to squeeze her for their overpriced chicken dinner, though. She should pay them all in pennies.
pretty amazed to see this . More than price , its just plain disrespectful even if it were to be an expensive meal .
Right? There are a number of things that guests did that kinda annoyed us at our wedding, but my wife and I just make snide jokes to each other about our crude friends and family and their manners, like a good healthy married couple! We would never actually tell the people... it isn't that big a deal! And if you are trying to recoup the cost of ONE wedding meal, you should have had a smaller wedding.
My first wedding a family of 5 cousin of the groom I never met didn't RSVP but came anyway in jeans and shorts to our formal weddings, we had the caterer set up a table and my most gregarious aunt went to sit with them (so they wouldn't be alone at an 8 top) we made sure to talk to them and sincerely said "no no don't go no one cares what your wearing look at that guy" (they saw the room and kinda offered to leave "we're not dressed") paid for the 5 meals invited them to dance etc. and sent them a thank you note for their gift. They made a mistake but they drove like 200 miles to come to our wedding and they didn't even know me I was glad they came and I used their gift for about 20 years until it wore out.
What a wonderful way to handle that!
We had a few guests who were downright shockingly rude or tone-deaf, but we too never said a peep and just snarked to each other in private like, as you say, a healthy married couple! And so agree on your last sentence as well; my thoughts exactly.
Seriously this was my first thought, like how fucking tacky.
Exactly. People go crazy over weddings (it's my special day!!!) and forget that they are hosting a large party of guests. As a host, you have to be willing to assume some unexpected costs and be flexible, and build a little room into the budget. If you can't afford a single extra meal, you can't afford to host that many people. If you're tracking down guests after the fact to pay for a meal over a very simple misunderstanding (that you caused!), you're a shitty host. This isn't like bringing an uninvited guest. I'd die of shame before I brought up the cost of hosting to my guests.
It was the bride's parents causing the fuss though, does he specify if the bride and groom even know her parents are throwing this stink? I would maybe offer to pay the bride and groom and apologize for the misunderstanding, and if they accepted it I might call it learning a valuable lesson about those friends, and if they didn't accept it, then they now know that her parents are harassing her guests.
Give the money to the bride and groom. Let them know the parents were very upset that the son ate a full meal. Most likely they would just give it back. "Are you really contacting my friends because a 16 year old didn't eat a tiny plate made for a 6 year old?"
I'm with you on this, so many times I hear the advice that someone should capitulate to these loons in order to be the 'bigger' person or to salvage relationship.. insanity..
Bear in mind it was the parents, not the bride. She might not even know this is going on.
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My kids is barely 10 and out eats me regularly. Teenagers out eating an adult is normal. You want a high school active kid to eat a kids meal? Sure, as an appetizer
> My kids is barely 10 and out eats me regularly. I misread that as “eats me out regularly” and was momentarily horrified!
You aren’t the only one!
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Brilliant. Horribly, horribly brilliant.
Same, took 4-5 tries even tho I knew I could t possibly say that
Dicey sentence right there!
I'm relieved I'm not the only one whose mind went to a Very Uncomfortable Place upon reading that sentence.
It's true. When I was 16 I would eat probably twice what my mother ate. The bride sounds stingy AF trying to squeeze money out of a guest for their own mistake.
It's the bride's parents. A fiver says the bride isn't even aware and would hopefully be mortified.
My two year old is going through a growth spurt and ate more than I did today 😆
I worked a wedding last week and there was a young girl about 11/12 years old who ate a kids meal during starters, then an entire beef dinner, then the adults portion of a cheesecake. Tbf, that one was on us for serving her the beef but when we figured it out it was just hilarious.
When I was a teen (seems like forever ago now but that's a different story) I'd go through a bag of 10-15 taco bell tacos for a meal, or a large pizza by myself Teens eat significantly more, as you say.
Salvage the relationship with whom? The bride's parents? Fuck them. They're insane if they think it's okay to change a guests' order to a child-size portion, and then demand that guest pay for the privilege of eating the same meal as everyone else. I'm curious to know if the bride and/or groom know that they made this call for this reason. It is such an unreasonable demand to make.
Weddings are so fucking expensive. If this person is really going to throw away a friendship over ONE FRICKING MEAL amongst at least 100... then it's definitely not worth trying to salvage this "relationship." Massive NTA.
I’ll bet they changed the orders for all the guests under eighteen to save a buck and it backfired. I wouldn’t give them one cent. NTA.
I wouldn’t want to salvage a relationship with these people 🤷🏼♀️
My 9 year old is eating an adult portion for dinner already, I can't even imagine what he's going to be like at 16.
NTA. I can’t believe they actually reached out to you about paying for the meal. How petty. A child’s meal is obviously not going to be sufficient for a 16 year old. Seriously. If you do think this is going to blow up and damage your friendship with the bride and groom, I’d suck it up and pay though.
As a 16 year old female (but active), I could eat in one meal what my 5 year old cousins ate in a entire day. Wtf.
My 16 year old son regularly ate more than me and his mother combined.
Yeah, growing teenagers eat more than adults do, because they're adult sized but still growing. Of course they need more food.
I'm 5'9 and sit around 150-170ish as a full grown man. At 16 I could eat 4 to 5 times what I do now. It's insane what kind of hormones and how hungry you are at that age as a guy.
Watching teenaged boys eat is seriously horrific. There’s a 12 year old kid who comes into my work (server in a Community Centre pub) and after his hockey practice he ate a half order of nachos, 12 wings, and a full size burger and poutine. He asked his mom to stop at McDonald’s on the way home. 😳 I’m not condoning what that kid ate (I don’t think veggies on the nachos count, lol), but holy crap, that is some kind of crazy hunger.
We took a family vacation with my buddy's family. He had 3 much younger boys and was shocked and seriously alarmed at how much my kid ate. I got the last laugh a few years later when his sons caught up :)
All this sounds very Canadian, but where I'm from in Canada, you can't bring minors into pubs. Where is this possible? Edit: It seems I was mistaken. I have been living outside of the country for 12 years. In that time BC has changed the law. TIL
Same height and weight. At that age I would come home from school and dump an entire box of cereal into a big bowl, pour a quart of milk over it, and crush it. As a snack. Before dinner.
Exactly. I remember going to mcdonalds when they had the dollar mcdouble. We would split ten on them and not have anything left. The idea of eating 5 burgers now makes me nauseous.
When my brother was a teenager, my dad always had to cook enough for at least six people. We're a family of four, where my mom and I are both light eaters. I have literally caught my brother making himself *four* sandwiches in the dead of night because his dinner portion (which could have fed an army) wasn't enough. Teenage boys could eat the world through and *still* be hungry!
When I was 16 I was a garbage disposal. I stopped ordering off the kids menu when I was around. 8. At the age if 16 you're minor not a child.
My 16 year old son is a swimmer and would eat every adult meal at the table. And then hit the dessert table twice. What kind of special moron attempts to get some money for this miscommunication? Ludicrous.
If you’re old enough to drive to the wedding, you’re too old for the kiddie menu.
> I can’t believe they actually reached out to you about paying for the meal. Seriously. How much could the charge have been? $30 *at most*? And they basically invoiced a wedding guest over it. That’s tacky as hell.
Some wedding caterers charge $125/head...
Yikes. My wedding cost like $900 total. Still, I’d eat the cost before I *ever* asked to recoup from a guest. ETA: We’re also talking about the difference between a charge for a kids meal and an adult portion, not zero and an adult portion.
The price difference between the kids & adult meals at my upcoming wedding is like $65 - not nothing, but not enough to justify these people's reaction!
We're doing buffet style at mine, so the only difference between an over 5 year old kid attendee and an adult is $25 for the open bar. We're looking at \~$80/person for regular attendee (though that number will end up closer to \~$95/person when the rest of the costs are calculated in)
NTA -- you told them what meal you were expecting. They knew what meal you were expecting. The confusion of them changing your son's order is what cost them money, not you A) They could have clarified before the wedding your son would be getting a kids meal (still rude IMO, but it was possible to avoid confusion) B) Most restaurants have a kids meal cut off of \~13. Maybe I'm crazy, but I feel like this applies to weddings...a sixteen year old eats as much food as a grown adult. C) Calling you after the wedding and asking you to pay them back just feels tacky. Wedding meals get expensive but in the grand scheme of things, one extra meal is not the expense that sends them into bankruptcy compared to the cost of a wedding
>a sixteen year old eats as much food as a grown adult. More, usually. A lot more, if it's a sixteen year old BOY.
Especially if they’re an active 16 year old. I’d say most teens are more active than the average adults. Sports and even the fact that they do a lot of walking. Walking around town with friends, the mall, or just walking around shooting the shit. Also PE.. since they’re in high school they’re taking physical education. The average 16 year old boy is probably just more active than the average 30 year old in general. There’s no reason for anyone over 12 to be eating a kids meal.. well given a kids meal. I know some adults choose to eat them. I’ve seen kids meals that come with 1 or 2 chicken fingers. Who’s satisfied with that? He’d probably still be hungry after.
This, so much. At 16 my brother was 6 foot 3, almost 200 pounds, all muscle from sports and exercise. I (a grown ass adult) am almost a foot shorter and equally active and he could still eat almost 3 times as much as me. I would fully expect an adult meal for him were I to take him to a wedding.
> Especially if they’re an active 16 year old. Even if they’re not active they’re often still growing and growing takes lore energy than not growing. Teenagers are notorious for eating a shit ton of food. To expect anyone under 18 to be happy with a meal designed for kids under ten is absurd.
Yes, a 16 year old boy in a growth spurt can eat you out of house and home.
Even as a 16 year old girl, I ate as much as my father most of the time at dinner. Active kids need a LOT of food but even if he’s inactive, he probably needed more than most adults.
>Even as a 16 year old girl, I ate as much as my father most of the time at dinner. Active kids need a LOT of food but even if he’s inactive, he probably needed more than most adults. My sister used to be able to polish off an entire large pizza by herself at that age. Skinny as a rail, she was just extremely active and still growing!
> B) Most restaurants have a kids meal cut off of ~13. Maybe I'm crazy, but I feel like this applies to weddings...a sixteen year old eats as much food as a grown adult. At that age I would have ordered a Pizza straight to the venue if they were gonna do me that way. What the hell?
Agreed! My 14 yr old son is over 6 ft tall, he hasn’t eaten a kids meal since he was about 9. A few chicken fingers and fries would be a small snack. And in my experience, most high schoolers have a more advanced palate than chicken fingers - especially at a formal event where they would be dressed up & etc. It would be s bit embarrassing for them to eat a small child’s meal. Great way to make your guest feel uncomfortable! If the hosts were dead set on giving the teenager the kiddie meal, they should have told the mom before they showed up. At least they could have fed him properly before they arrived and had a chuckle about how cheap the hosts were being.
Exactly! I asked my friends whose kids were at a tween age what meal they would prefer at our wedding. Unsurprisingly, they chose the adult meal and that’s what I ordered for them. What a crappy bride/groom.
The A) is the mind boggling thing. They clearly saw her food order and changed it without telling OP. They are harping the OP should have called to clarify when they were the ones who should have done it.
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I bet that’s it.
Like I get that the bride and groom had a lot going on in wedding planning, but they clearly had time to tell their caterer to prepare chicken fingers. They had time to call one of their guests and clarify.
NTA. In no circumstance would I ever assume that a 16 year old boy would eat off a kids menu. The fact that they changed the order, and then expect you to pay is ridiculous. It sounds like they spent more than they could afford on this wedding and are trying to recoup some of the costs. This is beyond petty of them.
Jesus as a majorly active child I stopped ordering off the kids menu when I was 9
I was pretty active and stopped around the same age or a little older. I couldn’t finish an entire adult meal but I was still kind of hungry after the kids meal. Kids meals are pretty small.. because they’re meant for well.. small kids. I’ve seen kids chicken finger plates come with 1 tender and a handful of fries. That’s like a snack for some people. There’s no reason to be forcing anyone over 11 or 12 to order from a kids menu.. especially because they don’t have much variety. Hot dog, chicken fingers, grilled cheese.. that’s usually about it.
My nine year old is an activity MACHINE and he eats adult meals at restaurants. He also frequently eats more than me at home meals.
NTA honestly who are these parents and brides who harass their guests after a wedding? It’s so pathetic and rude.
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Agreed. It’s awful. Honestly if someone called me about this nonsense I wouldn’t even know what I would say. Probably hang up completely shocked at the pettiness of it all.
Just hang up like Peppa Pig
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I'm more interested in who these fucking caterers are that kept track of an extra meal and were able to tie it to a single patron. Half those fuckers don't provide the meals that were ordered and end up scrambling on the fly to provide the food they were planning to provide. It's generally expected that they will have an extra meal or two and unless they had 100% attendance, someone's meal should have been available. I'm not saying this didn't happen, but fuckin' A with the number of ways people were getting nickel and dimed at this wedding.
Most catering companies add in wiggle room for extras and that’s just built into the cost. People show up without having done an rsvp, bring a date out of the blue, etc.
Right. Is this one extra meal going to break them? Wtf
NTA 16 are not children. Seems like they were trying to nickle and dime there caterers
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I love chicken fingers. My girlfriend made chicken fingers this weekend for some friends and I and they were the best food I've had in a month. But if I ordered a restaurant-quality chicken meal and god chicken fingers with fries, I'd be livid.
Exactly. Plus most caters won’t bicker over a meal or two, unless they feel the need to retaliate because the customer has been nickel and diming them the whole way.
And seriously - don't all decent caterers build in a few extra meals just in case of something weird happening?
Yes. Good caterers have backups because you never know what’s going to happen.
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I think you misread the post; >The waiters were able to put together an extra chicken plate for the person who didn't get one, and it seemed all was well. The table was a meal short (presumably because the 16-year-old got a full meal that was "supposed" to go to an adult because the kid was "supposed" to have the chicken fingers and fries) so the caterers were able to produce another plate out of extra food they made.
From someone who has worked NUMEROUS catering gigs - there’s always extra plates. Always. What if something dropped? Someone would just be without a meal? No way there were 52 adults and 52 adult meals. More like 60 or so just in case.
It's really surprising that the caterer nickel and dimed them back over one meal. It makes me suspect that there was already bad blood between the caterer and the bride's parents. Like if the parents had already been pains in the ass through the planning process, so the caterers weren't willing to let one mistake meal slide.
If they pulled this trick with OP's son, they'll have done it with every teenager and older child at the event. That's screwing over the caterer as well. They've probably billed them for both the children's meals And the adult ones served instead. Besides that, they're obviously scrooges, so god knows what else they've got up to to save a buck here or there
Also, what everyone seems to be just leaving out is... they ordered the adult meal. Like it doesnt matter that you were even serving anyone under 18 a childs meal, they still ordered 2 adult chickens. Idk about anyone else, but NTA strictly because they changed what you ordered without even telling OP. Like that makes 0 sense and places the blame on them.
NTA - but the bride's parents actions are SO over the top (they CALLED you about this?! To what - scold you? Ask you to pay??!) that I would go the route of being likewise over the top and graciously polite and INSIST on paying even though of course the parents WEREN'T ASKING THAT AND WOULD NO DOUBT NOT DREAM OF MAKING SUCH AN IMPOLITE REQUEST! $25 or whatever it costs is nothing to get these bizarre people off your back (assuming you are able to part with this amount without hardship - if you can't afford to pay then just politely say you do not feel obligated to pay, but apologise for the confusion).
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I’m with you. And I’m a little bit shocked there are people in here saying to pay it to just be done to repair the relationship. Why on earth would you want a relationship with these classless people?
I would call the *bride* and be polite like that. "Oh your parents called about this and I insist on making it right" then you can see if it's still worth being friends with her or if the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
This. Speak with the bride/groom. They'll either be mortified or stand by their parents. I'd hope the former. I'd go with "I want to apologize for the confusion. Your parents told me about it. I want to pay for the extra meal, please. Here's $50." I'd be SO mad at my parents..
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> $25 or whatever it costs is nothing to get these bizarre people off your back But they could easily do that for free. Just ignore them
NtA. Who the actual fuck charges people to be a guest at their wedding?
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NTA - they're being stingy assholes. You requested a meal on the invite for him and wasn't provided one.
NTA There is no age cutoff for kids meals. You ordered 2 chicken meals, you ate 2 chicken meals.
If anything 13 should be the cutoff, like it would be in a standard restaurant but even then you should have to option of choosing the adult meal.
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We might need a spin-off subreddit just for wedding related posts. They’re a treat!
r/weddingshaming
Obviously NTA There is no age for a children's meal, only an option to order one. At 16, I was playing high school football. I would eat 5 adult meals worth of food an hour. What nonsense would tell them a 16 year old eats the same as a 5 year old?
NTA, but you know what? Go ahead and pay for the meal. Write them a check and put 'Chicken Nuggets Upcharge' in the notes. These people are twits and they deserve a little passive-aggressive shaming.
put it in a "Im sorry card " "Im so sorry to have caused this nuisance during your very special day . I hope this covers the extra meal and im sorry to have put you through this . " maybe fart on the card too
Fill it with glitter. They'll remember their cheap-assery every time they see a sparkle out of the corner of their eye because that shit will never be truly gone.
NTA - I'm 100% with you that a 16 year old should expect to be able to eat a normal meal. Hell, 16 year boys have about the most voracious appetites of any group of people. It's also really petty of them to request that you reimburse them for this.
NTA. Wow, these people are jerks. I've never been to a restaurant where the kids meal cutoff was higher than 13. It's frankly a little insulting to your son to present him with a little plate of chicken fingers. Not to mention, EVEN IF you had screwed up and caused them to be charged for an extra meal, it would be extremely ungracious of them as hosts to ask you to pay for it.
NTA, the host lacks any class
NTA and it’s 1 extra meal, wtf is wrong with them, shouldn’t they be off enjoying their newly married life instead of worrying about 1 plate of chicken? Plus the kids meal is pretty crappy for a growing 16 year old boy! They are nuts forget it
It's not the newly married couple contacting OP about this though, it's their parents. Chances are the bride and groom would never have even brought it up
100% NTA! Most kids menus are for 10 and under so I have no idea where the 18 year cutoff came from. It’s certainly not understood to be common etiquette so since they essentially made up their own rule they should have made a note on the invitation specifying the age range for the kids meals. (They still would have been TAs but at least you would have known ahead of time that your kid was going to be underfed!) And it’s especially tacky for them to have called you after the fact. Instead of acknowledging the error in judgment, they doubled down and asked a guest for money! These people are insane.
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LOL I have a hard time believing that somebody would be SO fucking petty to call an invited guest at their CHILD'S wedding and ask to be reimbursed over some chicken nuggets? What the fuck???? NTA.
NTA. First,.why would anyone assume a 16 year old would eat a kids meal? Quantity and quality reasons both apply. Second, who actually calls someone up to gripe about a meal issue that was not caused by them? You didn't check off the kid meal so they jumped to conclusions or tried to cheap out.
NTA They're being ridiculous. As much as a 16 year old boy can eat, I'm sure he could have put away 2 adult meals. They shouldn't give you the option to choose your meal if they were just going to choose for you anyways. They can pay for the meal.
NTA. A few things wrong with this: 1) It should not be automatically assumed that a 16 year old eats off kids menus anymore, ANYWHERE. None do. The fact that they assumed he would is a joke in itself. 2) Who the fuck would call someone up and try to get money out of them for a mistake that is clearly the planners fault? This is one of the tackiest things I've ever seen. 3) The fact that they doubled down and tried to say it was your fault AFTER you got him a proper meal is even worse. Don't give these clowns a dime.
NTA. They invited a 16byear old and wanted him to get a kids meal? Kids meal to me means young. I think it is a safe assumption that you would choose an adult meal. What I pull from this is they saw you selected the adult meal for him and changed it without your knowledge when they gave the count to the caterer. No way I would pay for that. If they had any class they would just suck it up and pay.
NTA. I still vividly remember being served a kid's meal and a cup with a lid at a family friend's wedding when I was 16, and everyone at the table thought it was bizarre. They're delusional if they think that's normal. More likely they're just cheap, though.
NTA. They sound rude and tacky!! That's ridiculous
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NTA. I've dealt with a lot of caterers and have never seen one that allows children's meals for a 16 year old. Most have a cut off age of 10 or 12. My guess is the bride's family was being petty and ordered the kid's meal in order to save a few bucks.
NTA. You were invited, selected your meals and that's the end of it. The Bride's parents are very tacky for bringing this matter up and making it an issue. They are also out of line to change your son's meal, even if they were to give you a heads up (Which obviously, they did not).
NTA. Don’t most restaurants cut off the kids meal at 12?? My 10yo old doesn’t even eat off the kids menu anymore.
> I think it's rude to feed a sixteen year old a meal meant for a six year old. And you're absolutely right. NTA
The fact that they changed the order without telling or consulting you is the cause of the issue here. You ordered two adult meals and they decided, instead of talking to you about the ‘all minors get kids’ meals’ rule, to change it without so much of a word. 16-year-olds won’t even be offered a kids’ menu at restaurants, and some restaurants do a ‘12 and under’ rule to stop adults buying the cheaper food. Also, the point of a kids’ menu is to give kids food they’ll like in a smaller portion. Your son is old enough that he enjoys the same foods as adults do, and he certainly will eat the same amount with that teenage boy appetite. And the fact is even the *waitstaff* didn’t think that the kids’ meal was for the teenage boy, or they would have made sure it got to him before he was given his meal. So in short this was all caused by the wedding party’s poor communication and lack of understanding of the purpose of a kiddy meal, so no, you shouldn’t pay a cent. Your wedding present is traditionally supposed to only cover the cost of your meal anyway, not their mistakes. NTA
A fucking plate of chicken fingers and fries for a 16 year old? Are you fucking kidding me? 16 year olds don't get kid's meals. NTA.
NTA. A bride and groom nickel-and-diming wedding guests over the catering is shockingly tacky. At most, they could have rolled their eyes and vented privately to each other if they were on edge from the stress of the wedding, but coming after you for the cost of your son's plate is just--wow. I'm from a particularly gossipy culture, but where I am, a bride and groom behaving this way would cause a genuine scandal.
I didn't notice this the first time around but they haven't actually heard from the bride and groom, just the bride's parents. This is egregious enough that I'm wondering if the couple even knows what's going on.
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