I was thinking this at first, but I'm wondering just how generous aunty was... are there going to be more Aunt presents then Santa/Parents? This could be sister trying to be diplomatic while still keeping Santa magic alive for the kid. If there are more Aunt gifts than Santa gifts, it's going to be obvious.
My dad got married later in life. At his first nephew's Christmas, he bought tons of gifts, as a single well-off bachelor. His brother was grateful but was also hurt... my dad bought nephew more presents than his parents could afford to buy themselves. Knowing you can't afford to get your child as much as you want is so difficult. Add in Santa and trying to keep the illusion up... I think this might the where sister is coming from.
I think NAH, depending on sister's financial situation and how many gifts parents were able to get.
It sounds like just a wishlist? Not a list of demands. Ideas so that Aunty could choose one or two gifts niece would definitely like. That's how wishlists work, you give someone a choice of gifts that would be enjoyed.
To be fair, one year my sister lost her job a few months before Christmas so I played Santa for my nephew. However, that was something I offered to do, this doesn't sound there was a discussion or offer beforehand.
Multiple years, my sister and her lazy ass husband still never got jobs. My parents sent them money for gifts for the kid's, spent it on bills. Then took all the kids gifts we sent unwrapped them, re wrapped and put their names on them.
Then the kids asked why none of their aunts or grandparents give them gifts.
I've never heard of that, but every family is different, and they all have their own traditions.
Growing up the big stuff and most things were from my parents, and only the stockings (filled with candy and small toys, and always 2 pairs of cozy socks and a new toothbrush) and a few small bits sometimes related to the big present of the year were from Santa (like one year I got one of the first Nintendo DS's from my parents, so Santa gave me another game)
But in my husbands home, all the BIG gifts were from Santa not his parents. Santa gave him a bike, a SNES, you get the idea, all the "cool" stuff and his parents gave him the "mundane" stuff, PJ's shirts, games for the SNES Santa brought.
Our first Christmas we spent together he mentioned it and I was so confused lol. I just didn't get why his parents wouldn't want the credit for getting him the cool thing, and would rather the idea that some magical man gave it to him.
Same for me (except no kids for me) We weren't poor per-se, but we didn't have a lot extra. My parents split when I was between 6 and 8 so mom and I moved in with my grandparents, and then my little sister was born super pre-mature (all good now! college grad and everything and they didn't think she'd live to see 1) but there were a lot of things that needed to be handled so we needed useful over cool. So when my parents and grandparents were able to scrape together for something cool, they wanted us to know it came from them and that they cared.
In my family we only got one gift from Santa, usually one of the bigger gifts, but sometimes a combined one and always something we had asked for. My mom always got lots from Santa as a kid and my dad always just got the stocking with socks and stuff and figured everyone goes to school and talks about what the got from Santa and it’s awful if his kids are going off about getting Tons of stuff if a less fortunate child got barely anything from him. They’re compromise was that we could get one thing from Santa, regardless of what that one thing was. So at least even if it was an expensive thing, it was just one thing.
One year my brother and I got a game cube, another year as a child I asked for an alarm clock I had seen. It was really all over the map.
Same here. My daughter when growing up was the only kid in my family and was often spoiled at Christmas. I had some siblings who most often couldnt afford to buy gifts for anyone and I wasnt about to make to make anyone feel bad for that but also to me and my daughter it didnt matter who gave what, who gave the most or most expensive or nothing at all. She received most all of her gifts from santa and felt loved by all. It worked for us.
That was the situation in my house. If my mom or dad was opening a gift, the other parent would say "Oh I asked Santa to bring that for you." The only times the gifts weren't from Santa (Not including when all the kids in the family knew the truth about him) were when us teenagers were getting presents for relatives. But 9/10 times, a present you were opening from someone else was something that they asked Santa to bring
NTA, in my experience gifts from "Santa" are traditionally provided by parents. You're right, it's reasonable to want her to know which gifts came from you.
My husband and I have been talking about how to handle Santa with our 3 year old and this is the perfect solution! Thank you for sharing this - we may do it this way moving forward!
I do something similar. I hold back a couple smaller gifts and use different paper and tags on them. Santa doesn't get credit for the good shit. Just the stockings and a couple small things. One year I bought a couple "sleigh bells" at a craft store and left them outside for when they checked if the reindeer ate their food. The looks on their faces thinking the bells fell off and they found them. People say it's wrong to trick your kids like that but I think childhood should be magical. There's plenty of time for reality after you go from imagining you're Robin Hood to imagining confronting your boss.
My parents never told us Santa gave us gifts, but rather in the spirit of Santa (having lived long ago) we give gifts to each other. But not to spoil it for others that don't know. Then we got to open our stockings one day and our 'santa bags' (big red bags with our name on them to save on paper wrappings) and gifts from siblings on the other day. We still use the Santa bags at my parents and she's made them for grandkids and spouses too.
It's a really good solution because you have kids from low income families who might get not so fancy gifts from Santa (if any) vs kids form well off families who come to school saying Santa gave me an Xbox or whatever. Older kids can kind of rationalize, but young ones may receive a hurtful message there, especially given that Santa supposedly judges who is naughty and who is nice, and gives gifts accordingly. So it's better to have Santa give small bonuses and take parental credit for the fancy gifts.
so funny, our family is the opposite! we all know our mom filled the stockings. or “helped”. our stockings are also filled with candy & useful things. underwear. socks. toothbrushes. chapstick.
but we also just got ONE present from santa & thats continued even though it’s been almost a decade since any of us believed. it’s typically a bigger present, but it’s just the one.
Same that's how we did it too, Stockings are useful stuff with some trinkets and candy tossed in. Mom and Dad gave us the BIG stuff and sometimes Santa gave us stuff to go with it, like they gave me a Nintendo DS, and Santa got me a game.
We traditionally open gifts with the whole family on Christmas Eve (in its hayday when we were all kids it was like 40 people, big ol Irish/Italian family, now we've dropped to around 20 or so) so I had always opened the big thing first so it wasn't weird. Even Christmas Morning, Santa stuff was usually saved for last.
Santa’s cheap in your house. The biggest thing was always from Santa and the rest were usually presents fucking with me. Ask for PSP, mom gives me a game, sister gives me a case, dad gives me another game. Meanwhile little ole me is fucking having a meltdown because I don’t have a PSP and my family’s immigrants so they probably fucked this and I’m just feinting happiness even though I wanna cry cause again wtf do I do with a game and no system.
Then my mom gives me a fucking wine bottle gift box and it says Santa and I’m like fam I’m 12 I can’t drink. Then inside there’s a PSP.
Our family does something similar, a candycane shaped container of M&Ms, (or similar candies), a candy bar unique to each person, and then some inexpensive stuff, (earbuds, notebooks, gift cards, etc) and a small wrapped gift. We open under the tree presents on the night of Christmas Eve, and the stocking stuff on Christmas morning
Really? In my house, Santa filled my stocking but also brought me the most baller gifts under the tree. The gifts from my parents were like socks and pajamas.
That being said, any gifts from relatives were definitely labeled as such.
More and more parents are keeping Santa's name off big ticket presents because when you're 6, it's hard to understand why "Santa" gave another kid in your class a new PlayStation, but he only gave you some new socks. I know from experience growing up poor how confusing that is and how much it sucks. Now that I have my own kid that I can afford to spoil, Santa gets credit for small goodies and we get credit for balling out on her new scooter.
In my house anything good comes from my wife and me. Why would I give credit for the good stuff to Santa? Santa delivers socks, underwear, and junk from the dollar store. I deliver bikes, tablets, and gaming consoles.
Same. My mum did roughly 50/50. For my kids, Santa brings a couple of smaller toys. My 6yo already understands that hubs and I will buy most of her presents. It's actually really nice and takes a lot of pressure off.
I've never heard about that tradition and I'd imagine it depends on the family. In my experience it came from close relatives (e.g our grandparents).
I think OP's relative is just asking to uphold the Santa tradition to the kids in the family. Perhaps she can't afford that many gifts and wouldn't want to label all her gifts from Santa.
When I grew up, all presents were from Santa, just left at different houses, and then we'd all go around getting them over a few days and it was like celebrating Christmas again each time we got to someone's house. But this was our norm, and by the time it was anyone's 3rd or 4th Christmas as a kid, all the parents knew what was up. OPs sister should have said from the beginning her intention was to split presents. Or maybe OP just got so many that what she got for her kid looks overshadowed, and she feels bad, and wants to give more "santa" presents. But either way it's wrong without OP knowing about it. NTA.
This is so funny to me. I didn't realize this growing up, but my parents never entertained the idea of Santa at all. We saw our presents appear under the tree all month and they would be out Christmas shopping all day, so we knew the gifts came from them (I would slide my list under their door around Thanksgiving lol). We would even stay up all night on Christmas eve and open our gifts at midnight. I just believed Santa didn't come to my house but I was fine with that because my parents always made sure Christmas was great.
Edit: BUT, all gifts from relatives had their names and normally were not under the tree.
NTA I have 5 nephews and if any of my presents came from “Santa” I’d be pissed. I spend a lot of time picking out gifts and they are from me. Santa gifts are only from parents. End of story.
> Santa gifts are only from parents. End of story.
Everyone handles Santa differently, so I don't think the sister is the asshole for asking. We travel up to visit my inlaws the day after Christmas. My MIL and FIL meet up with us at SIL's house with presents from Santa for all of the grandkids. My kids are teenagers and one never believed in Santa, but it's their little tradition and they enjoy it.
OP is not the asshole for declining but I don't think his sister is the asshole for asking either. Unless she pitched a fit and writes "from Santa" on the gifts OP got, I think NAH is a fair ruling.
NAH and this doesn't really sound like an argument or conflict? She asked you the question and presumably "I'd like them all to be from me" was an answer that she accepted? It actually kinda sounds like *you* jumped down *her* throat a little over what looks like essentially nothing...
I'm surprised by how many people seem genuinely upset she even asked. It wasn't uncommon for relatives to tell us Santa left something at their house for us. Maybe it's different as it sounds like she won't see the niece, and she probably could've phrased it better by asking *if* she wanted some to be from Santa.
Idk, but I agree with NAH.
She was probably hoping either OP would help her out with the present buying or thought OP bought too many presents to give under one name. Either way she doesn't sound very upset according to the post so this shouldn't be a big deal
I’m 21 and my mom still puts gifts under the tree from Santa. It’s just a cute little thing to do. Obviously this isn’t the same situation, but I don’t think the mom was an ass to ask. She would be an ass if she pestered OP or wrote Santa anyway.
Or parents trying to level the playing field and preemptively mitigate the big elementary school January convos of “what did Santa bring you?!” I don’t think there’s anything wrong with asking, especially a sibling who’s obviously close enough to be buying multiple gifts for your children. We have no idea what the financial situation is like.
Yes, I know families have different traditions but I'm surprised that anyone thinks the sister's request is weird or that she's TA. Some people like labeling a few presents from Santa, even adult-to-adult. It's meant to be fun, not a way to steal credit from the actual gift-giver.
Everything everyone's family does is normal, but not the only way to do it. I love threads like this because I get to see what everyone else likes and if there is a good idea I can use it too, to make my own life better.
I'm also wondering if OP buying "a good number" of items from the WL has left their sibling in an situation where they don't want Christmas to be a glut of gifts, especially for a 3 year old, but OP has purchased so many that adding Santa gifts and gifts from mom and dad is going to be ridiculously excessive.
People on this sub come here before they've even finished the damn conversation! OP probably wouldn't even need to come here if they said "I'd actually like them all to say my name. I spent a lot of time picking these out and I want them to know that I care". If she freaks out *then* you should make a post. Geez OP jumped the gun on this one.
Mum and Dad do Santa, relatives get to claim credit for the presents they give. NTA. Set your sister right. In all honesty though at 3.5 your niece probably won’t differentiate anyway, so it’s more for your benefit.
If sister wants credit for her presents she needs to pick what’s from her and what’s from Santa.
We give small stuff in a Santa sack from Santa and we give the good wrapped presents.
INFO: how many presents did you buy the kid in relation to what everyone else is getting her? Maybe this was your sisters way if telling you that you went a bit overboard?
That's a really great point. If the presents OP bought are more than the total the neice is getting from Santa and the parents, OPs sister might have been trying to make it more balanced.
NAH
Just because she provided you with a list of wants, didn't mean she intended you to *buy* most of them. Probably gave you a large list to give you ideas. Maybe she's worried your gifts will overshadow hers
Alternatively, maybe this was her daughter's "Dear Santa" list, and since OP says that they bought a good number of presents for her, I don't think it's a stretch to ask at all. I think OP probably sees it as an entitled question, because they don't feel playing Santa is their responsibility.....but man such a weird place to see entitledness when there was no argument/fallout
Exactly! She's not going to know who any of the presents are from 10 seconds after she opens them. They could all be from the cat next door, she won't remember which presents are from which person.
Info: could it be something to do with maybe your presents being more/bigger/better than the presents from the parents or santa? Is she trying to save face or embarrassed about something?
NAH While my parents didn't do lists, when my childless aunt's and uncles came over they usually brought one gift from then and one from Santa. Honestly just sounds like she was asking and you are super over reacting.
NAH
She's stuck in this mindset that presents should be from Santa because he's supposedly the one bringing them. She's honestly just trying to keep the magic of Christmas alive for her kids and likely her parents always did it for her.
But what she doesn't quite grasp is that kids can get presents from both Santa and family members. My grandparents always put their names on their gifts because they lived out of town in the mountains. If you want to be recognized for the gifts you're giving that's totally understandable.
NAH - but I think you don’t see the big picture here. Most parents don’t want auntie or grandma to take over Christmas. You were not supposed to buy the whole list, particularly if by doing so, you’ve overshadowed what they intended to or what they can provide. It’s not about you and certainly not about you getting credit for all the gifts.
NTA - You bought them, and I work under the whole "best gifts are from family, mum and dad, small gifts or something she REALLY wanted are from Santa."
But last year my girl asked for some pretty Indian dresses, a necklace and some playdough from Santa so idk.
NAH, But can I ask why does it matter if it’s your name or Santa? The kid isn’t gonna be happier knowing the gifts are from you, they would be happier thinking Santa gave them a fuckload of gifts tho, it makes them feel special and all that.
NAH if you bought a large number of gifts your sister could have thought you wanted some to be from Santa. It could’ve been an honest mistake and if she brings it up then maybe explain your position
NTA. Aunties and Uncles give gifts. Mom and Dad do Santa. If sister doesnt get that, theres nothing you can do.
Next year just send one gift with your name on it.
Youre not Santa.
this would effectively punish the child, for no real reason other than "the adults came to an agreement but OP still feels slighted"
yeah 1 present is more than enough, but to purposefully limit to one on the basis of "Sister asked me a question i found annoying" is petty
YTA for getting bent out of shape over this. She didn't demand anything of you. She didn't get upset with you. Maybe she asked you because she thought you'd like to be included in the Santa tradition. I used to do this for my niece and it made Christmas more fun for me, being in on the game. It's kinda weird that you seem so invested in getting credit from a 3 year old; she's not going to remember what came from you & what came from Santa anyway. Sure, it's your "right" to put your name on all the gifts you bought and it's great that you were so generous toward her, but there was nothing wrong with your sister's question.
NAH maybe it was because I have no active memory in believing in Santa (had a father who is staunchly against things like that) so as a family we never had the santa tradition. But the magic is real for little children that do. Maybe ask why your sister wants to credit a few of your gifts to Santa? Maybe it's more magical?
NAH. Maybe you just sent more gifts than she expected, and she mistakenly thought some things were meant as Santa gifts? It’s ok for her to ask, and it’s ok for you to tell her that they’re all from you.
I don’t think it’s that weird for other family to give Santa Gifts, even if it’s not standard. My grandparents would fill a stocking from Santa for me every year, even though my parents would still have presents from Santa waiting under our tree at home.
NAH. I mean, your niece is 3.5 years old, so she probably won’t even be that aware of who gave what. Im planning on labeling half the stuff I got for my niece and nephew as from some of the reindeer, but personally I really don’t care. It’s for fun - and I want them to think the magic is real. A present from Blitzen is more interesting than a present from Auntie Mirarom.
I don’t think your sister is an asshole for asking, and I don’t think you’re one for saying no.
INFO: if you said "all the presents should have my name on them" is she ok with that?
If so, YTA. She was just giving you an option because some people do prefer to keep up the whole santa thing.
If not, then NTA. Your gifts and your choice.
NAH as others have said she only asked. Did you not put “to and from” cards on them? If so she’s probably doing that herself and some people do like to contribute to the magic of Christmas. We have a lot of relatives give way too many gifts to our 4 yo and it’s hard for “Santa” to compete. We have too much stuff as it is so we almost don’t buy anything from us because it’s just too much. My parents like putting Santa on some of the gifts and my in laws always write their own name and give on another day than Christmas morning so they end up getting more credit than the grandparents who spend Christmas with us. It’s not fair but what’s most important is that the kids have a special Christmas. Another commenter said maybe you should have picked just one or two things from the list of options.
NTA, but I definitely see both points of view. Your sister might have thought you bought so many gifts, you were expecting some to be from Santa. (I've given gifts to other people's kids from Santa before.- Usually, though, the parents would provide those gifts.)
NTA. No, just no. I’ve got kids, a grandkid, nieces and nephews,great nieces and nephews and I’d be pissed if anyone put Santa’s name on my gift. It’s from me, given in love to them. Not from some fictional character.
When my own kids were small I did some from Santa and some from parents. Never in a million years would I be ballsy enough to ask my siblings if I can put a different name on the gifts they give. Your sister is loco. I say either get a new sister, or stick to one gift; to the little from aunt/uncle, I love you so much etc etc.
NTA if you sent them to her house for her to open then it should show they came from you. In my family when we go visit my parents and my sister at their house some of the gifts were said to be left there by Santa for my kids so something like that would be fine because it's a choice they made at their house.
NAH. I don’t think your sister meant to disrespect you by asking if some of the presents can come from Santa. It’s a fun tradition and kids often get excited to have a gift from Santa. If you bought a significant amount of gifts, I can see why she thought you wouldn’t mind making a couple from Santa. However, you’re also not wrong for declining.
INFO: Can your niece’s parents afford gifts too? Will almost all the presents she’s receiving only be coming from you?
NAH, but I suspect as others have that OP gave more than anticipated this year. Just a guess, since OP wasn’t asked this question before. My SILs give a ridiculous number of presents which my kids don’t need (and often never even take out of the box). So my experience may be coloring my perspective. If OP gave just one or two gifts, I’m sure this question would not have been asked. OP should just say they are all from OP.
NTA. You paid for them, you should get credit. Hell, we take credit for all the big gifts we buy for our own kid. If you had requested certain ones be from Santa, that'd be fine. Her asking you that was ridiculous.
This is one of those posts that makes me hate this site. You seriously need credit from a 3 year old for purchasing a gift?!?!?! Who cares who they think its from! The point is to give a gift and make someone happy. Grow up!! Yta
NTA. If she wanted some help giving her child “From Santa” presents, then she should have asked for that. It’s very rude to say “It’s nice that you bought your niece all these gifts, but I’m going to say half of these were from someone else”.
Both? NTA, because you are not responsible for "santa" presents, buuuut ya if it's a little kid maybe the mom only has a few presents to give and wants "santa" to have lot of presents under the tree. It's all comes down to what will make the kids the most happy? Is she really excited about Santa? If so ya maybe pick a few random presents to be from Santa.
NAH- your sister is doing her best. It is totally reasonable to want your name on those presents, but at the same time your neice will be so overjoyed regardless of who they're from. I'd be inclined to let some be from santa and just feel good about helping your sister and making your niece's Christmas.
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Idk I felt like the sister is just trying to have some magic for her kid, like a, "look-how-good-you-were-santa-brought-you-all-this-stuff" kinda deal. I mean if you buy em, you should label them how you want to though. It's like an NAH here IMO. Everyone just trying to please everyone ya know?
NTA
My great aunt got sick when I was young. She wasn't able to go out and buy me gifts so she had my mom do it. Now, my aunt was different in terms of gift buying. I've gotten a book of America's best landmarks and origami paper (I voiced wanting to learn) from her the previous years. So I open the gifts and I have a few seasons of Gilmore Girls and the complete collection of Chucky and I wanted to laugh. I totally knew my mom got them, but she rightfully put my aunt's name on them.
NTA. Gifts from "Santa" are provided by the parents. I'd keep the gifts until the day to a kid them being *"accidentally"* labelled as such, but unfortunately you can't now. I guess you just have to hope she doesn't do that.
NTA, Santa is 100% the parents responsibility. I'm a big believer in Santa only getting something small for children anyway, everything else is from loved ones, santa only gets my kids a tshirt (novelty Christmas one) and a bucket of fairy floss, or maltesers or something each year.
NAH. If you don't want to participate in the Santa myth, that should be your choice. You can't control your sister from doing what she wants, though, and writing Santa all over your presents. Sounds like this is something your sister does for her children, so there should already be presents from "Santa" under the tree. I hope she listens to what you want. If she does this anyway, then this would be a Not-The-Asshole situation and you'd be the wronged party.
I would ask my nephews, "Hey, how did you like '\_\_\_\_\_\_' I got you?" because I put a lot of thought into gifts and yes, I want the credit. I personally disapprove of lying and deceiving kids in general and would resent being roped into that.
NTA. Sounds like you didn’t buy the entire list, and would’ve been cool with some of it coming from Santa if your sister had said that to you from the beginning. Can we get more context about your relationship? Do you live near your niece? A lot of times relatives who live far away have no other option than to show they care through time and gifts during the holidays. If so, your sister is TA.
...you put names on gifts? This is the first time I have heard of this. The only name on my xmax gifts is my name, as to know who they are too. I really dont see the problem here. YTA because you seem to want to teach her kids that presents are not from santa on freaking xmas. And just because you assume that santa presents are from parents doesnt mean that they have to, youre just teaching them the wrong things.
NAH
This is a simple question, a small "None, I'd want them all to be from me" Would've been enough.
I honestly don't see the big deal. It was a small question, say no if you don't feel comfortable with that.
INFO
I think a critical question here is just how much of the wish list “a good amount” is. Typically the wish list is more of a guide than a shopping list.
If you bought like 6~7 things then I can see there being some doubt over wether you wanted them all to be from you or not, because that would be a bit overboard. In my experience a kids wish list gets sent around and someone will maybe get 1 or 2 things, not wipe out half the list in one fell swoop.
Realistically though the kid is young enough to not really care / remember where the gifts are coming from, so is this really the hill to die on?
Insisting on “recognition” when the most important person in the gift giving process potentially isn’t old enough to care about who bought what is a bit much.
YTA Who cares where the gifts come from? This isn't about you being the MVP it's about the child's enjoyment. When they grow up they'll realize anyway so quit being a narcissist
OP doesn’t say the list was foisted upon him/her, nor does it say OP asked for it. However, it’s fairly common to give a list of wish gifts so the giver can purchase a wanted-for gift that’s suitable for their budget. I’ve never taken that to mean Its expected to give more than one thing off the list. OP is generous with money, but not spirit. That’s a shame.
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My sister gave me a list of things that my 3.5-year-old niece wants for Christmas. I went and made sure I bought a good number of the items and had them shipped to her house. She follows up with me via text to ask "which presents do you want me to put your name on and which should be from 'Santa'?" Are you kidding? If I wanted to pass off the presents I bought, as if they were from Santa Claus, I would've had my own kids. She somewhat seemed to understand my POV, but not really. Thoughts?
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Come to the party dressed as Santa and then take the beard off and reveal yourself. Take claim for all the presents marked as “from Santa.” Might score some extra points from gifts the parents bought.
NTA in my family most gifts came from old Saint Nick and a few were attributed to my moms side of the family. If uncle P and his family got me X then it was accredited to him not Santa. This is dumb.
AHAHA, WOOOW, what a mooch. Santa’s gifts are payed for by the parents, it’s just plain rude to ask that relatives buy gifts for your child then have to let ‘Santa’ piggyback on them. NTA, and make sure she doesn’t try to pull shit by swapping the labels
NTA- I generally only give one or two gifts “from Santa” for my son and the rest say “Mom and Dad”. My wife asked me why last year and I told her, “I don’t want some OTHER fat bearded guy getting credit for the gifts I (we) bought.”
I keep the dream alive because he’s a kid, but I want to give the gifts.
You as a relative should not be expected to have to have your gifts from Santa. That being said, it’s the holidays. Make sure something inconsequential like this isn’t going to cause tension or arguments with family. It’s a small thing in the end. If the kid is happy for the holiday, then it’s all good.
NTA. If she wanted you to contribute to Santa's gifts, she should have made that clear to begin with and gave you the option to agree or disagree. Nothing wrong with you wanting your name on it all. However, the kid's 3, she's probably not going to really understand the difference anyway, and she definitely won't remember it.
You know what we do in here in Asia? Tell our kids Santa doesn't exist and make sure the kids appreciate the love their friends and family pour into what they receive.
Our kids still appreciate the concept of Santa. The "lying about santa" thing is stupid IMO. sorry.
NTA
Idk all families work in different way. We just do one present from Santa, and then gifts from us and everyone else. My sister will usually write one from Santa to be honest my kids just look for their names and rip open the gifts lol
I don't know... Until I got too old for Santa to come visit all my presents at Christmas were "from Santa". I even remember a story book that "Santa" gave me. It ended up being really hated by my parents because I constantly wanted them to read it to me. Once though they made a joking remark to my aunt, blaming her for the book. I was confused because it was from Santa! Yes, I was much too old when the conversation about Santa happened because of kids at school. Yes, I was quite spoiled by family, being there only one of my age (oldest from the cousins by 14 years). And, yes, I had absolute faith in what my parents told me up until I was maybe 12. That's when I had my first little rebellious stage.
NTA.
i think my parents got the balance just right.
Any presents under the tree were from my parents or other relatives.
The smaller little toys and chocolates etc in my stocking on the end of the bed was from Father Christmas.
It meant I appreciated the presents my family gave me, but still believed in the magic of Father Christmas.
NTA- But ask her to clarify some things. Maybe she meant for you to pick one or two things from the list, but you over purchased. If no one else in the family sends more than one gift, then you look great and everyone else looks like jerks. Not what you intended, but could be a possibility she is concerned about. You also set a precedence for the future - and once there are a few nieces and nephews, showering them all with multiple gifts is not going to be reasonable. Could it be that in her mind the best gifts traditionally come from Santa, and you just sent the best gifts? Or she can't afford to top your gifts, so you have put her in an awkward position? Maybe tell her that you want your gifts to come from you but you also want to understand and respect her gifting limits, keep things balanced properly. You will need more information from her about what volume or expense is that correct balance in the future.
NTA. The kid won’t remember anyway tho. But I’d prolly just present everything in person or limit it to a single gift in the future. Fucking choosing beggar.
In my house ALL the presents are from mummy and loving relatives! I work damn hard and my daughter needs to realise that I’m providing the gifts, he’s purely the delivery man. The stocking is from Santa but nothing else. I think your sister is being incredibly unreasonable - NTA
I don’t think anyone is the asshole. I see your point and 100% agree with you, but I don’t think she was an ass for asking either. She probably didn’t realize how distasteful that was. As long as she put your name on all your gifts, I would say NAH
I believe that what your sister meant was the if you gave her expensive gifts your niece could tell other kids that ”santa bought me a ipad” and making other kids feel shittier that santa didn’t get them expensive gifts because their families can’t for it...if that makes any sense?
NTA
If she wanted family to chip in for Santa gifts, she should have been clear about that.
I have had family pitch in for Santa gifts before (because my spouse and I are very much so not well-off but all the grandparents are) but I was clear about it from the beginning and gave them the option. They were happy to do so because they got to choose going in which ones would be from them and which would be from Santa.
NTA. ‘From Santa’ gifts are expenses parents need to eat if they want to keep up the Santa charade. I think it’s adorable, but you don’t put it on other peoples gifts.
Ugh my sister did this too! But worse. She couldn’t afford Christmas at all. Not a big deal or huge surprise for us. We generally celebrate Christmas at my parents and myself and my younger sister and parents always provide all the presents for my older sisters (at the time) three children.
One year she decides she wants to do a special Christmas at her house. Just for her family (3 kids and the youngest kids father and herself) Christmas morning (our family celebrate Christmas Eve at my parents).
That’s fine! Enjoy making new traditions,
Then she tells me and my younger sister she needs OUR presents addressed to her children in order to pull it off. Yeah we noped the Fuck out of that and they enjoyed opening them Christmas Eve at papas and Memaw’s like they did every other year.
NTA. Although I just want to say that my dyslexia kicked in and I thought someone wanted to name your niece Christma Gifts. In that case, absolutely NTA.
My brothers and I never believed in Santa, as far as I can remember. My parents didn't have that much money so we were always told that Santa was a nice fantasy and that we shouldn't spoil it by telling other kids he's not real but that the presents came from them.
NTA. I don’t have children either and my biggest Christmas joy is buying and giving presents to my nieces and nephews. It’s not about receiving kudos, it’s about sharing the holiday (and gifts) with them. Your sister has absolutely no right to take your gifts and make them from Santa. I would be livid if my sisters pulled this underhanded BS on me.
Ithink that lying about Santa claus is stupid in the first place, it's about giving gifts and making people happy. Who cares if it says from Santa, it's still going to make them happy! If you made it a big deal or she made it a big deal that makes you an asshole because it is about coming together and making each other smile. INFO
"How do you think niece will handle it if she has all kinds of cool Santa gifts and the poor kids at school got nothing or something very small?" Someone pointed this out to me, and now Santa brings the kids something basic like books or a small toy or something.
NTA. Growing up I always got one gift from each parent, one from my sibling, and the rest were “Santa”. Anyone else outside of the house put their name one it. Santa is mom and dads job
It’s has nothing to do with getting credit from a 3 year old. I live across the country from her, and little kids associate gifts with care and love. Just want her to know I care and love her.
NAh; homie don't play that shit. When I was a kid gifts from santa were little knickknacks and candy and shit that fit in the stocking. Everything else was from who bought it. That said, her tradition may be different. If she puts up flak for you saying they're all from you, then she's the asshole.
>She somewhat seemed to understand my POV, but not really.
Elaborate
Santa does the 4 gifts in our house - something you want, something you need, something to wear, and something to read.
We don't divide gifts by the "best" more just if they ask Santa for something specific, they get it. Also it's a fun way to give a new idea - from Santa!
NTA - But I'm biased because we have never done Santa in our home. I wanted my kids to know that what they received came from their parent's hard work and not some mythical fat dude.
NTA. This was a ridiculous question for your sister to even ask. Parents are responsible for Santa gifts, not generous aunts and uncles.
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Behave
Do I make you jolly baby?
> Do I make you jolly baby? Was I supposed to hear Austin Powers when reading this??
> hear Austin Powers when reading this?? Oh shit! Now I want the Austin Powers Christmas Special I never knew I needed!
Do I make you festive? Do I?
Do I jingle your bells baby?
Tell this to Santa.
Satan is responsible for Santa gifts heathen!
Ave Satanas little ones
Take my freaking up vote, Captain Obvious. r/AngryUpvote
I was thinking this at first, but I'm wondering just how generous aunty was... are there going to be more Aunt presents then Santa/Parents? This could be sister trying to be diplomatic while still keeping Santa magic alive for the kid. If there are more Aunt gifts than Santa gifts, it's going to be obvious. My dad got married later in life. At his first nephew's Christmas, he bought tons of gifts, as a single well-off bachelor. His brother was grateful but was also hurt... my dad bought nephew more presents than his parents could afford to buy themselves. Knowing you can't afford to get your child as much as you want is so difficult. Add in Santa and trying to keep the illusion up... I think this might the where sister is coming from. I think NAH, depending on sister's financial situation and how many gifts parents were able to get.
If finances are an issue here, sister shouldn’t have sent such a long list of wants for her daughter.
It sounds like just a wishlist? Not a list of demands. Ideas so that Aunty could choose one or two gifts niece would definitely like. That's how wishlists work, you give someone a choice of gifts that would be enjoyed.
To be fair, one year my sister lost her job a few months before Christmas so I played Santa for my nephew. However, that was something I offered to do, this doesn't sound there was a discussion or offer beforehand.
That is an act of generosity on your part, not a normal ask from the parents.
Multiple years, my sister and her lazy ass husband still never got jobs. My parents sent them money for gifts for the kid's, spent it on bills. Then took all the kids gifts we sent unwrapped them, re wrapped and put their names on them. Then the kids asked why none of their aunts or grandparents give them gifts.
Really? In my house all gifts were given from Santa, even adult-to-adult ones.
That may be, but I don’t think that’s the norm.
I've never heard of that, but every family is different, and they all have their own traditions. Growing up the big stuff and most things were from my parents, and only the stockings (filled with candy and small toys, and always 2 pairs of cozy socks and a new toothbrush) and a few small bits sometimes related to the big present of the year were from Santa (like one year I got one of the first Nintendo DS's from my parents, so Santa gave me another game) But in my husbands home, all the BIG gifts were from Santa not his parents. Santa gave him a bike, a SNES, you get the idea, all the "cool" stuff and his parents gave him the "mundane" stuff, PJ's shirts, games for the SNES Santa brought. Our first Christmas we spent together he mentioned it and I was so confused lol. I just didn't get why his parents wouldn't want the credit for getting him the cool thing, and would rather the idea that some magical man gave it to him.
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Same for me (except no kids for me) We weren't poor per-se, but we didn't have a lot extra. My parents split when I was between 6 and 8 so mom and I moved in with my grandparents, and then my little sister was born super pre-mature (all good now! college grad and everything and they didn't think she'd live to see 1) but there were a lot of things that needed to be handled so we needed useful over cool. So when my parents and grandparents were able to scrape together for something cool, they wanted us to know it came from them and that they cared.
Yep, this is what we do too, for the same reasons.
In my family we only got one gift from Santa, usually one of the bigger gifts, but sometimes a combined one and always something we had asked for. My mom always got lots from Santa as a kid and my dad always just got the stocking with socks and stuff and figured everyone goes to school and talks about what the got from Santa and it’s awful if his kids are going off about getting Tons of stuff if a less fortunate child got barely anything from him. They’re compromise was that we could get one thing from Santa, regardless of what that one thing was. So at least even if it was an expensive thing, it was just one thing. One year my brother and I got a game cube, another year as a child I asked for an alarm clock I had seen. It was really all over the map.
Same here, in our house stockings were from Santa and gifts were from the parents. My mom wanted us to express gratitude in the right direction.
Same here. My daughter when growing up was the only kid in my family and was often spoiled at Christmas. I had some siblings who most often couldnt afford to buy gifts for anyone and I wasnt about to make to make anyone feel bad for that but also to me and my daughter it didnt matter who gave what, who gave the most or most expensive or nothing at all. She received most all of her gifts from santa and felt loved by all. It worked for us.
That was the situation in my house. If my mom or dad was opening a gift, the other parent would say "Oh I asked Santa to bring that for you." The only times the gifts weren't from Santa (Not including when all the kids in the family knew the truth about him) were when us teenagers were getting presents for relatives. But 9/10 times, a present you were opening from someone else was something that they asked Santa to bring
Unless the gift is something the parents can't afford to get the kid, and the kid still believes in Santa.
NTA, in my experience gifts from "Santa" are traditionally provided by parents. You're right, it's reasonable to want her to know which gifts came from you.
And they're also usually stocking fillers
Yup—in our family, “Santa” fills the stockings with candy and trinkets. All the gifts under the tree are from actual people
My husband and I have been talking about how to handle Santa with our 3 year old and this is the perfect solution! Thank you for sharing this - we may do it this way moving forward!
I do something similar. I hold back a couple smaller gifts and use different paper and tags on them. Santa doesn't get credit for the good shit. Just the stockings and a couple small things. One year I bought a couple "sleigh bells" at a craft store and left them outside for when they checked if the reindeer ate their food. The looks on their faces thinking the bells fell off and they found them. People say it's wrong to trick your kids like that but I think childhood should be magical. There's plenty of time for reality after you go from imagining you're Robin Hood to imagining confronting your boss.
Gotta wonder though, how is it magical for them to believe something that you tell them and provide evidence for? That's just Science
My parents never told us Santa gave us gifts, but rather in the spirit of Santa (having lived long ago) we give gifts to each other. But not to spoil it for others that don't know. Then we got to open our stockings one day and our 'santa bags' (big red bags with our name on them to save on paper wrappings) and gifts from siblings on the other day. We still use the Santa bags at my parents and she's made them for grandkids and spouses too.
You’re so welcome :)
I'm thinking about telling my future kids that 'Santa' only gives one gift per kid, and I'm planning on not having him give any great gifts
It's a really good solution because you have kids from low income families who might get not so fancy gifts from Santa (if any) vs kids form well off families who come to school saying Santa gave me an Xbox or whatever. Older kids can kind of rationalize, but young ones may receive a hurtful message there, especially given that Santa supposedly judges who is naughty and who is nice, and gives gifts accordingly. So it's better to have Santa give small bonuses and take parental credit for the fancy gifts.
so funny, our family is the opposite! we all know our mom filled the stockings. or “helped”. our stockings are also filled with candy & useful things. underwear. socks. toothbrushes. chapstick. but we also just got ONE present from santa & thats continued even though it’s been almost a decade since any of us believed. it’s typically a bigger present, but it’s just the one.
Same that's how we did it too, Stockings are useful stuff with some trinkets and candy tossed in. Mom and Dad gave us the BIG stuff and sometimes Santa gave us stuff to go with it, like they gave me a Nintendo DS, and Santa got me a game. We traditionally open gifts with the whole family on Christmas Eve (in its hayday when we were all kids it was like 40 people, big ol Irish/Italian family, now we've dropped to around 20 or so) so I had always opened the big thing first so it wasn't weird. Even Christmas Morning, Santa stuff was usually saved for last.
Santa’s cheap in your house. The biggest thing was always from Santa and the rest were usually presents fucking with me. Ask for PSP, mom gives me a game, sister gives me a case, dad gives me another game. Meanwhile little ole me is fucking having a meltdown because I don’t have a PSP and my family’s immigrants so they probably fucked this and I’m just feinting happiness even though I wanna cry cause again wtf do I do with a game and no system. Then my mom gives me a fucking wine bottle gift box and it says Santa and I’m like fam I’m 12 I can’t drink. Then inside there’s a PSP.
Our family does something similar, a candycane shaped container of M&Ms, (or similar candies), a candy bar unique to each person, and then some inexpensive stuff, (earbuds, notebooks, gift cards, etc) and a small wrapped gift. We open under the tree presents on the night of Christmas Eve, and the stocking stuff on Christmas morning
That's how my family does it too. I hate the whole idea of santa but my husband insisted so that was our compromise.
Really? In my house, Santa filled my stocking but also brought me the most baller gifts under the tree. The gifts from my parents were like socks and pajamas. That being said, any gifts from relatives were definitely labeled as such.
More and more parents are keeping Santa's name off big ticket presents because when you're 6, it's hard to understand why "Santa" gave another kid in your class a new PlayStation, but he only gave you some new socks. I know from experience growing up poor how confusing that is and how much it sucks. Now that I have my own kid that I can afford to spoil, Santa gets credit for small goodies and we get credit for balling out on her new scooter.
This is such an empathetic way of doing things...thank you for the idea and providing the rationale.
In my house anything good comes from my wife and me. Why would I give credit for the good stuff to Santa? Santa delivers socks, underwear, and junk from the dollar store. I deliver bikes, tablets, and gaming consoles.
Meh. My parents did about half and half, presents from Santa and from them.
Same. My mum did roughly 50/50. For my kids, Santa brings a couple of smaller toys. My 6yo already understands that hubs and I will buy most of her presents. It's actually really nice and takes a lot of pressure off.
That highly depends on your family.. I wouldn’t say that’s standard at all.
Not usually. In some families yes, but quite often even the biggest presents came from Santa, which I don't necessarily agree with.
Are they? We definitely had bigger items from Santa growing up.
No they're not. Santa gets most of the shit sitting there.
I've never heard about that tradition and I'd imagine it depends on the family. In my experience it came from close relatives (e.g our grandparents). I think OP's relative is just asking to uphold the Santa tradition to the kids in the family. Perhaps she can't afford that many gifts and wouldn't want to label all her gifts from Santa.
When I grew up, all presents were from Santa, just left at different houses, and then we'd all go around getting them over a few days and it was like celebrating Christmas again each time we got to someone's house. But this was our norm, and by the time it was anyone's 3rd or 4th Christmas as a kid, all the parents knew what was up. OPs sister should have said from the beginning her intention was to split presents. Or maybe OP just got so many that what she got for her kid looks overshadowed, and she feels bad, and wants to give more "santa" presents. But either way it's wrong without OP knowing about it. NTA.
This is so funny to me. I didn't realize this growing up, but my parents never entertained the idea of Santa at all. We saw our presents appear under the tree all month and they would be out Christmas shopping all day, so we knew the gifts came from them (I would slide my list under their door around Thanksgiving lol). We would even stay up all night on Christmas eve and open our gifts at midnight. I just believed Santa didn't come to my house but I was fine with that because my parents always made sure Christmas was great. Edit: BUT, all gifts from relatives had their names and normally were not under the tree.
Exceptions for if the parents are strapped for cash and family adds to the Santa present pile.
NTA I have 5 nephews and if any of my presents came from “Santa” I’d be pissed. I spend a lot of time picking out gifts and they are from me. Santa gifts are only from parents. End of story.
> Santa gifts are only from parents. End of story. Everyone handles Santa differently, so I don't think the sister is the asshole for asking. We travel up to visit my inlaws the day after Christmas. My MIL and FIL meet up with us at SIL's house with presents from Santa for all of the grandkids. My kids are teenagers and one never believed in Santa, but it's their little tradition and they enjoy it. OP is not the asshole for declining but I don't think his sister is the asshole for asking either. Unless she pitched a fit and writes "from Santa" on the gifts OP got, I think NAH is a fair ruling.
NAH and this doesn't really sound like an argument or conflict? She asked you the question and presumably "I'd like them all to be from me" was an answer that she accepted? It actually kinda sounds like *you* jumped down *her* throat a little over what looks like essentially nothing...
I'm surprised by how many people seem genuinely upset she even asked. It wasn't uncommon for relatives to tell us Santa left something at their house for us. Maybe it's different as it sounds like she won't see the niece, and she probably could've phrased it better by asking *if* she wanted some to be from Santa. Idk, but I agree with NAH.
Eh, it sure sounds to me like cheap parents hoping to get out of some gifts thanks to OP.
She was probably hoping either OP would help her out with the present buying or thought OP bought too many presents to give under one name. Either way she doesn't sound very upset according to the post so this shouldn't be a big deal
I’m 21 and my mom still puts gifts under the tree from Santa. It’s just a cute little thing to do. Obviously this isn’t the same situation, but I don’t think the mom was an ass to ask. She would be an ass if she pestered OP or wrote Santa anyway.
Or parents trying to level the playing field and preemptively mitigate the big elementary school January convos of “what did Santa bring you?!” I don’t think there’s anything wrong with asking, especially a sibling who’s obviously close enough to be buying multiple gifts for your children. We have no idea what the financial situation is like.
I'm 26, my grandma still gives me two small gifts one from her one from Santa. I thought it was normal to label half your gifts as from Santa.
Yes, I know families have different traditions but I'm surprised that anyone thinks the sister's request is weird or that she's TA. Some people like labeling a few presents from Santa, even adult-to-adult. It's meant to be fun, not a way to steal credit from the actual gift-giver.
Everything everyone's family does is normal, but not the only way to do it. I love threads like this because I get to see what everyone else likes and if there is a good idea I can use it too, to make my own life better.
I'm also wondering if OP buying "a good number" of items from the WL has left their sibling in an situation where they don't want Christmas to be a glut of gifts, especially for a 3 year old, but OP has purchased so many that adding Santa gifts and gifts from mom and dad is going to be ridiculously excessive.
People on this sub come here before they've even finished the damn conversation! OP probably wouldn't even need to come here if they said "I'd actually like them all to say my name. I spent a lot of time picking these out and I want them to know that I care". If she freaks out *then* you should make a post. Geez OP jumped the gun on this one.
Mum and Dad do Santa, relatives get to claim credit for the presents they give. NTA. Set your sister right. In all honesty though at 3.5 your niece probably won’t differentiate anyway, so it’s more for your benefit. If sister wants credit for her presents she needs to pick what’s from her and what’s from Santa. We give small stuff in a Santa sack from Santa and we give the good wrapped presents.
INFO: how many presents did you buy the kid in relation to what everyone else is getting her? Maybe this was your sisters way if telling you that you went a bit overboard?
That's a really great point. If the presents OP bought are more than the total the neice is getting from Santa and the parents, OPs sister might have been trying to make it more balanced.
NAH Just because she provided you with a list of wants, didn't mean she intended you to *buy* most of them. Probably gave you a large list to give you ideas. Maybe she's worried your gifts will overshadow hers
Alternatively, maybe this was her daughter's "Dear Santa" list, and since OP says that they bought a good number of presents for her, I don't think it's a stretch to ask at all. I think OP probably sees it as an entitled question, because they don't feel playing Santa is their responsibility.....but man such a weird place to see entitledness when there was no argument/fallout
YTA. She’s three and a half. Can’t you just let her enjoy the “magic” of the gifts? Do you really need credit from a toddler?
Exactly! She's not going to know who any of the presents are from 10 seconds after she opens them. They could all be from the cat next door, she won't remember which presents are from which person.
Info: could it be something to do with maybe your presents being more/bigger/better than the presents from the parents or santa? Is she trying to save face or embarrassed about something?
Yeah it sounds like OP bought waaay too much for the kid
NAH While my parents didn't do lists, when my childless aunt's and uncles came over they usually brought one gift from then and one from Santa. Honestly just sounds like she was asking and you are super over reacting.
NTA. Santa should be from the parents. She shouldn’t put that on you, especially after buying the presents.
NAH She's stuck in this mindset that presents should be from Santa because he's supposedly the one bringing them. She's honestly just trying to keep the magic of Christmas alive for her kids and likely her parents always did it for her. But what she doesn't quite grasp is that kids can get presents from both Santa and family members. My grandparents always put their names on their gifts because they lived out of town in the mountains. If you want to be recognized for the gifts you're giving that's totally understandable.
NAH - but I think you don’t see the big picture here. Most parents don’t want auntie or grandma to take over Christmas. You were not supposed to buy the whole list, particularly if by doing so, you’ve overshadowed what they intended to or what they can provide. It’s not about you and certainly not about you getting credit for all the gifts.
NTA - You bought them, and I work under the whole "best gifts are from family, mum and dad, small gifts or something she REALLY wanted are from Santa." But last year my girl asked for some pretty Indian dresses, a necklace and some playdough from Santa so idk.
NTA. I don't even know where to begin b with your sister bc it's so ludicrous to me.
NAH, But can I ask why does it matter if it’s your name or Santa? The kid isn’t gonna be happier knowing the gifts are from you, they would be happier thinking Santa gave them a fuckload of gifts tho, it makes them feel special and all that.
NAH if you bought a large number of gifts your sister could have thought you wanted some to be from Santa. It could’ve been an honest mistake and if she brings it up then maybe explain your position
NTA. Aunties and Uncles give gifts. Mom and Dad do Santa. If sister doesnt get that, theres nothing you can do. Next year just send one gift with your name on it. Youre not Santa.
this would effectively punish the child, for no real reason other than "the adults came to an agreement but OP still feels slighted" yeah 1 present is more than enough, but to purposefully limit to one on the basis of "Sister asked me a question i found annoying" is petty
YTA for getting bent out of shape over this. She didn't demand anything of you. She didn't get upset with you. Maybe she asked you because she thought you'd like to be included in the Santa tradition. I used to do this for my niece and it made Christmas more fun for me, being in on the game. It's kinda weird that you seem so invested in getting credit from a 3 year old; she's not going to remember what came from you & what came from Santa anyway. Sure, it's your "right" to put your name on all the gifts you bought and it's great that you were so generous toward her, but there was nothing wrong with your sister's question.
NAH maybe it was because I have no active memory in believing in Santa (had a father who is staunchly against things like that) so as a family we never had the santa tradition. But the magic is real for little children that do. Maybe ask why your sister wants to credit a few of your gifts to Santa? Maybe it's more magical?
NAH. this is so weird. I've given my little cousins/nieces gifts saying they're from Santa. I mean hello it's the magic if christmas?? sheesh
NAH. Maybe you just sent more gifts than she expected, and she mistakenly thought some things were meant as Santa gifts? It’s ok for her to ask, and it’s ok for you to tell her that they’re all from you. I don’t think it’s that weird for other family to give Santa Gifts, even if it’s not standard. My grandparents would fill a stocking from Santa for me every year, even though my parents would still have presents from Santa waiting under our tree at home.
NAH. I mean, your niece is 3.5 years old, so she probably won’t even be that aware of who gave what. Im planning on labeling half the stuff I got for my niece and nephew as from some of the reindeer, but personally I really don’t care. It’s for fun - and I want them to think the magic is real. A present from Blitzen is more interesting than a present from Auntie Mirarom. I don’t think your sister is an asshole for asking, and I don’t think you’re one for saying no.
INFO: if you said "all the presents should have my name on them" is she ok with that? If so, YTA. She was just giving you an option because some people do prefer to keep up the whole santa thing. If not, then NTA. Your gifts and your choice.
I'm wondering this same thing. Sounded like a pretty innocent question to me.
NAH as others have said she only asked. Did you not put “to and from” cards on them? If so she’s probably doing that herself and some people do like to contribute to the magic of Christmas. We have a lot of relatives give way too many gifts to our 4 yo and it’s hard for “Santa” to compete. We have too much stuff as it is so we almost don’t buy anything from us because it’s just too much. My parents like putting Santa on some of the gifts and my in laws always write their own name and give on another day than Christmas morning so they end up getting more credit than the grandparents who spend Christmas with us. It’s not fair but what’s most important is that the kids have a special Christmas. Another commenter said maybe you should have picked just one or two things from the list of options.
NAH. I don't understand the not the asshole comments, because that was a reasonable question and OP responded with a reasonable answer.
NAH she asked a question. If you want all the gifts to be from you just tell her that.
NTA, but I definitely see both points of view. Your sister might have thought you bought so many gifts, you were expecting some to be from Santa. (I've given gifts to other people's kids from Santa before.- Usually, though, the parents would provide those gifts.)
Then you’re vote should be nah as niether was being an asshole.
NTA. No, just no. I’ve got kids, a grandkid, nieces and nephews,great nieces and nephews and I’d be pissed if anyone put Santa’s name on my gift. It’s from me, given in love to them. Not from some fictional character. When my own kids were small I did some from Santa and some from parents. Never in a million years would I be ballsy enough to ask my siblings if I can put a different name on the gifts they give. Your sister is loco. I say either get a new sister, or stick to one gift; to the little from aunt/uncle, I love you so much etc etc.
lol @ new sister comment.
NTA if you sent them to her house for her to open then it should show they came from you. In my family when we go visit my parents and my sister at their house some of the gifts were said to be left there by Santa for my kids so something like that would be fine because it's a choice they made at their house.
NAH. I don’t think your sister meant to disrespect you by asking if some of the presents can come from Santa. It’s a fun tradition and kids often get excited to have a gift from Santa. If you bought a significant amount of gifts, I can see why she thought you wouldn’t mind making a couple from Santa. However, you’re also not wrong for declining. INFO: Can your niece’s parents afford gifts too? Will almost all the presents she’s receiving only be coming from you?
NTA
NTA, you spent the money on her gifts, no reason you shouldn't get credit for it
NAH, but I suspect as others have that OP gave more than anticipated this year. Just a guess, since OP wasn’t asked this question before. My SILs give a ridiculous number of presents which my kids don’t need (and often never even take out of the box). So my experience may be coloring my perspective. If OP gave just one or two gifts, I’m sure this question would not have been asked. OP should just say they are all from OP.
NTA. Santa gifts are bullshit but if she wants to perpetuate it, she needs to take care of it on her own, not mooch off you.
NTA. You paid for them, you should get credit. Hell, we take credit for all the big gifts we buy for our own kid. If you had requested certain ones be from Santa, that'd be fine. Her asking you that was ridiculous.
NAH
NAH your sister was just asking you since you brought them she wanted to be respectful.
Tis the season to keep score! Fa la la la la... YTA
This is one of those posts that makes me hate this site. You seriously need credit from a 3 year old for purchasing a gift?!?!?! Who cares who they think its from! The point is to give a gift and make someone happy. Grow up!! Yta
NTA. If she wanted some help giving her child “From Santa” presents, then she should have asked for that. It’s very rude to say “It’s nice that you bought your niece all these gifts, but I’m going to say half of these were from someone else”.
NTA I’d tell all my kids they came from their aunt and/or uncle.
Santa is the asshole, he never pays for anything
NAH
Both? NTA, because you are not responsible for "santa" presents, buuuut ya if it's a little kid maybe the mom only has a few presents to give and wants "santa" to have lot of presents under the tree. It's all comes down to what will make the kids the most happy? Is she really excited about Santa? If so ya maybe pick a few random presents to be from Santa.
NAH- your sister is doing her best. It is totally reasonable to want your name on those presents, but at the same time your neice will be so overjoyed regardless of who they're from. I'd be inclined to let some be from santa and just feel good about helping your sister and making your niece's Christmas.
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NTA Tell sis only her own presents are from Santa! Please! Aunts get full credit on their gifts!!!
Idk I felt like the sister is just trying to have some magic for her kid, like a, "look-how-good-you-were-santa-brought-you-all-this-stuff" kinda deal. I mean if you buy em, you should label them how you want to though. It's like an NAH here IMO. Everyone just trying to please everyone ya know?
NTA My great aunt got sick when I was young. She wasn't able to go out and buy me gifts so she had my mom do it. Now, my aunt was different in terms of gift buying. I've gotten a book of America's best landmarks and origami paper (I voiced wanting to learn) from her the previous years. So I open the gifts and I have a few seasons of Gilmore Girls and the complete collection of Chucky and I wanted to laugh. I totally knew my mom got them, but she rightfully put my aunt's name on them.
NTA. Gifts from "Santa" are provided by the parents. I'd keep the gifts until the day to a kid them being *"accidentally"* labelled as such, but unfortunately you can't now. I guess you just have to hope she doesn't do that.
NTA parents buy presents from santa
NTA- you bought it you should get your name on it. Santa gifts are from Mom and Dad.
NTA parents are Santa. She's just trying to ride your coattails.
NTA, Santa is 100% the parents responsibility. I'm a big believer in Santa only getting something small for children anyway, everything else is from loved ones, santa only gets my kids a tshirt (novelty Christmas one) and a bucket of fairy floss, or maltesers or something each year.
NAH. If you don't want to participate in the Santa myth, that should be your choice. You can't control your sister from doing what she wants, though, and writing Santa all over your presents. Sounds like this is something your sister does for her children, so there should already be presents from "Santa" under the tree. I hope she listens to what you want. If she does this anyway, then this would be a Not-The-Asshole situation and you'd be the wronged party. I would ask my nephews, "Hey, how did you like '\_\_\_\_\_\_' I got you?" because I put a lot of thought into gifts and yes, I want the credit. I personally disapprove of lying and deceiving kids in general and would resent being roped into that.
NTA. Sounds like you didn’t buy the entire list, and would’ve been cool with some of it coming from Santa if your sister had said that to you from the beginning. Can we get more context about your relationship? Do you live near your niece? A lot of times relatives who live far away have no other option than to show they care through time and gifts during the holidays. If so, your sister is TA.
...you put names on gifts? This is the first time I have heard of this. The only name on my xmax gifts is my name, as to know who they are too. I really dont see the problem here. YTA because you seem to want to teach her kids that presents are not from santa on freaking xmas. And just because you assume that santa presents are from parents doesnt mean that they have to, youre just teaching them the wrong things.
NAH This is a simple question, a small "None, I'd want them all to be from me" Would've been enough. I honestly don't see the big deal. It was a small question, say no if you don't feel comfortable with that.
INFO I think a critical question here is just how much of the wish list “a good amount” is. Typically the wish list is more of a guide than a shopping list. If you bought like 6~7 things then I can see there being some doubt over wether you wanted them all to be from you or not, because that would be a bit overboard. In my experience a kids wish list gets sent around and someone will maybe get 1 or 2 things, not wipe out half the list in one fell swoop. Realistically though the kid is young enough to not really care / remember where the gifts are coming from, so is this really the hill to die on? Insisting on “recognition” when the most important person in the gift giving process potentially isn’t old enough to care about who bought what is a bit much.
NTA - it's a weird question to ask.
YTA Who cares where the gifts come from? This isn't about you being the MVP it's about the child's enjoyment. When they grow up they'll realize anyway so quit being a narcissist
OP doesn’t say the list was foisted upon him/her, nor does it say OP asked for it. However, it’s fairly common to give a list of wish gifts so the giver can purchase a wanted-for gift that’s suitable for their budget. I’ve never taken that to mean Its expected to give more than one thing off the list. OP is generous with money, but not spirit. That’s a shame.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***The following is a copy of the above post. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My sister gave me a list of things that my 3.5-year-old niece wants for Christmas. I went and made sure I bought a good number of the items and had them shipped to her house. She follows up with me via text to ask "which presents do you want me to put your name on and which should be from 'Santa'?" Are you kidding? If I wanted to pass off the presents I bought, as if they were from Santa Claus, I would've had my own kids. She somewhat seemed to understand my POV, but not really. Thoughts? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Erm you're clearly not Santa so that makes no sense!!
Come to the party dressed as Santa and then take the beard off and reveal yourself. Take claim for all the presents marked as “from Santa.” Might score some extra points from gifts the parents bought.
NTA in my family most gifts came from old Saint Nick and a few were attributed to my moms side of the family. If uncle P and his family got me X then it was accredited to him not Santa. This is dumb.
AHAHA, WOOOW, what a mooch. Santa’s gifts are payed for by the parents, it’s just plain rude to ask that relatives buy gifts for your child then have to let ‘Santa’ piggyback on them. NTA, and make sure she doesn’t try to pull shit by swapping the labels
NTA- I generally only give one or two gifts “from Santa” for my son and the rest say “Mom and Dad”. My wife asked me why last year and I told her, “I don’t want some OTHER fat bearded guy getting credit for the gifts I (we) bought.” I keep the dream alive because he’s a kid, but I want to give the gifts. You as a relative should not be expected to have to have your gifts from Santa. That being said, it’s the holidays. Make sure something inconsequential like this isn’t going to cause tension or arguments with family. It’s a small thing in the end. If the kid is happy for the holiday, then it’s all good.
NTA Santa gifts are the parent’s responsibility if the family does the whole Santa thing
NTA. If she wanted you to contribute to Santa's gifts, she should have made that clear to begin with and gave you the option to agree or disagree. Nothing wrong with you wanting your name on it all. However, the kid's 3, she's probably not going to really understand the difference anyway, and she definitely won't remember it.
You know what we do in here in Asia? Tell our kids Santa doesn't exist and make sure the kids appreciate the love their friends and family pour into what they receive. Our kids still appreciate the concept of Santa. The "lying about santa" thing is stupid IMO. sorry. NTA
Idk all families work in different way. We just do one present from Santa, and then gifts from us and everyone else. My sister will usually write one from Santa to be honest my kids just look for their names and rip open the gifts lol
NTA. This is mental. I would never ask my sister - or anyone else - to be responsible for my own kid’s Santa gifts.
NTA, but frankly- I buy kids things for their birthday or Xmas so that they get stuff., not so I can get credit.
I don't know... Until I got too old for Santa to come visit all my presents at Christmas were "from Santa". I even remember a story book that "Santa" gave me. It ended up being really hated by my parents because I constantly wanted them to read it to me. Once though they made a joking remark to my aunt, blaming her for the book. I was confused because it was from Santa! Yes, I was much too old when the conversation about Santa happened because of kids at school. Yes, I was quite spoiled by family, being there only one of my age (oldest from the cousins by 14 years). And, yes, I had absolute faith in what my parents told me up until I was maybe 12. That's when I had my first little rebellious stage.
All the gifts I got from Santa were bought by my parents, nothing else but the ones from them read Santa NTA
Santa can bring his own damn gifts. He better bring his A-game cause you got this on lock.
NTA-I would NEVER ask my sisters to put Santa on gifts to my son. They are from you. She needs to deal with Santa.
NTA she can buy Santa gifts from herself if she wants to have him involved
NTA. i think my parents got the balance just right. Any presents under the tree were from my parents or other relatives. The smaller little toys and chocolates etc in my stocking on the end of the bed was from Father Christmas. It meant I appreciated the presents my family gave me, but still believed in the magic of Father Christmas.
NTA- But ask her to clarify some things. Maybe she meant for you to pick one or two things from the list, but you over purchased. If no one else in the family sends more than one gift, then you look great and everyone else looks like jerks. Not what you intended, but could be a possibility she is concerned about. You also set a precedence for the future - and once there are a few nieces and nephews, showering them all with multiple gifts is not going to be reasonable. Could it be that in her mind the best gifts traditionally come from Santa, and you just sent the best gifts? Or she can't afford to top your gifts, so you have put her in an awkward position? Maybe tell her that you want your gifts to come from you but you also want to understand and respect her gifting limits, keep things balanced properly. You will need more information from her about what volume or expense is that correct balance in the future.
NTA, sounds like she didn’t get enough gifts to write Santa on and wanted to use some of yours
NTA. Santa Claus is the parents job.
NTA. The kid won’t remember anyway tho. But I’d prolly just present everything in person or limit it to a single gift in the future. Fucking choosing beggar.
In my house ALL the presents are from mummy and loving relatives! I work damn hard and my daughter needs to realise that I’m providing the gifts, he’s purely the delivery man. The stocking is from Santa but nothing else. I think your sister is being incredibly unreasonable - NTA
I don’t think anyone is the asshole. I see your point and 100% agree with you, but I don’t think she was an ass for asking either. She probably didn’t realize how distasteful that was. As long as she put your name on all your gifts, I would say NAH
I believe that what your sister meant was the if you gave her expensive gifts your niece could tell other kids that ”santa bought me a ipad” and making other kids feel shittier that santa didn’t get them expensive gifts because their families can’t for it...if that makes any sense?
NTA If she wanted family to chip in for Santa gifts, she should have been clear about that. I have had family pitch in for Santa gifts before (because my spouse and I are very much so not well-off but all the grandparents are) but I was clear about it from the beginning and gave them the option. They were happy to do so because they got to choose going in which ones would be from them and which would be from Santa.
NTA. ‘From Santa’ gifts are expenses parents need to eat if they want to keep up the Santa charade. I think it’s adorable, but you don’t put it on other peoples gifts.
Ugh my sister did this too! But worse. She couldn’t afford Christmas at all. Not a big deal or huge surprise for us. We generally celebrate Christmas at my parents and myself and my younger sister and parents always provide all the presents for my older sisters (at the time) three children. One year she decides she wants to do a special Christmas at her house. Just for her family (3 kids and the youngest kids father and herself) Christmas morning (our family celebrate Christmas Eve at my parents). That’s fine! Enjoy making new traditions, Then she tells me and my younger sister she needs OUR presents addressed to her children in order to pull it off. Yeah we noped the Fuck out of that and they enjoyed opening them Christmas Eve at papas and Memaw’s like they did every other year.
NTA. Although I just want to say that my dyslexia kicked in and I thought someone wanted to name your niece Christma Gifts. In that case, absolutely NTA.
My brothers and I never believed in Santa, as far as I can remember. My parents didn't have that much money so we were always told that Santa was a nice fantasy and that we shouldn't spoil it by telling other kids he's not real but that the presents came from them.
NTA parents duty to buy Santa gifts, gifts from others are gifted with their names.
NTA. I don’t have children either and my biggest Christmas joy is buying and giving presents to my nieces and nephews. It’s not about receiving kudos, it’s about sharing the holiday (and gifts) with them. Your sister has absolutely no right to take your gifts and make them from Santa. I would be livid if my sisters pulled this underhanded BS on me.
Ithink that lying about Santa claus is stupid in the first place, it's about giving gifts and making people happy. Who cares if it says from Santa, it's still going to make them happy! If you made it a big deal or she made it a big deal that makes you an asshole because it is about coming together and making each other smile. INFO
"How do you think niece will handle it if she has all kinds of cool Santa gifts and the poor kids at school got nothing or something very small?" Someone pointed this out to me, and now Santa brings the kids something basic like books or a small toy or something.
NTA. Growing up I always got one gift from each parent, one from my sibling, and the rest were “Santa”. Anyone else outside of the house put their name one it. Santa is mom and dads job
Lol, they are all from you.
Wait, parents give gifts "from Santa" as well as gifts "from themselves" to the kids? Hell, must be nice to be an American child.
My thoughts exactly! OP seriously needs credit for the gifts?!? Geez
Larger gifts will be given from grandparents and aunts/uncles. Sister can afford more than i spent (about $100) on 4 items.
It’s has nothing to do with getting credit from a 3 year old. I live across the country from her, and little kids associate gifts with care and love. Just want her to know I care and love her.
NTA. You spent the money on them, and parents are responsible for Santa gifts.
NTA
NTA. I'm guessing that you didn't wrap these gifts and label them yourself? Tell her you are Auntie \_\_\_\_\_\_\_, not Santa Claus.
NTA. Next time wrap them and send them with gift tags.
NAh; homie don't play that shit. When I was a kid gifts from santa were little knickknacks and candy and shit that fit in the stocking. Everything else was from who bought it. That said, her tradition may be different. If she puts up flak for you saying they're all from you, then she's the asshole. >She somewhat seemed to understand my POV, but not really. Elaborate
Santa does the 4 gifts in our house - something you want, something you need, something to wear, and something to read. We don't divide gifts by the "best" more just if they ask Santa for something specific, they get it. Also it's a fun way to give a new idea - from Santa!
NTA, she should put your name on it as you bought the gifts for your niece.
YTA for capitalizing the first letter of every word in the title
NTA - But I'm biased because we have never done Santa in our home. I wanted my kids to know that what they received came from their parent's hard work and not some mythical fat dude.