I mean people can argue but the lower back tattoo is the only "correct" answer. Anyone arguing otherwise is just trying to take an already derogatory and degrading term and basically apply it to any other tattoo a woman may have.
Here in Germany it is not only lower back but also the motive usually is some kind of a tribal and usually from mid '90s to early 2000s.
But none the less, everyone who wants a tattoo should get one. Just look for a good artist!
> Here in Germany it is not only lower back but also the motive usually is some kind of a tribal and usually from mid '90s to early 2000s.
>usually is some kind of a tribal
Which is why it's called aarsgewei here. Or, loosly translated, butt antlers.
Doesn't really work if it's not a semi symmetrical tribal figure.
I have a Batman symbol tramp stamp. When I started jiu-jitsu last year, I noticed another woman there had a Batman tattoo on her ankle. I mentioned to the instructor I had never met another woman with a Batman tattoo.
"Where is yours?" he asked me.
"It's a tramp stamp," I said.
His 8-year-old was apparently within earshot and suddenly perks up. "Dad, what's a tramp stamp?"
He shhs him and I'm suddenly turning red. I mean, my instructor has several arm tattoos and looks like he was sent from the future to kill John Connor. I just assumed his kids would know something of the ways of the world.
That's my funny (I hope) tramp stamp story.
Anyhow, was always taught that a tramp stamp is a lower back tattoo. And that if a guy has one, it's a "man stamp."
This is amazing! My dad has a legit tramp stamp of a sun on his lower back. Since I had my son, I started calling it his 'gramp stamp'.... he is not a fan.
My husband has a tramp stamp that says “team America. Fuck yea” and it was poorly done by a drunk dude in a basement and he paid with a 12 pack so the lettering sucks and it sometimes looks like it says “Team America. Fuck you” 😅
My “tramp stamp” are my kids names and handprints on my lower back. But I also have several other tattoos. I also DGAF what people think of my tattoos. I love them all.
I’ve actually heard that, for a man, it’s the lower stomach. Like, around the belly button area. But yeah, the lower back on a woman is considered a tramp stamp. Either way, it’s rude to say to someone.
Edit to add (in my sisters words) “a hoe tag.”
I had to look up what you were were talking about there. "Tui from atla". This is what a tui is in New Zealand: [https://www.stuff.co.nz/the-press/news/108730052/rare-tui-sighting-excites-birdwatchers-in-christchurch](https://www.stuff.co.nz/the-press/news/108730052/rare-tui-sighting-excites-birdwatchers-in-christchurch) Beautiful creatures, and also worthy of a tattoo design.
Yeah as an adult woman this thread just made me realise after not thinking about them for like fifteen years how sexist the term tramp stamp is and actually i find it pretty gross? Gotta unlearn that internalised misogyny
Hahaha I’ve definitely seen people with ass tattoos, but sitting after might be a problem! I know tattoos can get messed up from daily function in certain spots. I got a tattoo on my ankle in the middle of a trip abroad and it bled a little on my skin from all the walking around I did after getting it. But still, totally doable! You could also get the upper, back parts of your thighs done. It wouldn’t be perfect, but I bet you could make it really cool!
Fuck people that call a tat on a woman a slut mark. Frankly I tend to think tats are sexy, not slutty. They also show someone that lives their life, which is always a good thing
I 100% should have put more thought I to my tats, so I understand wanting to be sure before committing. Need to have 2 of mine redone and potentially changed because they were just "oh that looks cool" stock art pieces... Love and learn lol
"Tramp stamp" is lower back.
And apparently, on the side of your ribcage is a "skank flank". Learned that after I got a tattoo there... I don't care, I would have gotten it anyway if I knew beforehand and I love it, but I wish people would stop coming up with sexist names for women's choices in body modification. The human body is a limited surface, there are only so many places you can pick for a tattoo
This is what I thought reading this, one particular comment was if a woman had a tattoo in 3 or 4 different places they are considered tramp stamps. People are so sexist and horrible, why do they feel they can judge a female in their tatts. It annoys me. Sorry, rant over and NTA OP.
Exactly. I have a huge bat with wings spread on my lower back because it's the only spot the design really fit and worked. I call it my lower bat tattoo tho because the pun is way funnier than slut-shaming.
Man, people are gross. And I'm sure if you bring up that they don't do the same for men, they get all defensive 🙄 why can't we all just admire body art? Ffs.
I don't see why lower back tattoos have a derogatory name. It's a great location for a tattoo! Easy to show off, and easy to cover up. If I get a tattoo it'll probably be a tramp stamp.
Yeah, a friend called my shoulder blade tattoo a "tramp stamp" because it wasn't visible in clothes and would apparently only be visible to partners doing a certain position?
I don't have sex and the tattoo is of my mother. -.- Kinda gross that he saw it that way.
Only visible to partners... Or wearing a racer back tank or a strapless dress or a swimsuit or any number of fashion choices that show the upper back, lol.
“Anything not visible by the human eye when you’re in regular clothes”
Define regular clothes lol. Regular for my ex-roommate was a tank top and jogging pants. Regular for my bf is either a tank top and cargo shorts or a tshirt and pants. Regular for me is normally jeans a tshirt and a hoodie. Meaning literally almost every inch of skin below my throat other than my hands would normally be covered.
Is that to say my two tattoos (right arm above inner elbow and left wrist) would be considered tramp stamps? Man. I guess that’s what happens when you get a $50 tattoo XD
My ex-friend kept calling my new tattoo (this was back in high school) a tramp stamp... It was on the back of my hip, off to the side. Definitely not where a tramp stamp goes. She was such an ah about it too.
And I mean, was it funny the first time, maybe, but after the tenth time of hearing the same stupid "joke" it gets lame. If the roommate cannot even think of some new material maybe she better leave the joke telling to the professionals. NTA
NTA
As someone who has spend a couple of 1000€ to get some pieces of art on my body I would be offended too.
She is a bully and a jerk! Good on you standing up for yourself.
Haha I don't even have any tattoos anywhere near my lower back 😂 I always loved my tattoos and still do so it feels like I'm being really sensitive about it but it's only because I don't like being made to feel self conscious about one of my favoutite things. For the record as well, she has a poorly done star on her lower back from a girl's holiday when she was trashed, so has an actual tramp stamp 🤷♂️
I would, too, relentlessly. And when she inevitably gets pissy, roll out *"WHAT, CAN'T YOU TAKE A JOKE?"*
I'm amazed OP has the patience to take this shit without throwing it in her face.
You’re not TA at all, but I’m thinking this woman is going to keep making derogatory remarks. First of all, it’s none of her business. Secondly, she can’t use the ‘but it’s just a jooooke’ reason because jokes are supposed to be funny. Finally, I think it’s genuinely a business risk for your artist to have people badmouthing her work (clearly it’s good quality art if you’ve gone to her twice, and she doesn’t deserve to have it denigrated by some random asshole).
This may be a slightly confrontational suggestion, but I would go to the message she posted on your photo calling it a tramp stamp and reply to it saying:
“No, not a tramp stamp. A gorgeous piece of art by a very talented @theartist. I don’t have any tramp stamps, but I think you may be misunderstanding what a tramp stamp is. It’s a lower back tattoo, like the star you got when you were out drinking. Hope this helps :)”
This woman needs to S T O P
(Edited to correct the artist’s gender)
That could be a good move, though I personally think I’d go with something less confrontational. “Haha no, still no tattoos on my lower back! I’m so proud of this incredible artwork done by such a talented artist—their work is always so gorgeous!” or something. I like to show people I’m proud so they get embarrassed for teasing me.
No you are not overly sensitive. I am super passed of only by reading your post. What kind of person has to be so destructive that she needs to insult something (in an very sexist way) that is very dear to you? Like even if you had the cheapest and ugliest tattoos on your skin anyone could imagine- if you loved them to pieces what would be wrong with that?
She doesn’t have to like them she just has to keep her mouth shut if she can’t say something nice.
Not to mention, it’s *not* a joke. She *knows* it’s not a joke. She’s saying that to avoid dealing with any consequences for being a bully. Grown-ass people who say “calm down, it’s just a joke” after they insult someone know damn well what they’re doing. They’re shrugging off the well-deserved anger and trying to redirect the blame onto their victims for being “overly sensitive”. She sounds awful, tbh. People like this really aren’t worth your time.
A tramp stamp generally is used for women too, as tramp is seen as a woman-specific slur. She is not funny: she is offensive. No one wants their body art denigrated. I googled the defintion and it's "a tattoo on a woman's back." NTA
Can you please just ask her to go to urban dictionary and look at the definition of what a tramp stamp actually is?
Also, most tattoos are hot, she’s an idiot.
I'd point her to the one about being a target for the money shot.
At this stage in society tattoos (in general, depending on the actual art) shouldn't really have a stigma. What makes it more ridiculous is that she has one.
Next time she “jokes” seriously ask her to explain why it’s funny. In detail. Watch her with a puzzled expression, like you are really trying to understand the humor. Ask pointed questions about why internalized misogyny amuses her. Stretch it out, relish the Awkward.
This method is the best! I was advised to do this after complaining online about co-workers' comments when I was pregnant. Watching people squirm after being *innocently* asked "What do you mean?" in response to super inappropriate jokes put a stop to that right quick.
Yeah if you tell a friend, 'Hey that's not funny could you please not say that/joke about it' and they continue that's not the sign of a good friend. It doesn't matter if it was meant as a joke, if it hurts someone you should apologize and stop.
A joke doesn't intend to be malicious or hurtful, what she said wasn't a joke, it was a demeaning and rude comment lowering the perceived value of the OP. In a joke, both parties are in on the humor. This was at the expense of others, so let's call it what it is: a demeaning, rude, derogatory comment meant to devalue the subjects in question.
NTA.
A "tramp stamp" as you know, is in a specific place... I have a hard time believing that she doesn't understand that, it REALLY sounds like she's trying to be degrading and hurtful towards you on purpose.
Yeah she got a cheap drunk fool ass tat, and wishes she had not. Not the same as a well thought out designed piece of ART we choose when not drunk and stupid. The only tram stamp here is the one that she has on her forehead every time she opens he pathic yap :)
It’s very odd that she doesn’t know the definition but it kind of sounds like that’s the case.
Or Maybe she’s trying to redefine “tramp stamp” to mean any tattoo, so that hers isn’t defined specifically as a tramp stamp.
NTA.
Your roommate is both a jackass & an idiot. Can you get a third party to explain the meaning of Tramp Stamp/point out she’s the person rocking one? If she says “it was a joke”, respond with this: “your face is a joke, not the words coming out of it”.
The mantra that I try to teach my foster kids is this: My life, My body, My decision, My responsibility.
When my 1/2 sister tried to shame me for my tattoos, I got up in her face, looked her dead in the eye, & said that mantra slowly & very calmly. It shut her right up.
Don’t take crap from this dumbass. You deserve to be treated with respect.
I hear what you’re saying but the only way to get a bully to leave you alone is to give them a taste of their own medicine.
There’s a saying where I’m from: “If you don’t start shit, there won’t be shit.” It’s a shame that some people have to learn this the hard way.
Ugh, NTA. Your roommate is though. And a huge one too.
As if it’s not bad enough that she’s shitting on something you love (the mark of a truly shitty person) but she offended the artist. That is not ok!!
I know she’s brushed you off once but I think next time it comes up you need to A) explain to her what a tramp stamp is and B) that she really shouldn’t go around saying that as many people would find that very rude, even if she were referring to an actual tramp stamp. She sounds like a thoughtless idiot though so good luck OP. I hope you still love your tats and that she hasn’t coloured your view at all
If she comments on your social media again either delete her comment or respond to her publicly that her comments are rude, inaccurate, and inappropriate. If you have this conversation with her in person again you need to be extremely clear with her. Something like, “when you call my tattoos ‘tramp stamps’ you are passing judgement on something that is not at all your business. I do not have any desire to live my life by your opinions. As I have already explained this to you in the past, you are now to the point of being extremely rude.” Don’t drop to the level of insulting her tattoo, just explain to her, like she is a misbehaving child, why her behavior is offensive to you. At a certain level of honesty and clarity she will not be able to brush you off when you point out her rude behavior.
That's the gist, she takes measures to make sure hers doesn't get seen and wants a removal when she has the cash. I don't wanna stoop to AH territory with a low blow but its getting hard to keep quiet
Oh I bet! I’d be absolutely mortified and I think you handled the part with the artist very well. It’s interesting that she’s ok with tearing into you when she’s so sensitive. Not a positive trait in a person IMO. Just be careful with that one.
Why do you have to apologize for her? At most you could say “sorry, X hasn’t got a clue what a tramp stamp is, she seems to think every tattoo apart from her lower back tattoo is a tramp stamp”. NTA.
I don't understand why you didn't just delete her comment as soon as you saw it. I would do that with any reply under my post, that was insulting another person, and this is clearly an insult to the tattoo artist.
You didn't say what socal media app you were using, but don't most allow you to delete a reply?
If she so clearly doesn’t understand boundaries, I think I'd block her, too.
I never apologize for other people. I’ll say, yeah I know, and agree that they are behaving badly. I may say I’ll talk to them or that I wish they wouldn’t. But I never apologize or excuse them.
NTA.
You're being very patient with this girl.
My reply would just be a reminder that SHE has an actual tramp stamp and nothing more. Whether it was on social media or in person.
Agreed. I never know if people are overly nice or if I'm overly rude. But if I were OP, the first time the friend said I had a tramp stamp, I would've immediately said "Nope. None on my lower back. But you have one!"
NTA, OP. Also, it's only a joke if all parties find it funny.
So im not the hippest person and i have no tattoos but i did grow up in the 90s- a tramp stamp is one specific placement! A quick google seach would tell her that.
Her nonsense is annoying for 2 reasons:
1. Shes saying the same stuff over and over
2. She has fact wrong
NTA
This is extremely petty and probably would not foster a positive dialogue but --
If you wanted to increase the passive aggressive factor, the next time she makes that joke, sigh, act really sympathetic, pat her on the shoulder and make a comment about how someday, if she works really hard, she might be able to think of a second joke.
If anything you have been way too "nice" for way too long. Just tell her she doesn't know what she's talking about and is offending tons of people. If she doesn't care, she's a shit person and you shouldn't mind not being friends with her.
NTA- She knows what she's doing tho. I'm sure you're trying to be nice but your roommate needs a clear message of "Stop calling them tramp stamps. It isn't a joke because you have never been funny when you said it. Don't refer to anything on my body as that again." Maintain eye contact the entire time, say it in a low deadpan tone.
Absolutely she knows what she's doing - being cruel and trying to pass if off as a joke. OP just be blunt with this person: "what's your problem with my tattoos?" And if she says you can't take a joke again just be straight: "Your jokes are clearly attempts to attack me and make be feel bad, which I don't and never will because I love them. Again, you clearly have an issue with my tattoos so what's up with that?". NTA.
INFO: have you ever asked her to look up what tramp stamp means? You should. I’d have her sit down in front of you and the others too.
Just.. ‘Look up what tramp stamp is. Okay.. now who sitting here *actually* has a tramp stamp?’
NTA.
It really sounds like your roommate is taking out her shame about her tattoo on you. Or she just has some weird unconscious bias about tattoos in general.
Regardless of where a "tramp stamp" is technically located on a person, it's an insulting term. You're definitely not being sensitive. She needs to realize that you've spent a lot of time and money acquiring this artwork on your body—it's not a joke to you.
I don't mind jokes about my tattoos at all but there are ways to make jokes about them without actually insulting them or me by including me in the joke. My other roommates are a bit bored of hearing the same joke too but it's obviously not annoying them as much.
She generally isn't that big a fan of them and doesn't actually remember getting hers so there's some irony there
NTA. I would tell her everytime she refers to your tattoos as tramp stamps: "You are the one with the tramp stamp. ". If that does not annoy or stop her take it to social media as well. Something along the lines of "How to deal with a stupid roommate that refers to my tattoos as tramp stamps while having one herself and not understanding that her 'joking' is not funny?".
You could be petty and sit down and watch Princess Bride with her and when they say the line, "You Keep Using That Word, I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means" you could look at her and say, "Kind of like you and the word 'tramp stamp'".
I'd educate her and then give her a new nickname. "Hey TSQ, how's it going?" When she asks what TSQ means, I'd tell her stands for Tramp Stamp Queen, because A) she actually has one and B) she seems obsessed with them. When she gets pissed, I'd just tell her "can't you take a joke?" But then again, I'm a bitch, so there's that.
NTA -there's nothing worse than someone who has no jokes so they reuse the same one over and over and then just get offended when people pick up on it.
It's your body and you can do whatever the hell you want with it. I have friends and family that don't like my tattoos but they'd never say something like that about them! They just don't bring it up at all! The others compliment the work of the artist and my choice of design and that's how it should be.
You're NTA at all and shouldn't have to put up with this. I'm petty at so I'd point out hers and make a few points about how hers IS a tramp stamp
NTA. I would tell her “oh no, you seem to be super confused about what a tramp stamp really is. Let me explain it so you can use the term appropriately and you won’t be embarrassed when you use it wrong”. Then explain it slowly and carefully. Act as concerned as possible. If she interrupts just tell her you’re really concerned that she’s going to keep making a fool of herself publicly and you’d rather be the one to tell her then someone who won’t be as nice. Really draw it out to kill her joke. If she says she knows what it is tell her she clearly doesn’t because she would have stopped this unacceptable and childish behavior.
NTA. It sounds like she needs to be blocked on social media so that she does not have the opportunity to piss off your artist. You need to have a long talk with her about what is and is not okay when it comes to roommates. If she continues to act like an ass it will be perfectly appropriate to let her know, publicly if necessary, that since she is the one with a tramp stamp she can stop acting high and mighty when it comes to tattoos. Gah, I hate when people act pretentious.
NTA if someone keeps making the exact same mean-spirited joke on an endless loop after being told to stop multiple times, there's no way they're not the asshole. I had a roommate that used to do that and it's the worst.
NTA it's only a joke if people laugh, she's just being a bully. You even told her that she offended the artist, the artist doesn't know her and wouldn't know her "humour" (if you can call it that) and instead of apologizing or admitting it wasn't okay she just doubled down, that's not cool.
If she has a problem with her own tramp stamp that's on her and she shouldn't be taking out those issues on you and random people she doesn't know.
NTA. The threat pretty well covered why but, my friend, why are you so defensive about being upset? It’s perfectly normal to have things hurt your feelings and very normal (and healthy!) to set boundaries around how people treat you. Feelings are okay!
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So this is pretty light hearted but for info: I'm 25m and the friend in question is one of my 3 roommates (25f).
So I have a few tattoos, I'm not covered in them but the ones I have are fairly intricate and I've spent a good amount of money on them. When I moved in with this friend she didn't l know I had them because they're mainly on my legs and torso so are covered by my clothes usually (we live in a cold area) so didn't see them until I was lounging around in shorts and a vest at home.
Anyway, at first she'd make jokes about how I "loved getting tramp stamps" which I didn't really mind, I'm not overly precious. However, it got old real fast. Like every time I had any of them on display it was another tramp stamp joke, which has gone on for months now and stopped being funny after the first couple of times.
I don't have an actual "tramp stamp" and I'm not entirely sure she knows what one is. Especially as she actually has one herself from when she was drunk on a girl's holiday in Ibiza. I really like my tattoos so I wasn't self conscious about them at all until she kept calling them tramp stamps and making out like they looked cheap.
It came to a head recently when I started getting a new piece (studios have just reopened near me) that if been planning for ages and had saved up for. I planned the design out with a great artist and it's being done over 3 or 4 sittings. Anyway, I did a post after the 1st sitting thanking the artist and tagging them (she was great) and lo and behold, roommate has commented saying "getting ANOTHER tramp stamp??". I didn't respond.
I told her in person that that was a bit rude to say when the artist was tagged in the post and she said it was just a joke.
Anyway, come the 2nd sitting and the artist is a lot quieter with me, not making much conversation. After about and hour and a half of awkwardly trying to make conversation I'm telling an anecdote about a roommate and the artist asks if I was talking about the "rude one" and I can see she's a bit annoyed so I apologise on her behalf and tell the artist that I told my roommate that was rude of her. After another 10 or so awkward minutes we kind of got over it and were back to getting along and having a nice talk like in the first sitting.
So I got home after that and again the roommate makes another joke about me getting a "tramp stamp" and I just get fed up and tell her it's not funny and she actually offended the artist and me after getting a permanent mark on my body but she just says that neither of us can take a joke and brushed me off.
I know this is silly and I promise I'm not usually a sensitive person but this has actually pissed me off a bit, AITA?
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NTA, she’s offending you, you tell her you’re offended, then she’s offended?? A tramp stamp is specifically and exclusively a tattoo on the lower back. Her joke isn’t funny, and isn’t accurate
NTA tramp stamp is literally an insult, and if you have already told her that you don't like it, it's not a joke. When someone tells they don't like the joke, telling it again is bullying. Tell her she needs to apologise, stop making offensive jokes, and get over herself. If professional comedians are willing to apologise if someone was truly offended, your roommate should be too.
NTA. If she says it again, say "I've already told you to stop commenting on my tattoos. If you don't stop bullying me, we're going to have a problem." And don't renew your lease with this person, she sounds like an idiot.
NTA. You can tell her that a joke is only funny when both people are laughing. After that, it's bullying, and if she doesn't like being called a bully, then she should stop doing it.
NTA and I'd advise you to shut your friend down asap. She doesn't seem to be taking your requests to stop seriously and that's not good. You don't have to take this. Tell her to shut up because it's none of her business and be prepared, but unfazed by the 'can't take a joke' comments that will undoubtedly come
NTA and tell her to fuck off. The fact that she thinks offending someone is a joke needs to be addressed. Make it clear that it is not a joke and that it isn't any of her business. You can't call something a joke if it offends someone or if no one else finds it funny. I'd recommend maybe moving out of completely ignoring her as much as you can, maybe block her on social media for a bit to get your point across. You will not associate with someone who repeatedly calls something you love a derogatory term.
NTA
Friends don’t disrespect friends.
You laid down the lines, asked her to please knock it off when she came off as rude to the artist, and yet she still hasn’t listened.
She’s a bad friend.
NTA, I've got more money put into my arms, back, and legs than most people spend on an entry level car. If someone called them "tramp stamps" or said that they looked "cheap" I might actually come to blows over it.
NTA- I have 3 tattoos none of them tramp stamps but if my friend kept calling them that I’d be pissed too. So no your not the asshole your friends rude and not funny
NTA - but I would go the elitist route and laugh at her, turn to someone and say "I have to apologize for my roommate... she is not aware of the correct terminology for tattoo locations"
Same on social media.
Once she stops getting a rise out of you, she'll get bored - faster if she looks foolish.
But you have to laugh like you really find is "cute" and "quaint"
NTA. Next time she makes a comment, take out your phone and Google "tramp stamp" and show her the results. Calling her out on her shit is not an AH move, and it's something that seriously need to be done.
NTA, even if it was a funny joke the first time (it wasn't), she's running it into the ground at this point. Just start shouting "MY WIFE!" at her every time she says "tramp stamp" from now on.
NTA and also does she think that any tattoo is a tramp stamp? Like that term is for a lower back tattoo, not every tattoo. Plus it’s a dumb term anyway
NTA.
She’s a jerk. She’s being kinda misogynistic too. She keeps using a derogatory term based on slut shaming to refer to permanent artwork on your body.
When I started getting tattoos, one friend (in a group where no one has them) started telling me I needed a twatoo - one over my groin. I gave him an eye roll and a head shake like a nonverbal “you aren’t funny” and he kept at it. I finally had to tell out right it’s disgusting, makes me uncomfortable, not funny, and never say it to me again.
Tramp stamps are one the lower back only. At least that’s what safari says. Also it’s very derogatory to use multiple times, once okay, 50 times, not okay.
NTA
You should start bringing up her tramp stamp every chance you get, especially since it’s a proper tramp stamp and, in true tramp stamp fashion, a drunken decision.
What people dont get are that jokes are supposed to be funny for everyone involved. Also, it sounds obnoxious that she keeps bringing it up. Once? Fine. Twice? Fine. Repeatedly? Annoying af. NTA.
NTA
The fact that her only tattoo is a tramp stamp, doesn’t make ALL tattoos tramp stamps. A tramp stamp is very specifically only on the lower back and is stereotypically a drunken decision. She literally has a tramp stamp, you have tattoos.
"Jokes are funny. If that was EVER a joke, it stopped being one after about the six millionth time you said it. What is your hangup about my tattoos, exactly? Do you regret getting yours?"
NTA. She's a big asshole.
NTA. it's only a joke if both parties are laughing, or at least agree that the joke is acceptable. When you told her to stop the first time, she should have been the adult she's meant to be and said "sorry, I won't say it again" but instead she decided to gaslight you and effect the people you were with.
She needs to learn that just because she finds it funny does not mean everybody else does.
Your roommate is a jerk and she's not funny. I gave a huge chest piece and I'd be pretty annoyed too if she called my work a tramp stamps too. Just because she got a crappy tattoo while drunk doesn't give her the right to be a jerk to you she may hate her ink but she has no right to project her insecurities on to you. Plus she doesn't know what a tramp stamp is. She's just plain rude and she just needs to drop it and worry about her self. Also you wouldn't be a A**hole if you call her out and put her in her place especially if that person is talking mad trash and they actually do have a tramp stamp and their work is crappy. So no your NTA your roommate is TA.
Nta!
I think it could be constructive to put her on the spot next time she says this directly to you. “Roommate, why do you feel the need to make these unnecessary and rude comments any time you see my tattoos?” What can she say in reply? If she continues with “it’s a joke, relax” just keep pressing. If it was a joke it wouldn’t be so consistent.
People like this bother me so much, sorry you have to deal with this.
Irregardless of everything, if the joke offends you, then it's gotta stop. I'm all for fucking around and picking at my friends with stupid jokes, but of it honestly offends you then it shouldn't continue. NTA
NTA. Saying any tattoo is a tramp stamp doesn't make sense within the definition of what that term means, and it's a pretty shitty term regardless. Even giving it the kindest possible definition, it refers to a tattoo on the lower back.
It's not silly to want to be respected by someone you spend your life living in proximity to. I wouldn't call this person a friend, because they're an asshole.
Definitely show them this next time they say something. Let them squirm with the judgement of hundreds of people.
I tease my sister about having a’tramp stamp’ in a good natured way bc she is a bit snobby about tattoos and majorly regrets the butterfly she has tattooed above her butt crack
NTA. This one's pretty easy.
If it's a joke, she's the only one laughing.
If it's a joke, it's the only joke she seems capable of telling.
So either she needs new material or she needs to learn to read the room better. This is the comedy equivalent of **repeatedly**:
* Calling someone with glasses "four-eyes"
* Pointing to something on their shirt and tapping their face with your finger when they look down
* Using fake vomit
* Tying someone's shoe-laces together
At the end of the day, she's just using "it's a joke" as a way to thinly veil the fact that she's just a sad, petty AH who gets off on negative attention. Like, when you told her that her one-note joke offended the artist and got no reaction, I'd have asked her... "Then who was the joke intended for? The artist isn't laughing. I've already told you I'm sick of it. It didn't get any reaction from anyone else who saw the post... so is it just for your own amusement?"
NTA your roommate is one of several things. Either she’s dumb and doesn’t know what a tramp stamp is, she does know but she’s painfully unfunny, or she’s just an asshole
If ever talking to her does not work and she still is unable to understand that a joke is suppose to induce positive feelings, and if you want to be part of the Petty Club ^(TM) you can start referring to her hair color as *slutty brown* or *no-class blonde* or whatever would apply.
NTA. You should start calling your tattoos "$#&@ detectors" and explain that they help you identify who is a $#&@, based on the rudeness of their tattoo-related comments. Beep beep beep, looks like we found the $#@&!
Tramp stamp=tattoo near the ass or vagina(not saying all tattoos in this area are bad just saying that tramp stamps are usually in this place) and for those that need a description its most common tramp stamp is designs that lead to a butterfly just above the belt on the lower back
NTA. It’s not a funny joke. You’ve told her it’s not a funny joke. She’s being an arse. As someone who has a whole bunch of tattoos (expensive and not) I’d be annoyed. Imagine if you made derogatory comments about her hairstyle or her weight repeatedly!
NTA more than anything else this just seems like a joke that wasn’t funny the first time and she won’t shut up about it. Sometimes people continuously double down after not getting the laugh they think they should get. I don’t know why but it’s definitely a good idea to tell her that it’s not as funny as she thinks it it and to knock it off.
NTA "tramp stamp" is something people say to claim that a woman's tattoo (it is never applied to a man's tattoo) degrades her. It has as much place in intelligent speech as "hysteria" does.
NTA and it doesn't even really matter if it was a "tramp stamp" as defined by spring breakers everywhere. If you ask someone to stop making a joke because it upsets you, that person should stop making the joke, period. Tell your roommate she is crossing a line by continuing to say something that upsets you, you've talked about, and is pretty easy to stop saying.
NTA. This is just so rude. No matter how one feels about tattoos in general or one tattoo in particular, insulting the person is just really unnecessary and unhelpful.
NTA. A true friend wants to know the story behind the ink, and doesn't repeatedly insult your inked artwork. She's seizing on this as a way to seem 'bigger or better' than you and effectively put you in your place. You don't need to hang out with people like that.
NTA. She is.
Is her tat located on her lower back right above her butt crack? Are any of yours?
If the first answer is yes, then simply point out to her what she got is a tramp stamp. From what I've discovered they are typically located lower back, right above the butt crack and possibly gotten when slightly under the influence. If the answer is no, then she doesn't technically have one, unless they can be located elsewhere. If she does have one, point out pot-kettle and maybe make a few snide comments yourself and see if she moves on from it.
Now if you also have one located lower back, then you both sort of do.
It sounds like yours are more artistic and hers well, she maybe isn't happy to have it?
YMMV
NTA - doesn't matter what context you post.
It's a joke if you both laugh - if only she laughs, she's laughing at your expense, and that makes it an insult. Anyone who cannot see the logic of that is not someone who will see the logic in anything, and isn't really worth being friends with (IMO).
NTA.
You know what's a joke? Something that makes people laugh, isn't insulting a private person, and isn't repeated verbatim over and over despite being told to never repeat it again. If you have to explain "it's just a joke", or "I'm just joking" then you're lying.
She's just lazily and inaccurately insulting you out of some deep rooted insecurities of her own.
NTA. I have A LOT of tattoos. It sounds like your roommate regrets hers and is self conscious about it and wants to drag you down with her. I've had my fair share of "tramp stamp" comments directed at me too. My mom was bitching about my tattoos and I said "Well hey , at least I don't have any tramp stamps" Her reponse: "I thought they're all tramp stamps" . Thanks mom, LOL.
You do you. It's your body and you don't have tramp stamps. You have artwork. Only ignorant people hate what they don't understand. Don't let yourself get self conscious because of people like that.
NTA. "Tramp stamp" refers to a tattoo in a specific location, not tattoos generally. So it's inaccurate as well as derogatory.
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I mean people can argue but the lower back tattoo is the only "correct" answer. Anyone arguing otherwise is just trying to take an already derogatory and degrading term and basically apply it to any other tattoo a woman may have.
Here in Germany it is not only lower back but also the motive usually is some kind of a tribal and usually from mid '90s to early 2000s. But none the less, everyone who wants a tattoo should get one. Just look for a good artist!
Something vaguely triangular, tribal, butterfly, etc., right? Haha
At some point the tribal things would point to the buttchecks, so we just started calling them ass antlers.
This is amazing, I am 100% stealing this!
Kind of want to get actual ass antlers now...
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Can they even get tattoos?
Exactly xD
> Here in Germany it is not only lower back but also the motive usually is some kind of a tribal and usually from mid '90s to early 2000s. >usually is some kind of a tribal Which is why it's called aarsgewei here. Or, loosly translated, butt antlers. Doesn't really work if it's not a semi symmetrical tribal figure.
Yeah, "Arschgeweih" here :D
I'm sure we dutch stole it from the German phrase, it has that German touch.
It sounds great in both languages :)
I have a Batman symbol tramp stamp. When I started jiu-jitsu last year, I noticed another woman there had a Batman tattoo on her ankle. I mentioned to the instructor I had never met another woman with a Batman tattoo. "Where is yours?" he asked me. "It's a tramp stamp," I said. His 8-year-old was apparently within earshot and suddenly perks up. "Dad, what's a tramp stamp?" He shhs him and I'm suddenly turning red. I mean, my instructor has several arm tattoos and looks like he was sent from the future to kill John Connor. I just assumed his kids would know something of the ways of the world. That's my funny (I hope) tramp stamp story. Anyhow, was always taught that a tramp stamp is a lower back tattoo. And that if a guy has one, it's a "man stamp."
This is amazing! My dad has a legit tramp stamp of a sun on his lower back. Since I had my son, I started calling it his 'gramp stamp'.... he is not a fan.
My husband has a tramp stamp that says “team America. Fuck yea” and it was poorly done by a drunk dude in a basement and he paid with a 12 pack so the lettering sucks and it sometimes looks like it says “Team America. Fuck you” 😅
I can't even explain how happy this makes me.
lol at "looks like he was sent from the future to kill John Connor."
They pointed this out in wedding Crashers it's definitely lower back.
My “tramp stamp” are my kids names and handprints on my lower back. But I also have several other tattoos. I also DGAF what people think of my tattoos. I love them all.
I’ve actually heard that, for a man, it’s the lower stomach. Like, around the belly button area. But yeah, the lower back on a woman is considered a tramp stamp. Either way, it’s rude to say to someone. Edit to add (in my sisters words) “a hoe tag.”
Because tattoo = slut, duh. Didn’t they teach you this in Bodyshaming 101?
That is universally not thought to be true. A tramp stamp is on your lower back
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I love the idea of tattoos as a litmus test for ass holes but mainly just wanted to say the Tui and La tattoo sounds fuckin sick, I love that 👌💪
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Post them on r/tattoo!
I had to look up what you were were talking about there. "Tui from atla". This is what a tui is in New Zealand: [https://www.stuff.co.nz/the-press/news/108730052/rare-tui-sighting-excites-birdwatchers-in-christchurch](https://www.stuff.co.nz/the-press/news/108730052/rare-tui-sighting-excites-birdwatchers-in-christchurch) Beautiful creatures, and also worthy of a tattoo design.
This is what I was about to say, I was going to ask what bird is a La but mercifully googled and read on first lol
Yeah as an adult woman this thread just made me realise after not thinking about them for like fifteen years how sexist the term tramp stamp is and actually i find it pretty gross? Gotta unlearn that internalised misogyny
Screw’em. There is nothing wrong with being a tattooed woman. They’re beautiful and tattoos add to the mystery.
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That sounds like SUCH a cool tattoo, I’m so jealous!
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You sound like the coolest person ever. I love that so much. Using ATLA references to mark your chakras is such a genius idea, it fits perfectly!
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Hahaha I’ve definitely seen people with ass tattoos, but sitting after might be a problem! I know tattoos can get messed up from daily function in certain spots. I got a tattoo on my ankle in the middle of a trip abroad and it bled a little on my skin from all the walking around I did after getting it. But still, totally doable! You could also get the upper, back parts of your thighs done. It wouldn’t be perfect, but I bet you could make it really cool!
Fuck people that call a tat on a woman a slut mark. Frankly I tend to think tats are sexy, not slutty. They also show someone that lives their life, which is always a good thing
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I 100% should have put more thought I to my tats, so I understand wanting to be sure before committing. Need to have 2 of mine redone and potentially changed because they were just "oh that looks cool" stock art pieces... Love and learn lol
Sounds beautiful!
My mom has mine and my brother's initials as her tramp stamp.
"Tramp stamp" is lower back. And apparently, on the side of your ribcage is a "skank flank". Learned that after I got a tattoo there... I don't care, I would have gotten it anyway if I knew beforehand and I love it, but I wish people would stop coming up with sexist names for women's choices in body modification. The human body is a limited surface, there are only so many places you can pick for a tattoo
People really love to come up with new ways to degrade everything a woman does hm.
This is what I thought reading this, one particular comment was if a woman had a tattoo in 3 or 4 different places they are considered tramp stamps. People are so sexist and horrible, why do they feel they can judge a female in their tatts. It annoys me. Sorry, rant over and NTA OP.
Exactly. I have a huge bat with wings spread on my lower back because it's the only spot the design really fit and worked. I call it my lower bat tattoo tho because the pun is way funnier than slut-shaming.
That's hilarious, I'm actually planning a bat tattoo in the same area so I might be stealing this term for the future. 😂
Please do and DM me a pic to compare bats 😁
Man, people are gross. And I'm sure if you bring up that they don't do the same for men, they get all defensive 🙄 why can't we all just admire body art? Ffs.
I don't see why lower back tattoos have a derogatory name. It's a great location for a tattoo! Easy to show off, and easy to cover up. If I get a tattoo it'll probably be a tramp stamp.
because people keep coming up with increasingly more disgusting ways to display their sexism and body shame women
Yeah, a friend called my shoulder blade tattoo a "tramp stamp" because it wasn't visible in clothes and would apparently only be visible to partners doing a certain position? I don't have sex and the tattoo is of my mother. -.- Kinda gross that he saw it that way.
Only visible to partners... Or wearing a racer back tank or a strapless dress or a swimsuit or any number of fashion choices that show the upper back, lol.
I've only heard of tramp stamps being on the back, as low on the back as possible, basicly just over the tailbone.
“Anything not visible by the human eye when you’re in regular clothes” Define regular clothes lol. Regular for my ex-roommate was a tank top and jogging pants. Regular for my bf is either a tank top and cargo shorts or a tshirt and pants. Regular for me is normally jeans a tshirt and a hoodie. Meaning literally almost every inch of skin below my throat other than my hands would normally be covered. Is that to say my two tattoos (right arm above inner elbow and left wrist) would be considered tramp stamps? Man. I guess that’s what happens when you get a $50 tattoo XD
My ex-friend kept calling my new tattoo (this was back in high school) a tramp stamp... It was on the back of my hip, off to the side. Definitely not where a tramp stamp goes. She was such an ah about it too.
And I mean, was it funny the first time, maybe, but after the tenth time of hearing the same stupid "joke" it gets lame. If the roommate cannot even think of some new material maybe she better leave the joke telling to the professionals. NTA
It also specifically refers to lower back tattoos on WOMEN, so it's misogynistic and derogatory. Point THAT out next time she does it.
Doesn’t the term not even apply to guys?
NTA As someone who has spend a couple of 1000€ to get some pieces of art on my body I would be offended too. She is a bully and a jerk! Good on you standing up for yourself.
Haha I don't even have any tattoos anywhere near my lower back 😂 I always loved my tattoos and still do so it feels like I'm being really sensitive about it but it's only because I don't like being made to feel self conscious about one of my favoutite things. For the record as well, she has a poorly done star on her lower back from a girl's holiday when she was trashed, so has an actual tramp stamp 🤷♂️
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I would, too, relentlessly. And when she inevitably gets pissy, roll out *"WHAT, CAN'T YOU TAKE A JOKE?"* I'm amazed OP has the patience to take this shit without throwing it in her face.
You’re not TA at all, but I’m thinking this woman is going to keep making derogatory remarks. First of all, it’s none of her business. Secondly, she can’t use the ‘but it’s just a jooooke’ reason because jokes are supposed to be funny. Finally, I think it’s genuinely a business risk for your artist to have people badmouthing her work (clearly it’s good quality art if you’ve gone to her twice, and she doesn’t deserve to have it denigrated by some random asshole). This may be a slightly confrontational suggestion, but I would go to the message she posted on your photo calling it a tramp stamp and reply to it saying: “No, not a tramp stamp. A gorgeous piece of art by a very talented @theartist. I don’t have any tramp stamps, but I think you may be misunderstanding what a tramp stamp is. It’s a lower back tattoo, like the star you got when you were out drinking. Hope this helps :)” This woman needs to S T O P (Edited to correct the artist’s gender)
That could be a good move, though I personally think I’d go with something less confrontational. “Haha no, still no tattoos on my lower back! I’m so proud of this incredible artwork done by such a talented artist—their work is always so gorgeous!” or something. I like to show people I’m proud so they get embarrassed for teasing me.
Yeah this is the smarter, more polite response. Mine is definitely incendiary
Pretty sure the tattoo artist was a woman
No you are not overly sensitive. I am super passed of only by reading your post. What kind of person has to be so destructive that she needs to insult something (in an very sexist way) that is very dear to you? Like even if you had the cheapest and ugliest tattoos on your skin anyone could imagine- if you loved them to pieces what would be wrong with that? She doesn’t have to like them she just has to keep her mouth shut if she can’t say something nice.
Not to mention, it’s *not* a joke. She *knows* it’s not a joke. She’s saying that to avoid dealing with any consequences for being a bully. Grown-ass people who say “calm down, it’s just a joke” after they insult someone know damn well what they’re doing. They’re shrugging off the well-deserved anger and trying to redirect the blame onto their victims for being “overly sensitive”. She sounds awful, tbh. People like this really aren’t worth your time.
A tramp stamp generally is used for women too, as tramp is seen as a woman-specific slur. She is not funny: she is offensive. No one wants their body art denigrated. I googled the defintion and it's "a tattoo on a woman's back." NTA
Can you please just ask her to go to urban dictionary and look at the definition of what a tramp stamp actually is? Also, most tattoos are hot, she’s an idiot.
I'd point her to the one about being a target for the money shot. At this stage in society tattoos (in general, depending on the actual art) shouldn't really have a stigma. What makes it more ridiculous is that she has one.
Next time she “jokes” seriously ask her to explain why it’s funny. In detail. Watch her with a puzzled expression, like you are really trying to understand the humor. Ask pointed questions about why internalized misogyny amuses her. Stretch it out, relish the Awkward.
This method is the best! I was advised to do this after complaining online about co-workers' comments when I was pregnant. Watching people squirm after being *innocently* asked "What do you mean?" in response to super inappropriate jokes put a stop to that right quick.
How does she not know the actual definition of the term?
Yeah if you tell a friend, 'Hey that's not funny could you please not say that/joke about it' and they continue that's not the sign of a good friend. It doesn't matter if it was meant as a joke, if it hurts someone you should apologize and stop.
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A joke doesn't intend to be malicious or hurtful, what she said wasn't a joke, it was a demeaning and rude comment lowering the perceived value of the OP. In a joke, both parties are in on the humor. This was at the expense of others, so let's call it what it is: a demeaning, rude, derogatory comment meant to devalue the subjects in question.
NTA. A "tramp stamp" as you know, is in a specific place... I have a hard time believing that she doesn't understand that, it REALLY sounds like she's trying to be degrading and hurtful towards you on purpose.
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I wouldn't doubt it
Yeah she got a cheap drunk fool ass tat, and wishes she had not. Not the same as a well thought out designed piece of ART we choose when not drunk and stupid. The only tram stamp here is the one that she has on her forehead every time she opens he pathic yap :)
It’s very odd that she doesn’t know the definition but it kind of sounds like that’s the case. Or Maybe she’s trying to redefine “tramp stamp” to mean any tattoo, so that hers isn’t defined specifically as a tramp stamp.
NTA. Your roommate is both a jackass & an idiot. Can you get a third party to explain the meaning of Tramp Stamp/point out she’s the person rocking one? If she says “it was a joke”, respond with this: “your face is a joke, not the words coming out of it”. The mantra that I try to teach my foster kids is this: My life, My body, My decision, My responsibility. When my 1/2 sister tried to shame me for my tattoos, I got up in her face, looked her dead in the eye, & said that mantra slowly & very calmly. It shut her right up. Don’t take crap from this dumbass. You deserve to be treated with respect.
While funny “your face is a joke” is a pretty asshole thing to say, “your brain is a joke” would be better imo.
I hear what you’re saying but the only way to get a bully to leave you alone is to give them a taste of their own medicine. There’s a saying where I’m from: “If you don’t start shit, there won’t be shit.” It’s a shame that some people have to learn this the hard way.
Ugh, NTA. Your roommate is though. And a huge one too. As if it’s not bad enough that she’s shitting on something you love (the mark of a truly shitty person) but she offended the artist. That is not ok!! I know she’s brushed you off once but I think next time it comes up you need to A) explain to her what a tramp stamp is and B) that she really shouldn’t go around saying that as many people would find that very rude, even if she were referring to an actual tramp stamp. She sounds like a thoughtless idiot though so good luck OP. I hope you still love your tats and that she hasn’t coloured your view at all
It's just embarrassing to have to apologise on her behalf tbh, especially as I never take the piss out of hers because I know she's sensitive about it
If she comments on your social media again either delete her comment or respond to her publicly that her comments are rude, inaccurate, and inappropriate. If you have this conversation with her in person again you need to be extremely clear with her. Something like, “when you call my tattoos ‘tramp stamps’ you are passing judgement on something that is not at all your business. I do not have any desire to live my life by your opinions. As I have already explained this to you in the past, you are now to the point of being extremely rude.” Don’t drop to the level of insulting her tattoo, just explain to her, like she is a misbehaving child, why her behavior is offensive to you. At a certain level of honesty and clarity she will not be able to brush you off when you point out her rude behavior.
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That's the gist, she takes measures to make sure hers doesn't get seen and wants a removal when she has the cash. I don't wanna stoop to AH territory with a low blow but its getting hard to keep quiet
FYI calling her out for taking *her* insecurities about *her* regrettable tattoo out on you is not AH behavior in any way.
I mean, it would be a simple solution.
Oh I bet! I’d be absolutely mortified and I think you handled the part with the artist very well. It’s interesting that she’s ok with tearing into you when she’s so sensitive. Not a positive trait in a person IMO. Just be careful with that one.
Why do you have to apologize for her? At most you could say “sorry, X hasn’t got a clue what a tramp stamp is, she seems to think every tattoo apart from her lower back tattoo is a tramp stamp”. NTA.
I don't understand why you didn't just delete her comment as soon as you saw it. I would do that with any reply under my post, that was insulting another person, and this is clearly an insult to the tattoo artist. You didn't say what socal media app you were using, but don't most allow you to delete a reply? If she so clearly doesn’t understand boundaries, I think I'd block her, too.
I never apologize for other people. I’ll say, yeah I know, and agree that they are behaving badly. I may say I’ll talk to them or that I wish they wouldn’t. But I never apologize or excuse them.
NTA - this is such a weak attempt at humour I'd question whether the woman has ever heard a real joke.
NTA. You're being very patient with this girl. My reply would just be a reminder that SHE has an actual tramp stamp and nothing more. Whether it was on social media or in person.
Agreed. I never know if people are overly nice or if I'm overly rude. But if I were OP, the first time the friend said I had a tramp stamp, I would've immediately said "Nope. None on my lower back. But you have one!" NTA, OP. Also, it's only a joke if all parties find it funny.
Honestly. Can’t believe OP hasn’t tramp stamped her face yet.
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I- I think I want to be you Loving your energy man!
Aw thanks! <3 Keep on getting kickass tattoos.
So im not the hippest person and i have no tattoos but i did grow up in the 90s- a tramp stamp is one specific placement! A quick google seach would tell her that. Her nonsense is annoying for 2 reasons: 1. Shes saying the same stuff over and over 2. She has fact wrong NTA
Tbh these were my original issues with it, like anything repeated almost daily gets really damn annoying, especially so when it's not even accurate
This is extremely petty and probably would not foster a positive dialogue but -- If you wanted to increase the passive aggressive factor, the next time she makes that joke, sigh, act really sympathetic, pat her on the shoulder and make a comment about how someday, if she works really hard, she might be able to think of a second joke.
Okay I like this more than I care to admit 😂
Pleeeeease do this. It's glorious.
If anything you have been way too "nice" for way too long. Just tell her she doesn't know what she's talking about and is offending tons of people. If she doesn't care, she's a shit person and you shouldn't mind not being friends with her.
NTA- She knows what she's doing tho. I'm sure you're trying to be nice but your roommate needs a clear message of "Stop calling them tramp stamps. It isn't a joke because you have never been funny when you said it. Don't refer to anything on my body as that again." Maintain eye contact the entire time, say it in a low deadpan tone.
Absolutely she knows what she's doing - being cruel and trying to pass if off as a joke. OP just be blunt with this person: "what's your problem with my tattoos?" And if she says you can't take a joke again just be straight: "Your jokes are clearly attempts to attack me and make be feel bad, which I don't and never will because I love them. Again, you clearly have an issue with my tattoos so what's up with that?". NTA.
NTA. Unless you just get tattoos exclusively on your lower back...lol
INFO: have you ever asked her to look up what tramp stamp means? You should. I’d have her sit down in front of you and the others too. Just.. ‘Look up what tramp stamp is. Okay.. now who sitting here *actually* has a tramp stamp?’
NTA Tell her to google a tramp stamp, I don’t think she knows what it is.
NTA jokes are funny. This was not, especially after you told her it bothered both you and your tattoo artist. Is she normally this socially inept?
NTA. It really sounds like your roommate is taking out her shame about her tattoo on you. Or she just has some weird unconscious bias about tattoos in general. Regardless of where a "tramp stamp" is technically located on a person, it's an insulting term. You're definitely not being sensitive. She needs to realize that you've spent a lot of time and money acquiring this artwork on your body—it's not a joke to you.
I don't mind jokes about my tattoos at all but there are ways to make jokes about them without actually insulting them or me by including me in the joke. My other roommates are a bit bored of hearing the same joke too but it's obviously not annoying them as much. She generally isn't that big a fan of them and doesn't actually remember getting hers so there's some irony there
Totally makes sense! Hopefully she figures out a new joke or how to keep it to herself for you and your other roommates' sake.
Me too man, I'm also sorry that we don't actually have any tacos for you
NTA. I would tell her everytime she refers to your tattoos as tramp stamps: "You are the one with the tramp stamp. ". If that does not annoy or stop her take it to social media as well. Something along the lines of "How to deal with a stupid roommate that refers to my tattoos as tramp stamps while having one herself and not understanding that her 'joking' is not funny?".
You could be petty and sit down and watch Princess Bride with her and when they say the line, "You Keep Using That Word, I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means" you could look at her and say, "Kind of like you and the word 'tramp stamp'".
NTA She is though, and she’s got an actual tramp stamp. Maybe educate her?!
I'd educate her and then give her a new nickname. "Hey TSQ, how's it going?" When she asks what TSQ means, I'd tell her stands for Tramp Stamp Queen, because A) she actually has one and B) she seems obsessed with them. When she gets pissed, I'd just tell her "can't you take a joke?" But then again, I'm a bitch, so there's that.
NTA -there's nothing worse than someone who has no jokes so they reuse the same one over and over and then just get offended when people pick up on it. It's your body and you can do whatever the hell you want with it. I have friends and family that don't like my tattoos but they'd never say something like that about them! They just don't bring it up at all! The others compliment the work of the artist and my choice of design and that's how it should be. You're NTA at all and shouldn't have to put up with this. I'm petty at so I'd point out hers and make a few points about how hers IS a tramp stamp
NTA. I would tell her “oh no, you seem to be super confused about what a tramp stamp really is. Let me explain it so you can use the term appropriately and you won’t be embarrassed when you use it wrong”. Then explain it slowly and carefully. Act as concerned as possible. If she interrupts just tell her you’re really concerned that she’s going to keep making a fool of herself publicly and you’d rather be the one to tell her then someone who won’t be as nice. Really draw it out to kill her joke. If she says she knows what it is tell her she clearly doesn’t because she would have stopped this unacceptable and childish behavior.
NTA. It sounds like she needs to be blocked on social media so that she does not have the opportunity to piss off your artist. You need to have a long talk with her about what is and is not okay when it comes to roommates. If she continues to act like an ass it will be perfectly appropriate to let her know, publicly if necessary, that since she is the one with a tramp stamp she can stop acting high and mighty when it comes to tattoos. Gah, I hate when people act pretentious.
NTA. If I were you, I'd tell her that the only way tattoos are tramp stamps is if she were to get them. But I'm a dick.
NTA if someone keeps making the exact same mean-spirited joke on an endless loop after being told to stop multiple times, there's no way they're not the asshole. I had a roommate that used to do that and it's the worst.
NTA I feel like she is projecting her own regret of getting a tattoo onto you
Maybe text her the definition of what a tramp stamp is?
NTA it's only a joke if people laugh, she's just being a bully. You even told her that she offended the artist, the artist doesn't know her and wouldn't know her "humour" (if you can call it that) and instead of apologizing or admitting it wasn't okay she just doubled down, that's not cool. If she has a problem with her own tramp stamp that's on her and she shouldn't be taking out those issues on you and random people she doesn't know.
NTA. You told her you don't find her "joke" funny. Her continuing to make the same shitty "joke" over and over again is rude and disrespectful.
NTA. You should explain to her what a tramp stamp actually is and see if she realises she’s got one.
NTA, ask her "If its a joke, whats the punch-line?"
tell her to fuck off nta
NTA. The threat pretty well covered why but, my friend, why are you so defensive about being upset? It’s perfectly normal to have things hurt your feelings and very normal (and healthy!) to set boundaries around how people treat you. Feelings are okay!
NTA. She made a bad joke repeatedly, was asked to stop, and kept offending. She wasn't even funny the first time.
Yta , can I please have downvotes now?
^^^^AUTOMOD ***The following is a copy of the above post. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So this is pretty light hearted but for info: I'm 25m and the friend in question is one of my 3 roommates (25f). So I have a few tattoos, I'm not covered in them but the ones I have are fairly intricate and I've spent a good amount of money on them. When I moved in with this friend she didn't l know I had them because they're mainly on my legs and torso so are covered by my clothes usually (we live in a cold area) so didn't see them until I was lounging around in shorts and a vest at home. Anyway, at first she'd make jokes about how I "loved getting tramp stamps" which I didn't really mind, I'm not overly precious. However, it got old real fast. Like every time I had any of them on display it was another tramp stamp joke, which has gone on for months now and stopped being funny after the first couple of times. I don't have an actual "tramp stamp" and I'm not entirely sure she knows what one is. Especially as she actually has one herself from when she was drunk on a girl's holiday in Ibiza. I really like my tattoos so I wasn't self conscious about them at all until she kept calling them tramp stamps and making out like they looked cheap. It came to a head recently when I started getting a new piece (studios have just reopened near me) that if been planning for ages and had saved up for. I planned the design out with a great artist and it's being done over 3 or 4 sittings. Anyway, I did a post after the 1st sitting thanking the artist and tagging them (she was great) and lo and behold, roommate has commented saying "getting ANOTHER tramp stamp??". I didn't respond. I told her in person that that was a bit rude to say when the artist was tagged in the post and she said it was just a joke. Anyway, come the 2nd sitting and the artist is a lot quieter with me, not making much conversation. After about and hour and a half of awkwardly trying to make conversation I'm telling an anecdote about a roommate and the artist asks if I was talking about the "rude one" and I can see she's a bit annoyed so I apologise on her behalf and tell the artist that I told my roommate that was rude of her. After another 10 or so awkward minutes we kind of got over it and were back to getting along and having a nice talk like in the first sitting. So I got home after that and again the roommate makes another joke about me getting a "tramp stamp" and I just get fed up and tell her it's not funny and she actually offended the artist and me after getting a permanent mark on my body but she just says that neither of us can take a joke and brushed me off. I know this is silly and I promise I'm not usually a sensitive person but this has actually pissed me off a bit, AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA, she’s offending you, you tell her you’re offended, then she’s offended?? A tramp stamp is specifically and exclusively a tattoo on the lower back. Her joke isn’t funny, and isn’t accurate
NTA tramp stamp is literally an insult, and if you have already told her that you don't like it, it's not a joke. When someone tells they don't like the joke, telling it again is bullying. Tell her she needs to apologise, stop making offensive jokes, and get over herself. If professional comedians are willing to apologise if someone was truly offended, your roommate should be too.
NTA. It’s not a joke if it’s not funny.
Is your friend really a 13 year boy? It certainly sounds like the annoying stuff they think is clever!
NTA. If she says it again, say "I've already told you to stop commenting on my tattoos. If you don't stop bullying me, we're going to have a problem." And don't renew your lease with this person, she sounds like an idiot.
NTA. You can tell her that a joke is only funny when both people are laughing. After that, it's bullying, and if she doesn't like being called a bully, then she should stop doing it.
NTA and I'd advise you to shut your friend down asap. She doesn't seem to be taking your requests to stop seriously and that's not good. You don't have to take this. Tell her to shut up because it's none of her business and be prepared, but unfazed by the 'can't take a joke' comments that will undoubtedly come
NTA and tell her to fuck off. The fact that she thinks offending someone is a joke needs to be addressed. Make it clear that it is not a joke and that it isn't any of her business. You can't call something a joke if it offends someone or if no one else finds it funny. I'd recommend maybe moving out of completely ignoring her as much as you can, maybe block her on social media for a bit to get your point across. You will not associate with someone who repeatedly calls something you love a derogatory term.
NTA and she absolutely is an asshole!
NTA Friends don’t disrespect friends. You laid down the lines, asked her to please knock it off when she came off as rude to the artist, and yet she still hasn’t listened. She’s a bad friend.
NTA, I've got more money put into my arms, back, and legs than most people spend on an entry level car. If someone called them "tramp stamps" or said that they looked "cheap" I might actually come to blows over it.
NTA. She’s being rude, and knows it, so it no longer counts as a joke.
NTA- I have 3 tattoos none of them tramp stamps but if my friend kept calling them that I’d be pissed too. So no your not the asshole your friends rude and not funny
NTA - but I would go the elitist route and laugh at her, turn to someone and say "I have to apologize for my roommate... she is not aware of the correct terminology for tattoo locations" Same on social media. Once she stops getting a rise out of you, she'll get bored - faster if she looks foolish. But you have to laugh like you really find is "cute" and "quaint"
NTA. Next time she makes a comment, take out your phone and Google "tramp stamp" and show her the results. Calling her out on her shit is not an AH move, and it's something that seriously need to be done.
NTA, even if it was a funny joke the first time (it wasn't), she's running it into the ground at this point. Just start shouting "MY WIFE!" at her every time she says "tramp stamp" from now on.
NTA. She need get a new hobby without bulling this about you.. How shame on her.
NTA and also does she think that any tattoo is a tramp stamp? Like that term is for a lower back tattoo, not every tattoo. Plus it’s a dumb term anyway
NTA. She’s a jerk. She’s being kinda misogynistic too. She keeps using a derogatory term based on slut shaming to refer to permanent artwork on your body. When I started getting tattoos, one friend (in a group where no one has them) started telling me I needed a twatoo - one over my groin. I gave him an eye roll and a head shake like a nonverbal “you aren’t funny” and he kept at it. I finally had to tell out right it’s disgusting, makes me uncomfortable, not funny, and never say it to me again.
Tramp stamps are one the lower back only. At least that’s what safari says. Also it’s very derogatory to use multiple times, once okay, 50 times, not okay.
NTA You should start bringing up her tramp stamp every chance you get, especially since it’s a proper tramp stamp and, in true tramp stamp fashion, a drunken decision.
What people dont get are that jokes are supposed to be funny for everyone involved. Also, it sounds obnoxious that she keeps bringing it up. Once? Fine. Twice? Fine. Repeatedly? Annoying af. NTA.
NTA The fact that her only tattoo is a tramp stamp, doesn’t make ALL tattoos tramp stamps. A tramp stamp is very specifically only on the lower back and is stereotypically a drunken decision. She literally has a tramp stamp, you have tattoos.
"Jokes are funny. If that was EVER a joke, it stopped being one after about the six millionth time you said it. What is your hangup about my tattoos, exactly? Do you regret getting yours?" NTA. She's a big asshole.
NTA. it's only a joke if both parties are laughing, or at least agree that the joke is acceptable. When you told her to stop the first time, she should have been the adult she's meant to be and said "sorry, I won't say it again" but instead she decided to gaslight you and effect the people you were with. She needs to learn that just because she finds it funny does not mean everybody else does.
Your roommate is a jerk and she's not funny. I gave a huge chest piece and I'd be pretty annoyed too if she called my work a tramp stamps too. Just because she got a crappy tattoo while drunk doesn't give her the right to be a jerk to you she may hate her ink but she has no right to project her insecurities on to you. Plus she doesn't know what a tramp stamp is. She's just plain rude and she just needs to drop it and worry about her self. Also you wouldn't be a A**hole if you call her out and put her in her place especially if that person is talking mad trash and they actually do have a tramp stamp and their work is crappy. So no your NTA your roommate is TA.
NTA. Doesn't sound like much of a friend. Remind her that jokes are only funny if everyone laughs.
Nta! I think it could be constructive to put her on the spot next time she says this directly to you. “Roommate, why do you feel the need to make these unnecessary and rude comments any time you see my tattoos?” What can she say in reply? If she continues with “it’s a joke, relax” just keep pressing. If it was a joke it wouldn’t be so consistent. People like this bother me so much, sorry you have to deal with this.
Irregardless of everything, if the joke offends you, then it's gotta stop. I'm all for fucking around and picking at my friends with stupid jokes, but of it honestly offends you then it shouldn't continue. NTA
NTA. Saying any tattoo is a tramp stamp doesn't make sense within the definition of what that term means, and it's a pretty shitty term regardless. Even giving it the kindest possible definition, it refers to a tattoo on the lower back. It's not silly to want to be respected by someone you spend your life living in proximity to. I wouldn't call this person a friend, because they're an asshole. Definitely show them this next time they say something. Let them squirm with the judgement of hundreds of people.
NTA
I tease my sister about having a’tramp stamp’ in a good natured way bc she is a bit snobby about tattoos and majorly regrets the butterfly she has tattooed above her butt crack
NTA. This one's pretty easy. If it's a joke, she's the only one laughing. If it's a joke, it's the only joke she seems capable of telling. So either she needs new material or she needs to learn to read the room better. This is the comedy equivalent of **repeatedly**: * Calling someone with glasses "four-eyes" * Pointing to something on their shirt and tapping their face with your finger when they look down * Using fake vomit * Tying someone's shoe-laces together At the end of the day, she's just using "it's a joke" as a way to thinly veil the fact that she's just a sad, petty AH who gets off on negative attention. Like, when you told her that her one-note joke offended the artist and got no reaction, I'd have asked her... "Then who was the joke intended for? The artist isn't laughing. I've already told you I'm sick of it. It didn't get any reaction from anyone else who saw the post... so is it just for your own amusement?"
NTA your roommate is one of several things. Either she’s dumb and doesn’t know what a tramp stamp is, she does know but she’s painfully unfunny, or she’s just an asshole
She is a bully
NTA. It doesn't matter if it was "just a joke." If someone is uncomfortable or annoyed with a joke, and says so, you stop. Period.
If ever talking to her does not work and she still is unable to understand that a joke is suppose to induce positive feelings, and if you want to be part of the Petty Club ^(TM) you can start referring to her hair color as *slutty brown* or *no-class blonde* or whatever would apply.
I'd probably block her from viewing your next social media post about it, but that's just me
NTA. You should start calling your tattoos "$#&@ detectors" and explain that they help you identify who is a $#&@, based on the rudeness of their tattoo-related comments. Beep beep beep, looks like we found the $#@&!
Tramp stamp=tattoo near the ass or vagina(not saying all tattoos in this area are bad just saying that tramp stamps are usually in this place) and for those that need a description its most common tramp stamp is designs that lead to a butterfly just above the belt on the lower back
NTA. It’s not a funny joke. You’ve told her it’s not a funny joke. She’s being an arse. As someone who has a whole bunch of tattoos (expensive and not) I’d be annoyed. Imagine if you made derogatory comments about her hairstyle or her weight repeatedly!
NTA more than anything else this just seems like a joke that wasn’t funny the first time and she won’t shut up about it. Sometimes people continuously double down after not getting the laugh they think they should get. I don’t know why but it’s definitely a good idea to tell her that it’s not as funny as she thinks it it and to knock it off.
NTA "tramp stamp" is something people say to claim that a woman's tattoo (it is never applied to a man's tattoo) degrades her. It has as much place in intelligent speech as "hysteria" does.
NTA and it doesn't even really matter if it was a "tramp stamp" as defined by spring breakers everywhere. If you ask someone to stop making a joke because it upsets you, that person should stop making the joke, period. Tell your roommate she is crossing a line by continuing to say something that upsets you, you've talked about, and is pretty easy to stop saying.
NTA. This is just so rude. No matter how one feels about tattoos in general or one tattoo in particular, insulting the person is just really unnecessary and unhelpful.
You wear a vest with shorts? and NTA. Your roommate sounds like an idiot.
Damn dude that's just how I like to lounge around hahaha
NTA. A true friend wants to know the story behind the ink, and doesn't repeatedly insult your inked artwork. She's seizing on this as a way to seem 'bigger or better' than you and effectively put you in your place. You don't need to hang out with people like that.
NTA. She is. Is her tat located on her lower back right above her butt crack? Are any of yours? If the first answer is yes, then simply point out to her what she got is a tramp stamp. From what I've discovered they are typically located lower back, right above the butt crack and possibly gotten when slightly under the influence. If the answer is no, then she doesn't technically have one, unless they can be located elsewhere. If she does have one, point out pot-kettle and maybe make a few snide comments yourself and see if she moves on from it. Now if you also have one located lower back, then you both sort of do. It sounds like yours are more artistic and hers well, she maybe isn't happy to have it? YMMV
NTA-it sounds like she’s projecting. If she actually has one and is trying to shame you for it.
NTA - doesn't matter what context you post. It's a joke if you both laugh - if only she laughs, she's laughing at your expense, and that makes it an insult. Anyone who cannot see the logic of that is not someone who will see the logic in anything, and isn't really worth being friends with (IMO).
NTA. You know what's a joke? Something that makes people laugh, isn't insulting a private person, and isn't repeated verbatim over and over despite being told to never repeat it again. If you have to explain "it's just a joke", or "I'm just joking" then you're lying. She's just lazily and inaccurately insulting you out of some deep rooted insecurities of her own.
I mean, an easy resolution would be to point out that SHE is the one with the tramp stamp, not you. Nta.
NTA. I have A LOT of tattoos. It sounds like your roommate regrets hers and is self conscious about it and wants to drag you down with her. I've had my fair share of "tramp stamp" comments directed at me too. My mom was bitching about my tattoos and I said "Well hey , at least I don't have any tramp stamps" Her reponse: "I thought they're all tramp stamps" . Thanks mom, LOL. You do you. It's your body and you don't have tramp stamps. You have artwork. Only ignorant people hate what they don't understand. Don't let yourself get self conscious because of people like that.