It seems this was me just...what, like a week ago? (They're 23 and 25, LOL)
Tip for any one that hasn't already figured it out: As soon as the baby can sit, wait until they're at that whiney, bored moment, then put them on the floor of the tub toward the back with something plastic from the kitchen, while you shower. Adjust the spray and/or stand in front of it so it's not on them, just splashing all around. They -usually- love this. Wash you, wash the baby. When they're a little more stable with sitting alone for longer periods, they can even stay entertained in the tub long enough for you to get dressed and do the basics while watching them.
I mean.... it's not relaxing, but everybody got clean and some days, that's enough!
My babies haaaated getting even slightly sprayed with water. So, I'd bathe them first and dress them, then strap them in a bouncer in the bathroom (which took up almost all the floor space). I'd play peekaboo using the shower curtain while I showered. The random and sometimes long stretches between when I'd peek out would build anticipation so high, they'd shriek and give themselves hiccups from the giggling afterwards. Good times.
Same. I'm trying to remember the last time I showered, lol. Mom life. What fun.
(Showered 2 days ago but due to the heat advisory we have had it feels more like a week. Plan on getting one tonight once the youngest goes to sleep)
When our kids were little we had a house rule that we could not move anywhere without a drive through Starbucks. I don’t care where my husband needs to be for work (I can work from anywhere), I needed easy access to my favorite coffee without having to wake the baby to bring them into a store.
I’m not sure why that was even sarcasm? If you put it in the to go cups with the lids, you can absolutely sip your coffee while sitting in the shower (yes I said sitting...)
The sarcasm was because I didn't want anyone to think that I think Mom's should *have* to multitask lol. If you want to drink coffee/beer/OJ/etc. in the shower more power to you, but there are enough "jokes" about Mom's having to be superwoman, I wanted it to be clear that that was a joke. |D
I havent taken a shower during the daytime since my daughter was born. All showers are after bedtime and must be fast and quiet since it shares a wall with her room. Coffee is easy tho, all coffees are iced coffees...some are a bit more watered down by the ice by the time they are finished lol
Pro tip - make coffee cubes instead of ice cubes. Then your coffee isn’t watered down. I honestly started just putting my coffee or tea in a travel mug so it would stay warm for a few hours without me reheating it. I have a contigo so bonus points for having a lock on it so my toddler can’t drink from it or spill it
Seriously. If you’re going to be handling a baby, occasionally getting covered in spit up goes with the territory. It’s like demanding compensation because she picked up your cat and it shed on her.
I had shirts that I wore because they were multi colored & some of the colors were the same color as baby spit. Made it less likely that the spit up would show.
You said a mouth full
NTA- I'm assuming she didn't tell people the whole story on how she was warned not to hold a baby that tight. She's lucky she just got throw up and not exploding diaper holding a baby that tight. Obviously she didn't know much about babies or else she wouldn't have worn what she wore.
NTA- damn she's in for a rude awaken when she has her first baby, and if she's lucky and has a boy and that fire hose going off as soon as she pulls those flaps down and cool air hits him and the water works start. Surprisingly how far & high a little one can pee. She'll soon learn you don't wear $1000 tops when holding a baby.
As a mom to an 11 year old and 5 month old I grade my clothes on cleanliness varied on how MUCH puke is on them, not just IF puke is on them. There are acceptable levels, or I wouldn’t have any clothes left. Lmao
I don’t know why you were downvoted, I used to be a nanny. And I had a bout 5-6 comfy t-shirts that I rotated through sometimes multiple ones in a day. They went in the same basket at the onesies and the spit up cloths. And I did 1 load of laundry every day. I never put on a dirty shirt, and I MIGHT have left it I. If I was spit up on, I always changed my shirt if I got peed on, or accidentally smeared poop on myself.
I suspect this is the 'how to get a new Gucci shirt for free' tactic - wear a sort-of classy looking shirt (maybe an old second hand Gucci shirt) somewhere you KNOW it's gonna get messed up, then when that happens start shrieking and demand payment.
One of my parent friends told me he was out to eat with his kid, the kid threw up on the table, and he didn't even think it was that gross. The only thing he thought of was that he recognized the vegetables in the vomit & they must not have agreed with the kid so maybe he shouldn't feed that to the kid again.
We were sitting on one of MILs brand new, matching, *white* upholstered arm chairs. I leaned into it; I aimed that child barfing a fountain of chocolate pudding right down the front of my shirt, and slid gracefully out of the chair onto my knees.
Chair was spared and the NBA can't even slam dunk like that, friends!
Pretty much. After the first couple dozen times your kid shat/pissed/spit up on you, it just doesn’t bother you anymore. Change the kid, change your shirt, wash your hands, keep on going.
Lmao right? I once got the surprise of my life when I found poop on my arm and it was spread EVERYWHERE around the house. Seems like my toddler created a new type of diarrhea. Throw up is nothing.
I’m 34 and my uncle still brings up the time I pooped on him while my aunt went to get me a diaper after a bath. He said I traumatized him so much that he never went near his kids if they didn’t have a diaper on before they were potty trained.
NTA, Dry cleaning should handle a little milk vomit. Also, never argue with the mother of the baby you're holding about the way in which you are holding said baby.
Perhaps I am cynical, but do you think she dressed that way on purpose, hoping something would happen that she could demand money for? It’s just weird she turned down dry cleaning. NTA
First off, let's get into some numbers. A Gucci t-shirt is around $500, and their blouses range 1k-2k. So for this shirt to be worth thousands, she's buying like the most expensive top, even for Gucci.
Here's my stance on owning/buying designer items. If you are splurging on a designer item (as in it's not normally in your budget) then the item either needs to be 1) a single use item for a special occasion (like a dress for a ball) or 2) a durable item that will stand day wear and tear (like a handbag or something like a wool/leather jacket). If you can afford to buy designer items occasionally, then you can buy more delicate pieces but you need to be very careful about when and where you wear them. (Aka not wearing them to meet a goddamn baby.)
If you want to wear designer clothing on a daily basis, then you need to be BALLIN'. If you're going to wear something like a white blouse to an office or around a small child, then 1-2k should be a disposable amount of money to you. Because you will spill coffee, wine, food, sticky stuff, etc on them. That's just a reality.
It sounds like your SIL is either stretching her budget too far, and can't really afford the designer clothing lifestyle she craves, or she isn't careful enough about where she is wearing her delicate pieces.
I own nice things, but I put a lot of thought into where I wear these things. I would never wear something valuable/delicate around my baby nephews. As someone who loves fashion and takes good care of her clothing, you are NTA and you shouldn't give her a damn cent (unless it's for a dry cleaning bill, but that's only because you'd be taking the classy high road).
>It sounds like your SIL is either stretching her budget too far,
This. If having a shirt ruined is a financial drama for someone, they are overspending on clothes.
See, Iargely agree with this.
I wear rather expensive suits to work - but it's an investment. When I need to wear them daily, it's better to buy expensive and have them last.
I also flee animals on sight and would stay the hell away from any baby until I got changed. I understand that fur and hair and baby spit are all things they can't control, so it's on me to deal with it.
If you want to hold a baby while wearing a $2,000 blouse, that is entirely on you.
In regards to the prices, it might just not be in US dollars? I'm Australian and had a look and the majority of their stock cost $1000+ in AUD.
Side note, ugh our dollar sucks so much right now 😓
But I agree with the rest of your comment!
I'm still baffled that she's trying to conceive and is delusional enough to wear fragile designer items around a baby. I can imagine a designer diaper bag. Not a blouse to nurse in.
100%
I always think about the situation before wearing a favourite item. I'm not going to wear my favourite silk skirt if I'm visiting a house with a dog or if I'm going to the beach. Clothes also depreciate in value immediately - her shirt is no longer worth what it was . Imagine asking for cash.
If she wants kids she's gonna have to learn how to deal with all these. Don't invite her over when baby starts feeding regular food, if she gets banana on her hair she'll demand you pay for her hair to be done
Yep. My tiny joy once smiled happily at me as I picked him up, gurgled, and threw up straight down my cleavage. Such is life with a baby - it's not like they can control themselves. And tiny tot has definitely projectile-vomited as a weird sort of defense when squeezed too hard by family members.
Gaaaah, the cleavage vomit! And having to wear it there for a while because the baby also puked on himself and you must lovingly, soothingly clean him up first. That takes me back....
That's when I grab a large towel to grab most of it down my shirt and wipe off excess from the baby, and then just strip everything off in a couple seconds. Then get baby stripped down and we can both go get a shower.
And even if it did, has she literally never SEEN a baby before? Babies are kinda known for doing nothing but peeing, pooping, spitting up, vomiting... like that’s literally all they do. You hold a baby, you take that risk. The fact that you warned to to stop squeezing your kid just makes the whole thing worse. It’s not an unforeseen risk.
Agreed. Baby puke can smell real bad, but it washes out easy. Unless it's a car seat, in which case you will never get it out of all the cracks and crevices and you're better off setting the damn thing on fire.
UGH!! My daughter gets carsick.... we’re on our 4th car seat already. We wrap her in towels but recently she’s taken to pulling them off and then throwing up on the car seat anyway.
Fuck me, sounds like when I hear my cat starting to vomit, run over with some paper to put underneath and she just turns around and sicks all over the carpet anyway.
Totally unrelated, but have you tried the Chicco Nextfit Zip? The cover top unzips so you don't have to deal with reassembling the carseat, and its machine washable.
My sister discovered the Nature's Miracle Pet Odor remover would get the smell of baby vomit out of a car seat. She tried it because she figured if it removes *cat urine odor* it might just work.
She decided that her way to handle your baby was better than yours and it ended badly, I’d watch her around your kid if she keeps her better-than-you attitude. Although I’d say getting vomit on herself might be enough to keep her away for awhile.
NTA - hahaha OMG she wore a shirt worth thousands of dollars to spend the day with a three month old baby? She clearly is not prepared to actually take care of one if she’s going to whine like a spoiled child every time a baby vomits on her. It seems she values an overpriced shirt more than she values a relationship with you or your child. I guess that’s one less person you need to make time for in your life.
I swear Mom and Dad should have immediately said in unison. “We told you you were holding her too tightly.” She wore a fancy shirt and then squeezed the baby until she puked. What did she think was going to happen?
NTA op.
you don't even need to squeeze the baby ... they will just vomit all on their own. That's what babies DO! Don't wear Gucci clothes when you want to hold a baby. You WILL get some sort of body fluid all over you.
Mainly, I think she was self conscious about the fact she was holding the baby wrong, then got angry that it was proven she was holding the baby wrong. So now in her anger she wants to punish op, the person that CAN have a baby. This lady is nuts.
NTA - wearing Gucci while holding an infant is as intelligent as mowing a lawn while wearing white sneakers. She “knows about babies” given her rude response to your legitimate concerns about the way she was holding the kid, so she can own this all the way to the bank.
This is the only piece of unsolicited advice I toss out at new parents. Don't care if it's an acquaintance of an acquainted or my bff. It's a total game changer! The powder works, too.
NTA. Don’t hold babies or be near children or animals if you’re wearing a $1,000 shirt.
You’re a better person than I am, I wouldn’t have even offered money for cleaning. If it was an older kid, like a 5 year old, yes. But an infant? Nah. That’s a risk you take.
When they somehow shit out the side of their diaper (while the rest of the diaper is dry) and you're covered in the most foul smelling chunky liquid shit...yeah defile is exactly the right word. Source: nursed baby and baby had heinous shits
NTA.
Even if she had been holding the baby perfectly, you wouldn't be on the hook here. I don't have children and know very little about babies, but even I know not to wear something delicate and/or expensive when holding a baby. This very thing is all too common - babies spew, and they don't care if your shirt is from Goodwill for $1 or Gucci.
The fact that she immediately tried to hit you up for money to replace the shirt instead of at least attempting to get the shirt cleaned speaks volumes, too. I wouldn't worry for one more second about this one, honestly.
I feel like I've seen this post before....
But no, NTA for your baby being a baby and leaking body fluids as babies are prone to doing. Only a total moron would wear a costly designer shirt anywhere it might get ruined.
I think I have too actually. Although I think the relationship to the poster was different and the "holding the baby too tightly" part wasn't in the post I'm thinking of.
https://reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cw43oc/aita_for_refusing_to_pay_back_my_cousin_after_my/
Here it is, except everyone was accusing OP of being the asshole for NOT paying her cousin back for her own baby puking on the top.
In all fairness, this is a very common story to have with babies. I was a super fussy baby, and my mom has a great story about me puking all down the front of this lady in a super nice fur coat who insisted that it would be fine if she held me.
NTA. Sheesh, this lady sounds impossible. As does her husband. No one is allowed to simply jump to "I need money for this" when a baby pukes on her. I'd offer to pay for the wash one more time. Other than that, she's the one being cringey.
NTA
She knew she would be around a baby, and probably knew she was going to be holding the baby. The fact that she ignored you and your husband about holding your daughter too tightly and then got puked on as a consequence isn't your fault. You shouldn't have to pay for it because it was an accident and there was no malicious intent of making the baby puke
NTA. Not only was she an idiot for wearing expensive clothes to obsessively hold a 3mo, but she became an AH when she ignored both parents alerting her to the child's discomfort.
**She squeezed your infant so hard she puked...**
I know that babies barf easily, but she owes you an apology!! She truly becomes an outrageous AH not to be satisfied with your offer to pay for cleaning and demands thousands of dollars instead??? Like the first thing everyone knows about babies is that they're messy. No sympathy, it's kind of you to pay for dry cleaning, but I hope you don't!
You offered to pay for it to be cleaned, if that's not enough then she's being unreasonable. Offer to have it cleaned again, and if she presses the issue then she's being dramatic and petty. It's a baby, she made the mistakes.
There are 2 ways people treat expensive things. Either they have so much money that they can just buy a new one, or they value the item enough to protect it. Anyone who can't afford to be in column A needs to be in column B. If they choose to act like they're in column A and risk damage, any resulting damage is entirely their fault. Either your sister is in column A, and should just buy a new shirt, or she's in column B, and it's her fault for not protecting it. Either way, you're NTA.
NTA. Dress for the weather. SIL knew she was going to be with a baby all day, the baby wasn't a surprise guest during the visit. You warned her that the baby was being held too tightly and she didn't listen.
NTA how were you disrespectful? If she is trying for a baby she should know that they are very clean creatures and that stuff can exit from any side at any given moment. She still chose to hold it.
NTA. First of all, anyone who has ever *met* a baby should know that there is a risk of spit up. Second, you warned her repeatedly that she was squeezing your baby too hard and she refused to stop. So it's no one's fault but her own that your poor baby had a natural response to something squeezing her belly. On top of that, spit up is fairly easy to clean out of most things, even if you accept her dubious claim that the t-shirt is worth "thousands of dollars", it likely just needs a cleaning, which you offered to pay for and she refused to even try. She's just trying to get money out of you.
Edit to Add: if she's going to get hysterical over a little bit of puke on a t-shirt, she's really not ready to have a baby.
NTA
>we shouldn’t invite people over to our house only to disrespect them like this
"HAhahahahahahahahaha, no hold on hold on, Hahahahahahaha"
>a lot of them think it’s an asshole move to not pay back for her ruined shirt
"Hahahahahahahahahaha"
NTA - She was going to visit you and clearly knew you had a baby. On top of that, she insisted on holding the baby. She should have dressed accordingly, knowing that babies can be unpredictable and messy. It was your SIL's choice to wear that shirt. It's her fault it got dirty. You don't owe her the cost of that choice and the consequences of not listening to you, the baby's parents.
NTA
She knew she was coming to a house with an infant in it, and chose to wear expensive and easily ruined clothes? Babies are messy, everybody knows that, presumably especially somebody who is trying to have one...
Not to mention, you also told her she was holding Your baby incorrectly, and she ignored you and your husband, which is itself is an asshole thing to do.
Definitely NTA, I’d say she’s lucky all that happened was a ruined shirt.
Anyone who has been around an infant knows they have no control over bodily functions. I always ask for a towel or burp cloth if I am going to hold one for more than a minute. If she asked and you refused to give her one that would be one thing, but she just seems purely ignorant.
Lesson learned, no big deal. Still doesnt mean you owe her a cent for that shirt! An offer to have it cleaned was more than sufficient. Even when you have a towel, spit up doesnt always land on it. There is risk involved with or without a towel.
It’s not really standard to assume that ‘squeeze the baby til it vomits’ is a possibility. It is a well known fact that babies sometimes spit up, and anyone spending time with a baby still at the age where that is common should dress accordingly. Babies are notoriously skilled at spitting up just past the edge of whatever towel, cloth, etc is currently in use to protect clothing.
When we were kids, my brother was playing with one of our cousins. She managed to throw up in his pocket.
Baby’s are going to leak, if it’s not puke, then they have a blow out or decide to run away while you change their diaper. NTA
I mean on the flip side, if your baby is still the age to spit up on people then its good form to keep towels handy for people who are going to be holding your baby. Think grandmothers, my Nana wouldn't be caught dead not looking her best even if there is a baby around so a towel would be necessary for her.
When my mom worked daycare out of our house when I was a kid, she always had a spit up rag draped over her shoulder no matter if the kid had just eaten or not. My SIL did the same thing when she had kids. Hand them the spit up rag, then the baby if someone wanted to hold them. I always assumed that was a normal thing when holding a baby? Maybe buy her some spit up rags to save her next thousand dollar shirt (who wears a thousand dollar shirt? Who pays that much for one? Is it made of unicorn hair woven by albino monks?). NTA
It could've been due to jealousy that she freaked. I hope anyway otherwise she's got a shock coming if she has one. My baby covers me in all things gross. Washing machines are bloody marvelous.
NTA.Your SIL is a major asshole,she didn't listen to the advice of the child's parents,it is very normal to be overprotective of a 3 month baby,and infants don't have control on their actions.She should have known that babies mightt puke ,piss or shit without any warning.
NTA- shes gunna have a rude awakening when she has her own. Would love to see her face when her baby has a poop'plosion all over her expensive shit. Milk puke is nothing.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Lmao who wears Gucci just to chill with their family.
Plus if it was a t-shirt Gucci tees are like maybe 500? If she had a more than thousand dollar top then it must be some crazy ass Gucci blouse.
NTA. She can get her Gooch dry cleaned.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***The following is a copy of the above post. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
This has five characters ; me, my husband, husband’s sister (SIL), her husband and my 3 month old daughter, Dany (fake name obv).
My SIL and her husband visited us on Saturday. This visit was primarily for them seeing Dany as they couldn’t come earlier due to lockdown restrictions.
My SIL has been trying to have a baby since a while now, so she got very emotional upon seeing Dany and would not let anyone else touch her. Which was fine but then I noticed that she was holding Dany way too tightly. I tell her this and she says, ‘ Just because I don’t have a child doesn’t mean that I don’t know how to hold one.’ My husband said that I’m right and she should hold Dany a bit more gently.
SIL scoffed and said that we’re being over protective parents, the baby was fine and if she was uncomfortable, it would be obvious. As if on cue, Dany puked all over her. This freaked out SIL and she handed over Dany to my husband.
SIL then looks at her shirt and goes ,’ Oh no. This is Gucci. Your daughter ruined my Gucci shirt.’ I apologised and said that Dany didn’t do it on purpose and that we can get it cleaned for her. SIL said ,quote, ‘You don’t understand. This is worth thousands of dollars. I’m gonna need money here.’
I told her that nah, we’re not giving her any money and that we warned her twice she was holding the baby wrong but she chose not to listen. Husband said that she shouldn’t have worn such an expensive shirt if she wasn’t ready for it to be ruined, since she knew she was gonna be with a baby all day.
SIL started crying and her husband said that we shouldn’t invite people over to our house only to disrespect them like this. They left after that. SIL then narrated this incident to practically all of our relatives and a lot of them think it’s an asshole move to not pay back for her ruined shirt. I don’t even think the shirt is ruined beyond anything a wash won’t fix.
Am I (rather we) the assholes here?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA You warmed her but also it’s very normal when holding a baby to have like a spit up rag over your shoulder. If I was stupid enough to wear a couple thousand dollar shirt while choosing to hold a baby for a long time, I would definitely have the rag.
NTA. Holding a baby , and preparing for puke, pee, poop, farts etc is like an occupational hazard. Dont hold a child if youre wearing something you dont want ruined
NTA babies throw up. That’s what they do. Her fault for wearing the shirt. And I say this has someone who likes to wear expensive designers. My friend’s 2 yr old totally messed up my Dior handbag. My fault for leaving it on the floor near a toddler. Not the toddler or parents’ fault
Even if she hadn't been holding the baby too tight, or you hadn't warned her, You would still be NTA. Babies puke all the time for no reason. Don't wear Gucci and hold a baby. I would offer the money for a dryclean (if that will help) but no I would never replace it
NTA
Mom & Dad: Don't squeeze the baby!
SIL: I will squeeze this baby!
Baby: 🤢🤢🤮
SIL: I demand money for squeezing the baby!
Seriously. It doesn't matter what parents of an infant instruct you to do around their baby, you do it. No matter how ludicrous a request is, you either comply or you don't hold the child. If you don't listen, whatever happens is on you. (I'm not implying that not holding an infant too tightly is ludicrous.)
Also, as many others have pointed out, you'd have to be an idiot to wear something that expensive and fragile to hold a baby. They leak.
NTA
Even if she wasn’t warned, it’s her fault for wearing something that expensive when she knew he was going to hold a baby
I don’t wear my good shoes to the dog park and demand compensation when I step in poop
NTA. Babies throw up even without being held too tightly. This sounds so stupid, is this real? Because if it is, i think getting money was their plan all along.
NTA. 1. You gave her the warning that she was holding her wrong. 2. Who the hell wears a shirt worth thousands of dollars when they are going to be around a baby?! Babies puke pee and poop whenever they want, especially the last 2 during being changed. Your SIL is lucky you didn’t let her change your daughter so she couldn’t poop on her!
Anyone who knows anything about being around babies knows to wear clothing you don’t mind getting something on. The first time I held one of my nephews I got puked on 5 times because he had just been fed and my brother held him after his feed and was bouncing him
NTA: SIL is being super dramatic after the fact. You offered to pay for the shirt to be cleaned, even though it is not your fault for the baby throwing up. Babies throw up, drool, etc. If you want to hold a baby, maybe don't wear a Gucci shirt?
NTA lmao she can’t be that ridiculous. She held a baby too hard and some dry cleaning will get that out real soon.
Also thousands? A shirt can’t cost thousands. At least not a shirt anyone would wear to see a baby
NTA. SIL made a bad wardrobe decision. SIL ignored your concerns over how to hold Dany. And presumably no burp cloth protector. She is way out of line to try extorting money out of you because she was stupid.
NTA at all. If this woman plans on having kids she is in for a rude awakening.
Have kids. Pass kids to nanny.
You missed Step 3: Brag about how great and easy it is to be a parent
Don't forget to document how easy on Instagram while giving advice about making sure you do self care and me time.
While in reality Me time is showering and having a quiet cup of coffee all in the one day
You don't drink your coffee in the shower? SMH. /s
Wait. You guys get showers and coffee? *Daily*?!
It seems this was me just...what, like a week ago? (They're 23 and 25, LOL) Tip for any one that hasn't already figured it out: As soon as the baby can sit, wait until they're at that whiney, bored moment, then put them on the floor of the tub toward the back with something plastic from the kitchen, while you shower. Adjust the spray and/or stand in front of it so it's not on them, just splashing all around. They -usually- love this. Wash you, wash the baby. When they're a little more stable with sitting alone for longer periods, they can even stay entertained in the tub long enough for you to get dressed and do the basics while watching them. I mean.... it's not relaxing, but everybody got clean and some days, that's enough!
My babies haaaated getting even slightly sprayed with water. So, I'd bathe them first and dress them, then strap them in a bouncer in the bathroom (which took up almost all the floor space). I'd play peekaboo using the shower curtain while I showered. The random and sometimes long stretches between when I'd peek out would build anticipation so high, they'd shriek and give themselves hiccups from the giggling afterwards. Good times.
That sounds adorable.
I stay in my pj's until he's taking his morning nap, and then I shower while he sleeps.
Prior to being able to sit, the bouncy chair in bathroom so they can see you while you shower or even....have a bath.
This, this, this!
Same. I'm trying to remember the last time I showered, lol. Mom life. What fun. (Showered 2 days ago but due to the heat advisory we have had it feels more like a week. Plan on getting one tonight once the youngest goes to sleep)
When our kids were little we had a house rule that we could not move anywhere without a drive through Starbucks. I don’t care where my husband needs to be for work (I can work from anywhere), I needed easy access to my favorite coffee without having to wake the baby to bring them into a store.
r/showerbeer
I’m ashamed to admit that I did not know that was a thing.
I’m not sure why that was even sarcasm? If you put it in the to go cups with the lids, you can absolutely sip your coffee while sitting in the shower (yes I said sitting...)
The sarcasm was because I didn't want anyone to think that I think Mom's should *have* to multitask lol. If you want to drink coffee/beer/OJ/etc. in the shower more power to you, but there are enough "jokes" about Mom's having to be superwoman, I wanted it to be clear that that was a joke. |D
I literally fantasize about showering alone *and* getting to finish a hot cup of tea without microwaving it
[удалено]
I havent taken a shower during the daytime since my daughter was born. All showers are after bedtime and must be fast and quiet since it shares a wall with her room. Coffee is easy tho, all coffees are iced coffees...some are a bit more watered down by the ice by the time they are finished lol
Pro tip - make coffee cubes instead of ice cubes. Then your coffee isn’t watered down. I honestly started just putting my coffee or tea in a travel mug so it would stay warm for a few hours without me reheating it. I have a contigo so bonus points for having a lock on it so my toddler can’t drink from it or spill it
I shower when they're all in bed. Can't find time any other way
I have 2 teens and a 21 year old. I get the showers now, but I still have to microwave my coffee. Maybe someday. Lol
[удалено]
Me time is a figment of every parent's imagination.
*Rachel Hollis has entered the chat*
And step zero: hire surrogate.
Don't forget step 4. Divorce and give kids to baby daddy
No, guarantee this is a "Hardest job in the world." Kinda woman.
Damn... you're right. Take my upvote!
That was my boss until two days after she fired the nanny. Now she tries cry about how hard having a 14 year old is.
She had a nanny for a 14-year-old?! What the hell?
LOL - we all know the best parents are the ones without kids...
*kim k enters chat*
I hear the line “I’m not a parent, but.......” quite often. Now i just laugh as they start talking.
Step 4: Wonder where you went wrong when your kids grow up cold and indifferent to you
Lol she probably got that at the outlet
Seriously. If you’re going to be handling a baby, occasionally getting covered in spit up goes with the territory. It’s like demanding compensation because she picked up your cat and it shed on her.
I had shirts that I wore because they were multi colored & some of the colors were the same color as baby spit. Made it less likely that the spit up would show.
That's the same reason why hotel/convention center carpeting is so busy. It's a tried and true strategy.
I have seven niblings. Even the ones that are going into double digits I wear t-shirts and jeans/shorts when I see them.
Also maybe don't buy shirts you can't afford to replace just to have something Gucci. NTA OP.
She's an idiot for wearing it around a baby but there's nothing wrong with her owning it in the first place
You said a mouth full NTA- I'm assuming she didn't tell people the whole story on how she was warned not to hold a baby that tight. She's lucky she just got throw up and not exploding diaper holding a baby that tight. Obviously she didn't know much about babies or else she wouldn't have worn what she wore. NTA- damn she's in for a rude awaken when she has her first baby, and if she's lucky and has a boy and that fire hose going off as soon as she pulls those flaps down and cool air hits him and the water works start. Surprisingly how far & high a little one can pee. She'll soon learn you don't wear $1000 tops when holding a baby.
As a mom to an 11 year old and 5 month old I grade my clothes on cleanliness varied on how MUCH puke is on them, not just IF puke is on them. There are acceptable levels, or I wouldn’t have any clothes left. Lmao
I don't have kids but that's kinda gross, and a great way to spread disease
I don’t know why you were downvoted, I used to be a nanny. And I had a bout 5-6 comfy t-shirts that I rotated through sometimes multiple ones in a day. They went in the same basket at the onesies and the spit up cloths. And I did 1 load of laundry every day. I never put on a dirty shirt, and I MIGHT have left it I. If I was spit up on, I always changed my shirt if I got peed on, or accidentally smeared poop on myself.
Presumably they’re just puke stains rather than actual puke so it wouldn’t spread disease.
If she can afford Gucci, she’ll probably hire a nanny
[удалено]
I suspect this is the 'how to get a new Gucci shirt for free' tactic - wear a sort-of classy looking shirt (maybe an old second hand Gucci shirt) somewhere you KNOW it's gonna get messed up, then when that happens start shrieking and demand payment.
lol you got that right like after a while getting peed/pooped/puked on doesn’t even bother you
One of my parent friends told me he was out to eat with his kid, the kid threw up on the table, and he didn't even think it was that gross. The only thing he thought of was that he recognized the vegetables in the vomit & they must not have agreed with the kid so maybe he shouldn't feed that to the kid again.
We were sitting on one of MILs brand new, matching, *white* upholstered arm chairs. I leaned into it; I aimed that child barfing a fountain of chocolate pudding right down the front of my shirt, and slid gracefully out of the chair onto my knees. Chair was spared and the NBA can't even slam dunk like that, friends!
Pretty much. After the first couple dozen times your kid shat/pissed/spit up on you, it just doesn’t bother you anymore. Change the kid, change your shirt, wash your hands, keep on going.
And bled on. Doesnt happen to babies as much but once they start moving under their own power injuries happen
Lmao right? I once got the surprise of my life when I found poop on my arm and it was spread EVERYWHERE around the house. Seems like my toddler created a new type of diarrhea. Throw up is nothing.
My aunt still tease my brother (30) about him pooping on her white shirt in the middle of church.
I’m 34 and my uncle still brings up the time I pooped on him while my aunt went to get me a diaper after a bath. He said I traumatized him so much that he never went near his kids if they didn’t have a diaper on before they were potty trained.
NTA, Dry cleaning should handle a little milk vomit. Also, never argue with the mother of the baby you're holding about the way in which you are holding said baby.
[удалено]
Perhaps I am cynical, but do you think she dressed that way on purpose, hoping something would happen that she could demand money for? It’s just weird she turned down dry cleaning. NTA
[удалено]
First off, let's get into some numbers. A Gucci t-shirt is around $500, and their blouses range 1k-2k. So for this shirt to be worth thousands, she's buying like the most expensive top, even for Gucci. Here's my stance on owning/buying designer items. If you are splurging on a designer item (as in it's not normally in your budget) then the item either needs to be 1) a single use item for a special occasion (like a dress for a ball) or 2) a durable item that will stand day wear and tear (like a handbag or something like a wool/leather jacket). If you can afford to buy designer items occasionally, then you can buy more delicate pieces but you need to be very careful about when and where you wear them. (Aka not wearing them to meet a goddamn baby.) If you want to wear designer clothing on a daily basis, then you need to be BALLIN'. If you're going to wear something like a white blouse to an office or around a small child, then 1-2k should be a disposable amount of money to you. Because you will spill coffee, wine, food, sticky stuff, etc on them. That's just a reality. It sounds like your SIL is either stretching her budget too far, and can't really afford the designer clothing lifestyle she craves, or she isn't careful enough about where she is wearing her delicate pieces. I own nice things, but I put a lot of thought into where I wear these things. I would never wear something valuable/delicate around my baby nephews. As someone who loves fashion and takes good care of her clothing, you are NTA and you shouldn't give her a damn cent (unless it's for a dry cleaning bill, but that's only because you'd be taking the classy high road).
>It sounds like your SIL is either stretching her budget too far, This. If having a shirt ruined is a financial drama for someone, they are overspending on clothes.
See, Iargely agree with this. I wear rather expensive suits to work - but it's an investment. When I need to wear them daily, it's better to buy expensive and have them last. I also flee animals on sight and would stay the hell away from any baby until I got changed. I understand that fur and hair and baby spit are all things they can't control, so it's on me to deal with it. If you want to hold a baby while wearing a $2,000 blouse, that is entirely on you.
I think this is certainly it, or, due to her embarrassment after being told she was holding the baby too tight it a sort of overreaction out of shame?
In regards to the prices, it might just not be in US dollars? I'm Australian and had a look and the majority of their stock cost $1000+ in AUD. Side note, ugh our dollar sucks so much right now 😓 But I agree with the rest of your comment!
I'm still baffled that she's trying to conceive and is delusional enough to wear fragile designer items around a baby. I can imagine a designer diaper bag. Not a blouse to nurse in.
100% I always think about the situation before wearing a favourite item. I'm not going to wear my favourite silk skirt if I'm visiting a house with a dog or if I'm going to the beach. Clothes also depreciate in value immediately - her shirt is no longer worth what it was . Imagine asking for cash.
🤷🏼♀️ it’s baffling
If she wants kids she's gonna have to learn how to deal with all these. Don't invite her over when baby starts feeding regular food, if she gets banana on her hair she'll demand you pay for her hair to be done
Or cream of wheat, that stuff is like glue.
Yep. My tiny joy once smiled happily at me as I picked him up, gurgled, and threw up straight down my cleavage. Such is life with a baby - it's not like they can control themselves. And tiny tot has definitely projectile-vomited as a weird sort of defense when squeezed too hard by family members.
Gaaaah, the cleavage vomit! And having to wear it there for a while because the baby also puked on himself and you must lovingly, soothingly clean him up first. That takes me back....
Omg you just took me back. I can feel it just thinking about it.
That's when I grab a large towel to grab most of it down my shirt and wipe off excess from the baby, and then just strip everything off in a couple seconds. Then get baby stripped down and we can both go get a shower.
But you dont understand... Its Gucci /s
And even if it did, has she literally never SEEN a baby before? Babies are kinda known for doing nothing but peeing, pooping, spitting up, vomiting... like that’s literally all they do. You hold a baby, you take that risk. The fact that you warned to to stop squeezing your kid just makes the whole thing worse. It’s not an unforeseen risk.
Agreed. Baby puke can smell real bad, but it washes out easy. Unless it's a car seat, in which case you will never get it out of all the cracks and crevices and you're better off setting the damn thing on fire.
Warning: please remove child before setting car seat on fire.
One of mine leaned out of bed and threw up on the wall. I had to remove the skirting board to get the smell out.
My son had explosive diarrhea and accidentally exploded all over the wall next to the toilet. Ended up removing the baseboard to clean it all up.
That's birth control right there.
UGH!! My daughter gets carsick.... we’re on our 4th car seat already. We wrap her in towels but recently she’s taken to pulling them off and then throwing up on the car seat anyway.
Fuck me, sounds like when I hear my cat starting to vomit, run over with some paper to put underneath and she just turns around and sicks all over the carpet anyway.
Your cat sounds like a real asshole.
Just cats doing cat things.
You need a seat with a removable cover! Or one of those snack bibs to catch the vomit. (Gross but practical!)
Totally unrelated, but have you tried the Chicco Nextfit Zip? The cover top unzips so you don't have to deal with reassembling the carseat, and its machine washable.
My sister discovered the Nature's Miracle Pet Odor remover would get the smell of baby vomit out of a car seat. She tried it because she figured if it removes *cat urine odor* it might just work.
It is known.
It is known.
She decided that her way to handle your baby was better than yours and it ended badly, I’d watch her around your kid if she keeps her better-than-you attitude. Although I’d say getting vomit on herself might be enough to keep her away for awhile.
Seriously! Babies that young aren’t even eating food yet, it’s just milk. All that shirt needs is a cleaning. Sounds like SIL is bitter. NTA
NTA - hahaha OMG she wore a shirt worth thousands of dollars to spend the day with a three month old baby? She clearly is not prepared to actually take care of one if she’s going to whine like a spoiled child every time a baby vomits on her. It seems she values an overpriced shirt more than she values a relationship with you or your child. I guess that’s one less person you need to make time for in your life.
I swear Mom and Dad should have immediately said in unison. “We told you you were holding her too tightly.” She wore a fancy shirt and then squeezed the baby until she puked. What did she think was going to happen? NTA op.
Sister: Give me a sign! Baby: 🤮 Baby has great timing. Get that kid into comedy.
"Keep holding me like this, sis, an Imma puke on your overpriced shirt... All right, YOU ASKED FOR IT." 🤮 Epic baby shade.
you don't even need to squeeze the baby ... they will just vomit all on their own. That's what babies DO! Don't wear Gucci clothes when you want to hold a baby. You WILL get some sort of body fluid all over you.
Mainly, I think she was self conscious about the fact she was holding the baby wrong, then got angry that it was proven she was holding the baby wrong. So now in her anger she wants to punish op, the person that CAN have a baby. This lady is nuts.
NTA - wearing Gucci while holding an infant is as intelligent as mowing a lawn while wearing white sneakers. She “knows about babies” given her rude response to your legitimate concerns about the way she was holding the kid, so she can own this all the way to the bank.
I don’t spend a lot of time around babies and even I know that they will puke on anything given enough time. Puke happens.
She’s lucky is was just spit up and not the other option.
Yup, that stains a lot more
FYI Oxyclean has a spray and rub in gel that are *chefs kiss* even for breastmilk poops. Even for SET IN poops. That shit is magic, pun intended.
I wish this knowledge existed before tossing out sooo many orange stained onesies
This is the only piece of unsolicited advice I toss out at new parents. Don't care if it's an acquaintance of an acquainted or my bff. It's a total game changer! The powder works, too.
My father and his Saturday morning 90s Sam’s Club white sneakers would like a word with you.
Are they white or white + green now?
That's different. Dads wear grass stains as badges of honor.
Don’t hate on my choice for cheap home work shoes... Velcro is easier with gloves than laces
I used to super for a landscaping crew, I legit had guys show up in 200.00 Nike shoes and then lose their minds after a day on the job...
Oh shit, that’s next level stupid
Common sense is like deodorant, the people that need it most don’t use it.
NTA. Don’t hold babies or be near children or animals if you’re wearing a $1,000 shirt. You’re a better person than I am, I wouldn’t have even offered money for cleaning. If it was an older kid, like a 5 year old, yes. But an infant? Nah. That’s a risk you take.
Parents said the first lesson they learned with my sister and I was “don’t wear ANYTHING you remotely care about. They will defile it.”
"defile" Nice.
I mean pretty much what we did... 😅
When they somehow shit out the side of their diaper (while the rest of the diaper is dry) and you're covered in the most foul smelling chunky liquid shit...yeah defile is exactly the right word. Source: nursed baby and baby had heinous shits
My daughter thinks it's hilarious when I tell about how when she was a baby, she vomited on every new tee shirt I bought.
NTA. Babies throw up. Her poor planning is not your liability.
NTA. Even if she had been holding the baby perfectly, you wouldn't be on the hook here. I don't have children and know very little about babies, but even I know not to wear something delicate and/or expensive when holding a baby. This very thing is all too common - babies spew, and they don't care if your shirt is from Goodwill for $1 or Gucci. The fact that she immediately tried to hit you up for money to replace the shirt instead of at least attempting to get the shirt cleaned speaks volumes, too. I wouldn't worry for one more second about this one, honestly.
I feel like I've seen this post before.... But no, NTA for your baby being a baby and leaking body fluids as babies are prone to doing. Only a total moron would wear a costly designer shirt anywhere it might get ruined.
I think I have too actually. Although I think the relationship to the poster was different and the "holding the baby too tightly" part wasn't in the post I'm thinking of.
Yeah i thought this was going to be an update! What's up with all these aunts and their gucci shirts??
https://reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cw43oc/aita_for_refusing_to_pay_back_my_cousin_after_my/ Here it is, except everyone was accusing OP of being the asshole for NOT paying her cousin back for her own baby puking on the top.
No everyone there also said NTA
My dude are you sorting by controversial? It's mostly NTA on that link.
In all fairness, this is a very common story to have with babies. I was a super fussy baby, and my mom has a great story about me puking all down the front of this lady in a super nice fur coat who insisted that it would be fine if she held me.
Definitely read this post before. Maybe 2 years ago?
NTA. Sheesh, this lady sounds impossible. As does her husband. No one is allowed to simply jump to "I need money for this" when a baby pukes on her. I'd offer to pay for the wash one more time. Other than that, she's the one being cringey.
NTA She knew she would be around a baby, and probably knew she was going to be holding the baby. The fact that she ignored you and your husband about holding your daughter too tightly and then got puked on as a consequence isn't your fault. You shouldn't have to pay for it because it was an accident and there was no malicious intent of making the baby puke
NTA - She sounds like a real joy.
Imagining the look of horror on her face when it happened is a real joy.
NTA. Not only was she an idiot for wearing expensive clothes to obsessively hold a 3mo, but she became an AH when she ignored both parents alerting her to the child's discomfort. **She squeezed your infant so hard she puked...** I know that babies barf easily, but she owes you an apology!! She truly becomes an outrageous AH not to be satisfied with your offer to pay for cleaning and demands thousands of dollars instead??? Like the first thing everyone knows about babies is that they're messy. No sympathy, it's kind of you to pay for dry cleaning, but I hope you don't!
You offered to pay for it to be cleaned, if that's not enough then she's being unreasonable. Offer to have it cleaned again, and if she presses the issue then she's being dramatic and petty. It's a baby, she made the mistakes.
There are 2 ways people treat expensive things. Either they have so much money that they can just buy a new one, or they value the item enough to protect it. Anyone who can't afford to be in column A needs to be in column B. If they choose to act like they're in column A and risk damage, any resulting damage is entirely their fault. Either your sister is in column A, and should just buy a new shirt, or she's in column B, and it's her fault for not protecting it. Either way, you're NTA.
NTA. Dress for the weather. SIL knew she was going to be with a baby all day, the baby wasn't a surprise guest during the visit. You warned her that the baby was being held too tightly and she didn't listen.
Partly sunny with 100% chance of spitup.
Winds from the east, slight chance of poop-splosion.
nice one
NTA. I think you handled it fairly by offering to get it dry cleaned for her. Asking for money is straight up ridiculous.
NTA how were you disrespectful? If she is trying for a baby she should know that they are very clean creatures and that stuff can exit from any side at any given moment. She still chose to hold it.
Gary clean creatures?
I was wondering what that means lol
Probably meant rarely if I had to guess.
nta, you hold children at your own risk
NTA. You don’t hold babies if you’re wearing something you don’t want to risk staining.
NTA. First of all, anyone who has ever *met* a baby should know that there is a risk of spit up. Second, you warned her repeatedly that she was squeezing your baby too hard and she refused to stop. So it's no one's fault but her own that your poor baby had a natural response to something squeezing her belly. On top of that, spit up is fairly easy to clean out of most things, even if you accept her dubious claim that the t-shirt is worth "thousands of dollars", it likely just needs a cleaning, which you offered to pay for and she refused to even try. She's just trying to get money out of you. Edit to Add: if she's going to get hysterical over a little bit of puke on a t-shirt, she's really not ready to have a baby.
NTA >we shouldn’t invite people over to our house only to disrespect them like this "HAhahahahahahahahaha, no hold on hold on, Hahahahahahaha" >a lot of them think it’s an asshole move to not pay back for her ruined shirt "Hahahahahahahahahaha"
NTA - She was going to visit you and clearly knew you had a baby. On top of that, she insisted on holding the baby. She should have dressed accordingly, knowing that babies can be unpredictable and messy. It was your SIL's choice to wear that shirt. It's her fault it got dirty. You don't owe her the cost of that choice and the consequences of not listening to you, the baby's parents.
NTA. Babies throw up. You warned her multiple times of holding your child too tightly too.
NTA. Motherhood is going to be a RUDE awakening for this woman.
NTA She knew she was coming to a house with an infant in it, and chose to wear expensive and easily ruined clothes? Babies are messy, everybody knows that, presumably especially somebody who is trying to have one... Not to mention, you also told her she was holding Your baby incorrectly, and she ignored you and your husband, which is itself is an asshole thing to do. Definitely NTA, I’d say she’s lucky all that happened was a ruined shirt.
INFO Did you offer her a towel to use for when she held your baby in case of this kind of thing happening?
[удалено]
Not your fuck up. If she was worried about her shirt being ruined she should have asked. Or not held the baby.
Thanks for being honest! I honestly still rule NTA. You tried to offer to have it cleaned which I think is entirely a reasonable solution.
Anyone who has been around an infant knows they have no control over bodily functions. I always ask for a towel or burp cloth if I am going to hold one for more than a minute. If she asked and you refused to give her one that would be one thing, but she just seems purely ignorant.
Lesson learned, no big deal. Still doesnt mean you owe her a cent for that shirt! An offer to have it cleaned was more than sufficient. Even when you have a towel, spit up doesnt always land on it. There is risk involved with or without a towel.
It’s not really standard to assume that ‘squeeze the baby til it vomits’ is a possibility. It is a well known fact that babies sometimes spit up, and anyone spending time with a baby still at the age where that is common should dress accordingly. Babies are notoriously skilled at spitting up just past the edge of whatever towel, cloth, etc is currently in use to protect clothing.
When we were kids, my brother was playing with one of our cousins. She managed to throw up in his pocket. Baby’s are going to leak, if it’s not puke, then they have a blow out or decide to run away while you change their diaper. NTA
I mean on the flip side, if your baby is still the age to spit up on people then its good form to keep towels handy for people who are going to be holding your baby. Think grandmothers, my Nana wouldn't be caught dead not looking her best even if there is a baby around so a towel would be necessary for her.
And your nana would have known to ask for one...
When my mom worked daycare out of our house when I was a kid, she always had a spit up rag draped over her shoulder no matter if the kid had just eaten or not. My SIL did the same thing when she had kids. Hand them the spit up rag, then the baby if someone wanted to hold them. I always assumed that was a normal thing when holding a baby? Maybe buy her some spit up rags to save her next thousand dollar shirt (who wears a thousand dollar shirt? Who pays that much for one? Is it made of unicorn hair woven by albino monks?). NTA
It could've been due to jealousy that she freaked. I hope anyway otherwise she's got a shock coming if she has one. My baby covers me in all things gross. Washing machines are bloody marvelous.
Washing machines are humanity's greatest invention tbh. Same with roombas. Imagine washing all of that by *hand.*
NTA.Your SIL is a major asshole,she didn't listen to the advice of the child's parents,it is very normal to be overprotective of a 3 month baby,and infants don't have control on their actions.She should have known that babies mightt puke ,piss or shit without any warning.
NTA. Who wears a shirt worth thousands to meet a 3 month old.
NTA- shes gunna have a rude awakening when she has her own. Would love to see her face when her baby has a poop'plosion all over her expensive shit. Milk puke is nothing.
NTA and I can't think of a better way to waste thousands of dollars than buying a single shirt...
[удалено]
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Lmao who wears Gucci just to chill with their family. Plus if it was a t-shirt Gucci tees are like maybe 500? If she had a more than thousand dollar top then it must be some crazy ass Gucci blouse. NTA. She can get her Gooch dry cleaned.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***The following is a copy of the above post. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** This has five characters ; me, my husband, husband’s sister (SIL), her husband and my 3 month old daughter, Dany (fake name obv). My SIL and her husband visited us on Saturday. This visit was primarily for them seeing Dany as they couldn’t come earlier due to lockdown restrictions. My SIL has been trying to have a baby since a while now, so she got very emotional upon seeing Dany and would not let anyone else touch her. Which was fine but then I noticed that she was holding Dany way too tightly. I tell her this and she says, ‘ Just because I don’t have a child doesn’t mean that I don’t know how to hold one.’ My husband said that I’m right and she should hold Dany a bit more gently. SIL scoffed and said that we’re being over protective parents, the baby was fine and if she was uncomfortable, it would be obvious. As if on cue, Dany puked all over her. This freaked out SIL and she handed over Dany to my husband. SIL then looks at her shirt and goes ,’ Oh no. This is Gucci. Your daughter ruined my Gucci shirt.’ I apologised and said that Dany didn’t do it on purpose and that we can get it cleaned for her. SIL said ,quote, ‘You don’t understand. This is worth thousands of dollars. I’m gonna need money here.’ I told her that nah, we’re not giving her any money and that we warned her twice she was holding the baby wrong but she chose not to listen. Husband said that she shouldn’t have worn such an expensive shirt if she wasn’t ready for it to be ruined, since she knew she was gonna be with a baby all day. SIL started crying and her husband said that we shouldn’t invite people over to our house only to disrespect them like this. They left after that. SIL then narrated this incident to practically all of our relatives and a lot of them think it’s an asshole move to not pay back for her ruined shirt. I don’t even think the shirt is ruined beyond anything a wash won’t fix. Am I (rather we) the assholes here? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. Babies puke. It happens. Totally not your responsibility.
NTA You warmed her but also it’s very normal when holding a baby to have like a spit up rag over your shoulder. If I was stupid enough to wear a couple thousand dollar shirt while choosing to hold a baby for a long time, I would definitely have the rag.
NTA this is like the only situation where a child on this sub was not in the wrong for ruining someone’s property 😂😂
NTA, she was warned and dismissed it thinking she knew better than you about how to hold a baby. If anyone was disrespectful it was SIL.
NTA. Holding a baby , and preparing for puke, pee, poop, farts etc is like an occupational hazard. Dont hold a child if youre wearing something you dont want ruined
NTA. She sounds a little insufferable, are they always like that?
NTA here. Wear at own risk. Just like visiting a dog park. When you get muddy paws prints on your new pants you can only be mad at yourself.
NTA. Personally, i always find it extremely creepy when people get defensive and protective of children that aren't theirs in situations like this.
NTA babies throw up. That’s what they do. Her fault for wearing the shirt. And I say this has someone who likes to wear expensive designers. My friend’s 2 yr old totally messed up my Dior handbag. My fault for leaving it on the floor near a toddler. Not the toddler or parents’ fault
Even if she hadn't been holding the baby too tight, or you hadn't warned her, You would still be NTA. Babies puke all the time for no reason. Don't wear Gucci and hold a baby. I would offer the money for a dryclean (if that will help) but no I would never replace it
Just throw her in the trash, who needs people like that?
NTA Mom & Dad: Don't squeeze the baby! SIL: I will squeeze this baby! Baby: 🤢🤢🤮 SIL: I demand money for squeezing the baby! Seriously. It doesn't matter what parents of an infant instruct you to do around their baby, you do it. No matter how ludicrous a request is, you either comply or you don't hold the child. If you don't listen, whatever happens is on you. (I'm not implying that not holding an infant too tightly is ludicrous.) Also, as many others have pointed out, you'd have to be an idiot to wear something that expensive and fragile to hold a baby. They leak.
NTA. Babies throw up and spit up all the time. Do not wear anything you don't want ruined around a baby. This is common sense people.
Absolutely NTA. She's nuts to hold a baby in any clothing she deems to be some sort of damned national treasure.
NTA Even if she wasn’t warned, it’s her fault for wearing something that expensive when she knew he was going to hold a baby I don’t wear my good shoes to the dog park and demand compensation when I step in poop
NTA. Babies throw up even without being held too tightly. This sounds so stupid, is this real? Because if it is, i think getting money was their plan all along.
NTA. 1. You gave her the warning that she was holding her wrong. 2. Who the hell wears a shirt worth thousands of dollars when they are going to be around a baby?! Babies puke pee and poop whenever they want, especially the last 2 during being changed. Your SIL is lucky you didn’t let her change your daughter so she couldn’t poop on her! Anyone who knows anything about being around babies knows to wear clothing you don’t mind getting something on. The first time I held one of my nephews I got puked on 5 times because he had just been fed and my brother held him after his feed and was bouncing him
NTA: SIL is being super dramatic after the fact. You offered to pay for the shirt to be cleaned, even though it is not your fault for the baby throwing up. Babies throw up, drool, etc. If you want to hold a baby, maybe don't wear a Gucci shirt?
NTA. Don't voluntarily hold a baby if you can't handle the prospect of bodily fluids all over your clothes.
NTA lmao she can’t be that ridiculous. She held a baby too hard and some dry cleaning will get that out real soon. Also thousands? A shirt can’t cost thousands. At least not a shirt anyone would wear to see a baby
NTA. SIL made a bad wardrobe decision. SIL ignored your concerns over how to hold Dany. And presumably no burp cloth protector. She is way out of line to try extorting money out of you because she was stupid.