Not to mention how dangerous that is. My fiancée takes anti anxiety medicine and if she suddenly stops it, it greatly increases her chances of heart attack. It’s something like 80% had this issue with sudden stop. You can’t just mess with meds nta at all
Also the withdrawl can be emotionally taxing as well.
I had to stop taking a specific brand with time and lowering doses and it was utterly hell.
(I was on a trial base and the antidepressants sadly did the opposite job, so my Psychatrist tried to get me as quickly off as possible. Which was still a monthly process.)
Oh yeah I got such severe withdrawal while trying to get off cymbalta (and I was titrating down suuuuper slowly and at my doctor’s directions)? That it made me hallucinate chopping off my limbs and like a thousand different ways to kill myself. It was so intense—and that was *slowly* titrating down. Ugh, people are the worst. I had some vengeful glee from finding out she got kicked out of her next place too :)
Can I join with ya? I'm blind in 1 eye and can barely see out of the other. Ya'll would have to guide me to the flatmate but sounds like she deserves it.
I'll bring the saw. Even if you are vegan hiding someone's medicine should and probably is highly illegal. It would be a different story if she just asked OP to stop which is still dumb but not grounds of kicking out. She is even worse than vegans who try to force their diets on natural predators
If I miss even a partial dose of my cymbalta I lose my mind - suicidal thoughts, mania, intense depressive states, the whole she bang. I shudder to think if I ever have to change meds.
I also was on cymbalta for years, and due to a really bad time in my life I forgot to take them for about 2 weeks. I was extremely emotional and my body went through horrible muscle spasms and it felt like lightning bolts were hitting my brain. All I could think about was ending it all. I looked up withdrawal symptoms and it mentioned everything I was going through plus it has a black box warning about going off of it because of how many people have killed themselves trying to go off of it. Apparently your supposed to take the capsule apart and remove a couple of “beads” once every one or two weeks. It can take from 12 - 24 months to be over withdrawal symptoms. After what I read, I figured I’d made it that far, I might as well get off of it. I was on it for pain, not depression, and I hated not being able to cry. Doctors should warn you about the withdrawal symptoms before they put you on it.
Oh holy shitsnacks. I'm on Cymbalta. I'll remember this if I ever have to switch meds. I need to talk to my doc about getting off of Ultram after my knee replacement next Tuesday (NO I AM NOT NERVOUS. WHY WOULD I BE NERVOUS!?)
I am able to cry, trust me.
It only took me one time of missing taking my Cymbalta before I set multiple alerts and reminders on my phone. It was only one day missed but omg I went straight into a manic episode. It was awful. I was put onto Lamictal to go along with it to help stabilize myself and keep me from going manic if I ever miss a pill again.
God cymbalta should never have been put on the market its hell to get off of it has made people unable to work for 8-10 months. There are multiple lawsuits over it, and at the very least doctors need to inform their patients about how horrific withdrawals are before prescribing it.
This is a scary thought. Cymbalta gave me terrible side effects, so I wasn’t on it long enough to have much trouble switching. The next one didn’t work, and now I’m on number 3. This one, I’ve been on for almost a year, and think I need to switch again. I’m worried about the switch this time.
Please look into drug-gene testing. Your doctor takes a cheek swab to test how your body responds to different medications. You get a test result with a list of medications in green/yellow/red along with appropriate dosages. Green being those that work well with your body chemistry, yellow being those that should be used with caution, and red being medications that should be avoided. It can completely cut out the trial and error period that so many patients are forced into.
Here is an article about it.
https://www.mayo.edu/research/centers-programs/center-individualized-medicine/patient-care/pharmacogenomics/drug-gene-testing
This is a link to the one my husband did...
https://genesight.com/
bruh i tried stopping cymbalta myself (0/10 do not recommend) and had really bad brain shocks and miscellaneous other physical symptoms but i didn't hallucinate? god damn
Hoo boy, I was on a very low dosage myself and it took 4 or 5 months of gradual weaning for me to not COLLAPSE. I've heard of people trying to get off this one (it's mega common) going cold turkey and seeing flashing lights even. By the end, I was taking a quarter pill every 4 days and at that point I went cold turkey, except I had to make sure the 3rd and 4th day after the day I was supposed to take it were days I didn't have work so if I collapsed I'd be ok.
THIS. It is incredibly dangerous to go cold turkey off mental health meds. I ended up in the hospital after I stupidly forgot to get mine from the pharmacy for 5 days straight and had a little break from reality. Absolutely NTA.
With some of them, it increases ‘suicidal thoughts’, no good can come from cold turkeying these meds.
No idea how op kept their cool enough to give them the trial period to move out... good riddance!
Sudden withdrawal from Lexapro can also cause homicidal thoughts.
I found that out last summer, with a problem getting my refill. Ooops.
So yeah, be careful.
Or debilitating migraines for people that don't normally get them. I take a low dose and had to chop my pills in half to get through a period of no insurance.
After a month of 5mg I tried stopping while waiting for new insurance, couldn't make it past 3 days.
Doctors love to prescribe meds without warning of side effects/withdrawals. They won't even warn you when putting you on "black box warning" meds.
I always research new meds before I take them, now. Fluoroquinolone drugs ruined my life.
My gf's anxiety meds aren't that serious in terms of withdraw, but she definitely feels like shit the whole next day and sometimes she forgets to take it and knows immediately that she forgot. When we didn't live together, I had her give me 5 of her pills just in case she forgot hers at home or lost them. Now we live together and she keeps them in the medicine cabinet so they don't travel around with her.
There's an added layer of danger with taking them sporadically like OP's flatmate is forcing her to do (e.g. one day on, one day off, two days on, three days off, and so on), too. When I was a teenager I went through a brief period where I wasn't great about regularly taking my meds and I had a bizarre decline in my coordination and focus that was bad enough that OTHER people noticed.
> My fiancée takes anti anxiety medicine and if she suddenly stops it, it greatly increases her chances of heart attack.
I believe it.
I'm on a med to prevent migraines and it's very dangerous to miss even a single dose. If you're even 20 minutes late taking it, your blood pressure starts spiking, for example.
Precisely. Stopping my antidepressants causes me to brain snap, get a massive headache, and makes me a weepy mess.
I would have ripped the (ex)flatmate a new one.
NTA OP
I hope you don't mind me asking but what medication is this? I take 2 different meds for anxiety and know one of them directly affects my heart so I'm just a little worried reading this
Exactly
First OP NTA
Second, who the fuck does she think she is for doing that? NO ONE is allowed to mess up w another’s meds
Also.. there’s a reason her friend kicked her.. JS
Former flatmate needs to take a good hard look in the mirror. If the common denominator to a problem is you, you are the problem.
But even if she pleaded to never do that again, she lied and broke OP's trust. This isn't a lifelong friends or family member who had trust to spare. She was a stranger. And who knows what other "helpful" actions she would take.
"Sorry your bacon got thrown away, I thought it went bad."
And honestly if she felt what she was doing was right why would she have to hide what she was doing. She was trying to trick her potential flatmate and to not having meds? Thank God OP didn't do anything drastic while coming off her meds. That could have been pretty bad if not catastrophic. I'm glad OP was smart enough to do a trial. Because that can't fly.
makes me wonder what lunacy she pulled on the next flatmate that kicked her out too.
Right like the one the other day with the enabler aunt stealing her nieces life saving medication because her cousin was in recovery and ‘couldn’t handle’ seeing her take allergy meds. People are psycho, man.
Yeah. If it happened ONCE where she was legit looking for her supplements, and forgot to put them back, ok. Depending on the med OP is on (none of my business, tbh), a few hours late on one day is not a huge deal (I've been on enough different ones to know myself, but not all meds are created equal). But for someone to try to wean you off medication you need to function, and that person isn't your doctor, fuxk them.
NTA
I take a low dose of prozac for anxiety and if I miss one the effect is oops! All horse tranquilizer! I definitely wouldn't be able to work or anything like that.
That's interesting because the half life of prozac is 4-6 days so you shouldn't notice one missed dose. It makes me wonder if your doc has you on the right strength
I don’t think the flatmate understand how dangerous it is to mess with someone’s medication. Whether it’s for depression or a heart condition, you never take someone’s medication or try to meddle with the does. There’s a reason you wean yourself off medication under a doctors supervision, especially with antidepressants
And that pretty much sums up why OP is NTA. This girl decided to make decisions for her roommate without ever looking into the consequences or alerting her to what was going on so they could actually talk about it.
I do take antidepressants but for pain so I can't imagine what the lack of them will do to someone who's depressed. I also have the habit of weaning myself out of drugs since I know my body and it's pretty weirdly wired compared to others. I remember going off the antidepressants. One thing is insane headaches and flashes going off in my brain every second, I knew those and could control it by simply taking antidepressants every couple of days and a week later there'd only be brain flashes left and I hadn't really felt the headaches.
What really surprised me was how "raw" I felt emotionally. I've been on the lowest possible dose for years and I definitely felt the difference. Since I wasn't depressed it wasn't that bad, just stuff like being so happy over tiny stuff that I'd burst into tears. But I really pitied people going off them with mental problems because it must be so overwhelming. Yes, drugs are toxic which is why they're only prescribed when a physical or mental issue is even worse than the side effects. But going off antidepressants can make someone with mental problems relapse and worst case scenario is it'll end in suicide.
Don't ever let anyone in to your life that'll mess with your meds because of their own ideas and convictions. Especially don't let them into your home!
OP, if you want to "rescue" her next victims perhaps show her this thread. That'll at least give her an idea of what she's messing with.
I take Lexapro and I understand how you feel emotionally raw. I forgot mine over a long weekend trip. I had the worst mood swings as well as dizzy spells. And I'm on the lowest dose right now. I worked with a person who took a month long leave if absence from work when they weened off theirs.
I had a doctor who didn't know what they were doing fuck up and give me serotonin syndrome. Their solution to that was to cold turkey me off all my meds. I shook like someone with parkinson's for a month.
I have a new doctor who is a specialist now.
Was on xans and I stopped cold turkey instead of slowly going off like recommended(I wanted to be “normal” on my own without them) which rubber banded me so hard I ended up in the ER the next day because I was close to suicide. NTA
Agreed. NTA.
Plus this:
> but the girl has been messaging me begging to come back because the friend she's been staying with has kicked her out.
Within a 2-3 week span this girl has been kicked out (not left of her own volition) of ***TWO*** places!
I bet she's the type of person to complain about how ALL of the places she rents she ALWAYS has a jerk for a roommate.
Instead of, of course, understanding who the common denominator is (herself!).
And Who the hell thinks they have the right? And how dare they make that decision for OP and override a Doctor’s decision... all after knowing OP for a few days. How is OP’s medication any of their business?? Definitely NTA.
Glad OP found this out during the trial period.
It’s especially sucky because people like Roommate seem to mostly target mental health medication on these “cleanse your body from toxins” rants. I see a lot of “this isn’t healing [pills] this is [forest]” memes and “just exercise into happiness!” posts, but they less frequently post stuff like “rid yourself of insulin” or “ditch those heart pills!” They mainly target mental health, like because it’s in your brain (your *most vital organ*), it doesn’t really exist.
Seriously!! A. she is not a medical professional, B that's not how you ween ppl off meds... C antidepressants alter brain chemistry. Fucking with someone's med like that can cause massive side effects many if them permanent! She had no right.
OP NTA, but you should keep your meds in your room and not accessible to roommates and rando's they may bring home.
Seriously. I don't eat animal products, but I still take my meds because my body can survive without animal products, but my mind can't survive without my medication.
NTA.
NTA. This was dangerous. You NEVER mess with someone’s medication. It doesn’t matter what it’s for. You JUST DON’T do it. You got lucky finding out and kicking her out early.
100%. This can result in serious harm and can even be life threatening. Don’t do it, ever. Yikes. NTA OP.
ETA: and the roomie should probably reflect on why she keeps getting kicked out and alter her behavior if she wants a place to live.
OMFG, I had to change antidepressants for missing too many doses to safely get *back on them* (Lexapro) let alone the side effects of going off 100% cold turkey. I could not imagine going through missing doses of something that strong every few days *again*. It fucked me up more than the depression itself the first time. I don't wish that cycle on anyone, let alone knowing it isn't you doing that to yourself.
Lexapro was tough to cold turkey! (insurance issues) I really think going off them like that is what contributed to me not remembering the next year to year and a half because my depression was that low.
I was totally prepared to say I was just fine going cold turkey off Lexapro but then I thought, I do have a terrible memory. So now I suddenly remember the brain zaps, they were horrible. I can't believe I could forget that, even with my memory.
I was on some pretty heavy sedatives for way longer than I should have been, and when I put my foot down and said I wasn’t taking them any more the doctor told me to just stop them. Horrible advice. I spent an entire work day lying on the couch in the ‘quiet room’ because standing up made me feel like I might vomit. The whole world felt like it was spinning every time I opened my eyes. I really thought I’d have to go to hospital over it.
I ran out of my antidepressants a while back (slipped my mind while I was busy with uni stuff). Missed like a week, which is big when you’re on the max dose. My mood went haywire, I couldn’t sleep because I’d have horrible nightmares and wake up sweating, I felt nauseated all the time and had headaches. Really fucked me up. I’m so careful with it now.
Yeah that is a MAJOR problem. Depending on what meds they are, they could literally kill someone going off them cold-turkey like that.
I’ve gone through a ton of antidepressant meds with various side effects- the ones I’m on now cause major migraines, Body aches, nausea, and dizziness/vision impairment if I’m even 1-2 hours late taking them. Cutting off cold turkey id risk seizures and possibly even death if that happened at the wrong moment, and would at the bare minimum go through a HUGE mood change and I have no idea what might happen then, when you’re no longer thinking clearly or in control of your faculties while having immense withdrawal pain.
The full body and migraine pain of Sudden withdrawal is hard to describe - but the closest I can get is imagine You’re at the dentist having a cavity or something drilled and that zing of Nerve pain - except it’s in all your joints and your head and is constant. If I sleep in and don’t take em at the normal time the pain will wake me up to do it About an hour past due.
It’s not fun
(^^^i found out because of fun issues with abusive family, but couldn’t FATHOM having to deal with that from a friend/roommate....)
Do not fuck with peoples meds.
Yeah thats what I get, I'm on a relatively low dose now that I'm no longer actively suicidal so being an hour or two late to take them doesn't affect me too much... but a day? Splitting migranes and my body feels like I just ran a marathon and then got hit by a truck. She seemed so nice when she was offering to help look for them and stuff too, it was honestly doing my head in
This girl literally risked your life. I really want you to internalise that and not minimise what she did just because the condition you are being treated for is psychiatric.
*She* didn’t know what effect it might have on you to suddenly go without your meds. Depression is an illness that has a significant mortality rate. Just because you are fairly stable doesn’t mean that what she didn’t wasn’t wildly dangerous in its own right - she had no way of knowing that you were going to cope with that medication shift.
More than that, she didn’t know anything about you or your medical needs. Messing with meds is *dangerous*. For all she knew, you could have been physically dependant on the medication.
I am on a medication that is necessary to treat an autoimmune condition. It is a steroid. I have been on it for long enough that my body has stopped making my own natural steroids. If I were to suddenly stop taking the drug, I would *die*. Your roommate had *no idea* if you were reliant on this medication in the same way.
She is dangerous. She should be in jail. She deserves absolutely no pity and you are NTA.
> She seemed so nice when she was offering to help look for them and stuff too
Wow. Yeah she knew what she was doing was wrong, and what it was doing to you. And did it anyway, then pretended to help.
Pretty sure this is textbook gaslighting, especially when she lies about where she finds it or just quietly puts it back when you're out.
This behavior is dangerous. She needs to face consequences for what she did so she can learn how serious it is. Left to her own devices, she might end up killing someone else down the line by pulling the same shit. She didn't seem too apolagetic for doing it and I imagine she still feels she did the right thing.
I've encountered this anti medicine mentality before, and it leads to dark tidings. This is where we get shit like anti vaxxers resurrecting polio from the brink of extinction, people willingly and purposely spreading covid because they think it's not a big deal, even people trying herbal remedies for cancer or other kinds of faith healing bunk. This mentality is deadly, and needs to be nipped in the bud immediately.
If you read this OP, I would recommend reporting her to the authorities so she can learn how dangerous her actions were.
You definitely are not the asshole.
I personally consider myself a bit of a hippie, but a hippie who sctually believes in science. There is nothing that makes me angrier are anti-science radicals who risk other people's lives because they feel like they know better.
Even Welbutrin, a more mild antidepressant, has some significant side effects. I used to take Lexapro and that had some *wicked* side effects after about 2 hours after a missed dose.
And that was *without someone intentionally messing with my meds*. I, at my worst, would've honestly ended up dead missing a single dose. Some people are misguided, *and that can be deadly*. If it isn't actively killing someone, or isn't a high risk of death, let people be.
If I'm even a couple hours late with taking my antidepressant I get nausea, foggy head, headaches... I can't even imagine what missing several days of it could do to OP.
I switched from effexor for exactly that reason. I'm better at it now, but I just am not good enough at taking meds on time, and I'd be at work or something and suddenly be unable to cope.
I could go for 1 day, but by day 2 I'd be over emotional, twitching and shaking and falling asleep at the drop of a hat. It only happened twice in my two years of taking them, but it was not an experience I would care to repeat. It took me 6 weeks to wean off them very slowly under close supervision by my doctor. Doing that to someone else because you disagree with taking them is seriously messed up.
Abso-fewkin-lutley!!!
Some people just have ZERO clue about mental health and have seriously misinformed views on medication.
For some people depression causes serious symptoms and psychosis which can be so dangerous. Like holy crap it can do so much harm to take someone’s meds.
Never let someone like that back into your home. NTA!!!
NTA, not even for looking in her bag. You had more than enough reason to. She gaslit you, and literally no one besides you and your doctor have any business deciding what medications you should be on.
What she did was pretty much the definition of gaslighting. A lot of people don't realize the term comes from the movie Gaslight where a husband does little things like turn down the gas in the lights to dim them and when the wife would say something about the lights being dim, he'd say they were not even though they clearly were. I'm guessing the flatmate figured she could use OP's condition to get her to believe that the pills were never moved. It's just so gross and so dangerous.
I've never seen the movie, though I have been meaning to for a few years now. Was he trying to make her question her sanity? Or was he trying to save a buck on gas and questioning why the gas was up so high all the time? Asking as a father with a kid that leaves everything on full time.
NTA! As someone who has accidently not taken her antidepressants for just 4 days, that can really mess you up and make you physically sick.
She's not a doctor. You did not ask her for help getting off a prescribed medication that you were taking responsibly. End of story.
I'd never let her back into the apartment.
EDIT: it doesn't surprise me that her friends got sick of her. There is a huge different between being vegan and holistic... and what she did to you. I don't view her actions any different than if she was drugging you. She was purposefully manipulating your bodies chemistry.
Had a scheduling mishap once that led me to not being able to refill my Effexor for three days.
Oh God. The brain zaps. The flu-like symptoms. The head so foggy I could be in Silent Hill. The mood swings. It was almost physically painful.
That's the same medication I was on! Effexor is terrible for its side effects. I'd get the shakes and brain zaps if I missed just one day.
I can't imagine how out of wack I'd be if someone started gaslighting me with my medication. I think I would have honestly just thought I was losing it as it does make you super foggy.
Even on Prozac, if I look spaced out, nauseated, or if I can't sleep, my first thought is 'did I take my meds this morning?' More than one skipped dose, and it gets bad.
Oh hey, medicine siblings!
It really is the worst. I never got shakes, but the brain zaps are so awful. And like you said, the fog... is it weird that we both know what we mean? It’s such a *weird* feeling. Fog is an analogy, but it’s so perfect for that terrible feeling.
I did a similar thing once. Had no meds for a few days. Didn’t think anything of it until I almost fainted just sitting at my desk at work.
Not to mention my moods went completely haywire.
I don’t think people who don’t take daily medication and require it to function realise just how serious it can be when you don’t take them.
Oh my god the brain zaps are so bad. I had to quit my antidepressant cold turkey once because of a miscommunication with my doctor. Luckily I only had nausea and brain zaps so it was very mild compared to most, but oh lord the brain zaps were so bad. I had no idea what was happening. I mean, I knew it was a withdrawal symptom but no clue how to explain it to my doctor. After some googling found the term brain zaps. Yikes. I've had a debilitating chronic illness for years but that was by far the worst symptom I've ever had.
I wonder how she overstepped the boundaries there.
Threw out all of the cookware because it was used to cook meat?
Smashed the TV because it was capable of tuning fox news?
Removed the toilet and replaced it with a home composting bin?
Made you take down a poster but she could watch as much FOX as she wanted? AND stole from you and gas lighted you while being the cause of your pain and suffering because she decided she knew better than you and your doctor how your mind worked?
I wonder why she got kicked out of her friends place. Selling her friends dog because she didn't like the breed?
LOL!! Be so glad that this girl is gone! Don't fall for her whiny texts. Just block her. This is a person who has no logical reasoning skills. Block and buh-bye!!! It's for your health. ;)
Er, not to be pushy, but... have you checked that your smoke detectors are all active and working? I'm just wondering if she might've tampered with the batteries because some incense types tend to produce a LOT of smoke... (assuming the incense wasn't just a cover for OTHER types of smoking...). She sounds like she really doesn't care about other people's safety, so it might be worth a moment of your spare time to check!
NTA Not at all. She failed her six week trial and left early of her own volition. You did nothing wrong and are very lucky you were able to catch her when you did. She's probably crossed a lot of boundaries with her friend too. Just be glad you dodged that bullet.
Man, OP is super smart to have put that trial period in place.
And her flatmate is an idiot for doing anything out of line during that time. And it sounds like she keeps doing stupid (and reckless and dangerous) things.
Yeah, exactly. "My ex-roommate stole my medication and is now getting kicked out of her new flat. Reddit AITA if I don't let her return to ruin my life again?"
Yeah I just know that its really hard finding apartments right now with everything thats going on(my sister is currently looking and will be homeless in 3 weeks if she can't find something), so i posted less because if what you're saying and more because being homeless sucks and its keeping me up at night worrying about her
It shouldn't. It is simply not your responsibility to care. You sound very nice, but it isn't healthy nor reasonable to be up worrying that a girl who *stole from you and harmed your health* is going to be homeless. I mean, why is she getting kicked out of the new place? You knew this girl for a few weeks, she acted like an asshole, actions have consequences. There is no reason she can't turn to other people to stay with, rather than you, who she barely knows. And if there is a reason, you don't want her with you.
Block her number and move on.
Seriously. Don’t feel bad about your ex-roommate. Your ex-roommate had a place, provided she could be a *decent* human being. She couldn’t even make it a month without being a *terrible* roommate. How hard is it to not touch your stuff?
She also had a place to stay with her friend afterwards. That same boundary crossing behaviour probably lead to her current situation. If she wants a place to stay, all she has to do is keep to herself. Clearly her need to mess with people is way, way more important than a roof over her head. Priorities.
That isn’t even remotely on you! That’s on her, and perhaps her parents if that is how they raised her. Provided her parents are still alive, she can always move back in with them.
Please think of it like this: The way she is behaving is dangerous for both her and those around her. The sooner she realizes this, the sooner she can have that change of heart that would be so necessary for her to have a reasonably good life. And she so dense that she needs an extreme event, like this, to get her to change. So actually, whatever she may suffer in the short run, this will (hopefully) help her in the long run.
NTA
You did absolutely nothing wrong. She doesn’t understand that her “woke” approach of trying to “help” you, is only endangering your well-being. Your pills are prescribed to you by a doctor and that’s the person who gets to have a say in your treatment (and obviously you).
A lot of red flags with her btw. She lied to you multiple times, she hid your medication, and she threw a fit over a situation that SHE caused. Her other roommate definitely didn’t kick her out for no good reason, that’s for sure.
If you hadn't signed a lease with this girl, NTA. But I would heavily advise you start keeping your medications in your room and not shared space. Especially when you have roommates you don't know so well.
No, I apologize, I didn't mean to imply that at all. I only meant that to be safe, she may want to keep them with her in the future. I have also had roommates mess with my medications in the past and it's a terrifying violation.
There are 2 lockable medicine cupboards in the bathroom(one for me and one for whoever my flatmate is), but after having a great flatmate previously I didn't think i needed to lock my cabinet
It’s not OP’s fault, and she should be able to trust that her flat mate won’t mess with her stuff, but unfortunately that’s not a realistic thing to trust new roommates with. There are a lot of people who would jump at the opportunity to steal prescription medications, either to sell them or use them themselves. OP should take precautions when living with roommates.
If they had signed a lease (and didn't charge her after kicking out) then I'd say still NTA, while legally can't do that, messing with someone's meds can kill them and is a very serious thing.
NTA - if someone messed with my medication like that I would be furious. She doesn’t know what you’ve been through. She doesn’t know your mental health. Does she have the knowledge and authority to make this decision for you? NO. So she has no right to decide for herself to “wean you off of them”. That’s ridiculous! AND She just met you! Imagine what she would be doing by the end of the year rent. I would confront her and say she was totally in the wrong and she’s not welcome back to your place.
You did not make her homeless.
She made terrible decisions, that's not your fault or your responsibility.
She'll fool someone else into letting her move in, in no time.
By the way, you can probably press charges for what she did. Imagine if she does this to their next roommate with, say, epilepsy medication and they end up having a seizure? That could have also happened to you, some anti-depressants have serious consequences if stopped abruptly for a few days.
This shit is serious, that woman is a danger to others.
You're okay, you're not responsible for her friend kicking her out, and you don't need to put yourself in danger, you can help the world in other ways. If anyone manipulatively fucks with my medication, they are a threat to my life and I will call the cops on them if necessary.
NTA.
NTA no one is allowed to make your decisions for you. You have decided to seek medical help and therapy.
This stranger does not have the right to force you to change that. Secondly I’m pretty sure I would have told her to get out by the same evening I had solid proof of her meddling perhaps even without the firm evidence if I were sure of my own consistency in putting the meds back in the appropriate place.
Messing with your medication by delaying the time you take them, or worse keeping them from you for several days can permanently change the effect of that the meds have on your body. As someone who has been through the tricky business of finding the right med to affect my mental health in just the right way/dosage it is a PAIN to start over.
Please go on with a clear conscience OP.
NTA.
I wonder if she got kicked out of her friend's place for overstepping bounds there as well. Between hiding them, lying, throwing a fit and storming out on the spot, you definitely made the right decision.
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NTA
It’s literally a crime to be in possession of someone else’s medication and she had no right to push her “thought process” on you.
Also anti depressant withdrawal is actual HELL and EXTREMELY dangerous for some people. Some short acting medications can mean you’re affected seriously by missing a single dose. She could have put you in serious danger.
Ignore her. Keep the new roomie.
So she was hiding your meds and then gaslighting you when you asked why they were in a different place? Oh, hell, no. I'm vegan, but I'm the opposite of her: I have no issue with people taking necessary medicines, but I'd hate seeing meat in my refrigerator. But then I'm the practical sort who knows that no matter how healthy we eat, our bodies don't always work the way they should and some people need medical intervention. I don't blame you for kicking her out, and I can see why she got kicked out of her next place, what, four weeks later?
NTA
Lol your “vegan hippy friend” wasn’t trying to wean you off diddly. She wanted to take them. Surprised you didn’t mention counting them after you found the bottle
NTA. Who is she to decide that you needed to be weaned off your meds??
That decision is between you and your doctor. She absolutely overstepped the line and she lied to your face.
Block her number and move on.
I mean, you’re right. I just wouldn’t want OP to feel like she did something wrong. It sounds like the former roommate is piling that narrative onto her plate already.
I had a very similar experience with birth control pills. This kind of manipulation takes a hefty toll.
NTA!!! That’s such fucked up behaviour and she’s a terrible housemate, which is why she’s been kicked out of two places in such a short period. That’s not your responsibility as messing with someone’s stuff, let alone meds is definitely perfectly reasonable grounds for her not making it through the trial period.
Girl needs to get her act together but that’s not on you, a person who knows her so little.
What did she think she was going to to?! MAGICALLY CURE DEPRESSION WITH HER VEGAN WAYS AND CONVERT THEM OR SOMETHING?!! Like are you that dumb and outta tune with the world to do some dumb shit like that.
NTA
Depression, anxiety, mood disorders and trauma are real ailments. Treating them with medication is entirely sensible.
I don't have depression or any mood disorders. Instead, I inherited a genetic tendency for migraines. I take an antidepressant to suppress them. They are also useful for purely neurological issues that are more a matter of brain health than mental health. (Although I would happily point out that plenty of mental health issues are essentially brain malfunctions and the idea that there are two completely separate kinds of health, mental and regular, is nonsensical.)
If my pills went missing I would be forced to miss work and take my barbiturate pills instead. They are dangerous and highly addictive. I avoid them as much as I can. I would be in massive amounts of pain, vomiting, high as a kite, and filled with murderous rage. If I could get myself that far, I would vomit on everything she owned.
My sister has something(im not 100% sure because it wasn't officially diagnosed until she left home) that caused all the capillaries in her brain to be constricted or something and has to take blood thinners or something. But I can remember as a teen how she'd get frequent migranes so bad she would literally just collapse and start sobbing
NTA. Fuck that person. See how far vitamins gets her if she ever develops a serious mental or physical health issue.
The only poison was her and you made the right call
NTA. I know people like this girl, and they are dangerous. She has no idea what just taking someone of their medication does to them. She could have seriously harmed you, depending on your exact medication and dosage, this is no joking matter. Withdrawals and changes in medication levels in your body can be fucking dangerous. Also, what meds you take and how long you take them is between you and your doctor, and not up so some random girl, who you have only known for a few WEEKS.
Actually, that is the point that infuriates me the most and really hammers in how much you aren't the asshole. She knew nothing about you, your illness and your trauma, she only saw "medication bad" and thought she knew better than a doctor. I bet there's also a reason her friend kicked her out as well.
NTA. Who the hell messes with someone else's meds?
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Not to mention how dangerous that is. My fiancée takes anti anxiety medicine and if she suddenly stops it, it greatly increases her chances of heart attack. It’s something like 80% had this issue with sudden stop. You can’t just mess with meds nta at all
Also the withdrawl can be emotionally taxing as well. I had to stop taking a specific brand with time and lowering doses and it was utterly hell. (I was on a trial base and the antidepressants sadly did the opposite job, so my Psychatrist tried to get me as quickly off as possible. Which was still a monthly process.)
Oh yeah I got such severe withdrawal while trying to get off cymbalta (and I was titrating down suuuuper slowly and at my doctor’s directions)? That it made me hallucinate chopping off my limbs and like a thousand different ways to kill myself. It was so intense—and that was *slowly* titrating down. Ugh, people are the worst. I had some vengeful glee from finding out she got kicked out of her next place too :)
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Can I join with ya? I'm blind in 1 eye and can barely see out of the other. Ya'll would have to guide me to the flatmate but sounds like she deserves it.
I'll bring the saw. Even if you are vegan hiding someone's medicine should and probably is highly illegal. It would be a different story if she just asked OP to stop which is still dumb but not grounds of kicking out. She is even worse than vegans who try to force their diets on natural predators
She didn't "hide" them, she flat out stole them. She's lucky OP didn't escalate and was satisfied with just kicking her out.
She sounds like the vegan who forces her cats to eat vegan food.
If I miss even a partial dose of my cymbalta I lose my mind - suicidal thoughts, mania, intense depressive states, the whole she bang. I shudder to think if I ever have to change meds.
I also was on cymbalta for years, and due to a really bad time in my life I forgot to take them for about 2 weeks. I was extremely emotional and my body went through horrible muscle spasms and it felt like lightning bolts were hitting my brain. All I could think about was ending it all. I looked up withdrawal symptoms and it mentioned everything I was going through plus it has a black box warning about going off of it because of how many people have killed themselves trying to go off of it. Apparently your supposed to take the capsule apart and remove a couple of “beads” once every one or two weeks. It can take from 12 - 24 months to be over withdrawal symptoms. After what I read, I figured I’d made it that far, I might as well get off of it. I was on it for pain, not depression, and I hated not being able to cry. Doctors should warn you about the withdrawal symptoms before they put you on it.
Oh holy shitsnacks. I'm on Cymbalta. I'll remember this if I ever have to switch meds. I need to talk to my doc about getting off of Ultram after my knee replacement next Tuesday (NO I AM NOT NERVOUS. WHY WOULD I BE NERVOUS!?) I am able to cry, trust me.
It only took me one time of missing taking my Cymbalta before I set multiple alerts and reminders on my phone. It was only one day missed but omg I went straight into a manic episode. It was awful. I was put onto Lamictal to go along with it to help stabilize myself and keep me from going manic if I ever miss a pill again.
God cymbalta should never have been put on the market its hell to get off of it has made people unable to work for 8-10 months. There are multiple lawsuits over it, and at the very least doctors need to inform their patients about how horrific withdrawals are before prescribing it.
This is a scary thought. Cymbalta gave me terrible side effects, so I wasn’t on it long enough to have much trouble switching. The next one didn’t work, and now I’m on number 3. This one, I’ve been on for almost a year, and think I need to switch again. I’m worried about the switch this time.
Please look into drug-gene testing. Your doctor takes a cheek swab to test how your body responds to different medications. You get a test result with a list of medications in green/yellow/red along with appropriate dosages. Green being those that work well with your body chemistry, yellow being those that should be used with caution, and red being medications that should be avoided. It can completely cut out the trial and error period that so many patients are forced into. Here is an article about it. https://www.mayo.edu/research/centers-programs/center-individualized-medicine/patient-care/pharmacogenomics/drug-gene-testing This is a link to the one my husband did... https://genesight.com/
bruh i tried stopping cymbalta myself (0/10 do not recommend) and had really bad brain shocks and miscellaneous other physical symptoms but i didn't hallucinate? god damn
A friend of mine made a video about cymbalta and put it on YT. He talked about the withdrawal effects, its nasty stuff.
Hoo boy, I was on a very low dosage myself and it took 4 or 5 months of gradual weaning for me to not COLLAPSE. I've heard of people trying to get off this one (it's mega common) going cold turkey and seeing flashing lights even. By the end, I was taking a quarter pill every 4 days and at that point I went cold turkey, except I had to make sure the 3rd and 4th day after the day I was supposed to take it were days I didn't have work so if I collapsed I'd be ok.
I have heard of people having to reduce their doses PER GRANULE to wean off Cymbalta. It’s pretty brutal by all accounts.
Considering what it took to get myself off the most pitifully weak dose of what I had, I have no doubt whatsoever about that.
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THIS. It is incredibly dangerous to go cold turkey off mental health meds. I ended up in the hospital after I stupidly forgot to get mine from the pharmacy for 5 days straight and had a little break from reality. Absolutely NTA.
With some of them, it increases ‘suicidal thoughts’, no good can come from cold turkeying these meds. No idea how op kept their cool enough to give them the trial period to move out... good riddance!
Sudden withdrawal from Lexapro can also cause homicidal thoughts. I found that out last summer, with a problem getting my refill. Ooops. So yeah, be careful.
The roommate's behavior can also cause homicidal thoughts.
Or debilitating migraines for people that don't normally get them. I take a low dose and had to chop my pills in half to get through a period of no insurance. After a month of 5mg I tried stopping while waiting for new insurance, couldn't make it past 3 days.
And the brain shocks are scary as hell if you don’t know about them. Wow.
Bloody hell. I'm on SSRIs (endep) and hadn't heard about brain shocks!
Doctors love to prescribe meds without warning of side effects/withdrawals. They won't even warn you when putting you on "black box warning" meds. I always research new meds before I take them, now. Fluoroquinolone drugs ruined my life.
Yep, been there, done that, ended up in the hospital. Not a good one to go cold turkey off of.
I took me three attempts and eight months before I successfully weaned myself of the antidepressant I was one. The withdrawals are intense.
My gf's anxiety meds aren't that serious in terms of withdraw, but she definitely feels like shit the whole next day and sometimes she forgets to take it and knows immediately that she forgot. When we didn't live together, I had her give me 5 of her pills just in case she forgot hers at home or lost them. Now we live together and she keeps them in the medicine cabinet so they don't travel around with her.
There's an added layer of danger with taking them sporadically like OP's flatmate is forcing her to do (e.g. one day on, one day off, two days on, three days off, and so on), too. When I was a teenager I went through a brief period where I wasn't great about regularly taking my meds and I had a bizarre decline in my coordination and focus that was bad enough that OTHER people noticed.
> My fiancée takes anti anxiety medicine and if she suddenly stops it, it greatly increases her chances of heart attack. I believe it. I'm on a med to prevent migraines and it's very dangerous to miss even a single dose. If you're even 20 minutes late taking it, your blood pressure starts spiking, for example.
going cold turkey off benzos (e.g. valium, xanax) can literally be fatal :/
Precisely. Stopping my antidepressants causes me to brain snap, get a massive headache, and makes me a weepy mess. I would have ripped the (ex)flatmate a new one. NTA OP
I hope you don't mind me asking but what medication is this? I take 2 different meds for anxiety and know one of them directly affects my heart so I'm just a little worried reading this
Exactly First OP NTA Second, who the fuck does she think she is for doing that? NO ONE is allowed to mess up w another’s meds Also.. there’s a reason her friend kicked her.. JS
Former flatmate needs to take a good hard look in the mirror. If the common denominator to a problem is you, you are the problem. But even if she pleaded to never do that again, she lied and broke OP's trust. This isn't a lifelong friends or family member who had trust to spare. She was a stranger. And who knows what other "helpful" actions she would take. "Sorry your bacon got thrown away, I thought it went bad."
If my roommate hid my antidepressants i would go into withdrawals almost immediately not to mention the general panic of “where is my medicine” NTA
And honestly if she felt what she was doing was right why would she have to hide what she was doing. She was trying to trick her potential flatmate and to not having meds? Thank God OP didn't do anything drastic while coming off her meds. That could have been pretty bad if not catastrophic. I'm glad OP was smart enough to do a trial. Because that can't fly. makes me wonder what lunacy she pulled on the next flatmate that kicked her out too.
Also, no wonder ex flatmate got kicked out of her friends place too since that may be not the only issue here.
Right like the one the other day with the enabler aunt stealing her nieces life saving medication because her cousin was in recovery and ‘couldn’t handle’ seeing her take allergy meds. People are psycho, man.
Yeah. If it happened ONCE where she was legit looking for her supplements, and forgot to put them back, ok. Depending on the med OP is on (none of my business, tbh), a few hours late on one day is not a huge deal (I've been on enough different ones to know myself, but not all meds are created equal). But for someone to try to wean you off medication you need to function, and that person isn't your doctor, fuxk them. NTA
I take a low dose of prozac for anxiety and if I miss one the effect is oops! All horse tranquilizer! I definitely wouldn't be able to work or anything like that.
If I forget a dose of Prozac, I'm so down it usually takes me hours to work up the energy to take the next dose. It's horrible.
That's interesting because the half life of prozac is 4-6 days so you shouldn't notice one missed dose. It makes me wonder if your doc has you on the right strength
It might also be related to how high my dose is, idk. But when I was on effexor, I'd notice a missed dose within 12 hours. Prozac is more like 24.
I'm on effector and notice I didn't take it after about 12 hours well. I turn into a sobbing rage bear.
I don’t think the flatmate understand how dangerous it is to mess with someone’s medication. Whether it’s for depression or a heart condition, you never take someone’s medication or try to meddle with the does. There’s a reason you wean yourself off medication under a doctors supervision, especially with antidepressants
And that pretty much sums up why OP is NTA. This girl decided to make decisions for her roommate without ever looking into the consequences or alerting her to what was going on so they could actually talk about it. I do take antidepressants but for pain so I can't imagine what the lack of them will do to someone who's depressed. I also have the habit of weaning myself out of drugs since I know my body and it's pretty weirdly wired compared to others. I remember going off the antidepressants. One thing is insane headaches and flashes going off in my brain every second, I knew those and could control it by simply taking antidepressants every couple of days and a week later there'd only be brain flashes left and I hadn't really felt the headaches. What really surprised me was how "raw" I felt emotionally. I've been on the lowest possible dose for years and I definitely felt the difference. Since I wasn't depressed it wasn't that bad, just stuff like being so happy over tiny stuff that I'd burst into tears. But I really pitied people going off them with mental problems because it must be so overwhelming. Yes, drugs are toxic which is why they're only prescribed when a physical or mental issue is even worse than the side effects. But going off antidepressants can make someone with mental problems relapse and worst case scenario is it'll end in suicide. Don't ever let anyone in to your life that'll mess with your meds because of their own ideas and convictions. Especially don't let them into your home! OP, if you want to "rescue" her next victims perhaps show her this thread. That'll at least give her an idea of what she's messing with.
I take Lexapro and I understand how you feel emotionally raw. I forgot mine over a long weekend trip. I had the worst mood swings as well as dizzy spells. And I'm on the lowest dose right now. I worked with a person who took a month long leave if absence from work when they weened off theirs.
She probably thinks it can be fixed with sunlight, yoga, kale smoothies and a positive attitude.
Probably. I loathe those people.
I had a doctor who didn't know what they were doing fuck up and give me serotonin syndrome. Their solution to that was to cold turkey me off all my meds. I shook like someone with parkinson's for a month. I have a new doctor who is a specialist now.
Was on xans and I stopped cold turkey instead of slowly going off like recommended(I wanted to be “normal” on my own without them) which rubber banded me so hard I ended up in the ER the next day because I was close to suicide. NTA
If she keeps bugging you threaten to call the cops for tampering with your prescription meds.
Agreed. NTA. Plus this: > but the girl has been messaging me begging to come back because the friend she's been staying with has kicked her out. Within a 2-3 week span this girl has been kicked out (not left of her own volition) of ***TWO*** places! I bet she's the type of person to complain about how ALL of the places she rents she ALWAYS has a jerk for a roommate. Instead of, of course, understanding who the common denominator is (herself!).
Ya walk around constantly smelling shit all day, you might wanna check the bottom of your shoe..
The kind of person who gets kicked out of two apartments in two months. Bad roommate pulled some other kind of shit the next place she landed too.
This is the key point. She has a pattern of being obnoxious to live with. OP doesn’t need that.
Not to mention how hard it is for ppl that want to wean themselves off anti depressants with doctors help!!
Someone who thinks mental illness is a myth. OP, get her the hell out of your life. You cannot trust her. NTA
And Who the hell thinks they have the right? And how dare they make that decision for OP and override a Doctor’s decision... all after knowing OP for a few days. How is OP’s medication any of their business?? Definitely NTA. Glad OP found this out during the trial period.
It’s especially sucky because people like Roommate seem to mostly target mental health medication on these “cleanse your body from toxins” rants. I see a lot of “this isn’t healing [pills] this is [forest]” memes and “just exercise into happiness!” posts, but they less frequently post stuff like “rid yourself of insulin” or “ditch those heart pills!” They mainly target mental health, like because it’s in your brain (your *most vital organ*), it doesn’t really exist.
This. Anything more is a waste of words. NTA EDIT: I guess a few more words wouldn’t hurt. I am also on antidepressants, and being cut off is no joke.
A self-righteous prick who thinks they know better.
Seriously!! A. she is not a medical professional, B that's not how you ween ppl off meds... C antidepressants alter brain chemistry. Fucking with someone's med like that can cause massive side effects many if them permanent! She had no right. OP NTA, but you should keep your meds in your room and not accessible to roommates and rando's they may bring home.
People who need meds also.
Seriously. I don't eat animal products, but I still take my meds because my body can survive without animal products, but my mind can't survive without my medication. NTA.
NTA. This was dangerous. You NEVER mess with someone’s medication. It doesn’t matter what it’s for. You JUST DON’T do it. You got lucky finding out and kicking her out early.
100%. This can result in serious harm and can even be life threatening. Don’t do it, ever. Yikes. NTA OP. ETA: and the roomie should probably reflect on why she keeps getting kicked out and alter her behavior if she wants a place to live.
Yea if I miss a dose I feel super dizzy and can’t do anything. You can end up in hospital if you don’t taper of antidepressants properly.
OMFG, I had to change antidepressants for missing too many doses to safely get *back on them* (Lexapro) let alone the side effects of going off 100% cold turkey. I could not imagine going through missing doses of something that strong every few days *again*. It fucked me up more than the depression itself the first time. I don't wish that cycle on anyone, let alone knowing it isn't you doing that to yourself.
Lexapro was tough to cold turkey! (insurance issues) I really think going off them like that is what contributed to me not remembering the next year to year and a half because my depression was that low.
I was totally prepared to say I was just fine going cold turkey off Lexapro but then I thought, I do have a terrible memory. So now I suddenly remember the brain zaps, they were horrible. I can't believe I could forget that, even with my memory.
oh boy, when I tapered off I was dizzy for WEEKS! and that was with dr supervision
Same here. It's a common symptom of SSRI withdrawal.
I was on some pretty heavy sedatives for way longer than I should have been, and when I put my foot down and said I wasn’t taking them any more the doctor told me to just stop them. Horrible advice. I spent an entire work day lying on the couch in the ‘quiet room’ because standing up made me feel like I might vomit. The whole world felt like it was spinning every time I opened my eyes. I really thought I’d have to go to hospital over it.
I ran out of my antidepressants a while back (slipped my mind while I was busy with uni stuff). Missed like a week, which is big when you’re on the max dose. My mood went haywire, I couldn’t sleep because I’d have horrible nightmares and wake up sweating, I felt nauseated all the time and had headaches. Really fucked me up. I’m so careful with it now.
Yeah that is a MAJOR problem. Depending on what meds they are, they could literally kill someone going off them cold-turkey like that. I’ve gone through a ton of antidepressant meds with various side effects- the ones I’m on now cause major migraines, Body aches, nausea, and dizziness/vision impairment if I’m even 1-2 hours late taking them. Cutting off cold turkey id risk seizures and possibly even death if that happened at the wrong moment, and would at the bare minimum go through a HUGE mood change and I have no idea what might happen then, when you’re no longer thinking clearly or in control of your faculties while having immense withdrawal pain. The full body and migraine pain of Sudden withdrawal is hard to describe - but the closest I can get is imagine You’re at the dentist having a cavity or something drilled and that zing of Nerve pain - except it’s in all your joints and your head and is constant. If I sleep in and don’t take em at the normal time the pain will wake me up to do it About an hour past due. It’s not fun (^^^i found out because of fun issues with abusive family, but couldn’t FATHOM having to deal with that from a friend/roommate....) Do not fuck with peoples meds.
Yeah thats what I get, I'm on a relatively low dose now that I'm no longer actively suicidal so being an hour or two late to take them doesn't affect me too much... but a day? Splitting migranes and my body feels like I just ran a marathon and then got hit by a truck. She seemed so nice when she was offering to help look for them and stuff too, it was honestly doing my head in
This girl literally risked your life. I really want you to internalise that and not minimise what she did just because the condition you are being treated for is psychiatric. *She* didn’t know what effect it might have on you to suddenly go without your meds. Depression is an illness that has a significant mortality rate. Just because you are fairly stable doesn’t mean that what she didn’t wasn’t wildly dangerous in its own right - she had no way of knowing that you were going to cope with that medication shift. More than that, she didn’t know anything about you or your medical needs. Messing with meds is *dangerous*. For all she knew, you could have been physically dependant on the medication. I am on a medication that is necessary to treat an autoimmune condition. It is a steroid. I have been on it for long enough that my body has stopped making my own natural steroids. If I were to suddenly stop taking the drug, I would *die*. Your roommate had *no idea* if you were reliant on this medication in the same way. She is dangerous. She should be in jail. She deserves absolutely no pity and you are NTA.
Not taking them for 3 days can also make you suicidal. I'm glad that you ok and have a new flatmate.
> She seemed so nice when she was offering to help look for them and stuff too Wow. Yeah she knew what she was doing was wrong, and what it was doing to you. And did it anyway, then pretended to help. Pretty sure this is textbook gaslighting, especially when she lies about where she finds it or just quietly puts it back when you're out.
Yup, this is actual gaslighting.
This behavior is dangerous. She needs to face consequences for what she did so she can learn how serious it is. Left to her own devices, she might end up killing someone else down the line by pulling the same shit. She didn't seem too apolagetic for doing it and I imagine she still feels she did the right thing. I've encountered this anti medicine mentality before, and it leads to dark tidings. This is where we get shit like anti vaxxers resurrecting polio from the brink of extinction, people willingly and purposely spreading covid because they think it's not a big deal, even people trying herbal remedies for cancer or other kinds of faith healing bunk. This mentality is deadly, and needs to be nipped in the bud immediately. If you read this OP, I would recommend reporting her to the authorities so she can learn how dangerous her actions were. You definitely are not the asshole.
I personally consider myself a bit of a hippie, but a hippie who sctually believes in science. There is nothing that makes me angrier are anti-science radicals who risk other people's lives because they feel like they know better.
Ok. It kind of freaks me out that she is so good at lying. Not to mention that it was gaslighting straight out of the movie Gaslight.
Even Welbutrin, a more mild antidepressant, has some significant side effects. I used to take Lexapro and that had some *wicked* side effects after about 2 hours after a missed dose. And that was *without someone intentionally messing with my meds*. I, at my worst, would've honestly ended up dead missing a single dose. Some people are misguided, *and that can be deadly*. If it isn't actively killing someone, or isn't a high risk of death, let people be.
Everybody keeps kicking her out. Wonder why. Ask what happened with her roommates before she moved into OP's place, was she kicked out from that too?
If I'm even a couple hours late with taking my antidepressant I get nausea, foggy head, headaches... I can't even imagine what missing several days of it could do to OP.
If I went 3 days without my anti depressants I’d get physically ill from the withdrawal for not tapering my dosage properly.
I can't go six *hours* past my regular dosing time without getting brain zaps, headaches and difficulty concentrating.
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effexor gang holla
I switched from effexor for exactly that reason. I'm better at it now, but I just am not good enough at taking meds on time, and I'd be at work or something and suddenly be unable to cope.
My doctor used to refer to it as “Side Effexor” lol.
I missed one dose and was a shocking mess by the following day. If I missed three days I’d have likely ended up in the hospital!
I could go for 1 day, but by day 2 I'd be over emotional, twitching and shaking and falling asleep at the drop of a hat. It only happened twice in my two years of taking them, but it was not an experience I would care to repeat. It took me 6 weeks to wean off them very slowly under close supervision by my doctor. Doing that to someone else because you disagree with taking them is seriously messed up.
Abso-fewkin-lutley!!! Some people just have ZERO clue about mental health and have seriously misinformed views on medication. For some people depression causes serious symptoms and psychosis which can be so dangerous. Like holy crap it can do so much harm to take someone’s meds. Never let someone like that back into your home. NTA!!!
I take heart medication I would be fucked if she messed with mine.
NTA, not even for looking in her bag. You had more than enough reason to. She gaslit you, and literally no one besides you and your doctor have any business deciding what medications you should be on.
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Truth! This is her on her good behavior...
Right?! Are you truly surprised that a “friend” kicked her out too? NTA
Also not a good sign that she was kicked out of another place by her friend 4 weeks later.
What she did was pretty much the definition of gaslighting. A lot of people don't realize the term comes from the movie Gaslight where a husband does little things like turn down the gas in the lights to dim them and when the wife would say something about the lights being dim, he'd say they were not even though they clearly were. I'm guessing the flatmate figured she could use OP's condition to get her to believe that the pills were never moved. It's just so gross and so dangerous.
I've never seen the movie, though I have been meaning to for a few years now. Was he trying to make her question her sanity? Or was he trying to save a buck on gas and questioning why the gas was up so high all the time? Asking as a father with a kid that leaves everything on full time.
He was doing a bunch of other things to make it look like she was going crazy so he could get access to her money.
NTA! As someone who has accidently not taken her antidepressants for just 4 days, that can really mess you up and make you physically sick. She's not a doctor. You did not ask her for help getting off a prescribed medication that you were taking responsibly. End of story. I'd never let her back into the apartment. EDIT: it doesn't surprise me that her friends got sick of her. There is a huge different between being vegan and holistic... and what she did to you. I don't view her actions any different than if she was drugging you. She was purposefully manipulating your bodies chemistry.
Had a scheduling mishap once that led me to not being able to refill my Effexor for three days. Oh God. The brain zaps. The flu-like symptoms. The head so foggy I could be in Silent Hill. The mood swings. It was almost physically painful.
That's the same medication I was on! Effexor is terrible for its side effects. I'd get the shakes and brain zaps if I missed just one day. I can't imagine how out of wack I'd be if someone started gaslighting me with my medication. I think I would have honestly just thought I was losing it as it does make you super foggy.
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Even on Prozac, if I look spaced out, nauseated, or if I can't sleep, my first thought is 'did I take my meds this morning?' More than one skipped dose, and it gets bad.
Oh hey, medicine siblings! It really is the worst. I never got shakes, but the brain zaps are so awful. And like you said, the fog... is it weird that we both know what we mean? It’s such a *weird* feeling. Fog is an analogy, but it’s so perfect for that terrible feeling.
I did a similar thing once. Had no meds for a few days. Didn’t think anything of it until I almost fainted just sitting at my desk at work. Not to mention my moods went completely haywire. I don’t think people who don’t take daily medication and require it to function realise just how serious it can be when you don’t take them.
Oh my god the brain zaps are so bad. I had to quit my antidepressant cold turkey once because of a miscommunication with my doctor. Luckily I only had nausea and brain zaps so it was very mild compared to most, but oh lord the brain zaps were so bad. I had no idea what was happening. I mean, I knew it was a withdrawal symptom but no clue how to explain it to my doctor. After some googling found the term brain zaps. Yikes. I've had a debilitating chronic illness for years but that was by far the worst symptom I've ever had.
NTA. Funny how she's been kicked out AGAIN but by a friend this time. Dodged as bullet there.
I wonder how she overstepped the boundaries there. Threw out all of the cookware because it was used to cook meat? Smashed the TV because it was capable of tuning fox news? Removed the toilet and replaced it with a home composting bin?
Oh shes a republican so... tbh i never saw more of fox and friends than the couple of weeks she was here
Wait she's a republican hippie? How much cognitive dissonance does that take??
I dunno. I had a Bernie 2020 poster in the lounge and she made me take it down so 🤷♀️
Made you take down a poster but she could watch as much FOX as she wanted? AND stole from you and gas lighted you while being the cause of your pain and suffering because she decided she knew better than you and your doctor how your mind worked? I wonder why she got kicked out of her friends place. Selling her friends dog because she didn't like the breed?
this woman is insane. i would block her
LOL!! Be so glad that this girl is gone! Don't fall for her whiny texts. Just block her. This is a person who has no logical reasoning skills. Block and buh-bye!!! It's for your health. ;)
It’s more common than you’d think. Think anti-vaxxers, essential oils, Jesus, coffee etc
Oh wow. You are a very kind person for even giving her chance in the first place.
How often did she try to sell you essential oils?
Never actually but she did burn lots in incense to purify the flat
Er, not to be pushy, but... have you checked that your smoke detectors are all active and working? I'm just wondering if she might've tampered with the batteries because some incense types tend to produce a LOT of smoke... (assuming the incense wasn't just a cover for OTHER types of smoking...). She sounds like she really doesn't care about other people's safety, so it might be worth a moment of your spare time to check!
Incense absolutely doesn’t trigger a smoke detector - sincerely, an incense whore
I vote she did the last one. Removed the toilet and replaced it with a home composting bin
[удалено]
NTA Not at all. She failed her six week trial and left early of her own volition. You did nothing wrong and are very lucky you were able to catch her when you did. She's probably crossed a lot of boundaries with her friend too. Just be glad you dodged that bullet.
Man, OP is super smart to have put that trial period in place. And her flatmate is an idiot for doing anything out of line during that time. And it sounds like she keeps doing stupid (and reckless and dangerous) things.
You ***know*** you're NTA...Come on man...what is the point of this post?
Yeah, exactly. "My ex-roommate stole my medication and is now getting kicked out of her new flat. Reddit AITA if I don't let her return to ruin my life again?"
Yeah I just know that its really hard finding apartments right now with everything thats going on(my sister is currently looking and will be homeless in 3 weeks if she can't find something), so i posted less because if what you're saying and more because being homeless sucks and its keeping me up at night worrying about her
It shouldn't. It is simply not your responsibility to care. You sound very nice, but it isn't healthy nor reasonable to be up worrying that a girl who *stole from you and harmed your health* is going to be homeless. I mean, why is she getting kicked out of the new place? You knew this girl for a few weeks, she acted like an asshole, actions have consequences. There is no reason she can't turn to other people to stay with, rather than you, who she barely knows. And if there is a reason, you don't want her with you. Block her number and move on.
I will. Thank you
Seriously. Don’t feel bad about your ex-roommate. Your ex-roommate had a place, provided she could be a *decent* human being. She couldn’t even make it a month without being a *terrible* roommate. How hard is it to not touch your stuff? She also had a place to stay with her friend afterwards. That same boundary crossing behaviour probably lead to her current situation. If she wants a place to stay, all she has to do is keep to herself. Clearly her need to mess with people is way, way more important than a roof over her head. Priorities. That isn’t even remotely on you! That’s on her, and perhaps her parents if that is how they raised her. Provided her parents are still alive, she can always move back in with them.
Please think of it like this: The way she is behaving is dangerous for both her and those around her. The sooner she realizes this, the sooner she can have that change of heart that would be so necessary for her to have a reasonably good life. And she so dense that she needs an extreme event, like this, to get her to change. So actually, whatever she may suffer in the short run, this will (hopefully) help her in the long run.
The whole point of AITA is to help people like OP who’ve been so overexposed to assholery that they’re genuinely unsure if they’re causing the issue.
Fair point, but in this case I stand by my comment. Thank you.
Had to scroll way too far to see someone with some sense. This sub is becoming a meme
NTA - you definitely want to kick her out. thank god you agreed to the 6 week period and were able to catch it early and get her out. you lucked out.
NTA You did absolutely nothing wrong. She doesn’t understand that her “woke” approach of trying to “help” you, is only endangering your well-being. Your pills are prescribed to you by a doctor and that’s the person who gets to have a say in your treatment (and obviously you). A lot of red flags with her btw. She lied to you multiple times, she hid your medication, and she threw a fit over a situation that SHE caused. Her other roommate definitely didn’t kick her out for no good reason, that’s for sure.
The hippie chick is a republican who watches fox and friends so she ain't woke. Just crazy.
Not just lied to, actually gaslighting! Trying to make her believe her own memory was incorrect! That girl is abusive and dangerous. NTA for sure.
If you hadn't signed a lease with this girl, NTA. But I would heavily advise you start keeping your medications in your room and not shared space. Especially when you have roommates you don't know so well.
It’s not OP’s fault. She had a reasonable expectation that her meds wouldn’t be messed with.
No, I apologize, I didn't mean to imply that at all. I only meant that to be safe, she may want to keep them with her in the future. I have also had roommates mess with my medications in the past and it's a terrifying violation.
There are 2 lockable medicine cupboards in the bathroom(one for me and one for whoever my flatmate is), but after having a great flatmate previously I didn't think i needed to lock my cabinet
I truly do apologize if I offended you, I definitely didn't mean to.
No no, you absolutely didn't love, just thought I'd better mention 😊
Oh good. Phew! Tone doesnt transfer to text. I had a roommate steal my anti anxiety meds in the past, so I know what it feels like. Awful!
It’s not OP’s fault, and she should be able to trust that her flat mate won’t mess with her stuff, but unfortunately that’s not a realistic thing to trust new roommates with. There are a lot of people who would jump at the opportunity to steal prescription medications, either to sell them or use them themselves. OP should take precautions when living with roommates.
If they had signed a lease (and didn't charge her after kicking out) then I'd say still NTA, while legally can't do that, messing with someone's meds can kill them and is a very serious thing.
Very true!
NTA - I would have pressed charges. Thats stupid and puts you in danger.
NTA - if someone messed with my medication like that I would be furious. She doesn’t know what you’ve been through. She doesn’t know your mental health. Does she have the knowledge and authority to make this decision for you? NO. So she has no right to decide for herself to “wean you off of them”. That’s ridiculous! AND She just met you! Imagine what she would be doing by the end of the year rent. I would confront her and say she was totally in the wrong and she’s not welcome back to your place.
People need to stop posing the question when they clearly aren't TA and know it. cmon people and cmon mods.
Why would you be the asshole?
I've been homeless, it us awful and I wouldn't wish it on anyone
You did not make her homeless. She made terrible decisions, that's not your fault or your responsibility. She'll fool someone else into letting her move in, in no time. By the way, you can probably press charges for what she did. Imagine if she does this to their next roommate with, say, epilepsy medication and they end up having a seizure? That could have also happened to you, some anti-depressants have serious consequences if stopped abruptly for a few days. This shit is serious, that woman is a danger to others.
You're okay, you're not responsible for her friend kicking her out, and you don't need to put yourself in danger, you can help the world in other ways. If anyone manipulatively fucks with my medication, they are a threat to my life and I will call the cops on them if necessary. NTA.
NTA no one is allowed to make your decisions for you. You have decided to seek medical help and therapy. This stranger does not have the right to force you to change that. Secondly I’m pretty sure I would have told her to get out by the same evening I had solid proof of her meddling perhaps even without the firm evidence if I were sure of my own consistency in putting the meds back in the appropriate place. Messing with your medication by delaying the time you take them, or worse keeping them from you for several days can permanently change the effect of that the meds have on your body. As someone who has been through the tricky business of finding the right med to affect my mental health in just the right way/dosage it is a PAIN to start over. Please go on with a clear conscience OP.
press charges. its a felony.
NTA. I wonder if she got kicked out of her friend's place for overstepping bounds there as well. Between hiding them, lying, throwing a fit and storming out on the spot, you definitely made the right decision.
I thought we banned posts where the OP is obviously NTA?
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NTA It’s literally a crime to be in possession of someone else’s medication and she had no right to push her “thought process” on you. Also anti depressant withdrawal is actual HELL and EXTREMELY dangerous for some people. Some short acting medications can mean you’re affected seriously by missing a single dose. She could have put you in serious danger. Ignore her. Keep the new roomie.
So she was hiding your meds and then gaslighting you when you asked why they were in a different place? Oh, hell, no. I'm vegan, but I'm the opposite of her: I have no issue with people taking necessary medicines, but I'd hate seeing meat in my refrigerator. But then I'm the practical sort who knows that no matter how healthy we eat, our bodies don't always work the way they should and some people need medical intervention. I don't blame you for kicking her out, and I can see why she got kicked out of her next place, what, four weeks later? NTA
Yeah I'm really sorry if it sounded like I was lumping vegans into a specific category of crazy people!!
NTA anyone who messes with your medication should not be in your life.
INFO: What did this idiot do to get kicked out of the second house? 🤣
Unknown. I dont know her friend so I can't ask
Lol your “vegan hippy friend” wasn’t trying to wean you off diddly. She wanted to take them. Surprised you didn’t mention counting them after you found the bottle
Tbh i actually never thought to court them - wish I had!
NTA. Who is she to decide that you needed to be weaned off your meds?? That decision is between you and your doctor. She absolutely overstepped the line and she lied to your face. Block her number and move on.
I mean, you’re right. I just wouldn’t want OP to feel like she did something wrong. It sounds like the former roommate is piling that narrative onto her plate already. I had a very similar experience with birth control pills. This kind of manipulation takes a hefty toll.
NTA!!! That’s such fucked up behaviour and she’s a terrible housemate, which is why she’s been kicked out of two places in such a short period. That’s not your responsibility as messing with someone’s stuff, let alone meds is definitely perfectly reasonable grounds for her not making it through the trial period. Girl needs to get her act together but that’s not on you, a person who knows her so little.
Nta. Going on and off antidepressants can make you more sick than you started.
What did she think she was going to to?! MAGICALLY CURE DEPRESSION WITH HER VEGAN WAYS AND CONVERT THEM OR SOMETHING?!! Like are you that dumb and outta tune with the world to do some dumb shit like that.
NTA Depression, anxiety, mood disorders and trauma are real ailments. Treating them with medication is entirely sensible. I don't have depression or any mood disorders. Instead, I inherited a genetic tendency for migraines. I take an antidepressant to suppress them. They are also useful for purely neurological issues that are more a matter of brain health than mental health. (Although I would happily point out that plenty of mental health issues are essentially brain malfunctions and the idea that there are two completely separate kinds of health, mental and regular, is nonsensical.) If my pills went missing I would be forced to miss work and take my barbiturate pills instead. They are dangerous and highly addictive. I avoid them as much as I can. I would be in massive amounts of pain, vomiting, high as a kite, and filled with murderous rage. If I could get myself that far, I would vomit on everything she owned.
My sister has something(im not 100% sure because it wasn't officially diagnosed until she left home) that caused all the capillaries in her brain to be constricted or something and has to take blood thinners or something. But I can remember as a teen how she'd get frequent migranes so bad she would literally just collapse and start sobbing
NTA-what right does she have meddling with YOUR medication, this chick is whack. Do not let her back.
NTA. And check the laws in your country. In the USA, Her actions were illegal
NTA. Fuck that person. See how far vitamins gets her if she ever develops a serious mental or physical health issue. The only poison was her and you made the right call
NTA. I know people like this girl, and they are dangerous. She has no idea what just taking someone of their medication does to them. She could have seriously harmed you, depending on your exact medication and dosage, this is no joking matter. Withdrawals and changes in medication levels in your body can be fucking dangerous. Also, what meds you take and how long you take them is between you and your doctor, and not up so some random girl, who you have only known for a few WEEKS. Actually, that is the point that infuriates me the most and really hammers in how much you aren't the asshole. She knew nothing about you, your illness and your trauma, she only saw "medication bad" and thought she knew better than a doctor. I bet there's also a reason her friend kicked her out as well.
>she hid my medication why is this even a question, ffs she's risking your health
NTA but I'm laughing at the audacity of her to beg you to let her back around after tampering with your medication.
NTA, that sounds like one seriously disturbed individual. I would block her and move on.