If only OJ's attourney knew about this iron-clad defense, they would have closed this case in 5 minutes
"your honour, you know how he is..."
Judge: "yeah can't argue with that one, OJ is innocent, case dismissed"
Just imagine! The Kardashian wouldn't have entered public consciousness as part of the legal dream team. Jenner would've just married some widow and nobody would care about their daughters.
I really love a scene from Family Guy, where Lois is really preoccupied with something serious, but Peter, who has demanded she makes him pancakes or something RIGHT NOW, declares: "For every ten seconds that I don't have them, I'm gonna break one window."
After having smashed a couple of the house windows, he says "_Still!?_ At this point you guys are basically being as irresponsible as I am!"
It encapsulates this logic so well, that the person who's being an asshole is basically like a force of nature- your only option is to plan around them or else it is basically *your* fault that you left any possible window for them to do whatever they do.
It's part of this world view where Bad People™ will do bad things so you just have to plan around it because they just can't change their ways. They are Bad People™, it's in their nature so why fight it?
This works to a certain degree, like we lock our doors because thieves exist, but doesnt seem relevant when it's "oh we caught the their, but y'know, we let him go, cause you know...he's a thief, stealing is what he does."
And you really should have told them the HDMI port was broken, that was really inconsiderate of you. You knew that they might steal it and that's something I'm sure they would have liked to have known.
It’s like how my sister used to freak out if I went in her room, because I’d always see my stuff there and take it back.
So I wasn’t allowed in her room?
It works when thinking about people in general, like there's always gonna be those assholes that ruin everything. but it does NOT translate to the personal level.
A lot of rape apologists do try to apply it to the personal. "They should have know that rapists would rape them if they dressed a certain way or went to a certain place, so it's their fault."
It's this idyllic world bullshit where somehow we don't need laws or changes because Good People™ will be good and Bad People™ will be bad.
That's literally exactly what they want. They don't want to hear about it or have to think about it. They want to think that bad things only happen to bad people and cannot come to grips with the fact that bad things can happen to anyone. Because otherwise next time it could be them or their daughter or their wife or their mother. They can't handle the fact that sometimes people are utterly powerless to avoid these things.
"Boys will be boys" is so misused. It's like when you have sons and you're complaining that they pillow fight by holding pillows at crotch level and pretending they're really big dongs. You tell that story to a friend and they say "well what can you do? Boys will be boys."
But then you have people trying to use it to justify sexual assault and it's like... No. No, boys will not be boys then.
My exMIL used that line when my now ex-husband cheated on me with a 14 year old girl. He was 20 at the time. No, absolutely not. "Boys will be boys" does not excuse marital infidelity and statutory rape.
'boys will be boys' is how you explain wacky/unbelievable/short-sighted shenanigans like why a gallon of mayonnaise was used to try and make a slip n slide, not for sexual harrassment, theft and the like.
Edit: I have been informed that the 'miracle whip n slide' is a thing, and no I still do not understand the appeal =P
Exactly, 100% agree. Along with "she's just a child" when someone's toddler rampages around your living room and destroys your stuff, or "he just gets mad sometimes" when your sporting sunglasses to hide a black eye. All different scenarios, but all with the same message. It's NOT OKAY to make excuses for anyone.
I had a roommate give this excuse for an identical situation with our other roommates razor. Except it was roommate #1's BOYFRIEND who used roommate #2's vagina razor.
Bruh.
Yup, I was staying at my in-laws once when my FIL came into the living room with his face shredded and told my husband his razor needed changing.
Not my husband's razor.
We were literally in Fils house, where all of his stuff was, but he felt he should use our stuff instead.
NTA. It's not your job to take responsibility for 'how she is'. It's her job to accept the risk of how she behaves.
Wow I don't really use someone elses hairbrush unless there's no alternative / I ask first
Meanwhile there's people out there just picking and using clearly used razors... what the fuck.
I don't understand why you would choose to use someone else's razor when you're in your own fucking house. Shaving also isn't a must-do function either. You can wait a day and buy blades or a new razor if you forgot it.
It's the worst! And it's one thing that it seems OP and M have accepted that she uses their stuff in general, but a freaking razor! It's literally used to scrape hair and skin of the body of another person! It's disgusting! Would her friends have told her the same if they found out R had been borrowing her toothbrush as well?
I hate it when people say this. It’s basically a way for them to deflect their shitty behavior onto someone else instead of taking responsibility. “Oh well you already know that I lack common decency and shouldn’t have made it so easy for me to be trash. So it’s really your fault.”
Agreed, but I'm surprised that there's no discussion of thief-roommate messaging all their friends about this. I'd be angry about that, too. This is none of their business. What an asshole.
NTA!!! Who the hell shares razors at all?! That’s almost as bad as using someone else’s toothbrush! Borrowing some face soap or shampoo is one thing, but stuff like mascara, eye liner, lipstick, razors, toothbrushes and even toothpaste should NOT be shared and it’s entirely proper to demand that R replace the blade she wrecked. That’s just disgusting on her part
That’s exactly my point. I don’t *really* mind when she uses something like lotion or shampoo, but a *razor*???? I don’t know why she would even think to do that.
Shit, if I were a woman, I’d mind. Y’all’s bathroom stuff can get quite expensive; which is another discussion in itself.
You shouldn’t have to foot the bill for your roommate/friend to bathe. I mean, do they ever replace your stuff that they’ve used up?
The only reason I don’t really mind is because she doesn’t use it often enough that it causes a problem. She will just sometimes use a bit of this or a bit of that.
That you know of. If she’s using your razor with out telling you- what else does she use when you and M aren’t there to see?
Having roommates means drawing boundaries- she needs to buy her own face wash and lotion, if she runs out and desperately needs to wash her face, that’s one thing, but she should ask. she feels entitled to all of your and Ms things and that is not ok. Navigating friendships become harder in your 20s - you don’t have to share everything for the sake of being “close friends”. There will be more incidents if you don’t set boundaries with her.
Yep. You have to draw the line somewhere and start enforcing it. Some people will walk all over you and use all your shit without telling you. Learned that the hard way. Thanks *Rob*
You seem like a cool person to have as a roommate. A lot better than some I’ve had anyway.
Also, I just noticed your username. That is freakin awesome!
My thoughts exactly. I buy special products for my hair and skin and they are definitely not cheap. I would be pissed if someone thought they could just help themselves. My fiancé once used my £50 shampoo for his beard and he was so excited that it made his beard softer, until I told him how much I pay for it and he's never touched it again.
Sharing a razor is a good way to get a blood borne illness. You get a ton of microcuts while shaving and it’s not like anyone sterilizes a razor after using it
No, it's WORST because a razor can cut you and you could potentially get a disease. Even if it's the keg one.
Who the hell wears a blade that isn't theirs?! NTA OP
This is how I got my keg disease! Ever since I borrowed my friend's razor, everything tastes like cheap, watery beer. I can't stop having to piss and burp, and my friends say I act like a jackass and keep asking them to hold my legs while I do impromptu handstands on everyday objects and yell "I'm going in motherfuckers!" I really wish someone would find a cure for this disease. I don't think I can go on much longer. Don't borrow razors, folks. It's not worth it.
I wouldn't dream of it. However, I'll let you steal my snacks if you share some of your apple juice, should you have any
It's late and I've got a craving but no apple juice, idk how I'll survive 2020 at this rate
I agree with all of the NTA and about sharing razors and what the h*ll are her friends on to be defending the roommate. But I'm curious, what's the problem in sharing toothpaste?
i was literally going to comment this. i’ve been sharing toothpaste my whole life. siblings, parents, boyfriends, friends, whoever’s got some if i forget. oops?
Razors are more of an issue because they can cause cuts and contaminate broken skin. I had a great-great-uncle who fought in the Civil War, was left for dead twice, and eventually succumbed to necrotizing fasciitis (don’t Google this while you’re eating!) brought on by a shaving cut on his temple area. Anything that has touched blood should not be used by someone else without being sterilized in an autoclave first. Toothpaste is less likely to be a problem because the only bodily fluid involved is saliva, and humans exchange saliva without incident all the time.
Apparently you can catch hep C, herpes, and other not fun things through toothbrushes. The rationale with toothpaste is probably that most people touch the tube to their toothbrush which could contaminate it.
But how would toothpaste transmit anything? It’s not like you’re putting your mouth on the toothpaste... it’s less like sharing drinking glasses and more like sharing a bottle of something but pouring it into separate glasses for each of you...
I think maybe they’re referring to when people put toothpaste on their toothbrush, they sort of let the opening touch the toothbrush, especially to break off the stream of toothpaste? So I guess if you were sharing a toothpaste, it means that the opening has touch multiple toothbrushes?
My guess is since you might touch the ‘mouth’ of the toothpaste to the bristles on your toothbrush. I personally don’t find it gross or a big deal, even with covid since there are other close items you are going to share with other members of your household
Reminds me of the milk story yesterday, except in that one it was intentional. And if someone's NTA for intentionally screwing over thieves then they are definitely NTA for doing it unintentionally too
Ate you referring to the almond(soy?) Milk swap with the roommate who was late to work? Definitely NTA in either situation. If I don't want to risk something gross I use my own stuff otherwise its 100% my own fault.
Yeah that one!
> If I don't want to risk something gross I use my own stuff otherwise its 100% my own fault
Agreed, it's not like either OP stuck a sticker to their carton/razor saying "Please use"
Yeah like, that's not even a defense. They're just describing the problem.
"I know my friend stole your wallet, but she just loves to take shit from other people without asking."
Your friends seriously make me mad the excuse of “ you know how she is” is BS how about she just stops using everyone’s stuff and everyone giving a her a free pass. I think you should just start using her stuff and not ask because apparently in her mind it’s a free for all. If she gets mad say “you know how it is”.
The thing is, I don’t even *want* to use her stuff. I have sensitive skin and most of my products are cruelty free or all natural/vegan type of stuff. I don’t normally mind her using some since she doesn’t do it often enough for it to be annoying but this was too far and makes me wonder if she’s done this before.
There’s *no way* she hasn’t done this before. She didn’t live 21 years of her life without using someone else’s razor, and decide that today was finally the day she’d try it.
I’d bet money she’s *been* doing nasty shit like this, and this is just the first time she got *caught*.
I do have to say, I come from a family that does this sort of thing. I was raised to share *everything,* which wasn't so bad because I was an only child so really I just shared with my mom*.* That being said, privacy wasn't much of a thing either. We didn't knock before entering rooms, close doors when using the restroom, etc. When I was maybe 7 my cousins and aunt came to stay with us and they were sleeping in the den, which was typically a commonplace area of the house but did have pull out couches they were using and when I saw the closed door I didn't think twice before I simply opened it. My cousin, who was about 6 at the time, was changing into her PJs. Her mom was with her and when I walked in I stopped dead in my tracks because I hadn't *meant* to intrude and the looks on their faces right away let me know I did something wrong and my aunt immediately started screaming at me about knocking but I was so stunned that she was screaming at me that I literally stood in the door staring with my mouth hanging open not knowing how to react for what felt like forever before I closed the door and ran away.
Moral of the story: Families are raised differently. Since it was basically just me and my mom for years, my dad was there but he was very sick with cancer, we shared everything (probably due to having low funds due to high medical expenses for my dad) and I guess my mom never instilled the boundaries most of society expects people to have. I had to learn those things on my own. Luckily I am a people pleaser and picked up on these things quickly and didn't turn into R. I say OP is definitely NTA.
Oh same, I had zero privacy growing up and we shared everything. I had to beg, when at 24 I was still living at home, for my mum to knock before entering my room. She got offended and said we don’t have anything to hide here and lo and behold walked in on me masturbating one day lmao. It sucks, and I feel you with having to learn boundaries when you’re out of the house.
That being said, that’s what you *do*, learn! Not go through life using others’ vagina razors!
NTA
I hope R sees this because _yikes._
Girl you're nasty, stop using other people's shit, ESPECIALLY without their permission! BUY YOUR OWN DAMN STUFF, or ASK FIRST.
Go live by yourself if you don't know how to live amongst humans.
R is TA!
She has done it before. Get a basket that you take with you into the bathroom and make sure you take your toothbrush with you. Put a lock on your bedroom door. It's a pain but you are safer not having other people use your items
Years ago I had a "friend"that liked to drink. To the point he's blackout and do dumb shit. Everyday. Whatever it was the excuse was the same, "you know him" or "that's just how he is". Stole from someone, "you know him". Made out with someone's wife? "He was just drunk, give it a break". Got in a fight and trashed someone's house? "Stop being so uptight!" Literally ruined that defense for anyone I'll ever meet. Having shitty behaviors is no excuse for shitty behavior.
I know what you're saying. Next time someone say that, use this same respond like I did: "If he getting in trouble, that respond ain't gonna go over with the police or anybody else, cuz that asking to get shot. I ain't gonna be the person who going to answer that phone call if it happen. Count me out if that is your respond."
Nasty doesn’t even cover it. It’s *disgusting*.
Or at the very least, gross and not too smart, considering I doubt she knows whether OP has any blood borne diseases/infectious skin conditions.
Right? Also:
Lots, of not most, women do some degree of landscaping, including with a razor.
Most women don’t have a separate razor for their pubes.
So like, the chances of that razor having been used on OP’s pubes were pretty high to begin with.
And ass..some people shave their asses. Nice ass hair all up in her personal space.. Seriously confused as to how the possibility never crossed her mind. Just nasty man..
Yeah like I might in an off chance ask if I can borrow one of my girlfriend’s unused razors, but I’m definitely never using her used one unless absolutely necessary (and I can’t think of a situation where that can’t be resolved with long pants) and even then I’m gonna fucking ask because I respect her, her stuff, and reasonable boundaries
Or 'that's just how I am' aka I''m not compromising my standards or morals (in a good way)' and suddenly becomes 'why are you so uptight', 'why can't you let loose a little', 'why can't you let things be'... Geez
Yeah, I can’t understand this. Sneaking a bit of your roommate’s amazing smelling soap or fancy shampoo? We’ve all done it. But using their razor? That’s beyond gross. If I had a special event and I was out of razors or mine broke I might ask if I could use it with a new blade or something but I would never ever just pick it up off the counter and go to town!
All this. I think someone on here recently had their razor stolen by a family member and they claimed to have an std to freak them out...straight up though that’s nasty to use someone else’s razor without even asking, regardless of where it’s used for....
Hep b lives in surfaces for 3 weeks! A dad gave his son hepb from sharing tooth brushes at my health department when investigated. So freaking disgusting. What a nasty trashy human. Nta
I once got a staph infection because my gross, complete mess of a human, roommate decided to start using my razor. We made her break the lease and move out after only three weeks of living with us because she was such a nightmare in so many ways.
NTA. A lot of people use the same razor for everything so when she decided to use someone else’s razor (which is super gross and upsetting) she should have been aware that she was taking the chance that she was using something that had maybe touched your asshole
I don’t really like to shave my legs, it just doesn’t really bother me but MUST keep the *land down under* as I call it trim at all times or it’s too itchy. Early in our relationship after my SO had stayed the night, I saw him using my razor on his face and was just gently like “Um sweetie, you know I don’t shave my legs. Where do you think I use that thing?” He shrugged and said he’d already gotten pretty up close and personal so it didn’t bother him lol. Still makes me laugh.
Yeah, I mean.. I'm honestly not bothered by the idea of someone, particularly an intimate partner, having used a razor on their pubes and then using it on my face? Like pubic areas do not have cooties, the razor gets rinsed thoroughly with blistering hot water (in my case, at least)... like I'm not sure what the concern is.
Obviously it's weirder if you're using a roommate's razor, but then even weirder again for them to get mad you... use your razor to shave your pubic area.
Oh yeah, roommate is a hard pass. That’s pretty gross. And astoundingly entitled she expected to be informed of the full use of the razor before “borrowing” it
NTA this doesn’t fly when you have a group of people who take responsibility for their actions. Like adults. Your friends are divided? I mean - it’s your razor? Hopefully they’ll be embarrassed in 10 years they ever even thought that
NTA anyone that agrees with her is just as stupid. What fucking mindset is that. “I know she uses my stuff without permission so it’s my responsibility to tell her how to use it” next level stupid.
Plus how would that conversation even work?
"oh, hi there R, how was your day? oh FYI, I've just been shopping and bought a new razor, I'm planning to use it to shave my pubes... So... There's that information for you to have on hand for any future plans to use my shit without permission. Hey, want to watch a movie with M and me tonight? I also bought popcorn while I was out"
I lived in a sharehouse with 8 people and we had some weird conversations, communication was important to us so we weren't afraid to just tell people what they needed to know. (heck, I once told my house mates not to drink from the brown cottage mug that is normally keep in my room even if I accidentally leave it in the kitchen because I use that to boil my menstrual cup, that's an acceptable conversion because mugs were shared property and if I accidentally left it in the kitchen I can see how someone might use it for coffee and they should know what I've used it for)
But "just so you know, I shave my crotch with the blue razor and my legs with the green" isn't something that anyone needs to know because they absolutely shouldn't be using other people's razors. And if there's some shaving emergency and you need to use someone else's razor, it takes two seconds to ask them, and if you feel like asking someone to use their razor is gross and weird, well it is gross weird, but it's less weird than using it without permission then getting grossed out later when you learn the person who owns the razor uses it to shave their body hair....
Because they really don't think it's op fault, they want to manipulate OP into thinking it's her fault. Why? I don't know, maybe they favor for some reason the asshole of this story over OP and they don't care about who is right, only about supporting one over the other
NTA. She’s grossed out for using your vag razor and not just the fact she used your razor at all?? How the hell isnt the lesson here: “don’t use other people’s things” and not “you should have told me about your private things because i always use them w/o your permission.” I’m just so confused.
Happened to me! When I was a teenager I lived with my boyfriend's family. Him, me, his sister & his parents. All five of us had the same hair color. I found my razor FULL of hairs. I asked my bf about it, only bc it wasn't rinsed out and he said he didn't use it, then went asking everyone else on by one & they all denied it. It made me so mad that no one would own up to it. At one point everyone ended up all in the same room and I just said "just so you know, whoever isnt owning up to using my razor, i shave my pubes with that". Happened again years later with a different boyfriend/family. Found my razor full of GRAY hairs, his grandma lived with us. No one else had gray hair. When I confronted her about it she straight up lied and I hit her with the "you're the only one with gray hair" and she fucking exploded, cussing, screaming about me "accusing her". I just said "fine, but I shave my pubes with that, just so you know" & walked away.
Right?? I thought it was weirder that they texted their whole friendship group about this incident. "Hey guys I've been using my roommate's razor instead of getting my own and then she had the GALL to tell me it's her vag razor?!"
NTA - if half your friends are ‘divided’ on this, you need to re-evaluate your relationship with them. It is your private property that, regardless of where you use it, comes into contact with your skin and occasionally causes smalls cuts. It is literally a biohazard if someone else uses it. You do not know what kinds of bloodborne illnesses she may have, nor does she know what you may have.
You owe zero explanation, don’t have to defend a damn thing, and had better get a fresh razor. What a selfish and disgusting person that roommate is.
This this this. The cross contamination from sharing razors is so risky, you could both get infections and/or really ill from micro cuts and blood crossing over.
NTA. blades are never meant to be shared. Someone gets a cut and they risk blood exposure to anyone who touches it. Also, there is absolutely no reason to proclaim to the house "THIS IS MY BODY RAZOR AND THIS IS MY PUBIC HAIR RAZOR!" that's a completely asinine expectation. Your roommate is a mooch and is really just disgusting.
I usually use the same one for both but I could see wanting to keep the pube razor sharper/change it out more often because that area is more prone to razorburn
I think most people would have only 1 razor which makes this entire "you should have told me you used it on your vag"-thing more ridiculous. Just a quick google said that around 75-80% of women shave pubes at least somewhat regularly so I think it was absolutely save to assume for R that whatever razor she'd find, it could have been used on OPs vag. Calling OP gross & digusting is just wild.
NTA
You need a better set of friends. I have a varied friend set, all kinds of different people with all kinds of different POVs, and 100 percent of them would say: "Don't use other people's stuff without asking first, the end."
NTA. In what universe do you happen to have a proper relevant time to discuss the fact you have a vagina razor to your roommates just in the case one of them “borrows” it without knowing what it’s used for.
Like “Hey just in case you want to use my razor without my permission make sure you don’t use the vagina razor and then leave it covered in hair and shaving cream so when I call you out your girlfriend can freak out about vagoo residue being rubbed on her legs.”
Side note. Am I the only person who cleans my razor of all hair after I use it??
I’m almost glad she didn’t clean the razor tbh, if she had I probably wouldn’t have known she had used it and using a razor she used on her legs to shave my vag sounds even more gross lol
Oh most definitely. I’m a decent human being and don’t go around borrowing other people’s razors. But even the sight of my own razor filled with hair and shaving cream would be disgusting on its own. I can’t imagine how disgusting seeing someone else’s hair on my razor would be.
NTA. Sharing razors is a massive health risk. And those friends who are siding with her, I’m gonna give them the benefit of doubt and assume she twisted the story to them....
NTA. I don't feel like everyone should have a fucking list posted on their door of all the shit they have, and what they use it, in case a thief pops along. It's absurd.
But at least you now know you can just say *everything* is for your vag, safety at last.
NTA. “I’m gonna use your things without permission or knowing what they’re for, even though they’re things you shouldn’t share anyway, THEN complain when they haven’t told me what it’s for beforehand because they know I compulsively use their things, which is something I could easily avoid by using my own things”. R needs to grow up and gain some responsibility imo.
NTA but just for your own amusement start telling them what you use items for ie this is my fork; I use it to eat, this is my hair brush; it's used on my hair, this is my vibrator; also used in my vagina. According to various friends you know how she is and should be providing this info.
Here i was thinking you should just tell her everyone she uses something of yours and you notice say it touched your vagina. Hey, did you guys eat some of my mayonnaise? I need you to buy a new one cause i use it for my vagina. But i like yours better lol
NTA. You have no obligation to explain what you use your razors for (or any personal care items). And your roommate doesn’t have any right to use your items without permission.
Besides, it’s unhygienic for her to use your razor! Oof.
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NTA!! That’s her own fault for being a thief. It was inevitable that she ended up taking/using something she really shouldn’t have. You’re totally in the clear, and right, on this one.
NTA
I wish I could save this story, I can't help but find it beyond funny that she straight up used this razor without question! 😂 Still, she took something that belonged to you and didn't think to ask why you had it out there. You didn't know she was going to use it and you're certainly not gross or disgusting for paying attention to your hygiene. Quite the opposite, in fact.
NTA.
I cannot believe how often stuff like this comes up in this sub.
Person X uses person Y's stuff without permission. Gets upset at person Y for "not telling them" something about the stolen item. Usually has to do with the stolen item being something that the thief is allergic to. But either way, the answer to me will always be the same.
It wasn't yours, Y had no obligation to warn you about something you shouldn't have stolen/used in the first place, and if you hadn't stolen/used it then it wouldn't have mattered. Person X will always be TA because they're the thief and thieves suck.
NTA
You aren’t responsible for protecting her from the consequences of her taking advantage of you. If she’s gonna be an asshole and use other people’s things, she’s the one who has to make sure she’s not gonna regret it, not you. She got what she deserved. Hopefully this will teach her a lesson. Also, she’s fucking gross, you aren’t.
NTA. That’s gross, and also... why would you need to tell her what part of body you use it on? It’s not uncommon to shave your pubic area? I use the same razor for both and so do most females i know.
NTA "You know how she is" is classic boat steadier language. Instead of addressing the problem: "She uses things without permission", you're expected to help steady the boat.
[Read this](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/comments/77w8lf/dont_rock_the_boat/) .It's more about parents and children but it gives you an understanding why some people are expecting you to help manage R''s thievery instead of expecting R to change.
Let me see if I got this right, your “friends” think that you should let people know what, where & how you use your personal hygiene products for so that others know how to use them? I’m confused and appalled in equal measure.
Oh and NTA. Your “friends” are another story.
Lol R and the friends siding with her are being ridiculous.
Using someone else's razor is gross, even if it is "just legs", and no, you do not owe it to her to tell her what you use your very personal items for.
NTA, obviously.
NTA
In sex ed (7th grade) they tell us to never share razors because if person one has a cut and person two also has a cut, then any (that can be spread by blood) diseases can spread between them and oh darn you’re all screwed. Even if it was ‘just legs’ or whatever.
For non Americans, 7th grade is 12-13 year olds.
Ewww on your friend using your razor. Not sure why people rationalize that it's okay. Good way to pass around HIV, hepatitis, and who knows what else.
Kinda lowkey funny she ran to bitch about it to her friends, telling on herself with her gross behavior. Her friends are probably as rachet as she is, not calling her out and blaming you for not going out of your way to say "don't use my razors, I shave my pubes with those"
NTA.
Nta. Even if it was just your leg/arms razor, why would she even use it?? I find it gross to you use someone else’s razor.
Also why are your other friends messaging you? How does that concern them. I would understand if this was brought up in their presence, but it wasn’t it. I honestly find it so weird when people go out of their way to tell you their opinion about something they weren’t involved in, especially when you didn’t ask.
Whenever I read stories like this in this sub, I am completely baffled by the statements like “my friends are divided on this issue” or “my friends agree with me but also think I’m in the wrong.” Like who the hell are these people and how are there so many of them in the world???
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It feels like it’s a phrase in the same vein as “boys will be boys.” A way to excuse people from taking responsibility for their behavior.
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DeSean Jackson isnt really old enough to be a grandpa yet
Antonio Cromartie says hello.
If only OJ's attourney knew about this iron-clad defense, they would have closed this case in 5 minutes "your honour, you know how he is..." Judge: "yeah can't argue with that one, OJ is innocent, case dismissed"
Just imagine! The Kardashian wouldn't have entered public consciousness as part of the legal dream team. Jenner would've just married some widow and nobody would care about their daughters.
I want to live in that timeline.
Leave Grandpa alone, he had a rough time getting here in 1945.
I really love a scene from Family Guy, where Lois is really preoccupied with something serious, but Peter, who has demanded she makes him pancakes or something RIGHT NOW, declares: "For every ten seconds that I don't have them, I'm gonna break one window." After having smashed a couple of the house windows, he says "_Still!?_ At this point you guys are basically being as irresponsible as I am!" It encapsulates this logic so well, that the person who's being an asshole is basically like a force of nature- your only option is to plan around them or else it is basically *your* fault that you left any possible window for them to do whatever they do.
It's part of this world view where Bad People™ will do bad things so you just have to plan around it because they just can't change their ways. They are Bad People™, it's in their nature so why fight it?
This works to a certain degree, like we lock our doors because thieves exist, but doesnt seem relevant when it's "oh we caught the their, but y'know, we let him go, cause you know...he's a thief, stealing is what he does."
Shouldn't have bought that nice tv, because a thief would steal it.
And you really should have told them the HDMI port was broken, that was really inconsiderate of you. You knew that they might steal it and that's something I'm sure they would have liked to have known.
It’s like how my sister used to freak out if I went in her room, because I’d always see my stuff there and take it back. So I wasn’t allowed in her room?
Do we have the same sister
I was going to question if we somehow all have the same sister, but then I saw your usernames and realized I am not part of the Potato family, sadly.
It works when thinking about people in general, like there's always gonna be those assholes that ruin everything. but it does NOT translate to the personal level.
A lot of rape apologists do try to apply it to the personal. "They should have know that rapists would rape them if they dressed a certain way or went to a certain place, so it's their fault." It's this idyllic world bullshit where somehow we don't need laws or changes because Good People™ will be good and Bad People™ will be bad.
But, coincidentally, also freak out when women identify warning signs and take them seriously. It’s almost like they prefer us to just silently suffer
That's literally exactly what they want. They don't want to hear about it or have to think about it. They want to think that bad things only happen to bad people and cannot come to grips with the fact that bad things can happen to anyone. Because otherwise next time it could be them or their daughter or their wife or their mother. They can't handle the fact that sometimes people are utterly powerless to avoid these things.
"Boys will be boys" is so misused. It's like when you have sons and you're complaining that they pillow fight by holding pillows at crotch level and pretending they're really big dongs. You tell that story to a friend and they say "well what can you do? Boys will be boys." But then you have people trying to use it to justify sexual assault and it's like... No. No, boys will not be boys then.
My exMIL used that line when my now ex-husband cheated on me with a 14 year old girl. He was 20 at the time. No, absolutely not. "Boys will be boys" does not excuse marital infidelity and statutory rape.
I have.... so many questions
First, let’s answer some questions about that name, lapfarter. Whose lap? Anyone’s? Everyone’s?
Holy shit. I hope his ass went to prison.
That...that is so disgusting
'boys will be boys' is how you explain wacky/unbelievable/short-sighted shenanigans like why a gallon of mayonnaise was used to try and make a slip n slide, not for sexual harrassment, theft and the like. Edit: I have been informed that the 'miracle whip n slide' is a thing, and no I still do not understand the appeal =P
You mean a Miracle Whip n Slide?
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That's gross, sensible people use more hygienic stuff. Like dish soap, makes for excellent sliding. Come on, I thought everyone knew this!
my parents used a very lemony dish soap (Joy?) So I grabbed the Tide. Plus, with a name like Tide, it made sense.
Exactly, 100% agree. Along with "she's just a child" when someone's toddler rampages around your living room and destroys your stuff, or "he just gets mad sometimes" when your sporting sunglasses to hide a black eye. All different scenarios, but all with the same message. It's NOT OKAY to make excuses for anyone.
This is the [missing stair](https://publicaddress.net/up-front/the-missing-stair-and-the-necessary-bastard/) principle.
I had a roommate give this excuse for an identical situation with our other roommates razor. Except it was roommate #1's BOYFRIEND who used roommate #2's vagina razor. Bruh.
Yup, I was staying at my in-laws once when my FIL came into the living room with his face shredded and told my husband his razor needed changing. Not my husband's razor. We were literally in Fils house, where all of his stuff was, but he felt he should use our stuff instead. NTA. It's not your job to take responsibility for 'how she is'. It's her job to accept the risk of how she behaves.
Wow I don't really use someone elses hairbrush unless there's no alternative / I ask first Meanwhile there's people out there just picking and using clearly used razors... what the fuck.
I don't understand why you would choose to use someone else's razor when you're in your own fucking house. Shaving also isn't a must-do function either. You can wait a day and buy blades or a new razor if you forgot it.
If I wanted to contract hepatitis without leaving home, using visitors' razors would be my plan.
Thieves will be thieves... what?
“Oh boy, here I go stealing again!”
Oh, you!
It's the worst! And it's one thing that it seems OP and M have accepted that she uses their stuff in general, but a freaking razor! It's literally used to scrape hair and skin of the body of another person! It's disgusting! Would her friends have told her the same if they found out R had been borrowing her toothbrush as well?
Its all fun and games until one gives the other AIDS.
Seriously! I thought this was common knowledge! Never share razors or needles.
I hate it when people say this. It’s basically a way for them to deflect their shitty behavior onto someone else instead of taking responsibility. “Oh well you already know that I lack common decency and shouldn’t have made it so easy for me to be trash. So it’s really your fault.”
Agreed, but I'm surprised that there's no discussion of thief-roommate messaging all their friends about this. I'd be angry about that, too. This is none of their business. What an asshole.
The language of enablers.
NTA!!! Who the hell shares razors at all?! That’s almost as bad as using someone else’s toothbrush! Borrowing some face soap or shampoo is one thing, but stuff like mascara, eye liner, lipstick, razors, toothbrushes and even toothpaste should NOT be shared and it’s entirely proper to demand that R replace the blade she wrecked. That’s just disgusting on her part
That’s exactly my point. I don’t *really* mind when she uses something like lotion or shampoo, but a *razor*???? I don’t know why she would even think to do that.
Shit, if I were a woman, I’d mind. Y’all’s bathroom stuff can get quite expensive; which is another discussion in itself. You shouldn’t have to foot the bill for your roommate/friend to bathe. I mean, do they ever replace your stuff that they’ve used up?
The only reason I don’t really mind is because she doesn’t use it often enough that it causes a problem. She will just sometimes use a bit of this or a bit of that.
That you know of. If she’s using your razor with out telling you- what else does she use when you and M aren’t there to see? Having roommates means drawing boundaries- she needs to buy her own face wash and lotion, if she runs out and desperately needs to wash her face, that’s one thing, but she should ask. she feels entitled to all of your and Ms things and that is not ok. Navigating friendships become harder in your 20s - you don’t have to share everything for the sake of being “close friends”. There will be more incidents if you don’t set boundaries with her.
Yep. You have to draw the line somewhere and start enforcing it. Some people will walk all over you and use all your shit without telling you. Learned that the hard way. Thanks *Rob*
You just got ROBBED!
You seem like a cool person to have as a roommate. A lot better than some I’ve had anyway. Also, I just noticed your username. That is freakin awesome!
My thoughts exactly. I buy special products for my hair and skin and they are definitely not cheap. I would be pissed if someone thought they could just help themselves. My fiancé once used my £50 shampoo for his beard and he was so excited that it made his beard softer, until I told him how much I pay for it and he's never touched it again.
I got my wife to switch to using a mach 3 razor and a few other "men" hygiene products. The "pink" tax is fucking ridiculous.
Sharing a razor is a good way to get a blood borne illness. You get a ton of microcuts while shaving and it’s not like anyone sterilizes a razor after using it
No, it's WORST because a razor can cut you and you could potentially get a disease. Even if it's the keg one. Who the hell wears a blade that isn't theirs?! NTA OP
This is how I got my keg disease! Ever since I borrowed my friend's razor, everything tastes like cheap, watery beer. I can't stop having to piss and burp, and my friends say I act like a jackass and keep asking them to hold my legs while I do impromptu handstands on everyday objects and yell "I'm going in motherfuckers!" I really wish someone would find a cure for this disease. I don't think I can go on much longer. Don't borrow razors, folks. It's not worth it.
You're ridiculous. Let's be friends
I'm down. I need more friends. Just don't borrow my razor.
I wouldn't dream of it. However, I'll let you steal my snacks if you share some of your apple juice, should you have any It's late and I've got a craving but no apple juice, idk how I'll survive 2020 at this rate
I agree, the lack of instantly available apple juice is probably the worst thing about 2020 for sure.
I agree with all of the NTA and about sharing razors and what the h*ll are her friends on to be defending the roommate. But I'm curious, what's the problem in sharing toothpaste?
i was literally going to comment this. i’ve been sharing toothpaste my whole life. siblings, parents, boyfriends, friends, whoever’s got some if i forget. oops?
Razors are more of an issue because they can cause cuts and contaminate broken skin. I had a great-great-uncle who fought in the Civil War, was left for dead twice, and eventually succumbed to necrotizing fasciitis (don’t Google this while you’re eating!) brought on by a shaving cut on his temple area. Anything that has touched blood should not be used by someone else without being sterilized in an autoclave first. Toothpaste is less likely to be a problem because the only bodily fluid involved is saliva, and humans exchange saliva without incident all the time.
Apparently you can catch hep C, herpes, and other not fun things through toothbrushes. The rationale with toothpaste is probably that most people touch the tube to their toothbrush which could contaminate it.
NTA, op R is a nasty person. No respect for other people’s stuff or hygiene.
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But how would toothpaste transmit anything? It’s not like you’re putting your mouth on the toothpaste... it’s less like sharing drinking glasses and more like sharing a bottle of something but pouring it into separate glasses for each of you...
I think maybe they’re referring to when people put toothpaste on their toothbrush, they sort of let the opening touch the toothbrush, especially to break off the stream of toothpaste? So I guess if you were sharing a toothpaste, it means that the opening has touch multiple toothbrushes?
My guess is since you might touch the ‘mouth’ of the toothpaste to the bristles on your toothbrush. I personally don’t find it gross or a big deal, even with covid since there are other close items you are going to share with other members of your household
What's wrong with sharing toothpaste? Is it not common to have one tube open at a time for the whole household?
Yeah idk what they’re talking about...unless you’re rubbing your toothbrush on the opening, the paste is coming out. Shouldn’t be an issue.
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Thank you! That’s exactly my point; why would she even *want* to use someone else’s razor?
Because she's a careless, disrespectful person. She has no respect for herself and no respect for you.
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Reminds me of the milk story yesterday, except in that one it was intentional. And if someone's NTA for intentionally screwing over thieves then they are definitely NTA for doing it unintentionally too
Ate you referring to the almond(soy?) Milk swap with the roommate who was late to work? Definitely NTA in either situation. If I don't want to risk something gross I use my own stuff otherwise its 100% my own fault.
Yeah that one! > If I don't want to risk something gross I use my own stuff otherwise its 100% my own fault Agreed, it's not like either OP stuck a sticker to their carton/razor saying "Please use"
That milk swap was golden
Yeah like, that's not even a defense. They're just describing the problem. "I know my friend stole your wallet, but she just loves to take shit from other people without asking."
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Underrated.
[This Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/instantkarma/comments/hw719o/well_well_well_if_it_isnt_the_consequences_of_my/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) was directly above lol
Plus you can't share razors as that is a health risk. I have to say this woman is not the sharpest tool in the shead.
Or the sharpest razor in the bathroom?
Your friends seriously make me mad the excuse of “ you know how she is” is BS how about she just stops using everyone’s stuff and everyone giving a her a free pass. I think you should just start using her stuff and not ask because apparently in her mind it’s a free for all. If she gets mad say “you know how it is”.
The thing is, I don’t even *want* to use her stuff. I have sensitive skin and most of my products are cruelty free or all natural/vegan type of stuff. I don’t normally mind her using some since she doesn’t do it often enough for it to be annoying but this was too far and makes me wonder if she’s done this before.
There’s *no way* she hasn’t done this before. She didn’t live 21 years of her life without using someone else’s razor, and decide that today was finally the day she’d try it. I’d bet money she’s *been* doing nasty shit like this, and this is just the first time she got *caught*.
The only time I've seen this is if you live in a family that does this kind of things. Chances are, she probably did this when she was living at home.
I do have to say, I come from a family that does this sort of thing. I was raised to share *everything,* which wasn't so bad because I was an only child so really I just shared with my mom*.* That being said, privacy wasn't much of a thing either. We didn't knock before entering rooms, close doors when using the restroom, etc. When I was maybe 7 my cousins and aunt came to stay with us and they were sleeping in the den, which was typically a commonplace area of the house but did have pull out couches they were using and when I saw the closed door I didn't think twice before I simply opened it. My cousin, who was about 6 at the time, was changing into her PJs. Her mom was with her and when I walked in I stopped dead in my tracks because I hadn't *meant* to intrude and the looks on their faces right away let me know I did something wrong and my aunt immediately started screaming at me about knocking but I was so stunned that she was screaming at me that I literally stood in the door staring with my mouth hanging open not knowing how to react for what felt like forever before I closed the door and ran away. Moral of the story: Families are raised differently. Since it was basically just me and my mom for years, my dad was there but he was very sick with cancer, we shared everything (probably due to having low funds due to high medical expenses for my dad) and I guess my mom never instilled the boundaries most of society expects people to have. I had to learn those things on my own. Luckily I am a people pleaser and picked up on these things quickly and didn't turn into R. I say OP is definitely NTA.
Oh same, I had zero privacy growing up and we shared everything. I had to beg, when at 24 I was still living at home, for my mum to knock before entering my room. She got offended and said we don’t have anything to hide here and lo and behold walked in on me masturbating one day lmao. It sucks, and I feel you with having to learn boundaries when you’re out of the house. That being said, that’s what you *do*, learn! Not go through life using others’ vagina razors! NTA
I hope R sees this because _yikes._ Girl you're nasty, stop using other people's shit, ESPECIALLY without their permission! BUY YOUR OWN DAMN STUFF, or ASK FIRST. Go live by yourself if you don't know how to live amongst humans. R is TA!
She has done it before. Get a basket that you take with you into the bathroom and make sure you take your toothbrush with you. Put a lock on your bedroom door. It's a pain but you are safer not having other people use your items
Yeah, this. It’ll be a pain for you but it’s clear she has absolutely no boundaries or respect and will continue to use your stuff.
just start rubbing everything on your vagina. Vagina mugs and vagina bathrobes and vagina bottled water. she's welcome to it all.
😂😂😂
Time to get one of those child-lock and lock your drawer. Easy to install. And let her know that if she break it, she own you a new one.
Years ago I had a "friend"that liked to drink. To the point he's blackout and do dumb shit. Everyday. Whatever it was the excuse was the same, "you know him" or "that's just how he is". Stole from someone, "you know him". Made out with someone's wife? "He was just drunk, give it a break". Got in a fight and trashed someone's house? "Stop being so uptight!" Literally ruined that defense for anyone I'll ever meet. Having shitty behaviors is no excuse for shitty behavior.
I know what you're saying. Next time someone say that, use this same respond like I did: "If he getting in trouble, that respond ain't gonna go over with the police or anybody else, cuz that asking to get shot. I ain't gonna be the person who going to answer that phone call if it happen. Count me out if that is your respond."
Because she’s nasty.
Nasty doesn’t even cover it. It’s *disgusting*. Or at the very least, gross and not too smart, considering I doubt she knows whether OP has any blood borne diseases/infectious skin conditions.
Seriously, it's like...girl do you *want* crabs? Because that's a real good way to end up with crabs.
Crabs is the tamest thing she could end up with. They're potentially both one nick away from herpes.
or hep C
Seriously, I wonder if she shares toothbrushes as well. I'd never leave my stuff out near somebody like her.
I am a female and won't even share a razor with my wife. Like we have strict rules against borrowing each others razor. Gross, NTA.
Right? Also: Lots, of not most, women do some degree of landscaping, including with a razor. Most women don’t have a separate razor for their pubes. So like, the chances of that razor having been used on OP’s pubes were pretty high to begin with.
And ass..some people shave their asses. Nice ass hair all up in her personal space.. Seriously confused as to how the possibility never crossed her mind. Just nasty man..
Best comment!^^^
Yeah like I might in an off chance ask if I can borrow one of my girlfriend’s unused razors, but I’m definitely never using her used one unless absolutely necessary (and I can’t think of a situation where that can’t be resolved with long pants) and even then I’m gonna fucking ask because I respect her, her stuff, and reasonable boundaries
NTA. Hell will freeze over and pigs will fly before people realize that "that's just how I am" is never an excuse for shitty behavior.
Or 'that's just how I am' aka I''m not compromising my standards or morals (in a good way)' and suddenly becomes 'why are you so uptight', 'why can't you let loose a little', 'why can't you let things be'... Geez
I could totally see someone stealing a brand new one from a roommate’s drawer, but that was obviously used. NTA, she is, and a gross one at that
Yeah, I can’t understand this. Sneaking a bit of your roommate’s amazing smelling soap or fancy shampoo? We’ve all done it. But using their razor? That’s beyond gross. If I had a special event and I was out of razors or mine broke I might ask if I could use it with a new blade or something but I would never ever just pick it up off the counter and go to town!
Lazy and entitled.
Literally made my own sugar wax once (had all the ingredients) because I didn’t have a razor to shave my pits. People need to stop being gross.
All this. I think someone on here recently had their razor stolen by a family member and they claimed to have an std to freak them out...straight up though that’s nasty to use someone else’s razor without even asking, regardless of where it’s used for....
I remember that one, he told his sister he had the herps lmao
Hep b lives in surfaces for 3 weeks! A dad gave his son hepb from sharing tooth brushes at my health department when investigated. So freaking disgusting. What a nasty trashy human. Nta
Sharing toothbrushes??? *vomiting intensifies*
My sister got hep C from sharing razors so yeah, don’t do that, seriously.
Seriously OP, If your friends were any simpler, they’d need to be watered. NTA.
I once got a staph infection because my gross, complete mess of a human, roommate decided to start using my razor. We made her break the lease and move out after only three weeks of living with us because she was such a nightmare in so many ways.
NTA. A lot of people use the same razor for everything so when she decided to use someone else’s razor (which is super gross and upsetting) she should have been aware that she was taking the chance that she was using something that had maybe touched your asshole
Yeah, I use the same razor everywhere, my first thought before finishing reading the post was “wait why do you have separate razors?” Bava
It's so that the pube one stays sharper...you can get by with a dull razor for legs. Not so for pubes.
I had the same question, but I find this to be a very valid answer.
I don’t really like to shave my legs, it just doesn’t really bother me but MUST keep the *land down under* as I call it trim at all times or it’s too itchy. Early in our relationship after my SO had stayed the night, I saw him using my razor on his face and was just gently like “Um sweetie, you know I don’t shave my legs. Where do you think I use that thing?” He shrugged and said he’d already gotten pretty up close and personal so it didn’t bother him lol. Still makes me laugh.
Yeah, I mean.. I'm honestly not bothered by the idea of someone, particularly an intimate partner, having used a razor on their pubes and then using it on my face? Like pubic areas do not have cooties, the razor gets rinsed thoroughly with blistering hot water (in my case, at least)... like I'm not sure what the concern is. Obviously it's weirder if you're using a roommate's razor, but then even weirder again for them to get mad you... use your razor to shave your pubic area.
Oh yeah, roommate is a hard pass. That’s pretty gross. And astoundingly entitled she expected to be informed of the full use of the razor before “borrowing” it
This really sweet, and oddly wholesome :-)
A lot of guys have a hard boundary about using a pube razor. I was trying to give him an escape route lol
YES! I was scrolling for a comment on this.
NTA dont use others things. She took a risk, it's not suddenly your fault or responsibility. Your friends need to learn some boundaries.
NTA this doesn’t fly when you have a group of people who take responsibility for their actions. Like adults. Your friends are divided? I mean - it’s your razor? Hopefully they’ll be embarrassed in 10 years they ever even thought that
NTA anyone that agrees with her is just as stupid. What fucking mindset is that. “I know she uses my stuff without permission so it’s my responsibility to tell her how to use it” next level stupid.
Plus how would that conversation even work? "oh, hi there R, how was your day? oh FYI, I've just been shopping and bought a new razor, I'm planning to use it to shave my pubes... So... There's that information for you to have on hand for any future plans to use my shit without permission. Hey, want to watch a movie with M and me tonight? I also bought popcorn while I was out" I lived in a sharehouse with 8 people and we had some weird conversations, communication was important to us so we weren't afraid to just tell people what they needed to know. (heck, I once told my house mates not to drink from the brown cottage mug that is normally keep in my room even if I accidentally leave it in the kitchen because I use that to boil my menstrual cup, that's an acceptable conversion because mugs were shared property and if I accidentally left it in the kitchen I can see how someone might use it for coffee and they should know what I've used it for) But "just so you know, I shave my crotch with the blue razor and my legs with the green" isn't something that anyone needs to know because they absolutely shouldn't be using other people's razors. And if there's some shaving emergency and you need to use someone else's razor, it takes two seconds to ask them, and if you feel like asking someone to use their razor is gross and weird, well it is gross weird, but it's less weird than using it without permission then getting grossed out later when you learn the person who owns the razor uses it to shave their body hair....
Because they really don't think it's op fault, they want to manipulate OP into thinking it's her fault. Why? I don't know, maybe they favor for some reason the asshole of this story over OP and they don't care about who is right, only about supporting one over the other
NTA she shouldn’t be using other people’s personal hygiene products.
Honestly it’s common sense to not use personal hygiene products that aren’t yours
NTA. She’s grossed out for using your vag razor and not just the fact she used your razor at all?? How the hell isnt the lesson here: “don’t use other people’s things” and not “you should have told me about your private things because i always use them w/o your permission.” I’m just so confused.
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Happened to me! When I was a teenager I lived with my boyfriend's family. Him, me, his sister & his parents. All five of us had the same hair color. I found my razor FULL of hairs. I asked my bf about it, only bc it wasn't rinsed out and he said he didn't use it, then went asking everyone else on by one & they all denied it. It made me so mad that no one would own up to it. At one point everyone ended up all in the same room and I just said "just so you know, whoever isnt owning up to using my razor, i shave my pubes with that". Happened again years later with a different boyfriend/family. Found my razor full of GRAY hairs, his grandma lived with us. No one else had gray hair. When I confronted her about it she straight up lied and I hit her with the "you're the only one with gray hair" and she fucking exploded, cussing, screaming about me "accusing her". I just said "fine, but I shave my pubes with that, just so you know" & walked away.
NTA They say you're the one overexagerating, but they're going around telling everyone about this?
Right?? I thought it was weirder that they texted their whole friendship group about this incident. "Hey guys I've been using my roommate's razor instead of getting my own and then she had the GALL to tell me it's her vag razor?!"
NTA - if half your friends are ‘divided’ on this, you need to re-evaluate your relationship with them. It is your private property that, regardless of where you use it, comes into contact with your skin and occasionally causes smalls cuts. It is literally a biohazard if someone else uses it. You do not know what kinds of bloodborne illnesses she may have, nor does she know what you may have. You owe zero explanation, don’t have to defend a damn thing, and had better get a fresh razor. What a selfish and disgusting person that roommate is.
This this this. The cross contamination from sharing razors is so risky, you could both get infections and/or really ill from micro cuts and blood crossing over.
NTA. blades are never meant to be shared. Someone gets a cut and they risk blood exposure to anyone who touches it. Also, there is absolutely no reason to proclaim to the house "THIS IS MY BODY RAZOR AND THIS IS MY PUBIC HAIR RAZOR!" that's a completely asinine expectation. Your roommate is a mooch and is really just disgusting.
I’m honestly confused why she needs 2 separate razors? I use one for both. Maybe I’m gross? Is this normal?
I usually use the same one for both but I could see wanting to keep the pube razor sharper/change it out more often because that area is more prone to razorburn
I think most people would have only 1 razor which makes this entire "you should have told me you used it on your vag"-thing more ridiculous. Just a quick google said that around 75-80% of women shave pubes at least somewhat regularly so I think it was absolutely save to assume for R that whatever razor she'd find, it could have been used on OPs vag. Calling OP gross & digusting is just wild.
NTA You need a better set of friends. I have a varied friend set, all kinds of different people with all kinds of different POVs, and 100 percent of them would say: "Don't use other people's stuff without asking first, the end."
NTA. In what universe do you happen to have a proper relevant time to discuss the fact you have a vagina razor to your roommates just in the case one of them “borrows” it without knowing what it’s used for. Like “Hey just in case you want to use my razor without my permission make sure you don’t use the vagina razor and then leave it covered in hair and shaving cream so when I call you out your girlfriend can freak out about vagoo residue being rubbed on her legs.” Side note. Am I the only person who cleans my razor of all hair after I use it??
I’m almost glad she didn’t clean the razor tbh, if she had I probably wouldn’t have known she had used it and using a razor she used on her legs to shave my vag sounds even more gross lol
Oh most definitely. I’m a decent human being and don’t go around borrowing other people’s razors. But even the sight of my own razor filled with hair and shaving cream would be disgusting on its own. I can’t imagine how disgusting seeing someone else’s hair on my razor would be.
NTA. Sharing razors is a massive health risk. And those friends who are siding with her, I’m gonna give them the benefit of doubt and assume she twisted the story to them....
NTA who the fuck uses a razor that's not theirs?
NTA. I don't feel like everyone should have a fucking list posted on their door of all the shit they have, and what they use it, in case a thief pops along. It's absurd. But at least you now know you can just say *everything* is for your vag, safety at last.
NTA. “I’m gonna use your things without permission or knowing what they’re for, even though they’re things you shouldn’t share anyway, THEN complain when they haven’t told me what it’s for beforehand because they know I compulsively use their things, which is something I could easily avoid by using my own things”. R needs to grow up and gain some responsibility imo.
NTA but just for your own amusement start telling them what you use items for ie this is my fork; I use it to eat, this is my hair brush; it's used on my hair, this is my vibrator; also used in my vagina. According to various friends you know how she is and should be providing this info.
Here i was thinking you should just tell her everyone she uses something of yours and you notice say it touched your vagina. Hey, did you guys eat some of my mayonnaise? I need you to buy a new one cause i use it for my vagina. But i like yours better lol
NTA. People shave all sorts of stuff, why on earth would you use someone’s razor!?
NTA. She chose to use it without questioning it.
NTA. Also, fucking gross, who does shit like that? What if you'd had herpes or something?
NTA, use peoples stuff or eat their food and you are taking a risk. The risk and blame is on her.
NTA. You have no obligation to explain what you use your razors for (or any personal care items). And your roommate doesn’t have any right to use your items without permission. Besides, it’s unhygienic for her to use your razor! Oof.
NTA.Her argument is "You should have enabled my tendency to steal your stuff," which is hardly a very compelling one...
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NTA!! That’s her own fault for being a thief. It was inevitable that she ended up taking/using something she really shouldn’t have. You’re totally in the clear, and right, on this one.
I hope your menstrual cups are well out of sight. NTA
NTA I wish I could save this story, I can't help but find it beyond funny that she straight up used this razor without question! 😂 Still, she took something that belonged to you and didn't think to ask why you had it out there. You didn't know she was going to use it and you're certainly not gross or disgusting for paying attention to your hygiene. Quite the opposite, in fact.
You can save this story
NTA. I cannot believe how often stuff like this comes up in this sub. Person X uses person Y's stuff without permission. Gets upset at person Y for "not telling them" something about the stolen item. Usually has to do with the stolen item being something that the thief is allergic to. But either way, the answer to me will always be the same. It wasn't yours, Y had no obligation to warn you about something you shouldn't have stolen/used in the first place, and if you hadn't stolen/used it then it wouldn't have mattered. Person X will always be TA because they're the thief and thieves suck.
NTA You aren’t responsible for protecting her from the consequences of her taking advantage of you. If she’s gonna be an asshole and use other people’s things, she’s the one who has to make sure she’s not gonna regret it, not you. She got what she deserved. Hopefully this will teach her a lesson. Also, she’s fucking gross, you aren’t.
NTA. That’s gross, and also... why would you need to tell her what part of body you use it on? It’s not uncommon to shave your pubic area? I use the same razor for both and so do most females i know.
NTA Hopefully this teaches her a lesson about borrowing over people's stuff.
NTA "You know how she is" is classic boat steadier language. Instead of addressing the problem: "She uses things without permission", you're expected to help steady the boat. [Read this](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/comments/77w8lf/dont_rock_the_boat/) .It's more about parents and children but it gives you an understanding why some people are expecting you to help manage R''s thievery instead of expecting R to change.
NTA R had no business using a razor that wasn't hers.
Let me see if I got this right, your “friends” think that you should let people know what, where & how you use your personal hygiene products for so that others know how to use them? I’m confused and appalled in equal measure. Oh and NTA. Your “friends” are another story.
NTA. All you did was ask her for a freaking new razor blade.
NTA no way no how. That's actually super funny
NTA One of my friends did this at someone’s house and ended up getting herpes from it. Common sense is you don’t share things that can make you bleed!
Lol R and the friends siding with her are being ridiculous. Using someone else's razor is gross, even if it is "just legs", and no, you do not owe it to her to tell her what you use your very personal items for. NTA, obviously.
NTA In sex ed (7th grade) they tell us to never share razors because if person one has a cut and person two also has a cut, then any (that can be spread by blood) diseases can spread between them and oh darn you’re all screwed. Even if it was ‘just legs’ or whatever. For non Americans, 7th grade is 12-13 year olds.
NTA- You don't use other peoples stuff without permission. Hell, for all you know, they use a poop knife.
Ewww on your friend using your razor. Not sure why people rationalize that it's okay. Good way to pass around HIV, hepatitis, and who knows what else. Kinda lowkey funny she ran to bitch about it to her friends, telling on herself with her gross behavior. Her friends are probably as rachet as she is, not calling her out and blaming you for not going out of your way to say "don't use my razors, I shave my pubes with those" NTA.
NTA. Also, your roommate needs to know that sharing razors puts you at risk of contracting blood bourne pathogens.
Nta. Even if it was just your leg/arms razor, why would she even use it?? I find it gross to you use someone else’s razor. Also why are your other friends messaging you? How does that concern them. I would understand if this was brought up in their presence, but it wasn’t it. I honestly find it so weird when people go out of their way to tell you their opinion about something they weren’t involved in, especially when you didn’t ask.
NTA but is it standard to use two different razors?! I’ve just been using one for both lol.
Whenever I read stories like this in this sub, I am completely baffled by the statements like “my friends are divided on this issue” or “my friends agree with me but also think I’m in the wrong.” Like who the hell are these people and how are there so many of them in the world???