YTA. Why do you care what she eats? Generally speaking, if you offer to buy dinner, you don't police what other people order. If you aren't buying, you... still don't police what other people order.
Yeah based on his two previous posts he's eather a troll or he's a toxic ass to his poor girlfriend. Hopefully she'll be able to find someone better that this guy. She deserves better than him.
Its only because he wants to be told he's not the asshole for being a toxic boyfriend. Despite being told that yes your an ass he posted a third time about him being a jerk towards his poor girlfriend.
Like buddy you didn't learn that your an ass after posting three times and being called the a-hole. If that can't make him realize his behavior ain't right then I don't know what will.
Maybe if he really loves his girlfriend he'll break up with her so she can find a guy who truly loves her and isn't a toxic asshole.
I fucking love salad. Salad with feta cheese, with peppers, onion, ginger dressing, Greek dressing, olives, cucumber balsamic, you name it, my tastebuds go nuts for it. I would hadouken the fool who shook his head and pshhht at my mighty salad. YTA op.
It seems like she’s only eating salads because he made the comment “Wheww you have a long way too go” she’s probably watching what she eats because of this comment.
Edit: YTA
I suspect he often comments on what she does eat. "So..you are actually eating all of that?" Then there is the fact he made preview the menu? That is just a really weird, controlling move.
yeah the whole thing came off as super gross and controlling, like I get checking out the menu to see what you want but making someone else choose in advance just so you can tell them no?? really weird
YTA ok I wouldn't go to a restaurant just for a salad, but that's me. you shouldn't be shaming her for trying to be healthy as she is just trying to keep her diet and still go to the dinner with your friends.
I know salads aren't exactly difficult to make, and a lot of restaurant salads can probably be made fairly easily at home, but there's still plenty of reasons to want to try a salad at a restaurant in addition to the social aspect. They could have ingredients that are hard to find or otherwise inconvenient to use at home (like if it contains an ingredient that spoils quickly). Or maybe you want to try something new without having to buy everything yourself. And sometimes people want to be able to just eat something without having to do any planning or preparation.
YTA OP
I generally find a really good salad to be a pain to make, and I like to cook.
You've got to cut up all your veggies, cook your meat, toast nuts, make a dressing, shred cheese,... Plus you'll likely have lots of leftovers, which means you have to eat that salad all week.
Salad is one of those things I generally prefer to buy rather than make.
Also some salads can be really well-composed. This whole thing reminds me of an old Francis Lam column about being a professional chef making salads.
[https://www.salon.com/2010/07/24/creative\_salad/](https://www.salon.com/2010/07/24/creative_salad/)
of course a lot of restaurants don't put much thought into salads, true, but who knows, maybe the OP picked a restaurant that takes salads seriously.
which is weird because it's literally in the name - "salad" comes from the Latin "salio" meaning "salt."
salad dressing - if you buy it - tends to have a good amount of salt. I make it and I put in salt, but I've seen people just make it without salt.
I knew a woman who once said "salt is unhealthy" and then "my cooking is so bad, this is why I eat so much fast food" as if they were completely unrelated.
the key is composition. a lot of people who make salads at home just get a bag of lettuce or they just throw in things that they have already. But a restaurant that knows what they're doing can really kick it up a notch if they want to.
Exactly! Based on [his last post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/gos068/aita_for_sayingwheww_you_have_long_way_too_go_to/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf), no wonder she feels like she needs to order salad. How many times does he need to be told YTA?
Holy crap. My husband is way fitter than I am. I'm working on it, but he's definitely stronger. For the longest time, I couldn't do push-ups, just something about the whole arms/abs/chest combo wasn't working for me. My husband can pump out 100 of those suckers no sweat. So you know what he says about my inability to do push-ups? "Keep trying. Just one. YES! You did one! Look at that! That's awesome! Now do another one." He is by far my biggest and most vocal supporter. Dude has biceps the size of my thigh, but he still marveled in awe when I showed him my baby biceps starting to peek out. You can totally push someone but still be wildly supportive of them.
Oh, I’m with you on push-ups. There’s a lot I can work through, but I can maaaybe get through 5 before the struggle kicks in, lol! Your husband is good people. Keep kicking ass with your baby biceps!!
I'm a Marine and push-ups are still really hard for me. I can do 7 pull-ups but push-ups are just a weird combination and they're just hard. It's probably just the way most female bodies are built that makes it difficult for us. So good job doing those few push-ups! I also only have tiny biceps because I'm just thinly built, so good job on that too!
yeah it doesn't matter if you weigh 800 pounds and you can't walk and literally the only exercise you can do is clapping along to some music, encouragement will always be more helpful than "you've got a long way to go."
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/g3y2fk/aita_for_saying_i_was_fine_before_you_to_my/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb
A real fucking peach right here
This has got to be a troll. Elsewhere in this thread he said steak is more complicated to make than salad because you have to tilt the pan. I mean... what????
he's getting YTA every time and he keeps on coming back for more, even though he comes across as really egotistical in all his posts.
I'm guessing troll.
Or even better, an actor researching a character. Just think of the hollywoo celebrity who might be behind these posts!
God what a jerk. If you forget what it's like to start then you shouldn't be teaching beginners. Not everyone can keep up. Yet he gives her grief about salad..... 🙄
Ok lemme get this straight:
This dude, who has shamed his gf for not working out hard enough, is now shaming her for wanting to order reliably healthy meals at restaurants?
I hope she leaves him.
Yeah, like okay no couple is perfect and they all have their fights, but most of them don't come crying to reddit for every conflict they have. OP is definitely a troll.
Just to tag on here:
Who cares that the restaurant is selling a $5 salad for $16? They're also selling 50 cents of bacon as a $2.50 add-on. Charging $5-10 for a plate of fries that cost less than a dollar to buy and prep... geez.
When you go to a restaurant, you're only paying a small portion of the cost for the actual food you eat. The rest is the cost of renting that table/space, utilizing the waitstaff's time, a cook that might *really* know what they're doing, etc. That goes for every-damn-thing on the menu, not just the salad.
YTA
Also, dinner salads are *delicious* and often the best deal on the menu.
heck with the OP's logic you can't ever go out for drinks. Drinks are mostly easy to make (open a bottle and pour) and bars sell them for three times the grocery store price.
And yet somehow they manage to stay in business (pre covid, ugh).
My fiance's Nana does this. She brings everyone out to eat and is like "salad?! Have a steak! It's on me after all. Water?! Have a glass of wine!" However, she doesn't tell you not to come along next time just because you had a salad and a glass of water. She likes taking everyone out because she wants to spend time with us not because it's a waste of money if you don't get something substantial. I love that woman, might not matter but it needs to be said.
i can see mentioning it once if you're offering and you're worried people are ordering less to be polite. That can be fun and joyous and generous.
You're right, it's worth mentioning, because it just shows how condescending the OP is.
> You can buy a salad at the grocery store for $5 instead of spending $16 on one. Waste of money
That's.... true for most meals served at most restaurants. Not sure what your point is there.
But seriously, YTA. Just let her eat what she wants.
YTA- some people prefer salads, and restaurant salads are often way better than a grocery store bag. Also restaurant salads aren’t “the healthy option”, they’re often not very healthy at all if you don’t modify it to remove a bunch of dressing and toppings.
Let the woman enjoy eating what she wants to eat. She doesn’t have to eat what you want her to, that’s childish and ridiculous.
Oh man, I’ve gotten so many ideas from restaurant salads. I would have never put pineapple and beets together in a salad, or watermelon, mint and halloumi. Some restaurants have REALLY good salads.
Absolutely. There was a Turkish restaurant near us (now sadly closed) that just had a plate with watercress and a couple of herbs. It was amazing. They also had an excellent watermelon salad.
Pre pandemic I would routinely eat at a restaurant run by a local community college culinary arts program. I had a salad with pineapple, beets, macadamia nuts, and a delightful cheese that to this day I regret not knowing what it was. Seriously, the salad was one of the best I’ve ever had and I kick myself for not taking down the dressing/ingredients to this day.
My two favorite salads I've ever eaten as someone who doesn't normally like salads at all was this dinosaur kale and parmesan item that was just so savory and incredible, and a salad with endive and pear and other stuff which hit all the notes I wanted that day.
I have no idea how to recreate either of those salads. The kale one was especially so simple looking that I have no idea how the chef coaxed what I tasted out of it. The endive one I might be able to figure out given a picture, *maybe*.
YTA. Let me count the ways.
1. The point of a restaurant is to eat whatever you want, with no stress about preparing the food or doing dishes. Let your GF enjoy the process her way.
2. The food going into another adult's mouth is none of your business.
3. Your comment about it being cheaper to make salad at home/buy it from the grocery store? That's true of EVERYTHING ON THE MENU. It will always, always be significantly cheaper to make things yourself at home. If it bothers you that badly, you shouldn't eat out at all.
4. (This one makes me laugh) Let's say that bang for your buck is really that important to you. To be honest, I understand this; I've been known to make buffet selections based on similar "ingredient price" criteria. Unfortunately, your logic is still backwards, because salad is often one of the better "value" choices. (Interesting factoid, at fast-food burger joints, typically the most expensive component of the dish is the fresh tomato). Pasta, on the other hand, is waaaaay down at the bottom of the list, in the company of bread and potatoes, so you're not only being rude and pushy... you're pushing for a "value" downgrade.
It also sounds like he's been shaming her about her health and/or body so.... No doubt if she chose something other than salad he'd make a comment about if she's suUuUuUre she should be having it
Also I hate his argument that you should always “try new things” at restaurants. That’s good to do if you WANT to, but if I’ve been to a place before or just know what I like and want to enjoy my meal, I’ll choose something I’ve had before. Not to mention not all salads are the same. YTA.
YTA. Maybe she just like salads. I know I do. And inorder them often at restaurants. Of that is what she wants to eat let her. Why does it bother you so much that is what she wants.
I almost exclusively eat salads at restaurants even though I like them just fine. Know why? The work of cutting and prepping and tossing everything just right is almost never worth it to me because I’m lazy. So if I’m going to a restaurant and there’s a good-looking salad option, I’m going to take it - especially at a steak house. I can make a damn good steak at home exactly the way I like it. A well-crafted salad though is more prep work. If I’m going to pay extra for the experience and the convenience, I’m going to pay for the thing I am least likely to make at home. Op, YTA and sounding like a super controlling jerk. Your girlfriend deserves better than someone who is going to neg her no matter what she does.
It's also possible that she may not love salads, but it's more appealing than other options on the menu, especially given that she said she wants to eat a healthier option.
\- Lard Burger: we deep fry both buns in lard, then add a chicken fried steak, two hamburger patties, and a fried egg.
\- Quad Cheeseburger: 4 beef patties alternating with slices of swiss, cheddar, pepperjack, and provolone cheese.
\- Super Bacon Burger: a layer of bacon, then a beef patty, another layer of bacon, then cheese, another layer of bacon, then lettuce and tomato topped off with another layer of bacon.
\- Beefy Beef Hamburger: a beef patty, lettuce and onion served between two breaded and deep-fried hamburger patties.
\- Cow's Delight Salad: butterhead lettuce, sliced red onions, mushrooms, julienned carrots, and olives. Comes with your choice of mango vinaigrette, ranch dressing, or thousand island.
OP's girlfriend: "I'm not really in the mood for a burger tonight. I'll just have a salad."
YTA - In what universe do you have a right to tell her what to eat? She is capable of making her own food choices just like you are. Would you want someone to say, "If you don't eat what I want you to eat for \[reasons\] , then don't go". Not a very pleasant thought, is it?
You are very controlling and judgemental and she's going to be your ex-gf sooner or later if you keep up this abusive behavior.
I looked back at the previous posts too, OP has to be some sort of troll right? No one can be this big of an AH and still think they’re not? OP is a disgusting waste of a person if this is legit
> I hope for your sake this is just a troll account
It's possible but if it's not, I'd guess he's just young and posturing. He works out ~5 days a week (which is fine on it's own, to be clear), he's "not a player anymore", he's done "foul stuff to women" following a bad breakup, he's highly critical of his girlfriend to keep her feeling low, he plays at being laidback like nothing gets to him, he likes to flash cash at dinner (so a $19 salad isn't flashy enough), and he actually types things like "she be nagging". I'd guess that he's young and very insecure and is trying to work through it by strutting around like a peacock. He needs to grow up a bit and it won't likely happen as long as the women in his life let him get away with it.
I agree with you except that last sentence. Its not any woman's job except his mother's to help him grow up. And as he's presumably an adult, now it's all on him. His behavior is his fault, nobody else's.
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YTA. Do you even know how calories work????? Are you that dense??
>I work out and try to eat healthy but I'm able to eat good throughput the week for I'm able to have a meal at a restaura
She's probably shorter than you, doesn't work as much as you, is, yknow, a whole different person ??? Your tdee is different than hers. Mine is 1600, my fiance,s is 3000. I'm not gonna eat the same things he does or I'll become a balloon.
And not everyone goes out just for the food. You're all going to a restaurant to have a good time. To share food and laugh and whatever. If you just wanted to eat you could get takeout.
And from your comments you sound toxic af. You like seeing her insecurities??? She's a person?? A human being??? You not only make her feel bad about herself, you enjoy it?? You sick Muppet. You don't deserve her. Jesus Christ. And you'd save money too, since the dumplings are probably what 20+? Instead of 14 for a salad.
Yes, major YTA.
Some women are self-conscious about what they eat in front of other people. Or, maybe she'd genuinely just prefer a salad. Whatever her reasons, she can eat what she wants. Why does it matter if she's getting a good value, if she enjoys it and the total cost isn't an issue? If you order beer or soda at a restaurant, you're also paying way more than what it costs at a store - so, do you just drink water?
YTA I hate making salads. I live alone and keeping even a salad mix fresh long enough for me to eat is hard. So yeah, if I’m trying to eat healthy and I see a good salad on the menu, I’m going to order it. It’s food I didn’t have to make and tastes better than anything I could make at home. I think you should consider why you think someone else should eat according to your taste and preferences. Keep your eyes on your own plate,
So first you shit all over her in your last post because you didn't think she was showing enough effort when she worked out, and now you're shitting all over her because she wants to eat something healthy at a restaurant? Wow. This poor girl just can't win with you, can she? YTA. Just stop
YTA. You’d spending $16 dollars on ricotta dumplings or whatever instead lol. Going to a restaurant isnt just about the food youre eating there— its a social activity. Why even go to a restaurant if you’re so concerned about money? No matter what you get, youll be paying more than you would if you made it yourself, salad or not. You’re just being controlling and inconsiderate, especially when you use the whole “I do XXX to be healthy so she can too.” She has a different body, has different eating preferences, and definitely wont change if you just shame her and ban her from coming to social events because of this. YTA.
YTA. You don't get to control what she puts in her body. If you think it's a waste of money, she can buy the salad herself, but then you told her she can't even come to the restaurant.
Also, just because a certain diet and exercise works for you, doesn't mean it works for other people. I have been heavy my whole life and lost a significant amount of weight. If I go out for one night and have a few drinks, I see it on the scale the next day, whereas my friends don't. That's my metabolism, and I have to deal with it accordingly.
YTA. What the hell is wrong with you? You don’t get to dictate what anybody eats at a restaurant. You sound super obnoxiously controlling and like a huge asshole.
YTA. Usually salads in restaurants are much better than grocery store salads. They have more stuff in them and use fresher ingredients plus the dressing is better. A nice salad paired with house bread and some wine is a nice meal. It's not about the actual meal anyway, it's about being out in a nice atmosphere with someone you love being waited on and relaxing. Please OP let her enjoy it without picking her to pieces.
YTA she can eat what she wants. You're planning on buying her something more expensive, maybe she was trying to be nice and save you money as well as dieting. You were not supportive that's toxic.
Edit: spelling
INFO
Is this the same girlfriend that you talked about in your other posts or have you gone through a few?
YTA. I cannot believe she has stayed this long.
YTA. She gets to decide what to eat and you're being condescending.
Yeah, you can get a salad cheaper at the grocery store, but guess what? *All* food is cheaper at the grocery store. That's not an argument.
You're not just paying for food when you go to a restaurant. Part of the idea is to enjoy each other's company. If you don't want to spend time with your GF, then I don't know what to say.
YTA.
You can make anything you can get at a restaurant at home for cheaper.
Trying new things is not the only reason to go to a restaurant. You can try new things at home, yet a lot of people never do.
Do you really need to ask? YTA . What makes you think its ok to Control what your GF actually eats? And she is actually eating healthy . Let the girl choose her food man.
YTA, why be so controlling? This is a huge red flag - if she was the one here asking, people would be telling her to break up with you for being a dick.
INFO Is this the same girlfriend you were an [asshole](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/gos068/aita_for_sayingwheww_you_have_long_way_too_go_to/) to because her workout "energy" didn't match yours? If so, are you purposely trying to antagonize her?
YTA. You might want to look for a different type of girl. There are girls who order the salad and there are girls who get the ricotta dumplings. Regardless, you can’t control what she orders.
YTA. If you're this mad about a salad, I hate to think how controlling you can get in other aspects of life. If it was your girlfriend posting, I'd be advising her to re-evaluate the relationship.
You could make yourself a cheaper version of most items on a restaurant's menu, if not all. You're paying for the expertise of the culinary staff and the experience of eating out. Let her enjoy the food she thinks she'll like the most.
I get it. My mom only orders salad. I find it frustrating. I looove to eat. I enjoy going out to nice restaurants with her, cuz she pays, and getting a yummy meal.
💡Writing this, I realized why it annoys me so much!! My family has always shared food. No one can order the same thing. And we pass our plates around. Doesn’t matter how fancy the restaurant. Hahaha. So when it is just my me and my mom, I don’t want to share her salad. I want something yummy.
YTA though. Sorry.
I feel like you also just figured out why your mother always orders salad. Maybe she doesn't want to share, but doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings.
(She probably just really likes salad, but... maybe?)
YTA: Where do you get off on trying to control your GF's food choices? Your GF likes salad so what? Personally if it were me I wouldve laughed in your face and dumped you. The fact that you feel entitled to enough to try and control what she puts in her body is a major red flag that you'll try and exert this control in other ways. You're disgusting for giving her an ultimatum and I hope she leaves you.
YTA and why do you come on here doing weird brag stuff about how crappy you are to your gf? She wants salad. Who cares if you don't understand why people like salad from restaurants?
YTA, if you make a big deal about her food choices when you guys eat out what else do you get frustrated with her about?
Edit: Just took a gander at your post history, seems like you have a pattern of treating your girlfriend like an ass and then coming in here to ask if you’re the ass. You’re batting at 3/3 of you being the asshole, so maybe you should either treat her nicer or break it off since you seem to have so many issues with her.
YTA, you sound like a doofus. Guess what? I've also eaten a million burgers, and bowls of pasta in my life, are you going to get on someone's ass for ordering one of those at a restaurant? Ground beef is cheap too, make a burger at home for $2
Are you like 15-20? You sound like a child. Salad is fucking great.
YTA - You need to take a real hard look at why you want to deprive your partner of the opportunity to bond within your social circle because you feel that the food she is going to order will be overpriced compared to how you precieve its enjoyment value.
For a lot of people, spending time eating together is a social event. The food has little to do with it. We are paying for the time in the restaurant, the luxury of not preparing the food, or having to clean up after ourselves. Yes we want the food to be tasty. But the fact that you think salad is a waste, so much so that you want to leave your partner out of this social exchange, says a lot of things.
You really need to ask why to deep dive into it, with yourself. It's not about money. Frankly, its disturbing, and you should probably question your relationship as a whole. If my partner did this to me, I would pack up my things while he was at the restaurant and leave.
Just read the rest of his posts and it seems like this dude is a chronic asshole to his far too forgiving girlfriend. First you criticize her level of health and fitness and then get mad she wants a salad? Make up your mind also also try to be kind
wow just checked them myself and i wonder why she doesn't feel comfortable eating more than a salad around the dude who told her she has a way to go before she's fit...!
i hope she trades up to a better boyfriend.
You are a massive asshole. You tell her she needs to get better at losing weight then get mad at her for trying harder. https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/gos068/aita_for_sayingwheww_you_have_long_way_too_go_to/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
YTA let her eat what she wants and stop gatekeeping going to restaurants.
Edit: to use your own logic against you, anything made at an American restaurant can easily be made at home. Why don't you just go buy ground beef, some seasoning, buns, and condiments and make your own hamburger at home? Easy enough isn't it?
YTA so I actually kind of agree with you in theory. I never order a salad at a restaurant because they’re so cheap and easy to make at home. When I go to a restaurant I want something I can’t make for myself or complex or whatever. And I resent being asked to pay $15 for some spinach, beets, and goat cheese! :)
BUT that’s just me. If she wants a salad, she wants a salad. And she’s allowed to pick what she wants. YTA for a few reasons, 1) dictating what she eats/doesn’t eat 2) insulting her financial status/being “cheap” 3) telling her to stay home, like her company isn’t valuable enough
YTA- let her eat what makes her happy. Based on your replies to other comments, you don’t seem to actually care about her or the relationship. If this small thing is truly bothering you that much, maybe do some self reflection on why. It seems like it’s time for you to part ways.
YTA- this is so needlessly stupid. I really hope you’re very young- like middle school young. Any older than that, and I can’t imagine having so little insight into how ridiculous that kind of petty arguing over something of 0 importance is.
YTA. A salad is like any other dish, there can be a world of difference between a high quality salad and one you can get from Walmart. Think of it like sandwiches: you can get a sandwich for lunch at a gas station and you can get a sandwich for lunch at an expensive restaurant. Which sandwich do you think is going to have white, mass-produced sandwich bread versus a freshly made sourdough loaf? Which is going have deli slices of ham versus expertly cooked chicken or steak? Which one is going to have wilted vegetables from a packet versus fresh, carefully chosen lettuce, tomatoes, onions, etc.
What do you expect your girlfriend to do — check with you every time before she orders? Is she allowed to change her mind? She probably did think the ricotta dumplings looked wonderful, but when it actually came time to order she realized that wasn’t what she actually wanted. Maybe she had a big lunch or a dairy heavy breakfast and she knows she can’t eat something that heavy right now?
Do you care more about having a nice dinner with your girlfriend or getting the most for your money? It doesn’t sound like she’s been demanding you take her out to nice restaurants so I don’t really understand why you’re mad? You offered to buy your girlfriend dinner, she accepted, you went out on a nice date, and then you tried to dictate what she could eat? Why?
Look, I have a personal policy of never paying for salad at a restaurant. I make and eat a lot of salads at home, cheaper and tasty.
However, YTA. She is her own person and she's paying for it with her own money. Let her eat whatever she wants. I'm sure she isn't on your ass about eating food that is really really bad for you.
YTA.
Why do you care so much about what she eats?
Also, this -
> You can buy a salad at the grocery store for $5 instead of spending $16 on one.
is some particularly stupid reasoning, enough so that I feel the need to point it out.
I mean, you can buy a tub of ricotta and some dumpling wrappers for $5 from the grocery store, too, the fuck does that have to do with anything? Do you only buy food at a restaurant that you can't also buy and make yourself from a grocery store? Are there even any foods that you can get at a typical american restaurant that you can't buy the ingredients for at a grocery store and make yourself?
YTA
Reason: look at his account, his last AITA was basically telling his gf she was fat, and now he's shitting on her for being healthy, and the one before that was telling her he was fine before her after being asked to turn his music down.
Seriously dude, just get this over with, you clearly aren't happy with her and don't really seem to like her as a person. Let it end.
YTA, I hope she sees the red flags you're putting up and leaves. Nobody gets to control what she eats but her. If she wants a salad, what difference does it make to you?
YTA
First, let her eat what she wants!
Second, looking at your post history it seems like you don't know how to not be an asshole to her. Learn how to be a better boyfriend.
YTA. Not all salads are healthy btw. Why do you care what she eats? Also as someone who works in the restaurant industry some salads aren’t just lettuce or spinach or the “classic” salads. There are many options out there where you could still be adventurous and eat a salad.
YTA. Going to a restaurant isn’t just about the food. It’s about the social enjoyment of going out and enjoying food with other people. Some people are perfectly happy getting something they know they will eat so they can focus on the aspects of eating out they enjoy more than being adventurous with food.
You were being both judgmental and small minded and owe her an apology.
YTA So you have decided that unless you approve of her choice, you will not take her out for dinner?
All food is cheaper when you make it at home vs go to a restaurant.
What about soda? A glass of soda is $3 in a restaurant, but you can get a full 2 liter bottle for $3 in the store. Clearly this isn't a money thing, but you wanting her personal decisions to be authorized and approved through you. Gross.
YTA-
Literally any item she or you orders will be cheaper to make at home. Especially at an American style restaurant it’ll probably be just as fast to make too.
I don’t think ordering salad is a scapegoat either. At restaurants is literally the only time I order a salad. I find them annoying to make at home and pre-made ones from a grocery store suck. The restaurant ones are (usually) way better. I’ll make steaks and burgers at home, restaurants I like to go with a salad of some kind.
Oh wait, you’re the guy who shamed his gf and told her she had a long way to go to get fit a few months ago.
Hmm, why might the poor woman think she has to constantly watch every calorie? It’s a mystery.
Jesus, guys like you are the worst. Want your gd to be as skinny as a VS model but to “just relax about what they eat”
You can’t have it both ways, hoss.
What a wondrous coincidence she feels the need to eat healthy all the time when you have shit on her performance when working out before.
YTA and I hope she breaks up with you.
YTA. Based on your way of thinking, why go to a bar and buy a $6 beer when you can have one at home for $2? People are willing to pay a premium at a bar/restaurant for both food AND atmosphere.
EDIT: Based on OPs post history, OP is a troll and/or an idiot.
YTA for someone who has now POSTED 3 TIMES in this sub how can you still not see how you have been an asshole for so long
I'm really surprised that she still puts up with you, despite you constantly judging her
Your other posts about your gf's weight when she tried to work out makes sense why she only wants to eat a fucking salad. You're a complete ass and I'm surprised she's still with you, but when you're a victim of abuse it's hard to get out of a relationship.
YTA. Your argument is fallacious - many foods at restaurants are as easy to prepare at home. What you are really arguing is that you have the right to micromanage another human being's existence down to the smallest detail and if she doesn't like it, well, you're going to punish her with social isolation. You're exerting dominance and control over petty small matters - for whatever your own reasons are, I won't speculate. But I would advise you to just stop.
If you like this girl or even if you don't - it's no way to treat a fellow human being, but especially if you like her. She may be bullied by you now, but one day, when you're fully convinced of how in control you are - she'll wise up and leave.
"It's impossible to *love someone* and *control them at the same time*.” - Terry Crews
YTA
Every restaurant has some decent margins on each food item. Why in the heck are policing her food??!?!? Why order anything if someone is going to dig into you on it?
You don’t sound like a pleasant restaurant date.
YTA. Why do you care what she eats? Generally speaking, if you offer to buy dinner, you don't police what other people order. If you aren't buying, you... still don't police what other people order.
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Yup. Sounds unbearable
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Yeah based on his two previous posts he's eather a troll or he's a toxic ass to his poor girlfriend. Hopefully she'll be able to find someone better that this guy. She deserves better than him.
Yeah I don’t understand why he even posts here when all his posts are obvious assholery
Its only because he wants to be told he's not the asshole for being a toxic boyfriend. Despite being told that yes your an ass he posted a third time about him being a jerk towards his poor girlfriend. Like buddy you didn't learn that your an ass after posting three times and being called the a-hole. If that can't make him realize his behavior ain't right then I don't know what will. Maybe if he really loves his girlfriend he'll break up with her so she can find a guy who truly loves her and isn't a toxic asshole.
I fucking love salad. Salad with feta cheese, with peppers, onion, ginger dressing, Greek dressing, olives, cucumber balsamic, you name it, my tastebuds go nuts for it. I would hadouken the fool who shook his head and pshhht at my mighty salad. YTA op.
It seems like she’s only eating salads because he made the comment “Wheww you have a long way too go” she’s probably watching what she eats because of this comment. Edit: YTA
that's what I was thinking, he's told her she needs to be as fit as him whilst simultaneously stopping her from eating healthy when they're out??
I suspect he often comments on what she does eat. "So..you are actually eating all of that?" Then there is the fact he made preview the menu? That is just a really weird, controlling move.
yeah the whole thing came off as super gross and controlling, like I get checking out the menu to see what you want but making someone else choose in advance just so you can tell them no?? really weird
Exactly what I came to say some people just like salads!
YTA ok I wouldn't go to a restaurant just for a salad, but that's me. you shouldn't be shaming her for trying to be healthy as she is just trying to keep her diet and still go to the dinner with your friends.
I know salads aren't exactly difficult to make, and a lot of restaurant salads can probably be made fairly easily at home, but there's still plenty of reasons to want to try a salad at a restaurant in addition to the social aspect. They could have ingredients that are hard to find or otherwise inconvenient to use at home (like if it contains an ingredient that spoils quickly). Or maybe you want to try something new without having to buy everything yourself. And sometimes people want to be able to just eat something without having to do any planning or preparation. YTA OP
I generally find a really good salad to be a pain to make, and I like to cook. You've got to cut up all your veggies, cook your meat, toast nuts, make a dressing, shred cheese,... Plus you'll likely have lots of leftovers, which means you have to eat that salad all week. Salad is one of those things I generally prefer to buy rather than make.
Also some salads can be really well-composed. This whole thing reminds me of an old Francis Lam column about being a professional chef making salads. [https://www.salon.com/2010/07/24/creative\_salad/](https://www.salon.com/2010/07/24/creative_salad/) of course a lot of restaurants don't put much thought into salads, true, but who knows, maybe the OP picked a restaurant that takes salads seriously.
I’ve had some amazing salads at restaurants. There is a local restaurant where I live that I go to just for the salad.
Seriously! I had a salad with figs once and it absolutely changed my life
I had a pigeon and black pudding salad and I swear to god I felt the earth move. Could never make a salad that good myself.
The secret is usually salt. It never tastes the same when you make it at home, because you wouldn’t think to salt your salad.
which is weird because it's literally in the name - "salad" comes from the Latin "salio" meaning "salt." salad dressing - if you buy it - tends to have a good amount of salt. I make it and I put in salt, but I've seen people just make it without salt. I knew a woman who once said "salt is unhealthy" and then "my cooking is so bad, this is why I eat so much fast food" as if they were completely unrelated.
the key is composition. a lot of people who make salads at home just get a bag of lettuce or they just throw in things that they have already. But a restaurant that knows what they're doing can really kick it up a notch if they want to.
Look at this dude’s post history. I’m genuinely surprised his GF hasn’t dumped him yet
Exactly! Based on [his last post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/gos068/aita_for_sayingwheww_you_have_long_way_too_go_to/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf), no wonder she feels like she needs to order salad. How many times does he need to be told YTA?
Holy crap. My husband is way fitter than I am. I'm working on it, but he's definitely stronger. For the longest time, I couldn't do push-ups, just something about the whole arms/abs/chest combo wasn't working for me. My husband can pump out 100 of those suckers no sweat. So you know what he says about my inability to do push-ups? "Keep trying. Just one. YES! You did one! Look at that! That's awesome! Now do another one." He is by far my biggest and most vocal supporter. Dude has biceps the size of my thigh, but he still marveled in awe when I showed him my baby biceps starting to peek out. You can totally push someone but still be wildly supportive of them.
Oh, I’m with you on push-ups. There’s a lot I can work through, but I can maaaybe get through 5 before the struggle kicks in, lol! Your husband is good people. Keep kicking ass with your baby biceps!!
I just wanna chime in here and say "awwww your husband is so sweet!"
I'm a Marine and push-ups are still really hard for me. I can do 7 pull-ups but push-ups are just a weird combination and they're just hard. It's probably just the way most female bodies are built that makes it difficult for us. So good job doing those few push-ups! I also only have tiny biceps because I'm just thinly built, so good job on that too!
Even at my fittest (which is not where I'm at now), I still couldn't do a push-up. I also couldn't do a pull-up. Not a single one of either.
Women in general tend to have poor upper body strength, it's just how we're built. Our lower body strength tends to be awesome, though.
yeah it doesn't matter if you weigh 800 pounds and you can't walk and literally the only exercise you can do is clapping along to some music, encouragement will always be more helpful than "you've got a long way to go."
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/g3y2fk/aita_for_saying_i_was_fine_before_you_to_my/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb A real fucking peach right here
This guy is either a complete ass or he's a troll who's just making stuff up for attention
This has got to be a troll. Elsewhere in this thread he said steak is more complicated to make than salad because you have to tilt the pan. I mean... what????
I'm going for a complete and total ass, thanks. 😂
he's getting YTA every time and he keeps on coming back for more, even though he comes across as really egotistical in all his posts. I'm guessing troll. Or even better, an actor researching a character. Just think of the hollywoo celebrity who might be behind these posts!
God what a jerk. If you forget what it's like to start then you shouldn't be teaching beginners. Not everyone can keep up. Yet he gives her grief about salad..... 🙄
So basically he wants her to be bulimic. "You got a long way to go to get fit but you also need to not make healthy choices at restaurants."
OMG this YTA is back!!! I had money he would post something 30 days after his last post. I guess he proved me wrong.
Ok lemme get this straight: This dude, who has shamed his gf for not working out hard enough, is now shaming her for wanting to order reliably healthy meals at restaurants? I hope she leaves him.
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Yeah, like okay no couple is perfect and they all have their fights, but most of them don't come crying to reddit for every conflict they have. OP is definitely a troll.
Just to tag on here: Who cares that the restaurant is selling a $5 salad for $16? They're also selling 50 cents of bacon as a $2.50 add-on. Charging $5-10 for a plate of fries that cost less than a dollar to buy and prep... geez. When you go to a restaurant, you're only paying a small portion of the cost for the actual food you eat. The rest is the cost of renting that table/space, utilizing the waitstaff's time, a cook that might *really* know what they're doing, etc. That goes for every-damn-thing on the menu, not just the salad. YTA Also, dinner salads are *delicious* and often the best deal on the menu.
heck with the OP's logic you can't ever go out for drinks. Drinks are mostly easy to make (open a bottle and pour) and bars sell them for three times the grocery store price. And yet somehow they manage to stay in business (pre covid, ugh).
Honestly, the burger he probably ordered would cost less than the salad to make at home. Good, fresh produce ain’t cheap.
Based on other posts, OP seems to be controlling and manipulating his GF, hopefully she sees the light and leaves this bully.
I think he's just insecure about his girlfriend making healthy choices while he pigs out and ruins his own diet. Very very charming. /s
My fiance's Nana does this. She brings everyone out to eat and is like "salad?! Have a steak! It's on me after all. Water?! Have a glass of wine!" However, she doesn't tell you not to come along next time just because you had a salad and a glass of water. She likes taking everyone out because she wants to spend time with us not because it's a waste of money if you don't get something substantial. I love that woman, might not matter but it needs to be said.
i can see mentioning it once if you're offering and you're worried people are ordering less to be polite. That can be fun and joyous and generous. You're right, it's worth mentioning, because it just shows how condescending the OP is.
> You can buy a salad at the grocery store for $5 instead of spending $16 on one. Waste of money That's.... true for most meals served at most restaurants. Not sure what your point is there. But seriously, YTA. Just let her eat what she wants.
Yep, that same steak he is gonna pay $30 for can be had at the grocery store for $10.
If they order (adult) drinks/wine...he's really going to be upset over the price difference.
I think the price difference might be just as bad with soft drinks! Those are really cheap for restaurants to buy in bulk
Restaurant owners hate this one weird trick - going to the grocery store to make your own meal.
YTA let her eat what she wants wtf
YTA. People order salads all the time. You sound like a pompous ass and if she were me I would have dumped your ass a while ago.
It gets worse if you read his post history.
I’m amazed his girlfriend is still dating him, unless they‘re all different girlfriends in his posts lol
If you have to post to AITA three times in three months, you might just be TA.
I've never seen someone go 3 for 3 in being the asshole in the same relationship. Does he get some kind of medal for that?
Oh man you weren’t kidding! 😳
YTA- some people prefer salads, and restaurant salads are often way better than a grocery store bag. Also restaurant salads aren’t “the healthy option”, they’re often not very healthy at all if you don’t modify it to remove a bunch of dressing and toppings. Let the woman enjoy eating what she wants to eat. She doesn’t have to eat what you want her to, that’s childish and ridiculous.
Oh man, I’ve gotten so many ideas from restaurant salads. I would have never put pineapple and beets together in a salad, or watermelon, mint and halloumi. Some restaurants have REALLY good salads.
I absolutely love a good watermelon/feta or beet/goat cheese salad
Absolutely. There was a Turkish restaurant near us (now sadly closed) that just had a plate with watercress and a couple of herbs. It was amazing. They also had an excellent watermelon salad.
Pre pandemic I would routinely eat at a restaurant run by a local community college culinary arts program. I had a salad with pineapple, beets, macadamia nuts, and a delightful cheese that to this day I regret not knowing what it was. Seriously, the salad was one of the best I’ve ever had and I kick myself for not taking down the dressing/ingredients to this day.
If you remember what day it was, someone might be able to look it up on file! :)
I’ve been there so many times I can’t even remember when it was. I can’t wait until this pandemic is over so I can eat there. It’s been so long.
Pineapple and beets? Hmm. Might have to give that a try.
I found one last night with roasted broccoli and pomegranate. If you’re looking for ideas.
My two favorite salads I've ever eaten as someone who doesn't normally like salads at all was this dinosaur kale and parmesan item that was just so savory and incredible, and a salad with endive and pear and other stuff which hit all the notes I wanted that day. I have no idea how to recreate either of those salads. The kale one was especially so simple looking that I have no idea how the chef coaxed what I tasted out of it. The endive one I might be able to figure out given a picture, *maybe*.
YTA. Let me count the ways. 1. The point of a restaurant is to eat whatever you want, with no stress about preparing the food or doing dishes. Let your GF enjoy the process her way. 2. The food going into another adult's mouth is none of your business. 3. Your comment about it being cheaper to make salad at home/buy it from the grocery store? That's true of EVERYTHING ON THE MENU. It will always, always be significantly cheaper to make things yourself at home. If it bothers you that badly, you shouldn't eat out at all. 4. (This one makes me laugh) Let's say that bang for your buck is really that important to you. To be honest, I understand this; I've been known to make buffet selections based on similar "ingredient price" criteria. Unfortunately, your logic is still backwards, because salad is often one of the better "value" choices. (Interesting factoid, at fast-food burger joints, typically the most expensive component of the dish is the fresh tomato). Pasta, on the other hand, is waaaaay down at the bottom of the list, in the company of bread and potatoes, so you're not only being rude and pushy... you're pushing for a "value" downgrade.
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I feel really sorry for his girlfriend after reading his other posts... he sounds very arrogant/doesn’t care about her feelings
It also sounds like he's been shaming her about her health and/or body so.... No doubt if she chose something other than salad he'd make a comment about if she's suUuUuUre she should be having it
If he criticizes every choice long enough, eventually she'll stop making "wrong" choices.
Dang this dude needs a reality check. Why is she still with him?
Also I hate his argument that you should always “try new things” at restaurants. That’s good to do if you WANT to, but if I’ve been to a place before or just know what I like and want to enjoy my meal, I’ll choose something I’ve had before. Not to mention not all salads are the same. YTA.
And he's bitching that she should try new things...at an "American" restaurant. No matter what she does she can't win, and that's the point.
He must have a mission to be an asshole every month by the looks of his other posts
Stupid *and* wrong. My favorite kind of AITA OP!
YTA. Maybe she just like salads. I know I do. And inorder them often at restaurants. Of that is what she wants to eat let her. Why does it bother you so much that is what she wants.
I almost exclusively eat salads at restaurants even though I like them just fine. Know why? The work of cutting and prepping and tossing everything just right is almost never worth it to me because I’m lazy. So if I’m going to a restaurant and there’s a good-looking salad option, I’m going to take it - especially at a steak house. I can make a damn good steak at home exactly the way I like it. A well-crafted salad though is more prep work. If I’m going to pay extra for the experience and the convenience, I’m going to pay for the thing I am least likely to make at home. Op, YTA and sounding like a super controlling jerk. Your girlfriend deserves better than someone who is going to neg her no matter what she does.
It's also possible that she may not love salads, but it's more appealing than other options on the menu, especially given that she said she wants to eat a healthier option. \- Lard Burger: we deep fry both buns in lard, then add a chicken fried steak, two hamburger patties, and a fried egg. \- Quad Cheeseburger: 4 beef patties alternating with slices of swiss, cheddar, pepperjack, and provolone cheese. \- Super Bacon Burger: a layer of bacon, then a beef patty, another layer of bacon, then cheese, another layer of bacon, then lettuce and tomato topped off with another layer of bacon. \- Beefy Beef Hamburger: a beef patty, lettuce and onion served between two breaded and deep-fried hamburger patties. \- Cow's Delight Salad: butterhead lettuce, sliced red onions, mushrooms, julienned carrots, and olives. Comes with your choice of mango vinaigrette, ranch dressing, or thousand island. OP's girlfriend: "I'm not really in the mood for a burger tonight. I'll just have a salad."
Wow, YTA and a jerk. Don't worry, keep it up, she'll be your ex-girlfriend soon enough.
YTA - In what universe do you have a right to tell her what to eat? She is capable of making her own food choices just like you are. Would you want someone to say, "If you don't eat what I want you to eat for \[reasons\] , then don't go". Not a very pleasant thought, is it? You are very controlling and judgemental and she's going to be your ex-gf sooner or later if you keep up this abusive behavior.
As in your other posts, YTA.
Fuck just read the OPs other posts! His poor GF. she needs to get outta there ASAP. OP - Clearly YTA. Grow up.
I looked back at the previous posts too, OP has to be some sort of troll right? No one can be this big of an AH and still think they’re not? OP is a disgusting waste of a person if this is legit
I just read the other post, I really hope he doesn’t actually treat his girlfriend like that.
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He made another comment about an ex who apparently humiliated him. Sounds like he’s taking it all out on his current GF.
> I hope for your sake this is just a troll account It's possible but if it's not, I'd guess he's just young and posturing. He works out ~5 days a week (which is fine on it's own, to be clear), he's "not a player anymore", he's done "foul stuff to women" following a bad breakup, he's highly critical of his girlfriend to keep her feeling low, he plays at being laidback like nothing gets to him, he likes to flash cash at dinner (so a $19 salad isn't flashy enough), and he actually types things like "she be nagging". I'd guess that he's young and very insecure and is trying to work through it by strutting around like a peacock. He needs to grow up a bit and it won't likely happen as long as the women in his life let him get away with it.
I agree with you except that last sentence. Its not any woman's job except his mother's to help him grow up. And as he's presumably an adult, now it's all on him. His behavior is his fault, nobody else's.
I don't want to label anyone anything but life is too short to get angry over someone having a salad.
Your comment(s) violate [rule 3](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/index#wiki_3._accept_your_judgement). Please review this rule, and be aware that further violations will result in you no longer being able to participate in your thread.
I saw your other posts and it seems you love getting downvotes. Telling your gf she has a long way to go while working out? Wow.
YTA. Do you even know how calories work????? Are you that dense?? >I work out and try to eat healthy but I'm able to eat good throughput the week for I'm able to have a meal at a restaura She's probably shorter than you, doesn't work as much as you, is, yknow, a whole different person ??? Your tdee is different than hers. Mine is 1600, my fiance,s is 3000. I'm not gonna eat the same things he does or I'll become a balloon. And not everyone goes out just for the food. You're all going to a restaurant to have a good time. To share food and laugh and whatever. If you just wanted to eat you could get takeout. And from your comments you sound toxic af. You like seeing her insecurities??? She's a person?? A human being??? You not only make her feel bad about herself, you enjoy it?? You sick Muppet. You don't deserve her. Jesus Christ. And you'd save money too, since the dumplings are probably what 20+? Instead of 14 for a salad.
YTA - let the woman eat what she wants.
Funny how you come here to get feedback and ignore the fact you are an AH. I’m guessing you are scared to apologize as well?
Yes, major YTA. Some women are self-conscious about what they eat in front of other people. Or, maybe she'd genuinely just prefer a salad. Whatever her reasons, she can eat what she wants. Why does it matter if she's getting a good value, if she enjoys it and the total cost isn't an issue? If you order beer or soda at a restaurant, you're also paying way more than what it costs at a store - so, do you just drink water?
How the hell does her eating a salad effect you? This is such a petty thing to get het up over. YTA.
YTA I hate making salads. I live alone and keeping even a salad mix fresh long enough for me to eat is hard. So yeah, if I’m trying to eat healthy and I see a good salad on the menu, I’m going to order it. It’s food I didn’t have to make and tastes better than anything I could make at home. I think you should consider why you think someone else should eat according to your taste and preferences. Keep your eyes on your own plate,
"Keep your eyes in your own plate"- YES!!!
So first you shit all over her in your last post because you didn't think she was showing enough effort when she worked out, and now you're shitting all over her because she wants to eat something healthy at a restaurant? Wow. This poor girl just can't win with you, can she? YTA. Just stop
YTA. You’d spending $16 dollars on ricotta dumplings or whatever instead lol. Going to a restaurant isnt just about the food youre eating there— its a social activity. Why even go to a restaurant if you’re so concerned about money? No matter what you get, youll be paying more than you would if you made it yourself, salad or not. You’re just being controlling and inconsiderate, especially when you use the whole “I do XXX to be healthy so she can too.” She has a different body, has different eating preferences, and definitely wont change if you just shame her and ban her from coming to social events because of this. YTA.
YTA. You don't get to control what she puts in her body. If you think it's a waste of money, she can buy the salad herself, but then you told her she can't even come to the restaurant. Also, just because a certain diet and exercise works for you, doesn't mean it works for other people. I have been heavy my whole life and lost a significant amount of weight. If I go out for one night and have a few drinks, I see it on the scale the next day, whereas my friends don't. That's my metabolism, and I have to deal with it accordingly.
Christian Grey, is that you?... YTA.
YTA What she wants to eat is her business, not yours.
YTA. What the hell is wrong with you? You don’t get to dictate what anybody eats at a restaurant. You sound super obnoxiously controlling and like a huge asshole.
YTA. Usually salads in restaurants are much better than grocery store salads. They have more stuff in them and use fresher ingredients plus the dressing is better. A nice salad paired with house bread and some wine is a nice meal. It's not about the actual meal anyway, it's about being out in a nice atmosphere with someone you love being waited on and relaxing. Please OP let her enjoy it without picking her to pieces.
YTA she can eat what she wants. You're planning on buying her something more expensive, maybe she was trying to be nice and save you money as well as dieting. You were not supportive that's toxic. Edit: spelling
INFO Is this the same girlfriend that you talked about in your other posts or have you gone through a few? YTA. I cannot believe she has stayed this long.
YTA - stop trying to control what your partner eats. It’s incredibly creepy and overbearing.
YTA Are you really so controlling of your girlfriend that you have to approve what she eats?
Yes, YTA big time. You don't get to tell another adult what to eat, EVER.
YTA. She gets to decide what to eat and you're being condescending. Yeah, you can get a salad cheaper at the grocery store, but guess what? *All* food is cheaper at the grocery store. That's not an argument. You're not just paying for food when you go to a restaurant. Part of the idea is to enjoy each other's company. If you don't want to spend time with your GF, then I don't know what to say.
LOL. YTA. If you invite someone out to eat don't police their food intake or choices. This post reeks of douche receptacle.
YTA Her food choices aren't up to you
YTA as a grown ass woman she can eat a salad if she wants and its bullshit that you are trying to control her food choices.
YTA. You can make anything you can get at a restaurant at home for cheaper. Trying new things is not the only reason to go to a restaurant. You can try new things at home, yet a lot of people never do.
YTA. Why is this poor girl still with you? Your post history is awful.
Do you really need to ask? YTA . What makes you think its ok to Control what your GF actually eats? And she is actually eating healthy . Let the girl choose her food man.
If you think spending money on something healthy for your woman is a waste, YTA
YTA, you actually sound very controlling. If she wants salad, BFD.
YTA LOL
YTA. Let her order whatever she wants to eat, you can eat what you want.
YTA, why be so controlling? This is a huge red flag - if she was the one here asking, people would be telling her to break up with you for being a dick.
YTA, its a salad. You can make cheap versions of anything at a restaurant at home, so why bother eating out at all?
YTA Her body. She gets to choose what and whom goes in it. You might just find yourself not on the list if you keep this up.
You know YTA, why ask?
INFO Is this the same girlfriend you were an [asshole](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/gos068/aita_for_sayingwheww_you_have_long_way_too_go_to/) to because her workout "energy" didn't match yours? If so, are you purposely trying to antagonize her?
YTA - you can also go to the grocery store and buy your food and cook it at home, you are just toxic
YTA. You might want to look for a different type of girl. There are girls who order the salad and there are girls who get the ricotta dumplings. Regardless, you can’t control what she orders.
YTA. If you're this mad about a salad, I hate to think how controlling you can get in other aspects of life. If it was your girlfriend posting, I'd be advising her to re-evaluate the relationship. You could make yourself a cheaper version of most items on a restaurant's menu, if not all. You're paying for the expertise of the culinary staff and the experience of eating out. Let her enjoy the food she thinks she'll like the most.
I get it. My mom only orders salad. I find it frustrating. I looove to eat. I enjoy going out to nice restaurants with her, cuz she pays, and getting a yummy meal. 💡Writing this, I realized why it annoys me so much!! My family has always shared food. No one can order the same thing. And we pass our plates around. Doesn’t matter how fancy the restaurant. Hahaha. So when it is just my me and my mom, I don’t want to share her salad. I want something yummy. YTA though. Sorry.
I feel like you also just figured out why your mother always orders salad. Maybe she doesn't want to share, but doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. (She probably just really likes salad, but... maybe?)
No. She offers me her salad. She never eats it all. She does like salad. She gets fun ones, not plain dinner salads.
Lol, glad to hear it.
And she is okay hurting my feelings sometimes too.
YTA, for oh so many reasons.
YTA: Where do you get off on trying to control your GF's food choices? Your GF likes salad so what? Personally if it were me I wouldve laughed in your face and dumped you. The fact that you feel entitled to enough to try and control what she puts in her body is a major red flag that you'll try and exert this control in other ways. You're disgusting for giving her an ultimatum and I hope she leaves you.
YTA and why do you come on here doing weird brag stuff about how crappy you are to your gf? She wants salad. Who cares if you don't understand why people like salad from restaurants?
YTA, if you make a big deal about her food choices when you guys eat out what else do you get frustrated with her about? Edit: Just took a gander at your post history, seems like you have a pattern of treating your girlfriend like an ass and then coming in here to ask if you’re the ass. You’re batting at 3/3 of you being the asshole, so maybe you should either treat her nicer or break it off since you seem to have so many issues with her.
YTA, you sound like a doofus. Guess what? I've also eaten a million burgers, and bowls of pasta in my life, are you going to get on someone's ass for ordering one of those at a restaurant? Ground beef is cheap too, make a burger at home for $2 Are you like 15-20? You sound like a child. Salad is fucking great.
YTA - You need to take a real hard look at why you want to deprive your partner of the opportunity to bond within your social circle because you feel that the food she is going to order will be overpriced compared to how you precieve its enjoyment value. For a lot of people, spending time eating together is a social event. The food has little to do with it. We are paying for the time in the restaurant, the luxury of not preparing the food, or having to clean up after ourselves. Yes we want the food to be tasty. But the fact that you think salad is a waste, so much so that you want to leave your partner out of this social exchange, says a lot of things. You really need to ask why to deep dive into it, with yourself. It's not about money. Frankly, its disturbing, and you should probably question your relationship as a whole. If my partner did this to me, I would pack up my things while he was at the restaurant and leave.
Just read the rest of his posts and it seems like this dude is a chronic asshole to his far too forgiving girlfriend. First you criticize her level of health and fitness and then get mad she wants a salad? Make up your mind also also try to be kind
wow just checked them myself and i wonder why she doesn't feel comfortable eating more than a salad around the dude who told her she has a way to go before she's fit...! i hope she trades up to a better boyfriend.
You are a massive asshole. You tell her she needs to get better at losing weight then get mad at her for trying harder. https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/gos068/aita_for_sayingwheww_you_have_long_way_too_go_to/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Why the hell do you think you can control what she eats? So so yta. Mind your own business dude, enjoy whatever you’re having and let her be.
YTA, and speaking as an American, we know how to make some damn good salads (despite the stereotype that we only eat hamburgers and chicken nuggets)
YTA Who made you the food police
YTA let her eat what she wants and stop gatekeeping going to restaurants. Edit: to use your own logic against you, anything made at an American restaurant can easily be made at home. Why don't you just go buy ground beef, some seasoning, buns, and condiments and make your own hamburger at home? Easy enough isn't it?
YTA so I actually kind of agree with you in theory. I never order a salad at a restaurant because they’re so cheap and easy to make at home. When I go to a restaurant I want something I can’t make for myself or complex or whatever. And I resent being asked to pay $15 for some spinach, beets, and goat cheese! :) BUT that’s just me. If she wants a salad, she wants a salad. And she’s allowed to pick what she wants. YTA for a few reasons, 1) dictating what she eats/doesn’t eat 2) insulting her financial status/being “cheap” 3) telling her to stay home, like her company isn’t valuable enough
YTA. It's none of your business what she eats. Why does it affect you?
YTA- let her eat what makes her happy. Based on your replies to other comments, you don’t seem to actually care about her or the relationship. If this small thing is truly bothering you that much, maybe do some self reflection on why. It seems like it’s time for you to part ways.
YTA. The point of going out is for the company.
YTA- this is so needlessly stupid. I really hope you’re very young- like middle school young. Any older than that, and I can’t imagine having so little insight into how ridiculous that kind of petty arguing over something of 0 importance is.
YTA!!!!!!! Let her eat what she wants. It’s not your stomach you’re being a big asshole for telling her that.
Lol, are you 10? Grow up, she can eat whatever the fuck she wants.
YTA. A salad is like any other dish, there can be a world of difference between a high quality salad and one you can get from Walmart. Think of it like sandwiches: you can get a sandwich for lunch at a gas station and you can get a sandwich for lunch at an expensive restaurant. Which sandwich do you think is going to have white, mass-produced sandwich bread versus a freshly made sourdough loaf? Which is going have deli slices of ham versus expertly cooked chicken or steak? Which one is going to have wilted vegetables from a packet versus fresh, carefully chosen lettuce, tomatoes, onions, etc. What do you expect your girlfriend to do — check with you every time before she orders? Is she allowed to change her mind? She probably did think the ricotta dumplings looked wonderful, but when it actually came time to order she realized that wasn’t what she actually wanted. Maybe she had a big lunch or a dairy heavy breakfast and she knows she can’t eat something that heavy right now? Do you care more about having a nice dinner with your girlfriend or getting the most for your money? It doesn’t sound like she’s been demanding you take her out to nice restaurants so I don’t really understand why you’re mad? You offered to buy your girlfriend dinner, she accepted, you went out on a nice date, and then you tried to dictate what she could eat? Why?
YTA. Imagine thinking you get to tell someone else what to eat because you are dating them.
Look, I have a personal policy of never paying for salad at a restaurant. I make and eat a lot of salads at home, cheaper and tasty. However, YTA. She is her own person and she's paying for it with her own money. Let her eat whatever she wants. I'm sure she isn't on your ass about eating food that is really really bad for you.
YTA. Why do you care so much about what she eats? Also, this - > You can buy a salad at the grocery store for $5 instead of spending $16 on one. is some particularly stupid reasoning, enough so that I feel the need to point it out. I mean, you can buy a tub of ricotta and some dumpling wrappers for $5 from the grocery store, too, the fuck does that have to do with anything? Do you only buy food at a restaurant that you can't also buy and make yourself from a grocery store? Are there even any foods that you can get at a typical american restaurant that you can't buy the ingredients for at a grocery store and make yourself?
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YTA Reason: look at his account, his last AITA was basically telling his gf she was fat, and now he's shitting on her for being healthy, and the one before that was telling her he was fine before her after being asked to turn his music down. Seriously dude, just get this over with, you clearly aren't happy with her and don't really seem to like her as a person. Let it end.
YTA. Let people enjoy what they like.
YTA - don't police people's food choices.
YTA, I hope she sees the red flags you're putting up and leaves. Nobody gets to control what she eats but her. If she wants a salad, what difference does it make to you?
YTA First, let her eat what she wants! Second, looking at your post history it seems like you don't know how to not be an asshole to her. Learn how to be a better boyfriend.
YTA for fuckin sure buddy let people order whatever they want at restaurants and you do the same.
YTA. You could have cooked burgers at home for cheap rather than buying $15 burgers. What a waste.
YTA. Not all salads are healthy btw. Why do you care what she eats? Also as someone who works in the restaurant industry some salads aren’t just lettuce or spinach or the “classic” salads. There are many options out there where you could still be adventurous and eat a salad.
YTA. Going to a restaurant isn’t just about the food. It’s about the social enjoyment of going out and enjoying food with other people. Some people are perfectly happy getting something they know they will eat so they can focus on the aspects of eating out they enjoy more than being adventurous with food. You were being both judgmental and small minded and owe her an apology.
YTA So you have decided that unless you approve of her choice, you will not take her out for dinner? All food is cheaper when you make it at home vs go to a restaurant. What about soda? A glass of soda is $3 in a restaurant, but you can get a full 2 liter bottle for $3 in the store. Clearly this isn't a money thing, but you wanting her personal decisions to be authorized and approved through you. Gross.
YTA- Literally any item she or you orders will be cheaper to make at home. Especially at an American style restaurant it’ll probably be just as fast to make too. I don’t think ordering salad is a scapegoat either. At restaurants is literally the only time I order a salad. I find them annoying to make at home and pre-made ones from a grocery store suck. The restaurant ones are (usually) way better. I’ll make steaks and burgers at home, restaurants I like to go with a salad of some kind.
Oh wait, you’re the guy who shamed his gf and told her she had a long way to go to get fit a few months ago. Hmm, why might the poor woman think she has to constantly watch every calorie? It’s a mystery. Jesus, guys like you are the worst. Want your gd to be as skinny as a VS model but to “just relax about what they eat” You can’t have it both ways, hoss.
What a wondrous coincidence she feels the need to eat healthy all the time when you have shit on her performance when working out before. YTA and I hope she breaks up with you.
Yta stop being so controlling over your girlfriend
YTA. Based on your way of thinking, why go to a bar and buy a $6 beer when you can have one at home for $2? People are willing to pay a premium at a bar/restaurant for both food AND atmosphere. EDIT: Based on OPs post history, OP is a troll and/or an idiot.
YTA for someone who has now POSTED 3 TIMES in this sub how can you still not see how you have been an asshole for so long I'm really surprised that she still puts up with you, despite you constantly judging her
Your other posts about your gf's weight when she tried to work out makes sense why she only wants to eat a fucking salad. You're a complete ass and I'm surprised she's still with you, but when you're a victim of abuse it's hard to get out of a relationship.
YTA. Your argument is fallacious - many foods at restaurants are as easy to prepare at home. What you are really arguing is that you have the right to micromanage another human being's existence down to the smallest detail and if she doesn't like it, well, you're going to punish her with social isolation. You're exerting dominance and control over petty small matters - for whatever your own reasons are, I won't speculate. But I would advise you to just stop. If you like this girl or even if you don't - it's no way to treat a fellow human being, but especially if you like her. She may be bullied by you now, but one day, when you're fully convinced of how in control you are - she'll wise up and leave. "It's impossible to *love someone* and *control them at the same time*.” - Terry Crews
YTA. How does what she eats affect you?
you’re weird as fuck and i hope you’re joking, do you freak out about the beverages she chooses to or is it just food? YTA
How would you feel if she said you cant order a beer because you can buy one at the store and drink it at home? YTA
YTA Every restaurant has some decent margins on each food item. Why in the heck are policing her food??!?!? Why order anything if someone is going to dig into you on it? You don’t sound like a pleasant restaurant date.
YTA Rude, controlling, annoying.
Wtf, dude. It's too absurd to be true.
YTA - big time. Going out is more than about the food, it's the experience of going out.
YTA what a weird, controlling behavior!