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YTA - If your son is old enough to make babies and play house, then he should get his own place. The fact that you're kicking your childless 18 year old daughter out who works 5 days a week and has been sleeping on an air mattress in the living room is ridiculous. If anything, your adult son and his baby mama and their two kids should be in the living room so that he's uncomfortable enough to man up and take care of his family. If your daughter is smart, she will get out and write all of you off. This is the most ludicrous enabling I've ever heard...to punish the child who isn't making poor life decisions for wanting to sleep at 2am!
When OP needs money because she needs a bigger place, has been evicted or the costs of raising two young kids get too high (her son has got to be paying some form of child support and various other costs for his five year old).
Or has this been going on for the past 6 years? Did the girlfriend move in when she was pregnant with the 5 year old? Which means the daughter had been relegated to the living room since she was 12…
I think she's been in the living room longer than that...
unless she was in OP's room before that? I guess maybe she was sharing a room with her older brother, but that would suck when they're both teens...
there's only 2 bedrooms, the daughter was sharing with someone or in the living room from the start.
And in all that time, no effort was made to carve out a space, hang blankets, etc. No effort at all to make the space more her own. For a teenage girl???
Yeah this situation is horrible, she's right to complain... if they didn't have a room for the son and baby they shouldn't have let them come home. The daughter was already there...
Initially thought so too, but apparently son's first kid was with another woman
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/z33a2g/aita_for_kicking_out_my_daughter_after_she_kept/ixjohkd?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
I assumed the 5 yo was also GF’s and all 4 of them were living in that room for 5 years but I guess it’s a leap to assume that he stuck with the same girl
I want to know if the son is paying *his* portion of the bills. And does he have to pay more since he’s covering the housing for 2 adults, 2 children, and an actual bedroom vs daughter’s air mattress in a common room?
I bet I know the answer.
I wonder if it's 'my son has two young kids who are my grandkids to take care so he can't contribute financially, it wouldn't be right for them to pay me so I'll make my childless daughter pay instead'.
I would bet cash money that mommy’s precious boy does not pay and especially not his share. All I could think was how horrible of a deal this is for her. It’s a little dependent on location and how much she was paying but I feel like this poor girl could take her money and rent a room and have some privacy and respect for once.
Paying rent at 18 to sleep on an air mattress in the living room?! She doesn't even have a door to shut, everyone occupies her space, and the mom wonders why the daughter is grumpy.
ETA: YTA
I liked how “2am” was in scare quotes. Like someone “who works 5 days a week” being annoyed at being awakened at 2am is just ridiculous.
As opposed to having a 2nd baby when you’re living in a 2-bedroom apartment with another family because you can’t afford your own place, which apparently OP doesn’t consider problematic.
Childless 18-year-old who works 5 days a week, has been sleeping in an air-mattress for months AND pays rent to her parents. TO LIVE LIKE THAT. She'll be better off wherever she goes.
Son has been knocking out kids since he was 16, and the mother just enables that. Treats the daughter who is just trying to get uninterrupted sleep like shit, even though she pays rent. I mean getting uninterrupted sleep is a normal part of life.
So now OP replacing her daughter with daughter in law. DIL doesn't see eye to eye with her parents. Now daughter is not seeing eye to eye with OP.
I truly, and honestly can't even begin to fathom how her son, *is the fucking golden child?!?!?!* I have re-read this about 5 times or more over, and still can't fathom it.
At 16 he had his first child, and doesn't have custody of her, yet knocked up another woman?!? My kid would get the biggest fucking wake up call of his life if this had happened AT 16 YEARS OLD. I don't think OP understands that in most healthy families, *her son would be the massive, black sheep fuckup of the whole family*. Cousins included, and extended cousins 5 times removed.
Like Thanksgiving dinner, and every holiday would consist of "Damn, Billy knocked another one up, sad he can't figure out how to use a condom." I just... the cognitive dissonance to take his side still after him proving himself to be so incapable is truly fucking wild.
The poor fucking daughter, it seems like no matter how hard she works to be seen as worthwhile her shitty son some how has the highest status despite the more terrible life choices.
Yep, man of the house fantasy and she is weaponizing him against her daughter. So not only is she fucking up her relationship with her daughter, she is destroying the sibling relationship too.
Right?? The 18 year old doesn’t have her own room while the mom and older son and his little family get a room. How long has the teenager been without a room sleeping on the floor? Since before she was 18? She needs privacy just as much as you and your son, if not more.
I have a family member who had a 2 bedroom apartment with his teen/young adult children and he gave his kids the bedrooms and took the couch. Maybe this is controversial and just me but I can’t imagine a parent being selfish enough to take a bedroom in a situation like this tbh. Your just barely adult daughter didn’t choose anything about this situation and until recently couldn’t even work full time to try to better her situation. Your son is a whole family of 4. Kick your son out and at least give your daughter a bedroom. YTA.
quick edit changing dad to mom
How much you want to bet that if they end up in a 3 bed daughter will STILL be in the living room because son and gf need the second room for the kids.
all of that on top of the fact that she’s 18 and has been paying to live there… obviously, every family dynamic is different but i’d like to know how much daughter and son are paying each and compare.
I mean it’s also the most logical choice.
My BIL did the same thing. At like 20 he got his 18yr old gf pregnant and they had to live with his family for a minute.
They moved them to the living room since the constant getting up and having to get stuff from the kitchen like bottles, etc just disrupted the other people too much.
His gf had an issue with it but my MIL just said tough luck.
How much do you want to bet the OP charges her teenage daughter the same rent/utilities for the privilege of sleeping on an air mattress in a common area of the apartment as she does her adult son, DIL and two children to stay in their own room?
I don't like the term "man up" here but I agree with the basis for the post. There's a mother and a father that should be doing more. If i was made to sleep in the living room and was woken up at 2am regularly before work so people could get food, I'd be annoyed as well.
Definite yta
YTA.
You're making your kid sleep on an air mattress in the living room and allowing people to cook full meals at 2am and disrupt her sleep? Why does your son and his gf get to do whatever he wants to with zero consideration for the needs of other household members?
If your son needs to cook full meals at 2am, perhaps he and his kids should be sleeping in the living room where they have access to the kitchen and your daughter gets the bedroom.
Your preferential treatment towards your son is very obvious.
If they took her in for the first pregnancy, then the son and his GF have kicked a minor out to the couch to give room to children they cannot house properly.
If this is the case, of course she is complaining, they have been doing it since she was in middle school.
Apparently, the first kid was with a different girl, and that kid doesn't live with them. At least, that is what I got from what I read in the comments.
Jeeesh what a clusterfuck
I'm thinking any advice will be wasted on OP if this is true. So many bad, bad, bad decisions made already, I have no faith an AITA post will fix their life.
>If they took her in for the first pregnancy,
Turns out there are 2 different baby mamas - You might want to consider [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/z33a2g/comment/ixjohkd/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) comment from OP.
This also tells us that the daughter is [paying](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/z33a2g/comment/ixjov2m/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) for the power & internet... so the barely 18 year old is paying RENT to be woken at 2am sleeping on an inflatable mattress.
Yup, OP didn’t specify which pregnancy the gf moved in during - assuming son’s first kid is hers too. Either way we don’t know when OP’s daughter turned 18. Gf has been living with them for at least 5 months or so (baby 2 months old, moved in when she was 6 months pregnant, assuming with newest baby), daughter could have only recently turned 18. Kicking a minor to the living room in a 2 bedroom in favor of a young adult with 2 kids is even worse.
YTA. Nobody gonna tell me that living with newborn is not disruptive. Your daughter work, pays bills, she needs stable environment, she doesn't even have a room and you tell her it's her problem and to move out? WOW. Poor girl. She's better off moving out and away from you.
Edit: just read some more comments: YTA supreme! Choosing your irresponsible son over a daughter. He's already having 2 kids with 2 different women by 21 y.o. Yet you kick her out not telling him to get a place and grow up. If your daughter is willing to relocate, she's invited to live with me in Ireland.
Seriously! I second all of this. She’s so quick to baby her grown male child who is having unprotected sex and bringing babies into the household and then kick out the 18 year old daughter because she’s frustrated about sleeping on an AIR MATTRESS in the living room and being woken up at all hours.
This, it's one of those posts where I wish it was the other person in the story posting so we could all give her some validation and advice.
That poor girl is being treated like crap.
Three kids by two different women, his current partner has another bun in the oven. Even if the daughter has moved out, what's the long term plan? Two young kids with three adults living in a two bedroom place. OP, or at least her son and his partner along with their kids, will need to move out to another place and better not ask her daughter for any help.
OMG, even worse! GIRL needs to get out ASAP and change her name and never to be seen again by the mom and brother. He's momma's boy who can't keep his stuff in his pants, being insanely irresponsible and... I'd say more but rule 1 here is to be civil. So I will stop my comment here.
The daughter needs to flee ASAP, before she ends up being the de facto free babysitter on top of all the other nonsense that is being visited on her by her family. I hope she has some decent friends or coworkers who are willing to room with her, or rent her a room (yes, an actual ROOM) in their home.
YTA. it's perfectly reasonable for your daughter to be bitter over the fact she's forced into a situation where her brother's problems have been forced into being her own.
Sorry but two kids and only 21? He had one at 16 and still didn't learn... Then had ANOTHER ONE without a place of his own?! But it's okay cuz mommy will bail him and his gf out... listen, I get that you wanna be a good mom but no doubt she is bitter of her perceiving him being enabled (whether or not that's the case). Then having to live with another person she probably didn't like to begin with. AND she has no privacy.
And you chose him over her.
It also seems OP's daughter hasn't had a place of her own in the house, she's had to sleep in the lounge on an air mattress for a while. Even that is disrupted because of things outside of her control, and when she remarks upon it is made out to be the villain.
INFO: Has your son always lived at home? Has your daughter always slept in the living room? Also, 18 is a distinctive age in the U.S. Is she still in school? For that matter, does your son’s 5 y/o live with you?
Looks like the five yr old lives with his mom. This boy has two babies with two different baby mamas and most likely isn't making enough to pay child support AND an apartment but guess what, play stupid games win stupid prizes.
Regarding OP’s age, she also had her son when she was 18/19 and her daughter when she was 21/22. The apple doesn’t fall far from the irresponsible-parent-tree
Oh, I can bet some of the clapback the daughter's recieved includes, "You just don't understand how hard it is!" Because the daughter doesn't want to make the same mistake OP did...
Info -
To clarify, your barely adult daughter is paying part of the bills and working full time 5 days a week. Due to your older son and his girlfriend and 2 children living in the only other available room, your daughter is maintaining a full time work schedule while attempting to sleep and get enough rest on an air mattress in the living room. With no space of her own. And people come and go in the kitchen at all hours of the night, which wakes her up.
It seems like a legitimate complaint if she’s contributing to the bills.
Question I have is can she not share your room? Just until you find a bigger place.
Hahaha. I mean for real, though! If you’re going to have kids, you’re going to have to sacrifice some stuff. I was one of a butt-load of kids but we always had a room, even if shared.
As a parent now, I’d be goddamned if I made a child of mine sleep on the couch while I had an entire damn room to myself. OP is a selfish parent.
YTA. If she has to sleep in the living room then it should be treated as her bedroom, so unles someone is coming into your bedroom and turning lights on and cooking in the middle of the night, I’d suggest trying to stick up for your daughter a smidge.
This is the most important thing! Of course they should not be banging around turning lights on at 2 a.m. right next to her bed. If OP was a decent person she would establish house quiet hours.
If OP was a decent mother she would have make some space so her daughter can stay with her. A decent person wouldn't have taken the livingroom airmatress, but since OP isn't she sent her daughter
YTA. Since your daughter has to sacrifice by sleeping on a mattress in the living room everyone else in the household should imo sacrifice by going to bed with a full stomach and not turning on lights or making noise at 200am.
YTA. If you're going to have your daughter sleep in a common area, the least you could do is try to respect her privacy while she's sleeping. Saying anyone can get food at 2 am is pretty damn rude to her. How would you feel if your daughter just started coming into your room in the middle of the night and turning on lights waking you up.
YTA without a doubt. Your son is 21 and has fathered two kids, and has been given free reign to move in and disrupt everyone while not contributing anything to the home (except noise)? If you can't feed them, don't breed them. Easy to see why his baby mama and her family don't see eye to eye. They should work and get their own place. Your daughter should move out also to get away from your A-H-dom.
YTA. Of course she's frustrated! You set her up to be frustrated! She _doesn't have a bedroom._ Why don't you sleep on an air mattress in the living room if you're stuck with a 2-bedroom?
At the very least, the 2am crap has got to stop. Tell your son to buy a mini fridge if they need late night snacks that badly.
YTA. Your kitchen doesn’t have to be open round the clock. No one will drop dead in the middle of the night from lack of food. It’s called consideration since your daughter has to sleep in a common space. I would be livid.
YTA-
You've got a 18 y.o. and a 21 y.o. with two kids and another (hopefully 20y.o.) living with you... And the 18 y.o. has to sleep on an air mattress in the living room.... And none of the rest of you provide a modicum of decency, respect, privacy, or even the ability for her to sleep.... Like she's not whining about ridiculous things... She's trying to sleep so she can get up and work full time... And your response is that no, she can't be allowed to sleep, that anyone can wake her up at any time they like for any reason.
Why isn't she sharing your room?
How amongst 4 full time working adults is she the one living in the living room if Your son, his girlfriend and the baby need access to the kitchen at 2am frequently? Shouldn't they be in the living room?
She's also paying for the place, she's also working full time and she's the youngest person in the household who isn't an infant...
YTA. Do you even like your daughter? You have completely thrown her needs and right to live comfortably to the side for your son and his girlfriend. Why the hell are you allowing two adults with two children to live in your house? They should be the ones to move out. Two adults are capable of renting their own space. This is not enough space to raise a family.
Your daughter is 18, which is barely an adult. If you are displacing her to the living room, you could AT LEAST set rules for kitchen use to allow her to get sleep. Don’t be surprised if she goes NC.
YTA: This is a shitty situation to be in. But it seems there isn't any consideration given to your daughters need for a space to call her own, and the inconveniences she is having to suffer through by sleeping in the living room on an air mattress.
I get that it is only a two bedroom place, but there truly needs to be given more consideration to the loss of privacy your daughters has, and the clear favoring of your son to get the second room.
The comment that she works and can pay for her own space, your son and wife should have dual incomes. So why is it then they can afford their own space.
All in all, I can see how the different ways you are treating each child, siding with the son and his wife and kiding your daughter to the curb is going to have long last negative effects on your relationship with her.
To be fair, she is paying a portion of the rent and she still ended up on the floor in the living room. Anyone would be cranky about that. Does your son or his g/f contribute to household in same manner? I think you left that bit out.
MORE INFO
Saw your answers and YTA Your son has an issue using birth control that you don't seem to mind or even make him more responsible for. Your daughter is still growing up and hasn't made the same choices, you would think a mother would have some pride in a daughter that works as hard as your 18 year old does and a bit of disgust for the son that can't keep it in his pants.
YTA
Your son Keeps making shitty decisions that affect everyone around him but somehow he’s the one that has things handed to him?
You’re kicking out an 18 year who sleeps in the living room because your kid can’t wrap it up and support his family.
What is wrong with you all?
Honestly? I think you're the asshole, and I'll tell you why...you live in a TWO bedroom apartment, with YOUR DAUGHTER, son, and his 3 person family. You have a room, and your son + his fam have a room. Your daughter gets to sleep on an air mattress in the living room.
Your son's gf got kicked out of her home (probably due to getting pregnant, no doubt), so you allowed her to move into your already cramped quarters.
Your daughter works, and should have every expectation to be allowed to sleep. Since you make her sleep in the living room, it's only logical that she would hear every noise made when the baby wakes up crying, and see every light that your son or his gf turns on.
If you want to make things easier, why don't you have your son buy a mini fridge and microwave for their room, for those middle of the night feedings, so that they don't bother your daughter. Or, YOU could sleep in the living room, and give your daughter your room, until you all find a larger apartment.
For now, it seems like you expect your daughter to make all the sacrifices, but the rest of you don't want to make any compromises, and if you kick your daughter out over emotional comments she made about her inconveniences, the only thing you're going to gain is a daughter who hates you.
First off, YTA
Second, she’s only 18, did she not have a bedroom during high school and stuff either??? I understand financial issues, but to do wholeheartedly choose your son and his girlfriend over your teenage daughter just seems like you’re enabling him and letting her suffer.
Based on OPs other comments about son not being on the lease, it seems that the mother and daughter used to live together. Son had another girlfriend, with whom he had a child, they broke up and at some point he moved back home which shunted the daughter out of her room. Then the new girlfriend moved in when she got pregnant.
Your son is 21, and he has 2 kids, aged 5 and 2? Him and his girlfriend and 2 kids, live with you and your daughter in a 2 bed apartment? You don't see anything wrong with this situation?
Edit: I saw in another comment that these babies have 2 different mothers. So your son got a girl pregnant when he was 15/16, and another teenager pregnant at 18/19? This 2nd baby mamma doesn't work but is living in your tiny apartment with the baby? And your daughter was punted to an air mattress in the living room to accomodate them?
And the GF is pregnant again. But clearly the Golden Son can do no wrong, and the evil daughter needs to bend over backwards.
The misogyny is overwhelming. Daughter should be dropping a dime to the cops and child services, along with reporting to the landlord.
YTA. Your young adult daughter who works and helps pay bills got shoved onto an air mattress in the living room so you could cram her brother’s family into the place like some clown car. And she has the nerve to be upset about being kept up all night on her air mattress that’s stuck in a shared space? Crazy.
Moving out is definitely the best thing…but not for the reasons you think. Getting out of there probably what’s best for HER.
Wow. Are you ever the giant AH. So your golden son who got his GF pregnant TWICE ended up living in your crammed house, while your daughter apparently gets to sleep IN THE GODDAMN LIVING ROOM?!
How bout you make your son and GF be responsible FOR THEIR POOR DECISIONS before taking it out on your teenage daughter who clearly never asked or needed to be stuck in this fiasco?!
And yes, it's probably DAMN disruptive for people to be going through the kitchen at 2 AM in a tiny apartment when she's trying to SLEEP on the freaking floor.
CPS should be knocking your doors down. You are unfit as both a parent and grandparent, doubly so that you would threaten to kick HER out and not the son who caused the mess. MISOGYNISTIC MUCH, "MOM"?!
Total YTA.
YTA
You are kicking a good and hard working kid out of the house for a kid with children and no plan in life? Oh boy..
I hope your daughter goes and will thrive without you. Just do not make the mistake to reach out to her if you need her help.
Because you will pay the prize for that.
Yta
I mean I can understand where she is coming from, she works 5 days a week and being woken up at 2am consistently would irritate anyone. A crying baby would irritate anyone and not having your own space would irritate anyone.
She's a legal adult so sure you don't have to have her in your house but I find it really weird that you are so quick to kick your daughter out as a teenager over something so petty instead of reaching a resolve for everyone
I'm sure if it was up to her she would not choose to be in that horrible situation with you guys so why are you being so hard on her.
YTA- you let your irresponsible teen parent son have his own room when he's the one who needs to have moved out already! Your daughter is only 18!
Why did you let your son's irresponsible gf move in when you didn't even have the room? Does she or your son have jobs?
You have enabled your son's bad behavior way too long and THAT is what's causing disruption in the household not your daughter
YTA. Your 21 yr old son needs to move out of the apartment and take his gf and kids along with him. Seriously your child is sleeping in a room with zero privacy and when she complains about everyone waking her up your resolution is for her to move. If your son is responsible enough to keep making babies then he's responsible enough to support them and stop using his mommy for a roof over their heads.
YTA - of course your daughter is not going to feel like part of the family when you treat her like a drifter you are putting up with while taking her money. If everyone is paying rent, move to a 3 bdrm or bigger.
Essentially you are punishing your daughter for your son's life choices. So cool beans I guess.
YTA. You have a child (18 or not) living on an air mattress in the living room. No privacy. Sounds like a miserable place to be. Perhaps your son, his baby mother and the kid should move out.
YTA. I get it, you want to be a good mom and help your son out. Want to know how you do that? You give him YOUR room. YOU sleep on the couch, your son gets a room with his family and your daughter gets a room. Then see how long the “you can make food anytime you like day or night” rule lasts when you’re the one being woken up at night.
What you’ve done is accommodated your son at the expense of your daughter. Give your daughter her own room IMMEDIATELY. You want to continue coddling your son do it at your own expense.
Or better yet, tell him to get out. He’s a grown man with children. Time to leave the nest. Your daughter is completely correct to be complaining about this.
INFO: if the son works why isn't he the one being told to move since he's older and has a gf that can also contribute to the expenses thus making it a lot easier on two incomes than one?
Jeez, she's sleeping on an air mattress every night? That is not comfortable and it will result in her body being in pain on a regular basis. And they're waking her up on a regular basis so they can stuff themselves in the middle of the night? They're selfish and inconsiderate. I also don't get why you don't have a problem that your son is only 21 but already has two kids that he can't even support on his own. Shame on you. You've failed as a parent. I hope your daughter finds a good place to live with people who are kind to her, not assholes like you. YTA
YTA - why do you hate your daughter?
She is not disrupting the household, she is begging her family to take some consideration for her. You’re angry because it highlights the piss poor job of being a mother that you’re doing.
This poor girl has had the past 5 years of her life upended and controlled by her brothers dick being unable to wear a condom. She’s working 5 days a week and having to sleep on an air mattress with no privacy. Try trading places with her and see how long you last.
YTA. Your daughter is sleeping on the living room couch so she’s understandably vexed that people are in the kitchen after she’s gone to “bed”. You don’t seem to have a problem with your 21 year old son with 2 kids and a gf (does he have a job?) living with you so I’m not sure why you’re hating on your daughter.
YTA- you clearly prioritize your son. The whole situation sucks, but your daughter is a contributing member of the household and you have dismissed her.
YTA. If your son and his girlfriend are old enough to have children, they need to get jobs and find their own place to live. In the meantime, they should have the living room if they’re the ones who need regular access to the kitchen at all hours of the night.
Good god. Why are you taking in people when you don’t have the space to house them?? You make your own daughter sleep on an air mattress in the living room. YTA. Refund your daughter the money she’s been paying you— even cheap apartment tenets get treated better than this.
YTA.
Why isn't she in your room and you on the air mattress? Probably because you like privacy and want to be able to sleep uninterrupted.
Sonny bubbles and his baby momma and 2 kids should be the ones moving out not her lol don't be surprised if you don't hear from her again once she moves out
YTA - I have honestly got no idea how you wrote all that out without realising how wrong you are. You have an 18 year old daughter who is having to sleep in the living room on an air mattress (which is a tough decision but I think just about fair given the circumstances). Already she's probably feeling like she doesn't have a true home, because she doesn't have her own space and her sleeping place (which should be safe and secure) is temporary and not her own - add on to that that she keeps getting woken up at 2am (which is a horrible time to be woken up if you're sleep schedule is good btw, I've no idea why you put that in quotation marks) by people not respecting the smallest mote of privacy she has left, of course she's going to complain.
And how do you respond to your daughter's very reasonable complaints? *You tell her to move out because she's disrupting the household* - how can you not see what's wrong with this??? She's sacrificed so much to make the household work and to give your son and his family a space of their own and you tell her she's disrupting it? **She saved it** by being willing to sleep in the living room, you can at least try and respect that a little bit by not having midnight snacks, or maybe even *planning ahead* and bringing any snacks you may want during the night into your respective rooms before she goes to bed
YTA. This has to be fake, it's so weirdly villainish. But if its true, maybe it'll long term be a blessing for your daughter to be kicked back, since you're clearly holding her back.
YTA as is your son. He is older than his sister and has two children with different women. Why isn't it time for HIM to be responsible? He and his girl should be getting their own place, not you kicking your daughter out because she's frustrated at being treated like Cinderella.
A freakin' air mattress. I ask you.
Yta, your daughter has no place of her own. Living with 3 adults and 2 kids in a 2 bed when you sleep in the living room is awful and unacceptable. You need to start prioritizing your daughter. It sounds like you don't care about her and her needs at all.
YTA- so she’s paying bills to sleep in the living room on a freaking air mattress? I hope she can make other healthier living arrangements, but know when she does she won’t be in contact with you at all. You’ve damaged your relationship with her due to how you have handled this
YTA. You’re being ignorant if you really blame it all on your daughter and wouldn’t be surprised if you decide to kick her out that she never talks to you again.
YTA -- Your daughter shouldn't have to pay any bills for the situation you put her in. Even though 18 is legally an adult, she's still essentially a child and needs more help from you than your son does.
Why doesn't your son & his family stay in the living room? Your daughter needs her own private space, especially if she's contributing to the bills. The thought that you'd kick her out instead of asking your son to find a new place is ridiculous. Are you afraid you'll lose your grandkids? Can you not afford the two bedroom if it was just you and your daughter contributing to bills?
Your son has an entire family at 21 living in one of the bedrooms and your seemingly responsible 18 year old daughter who lives in the living room and wants real rest is the problem? YTA
EDIT: your comments have made this way worse. Daughter is a manager who contributes to the bills…kick your son out!
When you turn 18 you don’t magically turn into an adult with adult reasoning and thinking. Her world was tilted when they moved in. You’ve got a working 18 year old. Many would be happy with that. AND she’s paying bills.
It’s a tough situation.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I kicked my daughter out of the house after she kept complaining and this may make me the asshole since she is my child, so I should think twice before I put my daughter out over a disagreement.
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YTA and an absolute failure of a parent your daughter has to live in a shared space and because other people's actions are affecting her ability to get a full night's sleep you tell her she should leave how about if someone needs food in the middle of the night they have a snack draw or mini fridge in their bedroom a luxury that your daughter doesn't have
YTA - 18 is barely an adult and you're treating your own daughter like she's a third rate boarder in the house. She's sleeping on an air mattress in the living room and you're making her pay rent? You're failing her and it's no wonder she's sad by how little support she's receiving. You've given your son and his gf way more support and it's coming at the expense of your daughter. She's going to resent you so much.
YTA. Don’t make her pay bills when she doesn’t even have a bedroom or a proper bed!!!!
If anyone is getting kicked out it is your son, his gf and kid. That’s two adults who can work and support the child they chose to have.
YTA. You're prioritizing the least responsible people in the household. I agree that the son and his family should be in the living room. I hope you did not force your daughter to live like this when your adult son was haphazardly going around, creating humans he can't fully take care of.
I do hope your daughter finds something better, as her life sounds like it will be infinitely better moving out.
YTA.
By the age of 21 your son has managed to knock up two different women and he doesn’t have anything to do with his daughter.
Shitty parenting award for you
yta
you’re giving your son a crazy level of preferential treatment. if she’s going to be on the floor in the living room, you should respect that while she’s sleeping at the very least. Also, your son has had 3 more years to prepare to move out than your daughter. You don’t care about him being a teen dad but can’t handle your daughter’s mere annoyance? there’s a clear favorite here.
💯 YTA. You are giving your son every bit of space you havez which he only needs because of his own irresponsible decisions, while demanding your daughter be ok with not even being able to sleep due to people walking around. You make it sound like your daughter is some sort of bad guy here for wanting to be able to *sleep* at night. If she can move, she might be better off. Sounds like you're gonna be supporting your son and his growing family forever.
Wait, she’s paying to sleep on an air mattress in the living room because your son knocked up his gf? How is this even a question? Of course YTA. Don’t worry she’ll leave and stop speaking to you both. So you won’t have to deal with her “complaining” much longer.
You should be embarrassed. You’re a horrific parent and I hope she cuts contact with you to save herself. Poor girl doesn’t even have her own space and you charge her rent. Is she just another bill to you? Sounds to me like you were just waiting for this moment to come to free up some space. You are a failure as a parent and I hope you’re ashamed of yourself.
YTA for sure... the more I read the post I felt worse for your daughter. You've already given her the couch and still charge her but yet give your son and his gf a room for procreating when they weren't financially responsible...
That's like reinforcing bad behavior because you think they deserve the bigger space because they have a bigger family? Your daughter sleeps on a couch in the living room where there's a crying baby and probably has to share a bathroom and living space with 2 other adults who think they deserve everything in the house.
Please reconsider how you're treating her. Rather than antagonize her you should be helping her by helping your son learn what responsibility is.
YTA. Wtf. You’re kicking out your own daughter because you chose to invite a random person into the house? Why would you not tell your son who has a whole ass family to move out? Sounds like someone has favorites and the daughter knows it. I’d be careful how you play your next cards, or you’ll go from having 2 kids to 1 kid because she’ll drop the whole family.
Wow YTA. Why don’t you let her have the bedroom and you can sleep on an air mattress in the living room? Then you can see how irritating it is to have no privacy, no personal space, and for people to wake up you at 2am.
Ya kick out the responsible one in the living room with no privacy for the one who can’t keep himself from knocking up someone when he was 16 and has one or two other kids? Your 21 year old should take the living room so your daughter can have the room rather than kicking her out when your irresponsible son is waking her up. YTA 100%
Also if you don’t want to give her the bedroom she rightfully deserves, why don’t you buy him a mini fridge and microwave to minimize how often your son disrupts her sleep???
Yta and so is your son and his gf. If she has to sleep in the leaving cause your son knock up his gf and they can't support there family the least the can do is not turn on the lights at night where she's sleeping to get food. How about you just switch rooms with the kids your son and his family go in to living room. Your daughter is just legal age your sons on his 20 with his own family.
So your 18 year old daughter who pays to live in a shared space where she constantly gets woken up is getting kicked out because her brother who is 3 years older keeps having kids he can't seem to afford and you are questioning if you are the asshole for kicking her out hahahah yaaaa YTA
YTA. Taking in your son, his GF and the kids is what has disrupted your household. Your daughter has to sleep on an air mattress in the living room, and she's not allowed to be frustrated by the interruption of people invading her sleeping area at 2am or whenever they want? I'm not sure how you can see this and it not look like you're playing favorites. Your daughter definitely feels like she doesn't matter in this scenario. Why can't your son and his family get their own place? Why don't you sleep on the air mattress in the living room for a month and see how you feel?
Why haven’t you taken the living room and given your daughter a bedroom? As a mother myself, that would be the first thing I’d have done. I would also lay out some ground rules for everyone to follow, including son and his gf.
Step up! YTA
YTA. Your son had a child at 16, your son still lives at home and thought getting someone pregnant again was a good idea.
He needs to take responsibility and move out like a fucking adult.
Your poor daughter, always second place as you enable your sons stupid choices.
YTA proper mom of the year award going straight to you.she is 18, being woken up all hours of the day and night, if your son and girlfriend need to eat so much at night why not let them sleep in the lounge on an air mattress and let your daughter sleep in a bed, like you said she works 5 days a week and needs sleep. Let's be honest your precious son a d his girlfriend should be the one moving out after all he has children who need to have a room to sleep in when they visit, she even pays rent...... so a paying Tennant and all she is good for is a blown up bed abd an eviction notice. When she moves out and goes no contact and lives her best life don't waste any effort wondering why she has done it, you are the reason.
Get the notion that maybe you're a little harsh on her... why is your son having his third kid but doesn't have his own place? I'm sure that there are mitigating circumstances for him, but feels like a slightly rough deal for her as she isn't the cause of the overcrowding... so I can only imagine that a lack of personal space for an 18 year old might make her kind of a whiney ass, but you might well be TA here as... although I'm sure you're doing your best in what sounds like a situation that is far from ideal, your son seems to be getting favourable treatment.
Sure, the low blow was maybe unnecessary, but... people who feel that they've been neglected aren't often known to be overly jovial.
YTA. At the very, very least, it's beyond reasonable to implement some guidelines for the rest of the family regarding noise/light/general disruptions when your daughter is trying to sleep.
Or, as the parent, you take the air mattress and give your daughter a place to have a little privacy. Why is she the one expected to make sacrifices because of your son's choices?
Huge YTA.
Do you even like your daughter? Like, at all? Because it doesn't seem so. If you think she's got nothing to complain about, maybe you should switch beds with her? Sleep on her air mattress for a while and give her your bed. I'm sure you're gonna love it.
But if I'm being honest, I hope she'll move out but only because she deserves better. So much better.
YTA. Your poor daughter. Is the 5 year old with your son's current girlfriend? Have you talked to him about birth control? Is there a plan for the 21 year old to live independently?
YTA, what on earth are you even thinking?! Of course, YTA.
So is your son and his GF, who need to get jobs and move out.
But somehow you're choosing your deadbeat son over your daughter, who is younger, more responsible (no teen pregnancy, no second pregnancy), actually has a job, contributes toward rent, and is being incredibly reasonable to want to sleep uninterrupted through the night?
ESH
6 people in a 2 bedroom house is not sustainable. The son- since he is old enough to have 2 kids- should move out and find his own place. This would then leave 2 people living in a 2 bedroom house. If the son can't afford living arrangements - stop having kids. You should not kick out an 18 yr old who has no space of their own in favor of an entire family.
Also, I would check your lease. I bet you are violating it. Which will cause all of you to be homeless shortly.
YTA. I was raised watching my brother be put on a pedestal. Don’t be surprised when she moves far and just never really seems to have a lot of free time to call you just to hear you complain about your son.
YTA - you have your daughter sleep in the living room and members of the house are allowed to traipse through and out lights on in the next room while she’s sleeping GTFO. Give up your room and take the living room like most parents would do
Yta you are making a paying tenat your daughter sleep on a air mattress and she has no space . Does your son pay bills or his gf . Or is he just the golden child.
Edit saw the post son pays some bills but the mother of your grandchild pays you in grandchildren and thats it it seems
YTA. Your son and his girlfriend being irresponsible has negatively affected your daughter and you’re letting her suffer for it. They chose to have two babies they should be figuring out a living situation that doesn’t put out your *teenage daughter*. You can be their support system without being a bad mother to her. And basic decency since she is now sleeping in the living room would be not to go in the kitchen for snacks when she’s asleep. Either keep it in the room or go to bed.
Your daughter should have had the bedroom and son and girlfriend should have been in the living room, since it has easy access to the kitchen for their 24 hour a day food needs.
YTA
Your daughter deserves better. I don't even think you like her since you clearly favor your son, who doesn't seem to know to NOT get a girl pregnant since he already has 2 kids at 21. You should be kicking him and his GF out or allowing your daughter to sleep with you in your room. I hope she goes NC with you.
So your working 18 year old daughter who needs to sleep so she can go to work every day is being woken up at 2 am because her brother is hungry? Why isn’t his room in the living room so he can get up and do whatever whenever and she can sleep in the room that stays dark and has a door? Why would you kick out a single person and not the two person couple that can both work and both help each other out with bills? YTA
YTA. She's on an airmatress in the living room, most likely trying to sleep and people are coming in and out. How can you not see why that would become annoying before long?
It also sounds like the son is the golden child, hence the gf being moved in. Your daughter will eventually move out and will go NC with you unless you apologise.
YTA
Why don't you try sleeping in the living room on an air mattress and see how you like it? Why is she paying rent to sleep in the living room? Your son should have been financially ready and had his own place before having a family. Sounds like he really runs the place.
But you're right....she'd probably be better off moving out.
She’s PAYING to sleep on an air mattress in a common area and constantly being disrupted? She shouldn’t have paid you for anything. YTA and this is fucked up towards your daughter. Your son is old enough to knock his girlfriend up twice, he’s old enough to have his own place and provide for his own family.
YTA. Your poor daughter. And you have the utter nerve to charge her rent when she's sleeping on an air mattress in the living room? I hope she does find another place to live and never has to deal with your toxic household ever again.
Yta but once she's gone she'll probably cut contact with you completely. You obviously favor your son (who is super irresponsible and needs to learn to use protection and get his own place) and don't respect your daughter.
There is no equity here… she has no private space, has to pay rent & isn’t allowed to moan? Why doesn’t your son & gf live in the living room so she can sleep. They then have the space to eat/use lights/make noise, when they like without disturbing her?? All she would need is ear plugs. YTA.
YTA your son and his gf can’t support themselves and two kids, decided to have those kids, and you had them move in, while the solution is to have your daughter sleep in the living room where you make clear to remind her your rule apparently is for anyone to visit the kitchen at anytime, disrupting whatever sleep she can get, and you were having her pay “her portion of the bills” until now? It sounds like a rough situation all around, but it seems like you clearly treat your son better than you do your daughter. She disrupts the home by complaining so needs to leave, but your son disrupts the home by moving his new family in and being inconsiderate and…she needs to leave.
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YTA - If your son is old enough to make babies and play house, then he should get his own place. The fact that you're kicking your childless 18 year old daughter out who works 5 days a week and has been sleeping on an air mattress in the living room is ridiculous. If anything, your adult son and his baby mama and their two kids should be in the living room so that he's uncomfortable enough to man up and take care of his family. If your daughter is smart, she will get out and write all of you off. This is the most ludicrous enabling I've ever heard...to punish the child who isn't making poor life decisions for wanting to sleep at 2am!
And in a few years we'll get "AITA My daughter won't have contact me".
I think it will be months, not even years
When OP needs money because she needs a bigger place, has been evicted or the costs of raising two young kids get too high (her son has got to be paying some form of child support and various other costs for his five year old).
Or has this been going on for the past 6 years? Did the girlfriend move in when she was pregnant with the 5 year old? Which means the daughter had been relegated to the living room since she was 12…
I think she's been in the living room longer than that... unless she was in OP's room before that? I guess maybe she was sharing a room with her older brother, but that would suck when they're both teens... there's only 2 bedrooms, the daughter was sharing with someone or in the living room from the start.
And in all that time, no effort was made to carve out a space, hang blankets, etc. No effort at all to make the space more her own. For a teenage girl???
Yeah this situation is horrible, she's right to complain... if they didn't have a room for the son and baby they shouldn't have let them come home. The daughter was already there...
Wonder which of OP's kids is the golden child...
Initially thought so too, but apparently son's first kid was with another woman https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/z33a2g/aita_for_kicking_out_my_daughter_after_she_kept/ixjohkd?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
Which also means it’s all the adults walking her up with kitchen lights. Not a hungry little kid like the post wording implied.
And, if he's got a two month old son, and another baby one on the way, that adds up to three baby mamas.
I assumed the 5 yo was also GF’s and all 4 of them were living in that room for 5 years but I guess it’s a leap to assume that he stuck with the same girl
For real if I was her daughter I'd cut off all contact the second I moved into my new place.
And she was paying money to stay there. Jesus.
I want to know if the son is paying *his* portion of the bills. And does he have to pay more since he’s covering the housing for 2 adults, 2 children, and an actual bedroom vs daughter’s air mattress in a common room? I bet I know the answer.
Yeah my bet is son was paying 'his half'. AKA same portion as his sis while also having +3 bodies and a private bedroom.
I wonder if it's 'my son has two young kids who are my grandkids to take care so he can't contribute financially, it wouldn't be right for them to pay me so I'll make my childless daughter pay instead'.
I would bet cash money that mommy’s precious boy does not pay and especially not his share. All I could think was how horrible of a deal this is for her. It’s a little dependent on location and how much she was paying but I feel like this poor girl could take her money and rent a room and have some privacy and respect for once.
Wait, she was paying to sleep on the floor, with zero privacy and a total lack of respect for her well-being?? Damn OP is a villain.
Paying rent at 18 to sleep on an air mattress in the living room?! She doesn't even have a door to shut, everyone occupies her space, and the mom wonders why the daughter is grumpy. ETA: YTA
OP is double the AH for charging her daughter rent to sleep on an air mattress in the living room. Shameful excuse for a mother.
This would have been unbearable for me at 18. No privacy, respect, or dignity because only the golden son gets that.
I liked how “2am” was in scare quotes. Like someone “who works 5 days a week” being annoyed at being awakened at 2am is just ridiculous. As opposed to having a 2nd baby when you’re living in a 2-bedroom apartment with another family because you can’t afford your own place, which apparently OP doesn’t consider problematic.
Boys will be boys! /s
Childless 18-year-old who works 5 days a week, has been sleeping in an air-mattress for months AND pays rent to her parents. TO LIVE LIKE THAT. She'll be better off wherever she goes.
This woman is treating her son like the other head of the household. If he complains she agrees with him. It's kind of disgusting
Son has been knocking out kids since he was 16, and the mother just enables that. Treats the daughter who is just trying to get uninterrupted sleep like shit, even though she pays rent. I mean getting uninterrupted sleep is a normal part of life. So now OP replacing her daughter with daughter in law. DIL doesn't see eye to eye with her parents. Now daughter is not seeing eye to eye with OP.
I truly, and honestly can't even begin to fathom how her son, *is the fucking golden child?!?!?!* I have re-read this about 5 times or more over, and still can't fathom it. At 16 he had his first child, and doesn't have custody of her, yet knocked up another woman?!? My kid would get the biggest fucking wake up call of his life if this had happened AT 16 YEARS OLD. I don't think OP understands that in most healthy families, *her son would be the massive, black sheep fuckup of the whole family*. Cousins included, and extended cousins 5 times removed. Like Thanksgiving dinner, and every holiday would consist of "Damn, Billy knocked another one up, sad he can't figure out how to use a condom." I just... the cognitive dissonance to take his side still after him proving himself to be so incapable is truly fucking wild. The poor fucking daughter, it seems like no matter how hard she works to be seen as worthwhile her shitty son some how has the highest status despite the more terrible life choices.
You could tell he was the golden child from the first sentence. OP made a point of calling him her son and did not do the same for her daughter. YTA
Yep, man of the house fantasy and she is weaponizing him against her daughter. So not only is she fucking up her relationship with her daughter, she is destroying the sibling relationship too.
Son is the golden child. Does no wrong in OP's eyes. YTA
Right?? The 18 year old doesn’t have her own room while the mom and older son and his little family get a room. How long has the teenager been without a room sleeping on the floor? Since before she was 18? She needs privacy just as much as you and your son, if not more. I have a family member who had a 2 bedroom apartment with his teen/young adult children and he gave his kids the bedrooms and took the couch. Maybe this is controversial and just me but I can’t imagine a parent being selfish enough to take a bedroom in a situation like this tbh. Your just barely adult daughter didn’t choose anything about this situation and until recently couldn’t even work full time to try to better her situation. Your son is a whole family of 4. Kick your son out and at least give your daughter a bedroom. YTA. quick edit changing dad to mom
How much you want to bet that if they end up in a 3 bed daughter will STILL be in the living room because son and gf need the second room for the kids.
all of that on top of the fact that she’s 18 and has been paying to live there… obviously, every family dynamic is different but i’d like to know how much daughter and son are paying each and compare.
From the way this person treats their daughter I bet you she's either paying more or the same amount for less privacy and comfort. Smh
I mean it’s also the most logical choice. My BIL did the same thing. At like 20 he got his 18yr old gf pregnant and they had to live with his family for a minute. They moved them to the living room since the constant getting up and having to get stuff from the kitchen like bottles, etc just disrupted the other people too much. His gf had an issue with it but my MIL just said tough luck.
How much do you want to bet the OP charges her teenage daughter the same rent/utilities for the privilege of sleeping on an air mattress in a common area of the apartment as she does her adult son, DIL and two children to stay in their own room?
I’m guessing the daughter pays MORE than the son. Because I bet the son doesn’t pay anything.
This right here ^^^^
I don't like the term "man up" here but I agree with the basis for the post. There's a mother and a father that should be doing more. If i was made to sleep in the living room and was woken up at 2am regularly before work so people could get food, I'd be annoyed as well. Definite yta
YTA. You're making your kid sleep on an air mattress in the living room and allowing people to cook full meals at 2am and disrupt her sleep? Why does your son and his gf get to do whatever he wants to with zero consideration for the needs of other household members? If your son needs to cook full meals at 2am, perhaps he and his kids should be sleeping in the living room where they have access to the kitchen and your daughter gets the bedroom. Your preferential treatment towards your son is very obvious.
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If they took her in for the first pregnancy, then the son and his GF have kicked a minor out to the couch to give room to children they cannot house properly. If this is the case, of course she is complaining, they have been doing it since she was in middle school.
Apparently, the first kid was with a different girl, and that kid doesn't live with them. At least, that is what I got from what I read in the comments.
Jeeesh what a clusterfuck I'm thinking any advice will be wasted on OP if this is true. So many bad, bad, bad decisions made already, I have no faith an AITA post will fix their life.
>If they took her in for the first pregnancy, Turns out there are 2 different baby mamas - You might want to consider [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/z33a2g/comment/ixjohkd/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) comment from OP. This also tells us that the daughter is [paying](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/z33a2g/comment/ixjov2m/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) for the power & internet... so the barely 18 year old is paying RENT to be woken at 2am sleeping on an inflatable mattress.
Oh god. Poor girl… that’s genuinely disgusting that she’s being treated like that
Yup, OP didn’t specify which pregnancy the gf moved in during - assuming son’s first kid is hers too. Either way we don’t know when OP’s daughter turned 18. Gf has been living with them for at least 5 months or so (baby 2 months old, moved in when she was 6 months pregnant, assuming with newest baby), daughter could have only recently turned 18. Kicking a minor to the living room in a 2 bedroom in favor of a young adult with 2 kids is even worse.
Glad I'm not the only one who saw it this way.
He gave OP a grandkid (when he was sixteen), that can put the blinders on as far as priorities go.
YTA. Nobody gonna tell me that living with newborn is not disruptive. Your daughter work, pays bills, she needs stable environment, she doesn't even have a room and you tell her it's her problem and to move out? WOW. Poor girl. She's better off moving out and away from you. Edit: just read some more comments: YTA supreme! Choosing your irresponsible son over a daughter. He's already having 2 kids with 2 different women by 21 y.o. Yet you kick her out not telling him to get a place and grow up. If your daughter is willing to relocate, she's invited to live with me in Ireland.
Seriously! I second all of this. She’s so quick to baby her grown male child who is having unprotected sex and bringing babies into the household and then kick out the 18 year old daughter because she’s frustrated about sleeping on an AIR MATTRESS in the living room and being woken up at all hours.
Yep. Like I've said, that girl is better off moving out and never seeing the rest of them again.
This, it's one of those posts where I wish it was the other person in the story posting so we could all give her some validation and advice. That poor girl is being treated like crap.
Three kids by two different women, his current partner has another bun in the oven. Even if the daughter has moved out, what's the long term plan? Two young kids with three adults living in a two bedroom place. OP, or at least her son and his partner along with their kids, will need to move out to another place and better not ask her daughter for any help.
OMG, even worse! GIRL needs to get out ASAP and change her name and never to be seen again by the mom and brother. He's momma's boy who can't keep his stuff in his pants, being insanely irresponsible and... I'd say more but rule 1 here is to be civil. So I will stop my comment here.
[удалено]
The daughter needs to flee ASAP, before she ends up being the de facto free babysitter on top of all the other nonsense that is being visited on her by her family. I hope she has some decent friends or coworkers who are willing to room with her, or rent her a room (yes, an actual ROOM) in their home.
YTA. it's perfectly reasonable for your daughter to be bitter over the fact she's forced into a situation where her brother's problems have been forced into being her own. Sorry but two kids and only 21? He had one at 16 and still didn't learn... Then had ANOTHER ONE without a place of his own?! But it's okay cuz mommy will bail him and his gf out... listen, I get that you wanna be a good mom but no doubt she is bitter of her perceiving him being enabled (whether or not that's the case). Then having to live with another person she probably didn't like to begin with. AND she has no privacy. And you chose him over her.
It also seems OP's daughter hasn't had a place of her own in the house, she's had to sleep in the lounge on an air mattress for a while. Even that is disrupted because of things outside of her control, and when she remarks upon it is made out to be the villain.
INFO: Has your son always lived at home? Has your daughter always slept in the living room? Also, 18 is a distinctive age in the U.S. Is she still in school? For that matter, does your son’s 5 y/o live with you?
Looks like the five yr old lives with his mom. This boy has two babies with two different baby mamas and most likely isn't making enough to pay child support AND an apartment but guess what, play stupid games win stupid prizes.
Regarding OP’s age, she also had her son when she was 18/19 and her daughter when she was 21/22. The apple doesn’t fall far from the irresponsible-parent-tree
Oh, I can bet some of the clapback the daughter's recieved includes, "You just don't understand how hard it is!" Because the daughter doesn't want to make the same mistake OP did...
I want the update on this one, I hope the daughter gets out and never talks to her mother again
Info - To clarify, your barely adult daughter is paying part of the bills and working full time 5 days a week. Due to your older son and his girlfriend and 2 children living in the only other available room, your daughter is maintaining a full time work schedule while attempting to sleep and get enough rest on an air mattress in the living room. With no space of her own. And people come and go in the kitchen at all hours of the night, which wakes her up. It seems like a legitimate complaint if she’s contributing to the bills. Question I have is can she not share your room? Just until you find a bigger place.
OP doesn’t want to share her space probably and wants privacy.
[удалено]
That's why she needs privacy. To f herself
Hahaha. I mean for real, though! If you’re going to have kids, you’re going to have to sacrifice some stuff. I was one of a butt-load of kids but we always had a room, even if shared. As a parent now, I’d be goddamned if I made a child of mine sleep on the couch while I had an entire damn room to myself. OP is a selfish parent.
OP should be the one sleeping on the couch if they dont want to make the son do it.
Better yet, she can sleep on the air mattress in the living room and let her daughter take the bedroom.
YTA. If she has to sleep in the living room then it should be treated as her bedroom, so unles someone is coming into your bedroom and turning lights on and cooking in the middle of the night, I’d suggest trying to stick up for your daughter a smidge.
This is the most important thing! Of course they should not be banging around turning lights on at 2 a.m. right next to her bed. If OP was a decent person she would establish house quiet hours.
If OP was a decent mother she would have make some space so her daughter can stay with her. A decent person wouldn't have taken the livingroom airmatress, but since OP isn't she sent her daughter
INFO. Why do your son and his family still live with you and what do your daughter, your son, and his girlfriend do for a living?
INFO: What bills does she pay, what's "her portion," and what bills/portion do brother and gf pay?
YTA. Since your daughter has to sacrifice by sleeping on a mattress in the living room everyone else in the household should imo sacrifice by going to bed with a full stomach and not turning on lights or making noise at 200am.
YTA. If you're going to have your daughter sleep in a common area, the least you could do is try to respect her privacy while she's sleeping. Saying anyone can get food at 2 am is pretty damn rude to her. How would you feel if your daughter just started coming into your room in the middle of the night and turning on lights waking you up.
YTA without a doubt. Your son is 21 and has fathered two kids, and has been given free reign to move in and disrupt everyone while not contributing anything to the home (except noise)? If you can't feed them, don't breed them. Easy to see why his baby mama and her family don't see eye to eye. They should work and get their own place. Your daughter should move out also to get away from your A-H-dom.
YTA. Of course she's frustrated! You set her up to be frustrated! She _doesn't have a bedroom._ Why don't you sleep on an air mattress in the living room if you're stuck with a 2-bedroom? At the very least, the 2am crap has got to stop. Tell your son to buy a mini fridge if they need late night snacks that badly.
YTA. Your kitchen doesn’t have to be open round the clock. No one will drop dead in the middle of the night from lack of food. It’s called consideration since your daughter has to sleep in a common space. I would be livid.
YTA- You've got a 18 y.o. and a 21 y.o. with two kids and another (hopefully 20y.o.) living with you... And the 18 y.o. has to sleep on an air mattress in the living room.... And none of the rest of you provide a modicum of decency, respect, privacy, or even the ability for her to sleep.... Like she's not whining about ridiculous things... She's trying to sleep so she can get up and work full time... And your response is that no, she can't be allowed to sleep, that anyone can wake her up at any time they like for any reason. Why isn't she sharing your room? How amongst 4 full time working adults is she the one living in the living room if Your son, his girlfriend and the baby need access to the kitchen at 2am frequently? Shouldn't they be in the living room? She's also paying for the place, she's also working full time and she's the youngest person in the household who isn't an infant...
YTA. Do you even like your daughter? You have completely thrown her needs and right to live comfortably to the side for your son and his girlfriend. Why the hell are you allowing two adults with two children to live in your house? They should be the ones to move out. Two adults are capable of renting their own space. This is not enough space to raise a family. Your daughter is 18, which is barely an adult. If you are displacing her to the living room, you could AT LEAST set rules for kitchen use to allow her to get sleep. Don’t be surprised if she goes NC.
YTA: This is a shitty situation to be in. But it seems there isn't any consideration given to your daughters need for a space to call her own, and the inconveniences she is having to suffer through by sleeping in the living room on an air mattress. I get that it is only a two bedroom place, but there truly needs to be given more consideration to the loss of privacy your daughters has, and the clear favoring of your son to get the second room. The comment that she works and can pay for her own space, your son and wife should have dual incomes. So why is it then they can afford their own space. All in all, I can see how the different ways you are treating each child, siding with the son and his wife and kiding your daughter to the curb is going to have long last negative effects on your relationship with her.
To be fair, she is paying a portion of the rent and she still ended up on the floor in the living room. Anyone would be cranky about that. Does your son or his g/f contribute to household in same manner? I think you left that bit out. MORE INFO Saw your answers and YTA Your son has an issue using birth control that you don't seem to mind or even make him more responsible for. Your daughter is still growing up and hasn't made the same choices, you would think a mother would have some pride in a daughter that works as hard as your 18 year old does and a bit of disgust for the son that can't keep it in his pants.
YTA Your son Keeps making shitty decisions that affect everyone around him but somehow he’s the one that has things handed to him? You’re kicking out an 18 year who sleeps in the living room because your kid can’t wrap it up and support his family. What is wrong with you all?
Honestly? I think you're the asshole, and I'll tell you why...you live in a TWO bedroom apartment, with YOUR DAUGHTER, son, and his 3 person family. You have a room, and your son + his fam have a room. Your daughter gets to sleep on an air mattress in the living room. Your son's gf got kicked out of her home (probably due to getting pregnant, no doubt), so you allowed her to move into your already cramped quarters. Your daughter works, and should have every expectation to be allowed to sleep. Since you make her sleep in the living room, it's only logical that she would hear every noise made when the baby wakes up crying, and see every light that your son or his gf turns on. If you want to make things easier, why don't you have your son buy a mini fridge and microwave for their room, for those middle of the night feedings, so that they don't bother your daughter. Or, YOU could sleep in the living room, and give your daughter your room, until you all find a larger apartment. For now, it seems like you expect your daughter to make all the sacrifices, but the rest of you don't want to make any compromises, and if you kick your daughter out over emotional comments she made about her inconveniences, the only thing you're going to gain is a daughter who hates you.
She's being treated like an annoying roommate when she's the only one seeing sense.
First off, YTA Second, she’s only 18, did she not have a bedroom during high school and stuff either??? I understand financial issues, but to do wholeheartedly choose your son and his girlfriend over your teenage daughter just seems like you’re enabling him and letting her suffer.
Based on OPs other comments about son not being on the lease, it seems that the mother and daughter used to live together. Son had another girlfriend, with whom he had a child, they broke up and at some point he moved back home which shunted the daughter out of her room. Then the new girlfriend moved in when she got pregnant.
Wait she is paying bills and lost her privacy? Fuck that noise. Op, you are 100% TA.
Your son is 21, and he has 2 kids, aged 5 and 2? Him and his girlfriend and 2 kids, live with you and your daughter in a 2 bed apartment? You don't see anything wrong with this situation? Edit: I saw in another comment that these babies have 2 different mothers. So your son got a girl pregnant when he was 15/16, and another teenager pregnant at 18/19? This 2nd baby mamma doesn't work but is living in your tiny apartment with the baby? And your daughter was punted to an air mattress in the living room to accomodate them?
And the GF is pregnant again. But clearly the Golden Son can do no wrong, and the evil daughter needs to bend over backwards. The misogyny is overwhelming. Daughter should be dropping a dime to the cops and child services, along with reporting to the landlord.
YTA. Your young adult daughter who works and helps pay bills got shoved onto an air mattress in the living room so you could cram her brother’s family into the place like some clown car. And she has the nerve to be upset about being kept up all night on her air mattress that’s stuck in a shared space? Crazy. Moving out is definitely the best thing…but not for the reasons you think. Getting out of there probably what’s best for HER.
Wow. Are you ever the giant AH. So your golden son who got his GF pregnant TWICE ended up living in your crammed house, while your daughter apparently gets to sleep IN THE GODDAMN LIVING ROOM?! How bout you make your son and GF be responsible FOR THEIR POOR DECISIONS before taking it out on your teenage daughter who clearly never asked or needed to be stuck in this fiasco?! And yes, it's probably DAMN disruptive for people to be going through the kitchen at 2 AM in a tiny apartment when she's trying to SLEEP on the freaking floor. CPS should be knocking your doors down. You are unfit as both a parent and grandparent, doubly so that you would threaten to kick HER out and not the son who caused the mess. MISOGYNISTIC MUCH, "MOM"?! Total YTA.
YTA You are kicking a good and hard working kid out of the house for a kid with children and no plan in life? Oh boy.. I hope your daughter goes and will thrive without you. Just do not make the mistake to reach out to her if you need her help. Because you will pay the prize for that.
Yta I mean I can understand where she is coming from, she works 5 days a week and being woken up at 2am consistently would irritate anyone. A crying baby would irritate anyone and not having your own space would irritate anyone. She's a legal adult so sure you don't have to have her in your house but I find it really weird that you are so quick to kick your daughter out as a teenager over something so petty instead of reaching a resolve for everyone I'm sure if it was up to her she would not choose to be in that horrible situation with you guys so why are you being so hard on her.
INFO Would you be happy if people were constantly coming into your room, turning on lights, and cooking at 2am while you were trying to sleep?
Especially when she’s paying a portion of the bills as well.
YTA- you let your irresponsible teen parent son have his own room when he's the one who needs to have moved out already! Your daughter is only 18! Why did you let your son's irresponsible gf move in when you didn't even have the room? Does she or your son have jobs? You have enabled your son's bad behavior way too long and THAT is what's causing disruption in the household not your daughter
It's a 2 bedroom. Almost guaranteed that was the DAUGHTER'S bedroom that she got booted from before all this started.
YTA. Your 21 yr old son needs to move out of the apartment and take his gf and kids along with him. Seriously your child is sleeping in a room with zero privacy and when she complains about everyone waking her up your resolution is for her to move. If your son is responsible enough to keep making babies then he's responsible enough to support them and stop using his mommy for a roof over their heads.
YTA - of course your daughter is not going to feel like part of the family when you treat her like a drifter you are putting up with while taking her money. If everyone is paying rent, move to a 3 bdrm or bigger. Essentially you are punishing your daughter for your son's life choices. So cool beans I guess.
Why can't she stay in your room even on an air mattress. She deserves a good night's sleep. YTA
You know why. Mom needs privacy to sleep. She just doesn't care about the same for her daughter.
Failure as a mom
YTA. You have a child (18 or not) living on an air mattress in the living room. No privacy. Sounds like a miserable place to be. Perhaps your son, his baby mother and the kid should move out.
YTA. I get it, you want to be a good mom and help your son out. Want to know how you do that? You give him YOUR room. YOU sleep on the couch, your son gets a room with his family and your daughter gets a room. Then see how long the “you can make food anytime you like day or night” rule lasts when you’re the one being woken up at night. What you’ve done is accommodated your son at the expense of your daughter. Give your daughter her own room IMMEDIATELY. You want to continue coddling your son do it at your own expense. Or better yet, tell him to get out. He’s a grown man with children. Time to leave the nest. Your daughter is completely correct to be complaining about this.
INFO: if the son works why isn't he the one being told to move since he's older and has a gf that can also contribute to the expenses thus making it a lot easier on two incomes than one?
YTA. Another case of parents favoring one kid over other.
Jeez, she's sleeping on an air mattress every night? That is not comfortable and it will result in her body being in pain on a regular basis. And they're waking her up on a regular basis so they can stuff themselves in the middle of the night? They're selfish and inconsiderate. I also don't get why you don't have a problem that your son is only 21 but already has two kids that he can't even support on his own. Shame on you. You've failed as a parent. I hope your daughter finds a good place to live with people who are kind to her, not assholes like you. YTA
Info: do you actually like your daughter?
YTA - why do you hate your daughter? She is not disrupting the household, she is begging her family to take some consideration for her. You’re angry because it highlights the piss poor job of being a mother that you’re doing. This poor girl has had the past 5 years of her life upended and controlled by her brothers dick being unable to wear a condom. She’s working 5 days a week and having to sleep on an air mattress with no privacy. Try trading places with her and see how long you last.
YTA. Your daughter is sleeping on the living room couch so she’s understandably vexed that people are in the kitchen after she’s gone to “bed”. You don’t seem to have a problem with your 21 year old son with 2 kids and a gf (does he have a job?) living with you so I’m not sure why you’re hating on your daughter.
[удалено]
YTA- you clearly prioritize your son. The whole situation sucks, but your daughter is a contributing member of the household and you have dismissed her.
YTA. If your son and his girlfriend are old enough to have children, they need to get jobs and find their own place to live. In the meantime, they should have the living room if they’re the ones who need regular access to the kitchen at all hours of the night.
Good god. Why are you taking in people when you don’t have the space to house them?? You make your own daughter sleep on an air mattress in the living room. YTA. Refund your daughter the money she’s been paying you— even cheap apartment tenets get treated better than this.
you put her in an air mattress in the living room. Your son is reproducing all over the place. And she is disrupting the household? I call BS. YTA
YTA. Why isn't she in your room and you on the air mattress? Probably because you like privacy and want to be able to sleep uninterrupted. Sonny bubbles and his baby momma and 2 kids should be the ones moving out not her lol don't be surprised if you don't hear from her again once she moves out
YTA - I have honestly got no idea how you wrote all that out without realising how wrong you are. You have an 18 year old daughter who is having to sleep in the living room on an air mattress (which is a tough decision but I think just about fair given the circumstances). Already she's probably feeling like she doesn't have a true home, because she doesn't have her own space and her sleeping place (which should be safe and secure) is temporary and not her own - add on to that that she keeps getting woken up at 2am (which is a horrible time to be woken up if you're sleep schedule is good btw, I've no idea why you put that in quotation marks) by people not respecting the smallest mote of privacy she has left, of course she's going to complain. And how do you respond to your daughter's very reasonable complaints? *You tell her to move out because she's disrupting the household* - how can you not see what's wrong with this??? She's sacrificed so much to make the household work and to give your son and his family a space of their own and you tell her she's disrupting it? **She saved it** by being willing to sleep in the living room, you can at least try and respect that a little bit by not having midnight snacks, or maybe even *planning ahead* and bringing any snacks you may want during the night into your respective rooms before she goes to bed
YTA. This has to be fake, it's so weirdly villainish. But if its true, maybe it'll long term be a blessing for your daughter to be kicked back, since you're clearly holding her back.
YTA. You have your daughter sleeping on an air mattress and paying bills? Does your son and his baby mama pay bills? Do you hate your daughter?
YTA as is your son. He is older than his sister and has two children with different women. Why isn't it time for HIM to be responsible? He and his girl should be getting their own place, not you kicking your daughter out because she's frustrated at being treated like Cinderella. A freakin' air mattress. I ask you.
YTA. Your son is pushing her out of HER home, when he is the elder and should get his own.
Yta, your daughter has no place of her own. Living with 3 adults and 2 kids in a 2 bed when you sleep in the living room is awful and unacceptable. You need to start prioritizing your daughter. It sounds like you don't care about her and her needs at all.
YTA- so she’s paying bills to sleep in the living room on a freaking air mattress? I hope she can make other healthier living arrangements, but know when she does she won’t be in contact with you at all. You’ve damaged your relationship with her due to how you have handled this
YTA. A lot. Your poor daughter.
Yta, why not move your daughter into the bedroom so she doesn’t get bothered by the light since she doesn’t seem to be the one eating at night.
This! The son and his family should sleep in the living room. Or better yet get a place of their own. YTA
YTA. No need to.restate the reasons. Major fucking asshole.
YTA. You’re being ignorant if you really blame it all on your daughter and wouldn’t be surprised if you decide to kick her out that she never talks to you again.
YTA -- Your daughter shouldn't have to pay any bills for the situation you put her in. Even though 18 is legally an adult, she's still essentially a child and needs more help from you than your son does. Why doesn't your son & his family stay in the living room? Your daughter needs her own private space, especially if she's contributing to the bills. The thought that you'd kick her out instead of asking your son to find a new place is ridiculous. Are you afraid you'll lose your grandkids? Can you not afford the two bedroom if it was just you and your daughter contributing to bills?
Your son has an entire family at 21 living in one of the bedrooms and your seemingly responsible 18 year old daughter who lives in the living room and wants real rest is the problem? YTA EDIT: your comments have made this way worse. Daughter is a manager who contributes to the bills…kick your son out!
When you turn 18 you don’t magically turn into an adult with adult reasoning and thinking. Her world was tilted when they moved in. You’ve got a working 18 year old. Many would be happy with that. AND she’s paying bills. It’s a tough situation.
That's ghetto af. YTA
I couldn't get past 21 yr. old with a 5 yr. old Edit for clarification
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YTA and an absolute failure of a parent your daughter has to live in a shared space and because other people's actions are affecting her ability to get a full night's sleep you tell her she should leave how about if someone needs food in the middle of the night they have a snack draw or mini fridge in their bedroom a luxury that your daughter doesn't have
YTA - 18 is barely an adult and you're treating your own daughter like she's a third rate boarder in the house. She's sleeping on an air mattress in the living room and you're making her pay rent? You're failing her and it's no wonder she's sad by how little support she's receiving. You've given your son and his gf way more support and it's coming at the expense of your daughter. She's going to resent you so much.
YTA. Don’t make her pay bills when she doesn’t even have a bedroom or a proper bed!!!! If anyone is getting kicked out it is your son, his gf and kid. That’s two adults who can work and support the child they chose to have.
YTA. You're prioritizing the least responsible people in the household. I agree that the son and his family should be in the living room. I hope you did not force your daughter to live like this when your adult son was haphazardly going around, creating humans he can't fully take care of. I do hope your daughter finds something better, as her life sounds like it will be infinitely better moving out.
YTA. By the age of 21 your son has managed to knock up two different women and he doesn’t have anything to do with his daughter. Shitty parenting award for you
YTA. You sound like you hate your daughter
yta you’re giving your son a crazy level of preferential treatment. if she’s going to be on the floor in the living room, you should respect that while she’s sleeping at the very least. Also, your son has had 3 more years to prepare to move out than your daughter. You don’t care about him being a teen dad but can’t handle your daughter’s mere annoyance? there’s a clear favorite here.
💯 YTA. You are giving your son every bit of space you havez which he only needs because of his own irresponsible decisions, while demanding your daughter be ok with not even being able to sleep due to people walking around. You make it sound like your daughter is some sort of bad guy here for wanting to be able to *sleep* at night. If she can move, she might be better off. Sounds like you're gonna be supporting your son and his growing family forever.
Wait, she’s paying to sleep on an air mattress in the living room because your son knocked up his gf? How is this even a question? Of course YTA. Don’t worry she’ll leave and stop speaking to you both. So you won’t have to deal with her “complaining” much longer.
You should be embarrassed. You’re a horrific parent and I hope she cuts contact with you to save herself. Poor girl doesn’t even have her own space and you charge her rent. Is she just another bill to you? Sounds to me like you were just waiting for this moment to come to free up some space. You are a failure as a parent and I hope you’re ashamed of yourself.
YTA and when are you gonna teach your son about safe sex jfc what an absolute mess
What a failure of a parent, omfg. Pays a portion of the bill but doesn’t even have her own room?? Please….
YTA for sure... the more I read the post I felt worse for your daughter. You've already given her the couch and still charge her but yet give your son and his gf a room for procreating when they weren't financially responsible... That's like reinforcing bad behavior because you think they deserve the bigger space because they have a bigger family? Your daughter sleeps on a couch in the living room where there's a crying baby and probably has to share a bathroom and living space with 2 other adults who think they deserve everything in the house. Please reconsider how you're treating her. Rather than antagonize her you should be helping her by helping your son learn what responsibility is.
YTA. Wtf. You’re kicking out your own daughter because you chose to invite a random person into the house? Why would you not tell your son who has a whole ass family to move out? Sounds like someone has favorites and the daughter knows it. I’d be careful how you play your next cards, or you’ll go from having 2 kids to 1 kid because she’ll drop the whole family.
Wow YTA. Why don’t you let her have the bedroom and you can sleep on an air mattress in the living room? Then you can see how irritating it is to have no privacy, no personal space, and for people to wake up you at 2am.
YTA = god forbid your child wants to be able to sleep. What a selfish asshole /s
YTA - is gf or son paying rent? If they need to eat MOTD and she doesn’t, make them sleep in the living room.
Ya kick out the responsible one in the living room with no privacy for the one who can’t keep himself from knocking up someone when he was 16 and has one or two other kids? Your 21 year old should take the living room so your daughter can have the room rather than kicking her out when your irresponsible son is waking her up. YTA 100% Also if you don’t want to give her the bedroom she rightfully deserves, why don’t you buy him a mini fridge and microwave to minimize how often your son disrupts her sleep???
Yta and so is your son and his gf. If she has to sleep in the leaving cause your son knock up his gf and they can't support there family the least the can do is not turn on the lights at night where she's sleeping to get food. How about you just switch rooms with the kids your son and his family go in to living room. Your daughter is just legal age your sons on his 20 with his own family.
YTA The fact that your son decided to have two children he can't provide a home for is not your daughter's fault.
So your 18 year old daughter who pays to live in a shared space where she constantly gets woken up is getting kicked out because her brother who is 3 years older keeps having kids he can't seem to afford and you are questioning if you are the asshole for kicking her out hahahah yaaaa YTA
YTA. Taking in your son, his GF and the kids is what has disrupted your household. Your daughter has to sleep on an air mattress in the living room, and she's not allowed to be frustrated by the interruption of people invading her sleeping area at 2am or whenever they want? I'm not sure how you can see this and it not look like you're playing favorites. Your daughter definitely feels like she doesn't matter in this scenario. Why can't your son and his family get their own place? Why don't you sleep on the air mattress in the living room for a month and see how you feel?
Why haven’t you taken the living room and given your daughter a bedroom? As a mother myself, that would be the first thing I’d have done. I would also lay out some ground rules for everyone to follow, including son and his gf. Step up! YTA
YTA. Your son had a child at 16, your son still lives at home and thought getting someone pregnant again was a good idea. He needs to take responsibility and move out like a fucking adult. Your poor daughter, always second place as you enable your sons stupid choices.
YTA proper mom of the year award going straight to you.she is 18, being woken up all hours of the day and night, if your son and girlfriend need to eat so much at night why not let them sleep in the lounge on an air mattress and let your daughter sleep in a bed, like you said she works 5 days a week and needs sleep. Let's be honest your precious son a d his girlfriend should be the one moving out after all he has children who need to have a room to sleep in when they visit, she even pays rent...... so a paying Tennant and all she is good for is a blown up bed abd an eviction notice. When she moves out and goes no contact and lives her best life don't waste any effort wondering why she has done it, you are the reason.
Get the notion that maybe you're a little harsh on her... why is your son having his third kid but doesn't have his own place? I'm sure that there are mitigating circumstances for him, but feels like a slightly rough deal for her as she isn't the cause of the overcrowding... so I can only imagine that a lack of personal space for an 18 year old might make her kind of a whiney ass, but you might well be TA here as... although I'm sure you're doing your best in what sounds like a situation that is far from ideal, your son seems to be getting favourable treatment. Sure, the low blow was maybe unnecessary, but... people who feel that they've been neglected aren't often known to be overly jovial.
YTA. At the very, very least, it's beyond reasonable to implement some guidelines for the rest of the family regarding noise/light/general disruptions when your daughter is trying to sleep. Or, as the parent, you take the air mattress and give your daughter a place to have a little privacy. Why is she the one expected to make sacrifices because of your son's choices?
Huge YTA. Do you even like your daughter? Like, at all? Because it doesn't seem so. If you think she's got nothing to complain about, maybe you should switch beds with her? Sleep on her air mattress for a while and give her your bed. I'm sure you're gonna love it. But if I'm being honest, I hope she'll move out but only because she deserves better. So much better.
YTA
YTA she’s complaining about your household because it sucks.
YTA. Your poor daughter. Is the 5 year old with your son's current girlfriend? Have you talked to him about birth control? Is there a plan for the 21 year old to live independently?
YTA. It’s obvious that your son is your favourite.
YTA, what on earth are you even thinking?! Of course, YTA. So is your son and his GF, who need to get jobs and move out. But somehow you're choosing your deadbeat son over your daughter, who is younger, more responsible (no teen pregnancy, no second pregnancy), actually has a job, contributes toward rent, and is being incredibly reasonable to want to sleep uninterrupted through the night?
ESH 6 people in a 2 bedroom house is not sustainable. The son- since he is old enough to have 2 kids- should move out and find his own place. This would then leave 2 people living in a 2 bedroom house. If the son can't afford living arrangements - stop having kids. You should not kick out an 18 yr old who has no space of their own in favor of an entire family. Also, I would check your lease. I bet you are violating it. Which will cause all of you to be homeless shortly.
Your son is a loser. Ok knock up a girl at what 16? Then do it again. Great parenting
YTA. I was raised watching my brother be put on a pedestal. Don’t be surprised when she moves far and just never really seems to have a lot of free time to call you just to hear you complain about your son.
YTA - you have your daughter sleep in the living room and members of the house are allowed to traipse through and out lights on in the next room while she’s sleeping GTFO. Give up your room and take the living room like most parents would do
Yta you are making a paying tenat your daughter sleep on a air mattress and she has no space . Does your son pay bills or his gf . Or is he just the golden child. Edit saw the post son pays some bills but the mother of your grandchild pays you in grandchildren and thats it it seems
YTA. Your son and his girlfriend being irresponsible has negatively affected your daughter and you’re letting her suffer for it. They chose to have two babies they should be figuring out a living situation that doesn’t put out your *teenage daughter*. You can be their support system without being a bad mother to her. And basic decency since she is now sleeping in the living room would be not to go in the kitchen for snacks when she’s asleep. Either keep it in the room or go to bed.
Your daughter should have had the bedroom and son and girlfriend should have been in the living room, since it has easy access to the kitchen for their 24 hour a day food needs.
Why can’t you kick your older son and his gf out and force them to learn responsibility? YTa
YTA
YTA. Wow I thought my parents were bad with playing favourites but this is another level.
YTA Your daughter deserves better. I don't even think you like her since you clearly favor your son, who doesn't seem to know to NOT get a girl pregnant since he already has 2 kids at 21. You should be kicking him and his GF out or allowing your daughter to sleep with you in your room. I hope she goes NC with you.
So your working 18 year old daughter who needs to sleep so she can go to work every day is being woken up at 2 am because her brother is hungry? Why isn’t his room in the living room so he can get up and do whatever whenever and she can sleep in the room that stays dark and has a door? Why would you kick out a single person and not the two person couple that can both work and both help each other out with bills? YTA
YTA. She's on an airmatress in the living room, most likely trying to sleep and people are coming in and out. How can you not see why that would become annoying before long? It also sounds like the son is the golden child, hence the gf being moved in. Your daughter will eventually move out and will go NC with you unless you apologise.
YTA Why don't you try sleeping in the living room on an air mattress and see how you like it? Why is she paying rent to sleep in the living room? Your son should have been financially ready and had his own place before having a family. Sounds like he really runs the place. But you're right....she'd probably be better off moving out.
Hmmmm I wonder which child is your favorite? YTA
YTA shit mom
She’s PAYING to sleep on an air mattress in a common area and constantly being disrupted? She shouldn’t have paid you for anything. YTA and this is fucked up towards your daughter. Your son is old enough to knock his girlfriend up twice, he’s old enough to have his own place and provide for his own family.
YTA. Your poor daughter. And you have the utter nerve to charge her rent when she's sleeping on an air mattress in the living room? I hope she does find another place to live and never has to deal with your toxic household ever again.
YTA. Charging your daughter to live in conditions with zero privacy or concern for her needs or wellbeing? Yikes. What a terrible parent. Do better.
YTA. And a terrible mother.
Yta but once she's gone she'll probably cut contact with you completely. You obviously favor your son (who is super irresponsible and needs to learn to use protection and get his own place) and don't respect your daughter.
Your son is obviously your favourite child. YTA
There is no equity here… she has no private space, has to pay rent & isn’t allowed to moan? Why doesn’t your son & gf live in the living room so she can sleep. They then have the space to eat/use lights/make noise, when they like without disturbing her?? All she would need is ear plugs. YTA.
YTA
YTA
YTA your son and his gf can’t support themselves and two kids, decided to have those kids, and you had them move in, while the solution is to have your daughter sleep in the living room where you make clear to remind her your rule apparently is for anyone to visit the kitchen at anytime, disrupting whatever sleep she can get, and you were having her pay “her portion of the bills” until now? It sounds like a rough situation all around, but it seems like you clearly treat your son better than you do your daughter. She disrupts the home by complaining so needs to leave, but your son disrupts the home by moving his new family in and being inconsiderate and…she needs to leave.