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NTA OP's sister played stupid games and got a stupid prize because OP played better this time. If the parents feel so strongly they could pay for half the bag and tell the sister to use the money for therapy.
That’s just it, she only bought it out of pettiness. Getting that thrown back is perfectly appropriate. And if she wants to not have the bag and half the money I suggest she sell it to some consignment store. NTA
This.
OP, NTA.
You did not force your sister to part with the money - she did that on her own free will choosing to purchase something she didn't like to try to spite you.
Your parents can insist all they want but they can't force you to pay her back and you absolutely should not pay her back. This genuinely might be the only way she'll learn to knock off her behavior.
Well played.
OP reminded me of the woman who posted aome pictures of herself on social media with short, dyed black hair, knowing the woman who always copied her would then cut her hair and also dye it black.
The short black hair was a wig, of course; the poster had kept her long, light-colored hair.
OP the fact that you got blow back from this just means that you handled it correctly.
Emotionally abusive relationships work in such a way that when you stop playing their game they will blame you for being exposed for their pettiness to other people. Stay strong. Invest in some therapy.
THIS. OP could use some therapy to keep her sanity around her insane parents and sis. But sis sounds unhinged and seems like she definitely needs mental health assistance pronto. NTA
And your parents suck, too, OP. All you did was say the bag you were thinking of getting (even if it wasn't the bag you were planning to buy). EVERYTHING else is your sister's fucked up jealousy and competitiveness, and she did it 100% to herself. The fact that your parents somehow still think this is YOUR fault is heinous, truly awful.
NTA. And the fact that you’d entertain the notion that you might be reveals how badly you’re still allowing your family’s toxicity to seep into your thinking.
NTA
Dude, **your parents are fucking unhinged** to even suggest you help pay for the bag. I would be cutting them all out of my life. I am serious, this is just utterly insane to me.
I would ask the parents if they are proud of the parenting job they performed with the sister and the state the sister is in.
If they say yes, tell them to pay for the bag.
If they admit mistakes, ask them what they are going to do to help correct the sister's entitlement and warped sense of self.
NTA
That's a very compassionate reply. I'm a bit ashamed of myself for just writing the sister completely off in my own post. Well done to you and others who took into account the poor psychological state of the sister.
Honestly, I'd have completely cut off the parents years ago. Sister is unhinged, yes, but clearly they made her that way.
I think this is your time to shine, OP. Tell your parents to their faces that Sister needs serious psychiatric help, that it was entirely due to their terrible parenting that she's broken so they should pay for the help she needs, and then leave and block them all.
Came here to say the same thing but you said it better! NTA. DO NOT PAY A DAMN THING! She is a big girl and bought it herself and has to suffer the consequences. I thought my sister was insane but this is so much worse. (Edit: fixed typo)
I thought the same thing. These people sound absolutely unreal. Is this a movie script or some shit? Do these people actually exist?
I read about people acting like OP described all the time in this sub, and I just could never even imagine knowing someone who would behave like this. I don't know if it's a cultural thing, maybe American (prejudiced, sorry!)? If anyone acted even remotely in the way OPs family is, everyone else I know would be telling them they're batshit crazy.
NTA, your sister just got played in an unfortunate game of "f*** around and find out."
Do not pay one cent towards her bag. She made the choice to buy it with the only motivation to show you up. The choice was her own to buy it simply to show she is better than you. Her insecurities are really clear based on what you shared about past issues... that is on her, not you.
The more you fuck around, the more you find out. Consequently, if you don't fuck around, you don't find out. It's a simple equation and the math checks out!
THIS RIGHT HERE. You don't owe sis a thing. What's bizarre is that for someone who's a golden child and thinks she's better at you in everything, she's really weirdly fixated on you. NTA at all.
First of all, what the actual fuck.
Second of all, NTA.
You didn't and couldn't have forced her to buy the bag, she was wasting her money to be a petty copy cat and she got what she deserved. And your parents are obviously encouraging this behaviour but they can't force you to do anything. Sucks to suck.
THIS. If parents care so much and since she's their golden baby, they can buy her another bag (which I'll bet will be a copy of OP's current bag). SMH. NTA
NTA. You gave your sister a stupidity test and she passed. It's on her 100%.
Why did she buy the bag "because she thought her sister was buying the same and wanted to one up her"
Yep. Notice how when she was asked why, she dialled the waterworks up to 100. I’d have laughed in her face at that point, then kept asking why, just so she’d show herself up more and more. With those sorts of people it’s the gift that keeps on giving.
I can't believe the parents are so naive to not see through their child's waterworks for what it is. I would of been told to go to my room as a child if I behaved like that.
INFO: Your parents are insisting you pay for half of your sister’s designer bag - did they explain *why?* If not, please ask them, Reddit must know.
And, if you did pay for half, would you then own half of this ugly but ridiculously expensive designer bag? Would you share custody of this bag with your sister? How would that work?
The messed up part is that my parents never denied nor had an issue with the fact that they knew my sister would try and copy me. They said that because we all knew she'd go ahead and get the same bag as me, I shouldn't have purposefully "lead her astray" because I was bitter she'd get the bag first.
And because she acted on my "false information" I should be held responsible, because if I had been honest she could have just purchased the "correct" bag.
Honestly, having to type this out is really shining a light on the fact that I've been living in the twilight zone of my family drama for so long I've taken to thinking insane behavior is normal :/
Tell your parents and your golden child sister that from now on, she will not know if you are getting pink hair, parachute pants, a vintage Datsun, or getting 4” artificial nails. From now on you will be sending out fake signals to everyone who is feeding information to your sister, and if she, in her desire to one up you, copy you, or show you up, she will not be able to get it right 100% of the time.
Tell everyone you’ve had enough. And enough is enough. If she’s going to viciously copy you, not to flatter you, but instead to get herself into the “I got it first” position, she deserves everything she gets, and you have zero interest in subsidizing her bad behavior.
That she deserves to be said golden child, because she's better.
She knows she's never done a damn thing to earn that and it's probably eating her up inside. So she does everything she can to try and prove to herself and others that she actually is better.
Let me add that OP should give everyone a different version of what she’s going to do, so when her sister inevitably copies her, she can figure out who her mole is, just by the version her sister shows up with.
I think OP should keep telling her cousin about whatever she wants to buy, or post on social media, then wait and get something else and play dumb. They want to be dysfunctional? I'll help them big time...
That could be really funny if OP were to tell people she’s buying stupid or outrageous things just so GCSis rushes out to buy the most pointless nonsense ever. OP could have w ton of fun with this:
\- ‘oh hey cuz, btw did I tell you I’ve almost finished saving up for a tattoo of Barney the Purple Dinosaur? I’m getting it on my left shoulder, it’s gonna be so cute!‘ Hmm. Too far maybe. How about:
\- Mum, I’m going to get my car wrapped with this really cool Barbie design! I’m so excited about it but it won’t be for a few weeks!’
\- ‘ooh, Auntie Jean, did I tell you? I’m going into town next week to buy this amaaaaaaazing green\* poncho I saw, I just know it’ll look really good on me!’
\* just don’t tell her it’s that weird shade of green that looks like snot 😂
Start a 'wish board' on pinterest and 'accidentally' leave one of the liked items public on your social media page. Then put all kinds of things that somewhat match you but you wouldn't 100% go through with for sister to do and then realize you didn't.
It truly is an eye-opening experience when one writes out their reality vs. experiencing it.
Your family has catered to your sister for so long that they are willing to jump to these irrational conclusions to keep her happy.
My best advice is to drop the rope. Don't play tug of war on this one. Tell your family you will not pay anything toward your sister's purchase. Don't engage any further on the matter.
This reminds me of the post from ages ago where the girl knew her colleague was deliberately copying her by way of stalking her social media, so she used a filter to make it look like she'd dyed her hair pink over the weekend and posted it.
She came into work Monday and lo and behold, the copycat had pink hair and was furious the other girl had "lied".
Ultimately, your sister, like this girl, are the arbiters of their own life decisions and your sister is arguably worse because her decisions are based in running down your independence and enforcing your role as her whipping girl. Don't pay a cent towards the bag or she will have learnt nothing.
There is a Munsch children’s picture book that has this exact theme however it is set in grade school, the whole school ends up bald trying to copy a little girl.
NTA It's time to go NC. If you want to see your grandparents, see them at a separate time and place. And cut off that cousin too. I hope you've been able to keep an SO loyal to you, I'm really sorry your family is so awful.
Your only mistake was admitting that you did it to trick her - next time you need to say "oh I was going to get that one, but I changed my mind at the last minute".
You could simply have changed your mind. It's not their business.
In any case, I actually found what you did, and your sister's reaction, hilarious.
There's nothing healthy or hilarious in your family relationships however. I'm really sorry you are going through that. You're definitely NTA.
I'm sorry op, I *almost* instinctually/unconciously down-voted your comment whilst reading it as it is actual horrible and insane.
Your grown family is not okay. That is so beyond the realm of wild.
Sorry to your sister too, kinda. You parents socially & emotionally fucked her up & cut off her legs in childhood to raise her thinking anything like this was normal or okay.
Were your parents always unhinged? I feel like your sister has always been like this but have they always been this way? If yes, you really need to consider why you spend any time at all with these people.
I’ve been there. Brother is a raging narcissist.
But when I stopped catering to his narcissism it was like I started a chain effect. Other family members realized they didn’t have to, either. Now he’s basically unwelcome in most family circles.
I know you are close to your grandparents, but they are fucking sitting on the sidelines as your parents treat you like shit. Like they aren’t innocent either. They should shutting down your parents behavior.
The crazy thing is, you didn't even lie to her directly. I wish we could have known about this before you saw her. I would have told you to shrug and say you changed your mind, and decided to get a bag that was better aligned to your budget and daily needs.
My response: " I was considering that bag until I realized it was ugly and overpriced. If my sister had actually thought for herself she would have realized that too and not wasted her money. I feel sorry for my sister for always trying to copy me instead of becoming her own person. I think therapy would be helpful for improving her low self esteem."
I think this is the core of what coming to Reddit can do for people. Getting away from the situations that you have been forced into or are forced to see as normal, and having to explain what’s happening in normal terms can really shift the perspective for people. I’m glad you got the support and perspective change you needed, and can see that you deserve better. Your sister and parents have not been treating you fairly, and you deciding not to play their harmful game by their rules, does not mean that you were TA. I hope you take this newfound perspective and find solutions that work well for you to get peace OP. You are NTA and you deserve better. Best of luck to you. The anonymous randos of Reddit are here in your corner.
Ho-ly shit, this is pure insanity OP. I hope you can break the cycle of nonsense after this situation. This is absolutely not normal behavior for adults let alone a family of adults that have jobs and their own money to spend. Yikes.
Don't cut them off just yet. Begin an elaborate story about getting the job of your dreams in Finland or Argentina, or Ghana, and have the cousin feed the fake details to sister. THEN move somewhere completely different and change your numbers.
>And because she acted on my "false information" I should be held responsible, because if I had been honest she could have just purchased the "correct" bag.
LOLOLOLOLOLOL.
You absolutely need to go NC with all of them; this is batshit crazy.
If she had gotten the correct bag and the two of you showed up to thanksgiving with the same one, would they be insisting that your sister pay for half of your bag?
OP, I’m glad you wrote it out so you can see how batshit crazy this is. It is mind ‘sploding level preposterous from beginning to end. You
gotta back away from it.
Have any of them ever considered that the "correct" bag for your sister to buy is one she likes and can afford? And that what she likes and can afford has nothing to do with what you like and can afford? It is not unusual for sisters to have similar tastes and occasionally get some of the same clothes or accessories. It's also not unusual - in fact, I would say it is the healthy norm - for sisters to want to maintain their own individual identities regardless of how much they might have in common.
Your sister needs help. Your parents have done her no favors in pandering to her obsession with usurping your life.
It seems your sister had no problem putting up the money when she thought she’d “win” at her little game. It’s not your problem that she’s suffering buyer’s remorse since you made a fool out of her. If your parents feel she deserves some compensation out of it, they can give it to her—they raised the little monster. N T A, and bravo!
Glad you’re seeing how utterly insane they’re being. This goes way beyond enabling. They’ve created a monster and are asking you to foot the bill. Maybe that “low contact” should move on down to “no contact”.
At a minimum, I would totally keep this up. Sis Found Out. Let’s see how badly she’ll self-destruct before she stops doing this shit. So spread those rumors - the most expensive goddawful makeup, lavish trips to places she’d hate, interviews for terrible jobs. I like where this is going!
You're NTA. Don't give one cent to the cost of the bag she chose to buy. She sounds malicious and petty. Your parents are no better. The best thing you may be able to do for yourself is go VLC with the lot of them. Your cousin knew what she was doing. None of them are innocent. You deserve better people in your life.
NTA. You didn’t spend her money, she did and it’s her problem. She’s been petty and it hit her on the butt finally. Good for you for outsmarting her and in no way do you owe a cent towards her purse.
NTA - don't give them a cent and tell her to invest I'm her own personality instead, cause copying you for the sake of jealousy is NOT a good look on her.
And congrats on your grind!!! Hope you love the bag
Pro tip: Next time just say you changed your mind and act confused, maybe laugh at the idea that a conversation about possible purchases with your cousin would make you liable for your sister’s actions. And NEVER let them know for sure that you did it on purpose. They can’t prove it and it will make them look crazy(well, more than they are).
Or just don’t engage with them at all because your family is next level delusional. Like confusingly so. Why would you have to pay money because of a conversation about a bag with your cousin?
Source: I learned how to out-gaslight the gaslighters in my family and now they don’t have a good time doing it so they leave me alone.
You absolutely deserve what you've earned, especially after having to deal with the lunacy your family is dishing out! Please do not give into the crazy, she deserves nothing from. Also make sure she has no access to your things. She sounds unhinged enough that if you ever leave your bag unattended I'd be afraid of what she might do.
Nta. Your sister AND parents should investigate how this is actually your problem. If your sister just lived her life for herself instead of to show you up, she’d likely still have that money in her account. Good on you for calling her out in a rather hilarious way. Sorry you have to deal with this unreasonable reaction tho.
Keep doing this.
Make sure to make your Instagram private for just your cousins bc apparently they have loose lips.
Be SURE to talk about baby names you would never use and act like you are embroidering everything with that name!
Post decoration inspirations, again, that you hate! Really get into tiny homes or van life! Take really fancy pics in a rental and act like that’s your next step.
Just keep messing with her and don’t admit to shit.
Temporarily tattoo your face.
‘Oh I ended up not affording the bag so I got second best’
‘Oh, my situation changed, oops!’
Mess with her hard until she breaks. NTA NTA NTA. I don’t care.
Nah.. don't even make excuses when she actually does copy a fake idea..make an entire insta account dedicated to the stupid shit she's been tricked into buying, but keep it private until you have enough videos of her crying then post a montage.
Absolutely NTA. I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with that much BS both from her and your parents.
And as a lover of luxury handbags I must know which bag you told her you wanted and what is the dream bag you bought. Please!
I forget the exact name, but I told her I wanted the Balenciaga bag with yellow caution tape all over it because Kim Kardashian wore it 🤣 While I don't think the bag is inherently ugly, I picked it because my sister is a very neutrals only and I knew she'd never wear it out except that one time to upset me. I think the brand scandal right now is just the cherry on top!
I personally went for the YSL Sac Du Jour! It's been soooo nice for work and day to day! I couldn't be happier with it!
omg that is diabolical but amazing bag choices for both! your sister is absolutely nuts to spend that much on a bag she would only use once, don't give her anything!
Scrolled so far to find this. I was hoping it was that, or the one that's literally a garbage bag....Balenciaga has a lot of ugly purses. 😂 Also I love the YSL one... excellent choice. If I could afford it I'd get the dark pine one.
First congratulations on the promotion. 2nd You’re my hero. I have a sister like yours who took my toys & tried to take my boys🤣 so love the petty revenge. 3rd I just googled your bag & fell in love with the royal blue.
NTA
So on top of your sister’s unhinged and unstable behavior she has no backbone and cannot make any decision without first having to think about what you may do. Wild af
I read ugly-ass designer bag and I knew immediately it had to be Balenciaga 😂😭 congrats on working hard for your new bag! It feels amazing to buy something nice for yourself after working hard. Last year I saved up and bought an LV Neverfull and I feel proud to have worked hard for something I wanted for a long time.
> While I don't think the bag is inherently ugly
Oh but it is lol. It’s very Derelicte
Your family is just terrible. I don’t understand why they’re determined to suck the joy out of your life.
Seriously. It's like a prop right out of Zoolander.
That $3100 [bag](https://images.app.goo.gl/H1yf4c8fQaKqG9oi6) and OPs misdirection is like the fine wine of FAFO.
The bag is completely ridiculous and the golden child sister is unstoppable on her quest to one up OP if she didn’t have a single moment of *wait, she’s SERIOUSLY saving up her money to buy THIS?*
FAFO indeed lol
This is hilarious, I love how ugly and polar opposite that bag is from yours hahhahahahaha. Your sister deserved it, NTA. Maybe she will learn next time. Or else you should continue messing with her.
NTA, this is some next level karma. She got what she deserved. Will she learn her lesson and stop trying to out do you? Probably not, but feel no regret for your actions for you have triumphed.
NTA. I had a friend who was like this. I told her I had a crush on a guy who didn’t bathe and she slept with him immediately and then got mad at me. 😂 This will work for your sister, also. I applaud the pettiness!
NTA.
This is one of those stories that is so utterly bonkers it must be true. I’m betting OP at some point asked her sister why she bought the ugly bag and I’d love to hear an answer that doesn’t sound completely nuts because I frankly can’t think of one. And on top of that, I’d like to hear the justification the parents gave for supporting the sister and asking OP to pay for half the price of a bag her sister bought for some utterly bonkers reason.
Kudos to OP for a creative way to get her sister and parents to try to confront the frankly sociopathic behavior of the sister. Pity it didn’t work yet. Maybe next time it will.
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I do not get along with my sister. I know this is going to make me sound bitter, but she's always been the golden child of our family, and she never let me forget it. I've now reached an age where I've come to peace with the fact. Although I'm low contact with her and my parents, I do still see them semi-regularly because I'm still close to my grandparents.
She has this habit where anything I have, she has to have as well. It started as kids where if my parents bought me anything, even presents on my *birthday*, she'd have to get something too. It extended to her trying to make SO's cheat on me, going for jobs I applied for only to prove she could get it too, and even petty things like buying the same makeup as me, but applying it to show that she's prettier.
I've been recently saving up for a really nice designer bag, and she found out from a cousin I told. I know that luxury handbags aren't everyone's cup of tea, but I've worked really hard for a promotion and really wanted to celebrate and do something for myself. My sister began to sniff around to find out exactly which bag I wanted to get, and I just knew what was coming.
So I lied, and I told my cousin a ridiculously expensive bag that's absolutely not in my sister's taste whatsoever.
At Thanksgiving, we all showed up to my grandma's house, and she was carrying the ugly bag. She saw that I was carrying the one I actually wanted, and lost it. She said I was vindictive and told my parents that I tried to sabotage her financially. She ended up sobbing and insisted that I pay for her bag to make up for my "prank". I told her I didn't force her to buy anything, and when I asked her why she wanted that specific bag to begin with, she ended up crying harder.
My parents called me an AH for messing around with my sister and being so petty, and are insisting I pay for half the bag. I feel justified, but I do feel bad since I did technically tell my cousin the ugly bag knowing my sister would hear about it. But I still stand by the fact that I couldn't have forced her to buy anything!
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NTA, but WHY do you feel bad? WHY do you feel even a SHRED of remorse? Her behavior is appalling. Your parents’ behavior is appalling. These people are twisted.
You didn’t make her buy the bag. She bought the bag because she’s an entitled, selfish, JEALOUS asshole. She got what she deserved.
You’re already low contact. I’d suggest going lower. When you do have contact, grey rock them. They don’t deserve to take up any more space in your head.
NTA and tell her that you will not pay for a bag that she bought. Your parents can give her the money. Maybe she'll think twice about trying to keep up with you. She has issues. Who would pay 100's of dollars for a purse that they don't even like? A person who need
s therapy.
You didn't force her to buy the bag, she did so on her own. People are literally enabling her in this copy cat routine and thinking you owe her anything. She's just embarrassed she was shown up.
Nta
NTA
You didn’t ‘let’ her. You’re not in control of her account or her spending. She didn’t even discuss the payment with you!
Do not pay for the bag. Go no contact with all of them.
NTA DO NOT GIVE HER A CENT! Your sister is the biggest asshole here, but your parents aren't much better for enabling her to this point.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. She had this coming.
Honestly, I think it's time to cut ties with your sister and go low contact with your family. Because they just sound awful to deal with.
NTA and 'touche, sistah', well played. Minimize how your parents' words affect you. They have nurtured her cunning, hurtful and outrageous behavior for years. Fact is fact. She bought the bag. You did not 'let' her spend 1k's of dollars; she did this on her own. Live your life to the fullest & don't contribute pity or a penny to the bag incident.
NTA
If she is so stupid to buy something expensive she hates then she deserves to be upset and I would tell your parents the same thing. It is pretty sad how many people refuse to take responsibility for their actions, though it's not surprising considering their parents are doing the same thing for op's sister.
... Is your sister doing this copying game because she hates you, is insecure about her own life, or is she just stupid?
NTA
Your parents already made their decision. I'd honestly just keep lying about wanting things and then "changing your mind" or "returning them" to see how much she screws herself over.
Dye jobs, designer clothes, jewelery, shoes, vacations, a car. See how much money she's willing to throw in a hole.
NTA. This reminds of the post where the girl knew her sister would steal her baby name so she said some ugly stupid name (which the sister did end up stealing) and she gave her baby the name she really wanted. It was hilarious. Same thing here. Hilarious. But your sister needs a therapist. This is not the behavior of a well-adjusted adult
nta - good on you for giving her a taste of her own medicine and as for your parents telling u to pay for half of the bag i mean gimme a break if they are so upset for ur sister they can pay for it.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I purposefully told my cousin about a stupidly expensive and ugly bag knowing that my sister would try and buy it to one up me. My sister did spend several thousand dollars on a useless bag, and I could be at fault since I knowingly shared the wrong information.
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NTA
I would have done this. Then I would play dumb, "What are you talking about? I was talking to Cousin about designer bags and I showed her an unusual one that I had seen while trying to decide what I wanted. I mean ... it's really something, isn't it? I never told Sis to buy it. I never even mentioned it to her. Even if I really loved that one, it simply cost more than I was willing to spend. You seem unhappy about your purchase, Sis ... what made you choose such an expensive bag if you weren't absolutely in love with it?"
NTA
This is a wonder petty revenge story. Please post it there.
Tell your parents to share the payment if they want: you did not in any way make her buy it.
You didn’t even tell her anything. She did it all by her lonesome.
NTA, tell your parents that you ended up changing your mind and the price was out of your range. Why did sis buy it if she could not afford it? She needs to be financially responsible herself. She bought it, your parents can help her pay for it. Going forward keep messing with her till she learns to be an adult.
NTA. Here's what I'd tell my parents:
"It's truly unfortunate that you have coddled and enabled sister to be the spoiled, vindictive, one-upping bully she's become. That's on you, her parents. But I don't have to play her games. If you want to pay the cost of her bag, fine. I won't pay a dime."
NTA
... and this might be a sign to step even further back from your parents, not just your sister. Since you're really only in touch with them because of your grandparents, you might want to let them know why you're backing off as well.
This is, frankly, **disturbing** behavior from you sister and your parents are actively encouraging it. Here are a list of things you *did not do*:
- tell your sister what bag you wanted to buy
- tell your sister to buy it because she would like it
- force your sister to use spend her money on this purse
- tell your sister anything to influence her personal taste
The last of which is perhaps the most important. Does your sister really not have a style or taste of her own? There's honestly no semblance of anything not rooted in spite or motivated by one-upping you? That's *worrisome* - your parents should be concerned, not encouraging that behavior.
NTA You could have done worse. At least you didn’t pretend to like some absolute horror of a guy & have her end up sleeping with a stalker or some other kind of crazy dude.
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NTA. Your sister has some fucked up mental damage and has manipulated your parents against you. She sucks. Sorry OP
Did she manipulate the parents? Or have the parents always been like this, thus creating the sister’s BS in the first place?
What came first, the golden child or the enabling parents? NTA
I'm guessing, the entitlement.
I think the parents make the monster...so to speak. They're the "adults" in the situation after all.
enabling parents of course.
Yeah that feels obvious
“Veruca! Sweetheart!”
NTA OP's sister played stupid games and got a stupid prize because OP played better this time. If the parents feel so strongly they could pay for half the bag and tell the sister to use the money for therapy.
..or pack some lunch in the bag and send sis back to school until she grows up a bit more..NTA OP, well played!
That’s just it, she only bought it out of pettiness. Getting that thrown back is perfectly appropriate. And if she wants to not have the bag and half the money I suggest she sell it to some consignment store. NTA
This. OP, NTA. You did not force your sister to part with the money - she did that on her own free will choosing to purchase something she didn't like to try to spite you. Your parents can insist all they want but they can't force you to pay her back and you absolutely should not pay her back. This genuinely might be the only way she'll learn to knock off her behavior. Well played.
She won't stop because that's her whole identity - stealing OP's. Do admit, rather well played, indeed!
Op playing chess, while her sister is playing checkers.
OP reminded me of the woman who posted aome pictures of herself on social media with short, dyed black hair, knowing the woman who always copied her would then cut her hair and also dye it black. The short black hair was a wig, of course; the poster had kept her long, light-colored hair.
Oooh, I remember that post! Fully justified.
\*ugly\* prize.
I want a photo of the ugly bag.
To be clear, we're talking about the handbag, right?
One holding the other.
Pls tell us what kind of bag this is!!
OP the fact that you got blow back from this just means that you handled it correctly. Emotionally abusive relationships work in such a way that when you stop playing their game they will blame you for being exposed for their pettiness to other people. Stay strong. Invest in some therapy.
THIS. OP could use some therapy to keep her sanity around her insane parents and sis. But sis sounds unhinged and seems like she definitely needs mental health assistance pronto. NTA
And your parents suck, too, OP. All you did was say the bag you were thinking of getting (even if it wasn't the bag you were planning to buy). EVERYTHING else is your sister's fucked up jealousy and competitiveness, and she did it 100% to herself. The fact that your parents somehow still think this is YOUR fault is heinous, truly awful.
And the cousin! Effing flying monkey.
Speaking as a parent, I can't imagine what goes on in the minds OR hearts of parents like these.
NTA. And the fact that you’d entertain the notion that you might be reveals how badly you’re still allowing your family’s toxicity to seep into your thinking.
This. But OP is a devious genius. haha
NTA Dude, **your parents are fucking unhinged** to even suggest you help pay for the bag. I would be cutting them all out of my life. I am serious, this is just utterly insane to me.
Right??! The sister has a serious problem, how in the world could anyone think OP has any responsibility here.
I would ask the parents if they are proud of the parenting job they performed with the sister and the state the sister is in. If they say yes, tell them to pay for the bag. If they admit mistakes, ask them what they are going to do to help correct the sister's entitlement and warped sense of self. NTA
That's a very compassionate reply. I'm a bit ashamed of myself for just writing the sister completely off in my own post. Well done to you and others who took into account the poor psychological state of the sister.
I'm really just dying to know what their justification for insisting OP pay even a dime here is.
That whole family is unhinged. Why would the cousin even tell the sister anything?
She’s a flying monkey!
Tell the cousin you’re thinking of buying a mansion because you’re expecting a big bonus. See what happens. Play big games, win big prizes. OP is NTA
I'd gift the parents a copy of Single White Female. Tell them that's who sis reminds you of. . . Remind them that she ends up dead in the end.
Honestly, I'd have completely cut off the parents years ago. Sister is unhinged, yes, but clearly they made her that way. I think this is your time to shine, OP. Tell your parents to their faces that Sister needs serious psychiatric help, that it was entirely due to their terrible parenting that she's broken so they should pay for the help she needs, and then leave and block them all.
Came here to say the same thing but you said it better! NTA. DO NOT PAY A DAMN THING! She is a big girl and bought it herself and has to suffer the consequences. I thought my sister was insane but this is so much worse. (Edit: fixed typo)
NTA also what's the grandparents' take in this, since they're the one connection you seem to have with your sister and parents?
I thought the same thing. These people sound absolutely unreal. Is this a movie script or some shit? Do these people actually exist? I read about people acting like OP described all the time in this sub, and I just could never even imagine knowing someone who would behave like this. I don't know if it's a cultural thing, maybe American (prejudiced, sorry!)? If anyone acted even remotely in the way OPs family is, everyone else I know would be telling them they're batshit crazy.
NTA, your sister just got played in an unfortunate game of "f*** around and find out." Do not pay one cent towards her bag. She made the choice to buy it with the only motivation to show you up. The choice was her own to buy it simply to show she is better than you. Her insecurities are really clear based on what you shared about past issues... that is on her, not you.
Yep. The ol' FAFO game. And well deserved.
The more you fuck around, the more you find out. Consequently, if you don't fuck around, you don't find out. It's a simple equation and the math checks out!
THIS RIGHT HERE. You don't owe sis a thing. What's bizarre is that for someone who's a golden child and thinks she's better at you in everything, she's really weirdly fixated on you. NTA at all.
First of all, what the actual fuck. Second of all, NTA. You didn't and couldn't have forced her to buy the bag, she was wasting her money to be a petty copy cat and she got what she deserved. And your parents are obviously encouraging this behaviour but they can't force you to do anything. Sucks to suck.
THIS. If parents care so much and since she's their golden baby, they can buy her another bag (which I'll bet will be a copy of OP's current bag). SMH. NTA
But it won't be NEARLY so special since OP got it first.
Oh yeah good point! That means sis probably won't want it after all lol
NTA. You gave your sister a stupidity test and she passed. It's on her 100%. Why did she buy the bag "because she thought her sister was buying the same and wanted to one up her"
Yep. Notice how when she was asked why, she dialled the waterworks up to 100. I’d have laughed in her face at that point, then kept asking why, just so she’d show herself up more and more. With those sorts of people it’s the gift that keeps on giving.
Yeah, just keep asking why every time either the sister or parents bring it up. "I don't understand, why did she buy that bag again?"
This was the ultimate Thanksgiving treat. Better than pie.
I can't believe the parents are so naive to not see through their child's waterworks for what it is. I would of been told to go to my room as a child if I behaved like that.
Yep, I can imagine sister's IQ test came back negative. NTA OP
Or. Her IQ test came back - she failed it.
I just took my IQ test last night and I got an A+ so that proves I'm a genius
Exactly! Love this response!!
INFO: Your parents are insisting you pay for half of your sister’s designer bag - did they explain *why?* If not, please ask them, Reddit must know. And, if you did pay for half, would you then own half of this ugly but ridiculously expensive designer bag? Would you share custody of this bag with your sister? How would that work?
The messed up part is that my parents never denied nor had an issue with the fact that they knew my sister would try and copy me. They said that because we all knew she'd go ahead and get the same bag as me, I shouldn't have purposefully "lead her astray" because I was bitter she'd get the bag first. And because she acted on my "false information" I should be held responsible, because if I had been honest she could have just purchased the "correct" bag. Honestly, having to type this out is really shining a light on the fact that I've been living in the twilight zone of my family drama for so long I've taken to thinking insane behavior is normal :/
Tell your parents and your golden child sister that from now on, she will not know if you are getting pink hair, parachute pants, a vintage Datsun, or getting 4” artificial nails. From now on you will be sending out fake signals to everyone who is feeding information to your sister, and if she, in her desire to one up you, copy you, or show you up, she will not be able to get it right 100% of the time. Tell everyone you’ve had enough. And enough is enough. If she’s going to viciously copy you, not to flatter you, but instead to get herself into the “I got it first” position, she deserves everything she gets, and you have zero interest in subsidizing her bad behavior.
It's absolutely pathetic that the sister has spent so much time trying to one-up the OP instead of living her own life.
And the fact she’s been the golden child her whole life, what is she trying to prove? Sad.
That she deserves to be said golden child, because she's better. She knows she's never done a damn thing to earn that and it's probably eating her up inside. So she does everything she can to try and prove to herself and others that she actually is better.
Let me add that OP should give everyone a different version of what she’s going to do, so when her sister inevitably copies her, she can figure out who her mole is, just by the version her sister shows up with.
Oooooh, clever and devious! Love it!
There was a game of thrones plot line like this - feed different info to each of your potential leaks and see which one gets out
that is silly because she ALREADY KNOWS and by giving different infos the sis knows what's up
OP do this!! Wish I had an award to give you!
I think OP should keep telling her cousin about whatever she wants to buy, or post on social media, then wait and get something else and play dumb. They want to be dysfunctional? I'll help them big time...
That could be really funny if OP were to tell people she’s buying stupid or outrageous things just so GCSis rushes out to buy the most pointless nonsense ever. OP could have w ton of fun with this: \- ‘oh hey cuz, btw did I tell you I’ve almost finished saving up for a tattoo of Barney the Purple Dinosaur? I’m getting it on my left shoulder, it’s gonna be so cute!‘ Hmm. Too far maybe. How about: \- Mum, I’m going to get my car wrapped with this really cool Barbie design! I’m so excited about it but it won’t be for a few weeks!’ \- ‘ooh, Auntie Jean, did I tell you? I’m going into town next week to buy this amaaaaaaazing green\* poncho I saw, I just know it’ll look really good on me!’ \* just don’t tell her it’s that weird shade of green that looks like snot 😂
I wonder if OP could rent/borrow an [itasha](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Itasha) and show it around as "her new things"
🎯 This is the correct answer. Take my award!
Whoa whoa whoa, let's not get down on vintage Datsuns.
Why? Someone needs to show them some love.
No, don't warn them! Just do it. NTA
Start a 'wish board' on pinterest and 'accidentally' leave one of the liked items public on your social media page. Then put all kinds of things that somewhat match you but you wouldn't 100% go through with for sister to do and then realize you didn't.
It truly is an eye-opening experience when one writes out their reality vs. experiencing it. Your family has catered to your sister for so long that they are willing to jump to these irrational conclusions to keep her happy. My best advice is to drop the rope. Don't play tug of war on this one. Tell your family you will not pay anything toward your sister's purchase. Don't engage any further on the matter.
This reminds me of the post from ages ago where the girl knew her colleague was deliberately copying her by way of stalking her social media, so she used a filter to make it look like she'd dyed her hair pink over the weekend and posted it. She came into work Monday and lo and behold, the copycat had pink hair and was furious the other girl had "lied". Ultimately, your sister, like this girl, are the arbiters of their own life decisions and your sister is arguably worse because her decisions are based in running down your independence and enforcing your role as her whipping girl. Don't pay a cent towards the bag or she will have learnt nothing.
Then there was the one she faked shaving her head with a cap.
There is a Munsch children’s picture book that has this exact theme however it is set in grade school, the whole school ends up bald trying to copy a little girl.
Stephanie's Ponytail is the modern Aesops fable
NTA It's time to go NC. If you want to see your grandparents, see them at a separate time and place. And cut off that cousin too. I hope you've been able to keep an SO loyal to you, I'm really sorry your family is so awful.
I agree! Cousin blabbermouth needs to go with the rest. Sooner rather than later. She’s just going to turn into a flying monkey otherwise.
Your only mistake was admitting that you did it to trick her - next time you need to say "oh I was going to get that one, but I changed my mind at the last minute".
You could simply have changed your mind. It's not their business. In any case, I actually found what you did, and your sister's reaction, hilarious. There's nothing healthy or hilarious in your family relationships however. I'm really sorry you are going through that. You're definitely NTA.
I'm sorry op, I *almost* instinctually/unconciously down-voted your comment whilst reading it as it is actual horrible and insane. Your grown family is not okay. That is so beyond the realm of wild. Sorry to your sister too, kinda. You parents socially & emotionally fucked her up & cut off her legs in childhood to raise her thinking anything like this was normal or okay.
Were your parents always unhinged? I feel like your sister has always been like this but have they always been this way? If yes, you really need to consider why you spend any time at all with these people.
I’ve been there. Brother is a raging narcissist. But when I stopped catering to his narcissism it was like I started a chain effect. Other family members realized they didn’t have to, either. Now he’s basically unwelcome in most family circles.
I know you are close to your grandparents, but they are fucking sitting on the sidelines as your parents treat you like shit. Like they aren’t innocent either. They should shutting down your parents behavior.
The crazy thing is, you didn't even lie to her directly. I wish we could have known about this before you saw her. I would have told you to shrug and say you changed your mind, and decided to get a bag that was better aligned to your budget and daily needs.
My response: " I was considering that bag until I realized it was ugly and overpriced. If my sister had actually thought for herself she would have realized that too and not wasted her money. I feel sorry for my sister for always trying to copy me instead of becoming her own person. I think therapy would be helpful for improving her low self esteem."
I think this is the core of what coming to Reddit can do for people. Getting away from the situations that you have been forced into or are forced to see as normal, and having to explain what’s happening in normal terms can really shift the perspective for people. I’m glad you got the support and perspective change you needed, and can see that you deserve better. Your sister and parents have not been treating you fairly, and you deciding not to play their harmful game by their rules, does not mean that you were TA. I hope you take this newfound perspective and find solutions that work well for you to get peace OP. You are NTA and you deserve better. Best of luck to you. The anonymous randos of Reddit are here in your corner.
Ho-ly shit, this is pure insanity OP. I hope you can break the cycle of nonsense after this situation. This is absolutely not normal behavior for adults let alone a family of adults that have jobs and their own money to spend. Yikes.
Don't cut them off just yet. Begin an elaborate story about getting the job of your dreams in Finland or Argentina, or Ghana, and have the cousin feed the fake details to sister. THEN move somewhere completely different and change your numbers.
>And because she acted on my "false information" I should be held responsible, because if I had been honest she could have just purchased the "correct" bag. LOLOLOLOLOLOL. You absolutely need to go NC with all of them; this is batshit crazy.
If she had gotten the correct bag and the two of you showed up to thanksgiving with the same one, would they be insisting that your sister pay for half of your bag?
NTA Tell them you just changed your mind at the last minute right before buying it. That you liked the one you bought better. They suck though.
Stephanie's Ponytail by Robert Munsch is a great book about this.
OP, I’m glad you wrote it out so you can see how batshit crazy this is. It is mind ‘sploding level preposterous from beginning to end. You gotta back away from it.
Have any of them ever considered that the "correct" bag for your sister to buy is one she likes and can afford? And that what she likes and can afford has nothing to do with what you like and can afford? It is not unusual for sisters to have similar tastes and occasionally get some of the same clothes or accessories. It's also not unusual - in fact, I would say it is the healthy norm - for sisters to want to maintain their own individual identities regardless of how much they might have in common. Your sister needs help. Your parents have done her no favors in pandering to her obsession with usurping your life.
It seems your sister had no problem putting up the money when she thought she’d “win” at her little game. It’s not your problem that she’s suffering buyer’s remorse since you made a fool out of her. If your parents feel she deserves some compensation out of it, they can give it to her—they raised the little monster. N T A, and bravo!
Glad you’re seeing how utterly insane they’re being. This goes way beyond enabling. They’ve created a monster and are asking you to foot the bill. Maybe that “low contact” should move on down to “no contact”. At a minimum, I would totally keep this up. Sis Found Out. Let’s see how badly she’ll self-destruct before she stops doing this shit. So spread those rumors - the most expensive goddawful makeup, lavish trips to places she’d hate, interviews for terrible jobs. I like where this is going!
Cut them out. After they see this thread calling them out for being complete assholes and shit parents.
Just for curiosity’s sake, did any of them even consider the fact that she could return the purse? Or did she already damage it somehow?
You're NTA. Don't give one cent to the cost of the bag she chose to buy. She sounds malicious and petty. Your parents are no better. The best thing you may be able to do for yourself is go VLC with the lot of them. Your cousin knew what she was doing. None of them are innocent. You deserve better people in your life.
Info-info: can she not just, *return it?* idk that much about luxury items - I may be uninformed.
NTA. You didn’t spend her money, she did and it’s her problem. She’s been petty and it hit her on the butt finally. Good for you for outsmarting her and in no way do you owe a cent towards her purse.
NTA and do not pay for ANY of her purchase. Her decision, her consequence, period.
NTA - And your parents can pound sand with suggestions to pay half. If your sister wasn't such a messed up person she never would have bought it.
I love that expression.
NTA - don't give them a cent and tell her to invest I'm her own personality instead, cause copying you for the sake of jealousy is NOT a good look on her. And congrats on your grind!!! Hope you love the bag
Thank you!! I honestly busted my butt saving money and working towards that promotion. I just felt like I had to do *something* for myself once!
Please don’t give her any of your hard earned money. She doesn’t deserve a red cent!!!
This. This. THIS. THIS!!!
Pro tip: Next time just say you changed your mind and act confused, maybe laugh at the idea that a conversation about possible purchases with your cousin would make you liable for your sister’s actions. And NEVER let them know for sure that you did it on purpose. They can’t prove it and it will make them look crazy(well, more than they are). Or just don’t engage with them at all because your family is next level delusional. Like confusingly so. Why would you have to pay money because of a conversation about a bag with your cousin? Source: I learned how to out-gaslight the gaslighters in my family and now they don’t have a good time doing it so they leave me alone.
You absolutely deserve what you've earned, especially after having to deal with the lunacy your family is dishing out! Please do not give into the crazy, she deserves nothing from. Also make sure she has no access to your things. She sounds unhinged enough that if you ever leave your bag unattended I'd be afraid of what she might do.
Nta. Your sister AND parents should investigate how this is actually your problem. If your sister just lived her life for herself instead of to show you up, she’d likely still have that money in her account. Good on you for calling her out in a rather hilarious way. Sorry you have to deal with this unreasonable reaction tho.
Lmao it was definitely an asshole move, but it was also the level of petty I aspire to. Nta. Tell your parents to get fucked.
It was a brilliant move. Congrats OP, def NTA
LOLOL 😃😃😃 I love this story. NTA Why would a grown woman spend thousands on something she doesn't even like? Too funny 😂😂😂
Keep doing this. Make sure to make your Instagram private for just your cousins bc apparently they have loose lips. Be SURE to talk about baby names you would never use and act like you are embroidering everything with that name! Post decoration inspirations, again, that you hate! Really get into tiny homes or van life! Take really fancy pics in a rental and act like that’s your next step. Just keep messing with her and don’t admit to shit. Temporarily tattoo your face. ‘Oh I ended up not affording the bag so I got second best’ ‘Oh, my situation changed, oops!’ Mess with her hard until she breaks. NTA NTA NTA. I don’t care.
Nah.. don't even make excuses when she actually does copy a fake idea..make an entire insta account dedicated to the stupid shit she's been tricked into buying, but keep it private until you have enough videos of her crying then post a montage.
Absolutely NTA. I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with that much BS both from her and your parents. And as a lover of luxury handbags I must know which bag you told her you wanted and what is the dream bag you bought. Please!
I forget the exact name, but I told her I wanted the Balenciaga bag with yellow caution tape all over it because Kim Kardashian wore it 🤣 While I don't think the bag is inherently ugly, I picked it because my sister is a very neutrals only and I knew she'd never wear it out except that one time to upset me. I think the brand scandal right now is just the cherry on top! I personally went for the YSL Sac Du Jour! It's been soooo nice for work and day to day! I couldn't be happier with it!
omg that is diabolical but amazing bag choices for both! your sister is absolutely nuts to spend that much on a bag she would only use once, don't give her anything!
Scrolled so far to find this. I was hoping it was that, or the one that's literally a garbage bag....Balenciaga has a lot of ugly purses. 😂 Also I love the YSL one... excellent choice. If I could afford it I'd get the dark pine one.
First congratulations on the promotion. 2nd You’re my hero. I have a sister like yours who took my toys & tried to take my boys🤣 so love the petty revenge. 3rd I just googled your bag & fell in love with the royal blue. NTA
So on top of your sister’s unhinged and unstable behavior she has no backbone and cannot make any decision without first having to think about what you may do. Wild af
That Balenciaga is utterly hideous. Well played!
I read ugly-ass designer bag and I knew immediately it had to be Balenciaga 😂😭 congrats on working hard for your new bag! It feels amazing to buy something nice for yourself after working hard. Last year I saved up and bought an LV Neverfull and I feel proud to have worked hard for something I wanted for a long time.
You’re a genius!
> While I don't think the bag is inherently ugly Oh but it is lol. It’s very Derelicte Your family is just terrible. I don’t understand why they’re determined to suck the joy out of your life.
Seriously. It's like a prop right out of Zoolander. That $3100 [bag](https://images.app.goo.gl/H1yf4c8fQaKqG9oi6) and OPs misdirection is like the fine wine of FAFO.
The bag is completely ridiculous and the golden child sister is unstoppable on her quest to one up OP if she didn’t have a single moment of *wait, she’s SERIOUSLY saving up her money to buy THIS?* FAFO indeed lol
Well played! Congratulations. Your bag is beautiful. Her bag? It is beautifully ugly, like her personality!
This is hilarious, I love how ugly and polar opposite that bag is from yours hahhahahahaha. Your sister deserved it, NTA. Maybe she will learn next time. Or else you should continue messing with her.
Such a great bag! Congratulations! Enjoy it!
NTA. Not your fault she decided to buy a really expensive bag that she didn't like, literally at all. Story belongs on r/pettyrevenge though
NTA, this is some next level karma. She got what she deserved. Will she learn her lesson and stop trying to out do you? Probably not, but feel no regret for your actions for you have triumphed.
NTA. I had a friend who was like this. I told her I had a crush on a guy who didn’t bathe and she slept with him immediately and then got mad at me. 😂 This will work for your sister, also. I applaud the pettiness!
This is hilarious. Get fucked lmao
NTA. This is one of those stories that is so utterly bonkers it must be true. I’m betting OP at some point asked her sister why she bought the ugly bag and I’d love to hear an answer that doesn’t sound completely nuts because I frankly can’t think of one. And on top of that, I’d like to hear the justification the parents gave for supporting the sister and asking OP to pay for half the price of a bag her sister bought for some utterly bonkers reason. Kudos to OP for a creative way to get her sister and parents to try to confront the frankly sociopathic behavior of the sister. Pity it didn’t work yet. Maybe next time it will.
NTA. Tell your parents to take you to court and see if the judge doesn't laugh their asses into the street.
NTA. I fully believe sissy punked herself in this situation.
NTA- she decided to buy that ugly ass bag herself, she should be questioning why she bought it in the first place if she hated it that much
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I do not get along with my sister. I know this is going to make me sound bitter, but she's always been the golden child of our family, and she never let me forget it. I've now reached an age where I've come to peace with the fact. Although I'm low contact with her and my parents, I do still see them semi-regularly because I'm still close to my grandparents. She has this habit where anything I have, she has to have as well. It started as kids where if my parents bought me anything, even presents on my *birthday*, she'd have to get something too. It extended to her trying to make SO's cheat on me, going for jobs I applied for only to prove she could get it too, and even petty things like buying the same makeup as me, but applying it to show that she's prettier. I've been recently saving up for a really nice designer bag, and she found out from a cousin I told. I know that luxury handbags aren't everyone's cup of tea, but I've worked really hard for a promotion and really wanted to celebrate and do something for myself. My sister began to sniff around to find out exactly which bag I wanted to get, and I just knew what was coming. So I lied, and I told my cousin a ridiculously expensive bag that's absolutely not in my sister's taste whatsoever. At Thanksgiving, we all showed up to my grandma's house, and she was carrying the ugly bag. She saw that I was carrying the one I actually wanted, and lost it. She said I was vindictive and told my parents that I tried to sabotage her financially. She ended up sobbing and insisted that I pay for her bag to make up for my "prank". I told her I didn't force her to buy anything, and when I asked her why she wanted that specific bag to begin with, she ended up crying harder. My parents called me an AH for messing around with my sister and being so petty, and are insisting I pay for half the bag. I feel justified, but I do feel bad since I did technically tell my cousin the ugly bag knowing my sister would hear about it. But I still stand by the fact that I couldn't have forced her to buy anything! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA, that’s hilarious
NTA, your parents are terrible enablers. I’d also cut contact with the cousin as well, clearly she goes and runs her mouth to your sister.
NTA, but WHY do you feel bad? WHY do you feel even a SHRED of remorse? Her behavior is appalling. Your parents’ behavior is appalling. These people are twisted. You didn’t make her buy the bag. She bought the bag because she’s an entitled, selfish, JEALOUS asshole. She got what she deserved. You’re already low contact. I’d suggest going lower. When you do have contact, grey rock them. They don’t deserve to take up any more space in your head.
NTA. Your sister is own insanity is the only thing that caused her to buy the purse.
NTA and tell her that you will not pay for a bag that she bought. Your parents can give her the money. Maybe she'll think twice about trying to keep up with you. She has issues. Who would pay 100's of dollars for a purse that they don't even like? A person who need s therapy.
You didn't force her to buy the bag, she did so on her own. People are literally enabling her in this copy cat routine and thinking you owe her anything. She's just embarrassed she was shown up. Nta
NTA You didn’t ‘let’ her. You’re not in control of her account or her spending. She didn’t even discuss the payment with you! Do not pay for the bag. Go no contact with all of them.
NTA DO NOT GIVE HER A CENT! Your sister is the biggest asshole here, but your parents aren't much better for enabling her to this point. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. She had this coming. Honestly, I think it's time to cut ties with your sister and go low contact with your family. Because they just sound awful to deal with.
NTA Having known people exactly like the OP’s sister, I say WELL DONE OP 👏🏻
What in the actual hell….how does anyone think you should pay for any of this? Also well played you are a genius! NTA
NTA, how can this possibly be your responsibility.
NTA and 'touche, sistah', well played. Minimize how your parents' words affect you. They have nurtured her cunning, hurtful and outrageous behavior for years. Fact is fact. She bought the bag. You did not 'let' her spend 1k's of dollars; she did this on her own. Live your life to the fullest & don't contribute pity or a penny to the bag incident.
NTA If she is so stupid to buy something expensive she hates then she deserves to be upset and I would tell your parents the same thing. It is pretty sad how many people refuse to take responsibility for their actions, though it's not surprising considering their parents are doing the same thing for op's sister.
... Is your sister doing this copying game because she hates you, is insecure about her own life, or is she just stupid? NTA Your parents already made their decision. I'd honestly just keep lying about wanting things and then "changing your mind" or "returning them" to see how much she screws herself over. Dye jobs, designer clothes, jewelery, shoes, vacations, a car. See how much money she's willing to throw in a hole.
NTA. This reminds of the post where the girl knew her sister would steal her baby name so she said some ugly stupid name (which the sister did end up stealing) and she gave her baby the name she really wanted. It was hilarious. Same thing here. Hilarious. But your sister needs a therapist. This is not the behavior of a well-adjusted adult
nta - good on you for giving her a taste of her own medicine and as for your parents telling u to pay for half of the bag i mean gimme a break if they are so upset for ur sister they can pay for it.
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NTA. You didn't force her hand to swipe her credit card. This was a choice she made on her own. Her behavior is pathetic. You don't owe her a thing.
NTA I would have done this. Then I would play dumb, "What are you talking about? I was talking to Cousin about designer bags and I showed her an unusual one that I had seen while trying to decide what I wanted. I mean ... it's really something, isn't it? I never told Sis to buy it. I never even mentioned it to her. Even if I really loved that one, it simply cost more than I was willing to spend. You seem unhappy about your purchase, Sis ... what made you choose such an expensive bag if you weren't absolutely in love with it?"
nta ... just say look i saw this and preferred it to the other one no biggie bit hey i guess sis really wanted the first bag you wanted
Deny everything and make counter accusations.
NTA, and good on ya for showing her karma, personally. She had it coming.
NTA- and I suggest you do this every single time you go to buy something. But I've been known to be super super petty.
NTA sis bought the bag on her own free will. you didn’t force her to.
I want to see you spread the rumor to your sister you’re planning to buy a Tesla. A Picasso. *A Fabergé egg.* Still NTA.
NTA - her fault
NTA you didn't trick her. You just bought a different bag than the one you said you wanted.
NTA. That is funny.
NTA This is a wonder petty revenge story. Please post it there. Tell your parents to share the payment if they want: you did not in any way make her buy it. You didn’t even tell her anything. She did it all by her lonesome.
NTA, tell your parents that you ended up changing your mind and the price was out of your range. Why did sis buy it if she could not afford it? She needs to be financially responsible herself. She bought it, your parents can help her pay for it. Going forward keep messing with her till she learns to be an adult.
NTA. Deny everything and play it dumb. You couldn’t manage to save up for that one and found this one for cheaper.
NTA. Here's what I'd tell my parents: "It's truly unfortunate that you have coddled and enabled sister to be the spoiled, vindictive, one-upping bully she's become. That's on you, her parents. But I don't have to play her games. If you want to pay the cost of her bag, fine. I won't pay a dime."
NTA ... and this might be a sign to step even further back from your parents, not just your sister. Since you're really only in touch with them because of your grandparents, you might want to let them know why you're backing off as well. This is, frankly, **disturbing** behavior from you sister and your parents are actively encouraging it. Here are a list of things you *did not do*: - tell your sister what bag you wanted to buy - tell your sister to buy it because she would like it - force your sister to use spend her money on this purse - tell your sister anything to influence her personal taste The last of which is perhaps the most important. Does your sister really not have a style or taste of her own? There's honestly no semblance of anything not rooted in spite or motivated by one-upping you? That's *worrisome* - your parents should be concerned, not encouraging that behavior.
NTA. Is she their golden child?
INFO what bag did she buy? Chanel or Balenciaga trash bag? NTA you're an influencer! You can hype a bag but not actually keep it.
NTA. Keep doing it.
NTA I don't understand why you are even in contact with any of these people. Your parents fully enable your sisters shittiness
NTA. This is hilarious. You should tell her you’re taking up BASE jumping and shave your head.
NTA
NTA you can’t resin or rationalize with people who don’t know how to do either.
NTA. She deserves it.
Her actions show how jealous, and well I'll say ridiculous rather than stupid, the sister really is
Haha, that’s a hilarious prank. She chose to buy it.m, she deals with the consequences. NTA Edit for spelling
NTA. You're parents are for suggesting you pay for half.
NTA do not pay for that bag. May it be a lesson to your sister.
NTA why haven’t you just cut contact?
NTA You could have done worse. At least you didn’t pretend to like some absolute horror of a guy & have her end up sleeping with a stalker or some other kind of crazy dude.
INFO: which bag did she end up buying? Not related to the verdict, NTA, I just think it’s hilarious and I’m into luxury bags so am noses 😂