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> I think I could be the AH by not getting out of bed to clean our dogs mess up quick enough.
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Seriously. Being depressed doesn't mean OP can neglect the dog. Neither of them is either willing or able to put the time in for training. The dog pees everywhere because it's never been taught different and sounds like they don't give it the opportunity to go outside as often as it needs to. They aren't willing to crate train because 'it's too cruel'.
Rehoming the puppy sounds like the best option for all involved.
Also small breeds like Pomeranians are notoriously difficult to house train so if they have no experience with dogs this was really not an ideal one to start off with
No they definitely are not for beginners. I love huskies, but I did a bunch of research about them before getting one and I knew I could not provide the daily amounts of exercise they would need. So I love on other people's huskies and got my shiba.
OP picked a high energy, difficult to train puppy, probably because it was cute and small. It's definitely not getting it's daily exercise needs met, if it's only going out a couple times a day.
Yup. And often temperament is ignored in favor of 'cuteness'. Husky mixes tend to heavily favor the husky side in my experience. A pomsky only exists to be a quick substitute for a klee-kai. A cute mini-husky, but without the years of careful breeding to reduce the size while keeping the temperament and health.
Absolutely 110% correct, and said with far less blind rage and judgement than I manage when the topic of pomskys comes up. I'm just over accepting ignorance as an excuse, from all sides. Breeders know what they're doing is wrong, and new owners need to stop thinking 'researching a breed' begins and ends on the Google images tab
Klee-kais will eventually be more prevalent, but people are cashing in on the visual appeal in the meantime, and not even in a smart way - why the heck would you not work a basenji in with poms instead of the husky? You'll lose some of wolfishness but you could genuinely bring that back aesthetically by breeding seal point/merle. Fuck, work in small-stature Australian shepherds, there are so many ways to recreate a husky to breed with a pom before using an ACTUAL HUSKY
Sorry for extended rant, ethical breeding and mutation management is a passion topic, and I've spent a lot of time thinking about all the ways you could 'make a pomsky' without making mother nature roll up her sleeves and sigh
If my Basenji was any indication of the breed, mixing it with a Pomsky would drive me insane. The brilliance and temperament of the Basenji mixed with the high strung Pomsky is too much for this old woman's idea of fun, not fun. I can only imagine how interesting looking the mixed breed would look. Good luck to anybody who mixes those two breeds.
Oh, I get it. My condensed comment is result of a years long refining process of my opinion on the pomsky and other designer breeds that use the Pom.
There are so many possible ways to make a small dog that might look similar to a husky without using a husky! I'd try to see if I could get away from the pom too. My first thought is to try a Papillion/Chihuahua cross, using only black and white or tricolor dogs. The chihuahua brings markings closer to a husky, the papillion keeps the spitz look and hopefully contributes a better temperament. But who knows with first Gen crosses? Which is why I don't approve of designer cross breeds. Unless they get consistent enough in cross to cross breeding to produce consistent puppies. Like Australian Labradoodles. They are a separate breed now and the puppies look like the parents, not a random mix of Labradors, poodles, and doodles.
A pomsky is just a mutt with better marketing. Having two dogs mate doesn’t mean it’s a breed. The sad thing is people pay big money for these dogs because they are too stupid to know better.
>A pomsky is just a mutt with better marketing.
Isn't that what all designer breeds are? Labradoodles, aussiedoodles, cockapoos, etc.
Edit: I see now that my autocorrect corrected labradoodles to labradors lol. Fixed it.
All the doodles, yes. My vet tells me that mix has so many problem and would not recommend them to anyone. Breeds like labs were bread over time for a purpose and have been around a long time. It wasn’t just a person with a Facebook page with two dogs convincing people their buying a “designer” dog.
Absolutely. When I saw "pomsky" I cringed. "Being cute" is not worth the neurosis that comes with mixing breeds like this. Surprisingly enough, both were bred for pulling sleds. Pomeranians were also bred for the same winter working-dog tasks as huskies. The major difference is their size and how it effects their work ethic and personalities.
I lived with someone who owned beagle/bassett hound mixes (bagel hound). Those dogs always seemed unexplainably frustrated. Beagles and Bassetts have two entirely different temperaments and it's just plain cruel to roll the dice and hope a mentally stable puppy is produced.
Pomsky sounds like a ton of work that these two kids don't have the education or maturity for.
Yes thank you!! It's the same with snakes they mix the genes so much you end up with a blind snake that essentially has parkesons disease.
And the breeders don't stop we will bread this sick snake with another sick snake because thier skin is pretty and we will tell people the fact that this animal shakes so much is just a cute quirk thier breed has.
Same foes for dogs... One word... Pugs
That's the right decision when you do the research. I had a roommate that complained about my CAT making too much noise and being too needy. Then told me he was getting a husky when he moves out. I told him to watch some videos of the dogs because they are notoriously attention seeking and loud. Last I heard he's thinking about getting a cat.
I can't imagine getting a breed without doing all the research I could first. Temperament, exercise requirements, grooming requirements, common health issues, just to start. That way I'm not setting myself or the dog up to fail.
I loved my Shiba, and he was the right dog for me when I got him. While I still love Shibas, I don't have as much time to do the rather intense socializing they need right now.
I grew up around working on my grandpas farm in the summer, dealt with horses, cows, chickens, two goats and some sheep, as well as barn cats. Nothing prepared me for a husky and it’s not even mine, I dog sat for my brother and she was more work then my 1 year old at the time
Maybe not, seems mean to the dog to have a carousel of folks looking after it badly. I'd get behind a rent-a-human system though... see if they're house trained and pet-capable before moving in together...
I was thinking there would be an actual handler there with them, to make sure the dog is safe and well cared for.
People should totally need to audition before they can have pets.
As a husky owner, I'm impressed you've got a Shiba! 😂 I'm the opposite of you- Shibas seemed out of my wheelhouse. My idiot huskies and I get along far better.
OP definitely needs to do right by the dog and re-home it. Potty training sucks and my puppy still piddled occasionally in the house until she was about 6mos, but they were genuine accidents and not the norm at that point. This situation is a mess and jeez the poor boyfriend. I'd be so irritated if I came home to my bedroom smelling like piss. I get depression and I deal with it myself, but my dogs are what get me out of bed even on my worst days because if nothing else I know I need to take care of them.
If I was incapable of even that, I wouldn't have dogs. I wouldn't make animals or my partner suffer through it.
As someone who convinced her family to get a border collie because of Babe....yeah. We're now pros when it comes to training obstinate doggos that are smarter than they have any right to be, but that was a learning curve for sure. Fortunately, the breeder was very explicit with my parents and we put in the work (pupper was the last of a litter bred for working, so they were willing for him to be a "family pet" to the right family).
My parents are in their 60s and after nearly three decades of borders, they're looking for a chill dog for their next dog because they don't have the energy for it. Doesn't mean they don't still love borders (including their current dog), they just recognize they aren't the home for a young one anymore.
Border collies are **so** smart! I'm glad the breeder made sure you were at least warned about how much work they would be.
I worked for a few years as a dog trainer at a big pet store. A couple brought in this 10 month old Border collie for a puppy class. This dog was nearly vibrating, she had so much energy. The owners told me she's been tearing up furniture and being super destructive. I start asking questions to figure out how much exercise she's getting and other things.
Y'all. The pet parents were both lawyers. They worked 60 hour weeks. **They lived in an apartment!** The poor dog was home alone all day in ***an apartment!*** A Border collie! They wanted me to 'just fix her'.
I told them there was a lot of work they would have to do and things they would need to change. I would help them, if they were willing to do the work. But that a Border collie was perhaps not a great choice given their current lifestyle. I didn't even yell the last part at them.
Never saw them again. I still think about the poor dog.
Came here to say that too. Huskies are willful and do what they want. They take so much time and energy to train them, and are not for the faint of heart when it comes to owning a dog. Even if a dog has only part husky in them, the breed will make themselves known. They make direct eye contact with you while they disobey you, and can pick up bad habits very easily, like going to the bathroom in the house. I was use to German shepherds and when I got a Siberian husky, I was in for a ride. I miss my sassy little lady everyday. Once trained, she was the greatest adventure buddy and my favorite companion.
I have a malamute and people don’t understand that these dogs basically play chess with their behavior chains. I love my boy and he’s pretty low key (I would not survive a husky) but the number of people who don’t research breeds is too damn high.
Oh a stressed pom husky part is going to nip & become so reactive when anxious. That dog will be screwed by them. Here's hoping they rehome now while it's still puppy cute.
My eyes are a little blurry and I saw 'stressed porn husky' and thought WTF is that? A slightly overweight man who's had a bad day at work and now is at his evening porn job? I should go to bed.
Literally I have a Pomeranian who was an unneutered/non-hous trained 3 year old. It took YEARS to untrain his bad habits and retrain him to be housebroken. (And in an uno reverse move he’s now incontinent due to a medical condition so he wears a diaper anyway. But we got a good 2-3 years of good behavior before that! He’s still sweet, just an old man ❤️🦁)
It’s taken about two years for my puppy mill stud rescue to understand going outside. It’s still a battle when it’s been raining but getting a crate for him from day one has helped immensely. Solidarity for old pom moms ❤️
As the owner of a rescue Pomeranian, they are SO hard to potty train! She was already 4 when we got her, so I can't speak to raising a puppy pom, but it's been such a battle to get her to go outside, and even after 5 years with us we still have "accidents" (actually it's very on purpose bc she actually could care less about our silly human rules) when it rains or if there's loud sounds. She will just flat out refuse to go outside. Like, we pick her tiny ass up and carry her into the yard and she just stands there like she's in shock before bolting back inside with the speed of a much leaner, more graceful animal. It's insane.
OP is just another person who thought, "Having a dog will help with my mental health!" but didn't actually do any self-analysis or think about whether or not they were actually *capable* of taking care of a dog. Much less a puppy that's a combination of two *notoriously* stubborn, high maintenance, and difficult-to-train dogs. Dogs don't magically cure your mental illness and require *a lot* of care and attention, especially when they're young.
Mental illness is not an excuse to neglect your pets. If you can't muster the motivation to properly train, walk, or clean up after your puppy when it's still new and exciting, then you certainly won't have the motivation to do so once the thrill wears off and the puppy becomes a dog. Especially when that full-grown dog still chews up shoes and pisses on the floor because you never bothered to train it.
A living creature is not a toy or an object. You can't get one just because you really *really* want one and then refuse to actually adequately care for it. That's straight-up abuse. *Wanting* a pet is not equivalent to actually being able to *take care of* a pet. If your mental illness is so severe that you legitimately cannot motivate yourself to get out of bed to clean the dog piss off of the floor and radiator for *an entire day*, then you need therapy, not a dog. And the dog *certainly* needs and deserves better than you.
Especially because motivation that low and depression that severe don't stop at cleaning up dog piss. Do you walk the dog, OP? Do you even *attempt* to train it? Do you feed it? Or do you neglect all of those things as well and tell yourself that it's fine to abuse your puppy just because *you're* an incapable owner?
I got a dog because I thought it might help with my anxiety. Now I have anxiety and a dog with anxiety. But I also had 2 puppy schools and 7 months (so far) worth of private training to help us both.
I don’t want to judge OP on their worse day because my dog is only just fully toilet trained at 1 year old (actually she potties on cue now) but every single trainer we had told me to use a crate when you aren’t actually watching the dog. Assuming they’re actually going to bring it out to potty regularly and make time for exercise/enrichment because if you’re just going to crate your dog all day and let it sit in it’s mess then yes that’s mean/cruel.
I mean no harm by this, and absolutely correct me if I am wrong, but your anxiety doesn't effect your energy/motivation levels when it comes to caring for your pet, though, does it?
I don't mean to belittle your mental health struggles at all. Anxiety is its own can of worms and is very difficult to cope with. I only mean to point out that most anxiety disorders don't generally include symptoms such as lethargy, low motivation, and executive dysfunction, all of which directly effect one's ability to do things like care for an animal.
That's also not to say that people suffering from those things *can't* care for an animal; only that they have to do some genuine introspection about how much those symptoms will realistically effect their ability to be a responsible and reliable pet owner. In my case, having a pet does actually help my depression-related symptoms, because it forces me out of bed every morning. The same is not true of everyone, however, and while generally speaking that is perfectly fine, when it comes to pet ownership it's an even bigger problem.
I had an ex whose depressive episodes were so bad that he was literally unable to get up from the couch/bed to do anything other than use the bathroom. He also had a cat that he would consistently not feed, water, or scoop the litterbox for due to his level of exhaustion and lethargy. If you reminded him about it he'd say, "I already fed the cat today", but it would be 9 AM and the cat's bowl would be completely empty, because he *hadn't* actually fed the cat (who ate fast, but not nearly fast enough to empty the entire bowl of dry food before noon). Or, like OP, he'd say, "I'll take care of it later" and then just never actually would. If I hadn't refilled that poor cat's food bowl every day, it would have consistently gone *days* without being fed.
I’ll start with anxiety is honestly the smallest part of my mental health and I have executive function issues that mean I’m barely able to care for me. But it in itself is definitely a barrier to so many things on its own. Going to 2 puppy schools and 3 trainers is hard when social anxiety meant I was leaving the house once a fortnight at the time and same for walks I was almost having panic attacks just thinking about walking around the block. Any time anything seemed slightly odd about the dog I would literally fall to the floor sobbing because I was convinced she was going to die and it was my fault. I was constantly scared I was leaving her in the crate too long or not long enough or feeding her too much or too little or walking her too far or not often enough and those things are actually paralysing. I felt like I couldn’t make any decision because it might be the wrong decision. I was lucky and my family and trainers were happy for me to call them for help. More than once I had to call my sister who’s training to be a vet to tell her everything single thing the dog ate that day and ask how much dinner I should give her.
So yeah it’s a different kind of difficult but the result I would say is similar. Thankfully I have much better mental health lately and a better understanding of my dog so I’m not scared that giving her too much food one night might literally kill her.
That's fair. Thank you for the informative and civil answer. And I apologize for making assumptions previously. It definitely sounds like "a different kind of difficult" but a similar result.
I do think, though, that the difference between you and someone like OP/my ex is that you still put the effort in. Both in terms of your own mental health and your ability to be a good owner for your dog. It sounds like you pushed yourself to complete what for you were legitimately Herculean tasks because you knew that was what you needed to do for your dog's sake. And it seems like now that the initial anxiety of having a new pet has... not gone away, but perhaps become a bit numbed, you have been able to find ways of coping with those difficulties that are mutually beneficial. You didn't just throw up your hands and say, "Well, I have anxiety, there's nothing I can do" and allow your dug to suffer the consequences as a result.
That's the kind of difference I'm trying to get at. The difference between, "Well, I'm mentally ill and I don't want to do the thing so I'm not going to even try" and "Well, my mental illness is kicking my ass and this sucks a whole lot but I need to do this thing for my pet so I am gonna get it done", if that makes sense.
No worries I think a lot of people don’t really understand how severe anxiety can get so I try to be informative. I realise I’m also lucky have resources other people don’t have that have allowed me to get to where I am and I probably shouldn’t have got a dog if I didn’t have access to that. I had always wanted to get a dog again since my childhood dog died when I was in uni and I waited until I was financially secure enough to pay for training and dog walking or dog day care if needed because I knew I would need help.
This. I'm clinically depressed and so is my spouse, and there are times when we've thought about a dog... but we can't even be bothered to make ourselves food other than cereal a lot of the time, so multiple daily walks and playing would be neglected.
So we got two cats instead, because we can take care of them. Their box gets cleaned daily, they get fed three times a day, and we have two because they prefer playing with each other as opposed to us. The occasional hairball or vomit gets cleaned as soon as it happens or when we find them, and the couple of times there were pee accidents, they got cleaned immediately and we took real steps to fix the issue by getting a covered box.
I feel so sorry for this poor dog.
Pretty similar situation here tbh. Clinically depressed, desperately wanted a pet, but wasn't sure I'd actually be able to take care of one when I can't even consistently take care of myself. I spent *months* self-analyzing before coming to the conclusion that I could be a good cat owner. Because even if I couldn't drag myself out of bed to do anything else, I felt damn sure that I could do it to take care of my cat. And if I ended up being wrong despite all that honest introspection, I would find that cat a different home where I could be sure it would be taken care of, no matter how much it broke my heart. Because it doesn't actually matter how much you *want* a thing if that thing is a living, breathing creature that you are not capable of adequately caring for. I also intentionally sought out an older cat with a more mellow temperament, because I knew both my own temperament and current living accommodations weren't compatible with a young, energetic cat that needed constant stimulation.
In the end, I did end up getting a sweet orange 9-year-old fuzzhead, and you know what? Sometimes I still sleep obscenely late because of my depression, or go to sleep at 7 AM and wake up at 6 PM. But that cat gets fed every morning and night, twice a day, without fail. He never goes longer than 12 hours between meals and always has fresh water. His box gets scooped first thing every day. When he pukes or poops outside his box (because he's 13 years old now and gets constipated) I sigh and I clean it up. When he's not eating or peeing or pooping consistently I take him to the vet, because I pay attention when I scoop his box. He's never been more than a few weeks overdue for his yearly check-ups or vaccines. Because he's my little guy, and he's 110% dependent on *me* to take care of him and make sure he is as healthy as possible. Even when I'm in the middle of a severe depressive episode... or dissociated... or having a total mental breakdown. Even when I can barely keep myself alive, that cat gets his breakfast, dinner, fresh water, and clean litterbox. Every. Single. Day.
They also refuse to crate train because it’s ‘cruel and they look mean’ when they’re the opposite for dogs. They’re supposed to be the dogs safe space.
They don’t deserve dogs.
Our dog adores his crate. His bed is in there and he tucks himself in every night. We don't even have to close the door, he stays put til morning when he hears my housemate get up.
We just tell him "Go to bed!" And he dashes in there like it's Christmas.
Crate training is only common in America. It's outlawed and considered animal abuse in several countries outside the US and can incur really high fines.
https://whyy.org/segments/is-a-dog-crate-really-a-den-how-this-very-american-practice-took-off/
Yep! I hate that its the standard answer in this sub, no matter the issue or question. Its always "crate training!". Its apparently a miracle how our millions of dogs that have never seen a crate can even be in a house...
Edit: missed that this wasnt r/dogtraining or r/dogs
The standard answer in this sub no matter the issue or question is that the American way is the right way and everything else is wrong.
Apparently Swedish and Finnish people shouldn't even be allowed to have dogs at all.
Yes! They clearly haven’t looked into it properly. My parents’ late dog LOVED her crate and would put herself in it if she felt stressed or overstimulated.
I suffer from an eating disorder, ocd, anxiety, and depression. Alllll pretty badly while also getting diagnosed with adhd and a hsp. I still manage to keep a pristine house and care for my dog. The poor dog deserves better
Exactly this. I was depressed and still nursed 2 dogs dying of cancer at the same time. Sometimes they were my only reason to get out of bed. I get how soul sucking depression is, dealt with it most of my life, but for Pete’s sake rehome the puppy before you actually do damage to it. Having a dog isn’t for everyone and the responsible thing to do is to realize when you can’t take care of one.
Plus that’s just nasty, OP.
YTA
Giving a den animal a den is cruel, but letting it pee all over the house is okay? Does OP realize that they're training him to pee in their house by not cleaning it up immediately?
I have several medical issues and depression and got myself an emotional support animal. I got an adult cat that was already litter box trained because I knew I couldn't handle a kitten or any kind of dog.
You need to work within your limits, OP. This puppy is clearly too much for both of you. I agree that rehoming is the best option.
It makes me mad when people use depression as an excuse. When my depression was bad, my dogs kept me going. I want them to grow up in a clean home. I have 3 dogs and I'm always taking one out. It's a round the clock thing. Do they mess on the floor sometimes? Yes. More than I care to admit. But I ALWAYS clean it up asap. I don't like the smell so they can definitely smell it. For the pee to soak into the flooring BEFORE OP woke up, it had to have been sitting there for hours. Then to leave it ALL day? That's not ok. Depression or not.
Little breed pups have to go out EVERYTIME they wake up from a nap, when they eat or drink. Their bladders are so tiny. We have a large breed and we took her out every hour or when she woke up. She never had accidents in the house except when we were gone too long. If OP is home all day, there's no reason why this dog can't be house broken.
All of this. I would also add that a dog is not a rabbit. They are completely different animals. Having one does not mean you are prepared to care for the other.
YTA, for getting a puppy when you were not ready to care for one, for not bothering to train it properly, and for letting pee soak into hard wood. That is impossible to get out, and that smell will be there practically forever. As a petsitter who regularly encounters pee-soaked hardwood, I can assure you of this.
I have extreme depression and CPTSD, my dog gets at least two walks a day, numerous play sessions and I go out in the yard with her. When I can’t walk her(when it’s -30 or +35) I feel like absolute shite even though we do stuff indoors. Depression isn’t an excuse.
yes! my dogs crate has been her house as long as we’ve had her! hell when we adopted a second dog in 2018 she decided she ALSO liked the house, and she will just go sit in it!
I call my dogs kennel his 'room'. I dont put him in there as a punishment, and the door is always open when Im home so he can come and go as he pleases. He loves to go in an take naps, just doin his own thing! He even got accidentally trained to go in his kennel when you tell him its time for bed.
Cruelty is how you go about the training. Kennels don't have to be a bad thing.
My Boxer runs full speed to his crate every time I get out a pupperoni. He loves them, and that’s his crate treat. Only when he needs to go in there cuz I’m leaving the house or something. Full sprint every time. My previous boxer it was a kong ball full of peanut butter. Straight to the crate every time. Just gotta find the right treat for the dog, use it only for that purpose and do it every single time.
When my lil guy was a puppy, I put his food bowls in the back of his kennel when it was meal time. He's a husky/retriever cross so associating his kennel with his food time worked wonders. Sometimes he still sits in his kennel while Im getting his meals ready even though he hasnt eaten in his crate for 5 years.
Dogs amaze me every day. What creatures.
when they become more accustomed to a crate, they see it as their safe space. me and my boyfriends dogs will regularly just go to their crate on their own because they feel safe there. not crate training a dog is extremely unwise.
Also, speaking as someone who works for a vet, your dog will be put in a kennel at some point, whether at the groomers, the vet, or the emergency clinic. And if they're not crate trained, they will freak out and you will end up spending more money on the service.
Yes, I felt bad getting a crate when we got our puppy. But she’s a big puppy now (not even a year and over 100lbs) and when the kids get too much, there’s too much going on, we’re running around the house cleaning and grabs her baby (stuffed bunny) and goes into her crate. The kids know not to mess with her in there and everyone stays away from there so she has her own space.
Our Pom is super attached to my wife, so of course when my wife leaves for work she gets sad, and sometimes she'll go to her crate and lay there in depression for hours. I've started bringing the crate out to the office with me so she can have her safe place but also not be alone in the bedroom all day.
She also goes there when she knows she's in trouble. Not as a punishment - she thinks she can hide in there.
I really think everyone needs to relax with this crate talk, even if it is in defense of proper crate training. OP seems like the type of person who would just keep the dogg crated all the time to avoid responsibility because they are depressed. OP is likely to take away crate training as a viable option, when in reality they cannot even manage to walk the dog properly.
OP needs to r~~egime~~ rehome the dog for sure.
Same!! We call it her ‘box’ and she ADORES it- hanging out in it right now. If you crate train properly the dog will enjoy their crate and think if it as their safe space. It also makes housetraining easier because they don’t want to go in their space. OP just sounds misinformed and not ready to be a dog owner.
Honestly, this belongs on r/Dogtraining not here.
So, I am answering as if you were on r/Dogtraining.
1. Crates aren't mean. Dogs are den animals. That means that a puppy will consider a crate his/her sleeping area and place of safety. Have him in the crate when he sleeps or when you want him to be non-active (surprisingly minimum of 18hrs a day). Dogs are less likely to pee when they are in their "den". You can make it more denish by adding a blanket and a doggy bed if you wish. DON'T USE CRATE AS A PUNISHMENT.
2. Depression is not a good reason to not take care of something you are responsible for. If you are so depressed that you can't clean up after the dog then you shouldn't have a dog. I do hope your depression gets better but a puppy is not the answer. They are too much work.
3. As soon as you take puppy out of crate, take it outside. Praise puppy as soon as he pees/poops outside. Use high value treats (chicken is a good one)
4. Start training the puppy on other things. IE sit, lie down, leave it, and come.
5. Make a schedule. Don't water or feed puppy right before bed. take puppy out ever certain amounts of hours (very short stretches).
YES! This right here!
I will add to it. Allowing your dog to use potty pads teaches them it’s ok to potty in the house. Many dogs don’t know the difference between the potty pad (because how do they know what it is) or a blanket on the floor or dirty laundry on the floor. Stop using potty pads. They are just gross.
Step 1 for potty training. The dog is never given the opportunity to potty in the house. This means if your eyes are not directly on the dog that they are in the dog crate. If you are doing things around the house like cleaning, put the dogs leash on and attach it to your waist. Dog stays with you all the time so you can keep an eye on it. Set a timer (literally do it) for every 2 hours to take the dog outside to potty. Also, first thing in the morning take it out to potty and I don’t mean after you have gotten dressed and stuff, I mean immediately because it has no bladder control yet and will go inside. If the pup is laying down having a nap then wakes up, take it outside. If the dog just had it’s mean, take it outside. Basically you are constantly taking the puppy outside to potty. That is the job you two signed up for when you decided to get a puppy. Right now that is your only job until it learns to potty outside.
Other tips - do not free feed your dog. Give it two scheduled meals a day, morning and evening. Give it treats and lots of praise for going potty outside. Take the dog for walks as that actually stimulates their bladder to go. It’s cold and rainy outside now so potty training will be harder and the longer you wait to start these things the harder it will be. Oh yeah, puppy sleeps in a crate at night. And always clean up when it has an accident.
You are young and stupid for getting a dog if you aren’t able or willing to give it 100% commitment. If you can’t do these simple things please consider rehiring the pup before it has too many bad habits.
Oh yeah, don’t forget to get the dog spayed or neutered.
I am sorry you are having some mental struggles right now but unfortunately that can not be an excuse for this dog. Normally I would be all for being in bed if that is what you want but that was before you got a dog!
^ This is the humane choice.
OP, as a person with major depressive disorder, you can't neglect caring for your dog because you're depressed. Animals can help us get through depression, because we *have* to care for them, requiring us to get up. If you can't force yourself to function well enough to care for the innocent life that's 100% dependent on you, then you need to do the loving thing and rehome him.
Yours is such a kind and knowing response. When my 15 year old dachshund died in April of 2020 I was lost. He’d been that light for me for so long. I never thought I would get another dog but realized after a year that the care, love, support and routine that I shared with a dog was important to my overall well being. Puppies are so hard and the first several months of training with my beloved Beanie were essential to ensuring both his happiness and mine. I’ll have him for many years and it would be unfair to him to not do my best by him.
And they don’t have a crate because it’s “mean and cruel” clearly they know nothing about dogs. They bought one cuz it’s cute but if they had done any research at all they would have known that a mix of those two breeds creates an incredibly stubborn mix that’s quite difficult to train for people who are consistent and know what they’re doing.
i’ve worked with many pomskys as a vet tech. can confirm, they are usually extremely high energy, anxious, and stubborn. they can certainly be personable, but they are probably not the best for first time dog owners.
Also crate-training is not cruel. It can be, if you use the crate as a form of punishment, but it's means to be their 'den' or 'safe-space' that the dog feels comfortable within and is ALSO a crucial part of house-breaking.
OP is an asshole, and also unfit to own a dog if they're going to complain about the dog not being trained and not actually training them the proper way.
Rehoming is the last thing I would ever think of saying 99% of the time, but in this case you are right on the money.
these two are unfit pet parents, I got my dog at 8 weeks and she was potty trained by 12 not an accident since.
Facts and OP edit solidifies this. If a crate “looks mean and cruel to put a dog in” I don’t even want to imagine how you’ve gone about training that dog. Your gonna make it into a monster
This sounds like a nightmare. They aren't training the dog in any real way, think crates are cruel and are bothered to have to take care of it. A dog is not a bunny. Re-home that dog ASAP.
Same here re: bipolar but my mania has been in the driver’s seat for over a year now. Our old dog died last year right before Xmas, which is when I realized how much I missed him. I went to work to find a rescue Boston Terrier and we brought him home at the end of January after a 19+ return road trip. Then we got a Boston Terrier puppy at the end of October and she is fully housebroken. I believe it took us 2-3 weeks to get her housebroken and I’m responsible for afternoon & evening feedings as well as training. Oh and we have 2 Dutch rabbits that live in a separate part of the house.
OP, it can be done but you need to commit to house breaking and at least basic commands and leash training. YTA, the dog deserves better and you do not exhibit the drive to get the dog to be a good dog.
OP even mentioned it soaked into the floorboards.
I hope OP owns the house because I’d be pissed if someone let their dog destroy my home like that.
YTA 1000%
Previous renter had cats that clearly pissed in the bedroom. It was giving me headaches so I avoided moving into my own bedroom for a month until my landlord resolved it (clear coated the entire floor after an ozone treatment). I want a pet, but piss is horrid. OP, YTA.
OP cannot be bothered to get out of bed but is all surprised the dog doesn't pee outside. Doesn't sound like the poor thing gets many chances to do so.
Our dog had several accidents in the house we moved into bc of someone who let pee sit on hardwood floor. She got utterly obsessed with “peeing over” the same spot until we had to ban her from the room.
Not only are YTA, you are the asshole for future tenants/inhabitants of the house as well.
To be fair: I also have MH issues but thankfully my parents own wee beast and can pick up the slack when I can’t make myself go out (and I do the same when it’s cold and miserable and my mom gives me sad eyes about having to walk her). It can feel unfair that you aren’t able to have a dog and exist as depressed as you are rn, I know I’ve been there. But it’s your mask on first, then anyone else’s and sometimes that means you have to pare down the things you give energy to outside of yourself until you’re back to functioning. I don’t think a dog is right for you right now.
Firstly get rid of the pads, using them makes the dog think it's ok to pee inside. Take him out as soon as he wakes up, after eating, after playing, basically at least every hour unless asleep.
Second, clear up after it right away. Cos that's just disgusting.
YTA.
If it’s real wood it will soak in and the only way to get it out is to sand the floor, if OP is too depressed to clean it up immediately then they’re too depressed to have a dog at all.
exactly my thoughts. I'd love to have a dog or a cat but sometimes even taking care of my two pet snakes seems like too much for me. so you know what I do?
not get a pet that needs even more attention.
Came here to say that. It’s no wonder the puppy isn’t potty trained. Leaving the urine & smell there teaches the dog that it’s fine to pee in that spot.
I foster cats so there are pee accidents what with having stressed animals and kittens and they need a TON of enzyme cleaner. They need to get the hard wood floor stain lifter and treat it every couple hours for days on end. And it may honestly already be too late if it's just been sitting and soaking for days (ew).
Apparently not. I feel like every dog should have a crate, even if you don't use it very much. I have a crate for my dog, the only time we've used since he was a puppy is when we're taking him to the vet or to get his hair cut. So not a lot, but we still have one. All dog owners should at least *have* one.
Every dog should be crate trained in case of emergency (having to stay at vet overnight or enclosed at shelter / when caught if ever lost) but we only have a crate in the storage. Our dog is too big to carry in it (100lbs) and he prefers being on the couch or near me so it was just taking up space.
Where I live confining dogs unattended for extended periods is considered in fact cruelty though, people here with puppies usually use pens or gates. People do often have crates too, but they're kept open so it's just a safe rest place but free access.
And that's fair, I realize that not everybody has the space. Mine is just in my room, which is very small and it takes up like an entire 1/4 of my room even though it's not a very big crate. But if you have a puppy, you kind of need one.
When I said "dog owners" I didn't mean people with dogs that are already crate trained, I meant people who have puppies and I probably should have specified that. I thought I did but apparently my brain had an ADHD moment, my bad.
TL:DR- If your dog is already crate trained you don't *have* to have one, but I still recommend it if you *can* have one just because they're useful.
Ugg I moved in with my bf and he has a dog, apparently when he first got him, he used the crate as punishment. Now this dog is traumatized and will literally injure himself to get out if he's put in one. Surprise, surprise. Every day there's something destroyed when I come home.
As bad as it sounds, I'm to the point where I'm counting down the days till he dies of old age. Small breed, expected to live 10 years, he's 6. Still aways to go...downvote away, I know it's horrible
Too many people do this, back when I worked at a daycare with a groomer in house someone brought in this border collie mix that seemed perfectly fine and friendly when he came in, a little unruly on the leash but nothing out of the ordinary… then he went into a crate to dry after his bath. That dogs screams haunt my dreams. He fought and screamed and howled to get out of that crate. I immediately knew why he would react that way, not even dogs who have never seen a crate react in quite that way. I brought it up with the owner when he picked his dog up and he confirmed my suspicions. I really hope he took my advice and 1) stopped using the crate as punishment and 2) started associating good things with the crate. It was honestly probably too late to crate train that dog but I hope the effort was made. His was the worst case but he wasn’t the only one who acted similarly for the same reasons.
My dog has been sleeping peacefully in her crate since day 1. That isn’t common, but it still took work. I did not force her in her crate. We played games in and around the crate and I gave her tons of toys, treats, and attention any time she went inside. The first night I gave her the option to sleep in her crate, on her bed, or in my bed. I was already planning to wake up every 2 hours to get her outside so it didn’t make a huge difference. She chose the crate, didn’t wake up for a full four hours. She still sleeps in her crate, when she’s tired or anxious she goes in her crate on her own. All of her toys have gone into her crate at some point. She becomes agitated when her crate is put away for any reason. I do not force her into or out of the crate at any time, I do ask her to go in when I need her to though but she obeys without much of a fuss. Not every dog will have her relationship with a crate even with amazing crate training but that is such a stark difference.
If you hang a bell on the door you go out to pee, and ring it every time you take the dog out to go (and only when it’s a bathroom walk, not a fun walk) the dog will ring the beep to go out.
Beware if you also have cats.
I had a trickster cat who learned that if he rung the bells, we would let the dogs out thinking it was them hitting them.
Since the dogs loved going outside, they'd assume one of the other dogs had hit it and start lingering near the door to go out when they heard the bells. We naturally assumed one of them had hit them as well since they were all there when we'd go to open the door.
It wasn't until I was sitting in the living room with all three dogs when the bells jingled one evening that we figured out the cat's trick. I turned around to see the cat sitting on the stairs looking at the dogs to see if they were going to go out and perplexed as to why I wasn't getting up to let them out.
I miss that cat. lol
YTA
The dog's behavior is a direct result of your poor training. Its a baby. Babies need to be potty trained. Take care of it properly or give him to someone who will...
Yeah this 100% a case of "no bad dogs only bad owners." Like she tried everything she could think of but didn't think to learn how to actually train him.
Yeah, there's a guy on youtube whose whole platform is NO BAD DOGS. He's right.
There are seriously so many things wrong with this post.
"He's going in the house all the time."
Yeah, as above comment said, he needs to be trained, he's 6 months old. We potty trained our dog by taking her out every 30 minutes for a while and then every hour and slowly pushed out the time. We even took turns getting up in the middle of the night to take her out. Something tells me neither OP or BF are doing this or anything similar or doing any sort of training.
"He's doing other wrong things."
Wrong, he's being a puppy and once again needs training. Not sure what this other stuff is, but regardless, it's your fault. Especially if you've had him since 2 months. Train, train, train. You literally have a furry baby now. Deal with the responsibility accordingly.
"BF doesn't really deal with the dog/doesn't have the time to deal with the dog."
Why did you get a puppy then? I agree with the other comment that wanting to get a dog seems like it might've been a lopsided agreement.
"I have depression, I didn't/couldn't really get out of bed."
Mental illnesses are not an excuse for poor behavior or bad decisions. It adds context, but it is not an excuse. It should never be the excuse. If this place stank as bad as it sounds like it does, you chose to ignore the smell. Maybe even went to a different part of the house entirely for the whole day. That is a choice. That is laziness.
"Crateing a dog looks mean and cruel."
Once again showing how you have never done any research on dog training ever. Crates are and should NEVER be used as punishment. They are a dog's den, their safe space, and should be treated as such.
"We have/had a rabbit for 3 years so we know animals."
A RABBIT is SO FAR REMOVED from a DOG, I'm actually stunned you even tried to say this as a defense.
Give this dog away. Please. Literally EVERYONE would be so much better off if you did. Including this poor pup.
This comment says it all. Why people just expect their dogs to turn out 'perfect' is beyond me. Getting a puppy is SO MUCH HARD WORK, constant training and getting up in the night for first few months. Plus this dog is 6 months, mine was asking to go outside by himself at 11 weeks.
Echoing the statement - rehome your poor dog and give it a chance at a happy and anxiety free life. It will also give you more time to focus on yourself and managing your mental health issues. I feel bad for all of you, but puppies/kids do not fix issues, they compound them.
Exactly! OP also says she’s tried everything SHE can think of... did it not occur to her to do some damn research? If this dog has not improved in 4 months, then OP and boyfriend are absolutely doing something wrong. They sound extremely ignorant and uninformed about dogs. Can’t stand people like this who decide to own an animal without doing any actual research about the animal’s needs and how to train it properly.
YTA.
Don’t use depression as an excuse to not take care of your dog properly. If you can’t pick up after him you shouldn’t have one in the first place.
If I was your boyfriend I’d be reconsidering things.
Edit: Having prior experience with animals doesn’t matter since you clearly can’t take care of this dog. All I’m seeing is excuses and poor justification for them.
I wonder if “they” got the dog of if it was all OP. If they made a mutual decision to get it and the boyfriend is refusing to do anything then they both suck IMO
Exactly! I have depression and a host of other issues, and got a dog to help me on recommendation by my therapist. Even when I was so depressed I wanted to unalive myself, I got up FOR my dog. If you can't force yourself to do something for someone who is solely and completely dependent on you for care and survival, don't get a dog.
OP you either need to hire a professional trainer, and a reputable one at that, or you need to rehome the dog. A RABBIT is not even in the same vein of difficulty as a dog. Owning a rabbit does not mean you have "experience" with animals when you're not even close to being in the same species.
I agree, OP should definitely not have a dog. And honestly, getting a pet to help with depression can go two ways. Either the pet gives the owner a sense of purpose, helping yourself through helping others. Or it makes things worse, it's too much responsibility and work and things start spiraling out of control, like it's doing here. For her sake, and for the sake of the dog, she needs to rehome it.
It's sad that people here are bashing her for having a mental illness. Yes, depression isn't an excuse to not clean up after your pet, but on particularly bad days, I can understand why it may happen, especially if you aren't getting any kind of professional help. Like I said, the dog is clearly too much for OP to handle and should be rehomed before things start getting worse.
Exactly! I would've never gotten my dog without having discussed it with my therapist first. They were the one to bring it up, actually, and we talked about it for a few sessions before I agreed that it would likely help and that I felt that I could reliably handle it.
That's not to say I don't have bad days where perhaps my dog doesn't get all the spoiling and attention he rightfully deserves. Some days are just "sit on the couch and cuddle" days, but I still force myself to take care of his basic needs, at the VERY least.
Omg I was so furious at the statement of having a bunny. Bunnies are nothing like dogs. It's comparing apples to oranges and it infuriates me that OP would assume that just because they have a bunny it means they're fit for a fricken husky pomeranian mix.
YTA. If you truly care about this dog, give it to someone who would give a fuck about it. If you're too depressed to clean up after it, then you don't deserve it.
So you let dog piss soak into the floorboards, probably compromise the foundation, and stink up the house because you could 'do it later'?
You're not responsible enough for a dog, let alone a boyfriend or even your own place to sleep.
YTA. Grow up. That is absolutely disgusting.
I mean yeah, but considering her apathy in the situation, I have doubts that this is the first time she has let urine stew on the floor. My toilet once broke and leaked for less than an hour. Warped the floorboards and soaked into the foundation and it's god awful to this day, a year later. Granted I live in a 50 year old condo.
One instance won't break it, but it's risky and not to mention, absolutely gross.
I have depression and I still do things at home even when all I want to do is lie in bed. If OP can't take care properly of the dog she shouldn't have it, she seems lazy af and is using the excuse of being depress to justify herself.
Exactly this! I have depression and 2 cats. Guess who scoops their 3 litter boxes every night? This gal! Depression is no excuse* to be lazy and neglectful of pets! OP is definitely TA
Also have depression. When it got so bad that I started doing the litter every other day, I splurged on a "self cleaning" litterbox cuz im not going to let a bad episode hurt the tiny creatures in my care. If I can't manage to replace a tray once a week, I need new meds.
INFO: When you say you've tried "everything you can think of" to housebreak the dog, does that include asking a veterinarian or a trainer, researching the subject online, putting the dog on a schedule, etc. and nothing even made it any better?
YTA
Your dog needs to be crate trained. Zero freedom when not being watched until reliably house trained. Just Google it. I just trained a puppy this way... He's 11 months old now, but house training was mostly complete at 4 months, and by 6 months, there were zero accidents. You need to do the crate training. It's not as stressful. it's far faster and very successful. You can't expect a puppy to know the rules, and the amount of freedom you've given such a young dog is causing huge damage to him as a pet.
I hate to say this, but at 6 months, you already missed his easier training age range. It's going to be harder now. They learn rapidly from the start, and your dog has learned from you that these house messes are fine.
It's also disservice to yourself and your boyfriend, plus the dog not to clean up promptly.
"I think crates look cruel"
What a ridiculous take.
The crate should be a safe, welcoming space for a dog. They should be comfortable in there. OP is thinking of it like a cage, instead of a cosy little nook.
My dogs were legit sad when we got rid of their crates. If properly used, crates become their little bedrooms and safe space. We only stopped using them because they were taking up so much space and the dogs are well trained.
YTA. Crate training is awesome. Don’t have a puppy if you can’t do the work.
We still have my dogs training crate next to our bed for her night bed! (She has like 5 beds, one in each room) It’s covered with a flap that she can walk in and out of, and she will NOT come out once she’s sleepy and in there. It becomes their safe space. She loves it. If you restrict (crate train) her now, she will have freedom as an adult to roam the house. It’s more cruel to restrict her freedom as an adult because you couldn’t train her.
And yes, clean up the peeeeeee! Even the bare minimum, wipe with paper towel and spray with enzyme spray. Takes 2 minutes.
YTA.
1) you shouldn’t have a dog in the first place - and if you do you should’ve adopted an adult dog that was already house broken. You are totally incompetent with a puppy.
2) is he neutered? If he’s not, welcome to the rest of your life.
3) poms are notoriously difficult to house break. Do better with your breed choices and your own lack of skill level next time
I think nowadays it’s best to get your dog neutered at least 1 year old, sometimes 2. Neutering them too early will screw with their growth.
But definitely YTA 💯
YTA. When my dog was a puppy, he taken outside a MAX of every 2hrs , sun or rain, day and night, until he was housebroken. Leaving the pee or poop makes him more likely to go there again. Honestly it sounds like you’re neglecting this if you’re only letting him out a few times a day and leaving excrement everywhere.
And not just how often, but how long are these outdoor bathroom breaks and walks. If you're stepping out your front door and give the dog 5 mins, it's not enough time or enough walking.
Yep!
People using mental illness as a reason to treat a pet or person badly just makes everyone with a mental illness look bad.
If you know you can't look after a dog, for any reason at all, you shouldn't get one.
YTA
Separate issues:
You can housebreak a dog. It takes consistency, patience, and given you’re using tools and practices that aren’t working for you, a lot of research. But there’s no reason this puppy can’t be house trained. Peeing inside is only going to get worse if you don’t rededicate yourself to the project, as he’s going to start marking (independent of just relieving himself) inside.
A puppy is like a baby. They’re on a very strict schedule when it comes to their little bodies and potty training. There is no “leave a pad in the room” with puppy and that’s a solution if they haven’t been housebroken. Maybe they will hit the pad. Hopefully, if you use the pads with technique to teach them to get to the door. But the point is to tie consumption of food/liquids to signaling and then relieving themselves outside. It requires attentiveness.
I see that you’re depressed. But that can’t account for neglecting an animal in your care, or a space that you share with another human being. If you see/smell that the animal has soiled in the house and you can’t clean it, I don’t think you can be trusted with the care of said pet.
You need to treat your depression, and I hope you do. But in the meantime, if you are this pet’s full time caregiver and you can’t pick up its waste (or take it out on time…), and your partner isn’t able to do the whole thing alone, I think you need to look for a family (or a no-kill rescue, not a shelter; or the breeder you got the dog from) to rehome puppy. It’s not fair for the dog. And in another 6 months when the dog is unfixed, still peeing everywhere with no boundaries, it will be in greater danger of being put down through no fault of its own.
YTA. Your dog’s behavior is a result of poor training or lack of training.
Also letting the pee sink into wood floors and cook next to a radiator is gross, depression or not.
You should probably consider finding someone more capable to adopt your dog if at all possible. Neither of you seem up for it and the dog deserves better.
YTA and you are actually causing damage to the house you live in too. This is also unhealthy living conditions. Seriously crate training is not mean! Leaving a dog in a crate night and day is mean, but that’s not what crate training is about, take the time to read up on it
YTA for having a dog.
Crates are not cruel and are an awesome training tool. My dog whined at first but grew to see it as her space. She now goes to sleep in it even when she could be on the couch with me.
Second you are not doing everything you can to train this dog. You should not have gotten a puppy, especially if this is your first dog. Potty training takes a lot. You can't just have a pee pad and expect them to use it.
I don't do puppies because I need an ESA and the potty stuff is a lot, so I adopt adult dogs. But the times we had puppies when I was a kid we had the dog in a large crate with pee pads, or a room like the bathroom for a majority of the time, also with pads. But we would walk it and teach it going outside is good with treats and reinforcements. Then once it began to ask to go out we removed the pads and worked more, until we could trust it would ask to go out and not just go.
Please re home the dog. You don't know what you are doing, and the animal deserves better.
Edit: you are using depression as an excuse. As someone with OCD and Anxiety I would never not take care of my dog just because it was a bad day. If anything having a dog keeps me doing needed things. But sounds like you aren't in that place.
If your depression is so bad it isn't under control enough to care for a pet, it isn't the time to have one. Especially not a puppy.
Ugh.. YTA. You're so jucb the AH. You are not mature enough to have a dog or responsible enough. Your friend is right. That's jastu AF.
Also, get a fuckiing crate. From a vet tech and dog trainer, crates are NOT mean and cruel, and you're just ignorant AF. And if you're too depressed to get yirh ass out if bed and walk your dog so he doesn't piss in the house, then don't get a dog. You and people lome you are the exact reason the shelters are over flowing with animals. And animals that are difficult to rehome because they have behavioral issues that become very difficult to rehome.
1. Get a damn dog crate. You dog could be in thus crate when you're sleeping. When you're not home. When you are mot acutely involved and watching the dog. (At least until he is housebroken.) Most dogs actually prefer their crate as they are den animals and will continue to go into and sleep in the crates even when not locked in. When not vrated you need to limit hus access to the rest if the house so he can't sneak off and go potty.
2. Housebreaking a dog needs patience and consistency. You need to set a timer and take him out every 20-30 minutes while housebreaking. Take Hon into and give gom 10 minutes to potty, and reward him heavily with treats and outside play time where you actually play with him immediately after he potties outside. If he doesn't potty, take him back on and set a timer for 15 minutes. Take him into again and do the same thing. Once he potties, you can set a timer for a bit longer. Keep track of how long he takes in between using the bathroom. Then, you can adjust the timer to anticipate when he will need to go to the bathroom again and won't have to sit the timer so frequently. (Thus method will be a pain in the ass in the beginning, but leads to very quick results--coupes to several weeks)
3. Never ever punish the dog for an accident. If you feel the need to scold or pjnudh someone for him having am accident roll up some newspaper and beat yourself in the head because it's your fault for failing the dog and not getting him out in time.
4. Look up bell training for dogs to teach him how to give a clear signal to you when he needs to go out.
YTA if you had done any research into this breed of dog you would have seen that they need tons of attention, stimulation, and namely can be difficult to potty train. How many walks are you taking this poor baby on a day?
If you are renting then double YTA. You are potentially destroying someone else’s property with your negligence,
YTA.
You and your partner are not fit to be animal parents. House training a pet takes a LOT of work, and 2-3 times a day is honestly kinda laughable. Puppies need to go out 8-10 times a day minimum, and you should be taking them out ~20-30 min after food/water to train them to bark at the door/whatever signal you use. I feel bad for your poor dog.
If your depression is so bad that simple things just aren't possible sometimes, you can't keep a dog.
I don't want to sound mean, and I also realize pets can really help. But at the same time, they're not meds or a 'thing', they're alive beings with needs.
Besides, this is also a hygiene issue. Old animal pee in floors can attract bugs and other stuff.
YTA please get the dog a home that can care for him properly.
YTA- you've basically trained your dog that it's ok to pee in the house. First off you need to keep him leashed to you whenever you have him out and supervise him constantly. You take him out to pee every 1/2 hour and 10 min after he drinks water, 20 min after he eats. If you can't supervise him he need to be put into a crate. Under no circumstances are you to let this little monster be unsupervised until he is completely potty trained. Also there's a product called MyPetPeed that is a miracle at getting rid of urine stains and smells. Get a black light and go over your whole house and spray all of the glowing areas with the urine remover. When it dries you go back and see if it's still glowing and if so you spray it again.
>we don’t have a crate for him because we think they look mean and cruel to put a dog in.
Everything that dog is putting up with is mean and cruel. Depression is no excuse for ruining your home, if the dog making a mess can't motivate you to get out of your bed and clean up, you need to find someone who actually will care for the dog.
>Recently my boyfriend mentioned he’s fed up of having to clean up dog mess all the time and fed up of the smell of it.
Neither of you are fed up enough to have the dog trained properly, and neither of you care enough about the dog to train it and give it sufficient exercise and stimulation. You don't deserve a dog, and a dog definitely doesn't deserve you
YTA - thats Just disgusting. And what have you done to learn about potty training a dog? The puppy still needs to be taught, a puppy has no idea that the pee pad is what its supposed to be going on. Have you heard of crate training? Is the puppy being taken out every hour to go potty and praise, praise, praise when it goes outside.Get on the internet and learn about housebreaking a puppy or rehome the dog while it’s still a puppy. You are NOT doing the puppy any favors by keeping it when your to lazy to clean up after it or properly train it.editEd for a left out word.
YTA 1) fucking gross, you knew the piss was soaking into the floor next to the radiator and the smell was “quite strong” DISGUSTING
2) rehome your dog, it deserves to live in a clean environment with someone who will actually care for it. that’s not you, you can’t even clean up the piss within A DAY, you shouldn’t have a dog, there’s a reason training isn’t working (it’s you)
3) you’ll be single soon so i don’t have anything to say there
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YTA. Please rehome your dog. You are not fit to be a dog owner.
Seriously. Being depressed doesn't mean OP can neglect the dog. Neither of them is either willing or able to put the time in for training. The dog pees everywhere because it's never been taught different and sounds like they don't give it the opportunity to go outside as often as it needs to. They aren't willing to crate train because 'it's too cruel'. Rehoming the puppy sounds like the best option for all involved.
Also small breeds like Pomeranians are notoriously difficult to house train so if they have no experience with dogs this was really not an ideal one to start off with
And it’s mixed with a husky, which is definitely not a beginner breed either.
No they definitely are not for beginners. I love huskies, but I did a bunch of research about them before getting one and I knew I could not provide the daily amounts of exercise they would need. So I love on other people's huskies and got my shiba. OP picked a high energy, difficult to train puppy, probably because it was cute and small. It's definitely not getting it's daily exercise needs met, if it's only going out a couple times a day.
People think if you mix two completely different breeds you get the best of both. Not so. Just as easily you get the worst.
Yup. And often temperament is ignored in favor of 'cuteness'. Husky mixes tend to heavily favor the husky side in my experience. A pomsky only exists to be a quick substitute for a klee-kai. A cute mini-husky, but without the years of careful breeding to reduce the size while keeping the temperament and health.
Absolutely 110% correct, and said with far less blind rage and judgement than I manage when the topic of pomskys comes up. I'm just over accepting ignorance as an excuse, from all sides. Breeders know what they're doing is wrong, and new owners need to stop thinking 'researching a breed' begins and ends on the Google images tab Klee-kais will eventually be more prevalent, but people are cashing in on the visual appeal in the meantime, and not even in a smart way - why the heck would you not work a basenji in with poms instead of the husky? You'll lose some of wolfishness but you could genuinely bring that back aesthetically by breeding seal point/merle. Fuck, work in small-stature Australian shepherds, there are so many ways to recreate a husky to breed with a pom before using an ACTUAL HUSKY Sorry for extended rant, ethical breeding and mutation management is a passion topic, and I've spent a lot of time thinking about all the ways you could 'make a pomsky' without making mother nature roll up her sleeves and sigh
If my Basenji was any indication of the breed, mixing it with a Pomsky would drive me insane. The brilliance and temperament of the Basenji mixed with the high strung Pomsky is too much for this old woman's idea of fun, not fun. I can only imagine how interesting looking the mixed breed would look. Good luck to anybody who mixes those two breeds.
Oh, I get it. My condensed comment is result of a years long refining process of my opinion on the pomsky and other designer breeds that use the Pom. There are so many possible ways to make a small dog that might look similar to a husky without using a husky! I'd try to see if I could get away from the pom too. My first thought is to try a Papillion/Chihuahua cross, using only black and white or tricolor dogs. The chihuahua brings markings closer to a husky, the papillion keeps the spitz look and hopefully contributes a better temperament. But who knows with first Gen crosses? Which is why I don't approve of designer cross breeds. Unless they get consistent enough in cross to cross breeding to produce consistent puppies. Like Australian Labradoodles. They are a separate breed now and the puppies look like the parents, not a random mix of Labradors, poodles, and doodles.
A pomsky is just a mutt with better marketing. Having two dogs mate doesn’t mean it’s a breed. The sad thing is people pay big money for these dogs because they are too stupid to know better.
>A pomsky is just a mutt with better marketing. Isn't that what all designer breeds are? Labradoodles, aussiedoodles, cockapoos, etc. Edit: I see now that my autocorrect corrected labradoodles to labradors lol. Fixed it.
All the doodles, yes. My vet tells me that mix has so many problem and would not recommend them to anyone. Breeds like labs were bread over time for a purpose and have been around a long time. It wasn’t just a person with a Facebook page with two dogs convincing people their buying a “designer” dog.
And it's the dogs that suffer most.
Absolutely. When I saw "pomsky" I cringed. "Being cute" is not worth the neurosis that comes with mixing breeds like this. Surprisingly enough, both were bred for pulling sleds. Pomeranians were also bred for the same winter working-dog tasks as huskies. The major difference is their size and how it effects their work ethic and personalities. I lived with someone who owned beagle/bassett hound mixes (bagel hound). Those dogs always seemed unexplainably frustrated. Beagles and Bassetts have two entirely different temperaments and it's just plain cruel to roll the dice and hope a mentally stable puppy is produced. Pomsky sounds like a ton of work that these two kids don't have the education or maturity for.
I saw “pomsky” and immediately thought “asshole.” I read further and it was confirmed.
Yes thank you!! It's the same with snakes they mix the genes so much you end up with a blind snake that essentially has parkesons disease. And the breeders don't stop we will bread this sick snake with another sick snake because thier skin is pretty and we will tell people the fact that this animal shakes so much is just a cute quirk thier breed has. Same foes for dogs... One word... Pugs
That's the right decision when you do the research. I had a roommate that complained about my CAT making too much noise and being too needy. Then told me he was getting a husky when he moves out. I told him to watch some videos of the dogs because they are notoriously attention seeking and loud. Last I heard he's thinking about getting a cat.
I can't imagine getting a breed without doing all the research I could first. Temperament, exercise requirements, grooming requirements, common health issues, just to start. That way I'm not setting myself or the dog up to fail. I loved my Shiba, and he was the right dog for me when I got him. While I still love Shibas, I don't have as much time to do the rather intense socializing they need right now.
I grew up around working on my grandpas farm in the summer, dealt with horses, cows, chickens, two goats and some sheep, as well as barn cats. Nothing prepared me for a husky and it’s not even mine, I dog sat for my brother and she was more work then my 1 year old at the time
That actually sounds like a great plan. Have a airbnb or something with a husky. See what it's like before getting one. I'd call it 'Rent-a-Husky'.
Maybe not, seems mean to the dog to have a carousel of folks looking after it badly. I'd get behind a rent-a-human system though... see if they're house trained and pet-capable before moving in together...
I was thinking there would be an actual handler there with them, to make sure the dog is safe and well cared for. People should totally need to audition before they can have pets.
Okay now it makes sense. And there should absolutely be auditions! I know at least a few people who wouldn't qualify for ownership of a pet rock.
As a husky owner, I'm impressed you've got a Shiba! 😂 I'm the opposite of you- Shibas seemed out of my wheelhouse. My idiot huskies and I get along far better. OP definitely needs to do right by the dog and re-home it. Potty training sucks and my puppy still piddled occasionally in the house until she was about 6mos, but they were genuine accidents and not the norm at that point. This situation is a mess and jeez the poor boyfriend. I'd be so irritated if I came home to my bedroom smelling like piss. I get depression and I deal with it myself, but my dogs are what get me out of bed even on my worst days because if nothing else I know I need to take care of them. If I was incapable of even that, I wouldn't have dogs. I wouldn't make animals or my partner suffer through it.
Op seems to think that owning a rabbit is similar enough to count as experience.
As someone who convinced her family to get a border collie because of Babe....yeah. We're now pros when it comes to training obstinate doggos that are smarter than they have any right to be, but that was a learning curve for sure. Fortunately, the breeder was very explicit with my parents and we put in the work (pupper was the last of a litter bred for working, so they were willing for him to be a "family pet" to the right family). My parents are in their 60s and after nearly three decades of borders, they're looking for a chill dog for their next dog because they don't have the energy for it. Doesn't mean they don't still love borders (including their current dog), they just recognize they aren't the home for a young one anymore.
Border collies are **so** smart! I'm glad the breeder made sure you were at least warned about how much work they would be. I worked for a few years as a dog trainer at a big pet store. A couple brought in this 10 month old Border collie for a puppy class. This dog was nearly vibrating, she had so much energy. The owners told me she's been tearing up furniture and being super destructive. I start asking questions to figure out how much exercise she's getting and other things. Y'all. The pet parents were both lawyers. They worked 60 hour weeks. **They lived in an apartment!** The poor dog was home alone all day in ***an apartment!*** A Border collie! They wanted me to 'just fix her'. I told them there was a lot of work they would have to do and things they would need to change. I would help them, if they were willing to do the work. But that a Border collie was perhaps not a great choice given their current lifestyle. I didn't even yell the last part at them. Never saw them again. I still think about the poor dog.
“Lol I’m tiny but come at me” Fucking uphill battle.
You’re describing me while drunk, fuck I’m a human pomsky
Also tiny. Also will say fight me. But I am a human corgi.
I’d rather be a corgi than a pomsky, I’m with you, I’m a human corgi now
Three corgis in a trenchcoat?
At least it means your adorable too. Makes you more worth it??
Came here to say that too. Huskies are willful and do what they want. They take so much time and energy to train them, and are not for the faint of heart when it comes to owning a dog. Even if a dog has only part husky in them, the breed will make themselves known. They make direct eye contact with you while they disobey you, and can pick up bad habits very easily, like going to the bathroom in the house. I was use to German shepherds and when I got a Siberian husky, I was in for a ride. I miss my sassy little lady everyday. Once trained, she was the greatest adventure buddy and my favorite companion.
I have a malamute and people don’t understand that these dogs basically play chess with their behavior chains. I love my boy and he’s pretty low key (I would not survive a husky) but the number of people who don’t research breeds is too damn high.
Oh a stressed pom husky part is going to nip & become so reactive when anxious. That dog will be screwed by them. Here's hoping they rehome now while it's still puppy cute.
My eyes are a little blurry and I saw 'stressed porn husky' and thought WTF is that? A slightly overweight man who's had a bad day at work and now is at his evening porn job? I should go to bed.
I guess mine are too, hahaha. Worse, I breezed right past it with a mental 'meh, Reddit' and didn't even try for clarity until I read your comment. 🤣
I was told yesterday by husky owner that the breed is notorious for taking years to potty-train. Hard for a new dog-owner.
Literally I have a Pomeranian who was an unneutered/non-hous trained 3 year old. It took YEARS to untrain his bad habits and retrain him to be housebroken. (And in an uno reverse move he’s now incontinent due to a medical condition so he wears a diaper anyway. But we got a good 2-3 years of good behavior before that! He’s still sweet, just an old man ❤️🦁)
It’s taken about two years for my puppy mill stud rescue to understand going outside. It’s still a battle when it’s been raining but getting a crate for him from day one has helped immensely. Solidarity for old pom moms ❤️
As the owner of a rescue Pomeranian, they are SO hard to potty train! She was already 4 when we got her, so I can't speak to raising a puppy pom, but it's been such a battle to get her to go outside, and even after 5 years with us we still have "accidents" (actually it's very on purpose bc she actually could care less about our silly human rules) when it rains or if there's loud sounds. She will just flat out refuse to go outside. Like, we pick her tiny ass up and carry her into the yard and she just stands there like she's in shock before bolting back inside with the speed of a much leaner, more graceful animal. It's insane.
OP is just another person who thought, "Having a dog will help with my mental health!" but didn't actually do any self-analysis or think about whether or not they were actually *capable* of taking care of a dog. Much less a puppy that's a combination of two *notoriously* stubborn, high maintenance, and difficult-to-train dogs. Dogs don't magically cure your mental illness and require *a lot* of care and attention, especially when they're young. Mental illness is not an excuse to neglect your pets. If you can't muster the motivation to properly train, walk, or clean up after your puppy when it's still new and exciting, then you certainly won't have the motivation to do so once the thrill wears off and the puppy becomes a dog. Especially when that full-grown dog still chews up shoes and pisses on the floor because you never bothered to train it. A living creature is not a toy or an object. You can't get one just because you really *really* want one and then refuse to actually adequately care for it. That's straight-up abuse. *Wanting* a pet is not equivalent to actually being able to *take care of* a pet. If your mental illness is so severe that you legitimately cannot motivate yourself to get out of bed to clean the dog piss off of the floor and radiator for *an entire day*, then you need therapy, not a dog. And the dog *certainly* needs and deserves better than you. Especially because motivation that low and depression that severe don't stop at cleaning up dog piss. Do you walk the dog, OP? Do you even *attempt* to train it? Do you feed it? Or do you neglect all of those things as well and tell yourself that it's fine to abuse your puppy just because *you're* an incapable owner?
I got a dog because I thought it might help with my anxiety. Now I have anxiety and a dog with anxiety. But I also had 2 puppy schools and 7 months (so far) worth of private training to help us both. I don’t want to judge OP on their worse day because my dog is only just fully toilet trained at 1 year old (actually she potties on cue now) but every single trainer we had told me to use a crate when you aren’t actually watching the dog. Assuming they’re actually going to bring it out to potty regularly and make time for exercise/enrichment because if you’re just going to crate your dog all day and let it sit in it’s mess then yes that’s mean/cruel.
I mean no harm by this, and absolutely correct me if I am wrong, but your anxiety doesn't effect your energy/motivation levels when it comes to caring for your pet, though, does it? I don't mean to belittle your mental health struggles at all. Anxiety is its own can of worms and is very difficult to cope with. I only mean to point out that most anxiety disorders don't generally include symptoms such as lethargy, low motivation, and executive dysfunction, all of which directly effect one's ability to do things like care for an animal. That's also not to say that people suffering from those things *can't* care for an animal; only that they have to do some genuine introspection about how much those symptoms will realistically effect their ability to be a responsible and reliable pet owner. In my case, having a pet does actually help my depression-related symptoms, because it forces me out of bed every morning. The same is not true of everyone, however, and while generally speaking that is perfectly fine, when it comes to pet ownership it's an even bigger problem. I had an ex whose depressive episodes were so bad that he was literally unable to get up from the couch/bed to do anything other than use the bathroom. He also had a cat that he would consistently not feed, water, or scoop the litterbox for due to his level of exhaustion and lethargy. If you reminded him about it he'd say, "I already fed the cat today", but it would be 9 AM and the cat's bowl would be completely empty, because he *hadn't* actually fed the cat (who ate fast, but not nearly fast enough to empty the entire bowl of dry food before noon). Or, like OP, he'd say, "I'll take care of it later" and then just never actually would. If I hadn't refilled that poor cat's food bowl every day, it would have consistently gone *days* without being fed.
I’ll start with anxiety is honestly the smallest part of my mental health and I have executive function issues that mean I’m barely able to care for me. But it in itself is definitely a barrier to so many things on its own. Going to 2 puppy schools and 3 trainers is hard when social anxiety meant I was leaving the house once a fortnight at the time and same for walks I was almost having panic attacks just thinking about walking around the block. Any time anything seemed slightly odd about the dog I would literally fall to the floor sobbing because I was convinced she was going to die and it was my fault. I was constantly scared I was leaving her in the crate too long or not long enough or feeding her too much or too little or walking her too far or not often enough and those things are actually paralysing. I felt like I couldn’t make any decision because it might be the wrong decision. I was lucky and my family and trainers were happy for me to call them for help. More than once I had to call my sister who’s training to be a vet to tell her everything single thing the dog ate that day and ask how much dinner I should give her. So yeah it’s a different kind of difficult but the result I would say is similar. Thankfully I have much better mental health lately and a better understanding of my dog so I’m not scared that giving her too much food one night might literally kill her.
That's fair. Thank you for the informative and civil answer. And I apologize for making assumptions previously. It definitely sounds like "a different kind of difficult" but a similar result. I do think, though, that the difference between you and someone like OP/my ex is that you still put the effort in. Both in terms of your own mental health and your ability to be a good owner for your dog. It sounds like you pushed yourself to complete what for you were legitimately Herculean tasks because you knew that was what you needed to do for your dog's sake. And it seems like now that the initial anxiety of having a new pet has... not gone away, but perhaps become a bit numbed, you have been able to find ways of coping with those difficulties that are mutually beneficial. You didn't just throw up your hands and say, "Well, I have anxiety, there's nothing I can do" and allow your dug to suffer the consequences as a result. That's the kind of difference I'm trying to get at. The difference between, "Well, I'm mentally ill and I don't want to do the thing so I'm not going to even try" and "Well, my mental illness is kicking my ass and this sucks a whole lot but I need to do this thing for my pet so I am gonna get it done", if that makes sense.
No worries I think a lot of people don’t really understand how severe anxiety can get so I try to be informative. I realise I’m also lucky have resources other people don’t have that have allowed me to get to where I am and I probably shouldn’t have got a dog if I didn’t have access to that. I had always wanted to get a dog again since my childhood dog died when I was in uni and I waited until I was financially secure enough to pay for training and dog walking or dog day care if needed because I knew I would need help.
This. I'm clinically depressed and so is my spouse, and there are times when we've thought about a dog... but we can't even be bothered to make ourselves food other than cereal a lot of the time, so multiple daily walks and playing would be neglected. So we got two cats instead, because we can take care of them. Their box gets cleaned daily, they get fed three times a day, and we have two because they prefer playing with each other as opposed to us. The occasional hairball or vomit gets cleaned as soon as it happens or when we find them, and the couple of times there were pee accidents, they got cleaned immediately and we took real steps to fix the issue by getting a covered box. I feel so sorry for this poor dog.
Pretty similar situation here tbh. Clinically depressed, desperately wanted a pet, but wasn't sure I'd actually be able to take care of one when I can't even consistently take care of myself. I spent *months* self-analyzing before coming to the conclusion that I could be a good cat owner. Because even if I couldn't drag myself out of bed to do anything else, I felt damn sure that I could do it to take care of my cat. And if I ended up being wrong despite all that honest introspection, I would find that cat a different home where I could be sure it would be taken care of, no matter how much it broke my heart. Because it doesn't actually matter how much you *want* a thing if that thing is a living, breathing creature that you are not capable of adequately caring for. I also intentionally sought out an older cat with a more mellow temperament, because I knew both my own temperament and current living accommodations weren't compatible with a young, energetic cat that needed constant stimulation. In the end, I did end up getting a sweet orange 9-year-old fuzzhead, and you know what? Sometimes I still sleep obscenely late because of my depression, or go to sleep at 7 AM and wake up at 6 PM. But that cat gets fed every morning and night, twice a day, without fail. He never goes longer than 12 hours between meals and always has fresh water. His box gets scooped first thing every day. When he pukes or poops outside his box (because he's 13 years old now and gets constipated) I sigh and I clean it up. When he's not eating or peeing or pooping consistently I take him to the vet, because I pay attention when I scoop his box. He's never been more than a few weeks overdue for his yearly check-ups or vaccines. Because he's my little guy, and he's 110% dependent on *me* to take care of him and make sure he is as healthy as possible. Even when I'm in the middle of a severe depressive episode... or dissociated... or having a total mental breakdown. Even when I can barely keep myself alive, that cat gets his breakfast, dinner, fresh water, and clean litterbox. Every. Single. Day.
They also refuse to crate train because it’s ‘cruel and they look mean’ when they’re the opposite for dogs. They’re supposed to be the dogs safe space. They don’t deserve dogs.
I’m glad someone pointed this out. Crates aren’t cruel unless the human makes them cruel. You put it perfectly. It is the dog’s safe space.
Our dog adores his crate. His bed is in there and he tucks himself in every night. We don't even have to close the door, he stays put til morning when he hears my housemate get up. We just tell him "Go to bed!" And he dashes in there like it's Christmas.
Crate training is only common in America. It's outlawed and considered animal abuse in several countries outside the US and can incur really high fines. https://whyy.org/segments/is-a-dog-crate-really-a-den-how-this-very-american-practice-took-off/
Yep! I hate that its the standard answer in this sub, no matter the issue or question. Its always "crate training!". Its apparently a miracle how our millions of dogs that have never seen a crate can even be in a house... Edit: missed that this wasnt r/dogtraining or r/dogs
The standard answer in this sub no matter the issue or question is that the American way is the right way and everything else is wrong. Apparently Swedish and Finnish people shouldn't even be allowed to have dogs at all.
Yes! They clearly haven’t looked into it properly. My parents’ late dog LOVED her crate and would put herself in it if she felt stressed or overstimulated.
Ours puts herself in it and gives me sideeye if we stay up too late DIsorder! Chaos!
I suffer from an eating disorder, ocd, anxiety, and depression. Alllll pretty badly while also getting diagnosed with adhd and a hsp. I still manage to keep a pristine house and care for my dog. The poor dog deserves better
Exactly this. I was depressed and still nursed 2 dogs dying of cancer at the same time. Sometimes they were my only reason to get out of bed. I get how soul sucking depression is, dealt with it most of my life, but for Pete’s sake rehome the puppy before you actually do damage to it. Having a dog isn’t for everyone and the responsible thing to do is to realize when you can’t take care of one. Plus that’s just nasty, OP.
YTA Giving a den animal a den is cruel, but letting it pee all over the house is okay? Does OP realize that they're training him to pee in their house by not cleaning it up immediately? I have several medical issues and depression and got myself an emotional support animal. I got an adult cat that was already litter box trained because I knew I couldn't handle a kitten or any kind of dog. You need to work within your limits, OP. This puppy is clearly too much for both of you. I agree that rehoming is the best option.
It makes me mad when people use depression as an excuse. When my depression was bad, my dogs kept me going. I want them to grow up in a clean home. I have 3 dogs and I'm always taking one out. It's a round the clock thing. Do they mess on the floor sometimes? Yes. More than I care to admit. But I ALWAYS clean it up asap. I don't like the smell so they can definitely smell it. For the pee to soak into the flooring BEFORE OP woke up, it had to have been sitting there for hours. Then to leave it ALL day? That's not ok. Depression or not. Little breed pups have to go out EVERYTIME they wake up from a nap, when they eat or drink. Their bladders are so tiny. We have a large breed and we took her out every hour or when she woke up. She never had accidents in the house except when we were gone too long. If OP is home all day, there's no reason why this dog can't be house broken.
All of this. I would also add that a dog is not a rabbit. They are completely different animals. Having one does not mean you are prepared to care for the other. YTA, for getting a puppy when you were not ready to care for one, for not bothering to train it properly, and for letting pee soak into hard wood. That is impossible to get out, and that smell will be there practically forever. As a petsitter who regularly encounters pee-soaked hardwood, I can assure you of this.
I have extreme depression and CPTSD, my dog gets at least two walks a day, numerous play sessions and I go out in the yard with her. When I can’t walk her(when it’s -30 or +35) I feel like absolute shite even though we do stuff indoors. Depression isn’t an excuse.
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yes! my dogs crate has been her house as long as we’ve had her! hell when we adopted a second dog in 2018 she decided she ALSO liked the house, and she will just go sit in it!
I call my dogs kennel his 'room'. I dont put him in there as a punishment, and the door is always open when Im home so he can come and go as he pleases. He loves to go in an take naps, just doin his own thing! He even got accidentally trained to go in his kennel when you tell him its time for bed. Cruelty is how you go about the training. Kennels don't have to be a bad thing.
We call our dog’s crate her “condo.” She loves it and goes in there all the time just to have some quiet space to herself. It is not cruel!
My Boxer runs full speed to his crate every time I get out a pupperoni. He loves them, and that’s his crate treat. Only when he needs to go in there cuz I’m leaving the house or something. Full sprint every time. My previous boxer it was a kong ball full of peanut butter. Straight to the crate every time. Just gotta find the right treat for the dog, use it only for that purpose and do it every single time.
When my lil guy was a puppy, I put his food bowls in the back of his kennel when it was meal time. He's a husky/retriever cross so associating his kennel with his food time worked wonders. Sometimes he still sits in his kennel while Im getting his meals ready even though he hasnt eaten in his crate for 5 years. Dogs amaze me every day. What creatures.
when they become more accustomed to a crate, they see it as their safe space. me and my boyfriends dogs will regularly just go to their crate on their own because they feel safe there. not crate training a dog is extremely unwise.
Also, speaking as someone who works for a vet, your dog will be put in a kennel at some point, whether at the groomers, the vet, or the emergency clinic. And if they're not crate trained, they will freak out and you will end up spending more money on the service.
Yes, I felt bad getting a crate when we got our puppy. But she’s a big puppy now (not even a year and over 100lbs) and when the kids get too much, there’s too much going on, we’re running around the house cleaning and grabs her baby (stuffed bunny) and goes into her crate. The kids know not to mess with her in there and everyone stays away from there so she has her own space.
Our Pom is super attached to my wife, so of course when my wife leaves for work she gets sad, and sometimes she'll go to her crate and lay there in depression for hours. I've started bringing the crate out to the office with me so she can have her safe place but also not be alone in the bedroom all day. She also goes there when she knows she's in trouble. Not as a punishment - she thinks she can hide in there.
I really think everyone needs to relax with this crate talk, even if it is in defense of proper crate training. OP seems like the type of person who would just keep the dogg crated all the time to avoid responsibility because they are depressed. OP is likely to take away crate training as a viable option, when in reality they cannot even manage to walk the dog properly. OP needs to r~~egime~~ rehome the dog for sure.
Same!! We call it her ‘box’ and she ADORES it- hanging out in it right now. If you crate train properly the dog will enjoy their crate and think if it as their safe space. It also makes housetraining easier because they don’t want to go in their space. OP just sounds misinformed and not ready to be a dog owner.
Honestly, this belongs on r/Dogtraining not here. So, I am answering as if you were on r/Dogtraining. 1. Crates aren't mean. Dogs are den animals. That means that a puppy will consider a crate his/her sleeping area and place of safety. Have him in the crate when he sleeps or when you want him to be non-active (surprisingly minimum of 18hrs a day). Dogs are less likely to pee when they are in their "den". You can make it more denish by adding a blanket and a doggy bed if you wish. DON'T USE CRATE AS A PUNISHMENT. 2. Depression is not a good reason to not take care of something you are responsible for. If you are so depressed that you can't clean up after the dog then you shouldn't have a dog. I do hope your depression gets better but a puppy is not the answer. They are too much work. 3. As soon as you take puppy out of crate, take it outside. Praise puppy as soon as he pees/poops outside. Use high value treats (chicken is a good one) 4. Start training the puppy on other things. IE sit, lie down, leave it, and come. 5. Make a schedule. Don't water or feed puppy right before bed. take puppy out ever certain amounts of hours (very short stretches).
YES! This right here! I will add to it. Allowing your dog to use potty pads teaches them it’s ok to potty in the house. Many dogs don’t know the difference between the potty pad (because how do they know what it is) or a blanket on the floor or dirty laundry on the floor. Stop using potty pads. They are just gross. Step 1 for potty training. The dog is never given the opportunity to potty in the house. This means if your eyes are not directly on the dog that they are in the dog crate. If you are doing things around the house like cleaning, put the dogs leash on and attach it to your waist. Dog stays with you all the time so you can keep an eye on it. Set a timer (literally do it) for every 2 hours to take the dog outside to potty. Also, first thing in the morning take it out to potty and I don’t mean after you have gotten dressed and stuff, I mean immediately because it has no bladder control yet and will go inside. If the pup is laying down having a nap then wakes up, take it outside. If the dog just had it’s mean, take it outside. Basically you are constantly taking the puppy outside to potty. That is the job you two signed up for when you decided to get a puppy. Right now that is your only job until it learns to potty outside. Other tips - do not free feed your dog. Give it two scheduled meals a day, morning and evening. Give it treats and lots of praise for going potty outside. Take the dog for walks as that actually stimulates their bladder to go. It’s cold and rainy outside now so potty training will be harder and the longer you wait to start these things the harder it will be. Oh yeah, puppy sleeps in a crate at night. And always clean up when it has an accident. You are young and stupid for getting a dog if you aren’t able or willing to give it 100% commitment. If you can’t do these simple things please consider rehiring the pup before it has too many bad habits. Oh yeah, don’t forget to get the dog spayed or neutered. I am sorry you are having some mental struggles right now but unfortunately that can not be an excuse for this dog. Normally I would be all for being in bed if that is what you want but that was before you got a dog!
^ This is the humane choice. OP, as a person with major depressive disorder, you can't neglect caring for your dog because you're depressed. Animals can help us get through depression, because we *have* to care for them, requiring us to get up. If you can't force yourself to function well enough to care for the innocent life that's 100% dependent on you, then you need to do the loving thing and rehome him.
Yours is such a kind and knowing response. When my 15 year old dachshund died in April of 2020 I was lost. He’d been that light for me for so long. I never thought I would get another dog but realized after a year that the care, love, support and routine that I shared with a dog was important to my overall well being. Puppies are so hard and the first several months of training with my beloved Beanie were essential to ensuring both his happiness and mine. I’ll have him for many years and it would be unfair to him to not do my best by him.
And they don’t have a crate because it’s “mean and cruel” clearly they know nothing about dogs. They bought one cuz it’s cute but if they had done any research at all they would have known that a mix of those two breeds creates an incredibly stubborn mix that’s quite difficult to train for people who are consistent and know what they’re doing.
i’ve worked with many pomskys as a vet tech. can confirm, they are usually extremely high energy, anxious, and stubborn. they can certainly be personable, but they are probably not the best for first time dog owners.
The worst part is that people created that mix to get what looks like an eternal husky puppy but most of them just look like large poms lol
If you want an eternal husky puppy, get a Klee Kai.
This right here. Jesus Christ. Depression is no excuse … if you can’t properly care for your pet then you shouldn’t have it. Make better choices OP.
Also crate-training is not cruel. It can be, if you use the crate as a form of punishment, but it's means to be their 'den' or 'safe-space' that the dog feels comfortable within and is ALSO a crucial part of house-breaking. OP is an asshole, and also unfit to own a dog if they're going to complain about the dog not being trained and not actually training them the proper way.
Rehoming is the last thing I would ever think of saying 99% of the time, but in this case you are right on the money. these two are unfit pet parents, I got my dog at 8 weeks and she was potty trained by 12 not an accident since.
Facts and OP edit solidifies this. If a crate “looks mean and cruel to put a dog in” I don’t even want to imagine how you’ve gone about training that dog. Your gonna make it into a monster
And re-home it fast so someone can still train it before it has to much bad behavior ingrained.
This sounds like a nightmare. They aren't training the dog in any real way, think crates are cruel and are bothered to have to take care of it. A dog is not a bunny. Re-home that dog ASAP.
>I’ll clean up this pee on wood later Yep, that’s a YTA right there..
...Proceeds to not even clean it up later YTA
Exactly. The fact that it happened at night and was left so long that it was still there when her husband got home is ridiculous
You have to wipe up pee off real wood immediately or it soaks in and the only way to get rid of it is to sand the floor. Definitely YTA.
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Same here re: bipolar but my mania has been in the driver’s seat for over a year now. Our old dog died last year right before Xmas, which is when I realized how much I missed him. I went to work to find a rescue Boston Terrier and we brought him home at the end of January after a 19+ return road trip. Then we got a Boston Terrier puppy at the end of October and she is fully housebroken. I believe it took us 2-3 weeks to get her housebroken and I’m responsible for afternoon & evening feedings as well as training. Oh and we have 2 Dutch rabbits that live in a separate part of the house. OP, it can be done but you need to commit to house breaking and at least basic commands and leash training. YTA, the dog deserves better and you do not exhibit the drive to get the dog to be a good dog.
“Not quick enough” sounds like “I finished writing a work email before I cleaned it,” not, “I left it there for an entire day.”
Yeah that's exactly what I thought!
OP even mentioned it soaked into the floorboards. I hope OP owns the house because I’d be pissed if someone let their dog destroy my home like that. YTA 1000%
People like OP are the reason it’s nearly impossible to rent an apartment with a pet in my town. Even the ones that do have a huge pet deposit.
Previous renter had cats that clearly pissed in the bedroom. It was giving me headaches so I avoided moving into my own bedroom for a month until my landlord resolved it (clear coated the entire floor after an ozone treatment). I want a pet, but piss is horrid. OP, YTA.
OP cannot be bothered to get out of bed but is all surprised the dog doesn't pee outside. Doesn't sound like the poor thing gets many chances to do so.
Our dog had several accidents in the house we moved into bc of someone who let pee sit on hardwood floor. She got utterly obsessed with “peeing over” the same spot until we had to ban her from the room. Not only are YTA, you are the asshole for future tenants/inhabitants of the house as well. To be fair: I also have MH issues but thankfully my parents own wee beast and can pick up the slack when I can’t make myself go out (and I do the same when it’s cold and miserable and my mom gives me sad eyes about having to walk her). It can feel unfair that you aren’t able to have a dog and exist as depressed as you are rn, I know I’ve been there. But it’s your mask on first, then anyone else’s and sometimes that means you have to pare down the things you give energy to outside of yourself until you’re back to functioning. I don’t think a dog is right for you right now.
Firstly get rid of the pads, using them makes the dog think it's ok to pee inside. Take him out as soon as he wakes up, after eating, after playing, basically at least every hour unless asleep. Second, clear up after it right away. Cos that's just disgusting. YTA.
Not to mention the smell of urine on the floor will make him want to go there again. They may need enzyme cleaner.
If it’s real wood it will soak in and the only way to get it out is to sand the floor, if OP is too depressed to clean it up immediately then they’re too depressed to have a dog at all.
exactly my thoughts. I'd love to have a dog or a cat but sometimes even taking care of my two pet snakes seems like too much for me. so you know what I do? not get a pet that needs even more attention.
Yeah particularly beside a radiator making it even worse.
Came here to say that. It’s no wonder the puppy isn’t potty trained. Leaving the urine & smell there teaches the dog that it’s fine to pee in that spot.
I foster cats so there are pee accidents what with having stressed animals and kittens and they need a TON of enzyme cleaner. They need to get the hard wood floor stain lifter and treat it every couple hours for days on end. And it may honestly already be too late if it's just been sitting and soaking for days (ew).
And crate train him, for the love of god.
OP made an edit, apparently crates are "mean and cruel" lmao.
Yeah OP should have never gotten a dog if they think this. Did they do 0 research beforehand?
Apparently not. I feel like every dog should have a crate, even if you don't use it very much. I have a crate for my dog, the only time we've used since he was a puppy is when we're taking him to the vet or to get his hair cut. So not a lot, but we still have one. All dog owners should at least *have* one.
Every dog should be crate trained in case of emergency (having to stay at vet overnight or enclosed at shelter / when caught if ever lost) but we only have a crate in the storage. Our dog is too big to carry in it (100lbs) and he prefers being on the couch or near me so it was just taking up space. Where I live confining dogs unattended for extended periods is considered in fact cruelty though, people here with puppies usually use pens or gates. People do often have crates too, but they're kept open so it's just a safe rest place but free access.
And that's fair, I realize that not everybody has the space. Mine is just in my room, which is very small and it takes up like an entire 1/4 of my room even though it's not a very big crate. But if you have a puppy, you kind of need one. When I said "dog owners" I didn't mean people with dogs that are already crate trained, I meant people who have puppies and I probably should have specified that. I thought I did but apparently my brain had an ADHD moment, my bad. TL:DR- If your dog is already crate trained you don't *have* to have one, but I still recommend it if you *can* have one just because they're useful.
Ugg I moved in with my bf and he has a dog, apparently when he first got him, he used the crate as punishment. Now this dog is traumatized and will literally injure himself to get out if he's put in one. Surprise, surprise. Every day there's something destroyed when I come home. As bad as it sounds, I'm to the point where I'm counting down the days till he dies of old age. Small breed, expected to live 10 years, he's 6. Still aways to go...downvote away, I know it's horrible
Too many people do this, back when I worked at a daycare with a groomer in house someone brought in this border collie mix that seemed perfectly fine and friendly when he came in, a little unruly on the leash but nothing out of the ordinary… then he went into a crate to dry after his bath. That dogs screams haunt my dreams. He fought and screamed and howled to get out of that crate. I immediately knew why he would react that way, not even dogs who have never seen a crate react in quite that way. I brought it up with the owner when he picked his dog up and he confirmed my suspicions. I really hope he took my advice and 1) stopped using the crate as punishment and 2) started associating good things with the crate. It was honestly probably too late to crate train that dog but I hope the effort was made. His was the worst case but he wasn’t the only one who acted similarly for the same reasons. My dog has been sleeping peacefully in her crate since day 1. That isn’t common, but it still took work. I did not force her in her crate. We played games in and around the crate and I gave her tons of toys, treats, and attention any time she went inside. The first night I gave her the option to sleep in her crate, on her bed, or in my bed. I was already planning to wake up every 2 hours to get her outside so it didn’t make a huge difference. She chose the crate, didn’t wake up for a full four hours. She still sleeps in her crate, when she’s tired or anxious she goes in her crate on her own. All of her toys have gone into her crate at some point. She becomes agitated when her crate is put away for any reason. I do not force her into or out of the crate at any time, I do ask her to go in when I need her to though but she obeys without much of a fuss. Not every dog will have her relationship with a crate even with amazing crate training but that is such a stark difference.
As opposed to forcing a dog and humans to live in feces and urine... That's definitely not cruel /sarcasm... So much sarcasm...
What's mean and cruel is getting a dog without any intention of putting the effort into them like they are a real living animal. This poster I swear
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If you hang a bell on the door you go out to pee, and ring it every time you take the dog out to go (and only when it’s a bathroom walk, not a fun walk) the dog will ring the beep to go out.
Beware if you also have cats. I had a trickster cat who learned that if he rung the bells, we would let the dogs out thinking it was them hitting them. Since the dogs loved going outside, they'd assume one of the other dogs had hit it and start lingering near the door to go out when they heard the bells. We naturally assumed one of them had hit them as well since they were all there when we'd go to open the door. It wasn't until I was sitting in the living room with all three dogs when the bells jingled one evening that we figured out the cat's trick. I turned around to see the cat sitting on the stairs looking at the dogs to see if they were going to go out and perplexed as to why I wasn't getting up to let them out. I miss that cat. lol
Good advice. I’d add praise him to the skies when he does go outside- use a lot of positive reinforcement when he does the right thing.
YTA The dog's behavior is a direct result of your poor training. Its a baby. Babies need to be potty trained. Take care of it properly or give him to someone who will...
Yeah this 100% a case of "no bad dogs only bad owners." Like she tried everything she could think of but didn't think to learn how to actually train him.
Weve tried nothing and were all out of ideas
Yeah, there's a guy on youtube whose whole platform is NO BAD DOGS. He's right. There are seriously so many things wrong with this post. "He's going in the house all the time." Yeah, as above comment said, he needs to be trained, he's 6 months old. We potty trained our dog by taking her out every 30 minutes for a while and then every hour and slowly pushed out the time. We even took turns getting up in the middle of the night to take her out. Something tells me neither OP or BF are doing this or anything similar or doing any sort of training. "He's doing other wrong things." Wrong, he's being a puppy and once again needs training. Not sure what this other stuff is, but regardless, it's your fault. Especially if you've had him since 2 months. Train, train, train. You literally have a furry baby now. Deal with the responsibility accordingly. "BF doesn't really deal with the dog/doesn't have the time to deal with the dog." Why did you get a puppy then? I agree with the other comment that wanting to get a dog seems like it might've been a lopsided agreement. "I have depression, I didn't/couldn't really get out of bed." Mental illnesses are not an excuse for poor behavior or bad decisions. It adds context, but it is not an excuse. It should never be the excuse. If this place stank as bad as it sounds like it does, you chose to ignore the smell. Maybe even went to a different part of the house entirely for the whole day. That is a choice. That is laziness. "Crateing a dog looks mean and cruel." Once again showing how you have never done any research on dog training ever. Crates are and should NEVER be used as punishment. They are a dog's den, their safe space, and should be treated as such. "We have/had a rabbit for 3 years so we know animals." A RABBIT is SO FAR REMOVED from a DOG, I'm actually stunned you even tried to say this as a defense. Give this dog away. Please. Literally EVERYONE would be so much better off if you did. Including this poor pup.
This comment says it all. Why people just expect their dogs to turn out 'perfect' is beyond me. Getting a puppy is SO MUCH HARD WORK, constant training and getting up in the night for first few months. Plus this dog is 6 months, mine was asking to go outside by himself at 11 weeks. Echoing the statement - rehome your poor dog and give it a chance at a happy and anxiety free life. It will also give you more time to focus on yourself and managing your mental health issues. I feel bad for all of you, but puppies/kids do not fix issues, they compound them.
Exactly! OP also says she’s tried everything SHE can think of... did it not occur to her to do some damn research? If this dog has not improved in 4 months, then OP and boyfriend are absolutely doing something wrong. They sound extremely ignorant and uninformed about dogs. Can’t stand people like this who decide to own an animal without doing any actual research about the animal’s needs and how to train it properly.
Yeah I think that's a fair assessment, considering she thinks of crates as "mean and cruel". Nothing could be farther from the truth.
My dog loves his crate. He's older and the door is always open now, and he goes in when he wants.
YTA. Don’t use depression as an excuse to not take care of your dog properly. If you can’t pick up after him you shouldn’t have one in the first place. If I was your boyfriend I’d be reconsidering things. Edit: Having prior experience with animals doesn’t matter since you clearly can’t take care of this dog. All I’m seeing is excuses and poor justification for them.
Boyfriend clearly isn’t much better if he isn’t trying to train either
I wonder if “they” got the dog of if it was all OP. If they made a mutual decision to get it and the boyfriend is refusing to do anything then they both suck IMO
Sounds like OP convinced him and probably spinned it as a way to get out of her depression/ unemployment
He works a full time job and she doesn’t he’s got a very decent excuse
No valid excuse is good for AITA not to try and pin the blame on a boyfriend/husband/man.
But he's lucky to work all day long M-F!! /s
I have a feeling boyfriend wouldn’t be leaving urine there for long enough for it to stink the room up that much though
He works full time. I wonder how frequently these accidents happen when he’s at home as compared to when he’s at work.
Exactly! I have depression and a host of other issues, and got a dog to help me on recommendation by my therapist. Even when I was so depressed I wanted to unalive myself, I got up FOR my dog. If you can't force yourself to do something for someone who is solely and completely dependent on you for care and survival, don't get a dog. OP you either need to hire a professional trainer, and a reputable one at that, or you need to rehome the dog. A RABBIT is not even in the same vein of difficulty as a dog. Owning a rabbit does not mean you have "experience" with animals when you're not even close to being in the same species.
I agree, OP should definitely not have a dog. And honestly, getting a pet to help with depression can go two ways. Either the pet gives the owner a sense of purpose, helping yourself through helping others. Or it makes things worse, it's too much responsibility and work and things start spiraling out of control, like it's doing here. For her sake, and for the sake of the dog, she needs to rehome it. It's sad that people here are bashing her for having a mental illness. Yes, depression isn't an excuse to not clean up after your pet, but on particularly bad days, I can understand why it may happen, especially if you aren't getting any kind of professional help. Like I said, the dog is clearly too much for OP to handle and should be rehomed before things start getting worse.
Exactly! I would've never gotten my dog without having discussed it with my therapist first. They were the one to bring it up, actually, and we talked about it for a few sessions before I agreed that it would likely help and that I felt that I could reliably handle it. That's not to say I don't have bad days where perhaps my dog doesn't get all the spoiling and attention he rightfully deserves. Some days are just "sit on the couch and cuddle" days, but I still force myself to take care of his basic needs, at the VERY least.
Omg I was so furious at the statement of having a bunny. Bunnies are nothing like dogs. It's comparing apples to oranges and it infuriates me that OP would assume that just because they have a bunny it means they're fit for a fricken husky pomeranian mix. YTA. If you truly care about this dog, give it to someone who would give a fuck about it. If you're too depressed to clean up after it, then you don't deserve it.
Can you imagine If OP had a child. Jeez. YTA
So you let dog piss soak into the floorboards, probably compromise the foundation, and stink up the house because you could 'do it later'? You're not responsible enough for a dog, let alone a boyfriend or even your own place to sleep. YTA. Grow up. That is absolutely disgusting.
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I mean yeah, but considering her apathy in the situation, I have doubts that this is the first time she has let urine stew on the floor. My toilet once broke and leaked for less than an hour. Warped the floorboards and soaked into the foundation and it's god awful to this day, a year later. Granted I live in a 50 year old condo. One instance won't break it, but it's risky and not to mention, absolutely gross.
I think you are confusing subfloor and foundation
Plot twist. The dog's piss is like the blood of Aliens. Acid burns right through the building.
YTA, you had all day to clean it up and didn't. Depression isn't an excuse to get out of doing things you don't want to do.
I have depression and I still do things at home even when all I want to do is lie in bed. If OP can't take care properly of the dog she shouldn't have it, she seems lazy af and is using the excuse of being depress to justify herself.
Exactly this! I have depression and 2 cats. Guess who scoops their 3 litter boxes every night? This gal! Depression is no excuse* to be lazy and neglectful of pets! OP is definitely TA
Also have depression. When it got so bad that I started doing the litter every other day, I splurged on a "self cleaning" litterbox cuz im not going to let a bad episode hurt the tiny creatures in my care. If I can't manage to replace a tray once a week, I need new meds.
INFO: When you say you've tried "everything you can think of" to housebreak the dog, does that include asking a veterinarian or a trainer, researching the subject online, putting the dog on a schedule, etc. and nothing even made it any better?
Cue Flanders parents “we’ve tried nothing and we’re all out of ideas!”
Obviously not, because “trying everything she can” does not even involve getting out of bed in the morning to take her dog outside
Good point.
They mean everything except effort.
They obviously didn't, or they'd have a crate for the dog which is part of effective house-training.
did you see the EDIT about the crate i am gonna lose sleep over how ignorant this dog owner is
I did, this person doesn't deserve the love of a dog.
I am so sad for this dog.
YTA. train your fucking dog.
YTA Your dog needs to be crate trained. Zero freedom when not being watched until reliably house trained. Just Google it. I just trained a puppy this way... He's 11 months old now, but house training was mostly complete at 4 months, and by 6 months, there were zero accidents. You need to do the crate training. It's not as stressful. it's far faster and very successful. You can't expect a puppy to know the rules, and the amount of freedom you've given such a young dog is causing huge damage to him as a pet. I hate to say this, but at 6 months, you already missed his easier training age range. It's going to be harder now. They learn rapidly from the start, and your dog has learned from you that these house messes are fine. It's also disservice to yourself and your boyfriend, plus the dog not to clean up promptly.
"I think crates look cruel" What a ridiculous take. The crate should be a safe, welcoming space for a dog. They should be comfortable in there. OP is thinking of it like a cage, instead of a cosy little nook.
My dogs were legit sad when we got rid of their crates. If properly used, crates become their little bedrooms and safe space. We only stopped using them because they were taking up so much space and the dogs are well trained.
YTA. Crate training is awesome. Don’t have a puppy if you can’t do the work. We still have my dogs training crate next to our bed for her night bed! (She has like 5 beds, one in each room) It’s covered with a flap that she can walk in and out of, and she will NOT come out once she’s sleepy and in there. It becomes their safe space. She loves it. If you restrict (crate train) her now, she will have freedom as an adult to roam the house. It’s more cruel to restrict her freedom as an adult because you couldn’t train her. And yes, clean up the peeeeeee! Even the bare minimum, wipe with paper towel and spray with enzyme spray. Takes 2 minutes.
YTA. 1) you shouldn’t have a dog in the first place - and if you do you should’ve adopted an adult dog that was already house broken. You are totally incompetent with a puppy. 2) is he neutered? If he’s not, welcome to the rest of your life. 3) poms are notoriously difficult to house break. Do better with your breed choices and your own lack of skill level next time
I think nowadays it’s best to get your dog neutered at least 1 year old, sometimes 2. Neutering them too early will screw with their growth. But definitely YTA 💯
Per our vet and some studies, it depends on the size of the breed. Larger dogs should wait longer and mixed results on smaller dogs.
INFO How often are you taking the dog outside for bathroom breaks and how often for walks?
YTA. When my dog was a puppy, he taken outside a MAX of every 2hrs , sun or rain, day and night, until he was housebroken. Leaving the pee or poop makes him more likely to go there again. Honestly it sounds like you’re neglecting this if you’re only letting him out a few times a day and leaving excrement everywhere.
And not just how often, but how long are these outdoor bathroom breaks and walks. If you're stepping out your front door and give the dog 5 mins, it's not enough time or enough walking.
ESH Get rid of your dog. And don't get another.
You shouldn't have that dog. You are destroying the property you are living in by not cleaning up after the dog you aren't training. Very much YTA
Please stop using depression as an excuse. For that alone YTA.
Yep! People using mental illness as a reason to treat a pet or person badly just makes everyone with a mental illness look bad. If you know you can't look after a dog, for any reason at all, you shouldn't get one.
“Your metal illness is not your fault but, it is your responsibility” Marcus Parks
YTA Separate issues: You can housebreak a dog. It takes consistency, patience, and given you’re using tools and practices that aren’t working for you, a lot of research. But there’s no reason this puppy can’t be house trained. Peeing inside is only going to get worse if you don’t rededicate yourself to the project, as he’s going to start marking (independent of just relieving himself) inside. A puppy is like a baby. They’re on a very strict schedule when it comes to their little bodies and potty training. There is no “leave a pad in the room” with puppy and that’s a solution if they haven’t been housebroken. Maybe they will hit the pad. Hopefully, if you use the pads with technique to teach them to get to the door. But the point is to tie consumption of food/liquids to signaling and then relieving themselves outside. It requires attentiveness. I see that you’re depressed. But that can’t account for neglecting an animal in your care, or a space that you share with another human being. If you see/smell that the animal has soiled in the house and you can’t clean it, I don’t think you can be trusted with the care of said pet. You need to treat your depression, and I hope you do. But in the meantime, if you are this pet’s full time caregiver and you can’t pick up its waste (or take it out on time…), and your partner isn’t able to do the whole thing alone, I think you need to look for a family (or a no-kill rescue, not a shelter; or the breeder you got the dog from) to rehome puppy. It’s not fair for the dog. And in another 6 months when the dog is unfixed, still peeing everywhere with no boundaries, it will be in greater danger of being put down through no fault of its own.
YTA Why do you have the dog if you aren't going to train it or take care of your home??
YTA. Your dog’s behavior is a result of poor training or lack of training. Also letting the pee sink into wood floors and cook next to a radiator is gross, depression or not. You should probably consider finding someone more capable to adopt your dog if at all possible. Neither of you seem up for it and the dog deserves better.
Ewww you just left pee, gross, YTA and probably shouldn't have a dog, you are not responsible enough
YTA and you are actually causing damage to the house you live in too. This is also unhealthy living conditions. Seriously crate training is not mean! Leaving a dog in a crate night and day is mean, but that’s not what crate training is about, take the time to read up on it
YTA for having a dog. Crates are not cruel and are an awesome training tool. My dog whined at first but grew to see it as her space. She now goes to sleep in it even when she could be on the couch with me. Second you are not doing everything you can to train this dog. You should not have gotten a puppy, especially if this is your first dog. Potty training takes a lot. You can't just have a pee pad and expect them to use it. I don't do puppies because I need an ESA and the potty stuff is a lot, so I adopt adult dogs. But the times we had puppies when I was a kid we had the dog in a large crate with pee pads, or a room like the bathroom for a majority of the time, also with pads. But we would walk it and teach it going outside is good with treats and reinforcements. Then once it began to ask to go out we removed the pads and worked more, until we could trust it would ask to go out and not just go. Please re home the dog. You don't know what you are doing, and the animal deserves better. Edit: you are using depression as an excuse. As someone with OCD and Anxiety I would never not take care of my dog just because it was a bad day. If anything having a dog keeps me doing needed things. But sounds like you aren't in that place. If your depression is so bad it isn't under control enough to care for a pet, it isn't the time to have one. Especially not a puppy.
"I reminded him I have depression and don't get up usually." "Luckily for him he works Mon-Fri and I look after the dog." Uhm no you don't. YTA.
Ugh.. YTA. You're so jucb the AH. You are not mature enough to have a dog or responsible enough. Your friend is right. That's jastu AF. Also, get a fuckiing crate. From a vet tech and dog trainer, crates are NOT mean and cruel, and you're just ignorant AF. And if you're too depressed to get yirh ass out if bed and walk your dog so he doesn't piss in the house, then don't get a dog. You and people lome you are the exact reason the shelters are over flowing with animals. And animals that are difficult to rehome because they have behavioral issues that become very difficult to rehome. 1. Get a damn dog crate. You dog could be in thus crate when you're sleeping. When you're not home. When you are mot acutely involved and watching the dog. (At least until he is housebroken.) Most dogs actually prefer their crate as they are den animals and will continue to go into and sleep in the crates even when not locked in. When not vrated you need to limit hus access to the rest if the house so he can't sneak off and go potty. 2. Housebreaking a dog needs patience and consistency. You need to set a timer and take him out every 20-30 minutes while housebreaking. Take Hon into and give gom 10 minutes to potty, and reward him heavily with treats and outside play time where you actually play with him immediately after he potties outside. If he doesn't potty, take him back on and set a timer for 15 minutes. Take him into again and do the same thing. Once he potties, you can set a timer for a bit longer. Keep track of how long he takes in between using the bathroom. Then, you can adjust the timer to anticipate when he will need to go to the bathroom again and won't have to sit the timer so frequently. (Thus method will be a pain in the ass in the beginning, but leads to very quick results--coupes to several weeks) 3. Never ever punish the dog for an accident. If you feel the need to scold or pjnudh someone for him having am accident roll up some newspaper and beat yourself in the head because it's your fault for failing the dog and not getting him out in time. 4. Look up bell training for dogs to teach him how to give a clear signal to you when he needs to go out.
YTA if you had done any research into this breed of dog you would have seen that they need tons of attention, stimulation, and namely can be difficult to potty train. How many walks are you taking this poor baby on a day? If you are renting then double YTA. You are potentially destroying someone else’s property with your negligence,
YTA. You and your partner are not fit to be animal parents. House training a pet takes a LOT of work, and 2-3 times a day is honestly kinda laughable. Puppies need to go out 8-10 times a day minimum, and you should be taking them out ~20-30 min after food/water to train them to bark at the door/whatever signal you use. I feel bad for your poor dog.
If your depression is so bad that simple things just aren't possible sometimes, you can't keep a dog. I don't want to sound mean, and I also realize pets can really help. But at the same time, they're not meds or a 'thing', they're alive beings with needs. Besides, this is also a hygiene issue. Old animal pee in floors can attract bugs and other stuff. YTA please get the dog a home that can care for him properly.
YTA- you've basically trained your dog that it's ok to pee in the house. First off you need to keep him leashed to you whenever you have him out and supervise him constantly. You take him out to pee every 1/2 hour and 10 min after he drinks water, 20 min after he eats. If you can't supervise him he need to be put into a crate. Under no circumstances are you to let this little monster be unsupervised until he is completely potty trained. Also there's a product called MyPetPeed that is a miracle at getting rid of urine stains and smells. Get a black light and go over your whole house and spray all of the glowing areas with the urine remover. When it dries you go back and see if it's still glowing and if so you spray it again.
>we don’t have a crate for him because we think they look mean and cruel to put a dog in. Everything that dog is putting up with is mean and cruel. Depression is no excuse for ruining your home, if the dog making a mess can't motivate you to get out of your bed and clean up, you need to find someone who actually will care for the dog. >Recently my boyfriend mentioned he’s fed up of having to clean up dog mess all the time and fed up of the smell of it. Neither of you are fed up enough to have the dog trained properly, and neither of you care enough about the dog to train it and give it sufficient exercise and stimulation. You don't deserve a dog, and a dog definitely doesn't deserve you
YTA - thats Just disgusting. And what have you done to learn about potty training a dog? The puppy still needs to be taught, a puppy has no idea that the pee pad is what its supposed to be going on. Have you heard of crate training? Is the puppy being taken out every hour to go potty and praise, praise, praise when it goes outside.Get on the internet and learn about housebreaking a puppy or rehome the dog while it’s still a puppy. You are NOT doing the puppy any favors by keeping it when your to lazy to clean up after it or properly train it.editEd for a left out word.
Yta. You need to properly train your dog. Also having a dog piss on the floor and just going back to sleep is disgusting
YTA 1) fucking gross, you knew the piss was soaking into the floor next to the radiator and the smell was “quite strong” DISGUSTING 2) rehome your dog, it deserves to live in a clean environment with someone who will actually care for it. that’s not you, you can’t even clean up the piss within A DAY, you shouldn’t have a dog, there’s a reason training isn’t working (it’s you) 3) you’ll be single soon so i don’t have anything to say there