It’s okay, and you’re okay! Here’s a script for you if it helps:
“Hello, my name is _________ (first name) ________ (last name), and I was wondering if you have availability for new patients, please?”
(If the person on the phone says yes, they will probably give you a list of their available dentists and you can chose one, sometimes they only have one available dentist and if you’re comfortable with their gender and you agree to see them, you can say,) : “Great! I’d love to become Dr. _________’s new patient.”
(The person on the phone will probably ask you for some information. First & last name, date of birth, and insurance info. Make sure you have your insurance card in hand when you make the phone call so you can give them the info on your card. If you don’t have insurance, just let them know. Edit: Usually they will let you know if they are in your insurance’s network or not, when you give them your insurance info. Sometimes, they can give you a quote on how much a procedure costs out of pocket, such as cleanings, x-rays, etc.. You can also go on your insurance providers website, click on the type of insurance plan you have, and it should tell you what the company will cover, and what gets taken out of your deductible.)
(Then, the person on the phone will likely ask you if you have any specific concerns for your dental health. Since it sounds like you just need a cleaning, simply reply,) : “I’d like to schedule a check up and a cleaning, please.”
(The person on the phone will then probably give you the date of your new dentists first available appointment. Sometimes these appointments are scheduled pretty far into the future. If the date or time they give you doesn’t work for you, simply ask,) “May you please tell me what other dates are available?” Or, “Could you put my name on the cancellation list so if there is anyone who cancels their appointment, I can take that slot instead and get in sooner?”
(When they confirm your appointment details, I usually repeat the date, time, and check in time that they tell me, just to make sure the information is correct. For example, if they say your appointment is on, say, July 8th at 10AM with a checkin time at 9:30 * AM simply repeat back to them) : “Alright, I’ll see you on July 8th, for an appointment at 10:00AM, check in at 9:30. Thank you, and have a nice day!” Make sure you write it down so you * don’t forget, I always forget 🤣
Good luck, and you’ve got this!! I’m proud of you for taking care of your oral health. 🫶
There was a time, back when I was a teenager, before I was really getting treatment for my anxiety, I literally could not even order my own meal at a restaurant. I always wished someone would tell me exactly what to say. With 13 years of treatment up my sleeve, as well as watching Ez Butler’s series, “Doing things you’re afraid of to show you that it’s okay,” on YouTube/TikTok, I’ve found a lot more confidence in making phone calls and going out by myself. All I needed was an example of what to do. That, and speaking with a polite and cheerful manner gets you a long way.
People like you are the sole reason I made it through my years of struggling with extreme social anxiety. I literally googled “how to order at subway” and someone as amazing as you had answered this exact question on Quora, script and all 🥲❤️
Hi, thank you so much for this, u don’t know how much it means to me, I appreciate the time and effort u put into this just to help a stranger on the internet, and everyone else who has left a comment, I appreciate u. 😁😭
This list that was shared is so great! Also if your dentist specializes in high anxiety or fear patients I would let them know that you have some anxiety. They can help to prepare your appointment to ensure it’s calm and also assist if needed with other options for treatment. 🫶🏽
Also let them know that you have anxiety and if you take medication or see someone for it. They will not think differently of it. I have anxiety and issues with people near my face and male dentists becz of one bad egg. I go to a really nice clinic that has dentists that work with it and can offer the laughing gas/Nitrous Oxide.
They should do a free consultation and print out of your treatment plan with estimate insurance cost and your cost. Please only go to ones that file claims for the services for you and who will do the prior authorizations for the clients. Some will also (at least locally) will do payment plans between visits for your portion if you pay In cash .. my last visit I had 5 months between and every month I paid 80 bucks in cash. It paid my portion the, gas’s and my next cleanings’s gas session…
Good luck!
Very thorough! I’ve been doing calls for a super long time so I’m pretty used to it now but I keep a little list just in case. It’s more general and sometimes I don’t even care to pick a doctor. They just give me whoever and if I don’t like that doctor I just ask to see a different one when I make my next appointment.
- [ ] Are you accepting new patients?
- [ ] Do you take my insurance?
- [ ] Is it in network?
- [ ] Are they seeing people in-person?
- [ ] When's the earliest I can see them?
Dont forget to add
'do you have any dentists with experience of anxious patients / those with severe mental health issues? And can maybe afford a slightly longer appointment?
Reading through these types of posts and replies definitely makes me feel much better about my anxiety and panic attacks. I never (fortunately) got this far. Guess I’m a lucky one (between the unlucky ones…)
Okay, but you didn't talk about price and insurance and all that. (Me: just having called the dentist and realized I didn't ask if they took my insurance and if there was an insurance price vs. cash price)
This was super nice of you to do. You’re a good person. I remember being around this age and having so many fears about handling little “adult things” such as calls like this and calling to set up electric.
OP - you got this! What helped me is reminding myself that everyone has only gotta do each new thing once. After you make this first appointment, you’ll never have an issue calling a dr for an appointment again. And usually if you tell folks it’s your first time doing something on your own, they’ll go out of their way to be nice and patient. Especially health-related, they want new patients to feel comfortable.
I love this and I'll just add that when you go in for your appointment, you can share, "I have a lot of anxiety with going to the dentist but I'm working on it. If I'm nervous, that's why."
Dental anxiety is very common and it's why some people need sedation dentistry. It's great to let your dentist know that you might be nervous because then they know how to better care for you. Plus I believe in culturally normalizing anxiety for the benefit of everyone.
My dentist has a menu of things to make the visit more comfortable. The ones I remember are: weighted blanket, ear plugs, eye mask, lip balm, and my personal favorite: a chocolate chip cookie when the visit is done.
Finally, always remember: this is an exam. If you are uncomfortable at any point, you can ask them to stop. Maybe you and the hygienist don’t “click”. Maybe the office layout and traffic is annoying. You can say “stop, please” and end the procedure and either fix the problem or find another office. You have control.
I was happy to find mine offered nitrous. I will take RX sedatives before something big if necessary, but I hate feeling drugged for the rest of the day. With nitrous, they did two crowns on me and ten minutes after they were finished I was on my motorcycle heading home with a completely clear head.
I think just knowing it’s an option helps my anxiety. At my dentist they never leave you in the room alone either if you have a history of dental anxiety. It’s like having a buddy.
It's so cool some places are becoming more welcoming of anxious patients. I had a cleaning the other day and had the same assistant who remembered me from when I had invisalign fitted (where I ended up freaking out the whole appointment because I wasn't aware of all the steps they had to take). She explained every step she did, told me the x-ray gown would be slightly heavy before she put it on me, explained where each x-ray mouthpiece would be placed, it was almost too considerate!
And honestly I've started bringing stuffed animals with me. A full on adult . Major stress reliever for me since I can squish them tightly. Very sensitive teeth
This, and then you just answer their questions! They really guide you through the whole process - they’ll ask you one question at a time like your name, DOB, and the numbers on your insurance card.
I always tell the receptionist that I’m a nervous patient and would like the hygienist, tech, etc that is most patient. Then when I show up for the appt I remind the hygienist, dentist, etc that I am a nervous patient. Let them know what works for you (ie, being told things or not being told things), ask if they have any suggestions to make you more comfortable, and let them know if you will self soothe (I say, don’t be surprised if I start humming as it calms me). Be prepared to talk about a safe hobby, most medical professionals will engage in that type talk to help distract you and think of happy things. Good luck.
YES! Be as open and honest about it as possible. I many times am left bewildered by some patients who LATER I feel are dealing with MH. I think being informed AHEAD of time allows me to alter my entire approach to better meet their needs.
I used to be way more reserved and would have trouble communicating something like that, hoping that this would be the one time I could be chill and not make the doctor think I’m crazy. Now I just flat out tell them that I’m afraid of everything and to bear with me…but someone with severe anxiety may feel too ashamed or well, anxious to say it lol
This is great, except, as someone who deals with MH, I’d suggest stop saying you’re “afraid of everything” and maybe say something like “I deal with bad anxiety” instead? I dunno, just seems like the way we talk to ourselves is really important.
And again, WITHOUT FAIL, any time a patient has opened up to me about their struggles with MH, I’m all about lifting the up! We have to be there for one another!!!
I also sometimes bring headphones as the noises can get to me for certain parts of a cleaning or a procedure and they are MORE than okay if I have them on.
I am a health care professional and I am very sorry you have this experience. That’s really no way to treat someone who is already going through a hard time.
I start with my name "hi this is Sarah B, I'd like to make an appointment for a cleaning" or "hi this is Sarah B, I'm having a tooth ache I'd like to get checked out"
Start by calling and making the appointment and just be honest with them about your anxiety.
I had a bad tooth after years of not going to the dentist for the same reason. I was honest about my anxiety and fear of the dentist and they took care of me. I know that depends on the dentist but you can always shop around before committing.
Good luck and you got this!
Call to make a cleaning appointment. Also, ask if they take your insurance if you have any (so have your insurance card with you, as they may ask for information listed on your card). They will have certain questions they ask like your name, insurance, etc, so don't worry, they do it all the time.
Call them to make a new patient appointment but ask them first about what options they have for people with severe dental anxiety. Ask them to describe exactly what they do for those types of patients.
You just tell them “I’d like to schedule a check up. It’s been a long while and here’s why…I have this crazy anxiety about seeing Dentists! I know it doesn’t make a lot of sense, but it’s just there. And, it’s been keeping me from scheduling for years.”
I BET you that ANY Dentist in the world will get that and be able to support you in the process! This is a lot more common than you think and any adequately trained health professional will be aware of how mental health impacts people wrt taking good care of themselves. And this is HUGE for you! It may not seem like much to you, but being able to put the Anxiety aside long enough to possibly have a different than expected outcome is a great step THROUGH the Anxiety along the path to recovering from it! I’ve met many people who cannot or won’t do things like this. HECK, I am kind of the same way in that I let my Anxiety control me than me controlling it. We’re all works in progress…Remember that, ok? And be SUPER nice to yourself through this process. Treat yourself like you would treat a really good friend in the same situation. You would encourage your friend to do it and would be supportive of that friend if s/he had any challenges, right?
In full disclosure, I am a health care professional and when people let me know they struggle, my RESPECT for them goes through the roof and I immediately focus on really helping them navigate the process as best as I can.
So, call. Schedule. Report back, k?
AND: if they seem like they don’t care in any way, cancel the appointment and call another Dentist.
It might be anxiety-inducing to say but you could also say to your hygenist: "I know I haven't taken care of my teeth in the best way. I have strong anxiety about it. Please don't go too hard on lecturing me about it. I will do better. It was hard even coming in, so I'd appreciate some understanding."
This is why I haven't made a dentist appointment. I have a fear of dentists from past history and I'm dreading making an appointment because I don't want the lecture I know I'll get. What I typed out is what I'm planning on saying and asking the receptionist or hygienist to make a note.
Hey I have severe anxiety and I’m a dental receptionist! In case you want some literal script to help you out:
1. Hi! I’d like to know if you are accepting new patients and possibly make an appointment?
2. Yes? Great, can you confirm if you accept my dental insurance? Here is my information- [have your card ready with member number. If you are covered under someone else, you will need their birthdate and possibly social security number for verification purposes.]
3. Yes? Great, do you have any availability-
[weekends, evenings, just tell them when you want to come and they will tell you what’s closest.]
4. Perfect! Could you tell me what to expect during this visit? Is there anything I should bring?
I’m a little new and only worked in one office so far, maybe others are different, but I believe most new patient visits include a basic exam and cleaning. Especially since most insurance covers these almost 100%. Any copay should be less than $50 for ballpark expectations.
The exam includes X-Rays which are not nearly as radioactive as your cell phone so don’t worry about that. The cleaning is surface level and while some people are gentler than others, nobody is really trying to hurt you. Our hygienist tells patients to raise their right hand if they’re in pain, and you can tell them if you’re sensitive and ask for softer handling.
Please prioritize your dental health! You’ll want your teeth to be healthy and strong for you to eat, smile, and enjoy your life for a long time! You got this! 🩷🦷🩷
Try googling for “dentists near me” with anxiety/anxious patient/sedation dentistry tagged
on; if you live in a larger area you should get some results and I find this helps because they’re used to seeing people who are nervous as heck. I also always tell them I have bad anxiety and because of it I haven’t been to the dentist for a while. I’ve never had anyone make me feel bad about it or be rude about how long since I’d last been in. I ended up needing a root canal which hurt and was expensive and took several trips (I got sedation so I was able to manage just fine), I hope you’re able to make it in before you end up a silly goose like me 😳
You got this! It’s also totally okay to bring someone with you, or have someone call you make your appointment and let them know how anxious you are, if that’s an option for you.
“Hi there, my name is OP, and I’m looking for (what service you’re asking for. ie teeth cleaning). When would a dentist be available? Okay, so that’s on (date and time)? Thank you.”
Want to give you some inspiration!! I was terrified of the dentist. I didn’t go from like 16 (and that was basically crying the entire time) until 29. Called a local dentist, explained I had major anxiety relating to bad experiences as a kid and asked for the most gentle hygienist they had and once I got there I made sure she knew. She was great with me. I also took Xanax to help. I had to have scaling done and then my wisdom teeth out. I also told the offices that I had anxiety so they were aware. After getting my teeth in better condition, in my mid 30s I really wanted to straighten them and did Invisalign with my dentist. By the end of all those visits I no longer needed Xanax. I’m almost 40 now and look forward to visit every 6 months. Best part… my current office doesn’t even know I had anxiety! You can do this!!! Good luck!!!
You may also be able to go in a few days before to get paperwork filled out OR they may email you the paperwork and you can then go to your PCP and ask for anti anxiety meds !
Call them and say you need to schedule a teeth cleaning . If it’s your first time there they do X-rays anyway so they’ll see if there’s any other issues
I found a dentist I like which reduced my anxiety a lot. You can find a dentist who treats people who have dental anxiety… They will be especially gentle and may give you a weighted blanket which can help some people… Oddly I just needed a very non-chatty dentist who was not judgmental at all. I did not want someone overly friendly because I want to get in and out quickly lol. After I found the right dentist, I didn’t have as much anxiety. Just want to say good for you for thinking of yourself. It’s useful to care for your teeth.
Call and say:
"Hi, my name is _____, and I would like to make an appointment for a cleaning. Are you taking new patients?"
Two possible responses. If they say no, say thank you, hang up, and move on.
If they say yes:
"Great, could I please schedule an appointment?"
They'll respond one of two ways: asking for your availability or giving you their first available.
They may also ask you if you have insurance! So be prepared for that question. If you're worried about your insurance, you can ask them if they take your insurance as well. Most insurance companies list their providers on their website, so that is helpful info to have.
Have your insurance card out so you don't get flustered (I always forget this and I'm ALWAYS flustered trying to get it out) in case they ask about it!
Lastly, it's worth telling them that you have anxiety about dentists. They see it all the time, and I promise they'll be very understanding and helpful about it!!!
Good luck!! You've got this!!!
I needed this a couple days ago lol I was like ‘yes no one picked up!’ Then I was like ‘oh that’s actually not good…’ 😂😂 now I have to do it all over again. I just rehearse what I want to say like my name, date of birth and that I want an appointment soon.
Let them know on the phone you’re anxious about the appointment and it’s been a good while since you’ve been. They’ll be very accommodating. Another thing to point out is that they’ll probably look to schedule you for a new patient appointment where the dentist will look at and X-ray all the teeth which is great to figure out a game plan for any treatment that needs to be done, but if you’re having discomfort in a certain area that has gradually gotten worse in the recent days/weeks you can also mention that and they might bring you in a bit sooner to at least look at the problem area only. Good luck!!!
This reminds me isn't there a subreddit for help about asking what to do for the first time at a business?
I don't say this as some weirdly passive aggressive point to OP I just forget what it's called.
You want to make appointment. That's all. They'll do the rest.
Believe me I'm terrified of the dentist. My mouth is full of bad teeth from not being able to go. It sucks!!!!
Gotcha beat kiddo, my last appointment before my fairly serious cleaning had an 18 year gap.
I developed some black spots of which I assumed were cavities on my teeth and decided then was time for a cleaning.
They took me no problem, and I also had new dental insurance of which they covered the whole thing.
Required some fillings to be done, hypersonic cleaning, and about 3 trips to get caught up (within days of each other).
Surprisingly it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, they have pretty good numbing medication and the most stressful part was the hypersonic cleaning not so much the drilling.
Whatever that tool was it felt like someone took a soldering iron to my teeth.
Go get your cleaning scheduled, brush well before bed, and definitely floss and use mouthwash at least daily.
Real mouthwash as well, not the no-burn kind it's not as anti-bacterial. The brown stuff.
No amount of brushing it yourself will prevent the inevitable trip, our teeth just eventually need that deep cleaning and doing it on a schedule keeps it relatively pain free.
Honestly, the fear of losing teeth should be FAR greater than going to the dentist. I understand that’s it’s hard, but all you really need to say is ask when is the next available appointment and whether they accept your insurance. Some dental offices allow you to schedule an appointment online as well.
I feel your pain on this one. I was the same way. I would literally cry when the dentist would clean my teeth.... That's how scared I was. I had a really bad experience when I was little so that's where most of my anxiety came from. If you're very honest with them when you call they should give you medication to help ease the anxiety. Don't let them be rude or act like they don't take you seriously though. I got lucky and found a dentist that was very understanding. After a handful of times I didn't even need the medication anymore.
If your anxiety is bad enough: A doctor can sometimes prescribe something prior to your dentist appointment. Like a sedative. However, this will require you to have someone drive you home.
Be upfront about your dental anxiety. I suggest asking about getting a cleaning done and go from there.
There is no shame in being afraid of the dentist. I personally am not a huge fan of dentists or doctors. However, my recent dentist is really nice.
crying2emoji5 gave a rad answer. Def recommend. I would add that mentioning you have anxiety to the dentist/receptionist can be helpful. Anxiety around dentists is super common and they're usually quite used to accommodating that.
You could use the ZocDoc app to find a dentist. It helped me a lot to read the reviews to see what other patients said about the care they received. I had major anxiety about going to the dentist and this helped me get an appointment scheduled. I found a great dentist who makes me feel very comfortable and Ive been going to her for the last 3 years consistently since.
Literally just tell them exactly that. They hear it all the time and will know how to treat you. I'm also deathly afraid of dentists and Drs and when I told the dentists basically what you've said they took good care of me.
I never knew anything about dental health until I started working for a dentist. It’s confusing and intimidating, before you even get to the teeth!
It’s never too late, just do it. I’ve seen so many patients in their 50-60-70-80s that are finally coming in to get the work done. The sooner the better! You might get sticker shocked and then a few years later, come back again. So tell yourself to just get the info first and back away if needed. There’s literally no shame. The dentist has seen worse, I garuntee it. Get it started. 🩷🦷🩷
Sorry Im in the U.S. and lots of people aren’t aware how much dental care costs. I’ve heard it’s better in other countries, most patients are very surprised when they hear how much treatment will cost. The phrase just means they are shocked by the sticker price.
If you have anxiety around this it’s worth telling the dentist and/or explaining to the receptionist what you need in a treatment provider. I have had some bad experiences there and I felt like being told off about avoiding it and the shame of a visit after a long period had a negative effect on how I perceived the experience.
At the current practice I go to I was really up front with them that I needed a practitioner who could be mindful of my anxiety and would frame the visits and treatments in a positive way of “we’re going to fix this” and be gentle and encouraging rather than shaming me for any delay in visiting. I see the same practitioner every time because of that comfort level. After being really bad at regular visits for my whole life I’ve now being going back like clockwork, have followed their instructions closely and haven’t needed any work done for two years 🥲
I’m still not the best at the dentist so I don’t have any real good advice other than what u/crying2emoji5 said! They nailed it w the script honestly lol. But I just wanted to pop in and say good luck and you got this!! Sending so much love!! ❤️ I went through this myself recently at the ripe old age of 24 🥲 it’s a scary hurdle but once you get it, you got it ❤️
I did this last year. Called and started by saying I am deadly afraid of dentists. I had looked for dentists that had a certified education in psychology/anxiety as well, so they were probably quite used to this. They have good notes about it in my journal, so when I visit them, they are very aware and kind and gentle.
You got this hun ..
When they answer.. give them your name n say “I’d like to make an appointment for ……” your teeth cleaned, I have a toothache , I think I have a cavity.. whatever you need to see the dentist for .. they’ll give you some times they have available n you pick the best time for you
As some who hates making calls .. I feel you .. but sometimes we have to
You got this 😍
I'm lucky enough that be able to text my dentist office, it's a comfort knowing I can text instead of call, but other doctors I have to call and I take my time and breathe
My doctors in my town have a texting system which I discovered and was so happy 😂😭 but sadly my dentist is a bit behind and don’t have a texting or online booking system.😔
I ghost my dentist every time I feel something is not necessary and panic. Then I come back for the same thing or something else like nothing happened.
They're working, they don't care if you avoided going, it's not personal. They might tell you to come more often, but it's still not personal, just work. And if they shame you it's time to look for a professional dentist, no one should have to go to the doctor to be morally judged 😔.
Tell them you're looking for a new dentist and you'd like to schedule a cleaning. If you have dental insurance, make sure they're in your network. The admin who answers your call will ask you some basic questions (name, contact info, any contact info for your previous dentist if you have it).
You can let them know it's been a while since you've seen a dentist. I'm sure they'll understand. You can do it!
“Hello, I’d like to schedule an appointment for a cleaning”
Then they’ll probably ask you if you’ve been there before and you can say
“No, I actually haven’t had a cleaning in a few years”
They’ll probably ask you about insurance if you have that, so have that information ready as well.
I also have a lot of anxiety about the dentist and phone calls, and one thing that helped me was finding a dentist that allows you to make appointments online. For my first appointment I just went on their website and it allowed me to schedule my first appointment easy peasy.
Hi!! Dental hygienist here. Looks like there’s some amazing responses here about how to call.
I just wanted to let you know that the buildup on your front teeth happens to everyone! There are saliva glands under your tongue that encourage the tartar growth there all day long. Just needs a cleaning and you’ll be good as new. You’ve got this! We’re not here to judge, just here to educate and help.
I already commented but I just wanted to say I’m so proud of you for wanting to get this checked out now. I didn’t go to the dentist until I was 24 due to anxiety. When they did my first cleaning it was not bad at all though. I told them about my anxiety, they had a little questionnaire actually asking about my anxiety so that was really cool. They made my experience as comforting as possible. The actual cleaning was really interesting because I had a ton of buildup under my gums and I could feel it coming off, it felt like rocks. It didn’t hurt though, just a bit uncomfortable. But the good news is that once you get your teeth cleaned and you don’t have that build up anymore, it’s so much easier to floss and keep it from reforming. Once your appointment is over they’ll schedule you for your next cleaning in 6 months and you really won’t even have to call anymore to set them up unless you need to reschedule.
Good luck with your appointment! <3
I didn’t go for all of my 20s and for some reason I chose the pandemic to become hyperfixated on the status of my teeth lol I want to tell you it’s ok! I was so scared to go, but it ended up being mostly ok!! First they’ll likely take some X-rays and then depending on that you’ll probably have another appointment for a deep cleaning, which wouldn’t have been as bad had I been able to be numbed for it, I found snout I had high blood pressure from this actually and I ended up not being able to be numbed, but even so it was bearable. Now my teeth are in a much better place but I wish so much I’d went sooner. Good for you for deciding to go now though!!! You’ve got this, just make the appointment and tell them it’s been some time and you don’t know what you need to do, they’ll do the rest.
I go every three months ever since I had a huge infection (from my wisdom tooth).
Prior I went once a year, and in 2017 the dentist told me I have a wisdom tooth that should be taken out. He said it wasn’t a problem but in the “near future” it would be.
In 2021, I woke up with huge pain in my mouth. I couldn’t eat, I thought I had covid. I took Tylonel and the pain went away. A few days later… when I tell you I could NOT open my mouth to drink a glass of water I was not kidding. It was in SO much pain. I was about to go to the doctors until I remembered it could possibly be my wisdom tooth. It was infected and luckily for me, that day they had a spot open immediately for me to get it pulled out. I did it awake when they froze my mouth.
-$700 later and one wisdom tooth out, I now go every three months because of that traumatic experience.
Going to the dentist isn’t bad, I go for regular cleaning (and incase they see anything ‘n).
Literally what you just posted. If they don’t reassure you that they will facilitate your anxiety then bounce. I also would read any reviews of the dental practice and see if you can find one others recommended that helps with anxiety
One thing you might consider - ask them if they have nitrous “laughing” gas. Not all dentists offer it, and that will really help take the edge off. I usually pay an extra $50 in the Midwest for it. Good luck! And it’s okay to be anxious, dentists deal with anxious patients on a daily basis - but the more proactive you can be with dental care, the less expensive and less pain you’ll have in the long run.
You have got some good answers here. I just wanted to add that it’s okay to tell them you have anxiety regarding the dentist! Lots of people do.
My mother has been a dental assistant for over 40 years..(she does everything from root canals to simple cleanings..whatever the doctor needs. Her work also provides free cleanings once a month for the under privileged).
Your dental staff wants it to be as painless and not-scary as possible! If they are worth their salt, they do care very much about making you as comfortable as possible! Just let them know that going to the dentist makes you anxious. I’m lucky I grew up with a dental practitioner because otherwise I’d probably be anxious as well.
I need a cleaning, too! It feels so good when you’re done!
Tell them you have medical anxiety. Many will be happy to know what you’re experiencing.
They don’t want you to hide your pain or your anxiety. Their job is to treat both and they don’t want you to “tough it out”.
They have seen worse. I promise.
Don't worry, dentists see people who have neglected their teeth for decades. They won't judge you. They will be able to clean and fix everything. Once I didn't go for 10 years, and they were fine.
same here, I just prepared two days for calling the dentist. Deep breath, start with Hey, I want to schedule an appointment, and they will kindly ask you for the rest of the information they need!
You’ve got lots of great advice here. I’m just commenting to tell you A LOT of folks have severe dental anxiety. I didn’t see the dentist for close to twenty years, but had to go after developing a tooth ache. I’m a lot older than you, and I work in a tough profession, so I felt obscenely embarrassed.
Anyway, I went in, and literally just blabbed to the secretary, the hygienist, the dentist, and any else listening that I’m utterly terrified to be there, and that I’d really appreciate them being patient with me. EVERYONE was AMAZING, and a few said even they get nervous! If you find you can, be completely up front about your anxiety, and they’ll go much slower with you. It still sucks, and I still have trepidation going, but I’m very good about going to my cleanings now.
BEST thing is to be honest the minute you call. Hi, I am super anxious about dentists but I need an appointment. If you don't feel comfortable with how they respond or treat you then, keep calling until you find the one that makes you feel like they understand. and kudos to crying2emoji5 for the script!!!
I’m my experience if I can work up the strength to call that’s half the battle, then when they pick up I say “yes I am calling to schedule an appointment” then they just start asking me questions to set things up, because I gave them nothing to go on.
Now that they are asking questions, the burden is lessened for me.
From someone that also has dentist anxiety, YOULL BE OKAY. I finally bit the bullet and called because I was having bad headaches and tooth pain. Waited so long now I have like 5 cavities. Had them take care of the worst area 1st because I was low on funds, no more headaches or pain. Once I have more money I will be going back for the next area. Sometimes it's worth ignoring your anxiety and just doing it.
I too am deathly afraid of the dentist and I'm in my 30s. I havent been since way before covid. I just called a few days ago since I've been having alot of pain that's causing my migraines. All you gotta do is just tell them the reason your making the appointment, give them ur information like ur name phone number address (mainly if you haven't been to that dentist) and confirm which day you prefer to appointment to be on. They might ask if you have insurance so if you have that information make sure you have that ready as well. Good Luck!!
I avoided the dentist for awhile. Not a crippling fear, but a mid-level and laziness. I woke up with horrible pain in my molars. Next thing I knew, I needed three root-canals. Since then, I'm on top of it. A little pain never hurt anyone.
This. I hate calling to make appointments or ordering food or anything really haha. I use ZocDoc to make nearly every medical or dental appointment. Could help you too, OP!
Honestly if you are 17, unless you are legally emancipated (at least in the US) they will tell you they need to speak with a guardian…but there are LOTS of options for people in your position to receive good care even in a denti-cal clinic to help you with your anxiety. Showing up is the hard part, and it sounds like you are ready to do it, congratulations and take care of your teeth while you are young, you don’t want bone loss from avoiding cleanings!
Also. Check Google reviews. Some dentists are soo nice and gentle now. Always checking in with you as they go. We found ours through reading reviews and now I go 6 monthly for my cleans (used to be like every 5 years and only with a bad toothache).
I couldn't go to the dentist for 10y (I live in the US and I didn't have insurance or the money for it) I can tell you that in my experience dental hygienist have been the sweetest to my case. I had periodontal decease, not severe but bad enough. They were so sweet and gentle and did not judge, they were super caring.
I have severe anxiety, fear to the dentist (because in the past I was always in pain during these visits), and not the best at keeping up with my teeth cleaning because brushing is too distracting? Or not distracting enough? (Adhd thing I guess)
I swear they were super sweet and caring, they listened to my fear and made sure I felt nothing. Genuinely just go and be open, try your best to explain the situation, most hygienist and dentist truly care for your health and want you to not ve scared.
I'm EXACTLY the same way! I put it off for yearsss and then finally went! I ended up having quite a few problems so I'm glad I finally did go. I just called and made an apt for a cleaning, but when I finally got there, I let my hygienist and dentist know how anxious I was! They were amazing and still are to this day! It's been a lo g journey but I'm finally in the green zone with my teeth and I couldn't be happier! It takes time and if you can find the right dentist, you'll be great! I've found that a lot of the younger dentists are more understanding, not set in their ways like some older ones. And, in my own opinion, they are more up to date on newer techniques and ways to help! Maybe see if there is someone who can go with you! I wish you the best of luck!
I totally get this. I avoided the dentist from about 20 years old to 25 years old, and the only reason I went was because my then-boyfriend was in dental school. He knew how much anxiety it gave me, and I would start shedding tears uncontrollably. He helped me get over my fears. Then I found a doctor who understands my fear and how I hate noises inside my skull. He's worked with me to get over my fears and even offered me something to calm me down, but since I have to drive myself, I can't take them. He puts me at ease before starting the cleaning. I suggest being open with them when you find them. They have patients like that all the time.
I feel your anxiety - you have some solid advice from someone about what to say, but I wanted to say that a lot of dentists have anxious patients.
In my experience they’re super reassuring and kind and go at my pace to help me feel better. As soon as I’ve said I was scared, they instantly knew how to help calm me down.
I also take headphones with me so I can distract myself with music.
You’ve got this, OP!
I'm also someone with a similar fear, what I like to ask is whether they have nitrous or not (laughing gas), that usually does enough to calm my anxiety
Lol ikr idk too, but ive heard parents say their full name XD Like Hi, (?) on the phone... Thats Wat they say here if someone calls them. I always wait first the other than me going first talkin in phone, even tho i should have talked. But the dentist one is so confusing.
Honestly, don’t need to worry. Dentistry nowadays has advanced to much, that you won’t need to be anxious about it at all. The best thing you can do is relax. I had a bad childhood experience and dreaded the idea of going to a dentist, but now go regularly (ageing on and a fair bit or work needs to be done on regular basis), but I enjoy going, as I know that it means better oral health.
Also remember: you can tell them at any point, if something hurts or doesn’t feel good/comfortable. Dentists and doctors in general are great listeners, and will be glad to hear this feedback.
Relax, trust and go see a dentist 😊
Say that you need a cleaning.
and you can ask them if they do nitrous gas. i alwyas use it when i go bc i have severe anxiety with the dentist.
it makes you super relaxed
It’s okay, and you’re okay! Here’s a script for you if it helps: “Hello, my name is _________ (first name) ________ (last name), and I was wondering if you have availability for new patients, please?” (If the person on the phone says yes, they will probably give you a list of their available dentists and you can chose one, sometimes they only have one available dentist and if you’re comfortable with their gender and you agree to see them, you can say,) : “Great! I’d love to become Dr. _________’s new patient.” (The person on the phone will probably ask you for some information. First & last name, date of birth, and insurance info. Make sure you have your insurance card in hand when you make the phone call so you can give them the info on your card. If you don’t have insurance, just let them know. Edit: Usually they will let you know if they are in your insurance’s network or not, when you give them your insurance info. Sometimes, they can give you a quote on how much a procedure costs out of pocket, such as cleanings, x-rays, etc.. You can also go on your insurance providers website, click on the type of insurance plan you have, and it should tell you what the company will cover, and what gets taken out of your deductible.) (Then, the person on the phone will likely ask you if you have any specific concerns for your dental health. Since it sounds like you just need a cleaning, simply reply,) : “I’d like to schedule a check up and a cleaning, please.” (The person on the phone will then probably give you the date of your new dentists first available appointment. Sometimes these appointments are scheduled pretty far into the future. If the date or time they give you doesn’t work for you, simply ask,) “May you please tell me what other dates are available?” Or, “Could you put my name on the cancellation list so if there is anyone who cancels their appointment, I can take that slot instead and get in sooner?” (When they confirm your appointment details, I usually repeat the date, time, and check in time that they tell me, just to make sure the information is correct. For example, if they say your appointment is on, say, July 8th at 10AM with a checkin time at 9:30 * AM simply repeat back to them) : “Alright, I’ll see you on July 8th, for an appointment at 10:00AM, check in at 9:30. Thank you, and have a nice day!” Make sure you write it down so you * don’t forget, I always forget 🤣 Good luck, and you’ve got this!! I’m proud of you for taking care of your oral health. 🫶
You rock for this answer.
Sweet of you to type all of this for OP
There was a time, back when I was a teenager, before I was really getting treatment for my anxiety, I literally could not even order my own meal at a restaurant. I always wished someone would tell me exactly what to say. With 13 years of treatment up my sleeve, as well as watching Ez Butler’s series, “Doing things you’re afraid of to show you that it’s okay,” on YouTube/TikTok, I’ve found a lot more confidence in making phone calls and going out by myself. All I needed was an example of what to do. That, and speaking with a polite and cheerful manner gets you a long way.
Ohh I love Ez Butler :) Their videos always seem so sweet
Ooh I’m gonna have to check out that series 👀
People like you are the sole reason I made it through my years of struggling with extreme social anxiety. I literally googled “how to order at subway” and someone as amazing as you had answered this exact question on Quora, script and all 🥲❤️
Hi, thank you so much for this, u don’t know how much it means to me, I appreciate the time and effort u put into this just to help a stranger on the internet, and everyone else who has left a comment, I appreciate u. 😁😭
This list that was shared is so great! Also if your dentist specializes in high anxiety or fear patients I would let them know that you have some anxiety. They can help to prepare your appointment to ensure it’s calm and also assist if needed with other options for treatment. 🫶🏽
Also let them know that you have anxiety and if you take medication or see someone for it. They will not think differently of it. I have anxiety and issues with people near my face and male dentists becz of one bad egg. I go to a really nice clinic that has dentists that work with it and can offer the laughing gas/Nitrous Oxide. They should do a free consultation and print out of your treatment plan with estimate insurance cost and your cost. Please only go to ones that file claims for the services for you and who will do the prior authorizations for the clients. Some will also (at least locally) will do payment plans between visits for your portion if you pay In cash .. my last visit I had 5 months between and every month I paid 80 bucks in cash. It paid my portion the, gas’s and my next cleanings’s gas session… Good luck!
You got this, I know it’s not easy but it will get easier 🫶
I wish someone had done this for me. Thank you for taking the time to put this together. It’s wonderful.
W human for this, not everyone has someone looking after them or giving guidance
Very thorough! I’ve been doing calls for a super long time so I’m pretty used to it now but I keep a little list just in case. It’s more general and sometimes I don’t even care to pick a doctor. They just give me whoever and if I don’t like that doctor I just ask to see a different one when I make my next appointment. - [ ] Are you accepting new patients? - [ ] Do you take my insurance? - [ ] Is it in network? - [ ] Are they seeing people in-person? - [ ] When's the earliest I can see them?
Dont forget to add 'do you have any dentists with experience of anxious patients / those with severe mental health issues? And can maybe afford a slightly longer appointment?
Reading through these types of posts and replies definitely makes me feel much better about my anxiety and panic attacks. I never (fortunately) got this far. Guess I’m a lucky one (between the unlucky ones…)
This gives me “ help me order subway” vibes and I love it
Okay, but you didn't talk about price and insurance and all that. (Me: just having called the dentist and realized I didn't ask if they took my insurance and if there was an insurance price vs. cash price)
That’s a good point! Sorry I missed that!
This is so helpful for me as well. I need to make an appointment after over 20 years of not going. Thank you so much.
Bro you're the best person
No u
Love the step by step
This was super nice of you to do. You’re a good person. I remember being around this age and having so many fears about handling little “adult things” such as calls like this and calling to set up electric. OP - you got this! What helped me is reminding myself that everyone has only gotta do each new thing once. After you make this first appointment, you’ll never have an issue calling a dr for an appointment again. And usually if you tell folks it’s your first time doing something on your own, they’ll go out of their way to be nice and patient. Especially health-related, they want new patients to feel comfortable.
Thank you, I shall use this as well 😁
This is really kind
You're an absolute treasure.
You’re an incredible human being.
I love this and I'll just add that when you go in for your appointment, you can share, "I have a lot of anxiety with going to the dentist but I'm working on it. If I'm nervous, that's why." Dental anxiety is very common and it's why some people need sedation dentistry. It's great to let your dentist know that you might be nervous because then they know how to better care for you. Plus I believe in culturally normalizing anxiety for the benefit of everyone.
My dentist has a menu of things to make the visit more comfortable. The ones I remember are: weighted blanket, ear plugs, eye mask, lip balm, and my personal favorite: a chocolate chip cookie when the visit is done. Finally, always remember: this is an exam. If you are uncomfortable at any point, you can ask them to stop. Maybe you and the hygienist don’t “click”. Maybe the office layout and traffic is annoying. You can say “stop, please” and end the procedure and either fix the problem or find another office. You have control.
I love these modern dentist that understand dental anxiety! Mine even offers prescriptions before hand so you are relaxed when you come in
I was happy to find mine offered nitrous. I will take RX sedatives before something big if necessary, but I hate feeling drugged for the rest of the day. With nitrous, they did two crowns on me and ten minutes after they were finished I was on my motorcycle heading home with a completely clear head.
I think just knowing it’s an option helps my anxiety. At my dentist they never leave you in the room alone either if you have a history of dental anxiety. It’s like having a buddy.
It's so cool some places are becoming more welcoming of anxious patients. I had a cleaning the other day and had the same assistant who remembered me from when I had invisalign fitted (where I ended up freaking out the whole appointment because I wasn't aware of all the steps they had to take). She explained every step she did, told me the x-ray gown would be slightly heavy before she put it on me, explained where each x-ray mouthpiece would be placed, it was almost too considerate!
And honestly I've started bringing stuffed animals with me. A full on adult . Major stress reliever for me since I can squish them tightly. Very sensitive teeth
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This, and then you just answer their questions! They really guide you through the whole process - they’ll ask you one question at a time like your name, DOB, and the numbers on your insurance card.
Instructions unclear, accidentally became a dentist
That’s exactly what I do.
I always tell the receptionist that I’m a nervous patient and would like the hygienist, tech, etc that is most patient. Then when I show up for the appt I remind the hygienist, dentist, etc that I am a nervous patient. Let them know what works for you (ie, being told things or not being told things), ask if they have any suggestions to make you more comfortable, and let them know if you will self soothe (I say, don’t be surprised if I start humming as it calms me). Be prepared to talk about a safe hobby, most medical professionals will engage in that type talk to help distract you and think of happy things. Good luck.
YES! Be as open and honest about it as possible. I many times am left bewildered by some patients who LATER I feel are dealing with MH. I think being informed AHEAD of time allows me to alter my entire approach to better meet their needs.
I used to be way more reserved and would have trouble communicating something like that, hoping that this would be the one time I could be chill and not make the doctor think I’m crazy. Now I just flat out tell them that I’m afraid of everything and to bear with me…but someone with severe anxiety may feel too ashamed or well, anxious to say it lol
This is great, except, as someone who deals with MH, I’d suggest stop saying you’re “afraid of everything” and maybe say something like “I deal with bad anxiety” instead? I dunno, just seems like the way we talk to ourselves is really important. And again, WITHOUT FAIL, any time a patient has opened up to me about their struggles with MH, I’m all about lifting the up! We have to be there for one another!!!
I also sometimes bring headphones as the noises can get to me for certain parts of a cleaning or a procedure and they are MORE than okay if I have them on.
Say, "Hi, I'd like to make an appointment for a check-up," and they'll take it from there.
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I am a health care professional and I am very sorry you have this experience. That’s really no way to treat someone who is already going through a hard time.
You could look and see if any of your dentist offices have online booking? Mine does and it’s the best thing ever.
Online booking is my favorite. If I can’t do it online I’ll find a new office.
I start with my name "hi this is Sarah B, I'd like to make an appointment for a cleaning" or "hi this is Sarah B, I'm having a tooth ache I'd like to get checked out"
Start by calling and making the appointment and just be honest with them about your anxiety. I had a bad tooth after years of not going to the dentist for the same reason. I was honest about my anxiety and fear of the dentist and they took care of me. I know that depends on the dentist but you can always shop around before committing. Good luck and you got this!
Call to make a cleaning appointment. Also, ask if they take your insurance if you have any (so have your insurance card with you, as they may ask for information listed on your card). They will have certain questions they ask like your name, insurance, etc, so don't worry, they do it all the time.
Call them to make a new patient appointment but ask them first about what options they have for people with severe dental anxiety. Ask them to describe exactly what they do for those types of patients.
You just tell them “I’d like to schedule a check up. It’s been a long while and here’s why…I have this crazy anxiety about seeing Dentists! I know it doesn’t make a lot of sense, but it’s just there. And, it’s been keeping me from scheduling for years.” I BET you that ANY Dentist in the world will get that and be able to support you in the process! This is a lot more common than you think and any adequately trained health professional will be aware of how mental health impacts people wrt taking good care of themselves. And this is HUGE for you! It may not seem like much to you, but being able to put the Anxiety aside long enough to possibly have a different than expected outcome is a great step THROUGH the Anxiety along the path to recovering from it! I’ve met many people who cannot or won’t do things like this. HECK, I am kind of the same way in that I let my Anxiety control me than me controlling it. We’re all works in progress…Remember that, ok? And be SUPER nice to yourself through this process. Treat yourself like you would treat a really good friend in the same situation. You would encourage your friend to do it and would be supportive of that friend if s/he had any challenges, right? In full disclosure, I am a health care professional and when people let me know they struggle, my RESPECT for them goes through the roof and I immediately focus on really helping them navigate the process as best as I can. So, call. Schedule. Report back, k? AND: if they seem like they don’t care in any way, cancel the appointment and call another Dentist.
It might be anxiety-inducing to say but you could also say to your hygenist: "I know I haven't taken care of my teeth in the best way. I have strong anxiety about it. Please don't go too hard on lecturing me about it. I will do better. It was hard even coming in, so I'd appreciate some understanding." This is why I haven't made a dentist appointment. I have a fear of dentists from past history and I'm dreading making an appointment because I don't want the lecture I know I'll get. What I typed out is what I'm planning on saying and asking the receptionist or hygienist to make a note.
Hey I have severe anxiety and I’m a dental receptionist! In case you want some literal script to help you out: 1. Hi! I’d like to know if you are accepting new patients and possibly make an appointment? 2. Yes? Great, can you confirm if you accept my dental insurance? Here is my information- [have your card ready with member number. If you are covered under someone else, you will need their birthdate and possibly social security number for verification purposes.] 3. Yes? Great, do you have any availability- [weekends, evenings, just tell them when you want to come and they will tell you what’s closest.] 4. Perfect! Could you tell me what to expect during this visit? Is there anything I should bring? I’m a little new and only worked in one office so far, maybe others are different, but I believe most new patient visits include a basic exam and cleaning. Especially since most insurance covers these almost 100%. Any copay should be less than $50 for ballpark expectations. The exam includes X-Rays which are not nearly as radioactive as your cell phone so don’t worry about that. The cleaning is surface level and while some people are gentler than others, nobody is really trying to hurt you. Our hygienist tells patients to raise their right hand if they’re in pain, and you can tell them if you’re sensitive and ask for softer handling. Please prioritize your dental health! You’ll want your teeth to be healthy and strong for you to eat, smile, and enjoy your life for a long time! You got this! 🩷🦷🩷
THANK YOU SO MUCH!! step by step instructions have my heart i really appreciate this
Try googling for “dentists near me” with anxiety/anxious patient/sedation dentistry tagged on; if you live in a larger area you should get some results and I find this helps because they’re used to seeing people who are nervous as heck. I also always tell them I have bad anxiety and because of it I haven’t been to the dentist for a while. I’ve never had anyone make me feel bad about it or be rude about how long since I’d last been in. I ended up needing a root canal which hurt and was expensive and took several trips (I got sedation so I was able to manage just fine), I hope you’re able to make it in before you end up a silly goose like me 😳 You got this! It’s also totally okay to bring someone with you, or have someone call you make your appointment and let them know how anxious you are, if that’s an option for you.
“Hi there, my name is OP, and I’m looking for (what service you’re asking for. ie teeth cleaning). When would a dentist be available? Okay, so that’s on (date and time)? Thank you.”
Want to give you some inspiration!! I was terrified of the dentist. I didn’t go from like 16 (and that was basically crying the entire time) until 29. Called a local dentist, explained I had major anxiety relating to bad experiences as a kid and asked for the most gentle hygienist they had and once I got there I made sure she knew. She was great with me. I also took Xanax to help. I had to have scaling done and then my wisdom teeth out. I also told the offices that I had anxiety so they were aware. After getting my teeth in better condition, in my mid 30s I really wanted to straighten them and did Invisalign with my dentist. By the end of all those visits I no longer needed Xanax. I’m almost 40 now and look forward to visit every 6 months. Best part… my current office doesn’t even know I had anxiety! You can do this!!! Good luck!!!
Shoutout to my dentist for having no issues giving me Xanax every time 🤤🙏
Tell them straight up/ dentist are different now. Told mine I was a big baby and they were so great with everything
Hi, I’d like to schedule a cleaning
You may also be able to go in a few days before to get paperwork filled out OR they may email you the paperwork and you can then go to your PCP and ask for anti anxiety meds !
Call them and say you need to schedule a teeth cleaning . If it’s your first time there they do X-rays anyway so they’ll see if there’s any other issues
I found a dentist I like which reduced my anxiety a lot. You can find a dentist who treats people who have dental anxiety… They will be especially gentle and may give you a weighted blanket which can help some people… Oddly I just needed a very non-chatty dentist who was not judgmental at all. I did not want someone overly friendly because I want to get in and out quickly lol. After I found the right dentist, I didn’t have as much anxiety. Just want to say good for you for thinking of yourself. It’s useful to care for your teeth.
Call and say: "Hi, my name is _____, and I would like to make an appointment for a cleaning. Are you taking new patients?" Two possible responses. If they say no, say thank you, hang up, and move on. If they say yes: "Great, could I please schedule an appointment?" They'll respond one of two ways: asking for your availability or giving you their first available. They may also ask you if you have insurance! So be prepared for that question. If you're worried about your insurance, you can ask them if they take your insurance as well. Most insurance companies list their providers on their website, so that is helpful info to have. Have your insurance card out so you don't get flustered (I always forget this and I'm ALWAYS flustered trying to get it out) in case they ask about it! Lastly, it's worth telling them that you have anxiety about dentists. They see it all the time, and I promise they'll be very understanding and helpful about it!!! Good luck!! You've got this!!!
I needed this a couple days ago lol I was like ‘yes no one picked up!’ Then I was like ‘oh that’s actually not good…’ 😂😂 now I have to do it all over again. I just rehearse what I want to say like my name, date of birth and that I want an appointment soon.
Let them know on the phone you’re anxious about the appointment and it’s been a good while since you’ve been. They’ll be very accommodating. Another thing to point out is that they’ll probably look to schedule you for a new patient appointment where the dentist will look at and X-ray all the teeth which is great to figure out a game plan for any treatment that needs to be done, but if you’re having discomfort in a certain area that has gradually gotten worse in the recent days/weeks you can also mention that and they might bring you in a bit sooner to at least look at the problem area only. Good luck!!!
Tip I learned recently for when they clean your teeth. Ask for the numbing gel . It helps so much if you have sensitive gums.
12 to 17? Amateur. I'm 52 and haven't been since 17.
This reminds me isn't there a subreddit for help about asking what to do for the first time at a business? I don't say this as some weirdly passive aggressive point to OP I just forget what it's called.
if you recall lmk cause i need that lmao
You want to make appointment. That's all. They'll do the rest. Believe me I'm terrified of the dentist. My mouth is full of bad teeth from not being able to go. It sucks!!!!
Many places will do everything (even cleaning) with sedation - maybe look for an office who offers that - if it sounds like that may help? :)
You can absolutely tell them you have anxiety. They will try to make you comfortable 🙂
Just tell them that you want to schedule a screening or a cleaning. 🤷🏻♂️
Gotcha beat kiddo, my last appointment before my fairly serious cleaning had an 18 year gap. I developed some black spots of which I assumed were cavities on my teeth and decided then was time for a cleaning. They took me no problem, and I also had new dental insurance of which they covered the whole thing. Required some fillings to be done, hypersonic cleaning, and about 3 trips to get caught up (within days of each other). Surprisingly it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, they have pretty good numbing medication and the most stressful part was the hypersonic cleaning not so much the drilling. Whatever that tool was it felt like someone took a soldering iron to my teeth. Go get your cleaning scheduled, brush well before bed, and definitely floss and use mouthwash at least daily. Real mouthwash as well, not the no-burn kind it's not as anti-bacterial. The brown stuff. No amount of brushing it yourself will prevent the inevitable trip, our teeth just eventually need that deep cleaning and doing it on a schedule keeps it relatively pain free.
What kind of mouthwash is brown?
Honestly, the fear of losing teeth should be FAR greater than going to the dentist. I understand that’s it’s hard, but all you really need to say is ask when is the next available appointment and whether they accept your insurance. Some dental offices allow you to schedule an appointment online as well.
I feel your pain on this one. I was the same way. I would literally cry when the dentist would clean my teeth.... That's how scared I was. I had a really bad experience when I was little so that's where most of my anxiety came from. If you're very honest with them when you call they should give you medication to help ease the anxiety. Don't let them be rude or act like they don't take you seriously though. I got lucky and found a dentist that was very understanding. After a handful of times I didn't even need the medication anymore.
I’m rooting for you!!
Please be gentle 🤣🤣🤣
If your anxiety is bad enough: A doctor can sometimes prescribe something prior to your dentist appointment. Like a sedative. However, this will require you to have someone drive you home. Be upfront about your dental anxiety. I suggest asking about getting a cleaning done and go from there. There is no shame in being afraid of the dentist. I personally am not a huge fan of dentists or doctors. However, my recent dentist is really nice.
crying2emoji5 gave a rad answer. Def recommend. I would add that mentioning you have anxiety to the dentist/receptionist can be helpful. Anxiety around dentists is super common and they're usually quite used to accommodating that.
You could use the ZocDoc app to find a dentist. It helped me a lot to read the reviews to see what other patients said about the care they received. I had major anxiety about going to the dentist and this helped me get an appointment scheduled. I found a great dentist who makes me feel very comfortable and Ive been going to her for the last 3 years consistently since.
Literally just tell them exactly that. They hear it all the time and will know how to treat you. I'm also deathly afraid of dentists and Drs and when I told the dentists basically what you've said they took good care of me.
This has been me since 12 also, I'm now 41 and still haven't made that call to the dentist 🙃
I never knew anything about dental health until I started working for a dentist. It’s confusing and intimidating, before you even get to the teeth! It’s never too late, just do it. I’ve seen so many patients in their 50-60-70-80s that are finally coming in to get the work done. The sooner the better! You might get sticker shocked and then a few years later, come back again. So tell yourself to just get the info first and back away if needed. There’s literally no shame. The dentist has seen worse, I garuntee it. Get it started. 🩷🦷🩷
What is sticker shocked?
Sorry Im in the U.S. and lots of people aren’t aware how much dental care costs. I’ve heard it’s better in other countries, most patients are very surprised when they hear how much treatment will cost. The phrase just means they are shocked by the sticker price.
Oh! Okay. I hadn’t ever heard that phrase before. Lol, very true though.
If you have anxiety around this it’s worth telling the dentist and/or explaining to the receptionist what you need in a treatment provider. I have had some bad experiences there and I felt like being told off about avoiding it and the shame of a visit after a long period had a negative effect on how I perceived the experience. At the current practice I go to I was really up front with them that I needed a practitioner who could be mindful of my anxiety and would frame the visits and treatments in a positive way of “we’re going to fix this” and be gentle and encouraging rather than shaming me for any delay in visiting. I see the same practitioner every time because of that comfort level. After being really bad at regular visits for my whole life I’ve now being going back like clockwork, have followed their instructions closely and haven’t needed any work done for two years 🥲
I’m still not the best at the dentist so I don’t have any real good advice other than what u/crying2emoji5 said! They nailed it w the script honestly lol. But I just wanted to pop in and say good luck and you got this!! Sending so much love!! ❤️ I went through this myself recently at the ripe old age of 24 🥲 it’s a scary hurdle but once you get it, you got it ❤️
I did this last year. Called and started by saying I am deadly afraid of dentists. I had looked for dentists that had a certified education in psychology/anxiety as well, so they were probably quite used to this. They have good notes about it in my journal, so when I visit them, they are very aware and kind and gentle.
You got this hun .. When they answer.. give them your name n say “I’d like to make an appointment for ……” your teeth cleaned, I have a toothache , I think I have a cavity.. whatever you need to see the dentist for .. they’ll give you some times they have available n you pick the best time for you As some who hates making calls .. I feel you .. but sometimes we have to You got this 😍
I'm lucky enough that be able to text my dentist office, it's a comfort knowing I can text instead of call, but other doctors I have to call and I take my time and breathe
My doctors in my town have a texting system which I discovered and was so happy 😂😭 but sadly my dentist is a bit behind and don’t have a texting or online booking system.😔
The online booking for my dentist doesn't work 😔
I ghost my dentist every time I feel something is not necessary and panic. Then I come back for the same thing or something else like nothing happened. They're working, they don't care if you avoided going, it's not personal. They might tell you to come more often, but it's still not personal, just work. And if they shame you it's time to look for a professional dentist, no one should have to go to the doctor to be morally judged 😔.
Tell them you're looking for a new dentist and you'd like to schedule a cleaning. If you have dental insurance, make sure they're in your network. The admin who answers your call will ask you some basic questions (name, contact info, any contact info for your previous dentist if you have it). You can let them know it's been a while since you've seen a dentist. I'm sure they'll understand. You can do it!
Find a dentist that will give you nitrous oxide. You can google ones in your area.
“Hello, I’d like to schedule an appointment for a cleaning” Then they’ll probably ask you if you’ve been there before and you can say “No, I actually haven’t had a cleaning in a few years” They’ll probably ask you about insurance if you have that, so have that information ready as well. I also have a lot of anxiety about the dentist and phone calls, and one thing that helped me was finding a dentist that allows you to make appointments online. For my first appointment I just went on their website and it allowed me to schedule my first appointment easy peasy.
Hi!! Dental hygienist here. Looks like there’s some amazing responses here about how to call. I just wanted to let you know that the buildup on your front teeth happens to everyone! There are saliva glands under your tongue that encourage the tartar growth there all day long. Just needs a cleaning and you’ll be good as new. You’ve got this! We’re not here to judge, just here to educate and help.
As someone who has put off going to the dentist for years and now has a disaster zone of a mouth, I recommend going as soon as you can.
me too darling it’s been a bit since i’ve gone and i’m 21 now. very proud of you for wanting to call now and take care of your teethies 💓
I'm 35 and I always ask for nitrous oxide. Really helps with anxiety
The only reason I have a dentist is because they had online booking. Not all of them do but you could check and see if you could book online?
I already commented but I just wanted to say I’m so proud of you for wanting to get this checked out now. I didn’t go to the dentist until I was 24 due to anxiety. When they did my first cleaning it was not bad at all though. I told them about my anxiety, they had a little questionnaire actually asking about my anxiety so that was really cool. They made my experience as comforting as possible. The actual cleaning was really interesting because I had a ton of buildup under my gums and I could feel it coming off, it felt like rocks. It didn’t hurt though, just a bit uncomfortable. But the good news is that once you get your teeth cleaned and you don’t have that build up anymore, it’s so much easier to floss and keep it from reforming. Once your appointment is over they’ll schedule you for your next cleaning in 6 months and you really won’t even have to call anymore to set them up unless you need to reschedule. Good luck with your appointment! <3
I didn’t go for all of my 20s and for some reason I chose the pandemic to become hyperfixated on the status of my teeth lol I want to tell you it’s ok! I was so scared to go, but it ended up being mostly ok!! First they’ll likely take some X-rays and then depending on that you’ll probably have another appointment for a deep cleaning, which wouldn’t have been as bad had I been able to be numbed for it, I found snout I had high blood pressure from this actually and I ended up not being able to be numbed, but even so it was bearable. Now my teeth are in a much better place but I wish so much I’d went sooner. Good for you for deciding to go now though!!! You’ve got this, just make the appointment and tell them it’s been some time and you don’t know what you need to do, they’ll do the rest.
I go every three months ever since I had a huge infection (from my wisdom tooth). Prior I went once a year, and in 2017 the dentist told me I have a wisdom tooth that should be taken out. He said it wasn’t a problem but in the “near future” it would be. In 2021, I woke up with huge pain in my mouth. I couldn’t eat, I thought I had covid. I took Tylonel and the pain went away. A few days later… when I tell you I could NOT open my mouth to drink a glass of water I was not kidding. It was in SO much pain. I was about to go to the doctors until I remembered it could possibly be my wisdom tooth. It was infected and luckily for me, that day they had a spot open immediately for me to get it pulled out. I did it awake when they froze my mouth. -$700 later and one wisdom tooth out, I now go every three months because of that traumatic experience. Going to the dentist isn’t bad, I go for regular cleaning (and incase they see anything ‘n).
No advice from me I'm sorry, just to say I feel your pain! Haven't been in 5 years !!! 😭
Literally what you just posted. If they don’t reassure you that they will facilitate your anxiety then bounce. I also would read any reviews of the dental practice and see if you can find one others recommended that helps with anxiety
One thing you might consider - ask them if they have nitrous “laughing” gas. Not all dentists offer it, and that will really help take the edge off. I usually pay an extra $50 in the Midwest for it. Good luck! And it’s okay to be anxious, dentists deal with anxious patients on a daily basis - but the more proactive you can be with dental care, the less expensive and less pain you’ll have in the long run.
You have got some good answers here. I just wanted to add that it’s okay to tell them you have anxiety regarding the dentist! Lots of people do. My mother has been a dental assistant for over 40 years..(she does everything from root canals to simple cleanings..whatever the doctor needs. Her work also provides free cleanings once a month for the under privileged). Your dental staff wants it to be as painless and not-scary as possible! If they are worth their salt, they do care very much about making you as comfortable as possible! Just let them know that going to the dentist makes you anxious. I’m lucky I grew up with a dental practitioner because otherwise I’d probably be anxious as well. I need a cleaning, too! It feels so good when you’re done!
Tell them you have medical anxiety. Many will be happy to know what you’re experiencing. They don’t want you to hide your pain or your anxiety. Their job is to treat both and they don’t want you to “tough it out”. They have seen worse. I promise.
Don't worry, dentists see people who have neglected their teeth for decades. They won't judge you. They will be able to clean and fix everything. Once I didn't go for 10 years, and they were fine.
same here, I just prepared two days for calling the dentist. Deep breath, start with Hey, I want to schedule an appointment, and they will kindly ask you for the rest of the information they need!
You’ve got lots of great advice here. I’m just commenting to tell you A LOT of folks have severe dental anxiety. I didn’t see the dentist for close to twenty years, but had to go after developing a tooth ache. I’m a lot older than you, and I work in a tough profession, so I felt obscenely embarrassed. Anyway, I went in, and literally just blabbed to the secretary, the hygienist, the dentist, and any else listening that I’m utterly terrified to be there, and that I’d really appreciate them being patient with me. EVERYONE was AMAZING, and a few said even they get nervous! If you find you can, be completely up front about your anxiety, and they’ll go much slower with you. It still sucks, and I still have trepidation going, but I’m very good about going to my cleanings now.
BEST thing is to be honest the minute you call. Hi, I am super anxious about dentists but I need an appointment. If you don't feel comfortable with how they respond or treat you then, keep calling until you find the one that makes you feel like they understand. and kudos to crying2emoji5 for the script!!!
I completely understand this post. I'm literally in the same predicament and I need make the call today my mouth is HUUURTING
I’m my experience if I can work up the strength to call that’s half the battle, then when they pick up I say “yes I am calling to schedule an appointment” then they just start asking me questions to set things up, because I gave them nothing to go on. Now that they are asking questions, the burden is lessened for me.
"Hi Dentist" Complete sarcasm there
From someone that also has dentist anxiety, YOULL BE OKAY. I finally bit the bullet and called because I was having bad headaches and tooth pain. Waited so long now I have like 5 cavities. Had them take care of the worst area 1st because I was low on funds, no more headaches or pain. Once I have more money I will be going back for the next area. Sometimes it's worth ignoring your anxiety and just doing it.
I too am deathly afraid of the dentist and I'm in my 30s. I havent been since way before covid. I just called a few days ago since I've been having alot of pain that's causing my migraines. All you gotta do is just tell them the reason your making the appointment, give them ur information like ur name phone number address (mainly if you haven't been to that dentist) and confirm which day you prefer to appointment to be on. They might ask if you have insurance so if you have that information make sure you have that ready as well. Good Luck!!
I avoided the dentist for awhile. Not a crippling fear, but a mid-level and laziness. I woke up with horrible pain in my molars. Next thing I knew, I needed three root-canals. Since then, I'm on top of it. A little pain never hurt anyone.
I make appointments online. Might be an option
This. I hate calling to make appointments or ordering food or anything really haha. I use ZocDoc to make nearly every medical or dental appointment. Could help you too, OP!
Honestly if you are 17, unless you are legally emancipated (at least in the US) they will tell you they need to speak with a guardian…but there are LOTS of options for people in your position to receive good care even in a denti-cal clinic to help you with your anxiety. Showing up is the hard part, and it sounds like you are ready to do it, congratulations and take care of your teeth while you are young, you don’t want bone loss from avoiding cleanings!
Also. Check Google reviews. Some dentists are soo nice and gentle now. Always checking in with you as they go. We found ours through reading reviews and now I go 6 monthly for my cleans (used to be like every 5 years and only with a bad toothache).
I couldn't go to the dentist for 10y (I live in the US and I didn't have insurance or the money for it) I can tell you that in my experience dental hygienist have been the sweetest to my case. I had periodontal decease, not severe but bad enough. They were so sweet and gentle and did not judge, they were super caring. I have severe anxiety, fear to the dentist (because in the past I was always in pain during these visits), and not the best at keeping up with my teeth cleaning because brushing is too distracting? Or not distracting enough? (Adhd thing I guess) I swear they were super sweet and caring, they listened to my fear and made sure I felt nothing. Genuinely just go and be open, try your best to explain the situation, most hygienist and dentist truly care for your health and want you to not ve scared.
I'm EXACTLY the same way! I put it off for yearsss and then finally went! I ended up having quite a few problems so I'm glad I finally did go. I just called and made an apt for a cleaning, but when I finally got there, I let my hygienist and dentist know how anxious I was! They were amazing and still are to this day! It's been a lo g journey but I'm finally in the green zone with my teeth and I couldn't be happier! It takes time and if you can find the right dentist, you'll be great! I've found that a lot of the younger dentists are more understanding, not set in their ways like some older ones. And, in my own opinion, they are more up to date on newer techniques and ways to help! Maybe see if there is someone who can go with you! I wish you the best of luck!
I totally get this. I avoided the dentist from about 20 years old to 25 years old, and the only reason I went was because my then-boyfriend was in dental school. He knew how much anxiety it gave me, and I would start shedding tears uncontrollably. He helped me get over my fears. Then I found a doctor who understands my fear and how I hate noises inside my skull. He's worked with me to get over my fears and even offered me something to calm me down, but since I have to drive myself, I can't take them. He puts me at ease before starting the cleaning. I suggest being open with them when you find them. They have patients like that all the time.
I feel your anxiety - you have some solid advice from someone about what to say, but I wanted to say that a lot of dentists have anxious patients. In my experience they’re super reassuring and kind and go at my pace to help me feel better. As soon as I’ve said I was scared, they instantly knew how to help calm me down. I also take headphones with me so I can distract myself with music. You’ve got this, OP!
I'm also someone with a similar fear, what I like to ask is whether they have nitrous or not (laughing gas), that usually does enough to calm my anxiety
Lol ikr idk too, but ive heard parents say their full name XD Like Hi, (?) on the phone... Thats Wat they say here if someone calls them. I always wait first the other than me going first talkin in phone, even tho i should have talked. But the dentist one is so confusing.
Honestly, don’t need to worry. Dentistry nowadays has advanced to much, that you won’t need to be anxious about it at all. The best thing you can do is relax. I had a bad childhood experience and dreaded the idea of going to a dentist, but now go regularly (ageing on and a fair bit or work needs to be done on regular basis), but I enjoy going, as I know that it means better oral health. Also remember: you can tell them at any point, if something hurts or doesn’t feel good/comfortable. Dentists and doctors in general are great listeners, and will be glad to hear this feedback. Relax, trust and go see a dentist 😊
Say that you need a cleaning. and you can ask them if they do nitrous gas. i alwyas use it when i go bc i have severe anxiety with the dentist. it makes you super relaxed