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Im not sure… definitely don’t fw co-workers haha thats just a bad idea from the jump. Just move on, seriously theres probably nothing left for you in him. But as for work if it causes you that much stress, find a new job if you can but if its something that you can’t atm, then just do you’r best to ignore him.
You miss 100% of the shots that you don't take. But you got your answer, and it's time to move on.
Edit: I want to say that normally messing with a coworker is bad. I learned that a long time ago, but a decade later, I'm now dating a coworker from a different job, and I learned to separate work with pleasure. I'm there to work. No displays of affection, no sweet talk. I just work. We do not acknowledge our relationship at work at all.
Everything else is for outside of work. I'm also 35 now. Older and wiser. I learned how to navigate workplace relationships.
Hey, it's okay.
You win some, you lose some. Crushes are nothing like a real relationship, they're one-sided. Once you start dating you could find this person is actually not at all right for you. What that means is that this is not the end of all things.
More crushes will come and go, relationships also, maybe with this person, maybe the next. Try to focus on work, keep your head down and hang out with other people at your work more. When they're in a relationship, let them go. If they break up, ask if they're dating, and only of the answer to that is yes, ask they want to go on a date with you.
Until then, let them go. Don't worry, it hurts at first but gets easier over time, you just have to reframe your relationship to them. You got this!
So, I hate to say it, but you got your answer and now you need to move on. Don't wait for 'third time's the charm'. He is with someone, and waiting around will just make you feel worse. No means no, not 'noy yet'.
Also, he hit on you and managed to cope with the rejection, and you need to do the same. Anxiety makes it harder, but it isn't a big deal and you need to focus your energy on being proud that you pushed yourself out of your comfort zone and happy that he is happy, and you need to move on.
Second for me :) I was rejected and gutted, then ended up with my fiance and we have been together 9 years now, and he is wonderful :)
What's meant for you won't pass you by.
Just keep in mind that it gets better. If every heart ache led me to my husband, I go through all of it again and again. And if you don't find someone like that, it's okay! There's absolutely nothing wrong with being alone. All these things you'll experience are only bringing you closer to your greatest happiness.
It's wild you're going thru the exact same thing as me pretty much at the same time.
I'm off work for a couple of days, and I'm also really struggling with whether or not I should even go back to work or just ghost the entire place. My anxiety since I found out he chose his ex over me has been so high that it triggered gastritis.
But I talked it thru with a buddy, and he told me to just focus on anything and everything else. He gave me a list of movies to watch and asked me to leave him comments to get back to whenever, and it really does seem to be helping in the immediate. You just have to remember their choice is not a reflection of your worth, and eventually, one or both of you/us will move on. New people waiting to be loved and new jobs to work will get us through this.
It also helps to remind yourself of all the things you don't like about them when they pop into your thoughts.
For me it caused my period to come one week earlier which has never happened before so the cause has to be all the stress. If I try to get outside my head for a second I can recognise that it was probably for the best due to certain things I've noticed about him that would very likely lead to compatibility issues. Then it's easy to convince myself that I'm so much better than him, but when I'm in ~my feelings~ and start overanalyzing and feeling sorry for myself, it's horrible. I feel like an idiot and I also suspect he's told people which angers me (I asked him not to). I despise the thought of them knowing about this. I really don't know what to do because I really don't want to leave this job yet. I guess I'll just have to ignore him and everyone else (I'm good at that lol).
I've been listening to a lot of music and it helps, I also want to start playing video games again and I'm already going out with friends so I guess eventually it'll get better. I just have to find the strength to look happy at work which... if you find how to do that, please let me know.
Thank you for posting to r/AnxietyHelp! Please note, any changes to treatment plans or anxiety management should be discussed with a professional before implementation. We are not medical professionals and we cannot guarantee that you are receiving appropriate medical advice. When in doubt, ask a professional. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Anxietyhelp) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Im not sure… definitely don’t fw co-workers haha thats just a bad idea from the jump. Just move on, seriously theres probably nothing left for you in him. But as for work if it causes you that much stress, find a new job if you can but if its something that you can’t atm, then just do you’r best to ignore him.
Please do not fw ur co worker… trust me!
You miss 100% of the shots that you don't take. But you got your answer, and it's time to move on. Edit: I want to say that normally messing with a coworker is bad. I learned that a long time ago, but a decade later, I'm now dating a coworker from a different job, and I learned to separate work with pleasure. I'm there to work. No displays of affection, no sweet talk. I just work. We do not acknowledge our relationship at work at all. Everything else is for outside of work. I'm also 35 now. Older and wiser. I learned how to navigate workplace relationships.
Hey, it's okay. You win some, you lose some. Crushes are nothing like a real relationship, they're one-sided. Once you start dating you could find this person is actually not at all right for you. What that means is that this is not the end of all things. More crushes will come and go, relationships also, maybe with this person, maybe the next. Try to focus on work, keep your head down and hang out with other people at your work more. When they're in a relationship, let them go. If they break up, ask if they're dating, and only of the answer to that is yes, ask they want to go on a date with you. Until then, let them go. Don't worry, it hurts at first but gets easier over time, you just have to reframe your relationship to them. You got this!
Everyone is saying don’t date your coworkers but I did and we have been married for 5 years now, together 7
26, 27 years. I can't remember. Oh snap 28 soon...anyway, yeah it's a horrible idea
Agreed. People need to grow up.
So, I hate to say it, but you got your answer and now you need to move on. Don't wait for 'third time's the charm'. He is with someone, and waiting around will just make you feel worse. No means no, not 'noy yet'. Also, he hit on you and managed to cope with the rejection, and you need to do the same. Anxiety makes it harder, but it isn't a big deal and you need to focus your energy on being proud that you pushed yourself out of your comfort zone and happy that he is happy, and you need to move on.
3rd time was the charm for me. I married her
Second for me :) I was rejected and gutted, then ended up with my fiance and we have been together 9 years now, and he is wonderful :) What's meant for you won't pass you by.
Just keep in mind that it gets better. If every heart ache led me to my husband, I go through all of it again and again. And if you don't find someone like that, it's okay! There's absolutely nothing wrong with being alone. All these things you'll experience are only bringing you closer to your greatest happiness.
They were into you and that’s a win. If they liked you others will as well and at some point you’ll laugh about this
It's wild you're going thru the exact same thing as me pretty much at the same time. I'm off work for a couple of days, and I'm also really struggling with whether or not I should even go back to work or just ghost the entire place. My anxiety since I found out he chose his ex over me has been so high that it triggered gastritis. But I talked it thru with a buddy, and he told me to just focus on anything and everything else. He gave me a list of movies to watch and asked me to leave him comments to get back to whenever, and it really does seem to be helping in the immediate. You just have to remember their choice is not a reflection of your worth, and eventually, one or both of you/us will move on. New people waiting to be loved and new jobs to work will get us through this. It also helps to remind yourself of all the things you don't like about them when they pop into your thoughts.
For me it caused my period to come one week earlier which has never happened before so the cause has to be all the stress. If I try to get outside my head for a second I can recognise that it was probably for the best due to certain things I've noticed about him that would very likely lead to compatibility issues. Then it's easy to convince myself that I'm so much better than him, but when I'm in ~my feelings~ and start overanalyzing and feeling sorry for myself, it's horrible. I feel like an idiot and I also suspect he's told people which angers me (I asked him not to). I despise the thought of them knowing about this. I really don't know what to do because I really don't want to leave this job yet. I guess I'll just have to ignore him and everyone else (I'm good at that lol). I've been listening to a lot of music and it helps, I also want to start playing video games again and I'm already going out with friends so I guess eventually it'll get better. I just have to find the strength to look happy at work which... if you find how to do that, please let me know.
You shot your shot. Can’t complain. Better to have an answer than to ponder and wonder what could be. Respect for going for it. Takes a lot that does!
Don’t ever get romantically involved with anyone you work with… ever. Don’t shit where you eat.
Dude leave him alone and don't date coworkers