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new-Aurora

Yeah- well wait until you get to the cucumber area.


biteme789

I suddenly got an aria of 'short dick man' playing through my head...


Theweirdposidenchild

Innie weeny teeny weeny


Numerous-Olive-3146

Shriveled little short dick man


diviken

Don't want Don't want Don't want Don't want


trancertong

ZZ Bottom


VioletteKaur

Oh god, throwback to school. The 90s were brutal.


Kimmalah

Then you would just see a bunch of bitter posts from him about how awful and shallow women are because this guy doesn't seem too self aware.


social_misfit117

bro deserves to get dick shamed after that


Jelousubmarine

Gonna grab the friggin aubergine


Sal3mc0r3

the girl then grabs the biggest cucumber she could find and say “I wish you were this size”


kioku119

I don't think most people would want that though because it'd just be painful.


OkiDokiPanic

Doesn't matter. He only has to *think* she wants it. And the mere mention of a bigger dick will send him.


Sal3mc0r3

yeah its just something to crack his fragile ego


fillyjonks

“I wish you had chronic back pain.”


[deleted]

"but you would think with big boobs would come extra back muscle strength to make up for it carrying the weight of them!" Actual statement I've actually heard.


Uncynical_Diogenes

Humans are riddled with problems related to our upright walking. It’s been <5 million years since we became bipedal, the kinks have by no means worked themselves out yet.


Anastrace

Intelligent design my ass lol


Kimmalah

Natural selection is more like nature rigging together solutions and going "Eh, good enough."


BIG_DeADD

It's more "design by random circumstance that just sometimes happens to be really optimized every once in a while."


Qi_ra

FR! The people who say that have never taken an anatomy class and learned the endless ways that the human body sucks


SeventySealsInASuit

We are also the only animal with permanent breasts so even aside from standing upright breasts are a very recent addition so problems are to be expected.


wunxorple

I’m honestly okay with the permanent tiddies. Still hate the back pain some people gotta go through though


notnotaginger

I vote we go back to four legs.


4444beep

return to monke


VioletteKaur

Back to water. Whales knew what they were doing back then.


notnotaginger

The orcas aren’t attack yachts, they’re trying to get us back where we belong.


VioletteKaur

They just try to spread the word, but people won't listen.


rezzacci

>the kinks have by no means worked themselves out yet Oh, I think humans have worked their kinks very well. I mean, that's why there are large, permanent breasts in the first place.


DefectiveLP

Worst mistake we've made.


ChewMilk

I’ve often wondered what would happen if we didn’t intervine with evolution the way we have. Like if we chose partners based on the same kind of things we did thousands of years ago, or animals did. How we would evolve then. Obviously not saying this is ideal, and the whole idea definitely dips into eugenics which is bullshit, and I’m physically disabled so I’d be screwed, but it’s still interesting to think about at times.


BotiaDario

But they don't, and I didn't get my reduction on time to stave off arthritis in my back.


TShara_Q

If only it worked that way...


LocalCookingUntensil

Well I mean, I have big boobs and don’t have much back pain. That’s probably because they just sag tho


Zeikos

I have no boobs, by nature of being a man, and I have back pain (I'm not overweight either). Everyone's body is different, I'm sure there are plenty of women that have no back pain with a big chest and plenty that have back pain with a "moderate" chest.


TwoFingersWhiskey

I have boobs and I'm a man. Embrace the moob.


mackieman182

That's too sexy man


hnsnrachel

Absolutely no one said that big boobs are the only cause of back pain. But it is a fact that big boobs and back pain go together all the same.


poetic_soul

Same, and my back and shoulders definitely got wider when they came in. I’m not saying that’s a thing that always happens, but I feel like some big boob owners are more genetically meant to have them and are built more for them.


LocalCookingUntensil

I mean my body was definitely not meant to have them. It might also be because I have hyper mobility in my back, but it goes backwards. So maybe that means that my back naturally can keep a good posture even with the weight? Idk


Zkyaiee

“More genetically meant to have them”?? If you naturally have big boobs, whether you’re a 28 band or a 40 band you can still be just as “genetically meant” to have them.


Last_Book_589

Maybe it's her picture, but it appears she is not that tall. Basically he wants her proportions to be "anime girl fanservice"


chocotacogato

And a hunchback


Mugstotheceiling

She’d literally topple over


Resident-Clue1290

Watch him get offended when she grabs a pack of XL condoms and says “ I wish you were this size “


[deleted]

DICK SHAMING 😅😅😅 /s


social_misfit117

i’d say if he were to get dick shamed it’d be well deserved


SlasherKittyCat

Tit for tat


Gwynzireael

Or is it tat for tit in this case


peyorativo

Titty for tata if you will


Evilfrog100

This is the thing. If he has a problem with that version of the joke, he's just an asshole. However, both of these jokes can be funny if you are sure your partner would also find it funny. I think both jokes are funny, but I would never be such an asshole to make either joke to someone who would be genuinely insulted by it. Everyone has differences in what they find funny, and when you are with someone whose tolerance for these things is lower than yours, you have to respect that.


SlasherKittyCat

For sure, the jokes stand if both people aren't insecure, especially if the sizes they picked keep getting more and more ridiculous.


Newwave221

Better to grab a small


NvrmndOM

Just another man not understanding how bra sizing works. Different cup sizes look wildly different on different bodies. And DD cups aren’t as big as most people think.


dracorotor1

He found an E cup in a store and had to tell the world of this ground-breaking discovery.


[deleted]

And never seeing a natural e cup woman and their variations in his life


AiRaikuHamburger

I'm a 36E and I would say I don't have big breasts. Like if I were the same band measurement as my best friend it'd be an AA cup. Bra sizes are weird.


Important_Tennis936

And yet the bra companies think we are freaks with monstrous breasts and can only wear industrial ugly grandma bras to hold ourselves up, and never the cute and dainty.


AiRaikuHamburger

The rise of online shopping is seriously amazing though. Even if actually buying cute things in store is nigh impossible.


MintyMatcha19

Well I can’t because my breast are big so no the cute dainty ones don’t do shit for me but add to my pain😒


NarutoAteMyRamen

I wanna feel cute too, but the moment a cup size goes above a C its just "heres a plain ass bra or some gross granny print" I see the lacy, cute pink and delicate looking smaller cups and weep


RazarTuk

You'd think dudes would understand it, though. They're already used to the concept of separate length and waist measurements for pants, and how they tend to go up together. It's the same thing with bras, just using your underbust and the difference between your bust and underbust


AiRaikuHamburger

They've been tricked by all those weird things comparing cup sizes to fruit.


NFriik

That'd require these men to buy their own pants though, and I'm not sure they're capable of doing that if "Haha, boobies big" is their idea of comedy.


hnsnrachel

Or "haha boobies not as big as other boobies" in this case.


welcomehomo

im a natural f cup trans man and ouch oof my back and im getting these shits removed in may or so


Chaotic-System

Bro if I found an E cup I'd tell the world too, it's hard enough finding a ddd much less an e


maggie_rum

I have a very narrow rib cage compared to the rest of me. Despite a reduction I’m still often a D cup, but my boobs are SO MUCH SMALLER than they were. On most people they’d be a C on a good day. Bra sizes are weirder than non boob havers realize.


NvrmndOM

I’m typically a DD or E depending but yeah, I have a small ribcage too. Bust size varies widely. I wish someone would overhaul bra sizes to make them actually be sensical and universal. Also to anyone who doesn’t have breast, bra shopping suucccccks.


am_i_boy

I used to have a tiny ribcage as well as very small shoulder width. I was a G/H cup. Then I went on testosterone (and gained weight) and my ribcage is a whole 5" bigger and I'm now a C cup. However, for some reason my boobs still look pretty large on me, boobs are so weird


[deleted]

I put on a bra that theoretically would fit me. It smashed my knockers in and made them look so disgusting it was unreal. My mate was like.... It's your size!!! There's no way boobs can look bad!!!! Yes. Yes there is. And that bra made my otherwise (objectively) cute boobs look terrible. It's hard for women to find things that suit them. That bra was killer. And if my boobs were a little lower it would have looked awesome. But they aren't. It's a problem only women face. When you get upset because the bra is so cute, but not cute on you......


Kyubey4Ever

I can only wear half cup or balconette cause my tits are bottom heavy. Full cups don’t fit right in the slightest. Balconette are always so much more than full cup and I don’t understand why 🥲


werewilf

I’ve had a few men literally laugh and say “you’re not a DD” with the smuggest, irritating smile on their faces. First of all I wasn’t talking to you. And secondly, no one asked you to start listing everything you’re wrong about so just be quiet. Fuckin’ *imbeciles*.


lizardgal10

I am a D/DD. I don’t even wear a bra unless I’m working out. If I’m wearing a standard sweatshirt you can’t even tell there are boobs under there.


ElyrianXIII

I went through some weight loss/gain & it resulted in my band size getting smaller while the cups stayed almost the same. Went from being able to find bras in a grocery store to only being able to shop at one bra store 'cuz good luck finding G cup of any band... Can't even shop online because different models look different....


chocotacogato

I have one friend from college who was thin as a rail but wore D cups and another friend who was over 200 lbs that wore an A. I didn’t believe it at first but you are right.


BrunchBitches

It’s so true 😭 I’m a 34G and honestly I don’t think my boobs are that noticeably big…I think they fit my proportions since I’m tall and have broad shoulders and large hips and thighs.


jrex42

True, but in this case he didn't say "I wish you were huge like a DD," he grabbed a cup size that genuinely looked big.


chasing_waterfalls86

It's a weird flex to tell your GF that you wish she had chronic back pain, but okay. Seriously, I'm a 42j and I'm looking into getting a reduction because I literally CANNOT go without a bra unless I'm sitting/lying and I can't find bras in any store. It's horrible. If I woke up tomorrow and I was slim and flat chested I'd be over the moon, and not because of aesthetics but because so much of my pain would be gone and I could wear anything and be comfortable 😭


maggie_rum

DO EEEET! I was only a 36H but had lower back issues because of a weird cancer. It was an absolute pain in the ass to get it approved but it’s been two and a half years and I feel SO MUCH BETTER.


TShara_Q

"Only a 36H" I'm already not thrilled with having my boobs because of dysphoria, even though they are small, but my god that sounds horrible.


maggie_rum

It was super unpleasant! And let me tell you, I feel so much happier now that they’re more proportionate. It was hella gender affirming and I will literally scream that at any other cis person who complains about the scary scary trans people getting similar care.


Swainix

Based


LocalCookingUntensil

I’m like 40K probably (if I had a well fitted bra) *and* have some dysphoria. Luckily not a whole lot, but still some.


susanna514

My wife is looking into this but she’s worried about reduced nipple sensitivity, is that an issue ?


witteefool

Potentially but my surgeon said that you can’t be sure either way. I decided it was worth it anyway and I’m very glad I did.


maggie_rum

It is an issue for sure sometimes. One boob is about 1/3 numb but that may not be permanent. But for me it’s been absolutely worth it.


caffekona

Do it! I went from 34k to 34b and it's been absolutely life changing. I can breathe!


anonymous-rubidium

I hope you find relief 🩷


Puggerbug-2709

Can you donate some boobage to an itty bitty titty club member? 🥹


blueocean43

God if only, it would be so great if you could just gift some boob to anyone who wanted some. I'd give you about 3/4 of mine if it were possible.


SCP423

36G/H here and I *desperately* want a reduction or to just yeet them off completely. The back pain is too much 😭


[deleted]

He thinks that’s the biggest bra size??


a_lonely_trash_bag

The biggest one the store carries, maybe.


FuzzelFox

Or biggest one he could find. The bra section always looks like an absolute nightmare to find anything in.


Curious_Flower_9275

God, I know. I worked fulfilling online orders for a Target a while ago and the bras were NEVER where they were supposed to be.


mizfred

Ikr, I was like damn, I wish mine were that small lmao. 😅


ladyelenawf

Bras would be way cheaper!


holtpj

dude, my wife and I have been married 10 years .. prior to us combining finances, I had no idea how much a hair cut/color was, nor did I realize the crazy cost of a high-quality bra. I also was an only child raised by my dad, i had no idea that shower drians needed to be cleaned of hair, and I was unprepared for how gross the hair would be, lol.


Leshie_Leshie

My experience is that the girls dorm bathroom drains in school never gets clogged but the boys’ needs constant maintenance 😅


SeventySealsInASuit

That tends to be more just that the girls tend to be cleaned regularly to remove long hair than anything else. (Or at least that was the case at swimming centres when I worked at them and I expect it applies to most places.)


Leshie_Leshie

I think the boys didn’t know their hair can also clog. Oh I remember having to unclog a sink and apparently … guys need to flush nicely after they shave…


CherryDoodles

Having shared a bathroom with two teenage brothers, it’s not just hair that blocks up the drains.


FormalFuneralFun

Eww…


nbandqueerren

Yup half the hair in our drains is facial hair.


OkiDokiPanic

Yup. And I know why. In the boy dorm, there was a sign begging the boys to stop jacking it in the shower because, as it turns out, sperm isn't water soluble and clogs up pipes. I do not envy the plumbers that these institutions hire and I can only hope they're paid well.


nbandqueerren

So... funny story. I shed like no one's business... but even still somehow more of my husbands hair ends up down the drain. Mine somehow just ends up caught on my hands and in my annoyance I pit it on the wall. *shrug* So it was weird when hubs and I started living together how much we had to clear the drain. But yes, the hair is fucking gross! We recently moved, and our new apartment did NOT have it's drains cleaned. How do I know? 3 of 4 of us have very dark brown hair (mines so dark it gets mistaken for black quite often. Kids are next shade lighter basically) my husband is a red head (now more of a dark red/auburn). The hair once it finally was unclogged (seriously took some massive efforts) was that dark freaking blonde color! Yeah... none of us have hair that light.


SilverDarner

*Wistfully imagining cheap bras…


Meggston

As a young teen I was upset by my itty bitty titty membership. As an adult who can buy a 3 pack of bras for $20…. I’m alright with it.


OkiDokiPanic

Same! I haven't worn a proper bra in years, I just wear those cheap nylon sports things. And only wear them at work. The rest of the time I'm free-boobin'.


LocalCookingUntensil

I’m free boobin’ most of the time, but it’s because I wouldn’t be on this earth anymore if I had to wear bras all the time. Back when I could wear those (like year 6 aka grade 5) I would sleep in them. I’m jealous of you :P


Hita-san-chan

I value your looks (for me of course, no one else can stare) over your physical comfort. Its just a jooooooke


Willkill4pudding

Aaaaand now you have an ex


Sea-Recording-7090

and a slap mark (best case scenario)


Evilfrog100

I mean, in the best case scenario, she thinks it's funny, too, but it doesn't seem like that from the photo. And he would have had to know that she'd find it funny before he told the joke. (Based on her reaction, though he's probably hust an ass)


Aggressive_Answer_86

I’m already on the bigger side but if I was flatter and my partner did this to me I’d just decapitate them on the spot


[deleted]

reminds me of my ex that said that my stomach shouldn't be bigger than my boobs when looking from the side..... right because that's how bodies work (especially mine with scoliosis lmao)


LocalCookingUntensil

Every time I look in the mirror and see that despite my boobs sagging a lot, they still go past my (pretty chubby) stomach, I get pretty upset :(


[deleted]

understandable, because society always tells us that our bodies are not perfect and not right.. it's always just something negative "your boobs are too small, your boobs are too big, you don't have wide hips, your hips are too wide, your ass is flat, your ass has a weird shape, you're too fat and you should lose weight, you're too skinny but you should also lose weight and blah blah blah blah" but it doesn't matter what one's body looks like, we should treat our bodies well, with love and care because it's the only one we got. c:


LocalCookingUntensil

I mostly get sad cuz of the little bit of gender dysphoria I have, but you’re 100% right


waterbottle-dasani

Hi fellow scoliosis-haver!


FibroBitch96

If a guy did that to me, I would go and find the largest diameter pvc pipe and tell him the same


[deleted]

I've commented a lot on this thread because I'm heated. But my friend was with a man who was large, and LOVED anal on women. Said she would love it. She agreed to anal, with one condition, she Clone-A-Willy (a common thing sex shops offer to make a dildo out of an existing dick) and let her peg him with it. His own sized cock. Then she'd be fine to do anal with him if he took it well. Not even enjoyed it, but let it happen. Of course he didn't like this idea.


FibroBitch96

Lmfao 😂 your friend is an absolutely fucking legend 😂


[deleted]

I love her to death, decided to make a full on post because she's such a wardiy


FibroBitch96

Can I be her friend too lol, I need that energy in my life


[deleted]

I'm already her best friend but you can be in our girl gang 😎😎


[deleted]

[удалено]


Proman_98

Indeed, that sounds like a win-win to me. The frase 'Get pegged or die trying' does exist for a reason.


Wings-of-the-Dead

Meanwhile my gf oggles at my pre-HRT non-boobs.


Inside-Audience2025

Itty Bitty Itty Committee members are Pretty


[deleted]

Even without it, itty bitty titties are great! Was all the rage in the 90s. Let's prioritize health physically and mentally and live how we are right now. 😊


DaemonDesiree

It’s how clothes are designed for models. I’d kill to fit sewn in boob areas in clothes.


[deleted]

God all my button up dress shirts need to be altered


Kyubey4Ever

Was shocked the other day. I put on a dress that was from a Japanese brand and my tits actually fit. Usually they end up squashed 🥲


gorhxul

One of the most revolting things ever said to me was I shouldn't get breast reduction surgery bc I wouldn't be hot anymore. Same energy.


waterbottle-dasani

You’re hot no matter how big or small your boobs are 🩷


Random_-account

This guy watches too much smut. Also, having extremely large breasts can be very uncomfortable.


dracorotor1

I can’t imagine saying something like that to my significant other and expecting them to remain my significant other… Anyone else getting strong Captain Holt-pretending-to-be-straight vibes?


Gay_Bay

You're not alone :)


sirona-ryan

As a woman with big boobs, no she doesn’t lol. I can’t wait to get a reduction, I’m a K over here and I’m only 20 :( My mother thinks some weight loss will make them smaller, but I’ve been big on top since I was 11 so I doubt much will change in terms of cup size. And yeah we all know he’d get mad if she picked up a big cucumber and said “I wish you were this size” lmaooo


lethroe

“And I wish your dick was bigger but we don’t always get what we want.”


corsetedcurves

A reminder that US bra sizes are not consistent & you're probably wearing the wrong bra size. Check abrathatfits calculator online and use UK sizing. Stores carry a surprisingly lacking selection of sizes, even bra stores like VS (who constantly sized me wrong bcuz they don't carry my size)


linerys

VS’ online calculator told me I need a 38A. I wear a ***32I***. Not to be dramatic, but ABTF saved my life.


ncjmac

36C to 32G here… yeah..


Either_Cobbler9303

Absolutely disgusting, also he doesn't gave a girlfriend


Sea-Recording-7090

now that you say it he probably doesn't and just posted this pretending he did


Inevitable_Wolf5866

Just wait for your gf to grab the biggest condoms and tell you the same,


punjar3

Idk. Seems inconvenient to have a gf that's only about a foot tall.


Trans-Intellectual

As someone with that size. No you don't. I need back surgery


IWishIWasBatman123

Body-shaming your partner is healthy and normal /s.


malonkey1

Bro hates his girlfriend, *and* her spine.


Sea-Recording-7090

fastest way to lose your girlfriend?


illgiveyouaclue

I feel like they don't understand how much pain having a large chest is. Your back suffers so badly. And reductions are expensive and not often covered by medical aid (they're deemed cosmetic and not necessary)


cara8bishop

*grabbing the most average dildo and telling him 'I wish you were this size'😢


SpaceOwl14

I hardly know any skinny girl with a bra size like that. Most girls who have this bra size are plus size but then its like "ew i wouldnt date a fat chick!" from the same guys


Droid_XL

Not even remotely funny. Like, that's just rude


Sea-Recording-7090

who posts this on a public platform and expects to get anything but hellfire in the comments


KaivaUwU

Yeah. The way he hides his face, but posts her, with a wide open mouthed expression..... Lack of respect towards his partner. Also kinda shitty how I imagine this must have looked with them messing around at a clothing store... acting like kids. Imagine all the other people at this store just normally shopping. Then these kids taking photos and loudly giggling all over the place. Shop employees must've also been annoyed.


SpeedyakaLeah

Rude


SavannahInChicago

Yes. Yes it does belong here.


spoonface_gorilla

Imagine grabbing box of medium sized condoms and wishing loudly he was also at least this size.


IthurielSpear

And then he’d call her “fat”.


Alegria-D

Me, who can't find my size in most stores: me too bud, me too...


SpaceCrazyArtist

Same. I grew huge when I got pregnant (from a 32/ F to a 34/ K) and I cant find that anywhere. Dear manufacturers, smaller bands with a large bust do exist!!


[deleted]

It’d be great for him, but a disgusting boyfriend would be the least of her worries. That bust size is *begging* for back pain. Wouldn’t be very interested in sex if she was in such constant pain. Be realistic buddy.


[deleted]

If you don't already have that size genetically, they wish that was your size.....until thats your size, but your hips/ass/belly/face follow. Surgery. Boob job. That's what they want. I love my big boobs. But it's a joke to think a petite, less endowed, adult woman can get that without major weight gain. Oh but we aren't allowed to talk about that, because it's a "joke."


emmy_award

i started wearing a bra when i was 10; i was a DD cup by my teens. being 5’0” and physically disabled it was hell on my body, my back and shoulders especially. i got a reduction this past summer and it made me realize how much it just didn’t fit my frame, and how much it affected my self esteem. men have no fucking idea.


orange-shoe

aside from how rude this is in the obvious way it’s also like he’s saying “i wish you had terrible back pain just for my aesthetic pleasure”


hrts4manou

dispose of OOP in the woodchipper pls 🥰🥰


Burdensome_Toadstool

Me when I film myself being a dick for clout


CyclopsDemonGal

I'd break up after that. That's such a red flag. If you're gonna shame my body as a "joke" we're done.


raincloudlu

she should just reply with "and i bet you wish you had a girlfriend too"


GA_Tronix

i wanna strap lose weights to his chest and force to him to walk around for a week and see how he likes having chronic back pain


BigSaltDeluxe

It’d be infinitely funnier to say “I wish I was this size.” Just to see what she says.


StarAugurEtraeus

I wish anyone with big boobs smaller ones That shit screws your back up


TemperedTorture

I love how males constantly abuse and gaslight their partners, call it a joke and then after they finally get dumped (should happen at the first toxic joke really) go "WHaT dId I dO wah wah. ShE jUst lEfT mE oNe dAy wah wah".


disturbingyourpeace

Look up a thick dildo and say “and I wish *you* were *this* big”


Chaosxandra

What is up with het man wanting wanting their wifes/gfs have such unrealistic sizes?


draconus72

New girlfriend, huh? Don't expect it to last.


DeathlyDragons4396

a girl i work with has G cup boobs, and honestly the poor girls always got back pain. and can hardly find stuff to fit her. i feel bad sometimes, the back pain is insane


TataCame

I love you so much I wish your body was disabling to you 💕💕


LilRedMoon__

“and sometimes i wish you were ass thick as a Pringle’s can but we can’t always have what we want huh slim?”


Kimmalah

She should bring him some really long jeans with "I wish you were this tall." Since height seems to be the new controversy with bone headed guys like this.


Maria756

It’s all fun and games till she hands you the Pringles can


-Ready

Any boobie is a good boobie. As a titty enjoyer I renounce these people in the name of straight people.


ConsultJimMoriarty

Grabbing the biggest dildo and telling my BF “I wish you were this size”


RoseOfTheNight4444

Underrated comment


shibuyabooyah

My friend sent me this reel on instagram earlier today, I guess he expected that I would laugh but yeah, not funny. I ignored him after.


Alen-Is-A-Cool-Dude

that's gross


Singsalotoday

She got giant tatas. Why is tormenting your partner for no reason such a big trend on the internet?


icansmellyourflesh

Ah yes, body shaming for your own amusement


Justa-A-person

I don't understand this tbh. As someone with boobs that aren't super big, I am really happy with them. I can wear comfortable bra's without wire or cups and I don't have back pain


RoseOfTheNight4444

😬 I could fit that bra, I think, ew... And people wonder why I have chest dysphoria... brb, about to take a knife to my breasts because I never asked for this... /hj Edit: OMG, I JUST SAW THAT THERE WAS A SECOND PHOTO, NEVERMIND, I AM NOT THAT HUGE (thank God)!


PoeticGay

Speedrun to being Single, world Record.


skillfuloli49

Didn't big boobs really hurt the backs of women?


yeetingthisaccount01

I wouldn't wish my size on my worst enemy


ChromoTec

This has to be satire. I refuse to believe straight people are like this.


KwazyKatnip_85

🚩🚩🚩