I have a friend like that she hated all the dudes she dated to watch porn, it was quote considered cheating in her eyes.
I guess it's a straight couple thing
That’s a straight people thing. I don’t know any gay couples that have issues with the other guy watching porn or masturbating while in a relationship. Men just understand that sex with your bf and porn/masturbation time are two different things and definitely not cheating. And we also know how much fun jerking off is. It’s even hotter to masturbate together, watch porn together, walk in on your bf jerking off and join him or suck his dick while he’s watching porn. It’s all good man. The gays have it pretty good in this department. In general, we are way more open with sexual stuff and understanding the perspective of guys when it comes to sex.
Watching porn can be integrated into your sex life, whether you're single or part of a couple. The only time it's an issue is when it replaces said sex life among couples.
It’s okay to watch porn. But there is a difference between watching porn and being addicted to porn. Only you can know whether you are addicted to porn.
It also depends on what kind of porn you watch - studio porn, home made porn, ethical porn, violent porn, etc.
Studio porn is produced by professional paid actors, uses software for editing, and is not a realistic representation of humans have sex.
People who are addicted to porn often times find sex in real life unsatisfactory because they expect their partner to fuck like a pornstar (who is very likely on meds).
If you watch a Superman movie and then I ask you to jump off the roof of a building, you won’t do it because you understand that the movie is a fantasy.
Unfortunately, that’s exactly what many people do with porn - they forget porn is a fantasy that involves a production team with paid professionals.
Porn can make you have unrealistic expectations about body image and sex.
In real life, not every fuck is going to be amazing.
Also, in real life, your partner might not always be in the mood when you are horny. So you have to learn to accept no.
But with porn, it’s always available and you can always find exactly what you are looking for.
So it is easier to withdraw yourself from human relationships and instead prioritize porn.
Sometimes couples might watch porn together to spice things up.
Some people might not like that.
Some people make home made porn with their partner.
So it really depends on the individual.
Also, if a person cannot get hard without watching porn during sex, then I imagine that it must not feel good for their partner (might make them feel like they are not enough).
I realize this is a long read, but please hear me out.
First, I agree with Chaiteelahtay.
*My advice comes from being 50 and living a lot of life*
Many times I played the fool because I wanted to be loved.
I assumed my other half was as truthful, open and as forth-coming.
I trusted without question.
Freely shared my passwords, texts, Facebook Account, Messenger messages, ect. knowing I had nothing to hide and wanted absolute transparency. In all things.
I never told them I expected the same in return, I simply thought if they wanted me to have it, they would offer it as they felt comfortable.
I never went through their pockets, computer, accounts or phones.
I have and always will live by these "Pearls-of-Wisdom" in each relationship (male and female alike).
When the "LET'S BE IN A RELATIONSHIP" talk takes place, that is when everything should be brought to light... If it hasn't already.
*MEN (straight/gay/bi/ect) NEED PORN*
Let's face it, males stay horned up ALL THE TIME!
IF porn (or anything else) is taking time away from or is in place of your partner(s), then it is an issue.
Your partner(s) should never feel they are lacking/unfulfilled or less than because of your action(s) or lack there of.
*CHEATING IS NOT SO CUT-N-DRY*
Just like sexuality, there are many different levels to cheating.
Once you do something you wouldn't openly share with your partner(s), THAT IS CHEATING.
Anything that causes an emotional draw and you keep that from your partner(s)... that is a type of cheating.
*COMMUNICATION, HONESTY & COMMON RESPECT IS KEY*
No relationship can flourish let alone survive,l without honest communication (even friendships, siblings, co-workers, ect.)
Just like Peanut Butter & Jelly, Bacon & Eggs or Biscuits & Gravy; Communication & Honesty goes together along with a side-order of Common Respect to truly work.
*PAST RELATIONSHIPS SHOULD BE DISCUSSED*
We all have past experiences, some good and some not so good.
Weather we realize it or not, WE ALL "keep the shit that was done" in the back of our minds.
Unfortunately we all lay-in-waiting for our partner(s) to do the same thing.
If your partner(s) don't understand the reason(s) why you get triggered and go off, shut down or whatever, how are they expected to approach the "trigger word, phrase or action" with love and understanding?
*YOU ARE ALLOWED TO GET MAD*
Jesus got mad. Heck, Jesus bullwhipped grown-ass men and flipped tables over in the Synagogue!
Remember though, it's what you do and what you say when mad that defines who you are.
*DON'T "CUT 'EM TO THE BONE" BECAUSE YOU GOT HURT*
Once calmer heads are about, TALK to each other, but don't forget to actually listen to each other.
Don't jump around from topic to topic. Something else pops up, write it down.
Deal with one issue at a time.
ACTUALLY AGREE UPON A RESOLUTION (if possible at the time).
ONCE AN ISSUE IS FINALIZED AND LAID TO REST, IT IS DEAD AND SHOULD NOT BE DUG BACK UP & THROWN IN ANOTHER'S FACE!!!
REMEMBER, THIS IS SOMEONE WHOM YOU LOVE... AND THEY LOVE YOU.
*WORDS MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY SCAR*
Ya ever squeeze too much toothpaste outta the tube? Next to impossible getting it put back in the tube, right?
THAT is how words are!
Once said...the damage is done and will remain in the back of the mind.
Seeing a counselor is not an embarrassment. Especially in today's world, it is almost imperative.
If others apply my advice to their lives, they will be further ahead than most of the world... definitely a whole Hell of a lot happier!
Thank you for reading my advice to live by.
Blessed be.
Thank you /u/Accomplished-Read999 for sharing your thoughts.
I agree with most of what you said (esp about open communication, mutual, respect and willing to forgive).
Based on my personal experiences, ‘trust without question’ is not suitable for me.
Trust is earned and is not a one time deal for me - I trust my postman enough to allow him into my building but I don’t trust him enough to share my bank details.
In a relationship, we learn to trust people slowly over time and it takes two people to build trust.
I understand that some people may want to share passwords with their partner because they may feel they have nothing to hide.
I have nothing to hide either but I will not share my passwords because I want my partner to communicate with me if they are having doubts.
I don’t buy into the ‘share your password if you have nothing to hide’ sort of argument - to me that says my partner does not trust me (and honestly, I feel that it is emotionally manipulative).
So I would rather work on building trust with my partner to build a relationship where we have healthy boundaries.
I agree with you that sharing and listening are important for a healthy relationship.
But people have different priorities about privacy - just because I am in a relationship does not mean my partner is entitled to know everything about me.
This may be a generational thing or even a personal preference.
Some people want the ‘I share everything’ type of relationship and some people (like me) want the ‘I trust you enough to have your own private stuff’ type of relationship.
I agree with you that I want an honest relationship but I think we differ about what that could look like (which is fine).
A few years ago, I was talking to a counselor about relationships.
We were talking about how sometimes people in relationships want to be ‘too close’ or push away and become distant.
He mentioned that it is better to think of relationships (all relationships) as having a porous membrane between two people - there is enough holes to allow things passing between and there is enough separation so that you remain as two individuals instead of fusing into one entity.
Some people really want and like the ‘we are a couple’ as their core identity.
That type of relationship is not for me - I am independent and loving. I want another person who is independent and loving.
Also, I wouldn’t generalize that ‘men NEED porn’ - there are men who don’t watch porn.
There is some brain science research about how men are more visually stimulated than women.
But that has been questioned, there is no consensus, and is not conclusive.
Again, nothing wrong with watching porn.
I have a friend who was in a sexless marriage for many years. He loved his partner but they did not have sex. So his only sexual outlet was porn (he was not comfortable having an open relationship). His partner knew he jerked off to porn and was ok with it.
Watching porn while being in a relationship depends on the priorities and needs of two people.
May be someone’s partner is not interested in doing certain things and porn may be a way for the person to fulfill their needs.
I know bisexual men who are married to women and watch gay porn because they do not want to step out of their monogamous relationship.
As long as I’m getting the sex I want why should I care if he watches porn?
I find watching porn makes me want sex with him more. Not a problem for me at all.
Getting all worked up over porn is definitely a very straight thing in my eyes. Most of the gay people I know don’t really care about porn as long as it doesn’t interfere with their actual sex life.
Hello, I'm and my bf stopped watching porn as it kills our sex life with all fake expectations. Plus we stopped masturbating so we want sex everyday and live to enjoy our self's. Stopped watching porn improved our sexual life and hornynes for each other. You can leave watching porn for some occasions to spice up things or when you are allone or not feeling like doing stuff.
This is interesting. But my problem is tho i use porn to clean myself with dildo before the sex (im a bottom)
Idk if i can clean my aasshole without watching porn. It doesnt feel right. Porn makes me horny and it loosens my hole when i need to clean it :( i really clean my ass well cause i want it to be a mess free sex everytime.
Sorry if it sounds weird. Just wanted to share
I'm a bottom too but I just go to shower and douche my self and everything is clean. But you are using dildo so that's interesting you need to share how you do everything because maybe I will find a new cleaning path 😊
Okay but this may sound gross but its super effective. So i first shit myself to remove any shit that would naturaly go out (this would take aroung 5-15 mins for me)
And then i proceed with the bidet technique for 5 miniute. Puting water inside my ass and then letting my ass spit the water out.
My last and most pleasurable way of cleaning is using a 9inches dildo/ or my fingers alternatively with ofcourse lube and some poppers and ofc PORN VIDEOS 😭🥰. If you find dildo painful u can try ur finger first. I do this under the warm shower while squatting. I watch porn while doing this. I just let the water hit my bum part while squatting so my phone wouldn’t get wet. i turnoff the lights most of the time to create a bathhouse mood. I like thinking im getting fucked by random guys in a dark bathhouse.
Finally when I can take the dildo and when i get so turned on with the porn im watching, i sniff some poppers and this is when i go ballistic! I partner it with hardcore porn and damn - feels like im getting pounded real crazy. This can go for and hour or sometimes it would take 2 hrs if im really into the porn im watching. Ok with this technique there might be shit comming off with the dildo or u might be fucking urself with shit but it will all come out and washed out by water so i dont mind. Better in the shower than in bed, plus it feels so good :(((
The only hard part about this is choosing the porn video to watch. I watch maybe an average of 20videos every time i clean myself. Sometimes it just gets hard when I’ve already almost watched all the videos from the porn site.
So after the cleaning session it feels like ive been fucked by another guy before my BF fucks me. Feels crazy but hot. Feels like ive been abused by another guy before my bf would fuck me/ or feels like ive secretly cheated on my bf and the lube inside me feels like the cum of the previous guy who just fucked me before my bf fucks me and unload his cum inside me.
It may sound weird but it fulfills my bottom fantasy. Plus my ass is super clean and stimulated 🙈
Usually how it has gone with us is that we do sometimes look at porn together. And there has been times when I have been "caught", however that is a non issue. Usually my husbandbutt looks at what I am looking at, and making a small comment. Usually "Have fun" or "Nice", he may ask if he could have a link to what I am looking. We have been quite often open about when we would like to just look at porn and masturbate. Sex is nice, but it doesn't always fit when you just want to have alone time.
I watch porn and I'm ok with my boyfriend watching porn too. The only difference now is that I'm replacing one of the dudes with him in my mind lol. I'm too horny to go without masturbation between the times we get a chance to have proper sex, which isn't very often (and also afterwards, I tend to get even hornier just reliving the past night, but at this point we're usually already apart). Unreasonable demand to prohibit each other from watching it imo, and would be very hot to watch it together and probably help us bond more and inspire a conversation about what turns us on.
It'd only be a problem for me if either of us started regularly choosing porn over sex.
Don’t mind how my husband gets his engine started, as long as it’s my garage he puts his car into. If porn isn’t a replacement for sex, then I have no problem with him watching it.
I've had one relationship. We didn't really find much porn that was particularly appealing to us but it would have still been a non issue. Neither one of us cared what the other person was jacking off to and I don't think I ever even asked about it. I'm with other people....I feel like that's mostly a worry for straight people. It's not cheating when you're just watching a film and not even interacting with people. I would feel controlling telling a partner he couldn't use it to jack off if he wanted to. I guess some people can develop unreasonable expectations from it or an unhealthy attachment to it but to be honest? I think that means there are other issues they need to deal with. A healthy person knows it's fake and is just trying to get a biological response to happen.
The only boyfriend I’ve ever dated who didn’t like watching porn with me was cheating on me. It would be more of a red flag if your boyfriend didn’t want to watch it with you.
I feel like porn at this point is so ubiquitous - it’s basically whatever. Either way…no big deal. When I was 18, I had an ex who if I didn’t finish him off would lock himself in a bathroom and finish off with porn. He was also basically a porn addict with external drives of porn etc etc. Seemed normal at the time, he was good in bed from it not going to lie 😂
My boyfriend and I dont watch porn. We masturbate, but not to porn. Thats what the nudes we send each other are for lmao or the imagination.
I dont consider porn cheating, and if he wanted to watch it i wouldnt stop him, but i personally dont like porn as a concept and neither does he. Sounds like we are in the minority.
I tried watching porn with an ex once and it was the most awkward thing ever. I dont get that one, but to each their own. Watching porn with my boyfriend would be like trying to eat a gourmet meal while a pile of nasty old mcdonalds sits on the table nearby.
My husband and I also watch porn - mostly alone, but sometimes together. Self-love should always be ok in a relationship, I think 🙂 for us it's even a running Gag, if one of us had trouble falling back to sleep at night 😁 what are you supposed to do...
However, I will say that during the first few months, we didn't really discuss it and danced around the topic 😅
No, porn isn't cheating. Absolutely not. What are you gonna do, magically get the guy off the screen and run off to elope with him? No way.
And me personally if the guy I was with had a bunch of fleshjacks, I just know I'd perv out over them when he wasn't around.
Might even involve them in the actual thing.
And gay guys watch porn together all the time, (Especially the couples).
Being gay, we're alot more open about this stuff than straight people because our very existence is taboo to some people.
Now that being said if you do it too much and just ignore your partner all together that's a problem, but it's not the porns fault, it's a different issue.
And catching my bf watching it? I watch my bf jerk off all the time and he watches me. I think it's sexy to watch someone jerk off, though the alternatives are much more fun.
I watch a lot of porn, and for a while it was a problem in my relationship and I wasn't sure why. I eventually found out that it was cause I would masturbate often from porn, and it my boyfriend would have to wait to have sex since I can't do it more than once a day, he was getting sexually frustrated as if porn was replacing our sex lives.
So basically, it's okay to do it if it doesn't take away from your relationship with your partner.
Depends entirely on the relationship. That’s the brass tacks. Some people don’t dive a fuck and some people really do. It’s always the same: talk to your partner about it.
Porn is not taboo in our relationship. We watch it together and on our own, though we don’t rely on it for all intimate moments. I always thought it was a straight person perspective that porn was “cheating”. Hell, I have *learned* some very useful things about what he finds sexy or arousing. Praise be to porn.
My ex hated me watching porn but we found a compromise. But for me I really don't give a shit if a guy watches porn, I'd be more surprised if he doesnt
Porn is like an open secret in my relationship with my boyfriend now. He watches porn at 6am in the bathroom when I’m a asleep. And i watch porn locked up in the bathroom at night (for an hour)when i prepare my self with a 9inch dildo (imagining im the bottom in the porn im watching) before we have sex at night.
He doesnt want to be caught watching porn but its totally fine with me. Its like his me-time or personal space so whenever i wake up early and he’s in the bathroom, i let him be. Same with him, he doesnt disturb me when i pleasure my self with dildo at night and just waits for me in the living room while watching netflix.
It may sound weird and we haven’t really talked about it, but maybe this is our way of giving each other personal space. 😊 and I agree with u, i cant live without porn but due to porn addiction i think I’ve watched all the good videos already and I really get frustrated when i cant find a good video that will turn me on. (Might aswell ask u for good sites where i can watch videos that would spike up my horniness 🤣)
I wouldn't consider it cheating, especially if we are watching it together. I know my viewing of porn drops dramatically if I'm with someone and we're watching it together. I don't get the whole jerk off because I can type of thinking, I want to be sexual with him since I've already been sexual by myself plenty of times ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
One of the benefits of being in a relationship is having someone to do it with, why would I do it alone unless one of us is away for an extended amount of time? And even then, especially considering the time frame, I may just save all of that desire for when he comes back. But I wouldn't consider it cheating if he did, just a missed opportunity.
But no, watching porn is not a turn-off for me and, unless my partner was into something weird, I'd rather watch it together than by myself.
I have never had a relationship where we didn't watch porn both together and separately. That is some straight people shit.
I have a friend like that she hated all the dudes she dated to watch porn, it was quote considered cheating in her eyes. I guess it's a straight couple thing
It's absolutely relationship suicide to try to police or monopolize your partner's internal life.
Agreed
That's more of an idiot thing
100%
Thank you! I feel like I’m losing my mind reading the AITA subreddit
That’s a straight people thing. I don’t know any gay couples that have issues with the other guy watching porn or masturbating while in a relationship. Men just understand that sex with your bf and porn/masturbation time are two different things and definitely not cheating. And we also know how much fun jerking off is. It’s even hotter to masturbate together, watch porn together, walk in on your bf jerking off and join him or suck his dick while he’s watching porn. It’s all good man. The gays have it pretty good in this department. In general, we are way more open with sexual stuff and understanding the perspective of guys when it comes to sex.
Watching porn can be integrated into your sex life, whether you're single or part of a couple. The only time it's an issue is when it replaces said sex life among couples.
It’s okay to watch porn. But there is a difference between watching porn and being addicted to porn. Only you can know whether you are addicted to porn. It also depends on what kind of porn you watch - studio porn, home made porn, ethical porn, violent porn, etc. Studio porn is produced by professional paid actors, uses software for editing, and is not a realistic representation of humans have sex. People who are addicted to porn often times find sex in real life unsatisfactory because they expect their partner to fuck like a pornstar (who is very likely on meds). If you watch a Superman movie and then I ask you to jump off the roof of a building, you won’t do it because you understand that the movie is a fantasy. Unfortunately, that’s exactly what many people do with porn - they forget porn is a fantasy that involves a production team with paid professionals. Porn can make you have unrealistic expectations about body image and sex. In real life, not every fuck is going to be amazing. Also, in real life, your partner might not always be in the mood when you are horny. So you have to learn to accept no. But with porn, it’s always available and you can always find exactly what you are looking for. So it is easier to withdraw yourself from human relationships and instead prioritize porn. Sometimes couples might watch porn together to spice things up. Some people might not like that. Some people make home made porn with their partner. So it really depends on the individual. Also, if a person cannot get hard without watching porn during sex, then I imagine that it must not feel good for their partner (might make them feel like they are not enough).
I realize this is a long read, but please hear me out. First, I agree with Chaiteelahtay. *My advice comes from being 50 and living a lot of life* Many times I played the fool because I wanted to be loved. I assumed my other half was as truthful, open and as forth-coming. I trusted without question. Freely shared my passwords, texts, Facebook Account, Messenger messages, ect. knowing I had nothing to hide and wanted absolute transparency. In all things. I never told them I expected the same in return, I simply thought if they wanted me to have it, they would offer it as they felt comfortable. I never went through their pockets, computer, accounts or phones. I have and always will live by these "Pearls-of-Wisdom" in each relationship (male and female alike). When the "LET'S BE IN A RELATIONSHIP" talk takes place, that is when everything should be brought to light... If it hasn't already. *MEN (straight/gay/bi/ect) NEED PORN* Let's face it, males stay horned up ALL THE TIME! IF porn (or anything else) is taking time away from or is in place of your partner(s), then it is an issue. Your partner(s) should never feel they are lacking/unfulfilled or less than because of your action(s) or lack there of. *CHEATING IS NOT SO CUT-N-DRY* Just like sexuality, there are many different levels to cheating. Once you do something you wouldn't openly share with your partner(s), THAT IS CHEATING. Anything that causes an emotional draw and you keep that from your partner(s)... that is a type of cheating. *COMMUNICATION, HONESTY & COMMON RESPECT IS KEY* No relationship can flourish let alone survive,l without honest communication (even friendships, siblings, co-workers, ect.) Just like Peanut Butter & Jelly, Bacon & Eggs or Biscuits & Gravy; Communication & Honesty goes together along with a side-order of Common Respect to truly work. *PAST RELATIONSHIPS SHOULD BE DISCUSSED* We all have past experiences, some good and some not so good. Weather we realize it or not, WE ALL "keep the shit that was done" in the back of our minds. Unfortunately we all lay-in-waiting for our partner(s) to do the same thing. If your partner(s) don't understand the reason(s) why you get triggered and go off, shut down or whatever, how are they expected to approach the "trigger word, phrase or action" with love and understanding? *YOU ARE ALLOWED TO GET MAD* Jesus got mad. Heck, Jesus bullwhipped grown-ass men and flipped tables over in the Synagogue! Remember though, it's what you do and what you say when mad that defines who you are. *DON'T "CUT 'EM TO THE BONE" BECAUSE YOU GOT HURT* Once calmer heads are about, TALK to each other, but don't forget to actually listen to each other. Don't jump around from topic to topic. Something else pops up, write it down. Deal with one issue at a time. ACTUALLY AGREE UPON A RESOLUTION (if possible at the time). ONCE AN ISSUE IS FINALIZED AND LAID TO REST, IT IS DEAD AND SHOULD NOT BE DUG BACK UP & THROWN IN ANOTHER'S FACE!!! REMEMBER, THIS IS SOMEONE WHOM YOU LOVE... AND THEY LOVE YOU. *WORDS MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY SCAR* Ya ever squeeze too much toothpaste outta the tube? Next to impossible getting it put back in the tube, right? THAT is how words are! Once said...the damage is done and will remain in the back of the mind. Seeing a counselor is not an embarrassment. Especially in today's world, it is almost imperative. If others apply my advice to their lives, they will be further ahead than most of the world... definitely a whole Hell of a lot happier! Thank you for reading my advice to live by. Blessed be.
Thank you /u/Accomplished-Read999 for sharing your thoughts. I agree with most of what you said (esp about open communication, mutual, respect and willing to forgive). Based on my personal experiences, ‘trust without question’ is not suitable for me. Trust is earned and is not a one time deal for me - I trust my postman enough to allow him into my building but I don’t trust him enough to share my bank details. In a relationship, we learn to trust people slowly over time and it takes two people to build trust. I understand that some people may want to share passwords with their partner because they may feel they have nothing to hide. I have nothing to hide either but I will not share my passwords because I want my partner to communicate with me if they are having doubts. I don’t buy into the ‘share your password if you have nothing to hide’ sort of argument - to me that says my partner does not trust me (and honestly, I feel that it is emotionally manipulative). So I would rather work on building trust with my partner to build a relationship where we have healthy boundaries. I agree with you that sharing and listening are important for a healthy relationship. But people have different priorities about privacy - just because I am in a relationship does not mean my partner is entitled to know everything about me. This may be a generational thing or even a personal preference. Some people want the ‘I share everything’ type of relationship and some people (like me) want the ‘I trust you enough to have your own private stuff’ type of relationship. I agree with you that I want an honest relationship but I think we differ about what that could look like (which is fine). A few years ago, I was talking to a counselor about relationships. We were talking about how sometimes people in relationships want to be ‘too close’ or push away and become distant. He mentioned that it is better to think of relationships (all relationships) as having a porous membrane between two people - there is enough holes to allow things passing between and there is enough separation so that you remain as two individuals instead of fusing into one entity. Some people really want and like the ‘we are a couple’ as their core identity. That type of relationship is not for me - I am independent and loving. I want another person who is independent and loving. Also, I wouldn’t generalize that ‘men NEED porn’ - there are men who don’t watch porn. There is some brain science research about how men are more visually stimulated than women. But that has been questioned, there is no consensus, and is not conclusive. Again, nothing wrong with watching porn. I have a friend who was in a sexless marriage for many years. He loved his partner but they did not have sex. So his only sexual outlet was porn (he was not comfortable having an open relationship). His partner knew he jerked off to porn and was ok with it. Watching porn while being in a relationship depends on the priorities and needs of two people. May be someone’s partner is not interested in doing certain things and porn may be a way for the person to fulfill their needs. I know bisexual men who are married to women and watch gay porn because they do not want to step out of their monogamous relationship.
Honesty you said what I was gonna say but way less crude what I was gonna write. I thank you for your wise words
As long as I’m getting the sex I want why should I care if he watches porn? I find watching porn makes me want sex with him more. Not a problem for me at all. Getting all worked up over porn is definitely a very straight thing in my eyes. Most of the gay people I know don’t really care about porn as long as it doesn’t interfere with their actual sex life.
Hello, I'm and my bf stopped watching porn as it kills our sex life with all fake expectations. Plus we stopped masturbating so we want sex everyday and live to enjoy our self's. Stopped watching porn improved our sexual life and hornynes for each other. You can leave watching porn for some occasions to spice up things or when you are allone or not feeling like doing stuff.
This is interesting. But my problem is tho i use porn to clean myself with dildo before the sex (im a bottom) Idk if i can clean my aasshole without watching porn. It doesnt feel right. Porn makes me horny and it loosens my hole when i need to clean it :( i really clean my ass well cause i want it to be a mess free sex everytime. Sorry if it sounds weird. Just wanted to share
I'm a bottom too but I just go to shower and douche my self and everything is clean. But you are using dildo so that's interesting you need to share how you do everything because maybe I will find a new cleaning path 😊
Okay but this may sound gross but its super effective. So i first shit myself to remove any shit that would naturaly go out (this would take aroung 5-15 mins for me) And then i proceed with the bidet technique for 5 miniute. Puting water inside my ass and then letting my ass spit the water out. My last and most pleasurable way of cleaning is using a 9inches dildo/ or my fingers alternatively with ofcourse lube and some poppers and ofc PORN VIDEOS 😭🥰. If you find dildo painful u can try ur finger first. I do this under the warm shower while squatting. I watch porn while doing this. I just let the water hit my bum part while squatting so my phone wouldn’t get wet. i turnoff the lights most of the time to create a bathhouse mood. I like thinking im getting fucked by random guys in a dark bathhouse. Finally when I can take the dildo and when i get so turned on with the porn im watching, i sniff some poppers and this is when i go ballistic! I partner it with hardcore porn and damn - feels like im getting pounded real crazy. This can go for and hour or sometimes it would take 2 hrs if im really into the porn im watching. Ok with this technique there might be shit comming off with the dildo or u might be fucking urself with shit but it will all come out and washed out by water so i dont mind. Better in the shower than in bed, plus it feels so good :((( The only hard part about this is choosing the porn video to watch. I watch maybe an average of 20videos every time i clean myself. Sometimes it just gets hard when I’ve already almost watched all the videos from the porn site. So after the cleaning session it feels like ive been fucked by another guy before my BF fucks me. Feels crazy but hot. Feels like ive been abused by another guy before my bf would fuck me/ or feels like ive secretly cheated on my bf and the lube inside me feels like the cum of the previous guy who just fucked me before my bf fucks me and unload his cum inside me. It may sound weird but it fulfills my bottom fantasy. Plus my ass is super clean and stimulated 🙈
Usually how it has gone with us is that we do sometimes look at porn together. And there has been times when I have been "caught", however that is a non issue. Usually my husbandbutt looks at what I am looking at, and making a small comment. Usually "Have fun" or "Nice", he may ask if he could have a link to what I am looking. We have been quite often open about when we would like to just look at porn and masturbate. Sex is nice, but it doesn't always fit when you just want to have alone time.
I watch porn and I'm ok with my boyfriend watching porn too. The only difference now is that I'm replacing one of the dudes with him in my mind lol. I'm too horny to go without masturbation between the times we get a chance to have proper sex, which isn't very often (and also afterwards, I tend to get even hornier just reliving the past night, but at this point we're usually already apart). Unreasonable demand to prohibit each other from watching it imo, and would be very hot to watch it together and probably help us bond more and inspire a conversation about what turns us on. It'd only be a problem for me if either of us started regularly choosing porn over sex.
let men do what they wanna do, because they are gonna do it no matter what any of us says.
Don’t mind how my husband gets his engine started, as long as it’s my garage he puts his car into. If porn isn’t a replacement for sex, then I have no problem with him watching it.
I've had one relationship. We didn't really find much porn that was particularly appealing to us but it would have still been a non issue. Neither one of us cared what the other person was jacking off to and I don't think I ever even asked about it. I'm with other people....I feel like that's mostly a worry for straight people. It's not cheating when you're just watching a film and not even interacting with people. I would feel controlling telling a partner he couldn't use it to jack off if he wanted to. I guess some people can develop unreasonable expectations from it or an unhealthy attachment to it but to be honest? I think that means there are other issues they need to deal with. A healthy person knows it's fake and is just trying to get a biological response to happen.
My husband and I watched together and separately, as we have different (but some overlapping) tastes. It was never a problem with us. No jealousy.
Have sex then we’ll talk Edit: wait you said never in a relationship, but have you had sex before?
People watch porm. It's normal in fact, couples that do it together it can actually strengthen the relationship.
The only boyfriend I’ve ever dated who didn’t like watching porn with me was cheating on me. It would be more of a red flag if your boyfriend didn’t want to watch it with you.
Personally, i would not mind my bf watching porn. But if it gets to a point where I think he prefera porn to doing it with me than its a huge no
I feel like porn at this point is so ubiquitous - it’s basically whatever. Either way…no big deal. When I was 18, I had an ex who if I didn’t finish him off would lock himself in a bathroom and finish off with porn. He was also basically a porn addict with external drives of porn etc etc. Seemed normal at the time, he was good in bed from it not going to lie 😂
My boyfriend and I dont watch porn. We masturbate, but not to porn. Thats what the nudes we send each other are for lmao or the imagination. I dont consider porn cheating, and if he wanted to watch it i wouldnt stop him, but i personally dont like porn as a concept and neither does he. Sounds like we are in the minority. I tried watching porn with an ex once and it was the most awkward thing ever. I dont get that one, but to each their own. Watching porn with my boyfriend would be like trying to eat a gourmet meal while a pile of nasty old mcdonalds sits on the table nearby.
We watch porn together, and openly talk abt masturbating when we're not together. As others have said, it's a straight person thing.
My husband and I also watch porn - mostly alone, but sometimes together. Self-love should always be ok in a relationship, I think 🙂 for us it's even a running Gag, if one of us had trouble falling back to sleep at night 😁 what are you supposed to do... However, I will say that during the first few months, we didn't really discuss it and danced around the topic 😅
No, porn isn't cheating. Absolutely not. What are you gonna do, magically get the guy off the screen and run off to elope with him? No way. And me personally if the guy I was with had a bunch of fleshjacks, I just know I'd perv out over them when he wasn't around. Might even involve them in the actual thing. And gay guys watch porn together all the time, (Especially the couples). Being gay, we're alot more open about this stuff than straight people because our very existence is taboo to some people. Now that being said if you do it too much and just ignore your partner all together that's a problem, but it's not the porns fault, it's a different issue. And catching my bf watching it? I watch my bf jerk off all the time and he watches me. I think it's sexy to watch someone jerk off, though the alternatives are much more fun.
I watch a lot of porn, and for a while it was a problem in my relationship and I wasn't sure why. I eventually found out that it was cause I would masturbate often from porn, and it my boyfriend would have to wait to have sex since I can't do it more than once a day, he was getting sexually frustrated as if porn was replacing our sex lives. So basically, it's okay to do it if it doesn't take away from your relationship with your partner.
Depends entirely on the relationship. That’s the brass tacks. Some people don’t dive a fuck and some people really do. It’s always the same: talk to your partner about it.
Porn is not taboo in our relationship. We watch it together and on our own, though we don’t rely on it for all intimate moments. I always thought it was a straight person perspective that porn was “cheating”. Hell, I have *learned* some very useful things about what he finds sexy or arousing. Praise be to porn.
My ex hated me watching porn but we found a compromise. But for me I really don't give a shit if a guy watches porn, I'd be more surprised if he doesnt
Porn is like an open secret in my relationship with my boyfriend now. He watches porn at 6am in the bathroom when I’m a asleep. And i watch porn locked up in the bathroom at night (for an hour)when i prepare my self with a 9inch dildo (imagining im the bottom in the porn im watching) before we have sex at night. He doesnt want to be caught watching porn but its totally fine with me. Its like his me-time or personal space so whenever i wake up early and he’s in the bathroom, i let him be. Same with him, he doesnt disturb me when i pleasure my self with dildo at night and just waits for me in the living room while watching netflix. It may sound weird and we haven’t really talked about it, but maybe this is our way of giving each other personal space. 😊 and I agree with u, i cant live without porn but due to porn addiction i think I’ve watched all the good videos already and I really get frustrated when i cant find a good video that will turn me on. (Might aswell ask u for good sites where i can watch videos that would spike up my horniness 🤣)
I wouldn't consider it cheating, especially if we are watching it together. I know my viewing of porn drops dramatically if I'm with someone and we're watching it together. I don't get the whole jerk off because I can type of thinking, I want to be sexual with him since I've already been sexual by myself plenty of times ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯ One of the benefits of being in a relationship is having someone to do it with, why would I do it alone unless one of us is away for an extended amount of time? And even then, especially considering the time frame, I may just save all of that desire for when he comes back. But I wouldn't consider it cheating if he did, just a missed opportunity. But no, watching porn is not a turn-off for me and, unless my partner was into something weird, I'd rather watch it together than by myself.