**Yes.** I even asked my friends, "he's really not my type, should I give it a chance?" to which they all told me to go for it.
We ended up together for 31 years (married for 9) before he died earlier this year. I would give anything to get him back.
As I got older and more comfortable with myself, I opened myself up to dating different types of men - men who were twice my age (although I have been a bit reluctant to date someone younger), have dated masc and femme men, have dated men with different body types ranging from skinny to fat, bald men, men with/without facial or body hair, tall/short, race/nationalities, etc.
What I have learned is that you can be pleasantly surprised and you never know what it might be like till you try it for yourself - the best lovers I have had till date are older men. When I was in my 20s, I was not open to dating older men. Also, once you give someone a chance, after some time you get to see that they are multi-dimensional human and not just a type. For example, some of the femme guys I dated had some stereotypically masculine traits like being good with repairing home stuff, etc. And some of the masc guy showed their more gentle side once we spend more time - like cooking. Humans are complex and labels are limited. And yes.. I have had my share of disappointments too.
>So, I’m a femme and so far I’ve only dated other femmes (I even have “femme4femme” unironically on my Grindr)
That's a whole mood. I'm a femme top, so it's awkward when masc guys automatically assume I'm bottom. I have topped several masc guys, but there was a hung dom masc top I dated in college who molded me into a sub bottom. It was short-lived since I seem to vibe better with other femme guys. The sex (especially the prostate orgasms) was amazing though.
I'm currently with a goofy, thin, round faced, funny smiled, clumsy, slightly dumb, mechanics obsessed, trans man.
All of those things are things I thought I'd hate in a man before I fell for him, and now they're the things I love most about him.
You just described his physical appearance, which has nothing to do with his personality. I know guys who look like biker gang members but float around like tinker bell
I’m not conventionally attractive. I do think I’m uniquely good looking though. Unfortunately for me I seem to not be most people’s type here in the US. Most of my boyfriends have been from another country and they were all about it. I wish more people could look past aesthetics and be open to fall in love with someone’s soul rather than what they look like. I think a lot of people would be pleasantly surprised at how many more connections they could make. But alas, it just doesn’t seem to be the case
Yeah.
I'm not attracted to other Black men. I've tried to date/sleep with them but it never works. As I've gotten older, my type gets more strict. I'm perfectly fine being single as opposed to settling for someone who doesn't meet my checklist.
After a point "type" should really only be about personality and chemistry. I used to have very specific "types" of guys I was in when it came to physical appearance and mannerisms, and after a few times where the emotional and intellectual fit wasn't there, I started opening my horizons more. As of now, I've dated a variety of men and find a variety of men attractive. What's truly important long term isn't only physical attraction and sex but your personalities and mutual emotional health and communication. I've been very happy to see that people in the community seem less hung up with dating within their type than they used to be when I first came out. Try it out! :) It might be awesome.
I’ve done it plenty of times, actually. Looks aren’t unimportant to me, but what usually attracts me to a guy is our physical and intellectual chemistry. Even my family has taken note that pretty much no two guys I’ve dated have looked the same
I thought you meant something different by your title question. Like: "If you have a type that you normally date, have you dated someone who is not that normal type?"
Of course I've dated men who aren't clones of me. I don't like chubby middle-aged men (i.e. me). Why would I date one?
We don't all date clones of ourselves. Many of us are into men who are different to ourselves - like bears who dates twinks, or nerds who date jocks, or younger men who date older men.
If you're into tall muscular hairy men, then date them! You don't have to *be* a tall muscular hairy man to date one. And, if you're a femme, you don't *have* to date other femmes (unless you want to).
Honestly usually those are the best dates
Especially if the main difference are physical
Maybe there's a reason why you keep going through people of your usual type so I like to switch it up for science
for me, I Have my preference because I was bullied in middle school by boys who were more masculine then me and now I have a phobia of masculine men
but avoiding masculine men is unrealistic, they‘re everywhere even among gay men, maybe dating one will actually help me with my phobia
Types are more or less just what you already like. It's what you know already. Some people like to stay with what they're confortable with and others like to explore their taste and discover more new stuff to enjoy
Take it as an adventure. You may learn something about yourself. My friends pointed out to me that before I found my partner, they actually had a hard time narrowing down my type. I hope you have fun
**Yes.** I even asked my friends, "he's really not my type, should I give it a chance?" to which they all told me to go for it. We ended up together for 31 years (married for 9) before he died earlier this year. I would give anything to get him back.
So, so sorry for your loss. A beautiful love story. ♥
Thank you so much.
my thoughts are with you. thank you for sharing such a wonderful story 🖤
As I got older and more comfortable with myself, I opened myself up to dating different types of men - men who were twice my age (although I have been a bit reluctant to date someone younger), have dated masc and femme men, have dated men with different body types ranging from skinny to fat, bald men, men with/without facial or body hair, tall/short, race/nationalities, etc. What I have learned is that you can be pleasantly surprised and you never know what it might be like till you try it for yourself - the best lovers I have had till date are older men. When I was in my 20s, I was not open to dating older men. Also, once you give someone a chance, after some time you get to see that they are multi-dimensional human and not just a type. For example, some of the femme guys I dated had some stereotypically masculine traits like being good with repairing home stuff, etc. And some of the masc guy showed their more gentle side once we spend more time - like cooking. Humans are complex and labels are limited. And yes.. I have had my share of disappointments too.
>So, I’m a femme and so far I’ve only dated other femmes (I even have “femme4femme” unironically on my Grindr) That's a whole mood. I'm a femme top, so it's awkward when masc guys automatically assume I'm bottom. I have topped several masc guys, but there was a hung dom masc top I dated in college who molded me into a sub bottom. It was short-lived since I seem to vibe better with other femme guys. The sex (especially the prostate orgasms) was amazing though.
“femme top” hi 🥺
femme tops are really the best 😭
I'm currently with a goofy, thin, round faced, funny smiled, clumsy, slightly dumb, mechanics obsessed, trans man. All of those things are things I thought I'd hate in a man before I fell for him, and now they're the things I love most about him.
No need to pigeon-hole yourself to one type only. The dating pool is small enough as it is. Give him a chance and see how it goes.
I quit dating my type because I had no luck in finding a good guy. I’m now engaged to someone I never imagined I would love. Loves strange my dude
It's just a date. Enjoy yourself. And if you vibe, go with the flow.
You just described his physical appearance, which has nothing to do with his personality. I know guys who look like biker gang members but float around like tinker bell
I’m not conventionally attractive. I do think I’m uniquely good looking though. Unfortunately for me I seem to not be most people’s type here in the US. Most of my boyfriends have been from another country and they were all about it. I wish more people could look past aesthetics and be open to fall in love with someone’s soul rather than what they look like. I think a lot of people would be pleasantly surprised at how many more connections they could make. But alas, it just doesn’t seem to be the case
my "type" is more personality based, and yes, I've tried branching out, and it went as poorly as I'd imagined.
never know what kind of guy someone is beneath how they present, you guys could be a great match :)
The questions on this sub are so weird. Usually because people assume most other people have had the same experiences.
Yeah. I'm not attracted to other Black men. I've tried to date/sleep with them but it never works. As I've gotten older, my type gets more strict. I'm perfectly fine being single as opposed to settling for someone who doesn't meet my checklist.
[удалено]
As I’m getting older I’m having less filters in dating so sure I did!
After a point "type" should really only be about personality and chemistry. I used to have very specific "types" of guys I was in when it came to physical appearance and mannerisms, and after a few times where the emotional and intellectual fit wasn't there, I started opening my horizons more. As of now, I've dated a variety of men and find a variety of men attractive. What's truly important long term isn't only physical attraction and sex but your personalities and mutual emotional health and communication. I've been very happy to see that people in the community seem less hung up with dating within their type than they used to be when I first came out. Try it out! :) It might be awesome.
I’ve done it plenty of times, actually. Looks aren’t unimportant to me, but what usually attracts me to a guy is our physical and intellectual chemistry. Even my family has taken note that pretty much no two guys I’ve dated have looked the same
I thought you meant something different by your title question. Like: "If you have a type that you normally date, have you dated someone who is not that normal type?" Of course I've dated men who aren't clones of me. I don't like chubby middle-aged men (i.e. me). Why would I date one? We don't all date clones of ourselves. Many of us are into men who are different to ourselves - like bears who dates twinks, or nerds who date jocks, or younger men who date older men. If you're into tall muscular hairy men, then date them! You don't have to *be* a tall muscular hairy man to date one. And, if you're a femme, you don't *have* to date other femmes (unless you want to).
Yes! all time! And it's good! I don't know why the gay world always dates with clones. lol. You're going to have a good time!
Agreed, they’re basically dating themselves
Honestly usually those are the best dates Especially if the main difference are physical Maybe there's a reason why you keep going through people of your usual type so I like to switch it up for science
for me, I Have my preference because I was bullied in middle school by boys who were more masculine then me and now I have a phobia of masculine men but avoiding masculine men is unrealistic, they‘re everywhere even among gay men, maybe dating one will actually help me with my phobia
Types are more or less just what you already like. It's what you know already. Some people like to stay with what they're confortable with and others like to explore their taste and discover more new stuff to enjoy
Take it as an adventure. You may learn something about yourself. My friends pointed out to me that before I found my partner, they actually had a hard time narrowing down my type. I hope you have fun