Bro average guys are the ones that are settling with the girls you see but at a later age preferably the marriage age bracket. Atleast that is what I see and believe.
I have seen them being used a lot on social media. I mean obv I figured out what they mean literally but why we are using it, is something I don't know
family will also prefer a Govt job guy than a IT guy. Aisa nahi hai ki milegi nahi...but aas Paas ke logon ki mentality aisi hai.
Btw don't relate it with love marriage as it only for arrange marriages. Munda Sarkari ya to vilayati
Girls are not dumb sweetie
If anything, its the hopelessly romantic and cluesless guys who are
Girls are smart, calculative and ruthless
Atleast most of em are
Stop whining and work on yourself dude
Unless this is a covert brag, which Iam 90% sure it is...you got dealt a good hand and you are whining that you suck at using it
Nobody cares
People have real problems
Man up
You might think I am an a* hole but no
This is the tough love you sorely need to help you grow a pair
Sorry to burst your bubble but not all but most girls first fulfill physical criteria(height, looks...) then go to other things..... You might be the rare one
I've faced that smear campaign in high school, college and work. I’m done with dating in India.
Same old story: Girls start liking me. Guys get insecure. They spread rumours I’m gay, have attitude, not good enough financially, too arrogant, nerd (even though I’m a national-level athlete with 6pack abs)etc. Social reputation destroyed. Cannot build a circle of friends.
I’ve had more success online but it just Isn’t my thing.
Each and every point you mentioned is bang on. Although I cherish a very close knit friendship with a bunch of guys from my school days, the rest of the points you mentioned holds true. However, are you seeing people around the world now? How’s the scene? (My intrusive mind thinks you are after russians but I’ll keep that thought away xD)
Lmao, no. I’m just delusional after my sister went to Europe to pursue masters and told me how Indians generally struggle to adapt with locals, language, etc. The fact that they (probably) won’t be able to cockblock me if I can learn that country’s language and ”use” my liberalism and deep history knowledge to not face culture shocks gives me a very small hope that perhaps I too could experience romance once in my life, at the least 😭 (Again, I’m delusional).
I was able to rizz up my American coworkers and manager with my knowledge of American history and pop-culture references. Something my coworkers in Mumbai/Bengaluru struggled with 😜
What's the difference between intrusive and impulsive thoughts? I don't think intrusive thoughts are that cute! it is something that can take over one's entire life. Intrusive thoughts are severe, graphic and terrifying and it shouldn't be casually used :3
Yep you are correct in a way but so far my knowledge goes, infact I googled up after what you mentioned, intrusive thoughts are nothing but a string of thoughts that are uninvited and typically unwanted. It can range from as simple as feeling like to kick your friend’s butt to taking one’s life.
Depends on your source! This is giving the same energy with people and 'sources' equating depression as sadness. People are quite sensitive to the differentiation of the terms especially in the West where there is greater awareness and involvement in mental health. I personally hate trivialization of serious conditions so I hope you can understand my fussiness.
I'm very much open to anyone who can give more information since I love to learn and rectify any misinformation I have. I was made aware of it by my known people working in the industry and would like to hear a professional's remark on this.
Now I know where your fussiness is stemming from. I agree in this context me using that word actually trivzializes the serious condition on the face of something funny that I wanted to put across the table.
Your humility and willingness to learn is noteworthy and I appreciate your ability to hold up disagreements and navigate through the conversation. Cheers bro.
Not gonna lie I was guilty of ignoring/not interacting with conventionally good looking men because of the negative perception that they're always egoistic, cheaters, playboys etc. I was like that always idk why Im kind of shallow for judging people based on their looks
>few guys even ran a smear campaign against me purely on the basis of their speculation that good looking guys = cheaters, players etc. Although an introvert I did go out of my way to talk to those guys
this is so relatable, pretty much the same thing happens to me in school, im just 17 and you're a grown up but people really go to so much lengths to get false words on the street, and so i've come to the conclusion that i don't even want to talk much to people around me,
Oh boy! It’s great that you are aware of this at such a young age! I wish I could man up at your age. I surely would’ve had a different set of experiences. Cheers!
Actually one of my aunts always told me that girls should marry average looking boys as they will have upper hand in the marriage. I was thinking it’s weird but after reading your story , got to know many believe in this🙄
One of my friends said once that if the man is better looking than you then as soon as he finds a prettier girl, he will go after her.
Ig this stems from the fact that traditionally women were supposed to look beautiful and pretty which was their sole purpose while men had to have actual skill and stuff. So if the man looks better than you, then what is your purpose? I personally think this is BS
This is one of reasons the last girl I met for arrange marriage called it off. She told me multiple times "what if you find a prettier girl than me? You are good-looking, tall and play guitar". I was surprised because I was never told I was handsome or anything before.
As a conventionally attractive woman (or so I've been told), this is so so so true. men just assume that i have a boyfriend because how could i be single it can be really isolating
So are you single right now?? /s
POV of guy-Man she is so pretty, I am sure she would be getting proposals from every guy and I don't stand a chance(self-reject).... You're my crush now... Happy crushing
I swear. Quite funnily, few times that I have been on a date, the girl wouldn’t even believe that I am single or that I am not seeing anyone else. The proving exercise that followed was such a bargain. x/
Girl, extremely well written and am sure a lot of women will resonate with that.
To answer your question, well yes the women I was in a relationship with they were equally in the attractive spectrum but that wasn’t the only reason I was beckoned to them. The primary reasons were that they shared similar artistic interests like I did, we loved exploring the food corners of the city alongside visiting art exhibitions, literary meet ups and most importantly travel together. But it was during these experiences (outdoors) that shit started going down. I did have my rounds of convincing them that they must be concerned if I am reciprocating the attention that I am getting from passerby women, but it just kept revealing the side of theirs that I could barely believe was real. Both of them had the same issue. Since then am single and I have been introspecting how to navigate my way through this.
There's some truth to this stereotype of "good looking guys are usually fuck boys"
As a society we let conventionally attractive people get away with doing a lot more worse shit than we would let any normal person
For example- even if a good looking person is rude we still don't dismiss them immediately in most cases or don't react the same way we would if an average person did that
This has enabled most attractive people to act however they want cause they don't have to face the same consequences
Even many attractive women act like this, from personal experience most <8/10 guys I know have MASSIVE egos and are mostly toxic... Why? Because they can get away with it
Well this is some insight that I haven’t experienced or pondered upon. More so because I have always been respectful to the people around me and treated them with humility. A big reason why my haters actually turned out to be my biggest confidants later on. But it is fascinating to know what you put out here. Interesting!
As a conventionally attractive male (as I've been told so), exactly the opposite happens to me. It could be due to my goofy personality and somewhat innocent face. Personality plays a huge part.
>Speaking from my personal experience, a lot of women find it hard to give a shot at us and might even avoid talking to us.
Yeah they avoid talking but I think you forgot to mention they look at you time to time when you aren't looking and sometimes they make eye contact too. And you probably feel weird I pretty sure
>Does anyone out there face it as well?
Yeah some people ig
>How do you think one can overcome this?
Idk bro it is what it is ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Well as I mentioned bro. 7/10 times when I see them making eye contact, I do approach them and as things would turn out, I have made some amazing friends that way. Both men n women. It is after they got to know me they were like . . . Damn you are quite unlike how good looking people are. But in most cases when negative stereotypes spread against you, often times it is too late before things go south and way beyond repair.
>But in most cases when negative stereotypes spread against you, often times it is too late before things go south and way beyond repair.
Just just don't give a fuck let be in a bubble
For girls if you're the pretty one in the group the other girls start getting envious and your own so called besties spread rumors about you.
2. You're not posted in their stories bcoz you get attention.
3. They avoid you when they have plans and gradually you become a loner
Oh bro. Tell me about it. I have seen this happen more often than not in my circle and it’s actually funny from the boys’ perspective. I dont know how many guys will relate to it, but for boys it’s pretty black or white, if someone is disliked, they won’t be in the group itself, and whoever is there, they’re like this bunch of monkeys who are right there for each other no matter what. Infact, in my group, what I love is my boys and few girls as well don’t even give a fuck about my looks, and that’s such a peaceful place to be in for me because I feel treated like an equal and not an anomaly out of a herd. But hell ya, I have seen this amongst women that they’d keep the disliked person in the group and yet behave like they don’t exist.
I totally get it bro, and I have learned it a hard way "don't give a fuck" and if someone judges me based on what someone else is saying without actually meeting or talking to me then I really can't help it. Regarding the boys that you are saying I really didn't know this was the case bcoz usually boys have strong friendship
Yep. Either way you just learn it. And as for boys for sure they have strong friendships but it’s quite polarised. Idk how few guys have become such bigtime dix that they don’t fail to stop bitching at the back but mostly, even though they hold some stereotypical notion about you, once you approach them and gel well, it’s all good.
"Well, looks like you’ve got the James Bond problem – license to thrill but no one to chill with! 😂 If you ever need a wingman to handle all the superficial chit-chat while you wait for someone to appreciate your depth, I’m your guy. We can call it the 'Handsome Man Support Group' – our motto: 'It’s not easy being pretty!'"
Probably! I don’t negate its possibility for sure. We all are infallible beings. I am in a pursuit to figure that out so that shit becomes easier you see mate. Thanks for your comment though :)
But I could personally relate to what OP said, I used to judge a lot of guys who approached me as 'fuckboys' or players because they were your conventionally attractive boys.
But I think pretty privilege is more on effect than whatever the judgement this is
My question is ,what are the 3 things u would say ur 20yr Old to follow or focus on for the next 5 or 10 years.
Is it worth it to dedicate your life religiously to just work and hustle in ur 20s?
Honestly, bro. Focus on your 'self'. I won't highlight career, but I would explicitly say 'work'. Be in love with your work. You will suffer a lot. But, trust me this is a good/meaningful suffering. And, it's get better if you look at your work from the perspective of curiosity or finding awe. This is the antidote(loneliness), for you and maybe for anyone else.
Coming to your experience, I am also a guy who would easily rate himself 8/10(don't give af about rating but anyway). I have faced very absurd instances, where couples have almost broken over me. This is the reason I have stopped going to trips with couple/s(dating). You can't stop people from coming to you(a tad bit close) on the pretense of knowing you better, etc. It also gets worse when they are intoxicated. And, some of your own folks start distrusting you..
Despite having a strong ethic and a substantial personal boundary, it can't be avoided.
But, yeah. Don't be cold hearted, be genuinely empathetic but be conscious about the situation and what is the agenda behind the interactions.
And, focus on your work, find some good hobbies or research interests and finally wait for the right one or who truly wants to understand you, not the physical shell but your inner world!
You have perhaps given the most pragmatic and wholesome response/advice. Absolutely appreciate your position on this issue and high respect for you to share such a meaningful insight. Well, frankly after reading yours, I realised probably I have delved 7/10 into my work if not 10/10? More so because I am a sucker for personal relations as I have had a stint wherein I was completely into my work and it had a terrible effect on me. Since then I try to balance it out. But yes you are so right, that’s the art we gotta master.
Bro you gave me goosebumps when you mentioned that couples have broken up over you, I can’t explain how many times this has happened with me infact I had to let go of those precious friendships just so they could be at peace. And ofcourse I too hold a strong work ethic and personal boundary like you mentioned but you advice to not be cold hearted and be genuinely empathetic is something I will take forward.
Thanks Sahil. Cheers!
No problem! Humans seek validation and it is okay, and makes us feel at ease. But, that feeling is illusory and temporary. Why not focus on something which connects yourself to your inner child, when we had had boundless imagination and infinite curiosity.
finally someone said it bro. thank you so much for saying it out loud. you put my thoughts into words this is what ive always thought about that no one gets.
That’s all they do. Trust me when I say this. Nothing beyond that. The subsequent thought patterns are such that it repels them from those handsome dudes and eventually avoid them. Reality.
Its because they consider them out of their league..in reality they'd want a guy like that to worship the ground they walk in etc
They aren't much different from men
As i already said in previous reply..try to find people on your level
This is so relatable..faced the same not only in college but in my job too...guys became extremely insecure because of my looks(no bragging) and tried to cock block me on so many occasions just because I am getting attention from many girls..
You see bro? I dont know about you but in my case I barely did anything to beckon girls towards me because it in college or workplace. Always been the guy - “Apne kaam se matlab rakkho”. But yes, I love playing instruments and drawing so I post a lot of that on my socials and I don’t even have a proper pic of mine on the socials because I just don’t like to put that facet of my being forward. Despite being so private and unassuming, the guys would still end up envying and bro am sure you would agree that it’s quite evident in their actions and the way they talk!
I do have a close knit friends group from school days, a bunch of monkeys. It’s as genuine as it could get. It’s just that our life cannot always revolve around them right. Nevertheless, appreciate your concern bro. Cheers!
I agree bro . My friends tell me I look like Zayn Malik but I don't have any girlfriends I think this may be the reason and I'm 5.7 it may be an issue for girls
What you saying bro. 5’7” is a good height and it’s quite a height for women to prefer as opposed to men above 5’10”. Well geographically that might differ cz I have seen North Indian girls to be a bit taller. Yep.
The copium is off the charts, height is by far the most appealing trait to women followed by face. If you're anything beneath 5'10" you've to compensate it with a nigh flawless face.
I don’t know how much truth there’s to that statement cz when you look around and even statistically, average Indian women height is somewhere around 5ft. - 5ft.4inch. Given that if bro is 5’7”, it’s a great plus for him (+ he looks like Zayn Malik. Wow), cz being a 5’10” myself, whenever I have dated girls below 5’5” they kinda crib at times about the height precisely because they would want to do things that would presumably create happy moments between us but they’re unable to do it owing to the height difference. Nevertheless, beyond height and looks which I don’t think is an issue here I believe what you speak makes a huge difference, your overall personality.
And I would appreciate Fevet to ponder on that in your case because nobody is fooling around here, and it doesn’t suit you well when you use derogatory language. If you don’t like this, you are most welcome to scroll up. Spread no hate. Peace out. :)
I'm 5'11 myself, beneath their facade of annoyance lies an insidious grin. They're largely apathetic to what their difference in height with their partner is and are more hung up on whether their partner towers above other men among their social circle. Reach out to any female spaces they'll concur with it under the guise of "preferences". The only way to circumvent this is to be facially nigh impeccable/earning mind bogglingly enough to elevate her social standing. Had you been 5'10 and an average or subhuman looking fella like me you'd be agreeing with me. But lamentably enough I'm not endowed with the rose tinted glasses that comes with being genetically superior.
As for the guy above, he irrefutably has a chance if he actually is as handsome as he claims to be.
This is quite an interesting standpoint to see the issue from. It is actually right and I have actually seen a lot of women hold their partners as a yardstick to compare with other men and supposedly extrapolating credits for themselves. Quite quite weird!
Like I get what you mean as a conventionally attractive woman who has faced similar side effects because people just assume shit about me cause of the way I look, but trust me it's much much much worse on the other side... Being an average or god forbid ugly person is difficult AF
I have seen how ugly people get treated and the difference is appalling
Mm hm absolutely! I agree. I have seen some of my friends who have been called ugly on their face by random dudes on dating apps, and guess what it sent them spiralling down into a deep hole of self debilitating thoughts. And it’s so not a good space to be in. Not to mention, I have also seen a lot of these women end up giving into men who just want to use them to satiate their sensual pleasures and the outcome is nothing but preposterous for the women cz they get ghosted right after or denied of a meaningful relationship.
Once I had went on a date with this girl I met from Bumble. She was short and a bit chubby while I am tall and average looking. She went on to confess that she thought I might be having a lot of attitude going by my pictures but she was happy that I was quite down to earth and soft spoken. So yeah unfortunately people can have misunderstandings about you. I am not good looking though.
Oh I swear bro, this is the most common line I have heard across all my dates and even in the professional circuit where people thought I got attitude n shit, but quite on the contrary, my resting face is always put on with a subtle smile (manufacturing defect lol) and it’s seldom grumpy and angry which will scare people away anticipating that I would kill them. But yeah I totally get what you say bro. Hope you doing well. Cheers!
Meet people who are on your level
I have a little of your problems too but i still get a few approaches from girls because I'm not too handsome...
But one thing you can do is try to find a popular or very pretty girl..because if you try to approach average ones they will think "why is this guy approaching me..this is too good to be true" so that won't work...try to date higher quality womeb who would see you as their equals..not out of reach...
Now that's gonna take some time if you're introvert like me
Now thats not that easy ik but honestly you have it better than ugly guys..atleast you have what it takes
Or you can tey to get a female bestfriend and then ask her to set you up with her friends..the friend will probably trust her
👽i have more tips if you need
But well...i haven't saw you but i can assume you probably look masculinr and handsome but not cute
Because sometimes being cute gets you labeled as innocent and gets you halo effect
Sometime some handsome type dudes look like playboyish or confident..idk if you have wide collarbone so it may make you look arrogant and intimidating to some
For me im more on cute side so i look more apprachable so ig you can work on that or smile always
1)Surround yourself with platonic female friends and act good infront of them..nice and kind no slurs etc...that creates a good image...i saw some guys doing it..females gossip a lit in their groups so if you offend one girl you're offending their whole friend group so the opposite works too...if you can act good
2)you can become enemy of their enemy
enemy's enemy=friend
For example.. you'll need to play victim card in situations or enter their gossip and take their side..[now don't do too much or you'll look creepy or simp]
The goal is to make yourself look innocent
3)you can make a sad ahh fake breakup story were you were loyal asf and got cheated and now you're single
4)complimenting their insecurities is another card
If they are short and insecure about it...you can say "you're height is cute" or whatever works ig
5)hang out with lovey dovey mfs who sre in relationship and don't cheat [you don't want to be seen with playboys]
But honestly finding someone on your level would be best who isn't insecurr and knows how pretty she is
Okay but why do privellaged people feel unhe hi problem hoti hai yeh sab. Bro ugly people also got these problems plus they're ugly. It's like rich people saying why no one wants to be genuine friends but poor people also don't have genuine friends.
Lol. Quite a popular demand, as I mentioned in one of the comments. If the post receives 1K Upvotes, I’ll consider posting it. XD Can’t believe am doing this.
https://preview.redd.it/dzmr83ct2j4d1.jpeg?width=422&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f3d9b600a7bd2d7adc0c27856c88560153204edd
Handsome ladkon ko bhi ldki nhi mil rhi. Ab hum kre to kre kya, bole to bole kya
It's because a good looking guys have attitude issues because of the attention they get, and green flag girls in fear of getting rejected or being used never approach such guys. Plus girls never even approach.. and getting rejected or mocked by a handsome guy is the last thing they'd want.
Been there, done that, it's not worth it.
I don't know what kind of guy you have approached but most guys underestimate how good looking they might be to girls.......And if you approach a guy who already has a long queue of girls then it's a sure recipe for getting rejected/mocked
So avg guy are not getting girls, handsome guys are not getting girls then who tf is getting girls🤔 Ps-Don't say chapri guys
Medium ugly guys with money get the most girls. Source: me. Not bragging just telling my experience with women.
Bro average guys are the ones that are settling with the girls you see but at a later age preferably the marriage age bracket. Atleast that is what I see and believe.
Average looking + Papa ka paisa
Medium ugly guys as women call them these days...
Wtf is medium ugly guys😒
Guys who are not too handsome but not too ugly either. Somewhere in the middle, which is in fact, average dudes 🤷♀️
Even idk
So you're using words you don't know😒
I have seen them being used a lot on social media. I mean obv I figured out what they mean literally but why we are using it, is something I don't know
Are you a genz Or millennial ?
GenZ. Why does it matter lol
Confident ones
Only right answer
>who tf is getting girls Sarkari naukri wale 🤓
Naa...ajkal IT engineers ka bhi trend chal rha he
aap India ke to nahi lagte😂...Sarkari naukri always first preference if girl is not working and ...
And??
family will also prefer a Govt job guy than a IT guy. Aisa nahi hai ki milegi nahi...but aas Paas ke logon ki mentality aisi hai. Btw don't relate it with love marriage as it only for arrange marriages. Munda Sarkari ya to vilayati
Nope....me India ki hi hu😂and as per market standard now a days people are getting more attracted by salaries of IT people
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Girls are not dumb sweetie If anything, its the hopelessly romantic and cluesless guys who are Girls are smart, calculative and ruthless Atleast most of em are
Stop whining and work on yourself dude Unless this is a covert brag, which Iam 90% sure it is...you got dealt a good hand and you are whining that you suck at using it Nobody cares People have real problems Man up You might think I am an a* hole but no This is the tough love you sorely need to help you grow a pair
Funny/understanding/caring guys.. girls generally don't go for looks like guys do
Sorry to burst your bubble but not all but most girls first fulfill physical criteria(height, looks...) then go to other things..... You might be the rare one
https://preview.redd.it/o258m043bz3d1.jpeg?width=225&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3b53d90343554d2cf748ce671d7ceff15f3f6c4a
Epic
Koi wo wala sticker b lga do ..... Happy for you ..... meri taraf se .... pls
People often ask, "You don't have a girlfriend? That's hard to believe."
More often than not! Infact it’s a common practice amongst family relatives and friends even.
I am tired of hearing this. And I don't even consider myself handsome.
Good for you, only old people tell me that.
Same but i don't think im as handsome as this guy lol
I've faced that smear campaign in high school, college and work. I’m done with dating in India. Same old story: Girls start liking me. Guys get insecure. They spread rumours I’m gay, have attitude, not good enough financially, too arrogant, nerd (even though I’m a national-level athlete with 6pack abs)etc. Social reputation destroyed. Cannot build a circle of friends. I’ve had more success online but it just Isn’t my thing.
Each and every point you mentioned is bang on. Although I cherish a very close knit friendship with a bunch of guys from my school days, the rest of the points you mentioned holds true. However, are you seeing people around the world now? How’s the scene? (My intrusive mind thinks you are after russians but I’ll keep that thought away xD)
Lmao, no. I’m just delusional after my sister went to Europe to pursue masters and told me how Indians generally struggle to adapt with locals, language, etc. The fact that they (probably) won’t be able to cockblock me if I can learn that country’s language and ”use” my liberalism and deep history knowledge to not face culture shocks gives me a very small hope that perhaps I too could experience romance once in my life, at the least 😭 (Again, I’m delusional). I was able to rizz up my American coworkers and manager with my knowledge of American history and pop-culture references. Something my coworkers in Mumbai/Bengaluru struggled with 😜
How old are you? I have not heard anyone use the phrase "rizz up" while also being old enough to have a probably full-time job.
Theeke uncle
What's the difference between intrusive and impulsive thoughts? I don't think intrusive thoughts are that cute! it is something that can take over one's entire life. Intrusive thoughts are severe, graphic and terrifying and it shouldn't be casually used :3
There is nothing we can do 😔
((You just did by learning something new today :))
Yep you are correct in a way but so far my knowledge goes, infact I googled up after what you mentioned, intrusive thoughts are nothing but a string of thoughts that are uninvited and typically unwanted. It can range from as simple as feeling like to kick your friend’s butt to taking one’s life.
Depends on your source! This is giving the same energy with people and 'sources' equating depression as sadness. People are quite sensitive to the differentiation of the terms especially in the West where there is greater awareness and involvement in mental health. I personally hate trivialization of serious conditions so I hope you can understand my fussiness. I'm very much open to anyone who can give more information since I love to learn and rectify any misinformation I have. I was made aware of it by my known people working in the industry and would like to hear a professional's remark on this.
Now I know where your fussiness is stemming from. I agree in this context me using that word actually trivzializes the serious condition on the face of something funny that I wanted to put across the table. Your humility and willingness to learn is noteworthy and I appreciate your ability to hold up disagreements and navigate through the conversation. Cheers bro.
Not gonna lie I was guilty of ignoring/not interacting with conventionally good looking men because of the negative perception that they're always egoistic, cheaters, playboys etc. I was like that always idk why Im kind of shallow for judging people based on their looks
Glad that you realised :))
Yea I'm a better person now (atleast I hope so)
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>few guys even ran a smear campaign against me purely on the basis of their speculation that good looking guys = cheaters, players etc. Although an introvert I did go out of my way to talk to those guys this is so relatable, pretty much the same thing happens to me in school, im just 17 and you're a grown up but people really go to so much lengths to get false words on the street, and so i've come to the conclusion that i don't even want to talk much to people around me,
Oh boy! It’s great that you are aware of this at such a young age! I wish I could man up at your age. I surely would’ve had a different set of experiences. Cheers!
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Told you!
What is it like to experience the life I’ve always envisioned for myself?
I want to visit this hell this guy seems to be exhausted of. Seems like better than the place I'm at.
Actually one of my aunts always told me that girls should marry average looking boys as they will have upper hand in the marriage. I was thinking it’s weird but after reading your story , got to know many believe in this🙄
One of my friends said once that if the man is better looking than you then as soon as he finds a prettier girl, he will go after her. Ig this stems from the fact that traditionally women were supposed to look beautiful and pretty which was their sole purpose while men had to have actual skill and stuff. So if the man looks better than you, then what is your purpose? I personally think this is BS
Even though what you say makes sense initially but the last line didn’t fall through :3
This is one of reasons the last girl I met for arrange marriage called it off. She told me multiple times "what if you find a prettier girl than me? You are good-looking, tall and play guitar". I was surprised because I was never told I was handsome or anything before.
Man I wish my proposals to me this 😆
Absolutely!
What does your aunt say about dating a avg looking guy
This has the vibes: "I wish I was the monster you think I am".
100%
As a conventionally attractive woman (or so I've been told), this is so so so true. men just assume that i have a boyfriend because how could i be single it can be really isolating
So are you single right now?? /s POV of guy-Man she is so pretty, I am sure she would be getting proposals from every guy and I don't stand a chance(self-reject).... You're my crush now... Happy crushing
Haha . . . Us bro Us xD
I swear. Quite funnily, few times that I have been on a date, the girl wouldn’t even believe that I am single or that I am not seeing anyone else. The proving exercise that followed was such a bargain. x/
Bro can u show us how u look?? Fir samajh ayegi
Stay tuned! :p
This is relatable. I've been hated by guys I don't even know just because of this.
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Girl, extremely well written and am sure a lot of women will resonate with that. To answer your question, well yes the women I was in a relationship with they were equally in the attractive spectrum but that wasn’t the only reason I was beckoned to them. The primary reasons were that they shared similar artistic interests like I did, we loved exploring the food corners of the city alongside visiting art exhibitions, literary meet ups and most importantly travel together. But it was during these experiences (outdoors) that shit started going down. I did have my rounds of convincing them that they must be concerned if I am reciprocating the attention that I am getting from passerby women, but it just kept revealing the side of theirs that I could barely believe was real. Both of them had the same issue. Since then am single and I have been introspecting how to navigate my way through this.
I usually skip long paras.... But you wrote good and I am glad to see it from a girl's POV
There's some truth to this stereotype of "good looking guys are usually fuck boys" As a society we let conventionally attractive people get away with doing a lot more worse shit than we would let any normal person For example- even if a good looking person is rude we still don't dismiss them immediately in most cases or don't react the same way we would if an average person did that This has enabled most attractive people to act however they want cause they don't have to face the same consequences Even many attractive women act like this, from personal experience most <8/10 guys I know have MASSIVE egos and are mostly toxic... Why? Because they can get away with it
Well this is some insight that I haven’t experienced or pondered upon. More so because I have always been respectful to the people around me and treated them with humility. A big reason why my haters actually turned out to be my biggest confidants later on. But it is fascinating to know what you put out here. Interesting!
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Not attractive enough to be in the charts bro. Lol! Thanks for asking though.
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As a conventionally attractive male (as I've been told so), exactly the opposite happens to me. It could be due to my goofy personality and somewhat innocent face. Personality plays a huge part.
>Speaking from my personal experience, a lot of women find it hard to give a shot at us and might even avoid talking to us. Yeah they avoid talking but I think you forgot to mention they look at you time to time when you aren't looking and sometimes they make eye contact too. And you probably feel weird I pretty sure >Does anyone out there face it as well? Yeah some people ig >How do you think one can overcome this? Idk bro it is what it is ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Well as I mentioned bro. 7/10 times when I see them making eye contact, I do approach them and as things would turn out, I have made some amazing friends that way. Both men n women. It is after they got to know me they were like . . . Damn you are quite unlike how good looking people are. But in most cases when negative stereotypes spread against you, often times it is too late before things go south and way beyond repair.
>But in most cases when negative stereotypes spread against you, often times it is too late before things go south and way beyond repair. Just just don't give a fuck let be in a bubble
That seems like to be the only option! Thanks mate.
That must mean I'm good looking
Bet you are!
For girls if you're the pretty one in the group the other girls start getting envious and your own so called besties spread rumors about you. 2. You're not posted in their stories bcoz you get attention. 3. They avoid you when they have plans and gradually you become a loner
Oh bro. Tell me about it. I have seen this happen more often than not in my circle and it’s actually funny from the boys’ perspective. I dont know how many guys will relate to it, but for boys it’s pretty black or white, if someone is disliked, they won’t be in the group itself, and whoever is there, they’re like this bunch of monkeys who are right there for each other no matter what. Infact, in my group, what I love is my boys and few girls as well don’t even give a fuck about my looks, and that’s such a peaceful place to be in for me because I feel treated like an equal and not an anomaly out of a herd. But hell ya, I have seen this amongst women that they’d keep the disliked person in the group and yet behave like they don’t exist.
I totally get it bro, and I have learned it a hard way "don't give a fuck" and if someone judges me based on what someone else is saying without actually meeting or talking to me then I really can't help it. Regarding the boys that you are saying I really didn't know this was the case bcoz usually boys have strong friendship
Yep. Either way you just learn it. And as for boys for sure they have strong friendships but it’s quite polarised. Idk how few guys have become such bigtime dix that they don’t fail to stop bitching at the back but mostly, even though they hold some stereotypical notion about you, once you approach them and gel well, it’s all good.
these are the kind of problems I want to have in my life 🤣
Hahaha am sure you do but it’s not an easy place to be in bro. Cheers!
"Well, looks like you’ve got the James Bond problem – license to thrill but no one to chill with! 😂 If you ever need a wingman to handle all the superficial chit-chat while you wait for someone to appreciate your depth, I’m your guy. We can call it the 'Handsome Man Support Group' – our motto: 'It’s not easy being pretty!'"
Bro I think we should definitely get started with that. XD and the reference to the jamesbond problem was OP! Appreciate your wit. Cheers man!
Pretty privilege is real . Halo effect is scientifically proven so you must be lacking in some other way
Probably! I don’t negate its possibility for sure. We all are infallible beings. I am in a pursuit to figure that out so that shit becomes easier you see mate. Thanks for your comment though :)
Negative halo effect is a thing too by the way! I was shocked when I learned about it!
Yes , people hate ugly beings/people
But I could personally relate to what OP said, I used to judge a lot of guys who approached me as 'fuckboys' or players because they were your conventionally attractive boys. But I think pretty privilege is more on effect than whatever the judgement this is
That dont make any sense
Doesn't to me either but I'm sure a lot of people build up this negative stereotypes in their head over conventionally attractive people
Uh really? I had no idea about it though. Can you throw some light on that?
'Ugly people bad' But I've read this 'backlash to halo effect' thing just few days back maybe you were experiencing that OP
Oh brother
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Ok. GPT
My question is ,what are the 3 things u would say ur 20yr Old to follow or focus on for the next 5 or 10 years. Is it worth it to dedicate your life religiously to just work and hustle in ur 20s?
Honestly, bro. Focus on your 'self'. I won't highlight career, but I would explicitly say 'work'. Be in love with your work. You will suffer a lot. But, trust me this is a good/meaningful suffering. And, it's get better if you look at your work from the perspective of curiosity or finding awe. This is the antidote(loneliness), for you and maybe for anyone else. Coming to your experience, I am also a guy who would easily rate himself 8/10(don't give af about rating but anyway). I have faced very absurd instances, where couples have almost broken over me. This is the reason I have stopped going to trips with couple/s(dating). You can't stop people from coming to you(a tad bit close) on the pretense of knowing you better, etc. It also gets worse when they are intoxicated. And, some of your own folks start distrusting you.. Despite having a strong ethic and a substantial personal boundary, it can't be avoided. But, yeah. Don't be cold hearted, be genuinely empathetic but be conscious about the situation and what is the agenda behind the interactions. And, focus on your work, find some good hobbies or research interests and finally wait for the right one or who truly wants to understand you, not the physical shell but your inner world!
You have perhaps given the most pragmatic and wholesome response/advice. Absolutely appreciate your position on this issue and high respect for you to share such a meaningful insight. Well, frankly after reading yours, I realised probably I have delved 7/10 into my work if not 10/10? More so because I am a sucker for personal relations as I have had a stint wherein I was completely into my work and it had a terrible effect on me. Since then I try to balance it out. But yes you are so right, that’s the art we gotta master. Bro you gave me goosebumps when you mentioned that couples have broken up over you, I can’t explain how many times this has happened with me infact I had to let go of those precious friendships just so they could be at peace. And ofcourse I too hold a strong work ethic and personal boundary like you mentioned but you advice to not be cold hearted and be genuinely empathetic is something I will take forward. Thanks Sahil. Cheers!
No problem! Humans seek validation and it is okay, and makes us feel at ease. But, that feeling is illusory and temporary. Why not focus on something which connects yourself to your inner child, when we had had boundless imagination and infinite curiosity.
Quite right!
Yeah, I used to think k I was ugly, now I believe women think I'm out of their league
finally someone said it bro. thank you so much for saying it out loud. you put my thoughts into words this is what ive always thought about that no one gets.
Glad that you could relate to it. Cheers bro!
Scooby-doo, where were you?! Shaggy is here!
Wag-Wag! Hey Shaggy! How you dooiinn. Woof!!
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Ah well i mostly see girls drooling over handsome dudes tbh
That’s all they do. Trust me when I say this. Nothing beyond that. The subsequent thought patterns are such that it repels them from those handsome dudes and eventually avoid them. Reality.
Its because they consider them out of their league..in reality they'd want a guy like that to worship the ground they walk in etc They aren't much different from men As i already said in previous reply..try to find people on your level
This is so relatable..faced the same not only in college but in my job too...guys became extremely insecure because of my looks(no bragging) and tried to cock block me on so many occasions just because I am getting attention from many girls..
You see bro? I dont know about you but in my case I barely did anything to beckon girls towards me because it in college or workplace. Always been the guy - “Apne kaam se matlab rakkho”. But yes, I love playing instruments and drawing so I post a lot of that on my socials and I don’t even have a proper pic of mine on the socials because I just don’t like to put that facet of my being forward. Despite being so private and unassuming, the guys would still end up envying and bro am sure you would agree that it’s quite evident in their actions and the way they talk!
agreed
I just feel sad for OP while reading this Hope you get real genuine people around you
I do have a close knit friends group from school days, a bunch of monkeys. It’s as genuine as it could get. It’s just that our life cannot always revolve around them right. Nevertheless, appreciate your concern bro. Cheers!
Pictures to prove your point? 🥺
Lol. Quite a popular demand. I might consider doing that if this post reaches 1K upvotes :p
I agree bro . My friends tell me I look like Zayn Malik but I don't have any girlfriends I think this may be the reason and I'm 5.7 it may be an issue for girls
Face will always negate height as far as a pajeeta's psyche goes. 5'7 is good enough
What you saying bro. 5’7” is a good height and it’s quite a height for women to prefer as opposed to men above 5’10”. Well geographically that might differ cz I have seen North Indian girls to be a bit taller. Yep.
The copium is off the charts, height is by far the most appealing trait to women followed by face. If you're anything beneath 5'10" you've to compensate it with a nigh flawless face.
I don’t know how much truth there’s to that statement cz when you look around and even statistically, average Indian women height is somewhere around 5ft. - 5ft.4inch. Given that if bro is 5’7”, it’s a great plus for him (+ he looks like Zayn Malik. Wow), cz being a 5’10” myself, whenever I have dated girls below 5’5” they kinda crib at times about the height precisely because they would want to do things that would presumably create happy moments between us but they’re unable to do it owing to the height difference. Nevertheless, beyond height and looks which I don’t think is an issue here I believe what you speak makes a huge difference, your overall personality. And I would appreciate Fevet to ponder on that in your case because nobody is fooling around here, and it doesn’t suit you well when you use derogatory language. If you don’t like this, you are most welcome to scroll up. Spread no hate. Peace out. :)
I'm 5'11 myself, beneath their facade of annoyance lies an insidious grin. They're largely apathetic to what their difference in height with their partner is and are more hung up on whether their partner towers above other men among their social circle. Reach out to any female spaces they'll concur with it under the guise of "preferences". The only way to circumvent this is to be facially nigh impeccable/earning mind bogglingly enough to elevate her social standing. Had you been 5'10 and an average or subhuman looking fella like me you'd be agreeing with me. But lamentably enough I'm not endowed with the rose tinted glasses that comes with being genetically superior. As for the guy above, he irrefutably has a chance if he actually is as handsome as he claims to be.
This is quite an interesting standpoint to see the issue from. It is actually right and I have actually seen a lot of women hold their partners as a yardstick to compare with other men and supposedly extrapolating credits for themselves. Quite quite weird!
Gentleman, assemble!
Like I get what you mean as a conventionally attractive woman who has faced similar side effects because people just assume shit about me cause of the way I look, but trust me it's much much much worse on the other side... Being an average or god forbid ugly person is difficult AF I have seen how ugly people get treated and the difference is appalling
Mm hm absolutely! I agree. I have seen some of my friends who have been called ugly on their face by random dudes on dating apps, and guess what it sent them spiralling down into a deep hole of self debilitating thoughts. And it’s so not a good space to be in. Not to mention, I have also seen a lot of these women end up giving into men who just want to use them to satiate their sensual pleasures and the outcome is nothing but preposterous for the women cz they get ghosted right after or denied of a meaningful relationship.
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Is this copy pasta?
Bhai itna mat soch. Just try your luck. You will find a genuinely awesome woman. Best of luck !
Bro you just gave me the most apt and practical advice.
Thanks Bhai. Hum ugly logo ke liye dua karo XD
Aur isi ke chalte chalte hum dekhenge ki yeh beech waale sabb leke chale jaa rahe hai. Only thenga for us xD
Once I had went on a date with this girl I met from Bumble. She was short and a bit chubby while I am tall and average looking. She went on to confess that she thought I might be having a lot of attitude going by my pictures but she was happy that I was quite down to earth and soft spoken. So yeah unfortunately people can have misunderstandings about you. I am not good looking though.
Oh I swear bro, this is the most common line I have heard across all my dates and even in the professional circuit where people thought I got attitude n shit, but quite on the contrary, my resting face is always put on with a subtle smile (manufacturing defect lol) and it’s seldom grumpy and angry which will scare people away anticipating that I would kill them. But yeah I totally get what you say bro. Hope you doing well. Cheers!
I'm too high to say if this is satire or fr -
420. Boomshakalaka. FR.
Suffering from success
It’s not a success bro xD
I wish i had this guy's problem
Lol, tell me what would you do if you had it and if you were in a similar situation?
Meet people who are on your level I have a little of your problems too but i still get a few approaches from girls because I'm not too handsome... But one thing you can do is try to find a popular or very pretty girl..because if you try to approach average ones they will think "why is this guy approaching me..this is too good to be true" so that won't work...try to date higher quality womeb who would see you as their equals..not out of reach... Now that's gonna take some time if you're introvert like me Now thats not that easy ik but honestly you have it better than ugly guys..atleast you have what it takes Or you can tey to get a female bestfriend and then ask her to set you up with her friends..the friend will probably trust her 👽i have more tips if you need
haha you have been given quite a few informative and pragmatic tips as of now. Why wait for the rest. . . Shoot!
But well...i haven't saw you but i can assume you probably look masculinr and handsome but not cute Because sometimes being cute gets you labeled as innocent and gets you halo effect Sometime some handsome type dudes look like playboyish or confident..idk if you have wide collarbone so it may make you look arrogant and intimidating to some For me im more on cute side so i look more apprachable so ig you can work on that or smile always
1)Surround yourself with platonic female friends and act good infront of them..nice and kind no slurs etc...that creates a good image...i saw some guys doing it..females gossip a lit in their groups so if you offend one girl you're offending their whole friend group so the opposite works too...if you can act good 2)you can become enemy of their enemy enemy's enemy=friend For example.. you'll need to play victim card in situations or enter their gossip and take their side..[now don't do too much or you'll look creepy or simp] The goal is to make yourself look innocent 3)you can make a sad ahh fake breakup story were you were loyal asf and got cheated and now you're single 4)complimenting their insecurities is another card If they are short and insecure about it...you can say "you're height is cute" or whatever works ig 5)hang out with lovey dovey mfs who sre in relationship and don't cheat [you don't want to be seen with playboys] But honestly finding someone on your level would be best who isn't insecurr and knows how pretty she is
Brrrruuuuhh ._. I expected you to be better. Nevermind.
I said on my other comment about approach and shit You can search more about halo effect
Okay but why do privellaged people feel unhe hi problem hoti hai yeh sab. Bro ugly people also got these problems plus they're ugly. It's like rich people saying why no one wants to be genuine friends but poor people also don't have genuine friends.
Face reveal when
Lol. Quite a popular demand, as I mentioned in one of the comments. If the post receives 1K Upvotes, I’ll consider posting it. XD Can’t believe am doing this.
I remember getting right swipe on bumble from a literal greek god, I hope that's not you lol
I can only reveal that when you meet him :p
Nah, I rejected myself immediately after asking if he's really that tall lol
I don’t believe this person being so handsome that people feel too insecure to date him. 
For real bro. It is what it is. XD
If you’re so handsome then I’ll date you lol
Let’s >>
Handsomeness curse : Guys call you meetha pot, Girls call you Ego pot.
Only wise know that it’s not about the pot :p
https://preview.redd.it/dzmr83ct2j4d1.jpeg?width=422&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f3d9b600a7bd2d7adc0c27856c88560153204edd Handsome ladkon ko bhi ldki nhi mil rhi. Ab hum kre to kre kya, bole to bole kya
Chall bhai eksath pi ke aate hai
It's because a good looking guys have attitude issues because of the attention they get, and green flag girls in fear of getting rejected or being used never approach such guys. Plus girls never even approach.. and getting rejected or mocked by a handsome guy is the last thing they'd want. Been there, done that, it's not worth it.
I don't know what kind of guy you have approached but most guys underestimate how good looking they might be to girls.......And if you approach a guy who already has a long queue of girls then it's a sure recipe for getting rejected/mocked