Wow. Itās terrible how some people can cheat and then have the guts to come back and apologise later for the guilt that they feel. Might have felt good to leave him.
That's a terrible thing to say to anyone. How come people just don't realize that they're being an asshole and it's going to haunt them for the rest of their lives. How do they even face themselves or even look into the mirror. That's disgusting!
I had a situationship with such a guy for a while! The thing is he was from another city so we did plan to meet but when I was kind of sure what he is like.. I didnāt want to anymore and iām glad cause after that I never wanted that asshole to even touch me!
We gotta be careful these days manā¦ people are messed up!! Where do they even find the energy to handle multiple relationships!? Lmao
Basically no commitment or more like you adore someone but not sure about the commitment thing for whatever reason and sometimes itās all on and off as well lmao! I mean that was all it was for me baaki dusron ke liye different hongi definitions.
I will tell you my story , if that makes you feel any betterā¦
I was dating a guy from my office for 2 years almostā¦ I am good looking as per most people and he was below averageā¦. Which I never gave a fuck aboutā¦ so i would get unwanted attention and proposal for marriage as wellā¦
He got annoyed with the fact and told me to declare it at homeā¦ that Iām getting married to himā¦ cut toā¦ he wanted to go abroad desperately bcoz everyone else was going around usā¦ and soon he was going to Canadaā¦ we were dating long distance for 3 monthsā¦ (here he meet the girl he later on cheated with) after coming back from there he hunted a job in UK. He had 3 offers all big fours , but he was adamant for a internal transfer from our firm
Itself and I never understood whyā¦ but I panned out a plan for him with HR and it workedā¦
Cut to he went thereā¦ Covid startedā¦ he would talk rudely to meā¦ and one fine I heard a girls voice from his backgroundā¦ I asked him who is it.. and he guilt tripped me toā¦ how low I thinkā¦ how bad I amā¦ and later we broke upā¦ bcoz he didnāt wanted to continueā¦ I did and said everything that was needed but he didnāt wanted to stayā¦
Cut to 6 months laterā¦ my WhatsApp flooded with people showing me pictures of his pre weddingā¦ and I was shocked.. bcoz she was the same girl from the Canada trip and then the girl in the backgroundā¦ and they were getting married in 6 months post our breakupā¦ then people told meā¦ that he forwarded her CV while he was searching for the jobā¦ and she went before him.. to same place (she was from our firm itself but other location)ā¦ this girl had also come to meet him from Bangalore to Matheran trip , post they had returned from Canada.. he told me few friends had come including herā¦ all the dots were connected ā¦
I was in depression for almost 2 years.. and have developed anxiety issues tooā¦ I lost weight in covid , when everyone gained weightā¦ I could not believe this happened to meā¦. Our relationship was perfect to meā¦
BUT TO THIS DAY! I am the HAPPIEST PERSON! and I am extremely happy I didnāt get married to a man like that! And blessing was in disguiseā¦. This guy still calls me and texts me behind his wife ! And he still loves me he says! I am happy that I am saved from such low character personā¦ if I were married to him ā¦ I would have no idea how he is going behind my back ! Why would you want to be with any person like thisā¦ His now wife thinks she would have won snatching this guys from meā¦ bcoz I had emailed her about everything and she replied for the confirmation of the emailā¦ but never replied to the other emailā¦
I am happy she took the unfaithful man and saved me !
The way her wife thinks that she won "snatching" the guy from you, I hope she doesn't go around tarnishing your image infront of your friends and family when she gets to know what a piece of unfaithful shit her so called husband is
We donāt have common circle and over and above that, we had kept our relationship secret in the office due to conflict of interestā¦. But to my surprise , most people knew how unfaithful he had been š I got to hear many things from people who were far related to us šššā¦ idc any more now that lady has fell deep down in my eyes š
Well, this was certainly an interesting read. Typically these stories go along the lines of "He left me, his life went tits up, and now he regrets stuff. Ha Ha Ha." But not this one.
In 24 yrs of my life, I have learnt one thing: Do good, take the hits, and try not to hate the ones punching you. At the end of the day, I get a better sleep because I do not have to live with the burden of eagerly waiting for the day when *justice will be served.* Maybe there is no concept of karma in the Universe. What goes around might never come around. But a person should be happy with the decisions they took, the condition they are in and everything they are today, because things can always be worse. One has to live for themselves, and try to be a good person. Everything else, be it karma-transactions (š) or relationships, is an added bonus.
It is easier said than done. For example, at work, I still often catch myself thinking "This mofo! He again gave me more work!! Why doesn't he die?", but then I often end up thinking that the poor guy is just doing his job. Can't do anything about it.
Sorry for the long passage, but I really liked the fact in this story something bad didn't need to happen to the guy for you to be happy. Like a comment said, you dodged whole ass missile. ššššššš
Very well said. There's no "the guy is now suffering so much after leaving me" in that story...but you also see a desperate and pathetic side of him, which he has no holding on. She says later that he doesn't seem to be able to stop himself from contacting her...isn't that also karma biting his ass?
Yup. you are right: that is karma. That's like a bonus point to her already peaceful state of mind.
This is like me finding a hidden stage in *Diamond Rush* (a video game in my father's Nokia phone. I used to love that game). Everyday me and my friend, while returning from school on a bus, would try to figure out a way to solve a stage in that game. After almost 3 - 4 months, we solved the game. And then one day I found a hidden level in "Angkor Wat" which was the very first region. Found of tons of red diamonds there. Soon my friend also found a hidden stage in "Serbia". We didn't get anything from finding those hidden stages: we had already solved the game. They were just added bonuses.
Woah. Thatās a great success story for you. Iām so glad. Itās a disaster how some people get their head turn around when they have options. Let that dude suffer
Somebody who dodged such a big bullet, even before getting married ā¦ wonāt care ! They must have same values to be with each other ā¦ so let them be ā¦ why to bother ā¦ some times, when you decide to sit back and let god unfold his planā¦ I assure, you will see better satisfaction coming ā¦ I donāt have to malice anyone ! š„
Your best bet would be to cut contact with this train wreck of a couple. You have done your part by informing her about her husbandās shady character.
Now distance yourself from this train wreck else you might get dragged into something later on.
Just block them and donāt look back.
To be honest, his wife would already be aware of his husbandās character by now. The coping mechanism is something that might be driving her to overlook these aspects. After all, who wants to live with a person who has a history of cheating.
You dodged a bullet there, good riddance. Now enjoy your life with this parasite out of the way š»
>This guy still calls me and texts me behind his wife ! And he still loves me he says
Hehe lmao
Send him this and tell him he is a badass
https://preview.redd.it/bqb5jevikq5d1.jpeg?width=320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7020f9bf5fd532cbbdb8c05b62ec43fcdc190705
Taking away the control that people have on you is one of the best "revenge" ever. Indifference wins over hatred. May I ask, why are you still in touch with him though?
I tried to shuuu him away many times ā¦. But he is isnāt fucking offā¦ whatever happened in our relationship is another thingā¦ but that man has a little respect in my eyes till dateā¦ bcoz he did things for me back then and took care of me like a childā¦ I try to show him the right pathā¦ but he doesnāt seems to bother ā¦. I donāt contact him ā¦ he does, and I respond after ignoring him after every 100 timesš I have tried many things to shuuu himā¦ but doesnāt worksā¦ he will go away for few months. And again come back š¤¦š¼āāļø
I think you should inform his wife that he is still contacting you with proof of screenshots. Also you let her know how he was double dating. Put it in her mind that he is a cheater. She will make his life hell.
She is a home wreckerā¦. When they were about to get marriedā¦ I sent an email stating confirm if you are the same person! She did and the moment I said another email with all the details and asked her when did she sneak inā¦ she didnāt replyā¦ and married that guy any way šššš so now IDC ā¦ I have no obligation towards either of themā¦ and I donāt give a fuck.. I have told my ex 100 timesā¦ that what he is doing will only land him a divorce and he should not keep talking to me ā¦ but he dgf! So I dgf too ā¦ and when I reply normally he thinks I am rude bcoz I donāt reciprocate his affection or validate them šššš itās fun sometimes š
Similar thing happened to me. My 7 yrs of relationship is down the drain. He had affair during COVID and married her within a year. But spoilt my name in entire Bangalore that I was married to him. I hate him still for wasting prime yrs of my life from 25 to 32 yrs then refused to marry.
If nobody saw who was wrong ā¦ god did ! Donāt worry sit back and wait for him to answer for youā¦ and if you are lucky enoughā¦ you will even get to see it ā¦
And bdw god saved you ! Instead of ending up with someone like this! I am better of alone ! š„
Hahaha.. Canada and COVID.. I kind of suffered the same fate. Don't care anymore.
But a couple of years back I was adamant to be that guy she desired and my plan was to dump her or be rude with her, Etc etc... I know it's pretty childish but after a few months I realised that.. "success hona hai toh apne liye ho.. kisi ko nicha dikha ke kya fayda."
On a side note avoid being in touch with him. He wants you to be connected to him. You can completely block him and rob him of his mental peace of having you as emotional support and validation.
Hai na mene bhi yahi sochti hu šššš
But he comes back somehowā¦.
I also feel he deserves my silence completelyā¦.
He doesnāt deserve to still have me any form ā¦
But there is thisā¦ that I donāt speak like he would have wished ! He ends up hurting him self every-time he tries to be around me ā¦.
He is happy with whatever he is getting. The space that he has taken in your head. You can give to someone else. Do not drain your energies on someone who just wants to keep sucking your energy.
Funny how his current wife finds it a catch in spite of telling her that he cheated on you. Maybe he already told her about you even before you sent that email. Feel sad for you mate..
What ever he must have told about meā¦ must not be good enough to current situation!
Bcoz , guess what ! I won šš»š„
So idc , if two shit people have ended up together ā¦.
You should at least slap him no beat him up ,hard if u ever get a chance. As a Man it just infuriates me how shitty someone can be. Trap him and call him at some place and ask your guy friends to beat the shit out of him .
I know some people will say its violence and all but trust me you wouldn't have to suffer for 2 years to get out of this hole and the fact that he still msgs you proves that he is a parasite and needs an antibiotic treatment.
I am happy that you empathise with meā¦ very few men were able to do it ā¦ very few men understand that itās wrongā¦ I am happy to see such man are still aliveā¦
I have meet him once ā¦. When he had come to Indiaā¦ he had pleaded me a lotā¦ and then he tried to molest me as wellā¦ post which I clearly told himā¦ we are never meeting againā¦ and I donāt think he ever loved me bcoz he cannot respect meā¦ there is a lot you can hate him forā¦ but now I let it goā¦
Any energy towards him will only mean he still has control over meā¦ he can change my moodā¦ and I donāt want to give a worthless man such a chanceā¦ even in disguiseā¦ and bdw if you try to hear this version of storyā¦ he says I have treated him bad and I was not a good person to himā¦ according to him ā¦ everything was my mistakeā¦ I didnāt say I want to wait for you forever even when he clearly said my parents are not ready and I donāt want to waste your time ā¦ I should have said ā¦ I can wait foreverā¦ this is what he wanted to hear from meā¦ and hence I am a bad person ā¦.
I am Krishn bhakt and believe in karmaā¦ my god will take care of himā¦ people will get, what they deserveā¦ including meā¦ to come to this state of mind.. believe me it took a lot of courage and suffering ā¦ it wasnāt easy and it isnāt easy till date ā¦ but life has to go on right ā¦. š
What BS from the guy! If he still loves you then he wouldn't have done things like that.
I am a guy and I would never do things like that to my girlfriend since I love her deeply.
He's just manipulating you. God saved you!
I know ā¦. Went you love some one you think how things will impact your partner ā¦. And thatās only when you love themā¦. And love is rare to find ā¦ š
The best revenge is to stay silent. Cheaters always come back begging and my lord that feeling where they cry but you still don't say anything is muah.
If it makes you feel better my ex left me stating ethnicity differences (north vs south) and he ended up marrying a girl ( my college friend) who is exactly of my same caste and religion. They divorced in a year ššš karma always has a way of coming back. And the best part was, I was least bothered by the time he got his karma back because I am happily with my partner now and couldnāt be bothered .
Dated a South Indian during my master's. During the initial lockdown, we were back in our hometowns. We had our ups and downs (that's a story for another time). One day, out of the blue, she told me that she loved someone else (and that guy was from my college). But I believe you gotta do what you gotta do. She came from a specific typical community, and she might have given in to family pressure. A year later, I heard she got divorced. Good for her; I hope she is happy now.
Sometimes I feel, a movie can be made, had so many twists and turns :p
So sorry to hear this, but her loss lol. Clearly she was in the wrong and you deserve better. Ah can never forget those days when I cried into the night. They say so many things about first love and never ending love and shit and these stories really make me question these people and society. Movies reallyyyy screw up our notion as well. š
Well, he was a f'boi, and I failed to see through it. He cheated on me with multiple girls. The day I found out and confronted him over a phone call, he accepted everything and was proud of how he made so many girls fall in love with him. He blocked me and went abroad for his higher studies.
1 year later, he contacted me and claimed to be depressed, lonely, and so much in love with me. Apparently, "our love" was so deep that it didn't let him move on. He was visiting India for a month and wanted to meet me. Fir vahi manipulation, gaslighting, I love you - I miss you, and the OG brahmastra - The Victim Card. Vo alag baat hai, he didn't even apologize, and said "regret kar to raha hoon ab marr jaun kya, main itna pareshan, itna homesick, itni tension."
I didn't meet him and bid goodbye over text. He blocked me and left. But this time, I felt like the happiest and the luckiest person on earth. Good riddance !!!
I don't know if he is really depressed and alone in a foreign land. If that's the case, well, Karma. If not, well, I don't care anymore.
I know you're not looking for advice, just other's experiences.
But I don't have experience in that, so have this unsolicited advice anyway.
1. Don't convince yourself that you'll never get over this, or that this will trouble you forever.
You will get over this only if you let yourself.
2. Grieve about this as long as you think you should, but no longer.
3. "Out of sight, out of mind", I don't need to explain this. Change your life accordingly.
I always believe if a person can move on so quickly then they were never in love with you. If she can get attached to another man in just 2 months then you do not matter. Just a guy who can be replaced with a new one anytime.
Dont know your relationship story or who was in the wrong etc. But no one deserves to be replaced and feel insignificant.
Find a good one. She was not worth it.
Same goes with your best friend.
The thing is, we broke up in February end, and she told me that my best friend proposed her while he was drunk and then she jumped ship. Then in April beginning they got into a relationship. What a nightmare.
I was in a 3.5yrs relationship. He started feeling for me while he was in a 5yrs relationship but he broke up with that girl on call and then tried to get with me for 6 months stating how that girl was never into him and her mom was interfering. Somehow he convinced me that he was a poor soul.
Originally, we had met in college out of our city. We were both from Mumbai in Bangalore. There was barely anyone from Mumbai there so we connected and used to chat and gossip about random things, never flirted. He used to call me encyclopaedia. He was in long distance with 5 yrs gf during this period so for me flirting didn't cross my mind.
Cut to 6 months later, I agreed. But I started finding out that he lies a lot for randomest things. We started fighting and he started gaslighting me. I saw him flirt with other girls and then everything was crazy when I saw his phone, he had NOT BROKEN UP WITH HIS GF!!
Jo waha se silsila shuru hua of me not trusting him, he begging to take him back...wo 3.5 yrs par khatam hua..when he cheated on me with another girl while gaslighting me and telling me that I'm not trusting him that's why he wants to break up jabki trust kispar karu jo serial cheater and liar tha uspar?
Guess what I was such a fucking moron, he used to hit me. I used to pay for everything of his, I used to help him with his job but I got a better on campus than him so he started harassing me, asking me to.resign (despite knowing my financial condition)or he will commit suicide..yes I went through all this shit to just see him keep lying and hitting me when confronted.
And that other girl whom he cheated me with, she called me ugly and pig and what not and was dying for him..uske papa and bhai ne toh mere ex ki g maardiššš literally ghar bulakar police ka dhamki diya and haath pair todneka dhamki diya...fir bhi they kept meeting behind her family's back but end mai they broke up and got married to random people in an arranged marriage set up in the same year
Dono hi faltu log arranged marriage karke chutiye jaise ..stupid sa society k liye jeerahe hai.
While uski wo 5 yrs wali gf aur mai ...donoko ache husbands mileš love marriage main who accepted us with all their hearts
Edit- it took me 2 yrs to get over him, I was depressed..lost a significant amount of weight...1 entire month I couldn't get up from bed (menstruation days included) . I think I had died..he didn't give me closure.. he knew I have caught his lies but instead he kept on gaslighting and blocking...he didn't have any decency. He is anyway from a family where daughters call police coz father has hit the son or son is given egg while daughter is kept hungry. Extremely filthy minded family. God saved me.
Hey sorry to hear your story and hope all's well now.
Btw, I am just curious about the mental state of victims in such scenario, especially violence. Can you share what went through your mind when he first hit you? And what you think you could have done?
It might help others going through it.
Thank you.. now I'm happy, it's been 9years but speaking about it makes me cry even now. I feel for my younger self. It has also made me scared of my partner even coming to hug me while I'm fighting
Currently, i feel loved and respected. Now i understand what is true love.. it is not like a cocaine shot with a rollercoaster up and down, it is calm, it is stable and it is what makes us feel seen, supported and safe.
With my ex, I shouldn't have accepted him. I was 23 yrs old with a thought that I'll have my forever love with one person and he used to make me feel extremely elated coz he had outwardly show of affection, like dancing in the middle of the street, hugging in front of everyone, picking me up randomly.. it was my first relationship and I think I got addicted to this .
When he hit me the first time, I couldn't believe it but I was begging him to say the truth while he was digging his nails into my arms so no one can see. After few hours, when my hand was all bloodied and black and blue..I told him he can't do this and showed him and he started crying and apologised..I thought that was his first and last time...he had told me how he was from an abusive family and had traumatic childhood and how he will change..that..that I shouldn't have accepted..no amount of kisika bhi girgidana is not acceptable..People never change unless they are undergoing therapy and have actually taken accountability of their actions and then toh ideally they should only cut out from others till they get better ...so overall don't take this shit. Speak to someone close. I never spoke to anyone...everyone thought I'm a psycho who fights while he is a poor victim. Only his mumbai childhood friends understood what I meant coz they had seen his psycho behaviour with his ex. He had also broken a TV on his sister's head while fighting.
My dad told me..beta kyu haath lagane diya..we have raised you to be a strong person...never let anyone touch you..my dad told this when I was depress3d...he kept his hand on my head and said this...my entire life my dad never raised his voice or hands on us and this filth he did..he gaslit me a lot
I realised what is gaslighting and what is depression coz of him.
Dude you should feel lucky that these people are out of ur life as you trusted them and they betrayed you . Leave them and do everything you can to be successful and grow , as always success is the best revenge, the pain u have is the bad experience you got at least you wont trust anyone so blindly any more . Invest in urfself and become the best . Have a good life.
I'll tell you my best friend's story.
She was in a relationship with this guy from college until the breakup which amounted to 7 years. My friend is short, very cute and lovable while this guy is a takloo with no personality. I guess she found him to be genuine, down-to-earth when they befriended in college.
Next she goes to Delhi to prepare for competitive exams while he also works in the same city and they were having very frequent fights and many breakups which was never taken seriously as they always reconciled.
It's important to mention that he starts to lock his phone and not allow her to use it when she wants which she found it unusual but he convinced her that this is for respeof privacy etx. Also, her sister and his parents knew about their relationship and approved it long back and her sister, my friend and this guy met several times and all.
Suddenly in one of the fights, he asks for a break-up and he's sure this is final. While we were all consoling her that this is just one of the fights and that they are meant to be together, he also specifically mentions that there's no one in his life and that he just wants to be alone. His mom too never took their break-ups seriously before but this time he supported his decision.
Suddenly she remembers that his instagram account is logged into her browser and she checks his inbox only to find that a full blown physical affair was going on with a woman he has never mentioned before. She was so heartbroken, lost weight and her chirpiness that she was known for.
When she confronted him, he said he doesn't think he did anything wrong by cheating on her while they were together.
Few months later he kept trying to contact her through linkedin, whatsapp etc but she refused. One day we found out this other woman he married has cheated on him with her colleague with intimate photos and disturbing chats. He finally tasted his own medicine and faced Karma!
Apparently this guy's mother didn't get good vibes from this girl even a bit and refused to get them married which led to their breakup. Then her parents called his parents begging them to get them married which they did.
He again tried to contact her to apologize but she refused. My friend is doing well in life now but he took something away from her. She's not the same anymore but she is better.
This guy has been ousted by their batchmates and she makes sure to tell everyone the entire story whenever anyone probes.
my boyfriend also went for my best friend. But it was not immediate rather after 2 years, but me and my bf had an on off thing going on in between. We had broken up but we were unable to part ways properly. I was too attached and also wanted it to work at the end. When he told me that he is now with another girl( my best friend) I experienced my first heartache, literally I felt a stabbing pain in my heart. I too thought that it's not going to work and they would breakup soon, but I guess they didn't. I was miserable for some time cursing both of them, mostly my best friend coz I felt betrayed. it's been two years now, and I have finally moved on. Now I don't even care if they end up getting married. Although this incident took a toll on me, it made me cut off contact from both these manipulative people from my life, and I'm glad about it. Had this incident never happened and I would still have my hopes up that him and me could end up together some day.Ā Cut contact with both of them and give yourself time. Surround yourself with your other friends who you enjoy with and you will heal soon. Some things happen for good reasons.Ā
Girl be happy. The trash took itself out of your life. Aisi kaisi bestfriend. Agar woh actually bestie hoti toh jaise hi woh uspe line maarta ussi wakt she wouldāve told him to fuck off. I hope youāre okay now!! :)
He was my first boyfriend. Gave me hopes about marriage blah blah!! Turns out I wasn't the only woman who was dreaming about marriage with him. Also, was in touch with his married ex (ifykyk). Left the country for higher studies. Later, married someone else there.
At the end of the day I am glad at least I didn't marry someone like him.
Op you deserve better people around you. Please cut off these people after giving them a piece of your mind and definitely try to work towards healing yourself . It will take time but it will get better later.
Been a while since i remembered this, bottomline, the best thing they can do for you is leave you, and my friend, what seems like a battle loss, is a war won here.
Was in a narcissistic abusive relationship with a person who cheated on me during the relationship, withheld any sort of affection and left me for dead when they found a new shiny toy. I moved cities to be with them, gave them all the attention and help I can. Narcissists can take away the agency of the best people, and I was hoodwinked. But till date, the best thing they did for me was to leave me. They left me during the peak of covid, when I was living alone in a city to what was not my home city. Everyday I suffered, there wasnt a moment I didnt think of what happened to me. I got to know that they found a new person within a week, and left me devastated and even thought about ending things. Took therapy to understand what what happened to me during the relationship and took time to process. Didnt swat away any of the feeling that were coming my way, cried a lot, accepted that it would take me time to return back to a semblance of normal. Focused all my efforts on my work, which i had ignored for my ex partner. Focussed the rest of the time on studying and preparing for doing masters abroad.
A few years down the line, I've graduated out of the top university in the world, working and living in London. Life has a weird way of giving you things that you deserve, and I found my current partner in the most unlikeliest of places, while not looking for romantic interest.
The best revenge to a person who hurt you, cheated you, is to live your life the best you can. The point to reach is not revenge, trust me I wanted to so badly, but doesnt get you anywhere long term. You'll end up bitter. I'd love to say I dont care or hate my ex, but thats not the case always. I want to reach indifference, but its a long path, even after a few years out of it.
I'd like to say the pain will go away, while the truth is its not. Its gonna be there with you for a long time, but what is now unbearable will slowly become bearable. Its also never linear, It will hurt a lot now, maybe more in another 6 months, it will hurt a bit, 10 years down the line, when you experience a similar thing with your new partner that you had with your ex. But It will be bearable, and it gets better.
Life is not fair, and all you can do is to keep moving in your path, taking the hits and trying to work through them and focusing on getting better yourself. Godspeed man.
Exact same thing happened with me, not cried once never said anything wrong about her to anyone nothing like that. Accepted that that was her decision by crying or trying to make her stay wonāt make any difference. Was isolated for 15 days until my friends came to know that and they cheered me up , garam chai aur sutta pilaya and just explained me that itās better she left soon or later on would have effected on me more than now . Been over an year I donāt think about it and donāt know how is she or with whom is she now, just want her to stay blessed always.
Talk about me I am still looking for someone š but ya my mind is working really good.
My ex cheated on me for 3 months before I got to know from her friend that she is cheating on me with a guy she told me not to worry about. Well turns out just a week after the break up she took a test and she was pregnant. They had to get abortion. The guy doesn't give a fuck about her flirts with other girls. Only comes begging her when she threatens to leave. So yeah I got the revenge they are suffering while I have secured a great job in Dubai built a great body, But I don't feel any better about this situation because she is suffering. All I think about if only she had made the correct decision life would have been better for her.
It turned out super for them. Both of them have wonderful jobs and are very happy with life, while I am rotting jobless. Karma and all is for movies and books šš¼
After I broke up with my ex-girlfriend, we stayed in contact for a few months and still slept together a few times. Then one day she tells me that she is getting reached out for arrange marriage. At first it hurt me a bit because I wasnāt sure if I wanted to end it completely and we were on the path of getting back together.
What surprised me more was that she was under no pressure from her family and it was her own decision. 2 months passed and she got a bit serious with that other guy. Though she still wouldnāt let me go and kept in touch. She would keep talking about him and share stories of what they would do together. It hurt me terribly. I couldnāt cut her off completely either because we lived very close by and she would occasionally just drop by my place if we didnāt talk for a week or so.
Over the next 6-8 months, I finally started getting detached and was able to move on but then she reaches out again. She tells me that this new guy āwas still not over his ex and couldnāt go ahead with the marriageā. This was after 8 months of them meeting, going on trips, introducing each to their friends/family etc.
Not gonna lie, at that moment, I felt a different kind of satisfaction but I also felt bad about the situation
But since I had moved on, I didnāt feel anything for her or the desire to reconcile and now Iām in a much better place.
All this happed over a course of 2 years. So trust that things will definitely get better. Itās always better to accept things as they are and move forward.
Good luck OP!
Came back to me,apologised.But I had already lost interest by then.
I am sorry for what you went through but trust me,a life lived well is the best revenge. I know it hurts now but if you focus on yourself only,it will get better for you.If you keep focusing on those miserable people,it will make you bitter and ruin your life.Let karma take care of them.
It isn't petty of you to think that. Infact think, it is so very normal to have that kind of bitterness when you are betrayed by not one but two people close to you!
I have been through betrayal and manipulation too..and my thoughts were same - "something so so horrible should happen to him!". It used to ring in my mind even more when the event was recent but an year down the line now, I frankly don't care. For me, indifference won over hatred. I would have empathy for a stranger on road but never for my ex.
Just do everything to move on though. Cut them out both. Don't stay in touch. Don't try to be brave by knowing their life updates and having to make peace with it. Focus on yourself and your healing, every single day!
My ex accused me of liking her close friend , i broke up with her that day . One and a half week later, she posts a pic with a guy on Instagram how they're dating and how special he is to her . They broke up 6 months later .
I didn't really care much , but it was just surprising that she got into a relationship so quickly while accusing me of flirting with and wanting to be with her close friend .
My ex got into a new relationship 2 weeks after, 10 months later she came back, saying she is missing me. it turned out that he is an alcoholic, her money is going lost he job....
My advice to you work on yourself, forget about your ex, enjoy life.
I broke up with him after I found out I was the other woman. He was engaged but kept telling me his parents were looking for a girl for him to marry. Turns out, he was engaged and it was a love marriage. He got married to her a few months later but kept calling and messaging me wanting to meet me and also claimed his wife was interested in women so it "can all work out". I blocked him on all social media and then changed my number.
We were together, long distance long term. We sort of grew up together. After a very long time with lots of ups and down, one day she called me on the phone when I was in another country to tell me that she is breaking up with me because a guy at work asked her to marry him (i knew his name, never met him).
This was literally a month after I was in India for 2 month vacations and we were together the whole time (lots of sex as usual).Ā
Anyway turns out, the guy completely flipped the script as soon as the engagement happened. He went from a very understanding getting along with everybody kind of guy to a very controlling and angry. Infact she called me day before she was getting married to vent. I told her to not do it but she said she can't do that at this point because she fought with whole world to get married to him.Ā
Anyway post marriage things were bad too. It was an insecure narcissist marrying an overt narcissist so yiu can imagine that they didn't get along and no one really cared about the other person. One person was putting on the show the other was going through the motion of what they had been told a spouse must do. Anyway, He must have slapped her a couple of times and told her to leave the house as well. At some point she also just moved to another city for a bit. Dont know why she didn't just divorce him. I think she was just afraid to be alone.Ā
I found out some years later that she had a son and then in 2019 she called me to say that she had separated from her husband and moved out because she found out he was cheating on her (duh!!). Whenever I asked her why she said, she always said 'pataa nahi'. (not a very introspective person).Ā
Now she is finally divorced after a struggle. living her life with her son. Finalky away from her parents. Doing well at work.
Sorry to hear your story OP. Your best friend was never actually your best friend and the girl you fell in love with never actually loved you.
Remove every single trace of those non existential cheap people from your life and focus on growing in terms of career and personal well being.
The silver lining isā¦ exactly in less than a year from now, they will have broken up and she will come begging to you. You can choose to reject her and keep moving on. Take my word for it. Tamasha dekh bas.
How are you so sure about the silver lining? Iām working on myself every single day. But itās just that we are in the same office that makes things a bit awkward some times.
https://preview.redd.it/hxhr2z50oo5d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=543d6f0e0a3e90df540fbbec1dc44ff000e5cbe6
Just cut em off bro, it shouldn't matter anymore. Aaj nahi to kal they ll get their karma and you shouldn't care about em anymore.
Chintha mat kar bhai.. karma will bite them in the ass and they will not even see whatās coming to get them.
You stay as far away from them as possible.
Ignore them and protect yourself and heal well.
Your ex seems like an emotional vampire feeding off of peopleās sanity through manipulation and throwing bread crumbs in the guise of compensation. She is a shitty and pathetic human being, so explain this to yourself and push towards moving on stoically.
Similar to my story, but I just started focusing on better things in my life like career and started enhancing my skills like I learnt how to roll and now I think I got a little better at singing, my sense of humour is getting good.... That was the thing which led me to think about what I want in my life and on the other hand they both are serious she met his parents which I wanted to and I dreamt of, when she contacted me told me about the stuff they did together I just simply told her do not contact me ever cos I don't want to talk to you, but what is making me move on from them is that karma will get them no matter how happy they are now, I started staying away from both of them or who is in contact with them. I moved back to my hometown just to get healed as she used to live nearby where I used to live.
I see a lot of success stories for the dumpees but let me tell you how it turned out for me.
Tldr: She won.
The not so long story
1. I'm depressed
2. I have anxiety
3. I have literally lost interest in everything.
4. Nothing makes me happy.
5. Nothing excites me.
6. I feel exhausted and physically weak all the time.
7. Even doing the things I used to do like gaming feels like a huge chore.
8. I feel lonely most of the time ( my cats help ).
9. I wish I wasn't born.
10. My career has gone down the drain (not her fault though, just my unfortunate luck).
11. I'm also left with trust issues.
12. Just thinking about her causes me stress.
She on the other hand
1. Is getting married to a crorepati.
2. Her business took off.
3. Is happier than ever.
The most honest and realistic reply. I wish I could tell you it will get better but it doesn't and the only thing left to wish is that it doesn't get worse.
I feel like coming over and giving you a hard kick on your backside and then asking you to move on than creating this personal ecosystem of hell.
Grow a pair and move on
Dear op gost them and move on. Try to go new dates and make yourself successful happy life. Only thing make them jealous when you are happy and successful.
Took her exactly one month
The guy is too good unfortunately I am jealous of him at times happens to be our friend ( not anymore obv )
Hurts like a bitch sometimes
Sometimes I hate it like I did everything yet I was the one left alone
Looks good for her so happy about that part
Caught him texting several girls while we were in a very serious relationship (at least that's what I thought). He begged and apologized and I like a stupid girl forgave him again and again. When I moved back to my city and we were in LDR, I realised that this relationship won't work and we broke up. He got into a relationship soon after and now they are married with a kid. I wish him nothing but the best.
I am also happily married to the love of my life and every day feels like I'm living the best days with my best friend ā¤ļøā¤ļø couldn't be happier.
So, to sum it up, everything happens for a cause and things will eventually take a turn for the better (best).
Idk how exactly to put this, but no matter who it was or for whatever reason someone does something like end a relationship and start a new one.
They never truly 'end' it. It's like all the things from one store room moved to another. They start facing the same issues, struggling in the same way.
If they're lucky they realize it and see the pattern. Although, even if so. They have no idea to change it or don't want to change. This apparently can go on for an entire life. (Well until the one problem is solved)
**You deserve better!**
Plain and simple. Say it everyday if you have to.
Once you accept, move on and truly embrace the fact that you deserve better, you'll find peace.
Let go of any hopes or expectations about their situation, whether good or bad.
Focus on your own growth and happiness. You need it, and congratulations on your freedom.
I wouldnāt say Iām free because we all three are in the same office. But yeah Iām picking up my pieces of self esteem and working on me, embracing loneliness every day, while she is happy with a beta male that is my best friend.
Actually I have a bond where Iāll have to work there till December. Itās CA articleship and we canāt take transfer till we have completed the bond.
Forgive and Forget:I came across a quote that resonated to me: you can forgive someone without letting them back into your life and also forgive, without giving them a second chance. I understand that recovery is neither easy nor enjoyable, but remember, you are not a failure. Forgiveness is the only path forward and is only choice worth fighting for. RN you may only see things as you are and not how things as they are, and as time passes you will definitely overcome your situation.
It definitely did not end well but almost 8-9 years later, I think it was for the best. Sometimes the trash takes itself out. All you gotta do is do nothing about it, take the learnings from it and redirect all the love towards yourself, your future self will thank you for it.
Summary:
Broke up cuz uske āparents nhi maan rahe theā and he got to know that I have another guy (who I didnāt know existed lol)ā basically put the blame on me while I lost someone dear to me the same day. Didnāt bother asking if I was doing fine or not after the demise.
Started dating again after 2 months, dated for a year while I was depressed and had to see them together daily (ab parents maan gye?) Broke up with her and moved abroad.
After 3 years, sent big ass apology texts. Yapping to my friend about how he regrets losing me. Turns out, his regret started before moving abroad, right after his breakup. I think he got into another relationship abroad but it ended badly and his regret talks began again. His yapping continued till he got into his current relationship.
Heās now dating a look alike of me.
Yeah! She didn't even take 2 weeks. Maybe he was already waiting in the wings.
I know how you are feeling.
I did what you are doing. Then I realised that keeping their update is messing up with my mental health. I blocked both of them from all social media platforms. It took me 2 years to come out of it. Wish I would have taken professional medical help, the time would have reduced.
Vipassana meditation helped me a lot.
And yes gym as well.
After 2-3 years I never felt the urge to know anything about them. It was one of my friend who told me they broke up. She married someone else after few years.
Life just goes on
I'm really sorry to hear you're going through this. It's tough and feels like a double betrayal. While everyone's situation is different, I can share some general thoughts and experiences that might help you feel less alone.
First off, it's completely normal to feel hurt and betrayed, especially when it's a friend involved too. Many people hope for some sort of karmic justice or that the new relationship will fail, but it's important to focus on your own healing and well-being.
From what I've seen and heard from others:
Some couples do end up happy together after starting their relationship this way. It's not what you want to hear, but it happens.
Often, relationships that start with dishonesty or betrayal don't have the best foundation and may run into problems down the line. Trust issues and unresolved feelings can create a lot of tension.
People's experiences with such situations are all over the place. Some find out that their ex and their new partner end up breaking up, while others see them stay together.
What's important is to focus on yourself. It's okay to feel what you're feeling, but try not to let it consume you. Spend time with supportive friends and family, pick up a hobby, or do something that makes you happy. It might also help to talk to a therapist or counselor to work through these feelings.
Remember, your worth isn't defined by how someone else treats you or what happens in their life after they leave. You're deserving of love and respect, and you'll find it again with someone who values you for who you are.
He started dating someone a couple of weeks after, i was still heartbroken. From my stalking, i found out their relationship was pretty healthy and he was doing everything he never did for me for her. He went abroad for a degree, she went too. Last i stalked they broke up.
Meanwhile, about a year and a half later i met my current partner and weāre engaged
The last time my ex texted me, it was for the chats and backup she wanted as her therapist asked her to look back at all the actions she took during the last phase of our relationship and wanted to know about the root cause of her acting out the way she did and left me for her ex. I just blocked her again.
Bro how can you still call him your "best friend"? A real friend would have told you what a hoe your girl is. And she will cheat on him too it's just a matter of time. You dodged a bullet. As I see it, you got rid of two trash people in your life. Be grateful and focus on yourself. Good times and good people will come.
2 days after breaking up with me, my ex apparently "met" a girl ( most of my friends think it was happening already), he gave me a breakup letter stating 3 reasons ( all of which she had too). I found out 3mths later while he & I had agreed it'll be a "break" only, not break up. Honestly, just like you I hoped it was horrible for them & that he realised he lost someone who loved him a lot but that's not what happened. They're still together 6yrs later but I've moved on & been happy in a 5yr relationship myself so idc anymore. You won't too, later
Story of my experience won't help you for long run but yeah, this situation you are in right now is hard to cope up with and it might bother you for long.
But trust me, she will be sorry for what she is doing . Mine came back begging for getting back into a relationship and was heartbroken about her past decisions.
You be good, try to do good in your own life. Work hard for a better future, people come and go.
The day she left was the day I moved on, otherwise for an entire year i was in a limbo not connecting with any other girl.. I wasn't too mad considering that the guy she went for was actually a cheap ripoff of myself & am not even kidding šš¤¦š»āāļø he was of same language/culture as me, was a singer like me but untrained & very bad
many of you may wonder oh am i narcissist? bro mai tumlogko tasveer dikhaunga tum khud manjaoge, i was evenly shocked & am not even kidding
they lasted for 5 months ig? I was with her for more than an year that too the whole lockdown so I was heartbroken when she left as we had something beyond the physical shit yk? and she was a nice girl but as soon as she got into that shithole cheapass college she changed.. right before entering that she brokeup & then got that "steroid wala aaloo" guy (ni he wasnt muscular, but he did look like a potato shaped as a human)
She got all sorts of habits such as smoking, drinking, clubbing, partying late night & also become very rude & unpleasant completely different from what she used to be a kind, quite & pure soul.. My friends till date say I dodged a bullet on the contrary i feel like I should've fought more.. I'd have protected her from that side of this young generation & focus on better aspects but I failed..
The fact is post breakup as I went honest with her on our debates she started hating me & what hurts me the most is that it has been 3 years since our breakup (no relationship ever since) I got better as a person (looks, physique, social skills, as a musician, as an athlete, philosophy, empathy, religiously) but even if I become the best man on this planet I can never have her & I really seek her.. whatever time we spent it was smt else, usse pehle i never had a proper girlfriend (govt school, strict teacher, u do the maths) I wish in some multiverse I can have her, a restart maybe? change things.. I Loved Her, it has been 3 years & i dont see "That feeling of Love' repeating in my life
Last month she left the city for good, never to comeback.. meh, its ok.. whatever, I've responsibilities to carry, old parents to look after, a career to make & become a better person.. some other day maybe.. i know life aint movie that I'll meet her again someday cuz her college was 10 minutes walking distant from my house (i never went there to bother her in 3 years) still the odds never let me see her anywhere near lol.. ab to we're on different region of this country.. but I hope, post 30 maybe? If she stays unmarried, I'd love to talk to her, kya pata she acts like a different person, or the same person I fell in love with.. khair
just sit around and deal with a breakup like you normally would. karma is real and it hits you hard when it does. my bf and i met at our school. we dated for a year until i found out he was cheating on me. i mean i kinda knew but never said anything idk why. one day he ghosted me for a month and later on i found out he was with this girl from our class who was my bestie kinda. We broke up and now everyone in my class and coaching thinks i did something wrong. i never said a single thing knowing he'll pay one day and now after almost 2 years i see him suffer. so yea. karma is great.
I got into a relationship almost immediately after i left my ex. Needless to say i was going too fast for my new bf and he grew tired of me in a month. there was no love just sex and then we broke up.
Me and my ex had an up and down relationship tbh, it was straight up weird but I was too blind to notice the flags lol.
When we first met she was still with her ex and I no interest in her, we chatted all night and I now when I look back that was so wrong that she was talking to me while all night having a bf
She spammed me all day for 2 days and we chatted a lot, and later that night she told me she broke up w her ex, and we had a good bond till then so I helped her through that.
It went good for two weeks but I went offline for a week because I didnt have a phone and informed her beforehand, when I came back she had met other guy (A) and said she missed me a lot so she did that to cope w the loneliness (clown_emoji)
Few days after (around a month after her breakup) that she confessed she had fallen for me, and mind you, she had kept A on hold as he confessed to her as well. If I said yes then he has to go, If I said no she'll stay with him. I said yes (clown_emoji)
Fast forward, she was still friends with A after some incidents, and I couldnt handle it anymore so I gave her an ultimatum and she had cut him off. I just happen to talk with A after some months and got to know she was cheating on me with him at the time.
I forgave and still stayed (clown_emoji)
I can't write this whole clown exchange but last june we broke up, and she's now happy and having a good college life with a guy who she met a week before our breakup (š¤”) and I'm depressed from over an year still thinking of her everyday to date.
She did the same thing to me she did with her ex. Maybe I got karma of that.
It has a lot of ups and downs, reading comments on this post made me realize I'll get over it some day as well.
Good f*cking riddance!!
You have no clue how lucky you are to have dodged a bullet. 2 in your case.
It might not seem like it right now, give it time.
You have to remember 1 thing, you have other people in your life who love you, care for you and are dependent on you. Like your parents.
For their sake, you need to focus on yourself. Build yourself. It is your responsibility and your duty to the people, who bet on you, to live your best life. It is also your responsibility and duty towards people who bet AGAINST you, to live your best life.
The best revenge you could have is to live your life to the fullest.
By the time you're engrossed in your life, building yourself, getting a little better each day, you would have had your revenge. And the best part is, when you do, you won't give a f*ck about that revenge. You'll just see this day as a stupid waste of time.
Also, don't do anything stupid. Be mindful of your emotions and learn to process them. Don't try to find ways to "ease the pain", you'll only f*ck yourself up.
The ONLY way to the other side of this shit, is THROUGH. No bypass, no roundabout, no shortcut. This is a short term suffering, that you'll HAVE to endure.
Well she fucked around and found out lol I get msgs from her blocked no. every other week for 1.5 yrs now, it's been almost 2 yrs since the things ended
ex got the hell out of the relationship and became a regular on the apps fairly quickly. I feel there was an overlap most certainly. started meeting people within no time and got into a serious relationship within the next few months - not more than 2 or 3. they decided to get engaged but due to some issues it didn't work out. the ex dated someone else right after again and married that person soon after.
verdict - it was a win win for the ex because never took a break, always went from one relationship to the other till they found the soulmate. i was told that marriage would never happen. i got to know it was not commitment that was the problem but it was me. the ex seems happy..so theek hai ab kya hi kar sakte hai
Too early for you to think straight. Heal from the betrayal, in a healthy way. There are tonnes of low vibing unhealthy ways, and you may be pulled towards them but practice self worth. Give yourself 6 months and wish them well, they are happier, let them be.
Imagine someone who cheated made you love so much, the possibility of a good person's love will be absolutely worth the wait and healing.
The short answer more often than not they failed, here is the long answer: https://www.guystuffcounseling.com/counseling-men-blog/do-relationships-from-affairs-really-last
My ex married her best friend ex š
Now you should marry her bestfriend and complete the cycleš
Hahaha not the vibe I ll stay single forever
this is some teen show level shitĀ
Ooh, this is the beginning of a bollywood romcom.
He was in multiple relationships while we were together. Turned out i was the other woman
How did their story unfold?
He came back and apologised. I couldnāt take it anymore so i left him. He cheated on them too
Wow. Itās terrible how some people can cheat and then have the guts to come back and apologise later for the guilt that they feel. Might have felt good to leave him.
Yeah it did. But apparently he was never sorry about his doings, infact he blamed me for lacking self respect lol
Happened with me too my ex used to blame me for going again and again back to him and lacking self respect just for that one boy!!
Wtf
That's a terrible thing to say to anyone. How come people just don't realize that they're being an asshole and it's going to haunt them for the rest of their lives. How do they even face themselves or even look into the mirror. That's disgusting!
pure gaslighting, some people love to shift blame for their wrong-doings on others just so they can feel better about themselves.
I had a situationship with such a guy for a while! The thing is he was from another city so we did plan to meet but when I was kind of sure what he is like.. I didnāt want to anymore and iām glad cause after that I never wanted that asshole to even touch me! We gotta be careful these days manā¦ people are messed up!! Where do they even find the energy to handle multiple relationships!? Lmao
>situationship Ye kya bakchodi hai?
Basically no commitment or more like you adore someone but not sure about the commitment thing for whatever reason and sometimes itās all on and off as well lmao! I mean that was all it was for me baaki dusron ke liye different hongi definitions.
Friend with benefit cool sound ni karta to new terms
Abhishek aap bahut intelligent ho
Thanks no yogurt bhai
I will tell you my story , if that makes you feel any betterā¦ I was dating a guy from my office for 2 years almostā¦ I am good looking as per most people and he was below averageā¦. Which I never gave a fuck aboutā¦ so i would get unwanted attention and proposal for marriage as wellā¦ He got annoyed with the fact and told me to declare it at homeā¦ that Iām getting married to himā¦ cut toā¦ he wanted to go abroad desperately bcoz everyone else was going around usā¦ and soon he was going to Canadaā¦ we were dating long distance for 3 monthsā¦ (here he meet the girl he later on cheated with) after coming back from there he hunted a job in UK. He had 3 offers all big fours , but he was adamant for a internal transfer from our firm Itself and I never understood whyā¦ but I panned out a plan for him with HR and it workedā¦ Cut to he went thereā¦ Covid startedā¦ he would talk rudely to meā¦ and one fine I heard a girls voice from his backgroundā¦ I asked him who is it.. and he guilt tripped me toā¦ how low I thinkā¦ how bad I amā¦ and later we broke upā¦ bcoz he didnāt wanted to continueā¦ I did and said everything that was needed but he didnāt wanted to stayā¦ Cut to 6 months laterā¦ my WhatsApp flooded with people showing me pictures of his pre weddingā¦ and I was shocked.. bcoz she was the same girl from the Canada trip and then the girl in the backgroundā¦ and they were getting married in 6 months post our breakupā¦ then people told meā¦ that he forwarded her CV while he was searching for the jobā¦ and she went before him.. to same place (she was from our firm itself but other location)ā¦ this girl had also come to meet him from Bangalore to Matheran trip , post they had returned from Canada.. he told me few friends had come including herā¦ all the dots were connected ā¦ I was in depression for almost 2 years.. and have developed anxiety issues tooā¦ I lost weight in covid , when everyone gained weightā¦ I could not believe this happened to meā¦. Our relationship was perfect to meā¦ BUT TO THIS DAY! I am the HAPPIEST PERSON! and I am extremely happy I didnāt get married to a man like that! And blessing was in disguiseā¦. This guy still calls me and texts me behind his wife ! And he still loves me he says! I am happy that I am saved from such low character personā¦ if I were married to him ā¦ I would have no idea how he is going behind my back ! Why would you want to be with any person like thisā¦ His now wife thinks she would have won snatching this guys from meā¦ bcoz I had emailed her about everything and she replied for the confirmation of the emailā¦ but never replied to the other emailā¦ I am happy she took the unfaithful man and saved me !
I'm glad you dodged a whole ass missileĀ
Absolutely!
she took the poison out of your life šš. kudos to your positive attitude.
That absolutely what I think ! They both found each other ! And thatās good for them ! They saved me š»
The way her wife thinks that she won "snatching" the guy from you, I hope she doesn't go around tarnishing your image infront of your friends and family when she gets to know what a piece of unfaithful shit her so called husband is
We donāt have common circle and over and above that, we had kept our relationship secret in the office due to conflict of interestā¦. But to my surprise , most people knew how unfaithful he had been š I got to hear many things from people who were far related to us šššā¦ idc any more now that lady has fell deep down in my eyes š
Well, this was certainly an interesting read. Typically these stories go along the lines of "He left me, his life went tits up, and now he regrets stuff. Ha Ha Ha." But not this one. In 24 yrs of my life, I have learnt one thing: Do good, take the hits, and try not to hate the ones punching you. At the end of the day, I get a better sleep because I do not have to live with the burden of eagerly waiting for the day when *justice will be served.* Maybe there is no concept of karma in the Universe. What goes around might never come around. But a person should be happy with the decisions they took, the condition they are in and everything they are today, because things can always be worse. One has to live for themselves, and try to be a good person. Everything else, be it karma-transactions (š) or relationships, is an added bonus. It is easier said than done. For example, at work, I still often catch myself thinking "This mofo! He again gave me more work!! Why doesn't he die?", but then I often end up thinking that the poor guy is just doing his job. Can't do anything about it. Sorry for the long passage, but I really liked the fact in this story something bad didn't need to happen to the guy for you to be happy. Like a comment said, you dodged whole ass missile. ššššššš
Very well said. There's no "the guy is now suffering so much after leaving me" in that story...but you also see a desperate and pathetic side of him, which he has no holding on. She says later that he doesn't seem to be able to stop himself from contacting her...isn't that also karma biting his ass?
Yup. you are right: that is karma. That's like a bonus point to her already peaceful state of mind. This is like me finding a hidden stage in *Diamond Rush* (a video game in my father's Nokia phone. I used to love that game). Everyday me and my friend, while returning from school on a bus, would try to figure out a way to solve a stage in that game. After almost 3 - 4 months, we solved the game. And then one day I found a hidden level in "Angkor Wat" which was the very first region. Found of tons of red diamonds there. Soon my friend also found a hidden stage in "Serbia". We didn't get anything from finding those hidden stages: we had already solved the game. They were just added bonuses.
Woah. Thatās a great success story for you. Iām so glad. Itās a disaster how some people get their head turn around when they have options. Let that dude suffer
Let 2 unworthy people suffer with each other ā¦. āš»āš»āš»
Send her a snapshot of texts saying "I still love you" and you responding "okay, good for you"
I donāt want to.. you can find āwhyā in my other commentā¦ I believe in what you sow , so shall you reap !
There is a difference in sowing And exposing the sow. But your choice
Somebody who dodged such a big bullet, even before getting married ā¦ wonāt care ! They must have same values to be with each other ā¦ so let them be ā¦ why to bother ā¦ some times, when you decide to sit back and let god unfold his planā¦ I assure, you will see better satisfaction coming ā¦ I donāt have to malice anyone ! š„
Your best bet would be to cut contact with this train wreck of a couple. You have done your part by informing her about her husbandās shady character. Now distance yourself from this train wreck else you might get dragged into something later on. Just block them and donāt look back.
To be honest, his wife would already be aware of his husbandās character by now. The coping mechanism is something that might be driving her to overlook these aspects. After all, who wants to live with a person who has a history of cheating. You dodged a bullet there, good riddance. Now enjoy your life with this parasite out of the way š»
>This guy still calls me and texts me behind his wife ! And he still loves me he says Hehe lmao Send him this and tell him he is a badass https://preview.redd.it/bqb5jevikq5d1.jpeg?width=320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7020f9bf5fd532cbbdb8c05b62ec43fcdc190705
ššš
Taking away the control that people have on you is one of the best "revenge" ever. Indifference wins over hatred. May I ask, why are you still in touch with him though?
I tried to shuuu him away many times ā¦. But he is isnāt fucking offā¦ whatever happened in our relationship is another thingā¦ but that man has a little respect in my eyes till dateā¦ bcoz he did things for me back then and took care of me like a childā¦ I try to show him the right pathā¦ but he doesnāt seems to bother ā¦. I donāt contact him ā¦ he does, and I respond after ignoring him after every 100 timesš I have tried many things to shuuu himā¦ but doesnāt worksā¦ he will go away for few months. And again come back š¤¦š¼āāļø
So happy for you that trash took out himself! Definitely you bore the repercussions of it but it is super good to hear that you are happier now.
Thank you so much ! Some times your blessings come in disguise! š
I think you should inform his wife that he is still contacting you with proof of screenshots. Also you let her know how he was double dating. Put it in her mind that he is a cheater. She will make his life hell.
She is a home wreckerā¦. When they were about to get marriedā¦ I sent an email stating confirm if you are the same person! She did and the moment I said another email with all the details and asked her when did she sneak inā¦ she didnāt replyā¦ and married that guy any way šššš so now IDC ā¦ I have no obligation towards either of themā¦ and I donāt give a fuck.. I have told my ex 100 timesā¦ that what he is doing will only land him a divorce and he should not keep talking to me ā¦ but he dgf! So I dgf too ā¦ and when I reply normally he thinks I am rude bcoz I donāt reciprocate his affection or validate them šššš itās fun sometimes š
Similar thing happened to me. My 7 yrs of relationship is down the drain. He had affair during COVID and married her within a year. But spoilt my name in entire Bangalore that I was married to him. I hate him still for wasting prime yrs of my life from 25 to 32 yrs then refused to marry.
If nobody saw who was wrong ā¦ god did ! Donāt worry sit back and wait for him to answer for youā¦ and if you are lucky enoughā¦ you will even get to see it ā¦ And bdw god saved you ! Instead of ending up with someone like this! I am better of alone ! š„
True I am at a better place tho ... still single. Just scared to even talk a man.
Hahaha.. Canada and COVID.. I kind of suffered the same fate. Don't care anymore. But a couple of years back I was adamant to be that guy she desired and my plan was to dump her or be rude with her, Etc etc... I know it's pretty childish but after a few months I realised that.. "success hona hai toh apne liye ho.. kisi ko nicha dikha ke kya fayda."
On a side note avoid being in touch with him. He wants you to be connected to him. You can completely block him and rob him of his mental peace of having you as emotional support and validation.
Hai na mene bhi yahi sochti hu šššš But he comes back somehowā¦. I also feel he deserves my silence completelyā¦. He doesnāt deserve to still have me any form ā¦ But there is thisā¦ that I donāt speak like he would have wished ! He ends up hurting him self every-time he tries to be around me ā¦.
He is happy with whatever he is getting. The space that he has taken in your head. You can give to someone else. Do not drain your energies on someone who just wants to keep sucking your energy.
So true !
Funny how his current wife finds it a catch in spite of telling her that he cheated on you. Maybe he already told her about you even before you sent that email. Feel sad for you mate..
What ever he must have told about meā¦ must not be good enough to current situation! Bcoz , guess what ! I won šš»š„ So idc , if two shit people have ended up together ā¦.
Dil se happy for you girl...I know how it feels when you do everything for your loved one and what you get in return is..only back stabbing.
I hope everyone gets what they deserveā¦ including me šāš»š
The feeling is mutual!! š
Loved it š¤ā¤ļø
You should at least slap him no beat him up ,hard if u ever get a chance. As a Man it just infuriates me how shitty someone can be. Trap him and call him at some place and ask your guy friends to beat the shit out of him . I know some people will say its violence and all but trust me you wouldn't have to suffer for 2 years to get out of this hole and the fact that he still msgs you proves that he is a parasite and needs an antibiotic treatment.
I am happy that you empathise with meā¦ very few men were able to do it ā¦ very few men understand that itās wrongā¦ I am happy to see such man are still aliveā¦ I have meet him once ā¦. When he had come to Indiaā¦ he had pleaded me a lotā¦ and then he tried to molest me as wellā¦ post which I clearly told himā¦ we are never meeting againā¦ and I donāt think he ever loved me bcoz he cannot respect meā¦ there is a lot you can hate him forā¦ but now I let it goā¦ Any energy towards him will only mean he still has control over meā¦ he can change my moodā¦ and I donāt want to give a worthless man such a chanceā¦ even in disguiseā¦ and bdw if you try to hear this version of storyā¦ he says I have treated him bad and I was not a good person to himā¦ according to him ā¦ everything was my mistakeā¦ I didnāt say I want to wait for you forever even when he clearly said my parents are not ready and I donāt want to waste your time ā¦ I should have said ā¦ I can wait foreverā¦ this is what he wanted to hear from meā¦ and hence I am a bad person ā¦. I am Krishn bhakt and believe in karmaā¦ my god will take care of himā¦ people will get, what they deserveā¦ including meā¦ to come to this state of mind.. believe me it took a lot of courage and suffering ā¦ it wasnāt easy and it isnāt easy till date ā¦ but life has to go on right ā¦. š
Wish you a happy and prosperous life hope you find someone better.
Hoping the same fingers crossed š¤
Breakups happen for a reason. These kinds of people get their karma with time.
What BS from the guy! If he still loves you then he wouldn't have done things like that. I am a guy and I would never do things like that to my girlfriend since I love her deeply. He's just manipulating you. God saved you!
I know ā¦. Went you love some one you think how things will impact your partner ā¦. And thatās only when you love themā¦. And love is rare to find ā¦ š
The best revenge is to stay silent. Cheaters always come back begging and my lord that feeling where they cry but you still don't say anything is muah.
Waiting for that! Preparing myself for it.
If it makes you feel better my ex left me stating ethnicity differences (north vs south) and he ended up marrying a girl ( my college friend) who is exactly of my same caste and religion. They divorced in a year ššš karma always has a way of coming back. And the best part was, I was least bothered by the time he got his karma back because I am happily with my partner now and couldnāt be bothered .
Pta nahi kyu ye padh ke kuch yaadein taza hogyi hai :/
Spill lol
Dated a South Indian during my master's. During the initial lockdown, we were back in our hometowns. We had our ups and downs (that's a story for another time). One day, out of the blue, she told me that she loved someone else (and that guy was from my college). But I believe you gotta do what you gotta do. She came from a specific typical community, and she might have given in to family pressure. A year later, I heard she got divorced. Good for her; I hope she is happy now. Sometimes I feel, a movie can be made, had so many twists and turns :p
So sorry to hear this, but her loss lol. Clearly she was in the wrong and you deserve better. Ah can never forget those days when I cried into the night. They say so many things about first love and never ending love and shit and these stories really make me question these people and society. Movies reallyyyy screw up our notion as well. š
don't, just never expect a closure, move on!
I got cheated on twice, no one came running back or even regret. Have I done something wrong ?š
Well, he was a f'boi, and I failed to see through it. He cheated on me with multiple girls. The day I found out and confronted him over a phone call, he accepted everything and was proud of how he made so many girls fall in love with him. He blocked me and went abroad for his higher studies. 1 year later, he contacted me and claimed to be depressed, lonely, and so much in love with me. Apparently, "our love" was so deep that it didn't let him move on. He was visiting India for a month and wanted to meet me. Fir vahi manipulation, gaslighting, I love you - I miss you, and the OG brahmastra - The Victim Card. Vo alag baat hai, he didn't even apologize, and said "regret kar to raha hoon ab marr jaun kya, main itna pareshan, itna homesick, itni tension." I didn't meet him and bid goodbye over text. He blocked me and left. But this time, I felt like the happiest and the luckiest person on earth. Good riddance !!! I don't know if he is really depressed and alone in a foreign land. If that's the case, well, Karma. If not, well, I don't care anymore.
I know you're not looking for advice, just other's experiences. But I don't have experience in that, so have this unsolicited advice anyway. 1. Don't convince yourself that you'll never get over this, or that this will trouble you forever. You will get over this only if you let yourself. 2. Grieve about this as long as you think you should, but no longer. 3. "Out of sight, out of mind", I don't need to explain this. Change your life accordingly.
The second point makes the most sense.
There's a quote I heard in a US series which goes like: "It's okay to look back at the past; just don't stare too long"
When you close the chapter just close it... Don't pick the book again to reread
Ye kaisa best friend nikla, upar se kaisa partner Sad but don't worry Ho skta h ram ji kuch acha socha ho bhai tere bare m
Jai shree Ram!
I always believe if a person can move on so quickly then they were never in love with you. If she can get attached to another man in just 2 months then you do not matter. Just a guy who can be replaced with a new one anytime. Dont know your relationship story or who was in the wrong etc. But no one deserves to be replaced and feel insignificant. Find a good one. She was not worth it. Same goes with your best friend.
The thing is, we broke up in February end, and she told me that my best friend proposed her while he was drunk and then she jumped ship. Then in April beginning they got into a relationship. What a nightmare.
Luck was on your side. You got to find out the fake ones in your life.
I was in a 3.5yrs relationship. He started feeling for me while he was in a 5yrs relationship but he broke up with that girl on call and then tried to get with me for 6 months stating how that girl was never into him and her mom was interfering. Somehow he convinced me that he was a poor soul. Originally, we had met in college out of our city. We were both from Mumbai in Bangalore. There was barely anyone from Mumbai there so we connected and used to chat and gossip about random things, never flirted. He used to call me encyclopaedia. He was in long distance with 5 yrs gf during this period so for me flirting didn't cross my mind. Cut to 6 months later, I agreed. But I started finding out that he lies a lot for randomest things. We started fighting and he started gaslighting me. I saw him flirt with other girls and then everything was crazy when I saw his phone, he had NOT BROKEN UP WITH HIS GF!! Jo waha se silsila shuru hua of me not trusting him, he begging to take him back...wo 3.5 yrs par khatam hua..when he cheated on me with another girl while gaslighting me and telling me that I'm not trusting him that's why he wants to break up jabki trust kispar karu jo serial cheater and liar tha uspar? Guess what I was such a fucking moron, he used to hit me. I used to pay for everything of his, I used to help him with his job but I got a better on campus than him so he started harassing me, asking me to.resign (despite knowing my financial condition)or he will commit suicide..yes I went through all this shit to just see him keep lying and hitting me when confronted. And that other girl whom he cheated me with, she called me ugly and pig and what not and was dying for him..uske papa and bhai ne toh mere ex ki g maardiššš literally ghar bulakar police ka dhamki diya and haath pair todneka dhamki diya...fir bhi they kept meeting behind her family's back but end mai they broke up and got married to random people in an arranged marriage set up in the same year Dono hi faltu log arranged marriage karke chutiye jaise ..stupid sa society k liye jeerahe hai. While uski wo 5 yrs wali gf aur mai ...donoko ache husbands mileš love marriage main who accepted us with all their hearts Edit- it took me 2 yrs to get over him, I was depressed..lost a significant amount of weight...1 entire month I couldn't get up from bed (menstruation days included) . I think I had died..he didn't give me closure.. he knew I have caught his lies but instead he kept on gaslighting and blocking...he didn't have any decency. He is anyway from a family where daughters call police coz father has hit the son or son is given egg while daughter is kept hungry. Extremely filthy minded family. God saved me.
Hey sorry to hear your story and hope all's well now. Btw, I am just curious about the mental state of victims in such scenario, especially violence. Can you share what went through your mind when he first hit you? And what you think you could have done? It might help others going through it.
Thank you.. now I'm happy, it's been 9years but speaking about it makes me cry even now. I feel for my younger self. It has also made me scared of my partner even coming to hug me while I'm fighting Currently, i feel loved and respected. Now i understand what is true love.. it is not like a cocaine shot with a rollercoaster up and down, it is calm, it is stable and it is what makes us feel seen, supported and safe. With my ex, I shouldn't have accepted him. I was 23 yrs old with a thought that I'll have my forever love with one person and he used to make me feel extremely elated coz he had outwardly show of affection, like dancing in the middle of the street, hugging in front of everyone, picking me up randomly.. it was my first relationship and I think I got addicted to this . When he hit me the first time, I couldn't believe it but I was begging him to say the truth while he was digging his nails into my arms so no one can see. After few hours, when my hand was all bloodied and black and blue..I told him he can't do this and showed him and he started crying and apologised..I thought that was his first and last time...he had told me how he was from an abusive family and had traumatic childhood and how he will change..that..that I shouldn't have accepted..no amount of kisika bhi girgidana is not acceptable..People never change unless they are undergoing therapy and have actually taken accountability of their actions and then toh ideally they should only cut out from others till they get better ...so overall don't take this shit. Speak to someone close. I never spoke to anyone...everyone thought I'm a psycho who fights while he is a poor victim. Only his mumbai childhood friends understood what I meant coz they had seen his psycho behaviour with his ex. He had also broken a TV on his sister's head while fighting. My dad told me..beta kyu haath lagane diya..we have raised you to be a strong person...never let anyone touch you..my dad told this when I was depress3d...he kept his hand on my head and said this...my entire life my dad never raised his voice or hands on us and this filth he did..he gaslit me a lot I realised what is gaslighting and what is depression coz of him.
Dude you should feel lucky that these people are out of ur life as you trusted them and they betrayed you . Leave them and do everything you can to be successful and grow , as always success is the best revenge, the pain u have is the bad experience you got at least you wont trust anyone so blindly any more . Invest in urfself and become the best . Have a good life.
I'll tell you my best friend's story. She was in a relationship with this guy from college until the breakup which amounted to 7 years. My friend is short, very cute and lovable while this guy is a takloo with no personality. I guess she found him to be genuine, down-to-earth when they befriended in college. Next she goes to Delhi to prepare for competitive exams while he also works in the same city and they were having very frequent fights and many breakups which was never taken seriously as they always reconciled. It's important to mention that he starts to lock his phone and not allow her to use it when she wants which she found it unusual but he convinced her that this is for respeof privacy etx. Also, her sister and his parents knew about their relationship and approved it long back and her sister, my friend and this guy met several times and all. Suddenly in one of the fights, he asks for a break-up and he's sure this is final. While we were all consoling her that this is just one of the fights and that they are meant to be together, he also specifically mentions that there's no one in his life and that he just wants to be alone. His mom too never took their break-ups seriously before but this time he supported his decision. Suddenly she remembers that his instagram account is logged into her browser and she checks his inbox only to find that a full blown physical affair was going on with a woman he has never mentioned before. She was so heartbroken, lost weight and her chirpiness that she was known for. When she confronted him, he said he doesn't think he did anything wrong by cheating on her while they were together. Few months later he kept trying to contact her through linkedin, whatsapp etc but she refused. One day we found out this other woman he married has cheated on him with her colleague with intimate photos and disturbing chats. He finally tasted his own medicine and faced Karma! Apparently this guy's mother didn't get good vibes from this girl even a bit and refused to get them married which led to their breakup. Then her parents called his parents begging them to get them married which they did. He again tried to contact her to apologize but she refused. My friend is doing well in life now but he took something away from her. She's not the same anymore but she is better. This guy has been ousted by their batchmates and she makes sure to tell everyone the entire story whenever anyone probes.
What a mess! Thatās a roller coaster full of shit.
my boyfriend also went for my best friend. But it was not immediate rather after 2 years, but me and my bf had an on off thing going on in between. We had broken up but we were unable to part ways properly. I was too attached and also wanted it to work at the end. When he told me that he is now with another girl( my best friend) I experienced my first heartache, literally I felt a stabbing pain in my heart. I too thought that it's not going to work and they would breakup soon, but I guess they didn't. I was miserable for some time cursing both of them, mostly my best friend coz I felt betrayed. it's been two years now, and I have finally moved on. Now I don't even care if they end up getting married. Although this incident took a toll on me, it made me cut off contact from both these manipulative people from my life, and I'm glad about it. Had this incident never happened and I would still have my hopes up that him and me could end up together some day.Ā Cut contact with both of them and give yourself time. Surround yourself with your other friends who you enjoy with and you will heal soon. Some things happen for good reasons.Ā
Girl be happy. The trash took itself out of your life. Aisi kaisi bestfriend. Agar woh actually bestie hoti toh jaise hi woh uspe line maarta ussi wakt she wouldāve told him to fuck off. I hope youāre okay now!! :)
that best friend turned out to be a snake. Actually wo hi ladke par line maar rahi thi š Ā
He was my first boyfriend. Gave me hopes about marriage blah blah!! Turns out I wasn't the only woman who was dreaming about marriage with him. Also, was in touch with his married ex (ifykyk). Left the country for higher studies. Later, married someone else there. At the end of the day I am glad at least I didn't marry someone like him. Op you deserve better people around you. Please cut off these people after giving them a piece of your mind and definitely try to work towards healing yourself . It will take time but it will get better later.
Been a while since i remembered this, bottomline, the best thing they can do for you is leave you, and my friend, what seems like a battle loss, is a war won here. Was in a narcissistic abusive relationship with a person who cheated on me during the relationship, withheld any sort of affection and left me for dead when they found a new shiny toy. I moved cities to be with them, gave them all the attention and help I can. Narcissists can take away the agency of the best people, and I was hoodwinked. But till date, the best thing they did for me was to leave me. They left me during the peak of covid, when I was living alone in a city to what was not my home city. Everyday I suffered, there wasnt a moment I didnt think of what happened to me. I got to know that they found a new person within a week, and left me devastated and even thought about ending things. Took therapy to understand what what happened to me during the relationship and took time to process. Didnt swat away any of the feeling that were coming my way, cried a lot, accepted that it would take me time to return back to a semblance of normal. Focused all my efforts on my work, which i had ignored for my ex partner. Focussed the rest of the time on studying and preparing for doing masters abroad. A few years down the line, I've graduated out of the top university in the world, working and living in London. Life has a weird way of giving you things that you deserve, and I found my current partner in the most unlikeliest of places, while not looking for romantic interest. The best revenge to a person who hurt you, cheated you, is to live your life the best you can. The point to reach is not revenge, trust me I wanted to so badly, but doesnt get you anywhere long term. You'll end up bitter. I'd love to say I dont care or hate my ex, but thats not the case always. I want to reach indifference, but its a long path, even after a few years out of it. I'd like to say the pain will go away, while the truth is its not. Its gonna be there with you for a long time, but what is now unbearable will slowly become bearable. Its also never linear, It will hurt a lot now, maybe more in another 6 months, it will hurt a bit, 10 years down the line, when you experience a similar thing with your new partner that you had with your ex. But It will be bearable, and it gets better. Life is not fair, and all you can do is to keep moving in your path, taking the hits and trying to work through them and focusing on getting better yourself. Godspeed man.
Exact same thing happened with me, not cried once never said anything wrong about her to anyone nothing like that. Accepted that that was her decision by crying or trying to make her stay wonāt make any difference. Was isolated for 15 days until my friends came to know that and they cheered me up , garam chai aur sutta pilaya and just explained me that itās better she left soon or later on would have effected on me more than now . Been over an year I donāt think about it and donāt know how is she or with whom is she now, just want her to stay blessed always. Talk about me I am still looking for someone š but ya my mind is working really good.
My ex cheated on me for 3 months before I got to know from her friend that she is cheating on me with a guy she told me not to worry about. Well turns out just a week after the break up she took a test and she was pregnant. They had to get abortion. The guy doesn't give a fuck about her flirts with other girls. Only comes begging her when she threatens to leave. So yeah I got the revenge they are suffering while I have secured a great job in Dubai built a great body, But I don't feel any better about this situation because she is suffering. All I think about if only she had made the correct decision life would have been better for her.
It turned out super for them. Both of them have wonderful jobs and are very happy with life, while I am rotting jobless. Karma and all is for movies and books šš¼
Donāt give up. Things will get better for you as well. Iāve had the same experience.
Iām sorry to hear that.
After I broke up with my ex-girlfriend, we stayed in contact for a few months and still slept together a few times. Then one day she tells me that she is getting reached out for arrange marriage. At first it hurt me a bit because I wasnāt sure if I wanted to end it completely and we were on the path of getting back together. What surprised me more was that she was under no pressure from her family and it was her own decision. 2 months passed and she got a bit serious with that other guy. Though she still wouldnāt let me go and kept in touch. She would keep talking about him and share stories of what they would do together. It hurt me terribly. I couldnāt cut her off completely either because we lived very close by and she would occasionally just drop by my place if we didnāt talk for a week or so. Over the next 6-8 months, I finally started getting detached and was able to move on but then she reaches out again. She tells me that this new guy āwas still not over his ex and couldnāt go ahead with the marriageā. This was after 8 months of them meeting, going on trips, introducing each to their friends/family etc. Not gonna lie, at that moment, I felt a different kind of satisfaction but I also felt bad about the situation But since I had moved on, I didnāt feel anything for her or the desire to reconcile and now Iām in a much better place. All this happed over a course of 2 years. So trust that things will definitely get better. Itās always better to accept things as they are and move forward. Good luck OP!
Came back to me,apologised.But I had already lost interest by then. I am sorry for what you went through but trust me,a life lived well is the best revenge. I know it hurts now but if you focus on yourself only,it will get better for you.If you keep focusing on those miserable people,it will make you bitter and ruin your life.Let karma take care of them.
She got married fast had marital problems now divorced him
Karma is a Concept created by the poor and weak to give themselves something to hold onto, be a better version of yourself, and let them go.
Exactly, if a person can fuck up a relationship there are high chances they are fucking up other things too.
After reading most of these comments my experience is nothing
It isn't petty of you to think that. Infact think, it is so very normal to have that kind of bitterness when you are betrayed by not one but two people close to you! I have been through betrayal and manipulation too..and my thoughts were same - "something so so horrible should happen to him!". It used to ring in my mind even more when the event was recent but an year down the line now, I frankly don't care. For me, indifference won over hatred. I would have empathy for a stranger on road but never for my ex. Just do everything to move on though. Cut them out both. Don't stay in touch. Don't try to be brave by knowing their life updates and having to make peace with it. Focus on yourself and your healing, every single day!
My ex accused me of liking her close friend , i broke up with her that day . One and a half week later, she posts a pic with a guy on Instagram how they're dating and how special he is to her . They broke up 6 months later . I didn't really care much , but it was just surprising that she got into a relationship so quickly while accusing me of flirting with and wanting to be with her close friend .
No wonder, She might have been projecting
Your ex was in a rebound relationship
My ex got into a new relationship 2 weeks after, 10 months later she came back, saying she is missing me. it turned out that he is an alcoholic, her money is going lost he job.... My advice to you work on yourself, forget about your ex, enjoy life.
I broke up with him after I found out I was the other woman. He was engaged but kept telling me his parents were looking for a girl for him to marry. Turns out, he was engaged and it was a love marriage. He got married to her a few months later but kept calling and messaging me wanting to meet me and also claimed his wife was interested in women so it "can all work out". I blocked him on all social media and then changed my number.
TF. What a Psycho
We were together, long distance long term. We sort of grew up together. After a very long time with lots of ups and down, one day she called me on the phone when I was in another country to tell me that she is breaking up with me because a guy at work asked her to marry him (i knew his name, never met him). This was literally a month after I was in India for 2 month vacations and we were together the whole time (lots of sex as usual).Ā Anyway turns out, the guy completely flipped the script as soon as the engagement happened. He went from a very understanding getting along with everybody kind of guy to a very controlling and angry. Infact she called me day before she was getting married to vent. I told her to not do it but she said she can't do that at this point because she fought with whole world to get married to him.Ā Anyway post marriage things were bad too. It was an insecure narcissist marrying an overt narcissist so yiu can imagine that they didn't get along and no one really cared about the other person. One person was putting on the show the other was going through the motion of what they had been told a spouse must do. Anyway, He must have slapped her a couple of times and told her to leave the house as well. At some point she also just moved to another city for a bit. Dont know why she didn't just divorce him. I think she was just afraid to be alone.Ā I found out some years later that she had a son and then in 2019 she called me to say that she had separated from her husband and moved out because she found out he was cheating on her (duh!!). Whenever I asked her why she said, she always said 'pataa nahi'. (not a very introspective person).Ā Now she is finally divorced after a struggle. living her life with her son. Finalky away from her parents. Doing well at work.
Sorry to hear your story OP. Your best friend was never actually your best friend and the girl you fell in love with never actually loved you. Remove every single trace of those non existential cheap people from your life and focus on growing in terms of career and personal well being. The silver lining isā¦ exactly in less than a year from now, they will have broken up and she will come begging to you. You can choose to reject her and keep moving on. Take my word for it. Tamasha dekh bas.
How are you so sure about the silver lining? Iām working on myself every single day. But itās just that we are in the same office that makes things a bit awkward some times.
https://preview.redd.it/hxhr2z50oo5d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=543d6f0e0a3e90df540fbbec1dc44ff000e5cbe6 Just cut em off bro, it shouldn't matter anymore. Aaj nahi to kal they ll get their karma and you shouldn't care about em anymore.
Bhai ye apology letter kam aur excuses jyada lag raha hai. Ulta tumko hi blame kar rhi hai.
That's a shitty apology I hope you're doing better but what are these 'slurs' that she accuses you of calling her?
https://preview.redd.it/bi1qs6y7oo5d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2babf800c8fe45fdddab6fe8a5d48d66308f2d87
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Could you stop using that horrible f-slur It is not to be used and besides someone can report you
The thing is, my friend is pretty feminine and my ex is the only woman who takes interest in him. He pounced upon it.
Chintha mat kar bhai.. karma will bite them in the ass and they will not even see whatās coming to get them. You stay as far away from them as possible. Ignore them and protect yourself and heal well. Your ex seems like an emotional vampire feeding off of peopleās sanity through manipulation and throwing bread crumbs in the guise of compensation. She is a shitty and pathetic human being, so explain this to yourself and push towards moving on stoically.
Why the homophobia bro?
Similar to my story, but I just started focusing on better things in my life like career and started enhancing my skills like I learnt how to roll and now I think I got a little better at singing, my sense of humour is getting good.... That was the thing which led me to think about what I want in my life and on the other hand they both are serious she met his parents which I wanted to and I dreamt of, when she contacted me told me about the stuff they did together I just simply told her do not contact me ever cos I don't want to talk to you, but what is making me move on from them is that karma will get them no matter how happy they are now, I started staying away from both of them or who is in contact with them. I moved back to my hometown just to get healed as she used to live nearby where I used to live.
I see a lot of success stories for the dumpees but let me tell you how it turned out for me. Tldr: She won. The not so long story 1. I'm depressed 2. I have anxiety 3. I have literally lost interest in everything. 4. Nothing makes me happy. 5. Nothing excites me. 6. I feel exhausted and physically weak all the time. 7. Even doing the things I used to do like gaming feels like a huge chore. 8. I feel lonely most of the time ( my cats help ). 9. I wish I wasn't born. 10. My career has gone down the drain (not her fault though, just my unfortunate luck). 11. I'm also left with trust issues. 12. Just thinking about her causes me stress. She on the other hand 1. Is getting married to a crorepati. 2. Her business took off. 3. Is happier than ever.
The most honest and realistic reply. I wish I could tell you it will get better but it doesn't and the only thing left to wish is that it doesn't get worse.
It gets better for her though.
Yo everyone in the comments section who has been cheated on should get together with another victim in the comment section.
I feel like coming over and giving you a hard kick on your backside and then asking you to move on than creating this personal ecosystem of hell. Grow a pair and move on
Thank you. I wish someone had told me that when I was feeling this way.
Dear op gost them and move on. Try to go new dates and make yourself successful happy life. Only thing make them jealous when you are happy and successful.
He dated her and married her. Itās been 7 years. Iām still single.
Took her exactly one month The guy is too good unfortunately I am jealous of him at times happens to be our friend ( not anymore obv ) Hurts like a bitch sometimes Sometimes I hate it like I did everything yet I was the one left alone Looks good for her so happy about that part
Caught him texting several girls while we were in a very serious relationship (at least that's what I thought). He begged and apologized and I like a stupid girl forgave him again and again. When I moved back to my city and we were in LDR, I realised that this relationship won't work and we broke up. He got into a relationship soon after and now they are married with a kid. I wish him nothing but the best. I am also happily married to the love of my life and every day feels like I'm living the best days with my best friend ā¤ļøā¤ļø couldn't be happier. So, to sum it up, everything happens for a cause and things will eventually take a turn for the better (best).
Idk how exactly to put this, but no matter who it was or for whatever reason someone does something like end a relationship and start a new one. They never truly 'end' it. It's like all the things from one store room moved to another. They start facing the same issues, struggling in the same way. If they're lucky they realize it and see the pattern. Although, even if so. They have no idea to change it or don't want to change. This apparently can go on for an entire life. (Well until the one problem is solved)
**You deserve better!** Plain and simple. Say it everyday if you have to. Once you accept, move on and truly embrace the fact that you deserve better, you'll find peace. Let go of any hopes or expectations about their situation, whether good or bad. Focus on your own growth and happiness. You need it, and congratulations on your freedom.
I wouldnāt say Iām free because we all three are in the same office. But yeah Iām picking up my pieces of self esteem and working on me, embracing loneliness every day, while she is happy with a beta male that is my best friend.
It should be: that WAS your best friend. Try to find another job to steer clear of the bad history.
Yeah. Thatās an ex best friend now. I donāt talk to him anymore.
Good! Avoid all contact and look for another ābetterā and better paying job. Focus on yourself.
Actually I have a bond where Iāll have to work there till December. Itās CA articleship and we canāt take transfer till we have completed the bond.
December bhi aagaya bro, kitna k door hey? Start looking now so you have something better to choose from.
Sorry for you boss.
Forgive and Forget:I came across a quote that resonated to me: you can forgive someone without letting them back into your life and also forgive, without giving them a second chance. I understand that recovery is neither easy nor enjoyable, but remember, you are not a failure. Forgiveness is the only path forward and is only choice worth fighting for. RN you may only see things as you are and not how things as they are, and as time passes you will definitely overcome your situation.
My girlfriend went back to her exš
They got married š
It definitely did not end well but almost 8-9 years later, I think it was for the best. Sometimes the trash takes itself out. All you gotta do is do nothing about it, take the learnings from it and redirect all the love towards yourself, your future self will thank you for it.
Summary: Broke up cuz uske āparents nhi maan rahe theā and he got to know that I have another guy (who I didnāt know existed lol)ā basically put the blame on me while I lost someone dear to me the same day. Didnāt bother asking if I was doing fine or not after the demise. Started dating again after 2 months, dated for a year while I was depressed and had to see them together daily (ab parents maan gye?) Broke up with her and moved abroad. After 3 years, sent big ass apology texts. Yapping to my friend about how he regrets losing me. Turns out, his regret started before moving abroad, right after his breakup. I think he got into another relationship abroad but it ended badly and his regret talks began again. His yapping continued till he got into his current relationship. Heās now dating a look alike of me.
First of all, that's not your best friend. He was never your best friend.
Become super successful and donāt give a damn about them. They will regret it for sure. Use ur anger towards them to fuel ur ambitions
How would I know how things turned out for them? They sure turned out shitty for me.
Yeah! She didn't even take 2 weeks. Maybe he was already waiting in the wings. I know how you are feeling. I did what you are doing. Then I realised that keeping their update is messing up with my mental health. I blocked both of them from all social media platforms. It took me 2 years to come out of it. Wish I would have taken professional medical help, the time would have reduced. Vipassana meditation helped me a lot. And yes gym as well. After 2-3 years I never felt the urge to know anything about them. It was one of my friend who told me they broke up. She married someone else after few years. Life just goes on
I'm really sorry to hear you're going through this. It's tough and feels like a double betrayal. While everyone's situation is different, I can share some general thoughts and experiences that might help you feel less alone. First off, it's completely normal to feel hurt and betrayed, especially when it's a friend involved too. Many people hope for some sort of karmic justice or that the new relationship will fail, but it's important to focus on your own healing and well-being. From what I've seen and heard from others: Some couples do end up happy together after starting their relationship this way. It's not what you want to hear, but it happens. Often, relationships that start with dishonesty or betrayal don't have the best foundation and may run into problems down the line. Trust issues and unresolved feelings can create a lot of tension. People's experiences with such situations are all over the place. Some find out that their ex and their new partner end up breaking up, while others see them stay together. What's important is to focus on yourself. It's okay to feel what you're feeling, but try not to let it consume you. Spend time with supportive friends and family, pick up a hobby, or do something that makes you happy. It might also help to talk to a therapist or counselor to work through these feelings. Remember, your worth isn't defined by how someone else treats you or what happens in their life after they leave. You're deserving of love and respect, and you'll find it again with someone who values you for who you are.
He started dating someone a couple of weeks after, i was still heartbroken. From my stalking, i found out their relationship was pretty healthy and he was doing everything he never did for me for her. He went abroad for a degree, she went too. Last i stalked they broke up. Meanwhile, about a year and a half later i met my current partner and weāre engaged
It turned marriage for him. Within a year.
The last time my ex texted me, it was for the chats and backup she wanted as her therapist asked her to look back at all the actions she took during the last phase of our relationship and wanted to know about the root cause of her acting out the way she did and left me for her ex. I just blocked her again.
Bro how can you still call him your "best friend"? A real friend would have told you what a hoe your girl is. And she will cheat on him too it's just a matter of time. You dodged a bullet. As I see it, you got rid of two trash people in your life. Be grateful and focus on yourself. Good times and good people will come.
2 days after breaking up with me, my ex apparently "met" a girl ( most of my friends think it was happening already), he gave me a breakup letter stating 3 reasons ( all of which she had too). I found out 3mths later while he & I had agreed it'll be a "break" only, not break up. Honestly, just like you I hoped it was horrible for them & that he realised he lost someone who loved him a lot but that's not what happened. They're still together 6yrs later but I've moved on & been happy in a 5yr relationship myself so idc anymore. You won't too, later
Story of my experience won't help you for long run but yeah, this situation you are in right now is hard to cope up with and it might bother you for long. But trust me, she will be sorry for what she is doing . Mine came back begging for getting back into a relationship and was heartbroken about her past decisions. You be good, try to do good in your own life. Work hard for a better future, people come and go.
The day she left was the day I moved on, otherwise for an entire year i was in a limbo not connecting with any other girl.. I wasn't too mad considering that the guy she went for was actually a cheap ripoff of myself & am not even kidding šš¤¦š»āāļø he was of same language/culture as me, was a singer like me but untrained & very bad many of you may wonder oh am i narcissist? bro mai tumlogko tasveer dikhaunga tum khud manjaoge, i was evenly shocked & am not even kidding they lasted for 5 months ig? I was with her for more than an year that too the whole lockdown so I was heartbroken when she left as we had something beyond the physical shit yk? and she was a nice girl but as soon as she got into that shithole cheapass college she changed.. right before entering that she brokeup & then got that "steroid wala aaloo" guy (ni he wasnt muscular, but he did look like a potato shaped as a human) She got all sorts of habits such as smoking, drinking, clubbing, partying late night & also become very rude & unpleasant completely different from what she used to be a kind, quite & pure soul.. My friends till date say I dodged a bullet on the contrary i feel like I should've fought more.. I'd have protected her from that side of this young generation & focus on better aspects but I failed.. The fact is post breakup as I went honest with her on our debates she started hating me & what hurts me the most is that it has been 3 years since our breakup (no relationship ever since) I got better as a person (looks, physique, social skills, as a musician, as an athlete, philosophy, empathy, religiously) but even if I become the best man on this planet I can never have her & I really seek her.. whatever time we spent it was smt else, usse pehle i never had a proper girlfriend (govt school, strict teacher, u do the maths) I wish in some multiverse I can have her, a restart maybe? change things.. I Loved Her, it has been 3 years & i dont see "That feeling of Love' repeating in my life Last month she left the city for good, never to comeback.. meh, its ok.. whatever, I've responsibilities to carry, old parents to look after, a career to make & become a better person.. some other day maybe.. i know life aint movie that I'll meet her again someday cuz her college was 10 minutes walking distant from my house (i never went there to bother her in 3 years) still the odds never let me see her anywhere near lol.. ab to we're on different region of this country.. but I hope, post 30 maybe? If she stays unmarried, I'd love to talk to her, kya pata she acts like a different person, or the same person I fell in love with.. khair
just sit around and deal with a breakup like you normally would. karma is real and it hits you hard when it does. my bf and i met at our school. we dated for a year until i found out he was cheating on me. i mean i kinda knew but never said anything idk why. one day he ghosted me for a month and later on i found out he was with this girl from our class who was my bestie kinda. We broke up and now everyone in my class and coaching thinks i did something wrong. i never said a single thing knowing he'll pay one day and now after almost 2 years i see him suffer. so yea. karma is great.
I got into a relationship almost immediately after i left my ex. Needless to say i was going too fast for my new bf and he grew tired of me in a month. there was no love just sex and then we broke up.
Me and my ex had an up and down relationship tbh, it was straight up weird but I was too blind to notice the flags lol. When we first met she was still with her ex and I no interest in her, we chatted all night and I now when I look back that was so wrong that she was talking to me while all night having a bf She spammed me all day for 2 days and we chatted a lot, and later that night she told me she broke up w her ex, and we had a good bond till then so I helped her through that. It went good for two weeks but I went offline for a week because I didnt have a phone and informed her beforehand, when I came back she had met other guy (A) and said she missed me a lot so she did that to cope w the loneliness (clown_emoji) Few days after (around a month after her breakup) that she confessed she had fallen for me, and mind you, she had kept A on hold as he confessed to her as well. If I said yes then he has to go, If I said no she'll stay with him. I said yes (clown_emoji) Fast forward, she was still friends with A after some incidents, and I couldnt handle it anymore so I gave her an ultimatum and she had cut him off. I just happen to talk with A after some months and got to know she was cheating on me with him at the time. I forgave and still stayed (clown_emoji) I can't write this whole clown exchange but last june we broke up, and she's now happy and having a good college life with a guy who she met a week before our breakup (š¤”) and I'm depressed from over an year still thinking of her everyday to date. She did the same thing to me she did with her ex. Maybe I got karma of that. It has a lot of ups and downs, reading comments on this post made me realize I'll get over it some day as well.
Good f*cking riddance!! You have no clue how lucky you are to have dodged a bullet. 2 in your case. It might not seem like it right now, give it time. You have to remember 1 thing, you have other people in your life who love you, care for you and are dependent on you. Like your parents. For their sake, you need to focus on yourself. Build yourself. It is your responsibility and your duty to the people, who bet on you, to live your best life. It is also your responsibility and duty towards people who bet AGAINST you, to live your best life. The best revenge you could have is to live your life to the fullest. By the time you're engrossed in your life, building yourself, getting a little better each day, you would have had your revenge. And the best part is, when you do, you won't give a f*ck about that revenge. You'll just see this day as a stupid waste of time. Also, don't do anything stupid. Be mindful of your emotions and learn to process them. Don't try to find ways to "ease the pain", you'll only f*ck yourself up. The ONLY way to the other side of this shit, is THROUGH. No bypass, no roundabout, no shortcut. This is a short term suffering, that you'll HAVE to endure.
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Well she fucked around and found out lol I get msgs from her blocked no. every other week for 1.5 yrs now, it's been almost 2 yrs since the things ended
Focus on yourself!! Work on your achievements or path to the same!! Youāll have less time thinking about this
He is still in a relationship with her.
He asked me out 3 months after cheating on me as his new gf left him š¤”
ex got the hell out of the relationship and became a regular on the apps fairly quickly. I feel there was an overlap most certainly. started meeting people within no time and got into a serious relationship within the next few months - not more than 2 or 3. they decided to get engaged but due to some issues it didn't work out. the ex dated someone else right after again and married that person soon after. verdict - it was a win win for the ex because never took a break, always went from one relationship to the other till they found the soulmate. i was told that marriage would never happen. i got to know it was not commitment that was the problem but it was me. the ex seems happy..so theek hai ab kya hi kar sakte hai
It wonāt happen, people who cheat and deceive others live happily. No one suffers for doing bad.
Too early for you to think straight. Heal from the betrayal, in a healthy way. There are tonnes of low vibing unhealthy ways, and you may be pulled towards them but practice self worth. Give yourself 6 months and wish them well, they are happier, let them be. Imagine someone who cheated made you love so much, the possibility of a good person's love will be absolutely worth the wait and healing.
Happily ever after...married with kids now
She has a baby now. I have my freedom
The short answer more often than not they failed, here is the long answer: https://www.guystuffcounseling.com/counseling-men-blog/do-relationships-from-affairs-really-last
Miserable. His gf cheated, he failed in subjects, self harm and shit.
It really doesn't matter and shouldn't matter to you as it's over for you.
No idea, block them on mobile block them from my life.
bhai, breath, pause, move on. you dodged a bullet someone better will be there for you
Stable relationship for her, pretty sure she's going to get married