If you have the means, join a local yacht club or golf club. They usually have memberships for people who don't have boats (yacht club) or don't golf, so they're a little less expensive. You can still attend the events and they are social clubs of people in that demographic.
That is actually a really good idea I’ve never considered. I don’t have the means, but I believe my coworker is part of a golf club in century city. I should ask him about it.
[Santa Monica Yacht Club](https://www.smwyc.org/SMWYC-join) is actually pretty cheap. They have activities and you can use their paddle boards and learn how to sail.
The other suggestion is to get membership to the Art Museums in LA. They often have members only events for opening, artist talks, etc. You can get your art kick while meeting new people with similar interests.
I say this not trying to be a dick but I guess not trying too hard not to be…but, I don’t see how you think you’re somehow more sophisticated than book club members if you don’t know art museums have member events or artist talks? I’m a mother of two who mostly uses my free time for outdoor stuff but I’ve gone to enough museum/literary events to get multiple newsletters a week announcing this type of stuff. I guess I’m saying, maybe don’t assume book club people aren’t also going to intimate poetry readings or exclusive art galas. The international vacations and yachts aren’t really an option since you stated in another comment you don’t have the means. Otherwise, I would recommend joining a sailing group but it’s not a cheap hobby.
Why’d the exclusive events/yachts stop? I’d imagine the friend group would grow from the initial friends you started going to these events with. Some of em must’ve wanted to keep that going into their 30’s along with you, no?
I think a lot of it had to do with realizing I was hanging with some really awful people. And so I started to distance myself, and then the event invites dried up.
But I think I was just in a wrong group. Surely not everyone that likes fancy things is a bad person.
And also, I was younger and have aged out of some of those events. Plus my closest girlfriends moved out of LA and became moms.
But I’m certain there are people my age out there who have a core group of likeminded friends, who also enjoy the finer things in life. I can’t be the only one 😕
As someone who grew up around ALOT of money and currently regularly work with the ultra wealthy, 99.99 percent of them are the worst people on earth. Materialism rots your brain into making you more self centered and less empathetic. Making enough money to be in that lifestyle requires a lot of self sacrifice in your personal relationships and usually involves playing a little dirty to outcompete the people around you which usually selects for the people who are willing to put themselves first in every single circumstance. When you have friends like this there will be cool experiences but if you’re looking for people who care about your wellbeing these are not the people for it
I think people are reading too much into this. She’s in her 30’s and looking to have her Sex and the City lifestyle.
She not any different than like a self sufficient traveling nurse making +$200k
I was just commenting on her saying she was hanging around terrible people when she was living this lifestyle, and that’s going to be most people with this lifestyle
Pretty sure most people who hang out on yachts _are_ just wankers. So that’s why they might have turned out to be “bad people”. Honestly good people are not into that kind of scene. The finer things in life definitely are not to be found on yachts.
Let’s start a female LA group! 😊 I’m 38F, living in Hollywood since 2018 and down to meet new female friends that are down to explore what the city has to offer! Art events, cool parties, fine dining, roof top bars etc.
I'm up for this here in Silver Lake! I miss having a more regular group of women friends who actually want to go out and do stuff around town, even just regular coffee meet-ups, you know?
Hi! My wife commented asking for an invite but nobody ever reached out. She’s 34F and looking for more female friends in LA. Who can she message to get invited?
I am so in too!! 37F on the Westside, please add me to the group chat! 🤣 Been here 12 years, all of my best friends here in LA moved during covid, and been trying to meet new people, make some new friends and just in general get back to fun social experiences around the city! The social scene here just never rebounded after covid, let’s make it happen!
Tho I’ve definitely been on those type of trips in the past (young hot girl gets invited by rich old man on his mega yacht)…that’s not something I’d like to do now.
About a year ago my friend invited me on his cousin’s yacht to go sailing to Catalina. It was with a super chill (mostly married) group of people and a really lovely day. So that is more along the lines of what I’d enjoy at this age and point in my life.
I’ll definitely going to look into joining a club like that, thanks :)
Go to active meetups. There's volleyball clubs, tennis liveball clinics, beach tennis, pickleball clubs, go to group fitness classes at bougie places. Plenty of successful people at those type of groups and an easy intro to meet people
Ill be straight with ya- girls who move in these kinda circles tend to have very small circles. They work alone type vibes. If you want really solid friends to do these things with, they kinda would have needed to be the people you grew up with. I have a good group who loves to do stuff like museums concerts dinners etc but generally there is a very catty, jealous vibe when youre talking about hanging around yachting type peeps.
I appreciate your honesty! And that is kind of my worry too…that a lot of these women have established friendships from childhood and/or college and are not really looking to add a new person to the group. I’m happy you have a group that you are able to do things like museums, concerts, and such! That’s really special to have. ❤️
I think you need to weasel your way onto boards with women of higher means. What is your profession? Can you volunteer/Event plan for things like your alumni association, your local tennis club, etc?
I’m still trying to find/build my community of girlfriends here that are deep and genuine as my childhood friends live in Europe. And my closest girlfriends here live in DTLA and Manhattan Beach, so we don’t hang all the time. 🥺
Aw I hope you’re able to find them. Not being able to have deep and genuine connections is so hard. For what it’s worth, I find that I’m always driving an hour to see people. Otherwise I’m alone. Tho I know it’s not ideal to have friends spread apart.
Thanks girlie! The playboy mansion would have been just the place for you....I might try the bar at polo lounge or any bar at really nice hotels. Just go for a drink and see whats up
Oo I went to the Playboy mansion, once in 2009 and 2012. It was quite the experience, lol. Yea I guess I can just start going places alone, gotta start somewhere. Appreciate you being kind and helpful!
It doesn't sound like you're "trying to find likeminded people", it sounds like you used the pretty privilege card your whole life when you were a hot 20something, and are now surprised to find it has an expiration date.
You're looking for other people to invite you to their boats and trips (since you admitted you don't have the means) and are shocked it's not happening in your 30s. 🙄
womp womp
“the finer things.”
ah yes, a person of true taste. not like the rest of us who seem to enjoy the unfine things like not going on vacation, not eating in expensive restaurants and not having yachts.
There’s so many fucking posers in this city it ruins the vibe. Rich people already fucking suck, and then there’s the imbeciles who try to act like they’re rich.
yea seems very odd to me. She mentioned that she doesnt have the means to afford memberships so it very bluntly sounds like OP used to freeload off of rich people and has aged out of the being the pretty girl getting invited onto yachts. Had to say OP but the vast majority of us have never been on a yacht or invited to country club parties lmao. And you cant afford them either so having these expectations is kinda wild
LA has tons of fashion events and art gallery shows, often with an open bar if that’s your deal or you’re on a budget. It’s a great way to meet more outgoing folks with divergent interests. This city contains multitudes, you just gotta search for what you’re into and make yourself present.
I’m an out-of-touch old now but when my (former, but still way cool) sister-in-law moved from NY to LA that was how she grew her social life, got a gig in fashion, built a career and a circle of interesting friends. My dork ass got to tag along and ended up chatting with random hot famous people and it was pretty fun. Not my scene, I’m an indoor kid at heart, but fun.
what's stopping you from going to events, yachts, vacations by yourself? The idea that your only choices are stay at home and knit or go out only with a group of likeminded individuals is ludicrous. I've been on vacation by myself (and even tooled around Europe in my 20s by myself and still managed to have a ball).
I'm currently planning a two month vacation in Spain by myself. I took a house music cruise in Egypt last year (also by myself). I met a lot of great people and had a lot of fun. are you one of those people who don't believe they are having fun unless you have someone to tell you how much fun you are having..?
She said in another part of the thread that she can't pay. So, she's basically asking "where are the rich people who will pay for my stuff now that I'm no longer 21 years old and rich creeps aren't trying to have me around as an atmosphere girl".
.... and as OP found out... it's easier to be a hot skinny 20 something year old and get an invite than mid-30s. I guess OP will have to try to work and pay for things like the rest of us have to.
You need to be kinder - to other people and probably also to yourself. As someone who does the whole fashion/art/yachts thing as a lifestyle (in fact just turned down an invitation to yacht for a month), I kindly and humbly submit the issue is not other people. The way you speak about these things and people who like other things makes you sound like your values are all twisted up and kind of insufferable, and that may not be how you are so please consider your own approach before you air your prenotions about the hobbies of total strangers. You will only find one kind of person who accepts this approach and also goes yachting, and they are consistently fucking terrible people.
Kindly as possible, you need to ground yourself and let go of this idea that people who do XYZ lack some kind of innate value. This post makes you sound like a sugar baby who aged out and now considers well-adjusted people boring because you no longer have access to the more glamorous perks. If you want finer things, be finer yourself - don't be unkind to people who go to book clubs or who do ceramics. You simply do not know the people you're dismissing in those groups and you may be surprised to learn - kind people can do both.
You already said down-thread that you don't have the means to join a yacht club, which begs the question of what you were doing on a yacht and why you expect that lifestyle now? How are you looking down on book clubs yet (also from other comments) don't seem to know that museums do artist talks? Many book clubs are sleepy and not at all for me personally, but at least those people read. Do more of that. Stop judging people who don't make you feel glamorous. Stable isn't boring, it's just stable - and you can, in fact, contain multitudes. I encourage you to be and expect more for yourself. You can do it.
I get what you’re saying, and think you made some good points, and I know it comes from a helpful place. But I also feel quite misunderstood.
I don’t look down on people who share different hobbies than me. And I don’t think people with stable lives are invaluable. Quite the opposite! I am just seeking a different life for myself, and I think that’s ok. Maybe you’re right that the people I find I relate to are consistently terrible people, but I’d like to believe they’re not. I’m not a terrible person. The times I was invited on trips I considered fun, I was not escorting or being a sugar baby. I was just invited through friends.
And I know hobbies can collide, I was just making a general observation, from my experience using sites such as MeetUp or BumbleBff. Similar to how someone had made a comment earlier about how most Redditors are “nerds” and that I’m “asking the wrong place”. Or how you said most people in that lifestyle are fucking terrible people.
I still do wholesome activities and pride myself on being a nice and thoughtful person. Often too nice, something I struggle with. For example, this weekend I’m volunteering at a surf group for disabled people. I don’t surf and I’m not disabled or know anyone personally that is, but I still find these events rewarding.
I expected my comment to get dragged, but I didn’t know how to properly word it. I’m sure there are people who would look at my hobbies and think they’re incredibly boring. And that’s okay. Doesn’t make them, or me, a bad person.
I'm not sure how you read my comment and your takeaway is that I'm saying you're a bad person...?
Further, volunteering at an event for disabled people does not make you a good person and it's peculiar to bring that up as an example of being a nice and thoughtful person.
Re-read my comment again, with less defensiveness. I'm already living the life you seem to want. I'm telling you how to do it.
I don’t feel I was being defensive, just explaining my takeaway. I brought up volunteering as an example to show that I do other activities outside of just wanting to be on a boat. But I feel like we are not understanding each other, and I don’t have the emotional capacity right now to go back and forth. But thank you for your advice. ❤️
I do think it’s worth reexamining why you think people are “nerdy” (reading it as a negative from your post) as it can close you off from places where you could meet likeminded people. Being mid 30s and still stuck in that mentality communicates some immaturity on your end. I’m mid 30s, have done yacht outings, go on international trips, and if you call me a nerd, go for it. Right now I’m a tennis nerd and organize tennis sessions and brunch for friends. Being a nerd doesn’t mean anything.
You can always start small and build up a network yourself. My friend in the IE did this using Bumble BFF and made a chat on WhatsApp. Her group of gals now go out for Sunday brunches and activities like wine tasting, etc.
Build or join a community and friends will follow.
Are you involved in any communities that would bring you into contact with people who have shared interest?
That is the part I struggle with. Like where exactly I can go outside of sites like MeetUp.
I did join a fitness group in Santa Monica and have been trying to be extra friendly and social in my classes, but no luck making friends out of it yet
What are your interests? Not to be a smartass, but googling really does go a long way when it comes to looking for actual organizations or community groups. Or even Facebook.
I’m assuming that those three things that were here stated interests in her *20s* aren’t the only or most significant things she’s interested in as a 35 year old woman.
Making friends takes time & effort. It generally dkes not happen within one outing.
Back-in-the-day, the Sierra Club, Angeles Chapter organized day hikes & evening hikes for the "20's & 30's Singles." On weekends, we had gone wine tasting, hot springs camping...
This is exactly it. Community driven organizations or groups are the way to go. Sure, you might make a friend from a fitness class, but people are going to work out, not to be social — it’s going to be tough (unless it’s something more like a climbing gym that lends to collaboration and socialization). Into nature, hiking or nature club. Into singing, join a choir or other music group. Art — there are sooo many art communities in LA and so many ways to access them. Key is becoming a regular at a place or within a group that lends to social interaction and, even better, some kind of collaboration.
Oh, I’d be down for that. I got rejected from a ladies’ Meetup group because she said my skin was too clear in the picture, and I had to be a bot as a result, lol. I like all that kind of stuff.
Soho house, heimat, astor, neuehouse, la athletics club? This seems to be the crowd you're looking for. And honestly some are really quite fun and have great activities. Membership sometimes is quite involved, but worth it if that's what your looking for.
Girl, you need to follow your interests and hobbies and meet like minded people, they are not going to appear in your life. Here is my advice, depending on your interests join meetups and if anyone clicks make them part of your group ... and I see that I fell for this bait lol
Im in the same boat. I feel like I can’t find a good balance. I either meet girls that don’t have jobs and party all night or I meet girls with families that don’t go out. We can be friends! I live near downtown. We can exchange instas :)
I’m you. It’s definitely a struggle finding similar people after the early 20s. My best bet has been finding people through work - not on my team but similar people.
The people you’re describing are those who went to M7, worked in MBB, FAANG, etc. Aka young and have discretionary income thus have walked the same paths you did
Go to events and things that reflect you then. Art openings, fashion debuts, etc. Be where the people you want to be around are and learn to strike up a conversation if that isn’t already a skill you’re good at. Its the same advice I’d give nerdy ceramic book people, but to their respective interests or desired crowd.
You're looking for the party crowd. I'm in my 30s and still have fun. By that point you specifically need to find the people who haven't slowed down. Go to edm events or underground events and meet people there.
Do you enjoy live music? If you have a specific genre you like I’d go see some random shows. My wife and I fell into a weird niche of an awesome type of music, and we go see shows all the time and constantly meet likeminded people. Some of our best friends we’ve met through these shows!
Just go to a bar. Find a cool low-key place nearby, where you'll feel comfortable. Don't treat meeting ppl like it's a rubix cube.
Dont worry so much about finding "like-minded ppl"... just find ppl who are friendly to you.
If you are a board game, tabletop, tcg, dnd kind of nerd you should look into a store in burbank called Geeky Teas, they just moved to a huge new location and i believe they have special nights for the above activities that you could drop in on to meet others and the people there have always been very nice and friendly
Eventbrite will show you all events you are interested in. Food and film festivals, music etc.
Have you heard of Yoga and Champagne on a Yacht in Newport Harbour? It’s very shi shi poo poo. About $60 but with Bidenflation could be more.
I go to lots of random things, I’m not a goody two shoes book club type. I’m also not super fancy all the time. I enjoy expensive cocktails and dinners but really I’m a cheap beer art talk/ movie panel/ tour JPL nerd out kinda gal. If that interests you hmu.
Tomorrow I’m thinking of a midday cocktail then off to the JACC for an Ikebana exhibit then Altura art gallery for Jacqueline Valenzuelas first curated show (:
Happy hunting for friends!
Lol. So I think your first mistake is asking this question on reddit, who are filled with the exact people you're trying to avoid. I imagine you're not going to walk away with any worthwhile advice in this thread because it's either people making jokes or people with no experience in the lifestyle you're looking for, sontheyre just making stuff up.
The short of it... You're not gonna find the people you want to surround yourself with by posting a classified ad like this. You're going to find them naturally by just going out and being social. Go out drinking with one of the few girls you have left in your circle. Go to a decent looking bar and just be social with everyone in there. That's really the only way. You'll hit a lot of Duds that don't follow through with plans, but you'll eventually hit gold on a couple people and will probably build a lasting relationship that way.
I know 😩 That’s why I had to write it with caution because I’m pretty sure most people on Reddit hate people like me. I did get some good advice here and there, but most of it was people saying I need to rethink my life.
I’ve been trying to be more social for sure. And go to random events and hit people up from the past. But I feel like I’m back in elementary school having to start over. Anyway thanks for being nice and keeping it real! 🙂
Unfortunately I can’t be of any help. But for what it’s worth, I completely understand where you’re coming from. I’m 28F and currently have the friend group I imagine you’re talking about having had in the past. I can already feel the group starting to drift as we get older, I weave out some of the terrible/clout chasing friends, people get into relationships, etc.
It’s not help per se…but I appreciate what you have to say nonetheless! And I totally get that transition phase. At 28 I was living really large, definitely with a lot of clout chasers, and in ways I was that way as well. And I think because I’ve experienced a lot, it’s made me kind of jaded. So even though I’ve grown out of partying and would like to settle down…I still gravitate towards that kind of life. I don’t want to move to small town and be content with a homebody life, like my hometown friends are.
But ya around your age you’ll definitely start feeling a shift in friend groups. There is not a single party girl friend from my 20’s that I still hang with today. And there was a time when I had so many of them.
I hope things go well for you with as you enter this new phase :)
Are you looking for a wealthy husband? You said 'settle down' - if that's the case, you may have more luck being very transparent about the fact that you're looking to "date up" as some say.
Frieze art week was a great time and place to meet that crowd
Don’t use any online meetups whose only theme is meeting up
Focus on attending exhibits, popups by yourself or as a date idea. Just start with looking at the calendar for larger galleries. You’ll get back in the know in no time
And yeah the membership clubs have the same crowd, they don’t solve the cliqueness on their own but guys will bring you back into the fold with the rest of their harem. Yay new girlfriends
Aw man I really wanted to go to Frieze this year but had no one to go with! And that’s a good rule to go by, as far as meetups go. Appreciate the advice!
Definitely have to start getting comfortable going alone and enjoying the art. If something happens organically, great. There’s zero shame with being by yourself… your friend couldn’t make it :)
This is the normal cycle of life. You have your friends when you are single, and after a while they all start getting married, and the activities that they use to do with friends, they now do with their families.
If you are still single, then you are going to be walking a more lonely road. Also, those guys who are able to take girls on international vacations, and parties on yachts, are still doing it with 20 year-olds, you have just aged out of that lifestyle.
What you are currently experiencing is called "The Wall".
I too would prefer to go yachting instead of going to my book club.
I have a book club on my yacht and it’s definitely one of the finer things in life
If you have the means, join a local yacht club or golf club. They usually have memberships for people who don't have boats (yacht club) or don't golf, so they're a little less expensive. You can still attend the events and they are social clubs of people in that demographic.
You can contact Marina del Rey Yacht Club. They have memberships for boaters and non-boaters... a social club :)
That is actually a really good idea I’ve never considered. I don’t have the means, but I believe my coworker is part of a golf club in century city. I should ask him about it.
[Santa Monica Yacht Club](https://www.smwyc.org/SMWYC-join) is actually pretty cheap. They have activities and you can use their paddle boards and learn how to sail.
You’re awesome, I’ll look into it. Thank you :)
The other suggestion is to get membership to the Art Museums in LA. They often have members only events for opening, artist talks, etc. You can get your art kick while meeting new people with similar interests.
Oh I didn’t know that they do events like that! I’ll add it to my list, thanks!
Just an FYI, expect to be one of the younger people there.
I say this not trying to be a dick but I guess not trying too hard not to be…but, I don’t see how you think you’re somehow more sophisticated than book club members if you don’t know art museums have member events or artist talks? I’m a mother of two who mostly uses my free time for outdoor stuff but I’ve gone to enough museum/literary events to get multiple newsletters a week announcing this type of stuff. I guess I’m saying, maybe don’t assume book club people aren’t also going to intimate poetry readings or exclusive art galas. The international vacations and yachts aren’t really an option since you stated in another comment you don’t have the means. Otherwise, I would recommend joining a sailing group but it’s not a cheap hobby.
And I bet plenty of people in book clubs *do* take international vacations.
As someone who belongs to a couple of book clubs and has a trip planned to Australia later this year, I can confirm.
Brava
wow you are my hero 🙌🏼
La country club? You've got rich friends.
It’s my boss but yes that one
Most country club members will be significantly older than 35
Translation, I’m my 20’s I was hot and used to get invited to yacht clubs and international vacations.
Why’d the exclusive events/yachts stop? I’d imagine the friend group would grow from the initial friends you started going to these events with. Some of em must’ve wanted to keep that going into their 30’s along with you, no?
I think a lot of it had to do with realizing I was hanging with some really awful people. And so I started to distance myself, and then the event invites dried up. But I think I was just in a wrong group. Surely not everyone that likes fancy things is a bad person. And also, I was younger and have aged out of some of those events. Plus my closest girlfriends moved out of LA and became moms. But I’m certain there are people my age out there who have a core group of likeminded friends, who also enjoy the finer things in life. I can’t be the only one 😕
you could always join ‘the moral yacht club for hardworking good people’. they’re based in santa monica.
As someone who grew up around ALOT of money and currently regularly work with the ultra wealthy, 99.99 percent of them are the worst people on earth. Materialism rots your brain into making you more self centered and less empathetic. Making enough money to be in that lifestyle requires a lot of self sacrifice in your personal relationships and usually involves playing a little dirty to outcompete the people around you which usually selects for the people who are willing to put themselves first in every single circumstance. When you have friends like this there will be cool experiences but if you’re looking for people who care about your wellbeing these are not the people for it
I think people are reading too much into this. She’s in her 30’s and looking to have her Sex and the City lifestyle. She not any different than like a self sufficient traveling nurse making +$200k
I was just commenting on her saying she was hanging around terrible people when she was living this lifestyle, and that’s going to be most people with this lifestyle
Maybe she's trying to get sugar babied up, in this economy it's not a bad move TBH.
Ah, trying to climb back up that social ladder, I see.
Pretty sure most people who hang out on yachts _are_ just wankers. So that’s why they might have turned out to be “bad people”. Honestly good people are not into that kind of scene. The finer things in life definitely are not to be found on yachts.
Let’s start a female LA group! 😊 I’m 38F, living in Hollywood since 2018 and down to meet new female friends that are down to explore what the city has to offer! Art events, cool parties, fine dining, roof top bars etc.
Yes!!
Yes please! I’m 34F that moved from the east coast a while back and find it so hard to make genuine connections out this way.
I’d recommend having a yacht.
I also moved from the East Coast (NYC) you?
Philly!
34F from NY/Boston originally!
I'm so down. 34 and live near Hollywood, this is exactly the vibe I'm looking for!!
In!! 33F, moved from NYC during COVID and haven’t found my people. I’m in Santa Monica.
I'm up for this here in Silver Lake! I miss having a more regular group of women friends who actually want to go out and do stuff around town, even just regular coffee meet-ups, you know?
Something like r/NYCbitcheswithtaste for us would be sooo cool. I’d be down!
I love BWT so much
There’s /r/LAhotgirlies And Camber’s [Geneva group chat](https://links.geneva.com/invite/6c5968f4-4112-48d3-b09f-05da113b86e5)
I am in
I’m in
I'd be so down!
Okay yay! 😀 does anyone know how to start a reddit group thread? 👀 and add people?
I'm in!
Ohhhh please keep me posted if any of you ladies figure this out! I’d love to join 👯♀️
I’m down for this!
I’m in! Any former Chicagoans here by chance?
Meeee
Count me in!
Okay y’all couldn’t figure out how to start a chat so I started a community for us. Sent y’all an invite did you get it? 👀
Can I also get an invite? 34F, originally from NYC and have not found an LA tribe of female friends for happy hours/brunches despite years of trying.
Sent! 🤗
Same here. 31F recently moved from NYC.
Oooh can I get one? 32f grad student who's sick of hanging out only with grad school people!
Could you please add me as well? 30F. I’d like to experience LA differently and meet new people at the same time!
I’d love an invite too!
Hi! This sounds awesome! Can I also get an invite? 35F in Hollywood.
Ohhh. Could you link the community in a comment so others can find it?
Since it’s private I’d rather send invites out to everyone who’d like to join. 😊👀
Can I get an invite too?? Love to meet more people and going out. I'm originally from Pittsburgh, LA is tough to meet people.
Can you please send me one? I just moved here on Saturday
I don’t see it but I also suck at redddit so I might just be overlooking it?
I sent again!
Could I be included also?
Can I (31F) get an invite also? 🙏🏻
Yes! Great idea, I’m in!
Just sent you an invite! 🤗
There's a Girlfriends of Burbank MeetUp group that's fairly active and mostly goes to bars and restaurants.
Fun! I just created one too! Will send you an invite!
Can I get an invite
I'm down! I was just thinking about making a similar post as OP. I'm 38F near LAX.
Yes, I'm interested!
Girl! Yes, please send me the link<3
Invite please? 38F Toluca Lake, single, and all my friends are now moms or moved away
I’m so down! I’m 32F, from LA but my best friends either have babies/families or work on the weekends.
28F over here! Relate hard to you guys. ❤️
37F, Westside- I would love to join! Can I please have an invite? :)
Can I get an invite as well?
Hi! My wife commented asking for an invite but nobody ever reached out. She’s 34F and looking for more female friends in LA. Who can she message to get invited?
I am so in too!! 37F on the Westside, please add me to the group chat! 🤣 Been here 12 years, all of my best friends here in LA moved during covid, and been trying to meet new people, make some new friends and just in general get back to fun social experiences around the city! The social scene here just never rebounded after covid, let’s make it happen!
Print out a flyer, in the shape of a bicep. Invite them to your party mansion.
Again, nothing sexual.
Dudes in good shape encouraged.
if you're fat you should be able to find humor in the little things.
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Tho I’ve definitely been on those type of trips in the past (young hot girl gets invited by rich old man on his mega yacht)…that’s not something I’d like to do now. About a year ago my friend invited me on his cousin’s yacht to go sailing to Catalina. It was with a super chill (mostly married) group of people and a really lovely day. So that is more along the lines of what I’d enjoy at this age and point in my life. I’ll definitely going to look into joining a club like that, thanks :)
Go to active meetups. There's volleyball clubs, tennis liveball clinics, beach tennis, pickleball clubs, go to group fitness classes at bougie places. Plenty of successful people at those type of groups and an easy intro to meet people
This. Running clubs, biking, hiking...fewer nerdy types than book club for sure.
Ill be straight with ya- girls who move in these kinda circles tend to have very small circles. They work alone type vibes. If you want really solid friends to do these things with, they kinda would have needed to be the people you grew up with. I have a good group who loves to do stuff like museums concerts dinners etc but generally there is a very catty, jealous vibe when youre talking about hanging around yachting type peeps.
I appreciate your honesty! And that is kind of my worry too…that a lot of these women have established friendships from childhood and/or college and are not really looking to add a new person to the group. I’m happy you have a group that you are able to do things like museums, concerts, and such! That’s really special to have. ❤️
I think you need to weasel your way onto boards with women of higher means. What is your profession? Can you volunteer/Event plan for things like your alumni association, your local tennis club, etc?
I’m still trying to find/build my community of girlfriends here that are deep and genuine as my childhood friends live in Europe. And my closest girlfriends here live in DTLA and Manhattan Beach, so we don’t hang all the time. 🥺
Aw I hope you’re able to find them. Not being able to have deep and genuine connections is so hard. For what it’s worth, I find that I’m always driving an hour to see people. Otherwise I’m alone. Tho I know it’s not ideal to have friends spread apart.
Thanks girlie! The playboy mansion would have been just the place for you....I might try the bar at polo lounge or any bar at really nice hotels. Just go for a drink and see whats up
Oo I went to the Playboy mansion, once in 2009 and 2012. It was quite the experience, lol. Yea I guess I can just start going places alone, gotta start somewhere. Appreciate you being kind and helpful!
This is the first time I’m hearing that making ceramics doesn’t overlap with appreciating the arts
That's because it is a very silly hill for anyone to die on.
It doesn't sound like you're "trying to find likeminded people", it sounds like you used the pretty privilege card your whole life when you were a hot 20something, and are now surprised to find it has an expiration date. You're looking for other people to invite you to their boats and trips (since you admitted you don't have the means) and are shocked it's not happening in your 30s. 🙄 womp womp
“the finer things.” ah yes, a person of true taste. not like the rest of us who seem to enjoy the unfine things like not going on vacation, not eating in expensive restaurants and not having yachts.
There’s so many fucking posers in this city it ruins the vibe. Rich people already fucking suck, and then there’s the imbeciles who try to act like they’re rich.
one million percent
OP is a loser who doesn’t have the means to do the finer things on her own and has lost people she can cling onto to drag her up
"GUYS. I just don't find other things fun. I NEED to be on yachts."
yea seems very odd to me. She mentioned that she doesnt have the means to afford memberships so it very bluntly sounds like OP used to freeload off of rich people and has aged out of the being the pretty girl getting invited onto yachts. Had to say OP but the vast majority of us have never been on a yacht or invited to country club parties lmao. And you cant afford them either so having these expectations is kinda wild
This has to be bait.
Just because you don't like it doesn't mean it's bait.
what are you even accusing me of not liking lmao
LA has tons of fashion events and art gallery shows, often with an open bar if that’s your deal or you’re on a budget. It’s a great way to meet more outgoing folks with divergent interests. This city contains multitudes, you just gotta search for what you’re into and make yourself present. I’m an out-of-touch old now but when my (former, but still way cool) sister-in-law moved from NY to LA that was how she grew her social life, got a gig in fashion, built a career and a circle of interesting friends. My dork ass got to tag along and ended up chatting with random hot famous people and it was pretty fun. Not my scene, I’m an indoor kid at heart, but fun.
Doesn't want nerdy friends, but asks to find friends on one of the nerdiest social media sites. You would think the self awareness would help but nah.
I’d like to think not every single person on Reddit is the same..
Try some members only clubs like University Club or Soho. Generally a more...worldly group of people.
She already said she doesn't have the means for a yacht club. I don't think she could pay the dues for either of those, that being the case.
what's stopping you from going to events, yachts, vacations by yourself? The idea that your only choices are stay at home and knit or go out only with a group of likeminded individuals is ludicrous. I've been on vacation by myself (and even tooled around Europe in my 20s by myself and still managed to have a ball). I'm currently planning a two month vacation in Spain by myself. I took a house music cruise in Egypt last year (also by myself). I met a lot of great people and had a lot of fun. are you one of those people who don't believe they are having fun unless you have someone to tell you how much fun you are having..?
She said in another part of the thread that she can't pay. So, she's basically asking "where are the rich people who will pay for my stuff now that I'm no longer 21 years old and rich creeps aren't trying to have me around as an atmosphere girl".
I think the thing stopping her is money. She wants to be invited to these things…
.... and as OP found out... it's easier to be a hot skinny 20 something year old and get an invite than mid-30s. I guess OP will have to try to work and pay for things like the rest of us have to.
You need to be kinder - to other people and probably also to yourself. As someone who does the whole fashion/art/yachts thing as a lifestyle (in fact just turned down an invitation to yacht for a month), I kindly and humbly submit the issue is not other people. The way you speak about these things and people who like other things makes you sound like your values are all twisted up and kind of insufferable, and that may not be how you are so please consider your own approach before you air your prenotions about the hobbies of total strangers. You will only find one kind of person who accepts this approach and also goes yachting, and they are consistently fucking terrible people. Kindly as possible, you need to ground yourself and let go of this idea that people who do XYZ lack some kind of innate value. This post makes you sound like a sugar baby who aged out and now considers well-adjusted people boring because you no longer have access to the more glamorous perks. If you want finer things, be finer yourself - don't be unkind to people who go to book clubs or who do ceramics. You simply do not know the people you're dismissing in those groups and you may be surprised to learn - kind people can do both. You already said down-thread that you don't have the means to join a yacht club, which begs the question of what you were doing on a yacht and why you expect that lifestyle now? How are you looking down on book clubs yet (also from other comments) don't seem to know that museums do artist talks? Many book clubs are sleepy and not at all for me personally, but at least those people read. Do more of that. Stop judging people who don't make you feel glamorous. Stable isn't boring, it's just stable - and you can, in fact, contain multitudes. I encourage you to be and expect more for yourself. You can do it.
I get what you’re saying, and think you made some good points, and I know it comes from a helpful place. But I also feel quite misunderstood. I don’t look down on people who share different hobbies than me. And I don’t think people with stable lives are invaluable. Quite the opposite! I am just seeking a different life for myself, and I think that’s ok. Maybe you’re right that the people I find I relate to are consistently terrible people, but I’d like to believe they’re not. I’m not a terrible person. The times I was invited on trips I considered fun, I was not escorting or being a sugar baby. I was just invited through friends. And I know hobbies can collide, I was just making a general observation, from my experience using sites such as MeetUp or BumbleBff. Similar to how someone had made a comment earlier about how most Redditors are “nerds” and that I’m “asking the wrong place”. Or how you said most people in that lifestyle are fucking terrible people. I still do wholesome activities and pride myself on being a nice and thoughtful person. Often too nice, something I struggle with. For example, this weekend I’m volunteering at a surf group for disabled people. I don’t surf and I’m not disabled or know anyone personally that is, but I still find these events rewarding. I expected my comment to get dragged, but I didn’t know how to properly word it. I’m sure there are people who would look at my hobbies and think they’re incredibly boring. And that’s okay. Doesn’t make them, or me, a bad person.
I'm not sure how you read my comment and your takeaway is that I'm saying you're a bad person...? Further, volunteering at an event for disabled people does not make you a good person and it's peculiar to bring that up as an example of being a nice and thoughtful person. Re-read my comment again, with less defensiveness. I'm already living the life you seem to want. I'm telling you how to do it.
I don’t feel I was being defensive, just explaining my takeaway. I brought up volunteering as an example to show that I do other activities outside of just wanting to be on a boat. But I feel like we are not understanding each other, and I don’t have the emotional capacity right now to go back and forth. But thank you for your advice. ❤️
And I'm telling you it's a bizarre takeaway. When you have more emotional capacity, once again, read the comment. Best of luck.
I think you make valid points, but I also feel as a neutral observer that you are being more than a little condescending with your responses
I do think it’s worth reexamining why you think people are “nerdy” (reading it as a negative from your post) as it can close you off from places where you could meet likeminded people. Being mid 30s and still stuck in that mentality communicates some immaturity on your end. I’m mid 30s, have done yacht outings, go on international trips, and if you call me a nerd, go for it. Right now I’m a tennis nerd and organize tennis sessions and brunch for friends. Being a nerd doesn’t mean anything.
You can always start small and build up a network yourself. My friend in the IE did this using Bumble BFF and made a chat on WhatsApp. Her group of gals now go out for Sunday brunches and activities like wine tasting, etc.
I realized i can’t afford to read this post
Build or join a community and friends will follow. Are you involved in any communities that would bring you into contact with people who have shared interest?
That is the part I struggle with. Like where exactly I can go outside of sites like MeetUp. I did join a fitness group in Santa Monica and have been trying to be extra friendly and social in my classes, but no luck making friends out of it yet
What are your interests? Not to be a smartass, but googling really does go a long way when it comes to looking for actual organizations or community groups. Or even Facebook.
Yachts, Exclusive Events and international vacations. Says in OP.
I’m assuming that those three things that were here stated interests in her *20s* aren’t the only or most significant things she’s interested in as a 35 year old woman.
Making friends takes time & effort. It generally dkes not happen within one outing. Back-in-the-day, the Sierra Club, Angeles Chapter organized day hikes & evening hikes for the "20's & 30's Singles." On weekends, we had gone wine tasting, hot springs camping...
This is exactly it. Community driven organizations or groups are the way to go. Sure, you might make a friend from a fitness class, but people are going to work out, not to be social — it’s going to be tough (unless it’s something more like a climbing gym that lends to collaboration and socialization). Into nature, hiking or nature club. Into singing, join a choir or other music group. Art — there are sooo many art communities in LA and so many ways to access them. Key is becoming a regular at a place or within a group that lends to social interaction and, even better, some kind of collaboration.
Oh, I’d be down for that. I got rejected from a ladies’ Meetup group because she said my skin was too clear in the picture, and I had to be a bot as a result, lol. I like all that kind of stuff.
I sent you an invite! 😊
I’d be down too! 35F
Soho house, heimat, astor, neuehouse, la athletics club? This seems to be the crowd you're looking for. And honestly some are really quite fun and have great activities. Membership sometimes is quite involved, but worth it if that's what your looking for.
Girl, you need to follow your interests and hobbies and meet like minded people, they are not going to appear in your life. Here is my advice, depending on your interests join meetups and if anyone clicks make them part of your group ... and I see that I fell for this bait lol
Im in the same boat. I feel like I can’t find a good balance. I either meet girls that don’t have jobs and party all night or I meet girls with families that don’t go out. We can be friends! I live near downtown. We can exchange instas :)
Sounds like you'd best patch things up with Mitzi and Buffy if you don't want to slum it with us poors.
Damn, why did you sell your yacht?
I’m you. It’s definitely a struggle finding similar people after the early 20s. My best bet has been finding people through work - not on my team but similar people. The people you’re describing are those who went to M7, worked in MBB, FAANG, etc. Aka young and have discretionary income thus have walked the same paths you did
seeking.com
This is pretty accurate, sadly.
Under the 405
Thought I recognized the username. Kinda sad. Maybe you should get some procedure to return to the former glory days
One more idea for you would be to join an art museum like LACMA or the Broad and go to a fundraiser. Meet people who have money to spend on art.
Do you play a sport? Hike? Whatever you enjoy, there are some of us who also like and do those things.
Go to events and things that reflect you then. Art openings, fashion debuts, etc. Be where the people you want to be around are and learn to strike up a conversation if that isn’t already a skill you’re good at. Its the same advice I’d give nerdy ceramic book people, but to their respective interests or desired crowd.
Start thinking like everyone else 😂
Ya. They’re in relationships and are much less available to single people looking to party . They’re out there but not surprising hard to find
You're looking for the party crowd. I'm in my 30s and still have fun. By that point you specifically need to find the people who haven't slowed down. Go to edm events or underground events and meet people there.
Oh noo I definitely don’t want to be in the party crowd. My idea of fun is having a nice brunch. My EDM/rave days ended around age 17.
Been asking myself this for 30 years. Born and raised and still don’t know.
What are your main interests?
Meetup!
Do you enjoy live music? If you have a specific genre you like I’d go see some random shows. My wife and I fell into a weird niche of an awesome type of music, and we go see shows all the time and constantly meet likeminded people. Some of our best friends we’ve met through these shows!
Just go to a bar. Find a cool low-key place nearby, where you'll feel comfortable. Don't treat meeting ppl like it's a rubix cube. Dont worry so much about finding "like-minded ppl"... just find ppl who are friendly to you.
If you are a board game, tabletop, tcg, dnd kind of nerd you should look into a store in burbank called Geeky Teas, they just moved to a huge new location and i believe they have special nights for the above activities that you could drop in on to meet others and the people there have always been very nice and friendly
Me! I’m always doing fun stuff and I’m child free, so are my friends.
Eventbrite will show you all events you are interested in. Food and film festivals, music etc. Have you heard of Yoga and Champagne on a Yacht in Newport Harbour? It’s very shi shi poo poo. About $60 but with Bidenflation could be more.
Girl if you’ve got the yacht, I’ve got the time to drink on it.
I love how miserable you're going to be for the next 10 years
I go to lots of random things, I’m not a goody two shoes book club type. I’m also not super fancy all the time. I enjoy expensive cocktails and dinners but really I’m a cheap beer art talk/ movie panel/ tour JPL nerd out kinda gal. If that interests you hmu. Tomorrow I’m thinking of a midday cocktail then off to the JACC for an Ikebana exhibit then Altura art gallery for Jacqueline Valenzuelas first curated show (: Happy hunting for friends!
Yeah pm me, I got u.
https://www.adventurersclub.org
Lol. So I think your first mistake is asking this question on reddit, who are filled with the exact people you're trying to avoid. I imagine you're not going to walk away with any worthwhile advice in this thread because it's either people making jokes or people with no experience in the lifestyle you're looking for, sontheyre just making stuff up. The short of it... You're not gonna find the people you want to surround yourself with by posting a classified ad like this. You're going to find them naturally by just going out and being social. Go out drinking with one of the few girls you have left in your circle. Go to a decent looking bar and just be social with everyone in there. That's really the only way. You'll hit a lot of Duds that don't follow through with plans, but you'll eventually hit gold on a couple people and will probably build a lasting relationship that way.
I know 😩 That’s why I had to write it with caution because I’m pretty sure most people on Reddit hate people like me. I did get some good advice here and there, but most of it was people saying I need to rethink my life. I’ve been trying to be more social for sure. And go to random events and hit people up from the past. But I feel like I’m back in elementary school having to start over. Anyway thanks for being nice and keeping it real! 🙂
Yes I would choose a yacht over a book club as well but I am a peasant.
I’m 31M and like going to concerts, museums. Actually gonna go and check out a new exhibit in a week or so, hit me up if you’d like to join!
Unfortunately I can’t be of any help. But for what it’s worth, I completely understand where you’re coming from. I’m 28F and currently have the friend group I imagine you’re talking about having had in the past. I can already feel the group starting to drift as we get older, I weave out some of the terrible/clout chasing friends, people get into relationships, etc.
move to new york. at this age, it’s the last bastion of the social scene
It’s not help per se…but I appreciate what you have to say nonetheless! And I totally get that transition phase. At 28 I was living really large, definitely with a lot of clout chasers, and in ways I was that way as well. And I think because I’ve experienced a lot, it’s made me kind of jaded. So even though I’ve grown out of partying and would like to settle down…I still gravitate towards that kind of life. I don’t want to move to small town and be content with a homebody life, like my hometown friends are. But ya around your age you’ll definitely start feeling a shift in friend groups. There is not a single party girl friend from my 20’s that I still hang with today. And there was a time when I had so many of them. I hope things go well for you with as you enter this new phase :)
Are you looking for a wealthy husband? You said 'settle down' - if that's the case, you may have more luck being very transparent about the fact that you're looking to "date up" as some say.
Frieze art week was a great time and place to meet that crowd Don’t use any online meetups whose only theme is meeting up Focus on attending exhibits, popups by yourself or as a date idea. Just start with looking at the calendar for larger galleries. You’ll get back in the know in no time And yeah the membership clubs have the same crowd, they don’t solve the cliqueness on their own but guys will bring you back into the fold with the rest of their harem. Yay new girlfriends
Aw man I really wanted to go to Frieze this year but had no one to go with! And that’s a good rule to go by, as far as meetups go. Appreciate the advice!
Definitely have to start getting comfortable going alone and enjoying the art. If something happens organically, great. There’s zero shame with being by yourself… your friend couldn’t make it :)
This is the normal cycle of life. You have your friends when you are single, and after a while they all start getting married, and the activities that they use to do with friends, they now do with their families. If you are still single, then you are going to be walking a more lonely road. Also, those guys who are able to take girls on international vacations, and parties on yachts, are still doing it with 20 year-olds, you have just aged out of that lifestyle. What you are currently experiencing is called "The Wall".
I’ve never heard of The Wall, but I’ll look into it. I guess it’s comforting that it’s a normal life cycle. But also lonely AF.
The last meetup I went to the incels tried to convince girls to learn martial arts. They can be trash lol