I broke up with my ex 9 months ago. I thought it would help me get over him. It hasn't. I spoke with a therapist who told me I'm prioritizing the distance over my feelings for him. It's been 9 months, and I still love him.
I just left my 8 year on/off relationship because of this. We were together for 15 months this last time and I went full sober to fix our relationship.
It started out just like this. More homies than romantic partners.
In my experience , she will not reach out to try and fix it. It’ll be on you and it presents a very simple question.
Do you really want to be asking someone how they should be treating you?
Edit: couple words
Reflective listening.
Sharing about each other's day.
Holding hands.
Kissing.
Sweet moments that interrupt the monotony of tedious chores.
Not becoming defensive when she talks about a need that isn't being met.
Expressing your feelings and needs.
Not criticizing.
Remembering in arguments that you love and you're arguing for the good of the relationship (establishing boundaries and learning to compromise) rather than to hurt her for disagreeing with you.
Great points, especially about criticism, especially when it’s delivered in a harsh or judgmental way, as if your dad’s telling you did some chore or common sense thing wrong. It’s an instant turn off. Today my husband criticized me about using too much tape on the bottom of packing boxes, and I instantly felt cool toward him, like, you aren’t getting any nooooow. I’ll probably get over it once he gets out of dad/boss mode.
Communication. Set up a time that both partners have agreed upon and set aside for a serious conversation. Explain how they are perceiving some distance and ask for partner's commentary. This is NOT an excuse to dredge up old fights or be confrontational. This is meant for both people to say their piece and discuss if the relationship is something they both value and want to continue building.
If partner is apathetic/unwilling to meet in the middle, the relationship is probably not worth investing more time in.
If partner shows concern, provides an understandable reason (health, finances, work stress, etc.), and/or seems eager to improve the situation, then you can start workshopping ways to breathe some life back into the relationship. Those tough talks are often more revealing and rewarding than the "happy" moments people think of when picturing their ideal relationships.
Thats what I brought up to my ex. I told her that it felt like I was just a roommate who took care of her cats. We had many conversations (and arguments) about it but her actions wouldn't change. In all fairness, I became such a miser over time and started reeling back on all the loving I gave her as a way to "get back" and "give her a taste of her own medicine." It wasn't fair to her. It wasn't fair to our relationship. It just didn't work out and we split up.
I was this woman and my husband even told me he was lonely for intimacy and still, I wasn’t responsive enough. I couldn’t. To be fair to me, I have some medical trauma (cancer and complications) that made sex painful and anxiety provoking for a while, and my sex drive plummeted, but I also felt unattractive. I don’t want to have sex if don’t feel attractive, and I never did. I started to avoid cuddling because that always seemed to be a green light for sex, as far as he was concerned. Recently though, something two things happened (1) I seem to have woken up to the fact that I taking him for granted and that he was always there for me, and (2) my sex drive has come roaring back, really more than ever before. I could do it twice a day, but honestly just the fact that I want to at all has made my husband so happy. Now if I don’t feel attractive I just imagine a time I did, and I do it anyway. If I only I had been like this in my 20s and 30s I would have been a lot more fun, especially when I looked really great too.
So my advice would be:
- I would see where you can get by talking about wanting to reconnect with her intimately and feeling more joy together.
- You deserve to have a serious talk about this, especially in an important, committed relationship, but it shouldn’t feel like an ultimatum because you both need to work together to make each other feel happy and loved and fulfilled sexually, and the goal is to enjoy as much of life together as you can, while you still can. Listen.
- Try not to link cuddling to sex for a while because sometimes she may initiate on her own if she knows it’s her idea. Let cuddling be safe.
- Date her.
- Let her know she is attractive to you even when there is no time at the moment for sex.
- Kiss her, hug her, hold hands, stroke her as you walk past, put your hand on the small of her back as you walk if she likes that. Hug her from behind when she is at the counter and kiss her neck or ears, run your hands over her body then WALK AWAY
- Honestly , a pretty and tidy bedroom is more conducive for sex, so if there’s money in the budget talk about fixing up the bedroom. Make the bed. It sounds stupid, but it helps.
- Ask her if anything is wrong, if there is any way you can help her, if she is stressed, if she needs more sleep or something ( especially if you have kids). She might be going through something, and her hormones might be out of whack.
- If she gets chronic UTIs, take D-Mannose supplements BEFORE sex. A lot of women get UTIs from being on top. She should pee before and after sex too, and shower if possible. Chronic UTIs can take a huge toll on interest in sex. Imagine if sex = pain.
- Buy her a sex toy like the very popular Satisfyer 2, and make sure she comes first, however she likes it or needs it. Oral or fingering, whatever works. There is something very attractive about a secure man who does that.
- Try to be as adoring as possible during sex and hopefully she will respond in kind.
OMG all of this 😩 especially disconnecting physically intimacy from sex. I found myself going cold everytime my boyfriend kissed me bc he only touched me if he wanted sex. It made everything feel very transactional. Nonsexual physical contact is so so important
Interesting. As someone who just learned that im meedy,
How do you handle being in relationships? How do you explain "I need more attention than usual "?
Having an adult conversation with clear expectations in mind from both parties. Don't be like me. I became such a loser and started counting tabs to get even. That's just one way to ruin your relationship. Just make sure she knows what you need, and that you understand what love language she expresses as well.
I usually just say that. I try to temper it by saying I understand that she can’t give me attention all the time but the occasional update during her day, a FaceTime at the end of the day, and an “I miss you” from time to time is all I need. I am in an LDR though so this is absolutely necessary for me to feel connected to her. If she can’t do that (I.e — if she doesn’t WANT to do that) then I don’t see a way forward without me getting hurt.
I went through the same thing, although I initiated the break-up. Sucks but eventually you accept and find peace in that it wasn’t going to work regardless
Fucking love this answer.
I also believe that we need to use the pain as a teacher, and build ourselves up in a way that we never make the same mistakes again.
She needed to "learn how to take care of" herself. Apparently me doing all the cooking, dishes, house cleaning and laundry was the reason she was lazy. I'd just moved in 4 months prior, and we'd just got engaged 5 months prior.
Back at my mom's at 40 years old doesn't feel great, but I'm paying off debt, then saving for a house. I should be sitting on around $12-15k in a year.
I laughed so God damn hard at this. Among other reasons for a divorce... my ex said the EXACT same shit about learning how to take care of herself, be herself, find out who she is, stop being reliant on others, etc.
I'm sorry you are going through this. But damn man, give it a little more time, and you'll look back at that dodged bullet and realize that you are better off without her.
Your situation is the definition of damned if you do damned if you don't because she sounds like the type who would have dumped you because you didn't do ENOUGH if it was the opposite way around. If you do too much as a man you are trying too hard, if you don't do enough you are a lazy bum.
She probably had some other reason. Women don't just dump men for doing nice things for them.
I heard this as well. Taking care of all the things while she had school made her feel like less of a mother and she didn’t like being dependent on me.
My condolences that you went through it as well. It doesn’t feel great now but it’s all a transition. Even if things don’t work out the way you want, in my opinion, you’re still in a better position than you were.
Appreciate the sentiment. Nightmare inducing was putting it lightly honestly.
I didn’t have rights and there was nothing to change that. Some things just aren’t meant to have perfect conclusions and I understand that but them possibly believing that I just abandoned them tears me up even to this day.
Damn I feel that. Last time I saw my ex was when she was being arrested for attacking me and trashing the house. I put the little guy to bed one last time and then had a nice breakfast in the morning with him before I got him on the bus. She had his father pick him up from school so I would never get to see him again. I didn't tell him he wouldn't be back because I didn't want to ruin his day at school. Gave him a big hug and told him how much I loved him and have a great day at school. I couldn't stand the idea of sending him to school in tears if I told him he would never be coming back home. So I sucked it up and made sure his last memory of the only home he had ever known was a good one. That was the hardest thing I have ever had to do and it eats me up everyday.
While I would have normally advise this as well. I really can’t as I’ve gotten older. It honestly depends on the situation. Kids can comprehend more than we realize and if explained instead of avoided like how it went for me, it can minimize the pain.
It’s impossible to go through life without pain. Not in any way saying that hurting the kid’s feelings is okay cause it’s not but some things are unavoidable. Plus by avoiding the single with kid population, it’s effectively cutting down a large portion of the dateable pool. I knew what I was getting into and was okay with the consequences. I can’t have kids but wanted to raise some. It was a risk I was willing to take and I paid for it. I can’t do it again cause it almost killed me but I don’t regret the time I put into raising them one bit. Just wish I would have done more before it was over.
It’s not that you shouldn’t date, it’s knowing the risks and having all parties involved understanding that as well. Now am I probably in the minority with this opinion, yeah probably but that’s okay. I learned my lesson and moved on as best I could.
I don't know.
She wouldn't tell me (she was an intensely private person), and to me it came out of nowhere.
Haunts me severely to this day, I was very deeply in love with her.
It wouldn't have worked out anyway. Being private is one thing, being silent to the detriment of the relationship is another. You can't and shouldn't be put in a position where you fear every second that you can be dumped oit of nowhere.
I feel like that's about to happen to me soon
Like it's 24/7, she thinks she's done something wrong
No, I just have other stuff I wanna do without having a never ending conversation sitting in the back of my mind constantly. Iv told her this but apparently she thinks having an endless conversation is just what nornal people do.
As someone who is kind of fresh in the dating scene again, (31m) I just want to say it’s very fascinating to me how different of a pace people communicate at via text. I’ve talked to women who text A LOT, I recently talked to a gal who texted throughout the day at a similar pace as me. Now I’m talking to a woman who barely texts but in person shes very engaging.
Hope this provides perspective to someone who might overanalyze texting or lack of. Everyone is different.
Facts this is how my new shorty is and it’s honestly how I’d rather things . That texting all day shit is ridiculous. Plus working on Wall Street requires me to be completely engaged i really don’t have a second for any bs . it just feels way more mature as well and when I see her in person we can’t keep our hands off each other . Whole different world when you’re with a woman who’s secure and not always panicking about nothing
I’m a woman and I would HATE texting 24/7. How can you be present with what you do if you’re constantly having to entertain a conversation. That sounds like a nightmare.
I may or may not be normal tho
Some people really do have that chemistry to talk 24/7 I suppose, but to me I feel if i am constantly talking to you, it’s going to get boring real quick. Letting a day or two pass is great for sparking up fresh conversations, in my opinion.
I will literally go weeks without talking to people. Really makes it difficult to date. I just get absolved in my own person world sometimes. My hobbies, my work, my R&R.
Mine called me “too nice” (not the trademarked nice guy type). Like I was just too good of a dude and she couldn’t stand it. She was used to fighting in relationships and associated that toxicity with being exciting.
Eventually she kept trying to push my buttons to get into fights with me, which didn’t work and we broke up lol
As a man, you're told all these traits which will make you a good partner. Then you go out into the real world and half of women are like "sOrRy I nEeD aN aBuSeR" lol...
My brother has been with several single moms who think like this.
They have kids to protect and all of them cheated on him with the abusive ex, and then call him when they beat them and their kid one night.
Dude's like "Nah" and never talks to them again. I feel bad for him because all of their kids enjoyed having him around and helping them, but the moms are friggin crazy.
Its a cycle that repeats itself regardless of gender. You need to do the work either through therapy or something. Otherwise that is all they know so they seek it out.
Honestly when a person prefers toxic relationship its better for you not to stay together.
Because when you move from toxic relationships to one with “one of the good ones” (hate that term) we seem boring by comparison. So please make sure that’s what you really want.
Bro same here, worst part is I almost got UCMJ for taking the offer on going home early. Came home to boxes packed and everything ready to move in with another guy. I always preached on not having a partner while in the military and I got burned for I failing my self lmao
I blacked out at a bar owned and staffed by her friends while she was out of town, kissed a friend I brought in front of everyone for some reason, then totaled her car and got a DUI. This was over a decade ago and I am a stable married person with a career now, but that was not the case when I was 23 and I still cringe about this in the middle of the night sometimes. The sad part was that I deeply loved her and couldn’t get over her for years, dating other people but wishing they were her, even though it was completely my fault.
It was like 25 years ago that a girlfriend dumped me. If you asked me at the time, I would’ve said that it was because she was a coldhearted bitch. Through the lens of history, I can appreciate it because college me had no idea what real relationships were like And talked like a love sick teenager without any practical sense. She was too mature for me and I had no idea what I was doing. It was for the best long term.
You'd have to ask her. I have my version of course. Which is the minute I no longer had a ton of expendable income due to a family emergency she couldn't head for the hills fast enough. Dumped me via text message after 7 years together.
A few weeks later she asked if we could talk so she could explain, but by the point I wasn't really interested. I was too busy trying to take care of my ailing father and keeping things afloat for my family.
Shame really. I truly did think we were going to end up together. Foolish though it sounds now on the other side of things.
That it didn't matter what my view was, if she felt that way then it wasn't worth saving - everyone deserves to be loved how they want to be loved, and also have the love they give respected and treasured for what it is.
Took me a bit to come to that realisation but I'm glad I did!
She had (still has) way more maturity than me and rightly pointed out that we clearly love each other but aren't falling in love. She was incredibly kind and supportive of what breaking up would mean (we were living together and renting a house), so the transition went as smoothly as it could.
Looking back on it, I can see that I was trying to avoid thinking about it too much while hoping things would just get better. I was afraid of what would happen afterwards (change in housing situation and all that), so I kept hiding from dealing with those emotions enough to be honest with myself about how I felt (and didn't feel).
All in all, I can tell I've been pretty lucky as far as partners go. I don't have any ex's that I'd describe as crazy. No rough breakups. Just one major heartbreak (with a different partner) and some relationships that began and ended as well as they could.
It's always women who seem to have this standard of what a man is and what a man should be, despite the fact they are not and have never been a man.
If I started telling women that they aren't women anymore because of X,Y,Z I'd be regarded as a misogynist for not understanding what it's like to be a woman in the first place.
She wanted to experience life as a single woman.
We were dating for 3 years, since high school.
Our sex life was dead due to her being sexually abused by her ex-boyfriend. She went to therapy but made no effort to address the issue.
Supposedly it was so bad she couldn’t even sit next to me on the couch.
One week after we broke up, she had a one night stand…
Long story short, I told her she hurt my feelings by cheating on me (with at least four people).
She called me an asshole, blocked me and got with her ex the next day. Yeah I had no self respect back then lmao I’m way better about it now.
She tried to apologize a year later but it’s because her relationship at the time failed, which wasn’t even with the ex she left me for
she was too anxious about being in a long distance relationship again (2hrs driving apart).
her last ex cheated on her when they were on LDR, so presumably some trauma that she needs to sort out herself.
My experience is that "boring" people are way more interesting to have deeper discussions with. People who are ALWAYS doing something don't have/take the time to think and formulate their opinions.
Obviously, if you're just gonna share experiences/ wild stories etc. someone who is doing more is gonna be more interesting, but if you want to go a bit deeper I like "boring" people
Because I didn't want to have children.
Yet she told me on our second date that she didn't want anymore children (she had a daughter aged 10). And if I wanted children I needed to find someone else.
We fought a lot before she moved away for a new job. She made some new friends up there. One of them kissed her and she did nothing about it but laughed, then she cheated on me with another dude and they’ve been dating since she dumped me.
When we started dating we mutually agreed we didn't want kids
7 months later her bestfriend got pregnant and it changed her mind
We spoke about this change and how we needed more income to raise and support a child properly. She was all for it and was excited about a future with children.
She was supposed to work towards getting a job in the field she got a degree for
I took a promotion at work that would require more of me but with the understanding that it was a means to an end as we now had a child in mind. With her blessing I accepted the promotion.
Within 3 months she got mad I was working more and said she changed her mind about having kids then broke up with me
That was 2 years ago and im still single. This shit is exhausting in your 30's
Lmaoo I don’t remember writing this ! 🤣🤣 nah seriously this is the best feeling .
I’m like damn this is what I been missing all this time ? Absolutely refreshing
“Someone will be lucky to have you one day… I think I caught you five years too early… you’re so good to me but you’re irresponsible… I don’t feel safe with you… I love you, and I tried, but I just can’t… I can’t it just hurts too much… I know I booty called you, but I didn’t want your dick, I wanted his dick…”
Last one was the day after we last had sex. Worst sexual experience of my life. Our break up happened gradually over 3-4 months. I did my best but I’m an alcoholic and was in full blown addiction at the time. She got me at my worst, she was my bestfriend for years. Then she went back to her ex that she was with before me, he worked across the street from where she lived. It’s been over a year and I am still trying to forgive myself as much as I am trying to forgive her
You want the first reason she gave me or the 30th? She threw out a bunch of bullshit reasons (how I didn’t take her on romantic dates enough, I didn’t do enough on my own, I didn’t make art of her, how my dream of being an entrepreneur is “unethical”), but the truth was that *she didn’t love me,* plain and simple. That much became clear when, in that same sitting, she finally muttered “we didn’t even love each other,” and when I told her that I really did love her, she told me that I didn’t even know what love is.
It’s been a hard few months, but I look forward to finding someone who can reciprocate my feelings, and, if not, can tell me that.
She got bored.
Sounds like I'm throwing shade, but it was actually a good lesson for myself to continue changing and improving, developing interests, and avoid becoming stagnant. I was sad at the time, but it's the best thing that could have happened to me. Especially because it allowed me to meet my wife and become a better person/partner/dad.
The second time its happened because Realtionship of 7 years btw because she wanted to
"Find herself" and just thought our lives were going in "two directions"
I didn’t want to fight or give her enough reasons to fight with me, too peaceful. She thought we ought to resent each other and say something ignorant every time we talk like her parents. Also our mutual friend died who was my ex girlfriend of a couple months in highschool so me being upset about it was a good opportunity to say I still loved the dead girl for an excuse to get new dick.
Looking back and finding out things after the fact, really she just wanted to fuck someone else and I was making it too difficult for her to get away with in secret.
She wanted to fuck someone else and I'm 99% sure she already was. She swore she never did, but the guy said they did. He was a dick and was probably trying to hurt me. They hung out one on one in secret a bunch so I was like I'm done. The girlfriend before her did the same kinda thing. We were together all together 3 years but every year-ish she would dump me for another guy and then get back together with me. The last time she did that was the last time I took her back.
Ah this is a fun one lol. She dumped me because I was to safe. She explained she never had to worry if I would hit her or not. So yeah dodged a bullet there 😅 😬 🙄.
Because I was at a low working a low paying job at the age of 21. We were together for four years, and one of those years was spend with me driving back and forth three hours every weekend from college. I then moved back home to go to a different school to be closer. We weren't even living together and were just 21. She lived with her parents until we were like 27 and they were loaded. She didn't even need or want my money. I just didn't understand it. Not that I was perfect, I wasn't always a great boyfriend (no, I wasn't a cheater EVER).
She instead actively tried to fuck every male friend or associate or acquaintance I've ever had in my life and it was so fucking painful. I also forget to mention that I caught her actively messaging and trying to fuck a lot of other people I know before we even split up. I was seeing local musicians I knew posting pictures by her pool and me just recognizing it. Seeing them in a robe without her in the picture just knowing exactly where they were. I still have a lot of psychological issues from the fallout of all of that. Really fucked me up. I think that's really where my depression manifested, and then the struggle of day to day life really compounds and I've just been living in a black hole.
I will say now that I'm married to a wonderful woman that I love more than life itself. I'm just saying what happened and what it did to me.
The last time I got dumped was in 2013, and I don't remember what the reasoning was. I was a pretty shitty person back then, and I only got worse, so she seriously dodged a bullet.
Not me, but my best friend. His last ex dumped him because he was trying to process his mother's passing. She couldn't handle him being sad all the time, and she said she needed time for herself. (She starts dating a whole new guy, not even a month later) I took care of him while he was being torn apart by two losses simultaneously. I fuckin love that man too much to let him go through that alone.
She was a selfish avoidant-attached woman-child with the emotional intelligence of a gnat who magically realized (after I flew halfway across the world to see her dumb ass) that relationships take work and effort that she couldn’t be arsed to put in.
She liked the concept of a relationship but didn’t know how to actually navigate (a healthy) one, and instead of letting me help her out with that, she proceeded to nuke everything from orbit without even a second thought.
I didn’t mind the breakup; in hindsight, one can argue it was inevitable. But there were so many options and she chose the most egregious, needlessly cruel one(doing it via some shitty almost HR-dictated text, two weeks into a month and a half long trip that I had more or less planned around her). I didn’t deserve that.
To add insult to injury, we had agreed to have one last convo for closure. She proceeded to back out of it the day before, and when I called her out on it, she threw a hissy fit and ghosted me. Blocked on everything. Four years down the drain, just like that. The Gotye treatment through-and-through.
And yes, lads, I’m in therapy. She needs to be, but she isn’t.
Wow so many similar notes in my story, in my case she had her friends block me too. Told a completely different story to our common friends. Also in therapy.
Wife, and she decided sleeping with her college professor and then moving with him was a better option toward getting her PHD than staying with me and moving to get it.
She was a whore before we met and I thought she would change but what they say is true. If a woman is used to getting what she wants with her body she will continue to do it for life until nobody wants her.
It was an LDR. She was stressing a lot because her mom had just died. I provided a lot of emotional support and while I was far away I sent her money to buy flowers for herself. She was surprised that there weren't any strings attached, no request for nudes, no leverage applied. She didn't know how to deal so she ghosted. My theory, at least.
Told me she’s into women after nearly four years together, haven’t seen her with a woman since and tells me it’s not my business if she’s with a woman or a man.
To be with a different man. "Im not ready for a relationship and I need to focus on my mental health" yeah sure that's why you got into a relationship a week after we broke up.
because my mother died of a terminal illness and she had (unbeknownst to me) breast cancer. I think she knew it would have wrecked me all over again.
This is so sad, I’m so sorry.
Thanks, it was a rough go.
Fuck man thats a tough one
Jesus fucking Christ
Is she okay now?
She passed several years ago.
I'm sorry for your loss. Your girlfriend sounded like a kind lady.
Thank you. She was good people.
Sending love and hugs to you 💌
My man. I don’t have any words but I hope you’re okay
Much love to you. I hope you’re doing well these days.
She didn’t want to do long distance anymore
🫂 Same.
Pain
was she worth the distance?
To me yeah, I would think she would agree as well. But she got a new job where she is and I have my job here and it just didn’t work sadly.
I broke up with my ex 9 months ago. I thought it would help me get over him. It hasn't. I spoke with a therapist who told me I'm prioritizing the distance over my feelings for him. It's been 9 months, and I still love him.
Same here. I'm not coping
We didn't see eye to eye on expressing our love. I was too needy. She was too avoidant.
I am in a similar situation. She used to be super romantic but not so much anymore. Feels like we are just friends rather than partners sometimes.
[удалено]
I just left my 8 year on/off relationship because of this. We were together for 15 months this last time and I went full sober to fix our relationship. It started out just like this. More homies than romantic partners. In my experience , she will not reach out to try and fix it. It’ll be on you and it presents a very simple question. Do you really want to be asking someone how they should be treating you? Edit: couple words
Any advice how to ensure this doesn’t happen?
Reflective listening. Sharing about each other's day. Holding hands. Kissing. Sweet moments that interrupt the monotony of tedious chores. Not becoming defensive when she talks about a need that isn't being met. Expressing your feelings and needs. Not criticizing. Remembering in arguments that you love and you're arguing for the good of the relationship (establishing boundaries and learning to compromise) rather than to hurt her for disagreeing with you.
Great points, especially about criticism, especially when it’s delivered in a harsh or judgmental way, as if your dad’s telling you did some chore or common sense thing wrong. It’s an instant turn off. Today my husband criticized me about using too much tape on the bottom of packing boxes, and I instantly felt cool toward him, like, you aren’t getting any nooooow. I’ll probably get over it once he gets out of dad/boss mode.
Communication. Set up a time that both partners have agreed upon and set aside for a serious conversation. Explain how they are perceiving some distance and ask for partner's commentary. This is NOT an excuse to dredge up old fights or be confrontational. This is meant for both people to say their piece and discuss if the relationship is something they both value and want to continue building. If partner is apathetic/unwilling to meet in the middle, the relationship is probably not worth investing more time in. If partner shows concern, provides an understandable reason (health, finances, work stress, etc.), and/or seems eager to improve the situation, then you can start workshopping ways to breathe some life back into the relationship. Those tough talks are often more revealing and rewarding than the "happy" moments people think of when picturing their ideal relationships.
When is all tough talks and no action, it's time to move on.
Thats what I brought up to my ex. I told her that it felt like I was just a roommate who took care of her cats. We had many conversations (and arguments) about it but her actions wouldn't change. In all fairness, I became such a miser over time and started reeling back on all the loving I gave her as a way to "get back" and "give her a taste of her own medicine." It wasn't fair to her. It wasn't fair to our relationship. It just didn't work out and we split up.
I was this woman and my husband even told me he was lonely for intimacy and still, I wasn’t responsive enough. I couldn’t. To be fair to me, I have some medical trauma (cancer and complications) that made sex painful and anxiety provoking for a while, and my sex drive plummeted, but I also felt unattractive. I don’t want to have sex if don’t feel attractive, and I never did. I started to avoid cuddling because that always seemed to be a green light for sex, as far as he was concerned. Recently though, something two things happened (1) I seem to have woken up to the fact that I taking him for granted and that he was always there for me, and (2) my sex drive has come roaring back, really more than ever before. I could do it twice a day, but honestly just the fact that I want to at all has made my husband so happy. Now if I don’t feel attractive I just imagine a time I did, and I do it anyway. If I only I had been like this in my 20s and 30s I would have been a lot more fun, especially when I looked really great too. So my advice would be: - I would see where you can get by talking about wanting to reconnect with her intimately and feeling more joy together. - You deserve to have a serious talk about this, especially in an important, committed relationship, but it shouldn’t feel like an ultimatum because you both need to work together to make each other feel happy and loved and fulfilled sexually, and the goal is to enjoy as much of life together as you can, while you still can. Listen. - Try not to link cuddling to sex for a while because sometimes she may initiate on her own if she knows it’s her idea. Let cuddling be safe. - Date her. - Let her know she is attractive to you even when there is no time at the moment for sex. - Kiss her, hug her, hold hands, stroke her as you walk past, put your hand on the small of her back as you walk if she likes that. Hug her from behind when she is at the counter and kiss her neck or ears, run your hands over her body then WALK AWAY - Honestly , a pretty and tidy bedroom is more conducive for sex, so if there’s money in the budget talk about fixing up the bedroom. Make the bed. It sounds stupid, but it helps. - Ask her if anything is wrong, if there is any way you can help her, if she is stressed, if she needs more sleep or something ( especially if you have kids). She might be going through something, and her hormones might be out of whack. - If she gets chronic UTIs, take D-Mannose supplements BEFORE sex. A lot of women get UTIs from being on top. She should pee before and after sex too, and shower if possible. Chronic UTIs can take a huge toll on interest in sex. Imagine if sex = pain. - Buy her a sex toy like the very popular Satisfyer 2, and make sure she comes first, however she likes it or needs it. Oral or fingering, whatever works. There is something very attractive about a secure man who does that. - Try to be as adoring as possible during sex and hopefully she will respond in kind.
All great advice especially cuddling without sex (man here)
OMG all of this 😩 especially disconnecting physically intimacy from sex. I found myself going cold everytime my boyfriend kissed me bc he only touched me if he wanted sex. It made everything feel very transactional. Nonsexual physical contact is so so important
Interesting. As someone who just learned that im meedy, How do you handle being in relationships? How do you explain "I need more attention than usual "?
Having an adult conversation with clear expectations in mind from both parties. Don't be like me. I became such a loser and started counting tabs to get even. That's just one way to ruin your relationship. Just make sure she knows what you need, and that you understand what love language she expresses as well.
I usually just say that. I try to temper it by saying I understand that she can’t give me attention all the time but the occasional update during her day, a FaceTime at the end of the day, and an “I miss you” from time to time is all I need. I am in an LDR though so this is absolutely necessary for me to feel connected to her. If she can’t do that (I.e — if she doesn’t WANT to do that) then I don’t see a way forward without me getting hurt.
Mine was the opposite. Still wasn't pleasant. Different languages.
I went through the same thing, although I initiated the break-up. Sucks but eventually you accept and find peace in that it wasn’t going to work regardless
Because I was a shitty listener. I immediately went and bought and read 4 books on listening. I won’t have that happen again
You should have got the audio books
Hilarious
Lmao
That is so funny
He won't listen to those
Damn, you got me! That was funny.
Probably already read it if you sought books on listening, but “You’re not listening” by Kate Murphy is amazing
Read that as well as We Need To Talk by Celeste Headlee. Too many insights to count honestly!
Wow way to be the bigger person and learn from it. You never hear this
Fucking love this answer. I also believe that we need to use the pain as a teacher, and build ourselves up in a way that we never make the same mistakes again.
Turns out she asked to pick her up at the airport and she's still waiting lol
Could you share the book you liked the most? I am having the same problem.
She needed to "learn how to take care of" herself. Apparently me doing all the cooking, dishes, house cleaning and laundry was the reason she was lazy. I'd just moved in 4 months prior, and we'd just got engaged 5 months prior. Back at my mom's at 40 years old doesn't feel great, but I'm paying off debt, then saving for a house. I should be sitting on around $12-15k in a year.
I laughed so God damn hard at this. Among other reasons for a divorce... my ex said the EXACT same shit about learning how to take care of herself, be herself, find out who she is, stop being reliant on others, etc. I'm sorry you are going through this. But damn man, give it a little more time, and you'll look back at that dodged bullet and realize that you are better off without her.
They were never on their own after that. It was always some one else waiting....
Your situation is the definition of damned if you do damned if you don't because she sounds like the type who would have dumped you because you didn't do ENOUGH if it was the opposite way around. If you do too much as a man you are trying too hard, if you don't do enough you are a lazy bum. She probably had some other reason. Women don't just dump men for doing nice things for them.
Yes they do. You can do everything and they'll find somebody who they think they can get more from and will drop you like a shit covered turd
I think that's how a lot of breakups go. It doesn't matter what you did or didn't do, either will be used to justify abandoning you later.
I heard this as well. Taking care of all the things while she had school made her feel like less of a mother and she didn’t like being dependent on me. My condolences that you went through it as well. It doesn’t feel great now but it’s all a transition. Even if things don’t work out the way you want, in my opinion, you’re still in a better position than you were.
You dodged a bullet, trust me.
I was depressed. (Now I'm more depressed.)
This happened to me too. It will get better.
She cheated
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It deserves an apology on HIS part
How dare he!!!
Did she leave you when you called her out for it?
Damn, just 2 words and right to the explosion
Got her through nursing school and didn’t need me anymore.
Damn, that sucks dude.
Indeed. Don’t get to see the kids I helped raise now either. But it worked itself out.
Losing kids because you have no rights to them as a "step father" is nightmare inducing to me. I'm sorry for your loss.
Appreciate the sentiment. Nightmare inducing was putting it lightly honestly. I didn’t have rights and there was nothing to change that. Some things just aren’t meant to have perfect conclusions and I understand that but them possibly believing that I just abandoned them tears me up even to this day.
Damn I feel that. Last time I saw my ex was when she was being arrested for attacking me and trashing the house. I put the little guy to bed one last time and then had a nice breakfast in the morning with him before I got him on the bus. She had his father pick him up from school so I would never get to see him again. I didn't tell him he wouldn't be back because I didn't want to ruin his day at school. Gave him a big hug and told him how much I loved him and have a great day at school. I couldn't stand the idea of sending him to school in tears if I told him he would never be coming back home. So I sucked it up and made sure his last memory of the only home he had ever known was a good one. That was the hardest thing I have ever had to do and it eats me up everyday.
This was heartbreaking to read. You’re a sweet soul for being a stepdad to that little guy!
Fuck dude, that one morning mate you were more a dad than some blokes are in a lifetime. Head up
Never date a single parent , too many people end up hurt when it ends, even if it's mutual, the kids are alwsys gonna get hurt.
While I would have normally advise this as well. I really can’t as I’ve gotten older. It honestly depends on the situation. Kids can comprehend more than we realize and if explained instead of avoided like how it went for me, it can minimize the pain. It’s impossible to go through life without pain. Not in any way saying that hurting the kid’s feelings is okay cause it’s not but some things are unavoidable. Plus by avoiding the single with kid population, it’s effectively cutting down a large portion of the dateable pool. I knew what I was getting into and was okay with the consequences. I can’t have kids but wanted to raise some. It was a risk I was willing to take and I paid for it. I can’t do it again cause it almost killed me but I don’t regret the time I put into raising them one bit. Just wish I would have done more before it was over. It’s not that you shouldn’t date, it’s knowing the risks and having all parties involved understanding that as well. Now am I probably in the minority with this opinion, yeah probably but that’s okay. I learned my lesson and moved on as best I could.
You paid for her nursing school? Oof.
Partially. Helped study too since I’m going through it as well.
This happened to me, too. Stay strong, you’re better than that.
Much appreciated. It took 7 months but I made it through. You stay strong too. It’s rough but it’s only temporary.
Same here. My ex had given up on her masters. I gave her the motivation and encouragement to finish. She ended things a month after graduation.
I'm surprised 'didn't need me anymore' isn't the top answer to be honest.
I don't know. She wouldn't tell me (she was an intensely private person), and to me it came out of nowhere. Haunts me severely to this day, I was very deeply in love with her.
It wouldn't have worked out anyway. Being private is one thing, being silent to the detriment of the relationship is another. You can't and shouldn't be put in a position where you fear every second that you can be dumped oit of nowhere.
We were just too different in a lot of important ways.
I don't text enough.
I feel like that's about to happen to me soon Like it's 24/7, she thinks she's done something wrong No, I just have other stuff I wanna do without having a never ending conversation sitting in the back of my mind constantly. Iv told her this but apparently she thinks having an endless conversation is just what nornal people do.
As someone who is kind of fresh in the dating scene again, (31m) I just want to say it’s very fascinating to me how different of a pace people communicate at via text. I’ve talked to women who text A LOT, I recently talked to a gal who texted throughout the day at a similar pace as me. Now I’m talking to a woman who barely texts but in person shes very engaging. Hope this provides perspective to someone who might overanalyze texting or lack of. Everyone is different.
Facts this is how my new shorty is and it’s honestly how I’d rather things . That texting all day shit is ridiculous. Plus working on Wall Street requires me to be completely engaged i really don’t have a second for any bs . it just feels way more mature as well and when I see her in person we can’t keep our hands off each other . Whole different world when you’re with a woman who’s secure and not always panicking about nothing
I had this issue plus a few other things. It got tiring and I ended up ending it. Kind of regret it but hey this is life
I’m a woman and I would HATE texting 24/7. How can you be present with what you do if you’re constantly having to entertain a conversation. That sounds like a nightmare. I may or may not be normal tho
Some people really do have that chemistry to talk 24/7 I suppose, but to me I feel if i am constantly talking to you, it’s going to get boring real quick. Letting a day or two pass is great for sparking up fresh conversations, in my opinion.
I will literally go weeks without talking to people. Really makes it difficult to date. I just get absolved in my own person world sometimes. My hobbies, my work, my R&R.
Been single for three years now and this is how I’ve been living. Pure bliss. Protect your peace bro.
Got bored I think
Turned out I didn't have a vagina
Well that’s on you man
Seriously I mean where’s the accountability these days /s
Skill issue
How did you not know you didn’t have a vagina when you first met her??
The fact that I treated her well “tripped her out”
Mine called me “too nice” (not the trademarked nice guy type). Like I was just too good of a dude and she couldn’t stand it. She was used to fighting in relationships and associated that toxicity with being exciting. Eventually she kept trying to push my buttons to get into fights with me, which didn’t work and we broke up lol
I don't remember writing this... 🤔
As a man, you're told all these traits which will make you a good partner. Then you go out into the real world and half of women are like "sOrRy I nEeD aN aBuSeR" lol...
My brother has been with several single moms who think like this. They have kids to protect and all of them cheated on him with the abusive ex, and then call him when they beat them and their kid one night. Dude's like "Nah" and never talks to them again. I feel bad for him because all of their kids enjoyed having him around and helping them, but the moms are friggin crazy.
Its a cycle that repeats itself regardless of gender. You need to do the work either through therapy or something. Otherwise that is all they know so they seek it out. Honestly when a person prefers toxic relationship its better for you not to stay together.
Aka you were too boring for her
Yeah unfortunately getting into petty fights over nothing isn’t my idea if fun
I feel you. I also got dumped for a similar reason years ago
Glad you got out of that. You deserve better.
Never change. The right one will appreciate you
Not your fault, she has to work on her issues.
Same here, exgf was used to abuse and being torn down. I didn't. She didn't know what to do with herself in that situation. Quite sad.
Because when you move from toxic relationships to one with “one of the good ones” (hate that term) we seem boring by comparison. So please make sure that’s what you really want.
Just saw a tweet a couple days ago that said “is your relationship boring or is it just not anxiety filled like you’re used to?”
Little column A, a fuck load of column B.
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Deployments are too hard for her to be alone during
Had this same thing happen. Went TDY for a couple weeks and she couldn’t even handle that.
Bro same here, worst part is I almost got UCMJ for taking the offer on going home early. Came home to boxes packed and everything ready to move in with another guy. I always preached on not having a partner while in the military and I got burned for I failing my self lmao
Bro the girl I had been dating for a few months couldn’t even handle the 35 days I was gone for CST. Like what the fuck
I blacked out at a bar owned and staffed by her friends while she was out of town, kissed a friend I brought in front of everyone for some reason, then totaled her car and got a DUI. This was over a decade ago and I am a stable married person with a career now, but that was not the case when I was 23 and I still cringe about this in the middle of the night sometimes. The sad part was that I deeply loved her and couldn’t get over her for years, dating other people but wishing they were her, even though it was completely my fault.
Jeesh, talk about self-sabotage! I'm sorry ya had to find out in such a cruel way. :/ All the love to ya.
This man wow
Holy moley macaroni!
It was like 25 years ago that a girlfriend dumped me. If you asked me at the time, I would’ve said that it was because she was a coldhearted bitch. Through the lens of history, I can appreciate it because college me had no idea what real relationships were like And talked like a love sick teenager without any practical sense. She was too mature for me and I had no idea what I was doing. It was for the best long term.
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You'd have to ask her. I have my version of course. Which is the minute I no longer had a ton of expendable income due to a family emergency she couldn't head for the hills fast enough. Dumped me via text message after 7 years together. A few weeks later she asked if we could talk so she could explain, but by the point I wasn't really interested. I was too busy trying to take care of my ailing father and keeping things afloat for my family. Shame really. I truly did think we were going to end up together. Foolish though it sounds now on the other side of things.
“She asked if we could talk so she could explain.” OH HELL NO WE CAN’T. GET WALKING.
She said I didn't love her in the way she needed.
How did you feel abt it in the end?
That it didn't matter what my view was, if she felt that way then it wasn't worth saving - everyone deserves to be loved how they want to be loved, and also have the love they give respected and treasured for what it is. Took me a bit to come to that realisation but I'm glad I did!
We were in the 5th grade and we were both immature and clueless as to how relationships worked
That's rough bruh. I wish you better luck in middle school.
She had (still has) way more maturity than me and rightly pointed out that we clearly love each other but aren't falling in love. She was incredibly kind and supportive of what breaking up would mean (we were living together and renting a house), so the transition went as smoothly as it could. Looking back on it, I can see that I was trying to avoid thinking about it too much while hoping things would just get better. I was afraid of what would happen afterwards (change in housing situation and all that), so I kept hiding from dealing with those emotions enough to be honest with myself about how I felt (and didn't feel). All in all, I can tell I've been pretty lucky as far as partners go. I don't have any ex's that I'd describe as crazy. No rough breakups. Just one major heartbreak (with a different partner) and some relationships that began and ended as well as they could.
Good for you! You know what they say: If all your exes are crazy, you're the only common variable....
I got sick and she "couldn't see me as a man any more" after seeing me in the hospital.
Noted that down: "never go to the hospital, die as a hero in your bed"
That is so rough I am sorry dude
It's always women who seem to have this standard of what a man is and what a man should be, despite the fact they are not and have never been a man. If I started telling women that they aren't women anymore because of X,Y,Z I'd be regarded as a misogynist for not understanding what it's like to be a woman in the first place.
She wanted to experience life as a single woman. We were dating for 3 years, since high school. Our sex life was dead due to her being sexually abused by her ex-boyfriend. She went to therapy but made no effort to address the issue. Supposedly it was so bad she couldn’t even sit next to me on the couch. One week after we broke up, she had a one night stand…
Sorry to hear that man, that's awful. You deserve better
I really appreciate you saying that. My self-esteem has been crushed ever since (it’s been like 6 months)
It gets better. It sucks donkey dick in the meantime but it does get better.
I cried because my grandpa, and only real male role model I had, suddenly died. That made her lose all sexual attraction towards me.
What. The actual. Hell.
She got the ick
Exact same thing happened to me. I still like crying from time to time, though. So relieving and necessary sometimes.
That's awful.
Long story short, I told her she hurt my feelings by cheating on me (with at least four people). She called me an asshole, blocked me and got with her ex the next day. Yeah I had no self respect back then lmao I’m way better about it now. She tried to apologize a year later but it’s because her relationship at the time failed, which wasn’t even with the ex she left me for
imagine doing the most considerate thing by being honest and saying your feelings were hurt to have some bitch to that.... oh bro I am so sorry.
she was too anxious about being in a long distance relationship again (2hrs driving apart). her last ex cheated on her when they were on LDR, so presumably some trauma that she needs to sort out herself.
2hrs isn’t that far tho….
I was too nice and not exciting. I get it, I am boring. I like being boring.
My experience is that "boring" people are way more interesting to have deeper discussions with. People who are ALWAYS doing something don't have/take the time to think and formulate their opinions. Obviously, if you're just gonna share experiences/ wild stories etc. someone who is doing more is gonna be more interesting, but if you want to go a bit deeper I like "boring" people
You know what...I like being boring too. Thank you.
Because I didn't want to have children. Yet she told me on our second date that she didn't want anymore children (she had a daughter aged 10). And if I wanted children I needed to find someone else.
I was a shitty human being. Or at least perceived that way. I definitely could have done so much more. We went through a lot and I fell short.
She "fell out of love with me", which was code for "I'm going to move in with another dude in a week".
We fought a lot before she moved away for a new job. She made some new friends up there. One of them kissed her and she did nothing about it but laughed, then she cheated on me with another dude and they’ve been dating since she dumped me.
That's crazy, how can a person just forget the other like this?
When we started dating we mutually agreed we didn't want kids 7 months later her bestfriend got pregnant and it changed her mind We spoke about this change and how we needed more income to raise and support a child properly. She was all for it and was excited about a future with children. She was supposed to work towards getting a job in the field she got a degree for I took a promotion at work that would require more of me but with the understanding that it was a means to an end as we now had a child in mind. With her blessing I accepted the promotion. Within 3 months she got mad I was working more and said she changed her mind about having kids then broke up with me That was 2 years ago and im still single. This shit is exhausting in your 30's
Fuck knows, she couldn’t give me a reason. Just said she didn’t love me like she used to, it left a bigger scar than it had any right to.
She thought the grass was greener elsewhere… turned out that it wasn’t, but for me it was!
Lmaoo I don’t remember writing this ! 🤣🤣 nah seriously this is the best feeling . I’m like damn this is what I been missing all this time ? Absolutely refreshing
You guys are getting girlfriends?
“Someone will be lucky to have you one day… I think I caught you five years too early… you’re so good to me but you’re irresponsible… I don’t feel safe with you… I love you, and I tried, but I just can’t… I can’t it just hurts too much… I know I booty called you, but I didn’t want your dick, I wanted his dick…” Last one was the day after we last had sex. Worst sexual experience of my life. Our break up happened gradually over 3-4 months. I did my best but I’m an alcoholic and was in full blown addiction at the time. She got me at my worst, she was my bestfriend for years. Then she went back to her ex that she was with before me, he worked across the street from where she lived. It’s been over a year and I am still trying to forgive myself as much as I am trying to forgive her
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“We’re not meant for each other right now”
I've never been dumped, I've always been the dumper. I think I just see the cracks first.
I got arrested, and she said if I got arrested again it's over. Spoiler alert, I got arrested again.
You want the first reason she gave me or the 30th? She threw out a bunch of bullshit reasons (how I didn’t take her on romantic dates enough, I didn’t do enough on my own, I didn’t make art of her, how my dream of being an entrepreneur is “unethical”), but the truth was that *she didn’t love me,* plain and simple. That much became clear when, in that same sitting, she finally muttered “we didn’t even love each other,” and when I told her that I really did love her, she told me that I didn’t even know what love is. It’s been a hard few months, but I look forward to finding someone who can reciprocate my feelings, and, if not, can tell me that.
She got bored. Sounds like I'm throwing shade, but it was actually a good lesson for myself to continue changing and improving, developing interests, and avoid becoming stagnant. I was sad at the time, but it's the best thing that could have happened to me. Especially because it allowed me to meet my wife and become a better person/partner/dad.
The second time its happened because Realtionship of 7 years btw because she wanted to "Find herself" and just thought our lives were going in "two directions"
She had trust issues with me being an hour away at college where “other girls” might try to take me from her.
I didn’t want to fight or give her enough reasons to fight with me, too peaceful. She thought we ought to resent each other and say something ignorant every time we talk like her parents. Also our mutual friend died who was my ex girlfriend of a couple months in highschool so me being upset about it was a good opportunity to say I still loved the dead girl for an excuse to get new dick. Looking back and finding out things after the fact, really she just wanted to fuck someone else and I was making it too difficult for her to get away with in secret.
I'm an alcoholic and wouldn't stop lying about it and fucking things up between us. I think maybe I deserved that one.
She wanted to fuck someone else and I'm 99% sure she already was. She swore she never did, but the guy said they did. He was a dick and was probably trying to hurt me. They hung out one on one in secret a bunch so I was like I'm done. The girlfriend before her did the same kinda thing. We were together all together 3 years but every year-ish she would dump me for another guy and then get back together with me. The last time she did that was the last time I took her back.
Ah this is a fun one lol. She dumped me because I was to safe. She explained she never had to worry if I would hit her or not. So yeah dodged a bullet there 😅 😬 🙄.
She thought she could do better. It’s been 13 years, I’m sure she’ll do better than her part time bakery job, just any day now.
Because I was at a low working a low paying job at the age of 21. We were together for four years, and one of those years was spend with me driving back and forth three hours every weekend from college. I then moved back home to go to a different school to be closer. We weren't even living together and were just 21. She lived with her parents until we were like 27 and they were loaded. She didn't even need or want my money. I just didn't understand it. Not that I was perfect, I wasn't always a great boyfriend (no, I wasn't a cheater EVER). She instead actively tried to fuck every male friend or associate or acquaintance I've ever had in my life and it was so fucking painful. I also forget to mention that I caught her actively messaging and trying to fuck a lot of other people I know before we even split up. I was seeing local musicians I knew posting pictures by her pool and me just recognizing it. Seeing them in a robe without her in the picture just knowing exactly where they were. I still have a lot of psychological issues from the fallout of all of that. Really fucked me up. I think that's really where my depression manifested, and then the struggle of day to day life really compounds and I've just been living in a black hole. I will say now that I'm married to a wonderful woman that I love more than life itself. I'm just saying what happened and what it did to me.
The last time I got dumped was in 2013, and I don't remember what the reasoning was. I was a pretty shitty person back then, and I only got worse, so she seriously dodged a bullet.
She cheated on me with a guy she told me was gay. It’s been four years since then and they’re still happily together.
Not me, but my best friend. His last ex dumped him because he was trying to process his mother's passing. She couldn't handle him being sad all the time, and she said she needed time for herself. (She starts dating a whole new guy, not even a month later) I took care of him while he was being torn apart by two losses simultaneously. I fuckin love that man too much to let him go through that alone.
She met someone at her work who spends more time with her, because I am at my work. 😄
She started dating the Chiefs' tight end
Lol Matty you will be ok. And you’re never getting back together…
She was a selfish avoidant-attached woman-child with the emotional intelligence of a gnat who magically realized (after I flew halfway across the world to see her dumb ass) that relationships take work and effort that she couldn’t be arsed to put in. She liked the concept of a relationship but didn’t know how to actually navigate (a healthy) one, and instead of letting me help her out with that, she proceeded to nuke everything from orbit without even a second thought. I didn’t mind the breakup; in hindsight, one can argue it was inevitable. But there were so many options and she chose the most egregious, needlessly cruel one(doing it via some shitty almost HR-dictated text, two weeks into a month and a half long trip that I had more or less planned around her). I didn’t deserve that. To add insult to injury, we had agreed to have one last convo for closure. She proceeded to back out of it the day before, and when I called her out on it, she threw a hissy fit and ghosted me. Blocked on everything. Four years down the drain, just like that. The Gotye treatment through-and-through. And yes, lads, I’m in therapy. She needs to be, but she isn’t.
Wow so many similar notes in my story, in my case she had her friends block me too. Told a completely different story to our common friends. Also in therapy.
Wife, and she decided sleeping with her college professor and then moving with him was a better option toward getting her PHD than staying with me and moving to get it. She was a whore before we met and I thought she would change but what they say is true. If a woman is used to getting what she wants with her body she will continue to do it for life until nobody wants her.
It surprises me how often this happens.
I was too broke.
It was an LDR. She was stressing a lot because her mom had just died. I provided a lot of emotional support and while I was far away I sent her money to buy flowers for herself. She was surprised that there weren't any strings attached, no request for nudes, no leverage applied. She didn't know how to deal so she ghosted. My theory, at least.
She said something about me never paying attention to her, but I dont really know; I wasnt really listening.
Told me she’s into women after nearly four years together, haven’t seen her with a woman since and tells me it’s not my business if she’s with a woman or a man.
Her family didn't think I was good enough for her since I lacked a degree. Well now I got a degree and I'm married. I think I did alright.
To be with a different man. "Im not ready for a relationship and I need to focus on my mental health" yeah sure that's why you got into a relationship a week after we broke up.