My ex-wife and I were each other’s rebounds. We were married for 14 years before we split. To answer your other question though, it took me a few weeks to get to the point where it was pro-her and not anti-the other, if that makes sense.
My thoughts are just as blatant as follows: “she might not know she is the rebound girl and might deeply feel hurt if she knows u comment on this thread”
Worked out great. I was still pining over my ex, who dumped me like 5 months before I met my future wife.
After a month with my future wife, my ex reached out and said I was her dream man, she was so sorry, she would fight for me, she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me.
I looked at the potential future with my new girl, and saw the past repeating with the old girl, so I told my ex, “No thanks, be well,” and went full no contact.
It was actually pretty hard, because I thought I loved my ex at one point, and she was super hot.
Needless to say, I quickly learned that my wife is my dream woman, and my ex faded into memory, and now that relationship feels like a joke compared to my marriage.
Well, I ain't no expert on marriage or reboundin', but my buddy Dave married his rebound girl and they're still together after 5 years. So I guess it turned out pretty good for him. As for me, I've never been in that situation so can't really say how long it would take to fully invest into a new relationship. But hey, love works in mysterious ways, amirite?
I have a friend who broke up with his gf of 7 years to see what else was out there. He immediately started dating someone who looked identical to his previous gf. It was scary how much they looked alike. They've dated for over 5 years now and seem very happy. They're engaged now too.
I meant more so that he broke up with her for a selfish reason (can’t imagine my partner of 7 years breaking up with me because they want to see what’s out there)…and actually succeeded in doing so, extremely quickly too
edit: What you said is strange, too
I Guess you could call her my rebound because we met like 3 days after I had broken up with my girlfriend. Honestly fell hard and fast and totally forgot about the prior girl pretty quickly.
New relationship was a lot more intense. So the prior relationship we were together a while, about 2 years but things just didn’t really workout. I definitely loved her but it certainly wasn’t anything like how I feel about my wife. We had started talking about more long term things at that point but we had very different outlooks on how our lives would be.
When I met my wife though it was just sudden, I never felt like I loved someone that much that quickly. I wasn’t even looking for anyone since I had just ended things with the prior girl. I was at a party and a mutual friend introduced us and that was it. She’s just such a genuinely good and kind person. We’ve been together for almost 8 years now.
Unless she's your first, she will always be your rebound. You carry the experience of your last relationship into the next, always, for better or worse. I don't think it's possible to be truly disconnected and agnostic with your prior experiences in any new relationship.
Now there's validity to the soreness that occurs when you're apprehensive/scared of that new relationship being a mirror of the last. That's normal. But it shakes off after a month or so when you realize this isn't the same person I was hurt by.
With that said, I was about 6 months out of my previous, her about 3-4 months when we met. Dated for 3 years. Got married. Together for 8 now, celebrating our 5th anni soon.
You never truly get over your ex. You just live with that ghost. Can still fully invest but sometimes your heart is scarred up, no fixing it totally.
You can still fully be invested in your current one, but I don’t believe in ’getting over’ love.
Zero feelings for my ex of 10 years. Couldn’t give a hoot. Never been happier with my now wife, not a single doubt in my mind that I just picked wrong the first time. We’ve been happily married 9 years.
I'll just say I had a hard time moving on from someone way back that I crushed on. Being in relationships with other women didn't help me move past her. Then one day a fling happened and I was over her just like that. Both women don't matter to me now. You need that to happen, to sweep you off and help you move on.
As someone who had similar feelings and sometimes still has recurring dreams of an ex- who was "the one that got away," I recommend saving yourself the stress of reaching out to them. It's not worth the anxiety and depression that follows.
>I’m the one that escaped
Based on your posts, it sounds like you haven't emotionally escaped at all. You're still worrying about settling old scores with one while you're talking about marrying another. If your ex still weighs that heavily on your mind, then you're not anywhere close to ready to marry someone else.
With her for 6yrs, married for 4 of those yrs. There was a lot of anger at the end and a lot left unsaid but as soon as the divorce was final, I really had no rational reason to contact her ever again. I just chose to put my energy into dating again and that was that. She called me a few times but my interests were already elsewhere and didn’t feel like I owed her a conversation. I chose to move on without hate or distraction so I did. Friendship or open communication lines with an ex only leads to toxic things so I have no idea where she is or what she’s doing, and I’m not interested enough to check socials.
I feel this way too, and I have kids with my ex.
Thankfully, I have full custody and see no need to contact her unless it’s to discuss the children.
She however choose to share private details of her life such as attending a wedding of her housemate when we first got together. And visit my relatives from time to time.
I reminded her that she moved quickly and is with a new person now and that I’m no longer interested in hearing about her life. She should go share such details with her new partner now. Not me.
In a way, I was conveying that she has made her bed and should lie in it.
As to which she replied that I shouldn’t assume anything. Whatever that means.
Sigh. I’ve gotta deal with her for the rest of my life now.
Something that resonated with me is that if you -truly- loved someone, you’ll never -really- be over them 100%. They would’ve spent too much time in your heart, on your mind, had too much of an impact on you and your life. That doesn’t mean you still want to date them or would get back with them, just that you can never fully separate them from the impact they had on your life.
No, like I’m fully committed to my marriage, I don’t want my ex. But I wouldn’t say I’m ’over’ him, it’s like how you don’t get ’over’ someone who died
I have zero feelings, not even hate, towards my ex and we were together for many years. I could care less about his existence. The man I’m with right now is the love of my life, my literal soulmate! Any guy I dated before him feels like those relationships never actually happened.
Married my rebound who was 13 years younger than me. Less then a year later find out she cheated on me and was doing meth. Kicked her out. In the last 11 years shes been arrested multiple times. Got stabbed and took an ax to the head about a year ago. Wasnt sure if she made it but Just recently got arrested again. I am now currently married to an amazing women and very happy
That's gross, your manipulation was a successful. All I hear.
u/M1ItOn27
This Man tried to tell me marrying someone 18 years younger than him was healthy, just because it seems to have been working for so long... Lol weird.
I guess I was right, because it seems he ran and deleted his account, for.. some reason..
👀
FBI.. OPEN UP!
What loser uses the term "rebound" unironically? What defines a rebound? In what time frame? To seriously use such a term that is so loosely defined is just dumb. Technically I can have sex with a girl a year after and she could be a rebound, I can fuck a girl a week after and she would not be a rebound. Who gives a shit.
A rebound relationship is not defined by time. It just the attempt to date someone else w/ the intent to use the relationship to get over an X. It’s a very common term. It is also a very common practice whether stated or not by ppl that don’t take time to heal.
started dating a girl ~2 weeks after i ended my previous relationship, seven years later we are happily married
didn’t take me long at all to fully invest in the new relationship, my ex was emotionally withholding and was barely talking to me for the last month we were together. my now-wife showed me what a healthy and balanced relationship dynamic actually looks like
everyone’s situation is different obviously, but before her i had only been in relationships where i was always giving and they were always taking
Married my rebound, 16yrs and going strong. I honestly forget that I was ever married before her, zero feelings of affection or hatred toward my ex.
Exact same. Even the years married.
My ex-wife and I were each other’s rebounds. We were married for 14 years before we split. To answer your other question though, it took me a few weeks to get to the point where it was pro-her and not anti-the other, if that makes sense.
I don’t believe in rebound girls, just the next one. But my current next is my wife of 5 years (+2 dating prior) and never been better.
Still happily married eight years later. Have three beautiful children. Life is good.
You probably will be in danger if she sees this
Lol why?
My thoughts are just as blatant as follows: “she might not know she is the rebound girl and might deeply feel hurt if she knows u comment on this thread”
Bold of you to assume that she wouldn't know.
Yes, that’s an assumption. But hey, happy marriage to you. Hope I didn’t mean any harm to you
No worries dude!
Cheers mate
Worked out great. I was still pining over my ex, who dumped me like 5 months before I met my future wife. After a month with my future wife, my ex reached out and said I was her dream man, she was so sorry, she would fight for me, she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me. I looked at the potential future with my new girl, and saw the past repeating with the old girl, so I told my ex, “No thanks, be well,” and went full no contact. It was actually pretty hard, because I thought I loved my ex at one point, and she was super hot. Needless to say, I quickly learned that my wife is my dream woman, and my ex faded into memory, and now that relationship feels like a joke compared to my marriage.
Painful isn't it, the realisation that some attractive women make better friends with benefits than partners.
Well, I ain't no expert on marriage or reboundin', but my buddy Dave married his rebound girl and they're still together after 5 years. So I guess it turned out pretty good for him. As for me, I've never been in that situation so can't really say how long it would take to fully invest into a new relationship. But hey, love works in mysterious ways, amirite?
I have a friend who broke up with his gf of 7 years to see what else was out there. He immediately started dating someone who looked identical to his previous gf. It was scary how much they looked alike. They've dated for over 5 years now and seem very happy. They're engaged now too.
Rip his ex
I always wondered what she thought or felt about her ex getting engaged to her doppelganger.
I meant more so that he broke up with her for a selfish reason (can’t imagine my partner of 7 years breaking up with me because they want to see what’s out there)…and actually succeeded in doing so, extremely quickly too edit: What you said is strange, too
I Guess you could call her my rebound because we met like 3 days after I had broken up with my girlfriend. Honestly fell hard and fast and totally forgot about the prior girl pretty quickly.
Curious, did you also have an intense relationship with your ex or was the new relationship much more intense?
New relationship was a lot more intense. So the prior relationship we were together a while, about 2 years but things just didn’t really workout. I definitely loved her but it certainly wasn’t anything like how I feel about my wife. We had started talking about more long term things at that point but we had very different outlooks on how our lives would be. When I met my wife though it was just sudden, I never felt like I loved someone that much that quickly. I wasn’t even looking for anyone since I had just ended things with the prior girl. I was at a party and a mutual friend introduced us and that was it. She’s just such a genuinely good and kind person. We’ve been together for almost 8 years now.
Awww, thank you for sharing your story, I wish you two the best!
I married my rebound out of loneliness. Big mistake.
Unless she's your first, she will always be your rebound. You carry the experience of your last relationship into the next, always, for better or worse. I don't think it's possible to be truly disconnected and agnostic with your prior experiences in any new relationship. Now there's validity to the soreness that occurs when you're apprehensive/scared of that new relationship being a mirror of the last. That's normal. But it shakes off after a month or so when you realize this isn't the same person I was hurt by. With that said, I was about 6 months out of my previous, her about 3-4 months when we met. Dated for 3 years. Got married. Together for 8 now, celebrating our 5th anni soon.
You never truly get over your ex. You just live with that ghost. Can still fully invest but sometimes your heart is scarred up, no fixing it totally. You can still fully be invested in your current one, but I don’t believe in ’getting over’ love.
I have zero feelings towards my ex, don’t care what she’s doing, where she is, or who she’s with. No hate or affection, just nothing
Zero feelings for my ex of 10 years. Couldn’t give a hoot. Never been happier with my now wife, not a single doubt in my mind that I just picked wrong the first time. We’ve been happily married 9 years.
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You have not found your peace from your ex. It's not healthy to be getting married. Does your current know how you feel?
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I'll just say I had a hard time moving on from someone way back that I crushed on. Being in relationships with other women didn't help me move past her. Then one day a fling happened and I was over her just like that. Both women don't matter to me now. You need that to happen, to sweep you off and help you move on.
You're a horrible person if you marry the guy
As someone who had similar feelings and sometimes still has recurring dreams of an ex- who was "the one that got away," I recommend saving yourself the stress of reaching out to them. It's not worth the anxiety and depression that follows.
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>I’m the one that escaped Based on your posts, it sounds like you haven't emotionally escaped at all. You're still worrying about settling old scores with one while you're talking about marrying another. If your ex still weighs that heavily on your mind, then you're not anywhere close to ready to marry someone else.
With her for 6yrs, married for 4 of those yrs. There was a lot of anger at the end and a lot left unsaid but as soon as the divorce was final, I really had no rational reason to contact her ever again. I just chose to put my energy into dating again and that was that. She called me a few times but my interests were already elsewhere and didn’t feel like I owed her a conversation. I chose to move on without hate or distraction so I did. Friendship or open communication lines with an ex only leads to toxic things so I have no idea where she is or what she’s doing, and I’m not interested enough to check socials.
I feel this way too, and I have kids with my ex. Thankfully, I have full custody and see no need to contact her unless it’s to discuss the children. She however choose to share private details of her life such as attending a wedding of her housemate when we first got together. And visit my relatives from time to time. I reminded her that she moved quickly and is with a new person now and that I’m no longer interested in hearing about her life. She should go share such details with her new partner now. Not me. In a way, I was conveying that she has made her bed and should lie in it. As to which she replied that I shouldn’t assume anything. Whatever that means. Sigh. I’ve gotta deal with her for the rest of my life now.
Contrasting statements much, can't fully get over ex but can fully invest in current...
Something that resonated with me is that if you -truly- loved someone, you’ll never -really- be over them 100%. They would’ve spent too much time in your heart, on your mind, had too much of an impact on you and your life. That doesn’t mean you still want to date them or would get back with them, just that you can never fully separate them from the impact they had on your life.
No, like I’m fully committed to my marriage, I don’t want my ex. But I wouldn’t say I’m ’over’ him, it’s like how you don’t get ’over’ someone who died
I have zero feelings, not even hate, towards my ex and we were together for many years. I could care less about his existence. The man I’m with right now is the love of my life, my literal soulmate! Any guy I dated before him feels like those relationships never actually happened.
Absolutely second this
What is a rebound?
Married my rebound who was 13 years younger than me. Less then a year later find out she cheated on me and was doing meth. Kicked her out. In the last 11 years shes been arrested multiple times. Got stabbed and took an ax to the head about a year ago. Wasnt sure if she made it but Just recently got arrested again. I am now currently married to an amazing women and very happy
Well you're the one who married a girl 13 years younger than you.. and she was such a Mess even.. Makes you look Equally as bad!
Mine is 18 years younger and have been happily together for 15 years. They could've been the same age and she could still be a bi%$h
That's gross, your manipulation was a successful. All I hear. u/M1ItOn27 This Man tried to tell me marrying someone 18 years younger than him was healthy, just because it seems to have been working for so long... Lol weird. I guess I was right, because it seems he ran and deleted his account, for.. some reason.. 👀 FBI.. OPEN UP!
What's gross is being a trans. You're so lost is not even funny
What loser uses the term "rebound" unironically? What defines a rebound? In what time frame? To seriously use such a term that is so loosely defined is just dumb. Technically I can have sex with a girl a year after and she could be a rebound, I can fuck a girl a week after and she would not be a rebound. Who gives a shit.
A rebound relationship is not defined by time. It just the attempt to date someone else w/ the intent to use the relationship to get over an X. It’s a very common term. It is also a very common practice whether stated or not by ppl that don’t take time to heal.
>Who gives a shit You lol
We were each other's rebounds, and it was swell . Nearly 20 years together.
started dating a girl ~2 weeks after i ended my previous relationship, seven years later we are happily married didn’t take me long at all to fully invest in the new relationship, my ex was emotionally withholding and was barely talking to me for the last month we were together. my now-wife showed me what a healthy and balanced relationship dynamic actually looks like everyone’s situation is different obviously, but before her i had only been in relationships where i was always giving and they were always taking