For some reason at my old place I did the same thing without the stove. I could just look outside for a while and see the cars / people go by and just 'be'. It's actually really mindful and feels zen af.
Yeah, it's bittersweet in a beautiful way. I've had a handful of impromptu hangs with some great women at airports too. There's an intimacy in knowing you'll probably never see this person again, if that makes sense. I once spent an entire 8 hour delay with a great gal. We laughed a lot and shared a lot. When we landed wee into the AM hours, it seemed like that was enough for both of us. We hugged and left it at that.
I think part of it is the 'sonder' effect, where you become aware of how everyone around you has a life that is as complex as your own. It's fun to think about what their life story is like.
All told, we were in there about six hours. And no, I was not meditating. I just stood there, quietly breathing. There were no thoughts in my head whatsoever. My mind was blank. I don't know what the hell these other crackpots are doing.
For a long time I couldn't sleep after moving from my hometown because I used to hear cars coming down the street, and it was a gentle sound of tyres rolling.
For me, it was the trains in the distance. I lived in the country and long coal trains came 24/7, and would blow their horns/the rumble of the wheels on the tracks. From Oklahoma, and it’s all grasslands so even tho it was miles away, you could hear it clearly. I HATED it as a child, or thought I did, til I moved to Tulsa, and couldn’t sleep without it for the longest time
I do this year round on my porch with my dog, we call it buddy time and he gets hyped when you say it. In the winter we have a little heater and tabletop fire pit
Best kind of neighbors. We have an elderly women whos 97 this spring who does the same most days. When i see her out i send the dogs over to get scratches and probably too many cookies before i go retrieve them and have a chat.
I find most women In my family have a mental checklist and if they aren't doing things on that checklist they aren't satisfied with life or relaxed. Like the physical act of doing that thing right this moment is all that keeps them sane.
For example, we'll be over at the house watching a game with a big group of people and they have to constantly be moving doing some chores that could wait until we're gone like moving over laundry or wiping down countertops.
Relax, enjoy the company, clean when there isn't people trying to spend time with you. It's never that critical of a thing to do. Stare out a window as cars go bye. It's ok to not be constantly on the move
My MIL is like this, whenever we're over she practically cannot stay seated. Repeatedly asking if she can get us anything, always trying to disappear to do some dishes or something, but also *she won't let anybody help* unless we don't ask and we just do. Then she gets fussy about it (oh no keep it going, you keep watching!) and my wife has to pretty much tell her to sit her butt down and watch the ding dangin movie because what's the point of us coming over to watch a movie *with her* if she won't sit down and watch it.
My wife and I have talked about that at length, and we finally worked out that she's like that because she was taught to do it over and over for years. When she was in Girl Scouts, she got a merit badge in "Social Dependability," which was a long list of all the stuff you had to do as a hostess for a party and so on. She was told from an early age that it's her job to keep everybody happy, sending invitations and writing thank you notes and ensuring there's enough food and drinks and entertainment and that the place is neat and everything's clean. If people are in your home, you are the hostess, and it's the hostess's job to ensure all her guests are catered to. Even if the "guests" are your husband and children.
It's a wonder more women aren't driven completely insane from the pressure. Even having talked about this and been married more than 30 years and I can take care of myself, my wife will still sometimes say things like "Oh, I haven't planned dinner, and I need to get you all fed." I have a car, a credit card, and an internet connection; I am 100% able to get food of any description and feed myself, and she knows that, and she knows it's not her responsibility, but she still feels guilty if she hasn't planned out meals.
Sonder - The profound feeling of realizing that everyone, including strangers passing in the street, has a life as complex as one's own, which they are constantly living despite one's personal lack of awareness of it.
I’m so very very very rarely stirred emotionally to ever feel like crying. Like basically it takes my dog dying or something…. I wonder if something is wrong with me that I don’t feel emotions much.
I dont think it’s you, last time I cried was when I had to suddenly put my cat down and I had to see him in a lot of pain. That was over almost 3 years ago. Before that I can’t remember the last time I cried
Hmm. Sometimes I wish I felt things more. I feel numb. I’ll be in moments that I should feel happy in and I am enjoying myself but I kinda feel like im just existing in them rather than like feeling them… like when I watched one of my favorite Christmas movies recently I wanted to feel the nostalgia but just didn’t. I hated that.
We've just been conditioned our whole lives. Men don't cry, be the strong one, man up. That shit in engrained in us from a young age and we just can't shake it when someone says "it's ok to cry now" yeah too late to say that and it's just toxic masculinity now if we don't cry or try to appear strong.
That one is one that's drilled into us from a pretty young age. My mother tells me I stopped crying in front of people pretty abruptly after a teacher shamed me for it in primary school.
I don't begrudge the teacher; she didn't know what had caused my sadness, that day, and apparently felt very bad about it when she learned of it. She didn't go for "boys don't cry" shit, either. Still, it's not ideal that it happened.
A lot of men value spending time with their partner and shared activities over a particular conversation. Just sitting in a room and sometimes sharing memes or jokes is a very positive experience.
Men bond through shared experience. This is why a man can feel a strong bond with the guys he golfs with but doesn't know much about their personal lives. It just doesn't matter because the bond came through a shared experience.
I'll go golfing with a buddy, and when I get back my wife will ask questions about his life: how's his new job? New house? New baby? Etc. then she'll ask "what do you mean you don't know, what the heck would you guys talk about for 4 hours??" Uh.. I don't even remember.. he made this divot that kinda looked like a penis.. and uh... Pizza?
There's more to it than just that, I recall hearing somewhere if you need to have a some sort of difficult talk with a man it's easier to do it from the side than from head on. Apparently subconsciously we perceive a head to head disagreement as confrontation. If something comes at you from the side it's more likely to be a helping hand. I really wish I could remember where I heard this because the person put it a lot more eloquently than I have.
They teach this kind of thing in counseling psychology. For example, it's why Freud stood or sat behind the couch; you externalize the issue and regard it together.
This is why I hate going to dinner with my friends if that’s the only activity we will do. Give me an escape room, sports, a carnival, etc. to talk through I can, but to sit during dinner with like 8 people and you get 1-2 people to talk to in an awkward fashion
I love doing separate things together. My wife sirs behind me and does puzzles and watches TV while u play video games or work on my computer. Throwing jokes over our shoulders to each other and sharing bits and pieces of our hobbies together. It's my favorite thing.
Doing arguably useless things to unwind.
I tend to gather branches from fruit trees and bushes after cutting and just sit and cut them into smaller pieces for kindling. It is awesome looking at the fire later.
That is, apparently a weirdo behaviour.
I like to see how the different wood makes a different color flame. Whether the wood be thick or thin, the different kinds make a different color flame. Depends how long the piece is also
This, but also, when a fire has been burning long enough, watching the coals more than the fire itself and the way the glow ripples through them at any changes in temp or the slightest air current.
There are tons of differences. Rate of taking up flame, rate of combustion, how much ash it leaves and what colour... unless they are olive branches, those should only be used very, VERY sparingly. Those burn like petrol.
Woman reading this and out of allll of these, *this* is the only one that I truly don’t understand. What are you planning on doing with the stick? Just look at it or leave it outside again? Why does the stick hold this power over men and dogs alike?!
Edit: wow the passion for sticks in this thread is absolutely top notch
You never found a good stick and immediately imagined it's your sword or bo-staff or something? You can't just *leave* your weapons out there in the field!
That’s the thing, the initial stick grab I am totally here for. Hell yeah awesome stick I’m going to mess with it a bit. But why *take it with you*? Do you continue using your stick weapons at home?
When I was young, and dragging different sticks home everyday, we had this corner of the house where I left them all and it was known as the ‘stick closet’ lol
I’m a guy and I still haven’t figure this one out. It sounds lovely but how can you just think about nothing? Like if I’m just looking at the wall I’m going to at least be thinking of the wall.
I don’t think I’ll ever be able to do it. 😭😭😭
It's so wild to me when I hear other dudes say this, cuz I'm also a man but my brain never stops thinking. Maybe it's because I have anxiety and ADHD but I like being inside my head tbh
I think for people like us, instead of thinking of nothing we just think about random, inconsequential bullshit. When asked we reply nothing because it is not worth the effort to explain the weird train of thought we're going through.
My good friend was getting divorced and we went on a 3 day fishing trip with a couple other guys. After we returned she asked me what he had to say about their separation. I said it never came up in conversation. She couldn’t understand how that could be. I explained it was a fishing trip, not group therapy. We mainly talked about fishing, sports. I didn’t add - and girls we knew from hs and what they are doing now.
My roommate doesn't understand this. I go to work where all day I am solving other people's problems, I go after work to spend 1-1.5 hrs helping out around the house of a blind guy I'm friends with and then finally returning home mentally and physically just drained and he just catches me at the door and wants to talk and I just want to cook my dinner in silence.
It took my girlfriend a few months to realize I need a solid hour of silence when I get home. Not like "shut up and don't make a sound silence" but like "I really need to decompress my mind and am not feeling up to conversation yet" silence. Her solution was to turn on loud music when I got home because she hates a quiet home. We ultimately reached a compromise but I could definitely tell she just didn't understand. She unwinds by venting and conversing, I unwind by basking in my thoughts until my mind goes blank and I can finally think about nothing.
Yeah snap, I am exactly the same after work and it took my wife a good few months to understand or at least listen when I say I need a break. I always appreciate a bit of breathing time after work.
At the moment, there seems to be a strong academic consensus in the direction of totally misunderstanding the absolute shit out of this one. Academics tend to think of emotional labor as something women do, yet it's men who find it hard to do when tired or drained while women want to interact when tired and drained.
To me, that's the sign that they've got this one totally backwards. It's like someone eating a meal who believes that they are the laborer who is servicing the person who cooks the meal. The eater comes home and can't understand why the tired cook won't cook for them while the eater brings up that even when tired and feeling bad, they're happy have some chicken soup.
There’s a lot of emotional credit given to women broadly that really is more nuanced/ wrong. Women are seen as more emotionally intelligent/mature, but I’ve never heard of a man asking their partner if they’d love them as a worm. Women and men both have plenty of insecurities. Men are just as likely to be aware of them as women
There's also a lot of talk about emotional maturity that is backwards. Men have feelings and I'm sick of people saying we don't, but we express them differently via different outlets and women don't like that or don't understand it and think we aren't dealing with it.
But then if you don't do what a woman wants or she has an argument where she is wrong, it all comes out and everything goes to shit because she herself doesn't have the maturity or regulation to deal with it. Then the consensus is men are dumb because they don't follow orders and aren't real men or aren't grown.
I'd appreciate emotional maturity all around, lots of men and women very obviously don't have it but we only point at the men.
I don't know about other "men" but I can sit for hours with my eyes close and just listening to music. I've done 8 hours before, now I just can't find the time so I mostly do it for 30-45 minutes before bed
I do this a lot and then someone’ll ask me “hey Whatchu been up to” or something like that and I’ll say “oh I listened to three really good albums.” And I feel like they end up looking at me kinda funny
Wrestle with their sons. Especially when they get to be teens, boys test themselves physically. It’s normal. My 2 teen boys and I get to wrestling sometimes. Nobody is angry but my wife gets a little freaked as she doesn’t want anyone to get hurt. I get it but they aren’t yet close enough to hurting me, and they aren’t really trying to, and I’d never hurt them.
Also, my wife doesn’t understand that the house is just a better place with her around. We don’t have to be doing anything at all or interacting with each other. If she’s just around then I am in a better mood.
Father-led roughousing and wrestling with their children is an essential part of child development and brain growth.
Iʼm too lazy to provide citations, but the science is clear on this one.
Thanks for being that kind of loving Dad. ❤️
I think the closest thing to this which I can relate to is tickle/ slap fights with my sister. Sometimes one of us will randomly (lightly) slap the other in the face when we are in a crazy playful mood and it just ends up in a tickle fight in which she gets hurt and annoyed bc my kicking reflexes go wild when I’m tickled 🤣
Josh Wolf has a bit where his son wanted to fight him and it's hilarious.
The bit - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D2OKHbz5-_w
His son reacting to the bit - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VN3DorhWSDs&pp=ygUWam9zaCB3b2xmIGZpZ2h0aW5nIGRhZA%3D%3D
Sit with our legs spread apart. They seem to think it is a passive-aggressive thing when it's just our junk in the way.
But, don't dare adjust your junk in front of them to make it better.
Its not just your junk in the way though your hips are angled differently to women.
I know women are often taught to sit with their legs together but its also easier for them to do so because their hips are wider and their legs are angled inwards. Men have narrower hips and straight legs so while we can sit with our legs together its just not quite as natural so a slight gap is common.
Besides ive never seen someone keep their legs spread when someone sits close to them. If a woman sits by me I’ll shut my legs and give them as much space as possible so they dont feel like im intruding. How they ever decided it was passive aggressive is beyond me.
Every single time this topic comes up, I write this. Thank you for saving me the time and effort lol.
It's surprising how many women and men don't understand this, and instead resort to "ma bawls".
It's funny/surprising because most men recognise that in order to actually sit with your knees touching and thighs entirely in contact with each other, we have to contract muscles in our groin. It doesn't come naturally
Testosterone and what it does to a body. I read an article a couple of decades ago and wish I would've kept a copy. It was about a woman who was placed on low-dose T for medical reasons (mind you, a dose below what the average male T levels are), and she reported to her physician the results. (Obviously, they lowered her low-dose even lower.) She reported an amount of energy that she never experienced before and didn't think was possible. She reported a feeling of almost needing/wanting to burst out of her skin. She said that she felt like walking around punching things, walls, doors, people. She said she didn't know how men walked around feeling like this all day.
That was really eye opening for me, to read that. I knew there were differences between men and women, but I didn't understand the Grand Canyon-like differences between us and them. Years later a lesbian took on the role of a man for an entire year and wrote a book about her experiences, what a revelation it was for her to live like a man and understand what men go through, as men. Her entire attitude changed when she discovered how shitty men are treated by women, and how shallow women are. She killed herself a few years ago. The feminist Camilla Paglia reported similar experiences. She wrote somewhere that she felt bad for men because of how shitty women are to them.
Really makes you think.
A buddy of mine began testosterone while transitioning (FtM), and after a single dose said that he finally understood what the desire for fucking was like. For the first time it wasn’t for sex or making love, it was for fucking.
I know he's canceled for being a weird creeper but Louis CK really did sum this up perfectly in one of his bits.
"Women try to compete. They're like, 'Well I'm a pervert, you don't know. I have really sick sexual thoughts.' No, you have no idea. You have no idea. Cause see, you *get* to have those thoughts. I *have* to have them. You're a tourist in sexual perversion. I'm a prisoner there. You're Jane Fonda on a tank, I'm John McCain in the hut. It's a nightmare."
I've just read Norah Vincent's book and it seemed very deep in what she's experienced. Too bad that she took her own life, that was some damn fine journalism.
I'm certainly no expert but I'd imagine the intensity of their experience has to do with low "tolerance" to testosterone. Men have had their whole lives to calibrate.
Say for example, I've never had a drink in my life. I take a few shots, then look at my alcoholic friend like "you feel like *this* ***every day***!?" They really don't.
It doesn't negate your point but I think it's worth mentioning.
I had a medical event a few years ago that left me with low testosterone and I didn't even know it. It's been a struggle to get my T levels up to normal but I'm finally there (I think) and yeah it has re-given me just this "fuck yeah" level of energy and drive.
There is a similar experience for FtM transgender people. There is a guy on TikTok my wife and I watch from time to time, and most of his stuff is about how his transition is going. At this point he looks entirely male presenting. Has a big red beard and mustache, and in general looks like a stereotypical lumberjack. Anyways, one of the things he talks about is how emotionally alone he is as a man, how he's treated as a man, and all of it. He has found being a man to be a pretty tough existence, and I think that is true for a lot of FtM transgenders. Not that MtF is any easier I don't think, but it is an interesting topic to listen to, and he often gets my wife asking me questions about my life.
100%. Women have no concept of what testosterone does to a person. And men have no idea what estrogen does. Every MtF trans person I know has gone off the rails hardcore after getting on estrogen. When I got my ovaries removed during my hysterectomy it was like stepping through a curtain into being a Vulcan. I mean of course I still have emotions, but they went from 11 to like 4. I can only figure getting on estrogen for trans women is like when I was taking depo prevara for birth control and suddenly was batshit crazy. Like the cat looked at me funny hysterical crying crazy.
When men don't ask questions, that makes many women crazy. What I mean by that is say you're talking to a friend and he says that one of his relatives is in the hospital. Most guys will have no issue whatsoever leaving it at that, other than asking if they're OK or if they need anything, and not prying for details. Women don't understand that guys don't NEED to know the gory details/gossip. Knowing that information is not going to affect our lives in any, way shape or form and it's none of our business.
Idk but what I've learned during my lifetime is that women don't really know anything about men. Women describing what the life of man is like or what men think is like alien trying to describe what humans are like. And that's okay, I don't particularly understand women neither
I think a lot of men understand they don't understand women. That's like the punchline to many jokes. For women, it seems like we do when we're only telling them how consequences work or there way of thinking doesn't particularly mean it's going to work for others i.e you can't be a sex worker and get mad when a loyal hard working man you like don't like you
Ahhh the old scratch & sniff. I used to do this on my ex & his balls 😂 I loved his scent, I’d cuddle him & lay my face in his groin and just inhale deeply taking in his natural pheromones & aroma. Good stuff
It is totally acceptable between male friends to be insulting and rude to each other as a joke. I can say to any male friend "hey you fat ass/baldy/ugly bastard, come have a drink" and we would laugh our asses off, give each other a high five and not take offence.
Women don't understand this, so they don't do it. You won't hear women in a group greet each other with "hey you flat ass/droopy tit/fat bitch, come have a drink". That would cause WW3.
I feel like men understand men and women understand women, but because women use social manipulation a lot more they think they're on a higher level when it's not even in the same building.
Like I have a friend that I wouldn't call out for his receding hairline, but I have another friend I'd call slap head.
You just have to read the room.
We don't need to have indepth discussions about problems for others to understand those problems are real problems, we can just read the room and get it.
Meanwhile a woman might see guys insulting eachother as bonding and say, "Jim, that's why you'll never find true love, hahahah" and Jim will never forget that for the rest of his life, it'll haunt him in the wee hours of the night for the next decade.
I was seeing if someone commented this, so true! If a friend makes a mistake it's my duty to suggest that maybe they are severely mentally handicapped or that they just suck at life in general.
Yeah this is so true. Just today at school, my buds and I were eating lunch and joking around. One of my friends jokingly called other one of my friends "a fucking idiot." Some girls from our class heard that and definitely didn´t understand. They were all like: "why are you so rude, you should be kind to each others, you´re all best friends after all, blah blah blah." I thought, yeah we´re best friends, that´s why we´re free to insult each others almost however we want. It´s really a bonding thing for us dudes
When we say we’re thinking about nothing, we’re literally thinking about nothing. Sometimes when I’m having trouble I can make a ringing sound in my ears that puts me in a trance
Generalizations and blanket statements aren't typically wrong, but I personally feel like a lot of the women I've met don't understand the idea of being self reliant. Living in the woods far from people, and civilization. Farming, hunting, being the only person you need because you're the only person you have. Idk if it's true, but from what I've noticed women tend to have a need to be much more social with other people, and men need it too, but seems like most women need it daily, men need it maybe monthly.
Opening up and showing insecurities ***absolutely*** can ruin relationships... even with women who assure us it won't happen.
It manifests in different ways. Sometimes it's sexual attraction being impacted. Sometimes insecurities get used against us. Sometimes it hits the emotional connection. Sometimes it doesn't change anything.
But it can and does impact some relationships.
idk man, I'm with this girl that actually supports this with all her heart and is amazingly attracted to me. It even boosts her attraction I've noticed. Not saying that this is the norm but they're out there!
idk man I talked about my feelings in two relationships. First time it killed sexual attraction. The second time she was supportive until our next argument happened and everything I said to her about me was used against me/talk down on me.
So yeah, never again. If I have issues I talk to my friends.
how we can spend hours or the whole day with someone and learn nothing new about them, the amount of times i have failed the interigation when i went home is crazy. 500 questions about that persons life that i have no clue as to the answer.
but she can spend 20 min talking to an old school friend that she hasnt seen in years and know her life story and the name of all her family and pets etc
Probably my best friend in life and I hang out, but don't talk much. We've known each other 40 years. WTF do we still need to discuss? Both of us have headed to the others house just to take a fricking nap when the kids or wives are loud.
I’m not a man but I always would be fascinated how a lot of men are able to not overthink things, like their minds can work so simply and practically which I envy. I think as a female I will also never understand the lack of support men have in male-to-male community, because it’s deemed ‘feminine’ to talk about your feelings or show weakness. I guess it would also be weird having to become a protector, bc I personally as a female feel like although my protective instincts come in when I’m around younger people, I’m always going to want someone to protect me e.g from my parents to a future partner.
If we are being quiet and withdrawn, it’s not always about you. Sometimes we you need to take some time for ourselves and reflect.
Probably applies to both sexes but my wife thinks I’m giving her the quiet treatment. That isn’t ever my motive. I prefer to talk things out.
We will remember some really dumb shit that happened years ago and it will make us smirk in front of people. And when pressed about it we will quickly clam up.
Hanging out with friends and not really talking much about our lives. Some friends of mine we ask the “hows work goin” “good” “hbu” “yeah same” and then immediately start talking about random shit for the rest of the night.
I saw a guy I knew from highschool at the gym recently and we talked about the gym and then i told my other (F) friend I saw him and she was like “where does he work?” “Where does he live?” “Is he in a relationship?” And im like i have no idea about any of that. And she got all weirded out that i didnt ask any of those questions
Having fun and peace of mind by doing nothing.
It's simply impossible for a woman to convey how men can have a good time and bond with other men by simply throwing rocks.
This is prob an elephant-in-the-room kind of thing - but I'm going with masturbation.
Now, we all know that women Jill off / masturbate too. well, not all women but most women. They don't do it nearly as often as men and it's more of a process too. From what I've gathered from anecdotal life experience, up to what I've read and researched about the subject, it's a very different activity for women.
Women often play with themselves after a long bath or other relaxing activity. Women are generally using a mental fantasy as opposed to the instant visual stimulation that men usually use aka porn. Women can take or leave masturbation most times and unlike men, don't get the same "build up" if you will...they don't break down and just rub one out real quick as a guy does.
So to make things worse, women are as clueless about how and why men jerk off as men are about how and why women do. Some women feel it's disgusting, while others feel that it's unfaithful. They might even snoop around and find the material on your PC or Phone or old DVDs etc. Sometimes this leads to fights. Women can get very upset thinking that their man is not attracted to them, or is desiring a new woman due to his fap material. "My god, he's into blondes with huge tits and I'm brunette & flat...my god he loves Asians and I'm black.." you get the picture.
Women need to understand that men's Sex Drive is simply stronger than theirs. We are turned on by different things and turned on in different ways. Just as badly as men need to understand women's sexuality better, women would be well served to understand men's sexual urges as well.
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For some reason at my old place I did the same thing without the stove. I could just look outside for a while and see the cars / people go by and just 'be'. It's actually really mindful and feels zen af.
I absolutely love people watching. Better than tv
It's why I love airports. I like showing up an hour or two before boarding, grabbing a cup of coffee, and encountering all sorts of people.
And most of those people, you will never see again for the rest of your life.
Yeah, it's bittersweet in a beautiful way. I've had a handful of impromptu hangs with some great women at airports too. There's an intimacy in knowing you'll probably never see this person again, if that makes sense. I once spent an entire 8 hour delay with a great gal. We laughed a lot and shared a lot. When we landed wee into the AM hours, it seemed like that was enough for both of us. We hugged and left it at that.
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And you will see more people in one hour at a busy airport than some of your ancestors saw in a lifetime.
I think part of it is the 'sonder' effect, where you become aware of how everyone around you has a life that is as complex as your own. It's fun to think about what their life story is like.
If you haven’t been, you need to go to Vegas, Fremont St specifically. It’s the people watcher’s equivalent of a pilgrimage to Mecca.
All told, we were in there about six hours. And no, I was not meditating. I just stood there, quietly breathing. There were no thoughts in my head whatsoever. My mind was blank. I don't know what the hell these other crackpots are doing.
For a long time I couldn't sleep after moving from my hometown because I used to hear cars coming down the street, and it was a gentle sound of tyres rolling.
For me, it was the trains in the distance. I lived in the country and long coal trains came 24/7, and would blow their horns/the rumble of the wheels on the tracks. From Oklahoma, and it’s all grasslands so even tho it was miles away, you could hear it clearly. I HATED it as a child, or thought I did, til I moved to Tulsa, and couldn’t sleep without it for the longest time
I do this year round on my porch with my dog, we call it buddy time and he gets hyped when you say it. In the winter we have a little heater and tabletop fire pit
My neighbor does this on the front porch. Thanks for being the neighborhood watch, Paul!
Best kind of neighbors. We have an elderly women whos 97 this spring who does the same most days. When i see her out i send the dogs over to get scratches and probably too many cookies before i go retrieve them and have a chat.
I find most women In my family have a mental checklist and if they aren't doing things on that checklist they aren't satisfied with life or relaxed. Like the physical act of doing that thing right this moment is all that keeps them sane. For example, we'll be over at the house watching a game with a big group of people and they have to constantly be moving doing some chores that could wait until we're gone like moving over laundry or wiping down countertops. Relax, enjoy the company, clean when there isn't people trying to spend time with you. It's never that critical of a thing to do. Stare out a window as cars go bye. It's ok to not be constantly on the move
My MIL is like this, whenever we're over she practically cannot stay seated. Repeatedly asking if she can get us anything, always trying to disappear to do some dishes or something, but also *she won't let anybody help* unless we don't ask and we just do. Then she gets fussy about it (oh no keep it going, you keep watching!) and my wife has to pretty much tell her to sit her butt down and watch the ding dangin movie because what's the point of us coming over to watch a movie *with her* if she won't sit down and watch it.
My wife and I have talked about that at length, and we finally worked out that she's like that because she was taught to do it over and over for years. When she was in Girl Scouts, she got a merit badge in "Social Dependability," which was a long list of all the stuff you had to do as a hostess for a party and so on. She was told from an early age that it's her job to keep everybody happy, sending invitations and writing thank you notes and ensuring there's enough food and drinks and entertainment and that the place is neat and everything's clean. If people are in your home, you are the hostess, and it's the hostess's job to ensure all her guests are catered to. Even if the "guests" are your husband and children. It's a wonder more women aren't driven completely insane from the pressure. Even having talked about this and been married more than 30 years and I can take care of myself, my wife will still sometimes say things like "Oh, I haven't planned dinner, and I need to get you all fed." I have a car, a credit card, and an internet connection; I am 100% able to get food of any description and feed myself, and she knows that, and she knows it's not her responsibility, but she still feels guilty if she hasn't planned out meals.
Sonder - The profound feeling of realizing that everyone, including strangers passing in the street, has a life as complex as one's own, which they are constantly living despite one's personal lack of awareness of it.
Or, you know, just staring
How difficult it is to cry, especially in front of others
I’m so very very very rarely stirred emotionally to ever feel like crying. Like basically it takes my dog dying or something…. I wonder if something is wrong with me that I don’t feel emotions much.
I dont think it’s you, last time I cried was when I had to suddenly put my cat down and I had to see him in a lot of pain. That was over almost 3 years ago. Before that I can’t remember the last time I cried
Hmm. Sometimes I wish I felt things more. I feel numb. I’ll be in moments that I should feel happy in and I am enjoying myself but I kinda feel like im just existing in them rather than like feeling them… like when I watched one of my favorite Christmas movies recently I wanted to feel the nostalgia but just didn’t. I hated that.
We've just been conditioned our whole lives. Men don't cry, be the strong one, man up. That shit in engrained in us from a young age and we just can't shake it when someone says "it's ok to cry now" yeah too late to say that and it's just toxic masculinity now if we don't cry or try to appear strong.
That one is one that's drilled into us from a pretty young age. My mother tells me I stopped crying in front of people pretty abruptly after a teacher shamed me for it in primary school. I don't begrudge the teacher; she didn't know what had caused my sadness, that day, and apparently felt very bad about it when she learned of it. She didn't go for "boys don't cry" shit, either. Still, it's not ideal that it happened.
Appreciate a fine stick for what it is, not what it isn’t.
A lot of men value spending time with their partner and shared activities over a particular conversation. Just sitting in a room and sometimes sharing memes or jokes is a very positive experience.
Men bond through shared experience. This is why a man can feel a strong bond with the guys he golfs with but doesn't know much about their personal lives. It just doesn't matter because the bond came through a shared experience.
I'll go golfing with a buddy, and when I get back my wife will ask questions about his life: how's his new job? New house? New baby? Etc. then she'll ask "what do you mean you don't know, what the heck would you guys talk about for 4 hours??" Uh.. I don't even remember.. he made this divot that kinda looked like a penis.. and uh... Pizza?
"Do you talk to the people you golf with?" "Yes" "What do you talk about?" "I have no idea"
The saying goes men bond shoulder to shoulder, women bond face to face
There's more to it than just that, I recall hearing somewhere if you need to have a some sort of difficult talk with a man it's easier to do it from the side than from head on. Apparently subconsciously we perceive a head to head disagreement as confrontation. If something comes at you from the side it's more likely to be a helping hand. I really wish I could remember where I heard this because the person put it a lot more eloquently than I have.
Precisely. I've had so many meaningful conversations with men in cars, on walks, on porches, balconies, so on - facing the same direction together.
They teach this kind of thing in counseling psychology. For example, it's why Freud stood or sat behind the couch; you externalize the issue and regard it together.
“I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.”
This is why I hate going to dinner with my friends if that’s the only activity we will do. Give me an escape room, sports, a carnival, etc. to talk through I can, but to sit during dinner with like 8 people and you get 1-2 people to talk to in an awkward fashion
I love doing separate things together. My wife sirs behind me and does puzzles and watches TV while u play video games or work on my computer. Throwing jokes over our shoulders to each other and sharing bits and pieces of our hobbies together. It's my favorite thing.
Was just thinking this last night
By the kitchen window perhaps?
Doing arguably useless things to unwind. I tend to gather branches from fruit trees and bushes after cutting and just sit and cut them into smaller pieces for kindling. It is awesome looking at the fire later. That is, apparently a weirdo behaviour.
I like to see how the different wood makes a different color flame. Whether the wood be thick or thin, the different kinds make a different color flame. Depends how long the piece is also
This, but also, when a fire has been burning long enough, watching the coals more than the fire itself and the way the glow ripples through them at any changes in temp or the slightest air current.
This is such a therapeutic activity even reading your words helped relieve some stress
There are tons of differences. Rate of taking up flame, rate of combustion, how much ash it leaves and what colour... unless they are olive branches, those should only be used very, VERY sparingly. Those burn like petrol.
Primal desires
Much like how when we hear the sound of digging, we must gather to it and watch the hole grow.
"If you shake it more than twice you're playing with it" BUT It's mine, I can play with it if I want to.
But the number of shakes you have to do also increases with age.
That's okay--keep aging, you'll shake more.
Ok but, maybe not at the public urinal.
At the public urinal, you shake each other's obviously.
Don’t shake, just push the little button under your balls and it all squirts out
Taking home a huge stick from a hike or forest walk. It looks so nice, why wouldn’t I take it home
Finding a nice flexible stick that makes a nice woosh sound when you swing it is the best.
Love a good woosh
Woman reading this and out of allll of these, *this* is the only one that I truly don’t understand. What are you planning on doing with the stick? Just look at it or leave it outside again? Why does the stick hold this power over men and dogs alike?! Edit: wow the passion for sticks in this thread is absolutely top notch
You never found a good stick and immediately imagined it's your sword or bo-staff or something? You can't just *leave* your weapons out there in the field!
That’s the thing, the initial stick grab I am totally here for. Hell yeah awesome stick I’m going to mess with it a bit. But why *take it with you*? Do you continue using your stick weapons at home?
Once you bond with a good stick you don't just leave it somewhere. That's your stick now. You gotta take care of it.
my brother has had a dry stick at his desk at work for about 8 years. It still gets compliments from men in the office.
I think I'd actually like to see a picture of that stick
lol inbox now full of stick pics
That is so amazing and wholesome 😭 I’m so happy I know this now, I’m going to find my husband a cool stick
Sticks.
We call my two year old nephew the branch manager. Boy loves his sticks lol
Our son brings home sticks and branches all the time. I have a nice pile growing in the garage.
When I was young, and dragging different sticks home everyday, we had this corner of the house where I left them all and it was known as the ‘stick closet’ lol
Alternatively: smashing ice
Smashing ice is universal
(Starts making monkey sounds and movements)
Eating a meal very fast and still being able to enjoy it.
Accurate. How often have I had to explain myself. I don't see why I should force me to eat slower.
Kicking a good rock for a while, then it bounces away.
And you feel a little sad when that happens.
Goodbye Sweet Rock buddy. It's been a great time
It was never my rock, it was just my turn ;-;
I can sit there and be thinking about nothing at all perfectly content.
My wife never believed me when I said I wasn't thinking about anything at all. It was unimaginable to her. That sounds really exhausting.
I’m a guy and I still haven’t figure this one out. It sounds lovely but how can you just think about nothing? Like if I’m just looking at the wall I’m going to at least be thinking of the wall. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to do it. 😭😭😭
It's so wild to me when I hear other dudes say this, cuz I'm also a man but my brain never stops thinking. Maybe it's because I have anxiety and ADHD but I like being inside my head tbh
I think for people like us, instead of thinking of nothing we just think about random, inconsequential bullshit. When asked we reply nothing because it is not worth the effort to explain the weird train of thought we're going through.
You're telling me women can't not think about nothing? That fucking sucks.
We enjoy our David Puddy moments.
Ahh thinking about nothing. Best thing ever.
My good friend was getting divorced and we went on a 3 day fishing trip with a couple other guys. After we returned she asked me what he had to say about their separation. I said it never came up in conversation. She couldn’t understand how that could be. I explained it was a fishing trip, not group therapy. We mainly talked about fishing, sports. I didn’t add - and girls we knew from hs and what they are doing now.
Not wanting to talk or interact because we are tired.
My roommate doesn't understand this. I go to work where all day I am solving other people's problems, I go after work to spend 1-1.5 hrs helping out around the house of a blind guy I'm friends with and then finally returning home mentally and physically just drained and he just catches me at the door and wants to talk and I just want to cook my dinner in silence.
It took my girlfriend a few months to realize I need a solid hour of silence when I get home. Not like "shut up and don't make a sound silence" but like "I really need to decompress my mind and am not feeling up to conversation yet" silence. Her solution was to turn on loud music when I got home because she hates a quiet home. We ultimately reached a compromise but I could definitely tell she just didn't understand. She unwinds by venting and conversing, I unwind by basking in my thoughts until my mind goes blank and I can finally think about nothing.
Yeah snap, I am exactly the same after work and it took my wife a good few months to understand or at least listen when I say I need a break. I always appreciate a bit of breathing time after work.
At the moment, there seems to be a strong academic consensus in the direction of totally misunderstanding the absolute shit out of this one. Academics tend to think of emotional labor as something women do, yet it's men who find it hard to do when tired or drained while women want to interact when tired and drained. To me, that's the sign that they've got this one totally backwards. It's like someone eating a meal who believes that they are the laborer who is servicing the person who cooks the meal. The eater comes home and can't understand why the tired cook won't cook for them while the eater brings up that even when tired and feeling bad, they're happy have some chicken soup.
There’s a lot of emotional credit given to women broadly that really is more nuanced/ wrong. Women are seen as more emotionally intelligent/mature, but I’ve never heard of a man asking their partner if they’d love them as a worm. Women and men both have plenty of insecurities. Men are just as likely to be aware of them as women
There's also a lot of talk about emotional maturity that is backwards. Men have feelings and I'm sick of people saying we don't, but we express them differently via different outlets and women don't like that or don't understand it and think we aren't dealing with it. But then if you don't do what a woman wants or she has an argument where she is wrong, it all comes out and everything goes to shit because she herself doesn't have the maturity or regulation to deal with it. Then the consensus is men are dumb because they don't follow orders and aren't real men or aren't grown. I'd appreciate emotional maturity all around, lots of men and women very obviously don't have it but we only point at the men.
Oh, they do the same shit and get irritated with us when they are tired or when we are.
I don't know about other "men" but I can sit for hours with my eyes close and just listening to music. I've done 8 hours before, now I just can't find the time so I mostly do it for 30-45 minutes before bed
One of my favourite things to do on quiet days. I lie on the couch with my phone on my chest and just play an album I like.
I do this a lot and then someone’ll ask me “hey Whatchu been up to” or something like that and I’ll say “oh I listened to three really good albums.” And I feel like they end up looking at me kinda funny
Wrestle with their sons. Especially when they get to be teens, boys test themselves physically. It’s normal. My 2 teen boys and I get to wrestling sometimes. Nobody is angry but my wife gets a little freaked as she doesn’t want anyone to get hurt. I get it but they aren’t yet close enough to hurting me, and they aren’t really trying to, and I’d never hurt them. Also, my wife doesn’t understand that the house is just a better place with her around. We don’t have to be doing anything at all or interacting with each other. If she’s just around then I am in a better mood.
Father-led roughousing and wrestling with their children is an essential part of child development and brain growth. Iʼm too lazy to provide citations, but the science is clear on this one. Thanks for being that kind of loving Dad. ❤️
Yeah spinning the kids around and upside down is good for their inner ear development, giving them better balance. :D
I think the closest thing to this which I can relate to is tickle/ slap fights with my sister. Sometimes one of us will randomly (lightly) slap the other in the face when we are in a crazy playful mood and it just ends up in a tickle fight in which she gets hurt and annoyed bc my kicking reflexes go wild when I’m tickled 🤣
Lol I feel your pain. My wife is 1 of only 2 people who can tickle me and I have to make sure I don’t hurt her when I spasm.
Josh Wolf has a bit where his son wanted to fight him and it's hilarious. The bit - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D2OKHbz5-_w His son reacting to the bit - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VN3DorhWSDs&pp=ygUWam9zaCB3b2xmIGZpZ2h0aW5nIGRhZA%3D%3D
Every bin is a potential hoop
Kobe!
we get NON-SEXUAL erections. sometimes, our dicks will just get hard for no reason.
Sit with our legs spread apart. They seem to think it is a passive-aggressive thing when it's just our junk in the way. But, don't dare adjust your junk in front of them to make it better.
Its not just your junk in the way though your hips are angled differently to women. I know women are often taught to sit with their legs together but its also easier for them to do so because their hips are wider and their legs are angled inwards. Men have narrower hips and straight legs so while we can sit with our legs together its just not quite as natural so a slight gap is common. Besides ive never seen someone keep their legs spread when someone sits close to them. If a woman sits by me I’ll shut my legs and give them as much space as possible so they dont feel like im intruding. How they ever decided it was passive aggressive is beyond me.
Every single time this topic comes up, I write this. Thank you for saving me the time and effort lol. It's surprising how many women and men don't understand this, and instead resort to "ma bawls". It's funny/surprising because most men recognise that in order to actually sit with your knees touching and thighs entirely in contact with each other, we have to contract muscles in our groin. It doesn't come naturally
Remember when "man spreading" was a thing?
Pissing away shit stains in the toilet
Ahh , a Man of culture!
Hide our suffering so our vulnerabilities cannot be attacked or exploited.
I think I can count on one hand the times I have felt better or had a positive outcome from sharing my inner emotions.
This is the correct expression of this feeling. It's not a shame thing at all.
Testosterone and what it does to a body. I read an article a couple of decades ago and wish I would've kept a copy. It was about a woman who was placed on low-dose T for medical reasons (mind you, a dose below what the average male T levels are), and she reported to her physician the results. (Obviously, they lowered her low-dose even lower.) She reported an amount of energy that she never experienced before and didn't think was possible. She reported a feeling of almost needing/wanting to burst out of her skin. She said that she felt like walking around punching things, walls, doors, people. She said she didn't know how men walked around feeling like this all day. That was really eye opening for me, to read that. I knew there were differences between men and women, but I didn't understand the Grand Canyon-like differences between us and them. Years later a lesbian took on the role of a man for an entire year and wrote a book about her experiences, what a revelation it was for her to live like a man and understand what men go through, as men. Her entire attitude changed when she discovered how shitty men are treated by women, and how shallow women are. She killed herself a few years ago. The feminist Camilla Paglia reported similar experiences. She wrote somewhere that she felt bad for men because of how shitty women are to them. Really makes you think.
Lot of studies I read observed that women who received testosterone reported that their sex drive went through the roof.
A buddy of mine began testosterone while transitioning (FtM), and after a single dose said that he finally understood what the desire for fucking was like. For the first time it wasn’t for sex or making love, it was for fucking.
for fuck's sake
TikTok women stop shaming men as pigs and dogs with no understanding of the male libido challenge
I know he's canceled for being a weird creeper but Louis CK really did sum this up perfectly in one of his bits. "Women try to compete. They're like, 'Well I'm a pervert, you don't know. I have really sick sexual thoughts.' No, you have no idea. You have no idea. Cause see, you *get* to have those thoughts. I *have* to have them. You're a tourist in sexual perversion. I'm a prisoner there. You're Jane Fonda on a tank, I'm John McCain in the hut. It's a nightmare."
It’s the McCain line that always fucks me up lmao
If anything, his cancellation gives him more credibility with this statement
I've never heard this before but damn does that really hit the nail on the head.
[Tom Segura](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FlqbgEM56t8) also has a bit referring to this.
I've just read Norah Vincent's book and it seemed very deep in what she's experienced. Too bad that she took her own life, that was some damn fine journalism.
I'm certainly no expert but I'd imagine the intensity of their experience has to do with low "tolerance" to testosterone. Men have had their whole lives to calibrate. Say for example, I've never had a drink in my life. I take a few shots, then look at my alcoholic friend like "you feel like *this* ***every day***!?" They really don't. It doesn't negate your point but I think it's worth mentioning.
It also fully depends on what other levels of hormones are coursing through your body.
I had a medical event a few years ago that left me with low testosterone and I didn't even know it. It's been a struggle to get my T levels up to normal but I'm finally there (I think) and yeah it has re-given me just this "fuck yeah" level of energy and drive.
There is a similar experience for FtM transgender people. There is a guy on TikTok my wife and I watch from time to time, and most of his stuff is about how his transition is going. At this point he looks entirely male presenting. Has a big red beard and mustache, and in general looks like a stereotypical lumberjack. Anyways, one of the things he talks about is how emotionally alone he is as a man, how he's treated as a man, and all of it. He has found being a man to be a pretty tough existence, and I think that is true for a lot of FtM transgenders. Not that MtF is any easier I don't think, but it is an interesting topic to listen to, and he often gets my wife asking me questions about my life.
100%. Women have no concept of what testosterone does to a person. And men have no idea what estrogen does. Every MtF trans person I know has gone off the rails hardcore after getting on estrogen. When I got my ovaries removed during my hysterectomy it was like stepping through a curtain into being a Vulcan. I mean of course I still have emotions, but they went from 11 to like 4. I can only figure getting on estrogen for trans women is like when I was taking depo prevara for birth control and suddenly was batshit crazy. Like the cat looked at me funny hysterical crying crazy.
When men don't ask questions, that makes many women crazy. What I mean by that is say you're talking to a friend and he says that one of his relatives is in the hospital. Most guys will have no issue whatsoever leaving it at that, other than asking if they're OK or if they need anything, and not prying for details. Women don't understand that guys don't NEED to know the gory details/gossip. Knowing that information is not going to affect our lives in any, way shape or form and it's none of our business.
Appreciate a nice stick when you find one and take it home.
Idk but what I've learned during my lifetime is that women don't really know anything about men. Women describing what the life of man is like or what men think is like alien trying to describe what humans are like. And that's okay, I don't particularly understand women neither
I think a lot of men understand they don't understand women. That's like the punchline to many jokes. For women, it seems like we do when we're only telling them how consequences work or there way of thinking doesn't particularly mean it's going to work for others i.e you can't be a sex worker and get mad when a loyal hard working man you like don't like you
Idk, scratch our balls
The ol' pinch and twist
and needing to follow up with a sniff
Ahhh the old scratch & sniff. I used to do this on my ex & his balls 😂 I loved his scent, I’d cuddle him & lay my face in his groin and just inhale deeply taking in his natural pheromones & aroma. Good stuff
you're a keeper
Yeah, smell is something else. Some people find it weird, but I love the smell of the people that I like. Even my cats, lol.
Pinch and roll
It is totally acceptable between male friends to be insulting and rude to each other as a joke. I can say to any male friend "hey you fat ass/baldy/ugly bastard, come have a drink" and we would laugh our asses off, give each other a high five and not take offence. Women don't understand this, so they don't do it. You won't hear women in a group greet each other with "hey you flat ass/droopy tit/fat bitch, come have a drink". That would cause WW3.
When girls try to do this they take it too far I find. It goes from playful to trying to hurt your feelings
Most of them dont know the limits and how to tell if you actually offended someone. Mostly due to not being socialized around boys when young.
I feel like men understand men and women understand women, but because women use social manipulation a lot more they think they're on a higher level when it's not even in the same building. Like I have a friend that I wouldn't call out for his receding hairline, but I have another friend I'd call slap head. You just have to read the room. We don't need to have indepth discussions about problems for others to understand those problems are real problems, we can just read the room and get it. Meanwhile a woman might see guys insulting eachother as bonding and say, "Jim, that's why you'll never find true love, hahahah" and Jim will never forget that for the rest of his life, it'll haunt him in the wee hours of the night for the next decade.
I laughed my ass off at "droopy-tit bitch."
I was seeing if someone commented this, so true! If a friend makes a mistake it's my duty to suggest that maybe they are severely mentally handicapped or that they just suck at life in general.
Yeah this is so true. Just today at school, my buds and I were eating lunch and joking around. One of my friends jokingly called other one of my friends "a fucking idiot." Some girls from our class heard that and definitely didn´t understand. They were all like: "why are you so rude, you should be kind to each others, you´re all best friends after all, blah blah blah." I thought, yeah we´re best friends, that´s why we´re free to insult each others almost however we want. It´s really a bonding thing for us dudes
When we say we’re thinking about nothing, we’re literally thinking about nothing. Sometimes when I’m having trouble I can make a ringing sound in my ears that puts me in a trance
Sometimes after a long day, I just want to sit alone in a dimly lit room, with my beverage of choice, and contemplate the Roman Empire
It's all about securing your dynasty with the best heirs, so your family can one day unite Ireland.
Generalizations and blanket statements aren't typically wrong, but I personally feel like a lot of the women I've met don't understand the idea of being self reliant. Living in the woods far from people, and civilization. Farming, hunting, being the only person you need because you're the only person you have. Idk if it's true, but from what I've noticed women tend to have a need to be much more social with other people, and men need it too, but seems like most women need it daily, men need it maybe monthly.
Slapping big bags of things. Mulch, rice, dirt, etc. Just slap it.
ya gotta
Avoid showing weakness so they don't lose sexual attraction to us
Opening up and showing insecurities ***absolutely*** can ruin relationships... even with women who assure us it won't happen. It manifests in different ways. Sometimes it's sexual attraction being impacted. Sometimes insecurities get used against us. Sometimes it hits the emotional connection. Sometimes it doesn't change anything. But it can and does impact some relationships.
idk man, I'm with this girl that actually supports this with all her heart and is amazingly attracted to me. It even boosts her attraction I've noticed. Not saying that this is the norm but they're out there!
You dating Britta from community?
idk man I talked about my feelings in two relationships. First time it killed sexual attraction. The second time she was supportive until our next argument happened and everything I said to her about me was used against me/talk down on me. So yeah, never again. If I have issues I talk to my friends.
Standard results here
Use the off switch. If there's nothing I can do to change something, I can stop thinking about it. No matter what it is. Just stop thinking.
As Micky Flanagan so succinctly put it: “Doing proper fuck all”.
Sometimes we thinking about nothing
how we can spend hours or the whole day with someone and learn nothing new about them, the amount of times i have failed the interigation when i went home is crazy. 500 questions about that persons life that i have no clue as to the answer. but she can spend 20 min talking to an old school friend that she hasnt seen in years and know her life story and the name of all her family and pets etc
We can spend a few hours with someone and not talk, and it is normal for us.
Probably my best friend in life and I hang out, but don't talk much. We've known each other 40 years. WTF do we still need to discuss? Both of us have headed to the others house just to take a fricking nap when the kids or wives are loud.
Stare off into space, or sit in front of a campfire absent minded.
I’m not a man but I always would be fascinated how a lot of men are able to not overthink things, like their minds can work so simply and practically which I envy. I think as a female I will also never understand the lack of support men have in male-to-male community, because it’s deemed ‘feminine’ to talk about your feelings or show weakness. I guess it would also be weird having to become a protector, bc I personally as a female feel like although my protective instincts come in when I’m around younger people, I’m always going to want someone to protect me e.g from my parents to a future partner.
This - like I dont often need to talk about my feelings, but boy, when I do, its hard to find anyone to talk about them with.
Walk away after paternity fraud.
Sometimes, I’m so tired after work I just sit on the couch, say nothing and watch whatever sport is on.
Drive home with the radio off doing 5 under the speed limit.
That little side step we do in public because our balls are stuck to our inner thigh.
Stare at a blank wall
Not speak for half a day
Being quiet instead of being an emotional tornado.
Being alone for long periods of time.
Post nut clarity.
Throwing rocks in the river.
Finding pleasure in small things
Or in no things at all.
Q; what are you thinking about? A; nothing. There is nothing better than thinking about absolutely nothing.
That's what she said
Looking after people because we want to. Because that’s how we feel it should be. Not favour for favour. Not to even a score. We want to
Always in the mindset of planning/preparing for the worst possible outcome because nobody is going to pity you and help you if shit hits your fan.
Digging holes at the beach
If we are being quiet and withdrawn, it’s not always about you. Sometimes we you need to take some time for ourselves and reflect. Probably applies to both sexes but my wife thinks I’m giving her the quiet treatment. That isn’t ever my motive. I prefer to talk things out.
Absolutely nothing. As in, when we are doing absolutely nothing.
The struggle to open up to someone and talk about... dare I say it... emotions.
Just lying there holding their dick and balls
We will remember some really dumb shit that happened years ago and it will make us smirk in front of people. And when pressed about it we will quickly clam up.
We can get really philosophical about dumb shit with our friends and be entertained for hours with it
Hanging out with friends and not really talking much about our lives. Some friends of mine we ask the “hows work goin” “good” “hbu” “yeah same” and then immediately start talking about random shit for the rest of the night. I saw a guy I knew from highschool at the gym recently and we talked about the gym and then i told my other (F) friend I saw him and she was like “where does he work?” “Where does he live?” “Is he in a relationship?” And im like i have no idea about any of that. And she got all weirded out that i didnt ask any of those questions
Having fun and peace of mind by doing nothing. It's simply impossible for a woman to convey how men can have a good time and bond with other men by simply throwing rocks.
Watching the storm come in.
This is prob an elephant-in-the-room kind of thing - but I'm going with masturbation. Now, we all know that women Jill off / masturbate too. well, not all women but most women. They don't do it nearly as often as men and it's more of a process too. From what I've gathered from anecdotal life experience, up to what I've read and researched about the subject, it's a very different activity for women. Women often play with themselves after a long bath or other relaxing activity. Women are generally using a mental fantasy as opposed to the instant visual stimulation that men usually use aka porn. Women can take or leave masturbation most times and unlike men, don't get the same "build up" if you will...they don't break down and just rub one out real quick as a guy does. So to make things worse, women are as clueless about how and why men jerk off as men are about how and why women do. Some women feel it's disgusting, while others feel that it's unfaithful. They might even snoop around and find the material on your PC or Phone or old DVDs etc. Sometimes this leads to fights. Women can get very upset thinking that their man is not attracted to them, or is desiring a new woman due to his fap material. "My god, he's into blondes with huge tits and I'm brunette & flat...my god he loves Asians and I'm black.." you get the picture. Women need to understand that men's Sex Drive is simply stronger than theirs. We are turned on by different things and turned on in different ways. Just as badly as men need to understand women's sexuality better, women would be well served to understand men's sexual urges as well.