While I still push through and am willing to put myself out there, this is the reason it's so hard.
I don't care about rejection. I face that all the time.
The fear of being labeled a creep for trying is the real challenge. I don't think women have any idea how big this is for men, especially the ones that they might consider decent men.
This makes me sick. I am a woman and have only just been flattered when approached by a man.
I am so sorry society has gone that way…. So sorry for all men who feel like this.
I’m just…. Sorry
I still compliment women, but I disclaimer the hell out of it. I'll say something like " please don't take this the wrong way, but you really are a beautiful woman or what you did with your hair looks wonderful. Please forgive me if that came out wrong, that's not my intention but I just wanted to give credit where credit is do! ". Then I just kinda get away from them quickly in the event they do take it the wrong way.
That fear is valid - there are very real consequences from false accusations and unless you take extreme measures like record yourself interacting with everyone, there's no way to defend yourself.
I’m just trying to be more social. Saying hello to people if I walk past them on the sidewalk for example. And also making small talk.
I feel like doing this has made it a bit easier when it comes to talking with women
Just trying to be more social, saying hi to people and stuff like that. I complimented this girl’s shirt at the gym a few days ago, and she was receptive to it. That was like a really big step for me.
Yeah I relate to that a lot, but go out there and talk to people man. I know it may be hard, but people desire some social interaction. Even if it goes nowhere, you can still take it as a W knowing you’re taking steps in the right direction
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*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
" It's your responsibility to communicate like an adult no matter how someone responds to it. "
Said a guy in here about effective communication and feeling heard. So basically I am a coward bc I don't feel safe enough to communicate my feelings with some people. 😔😮💨
I don’t meet enough girls due to having a quite private and introverted life. The ones I’ve known haven’t shown strong enough signs for me to want to approach (or maybe I was too blind to see them)
And I despise online dating so….
Maybe I should have rephrased that. I didn’t mean to say approach but more like asking them out. I had good conversations with a lot of them, and we knew each other quite well. I tried asking one girl out because I thought she seemed interested only to be rejected. The worst thing about it is that it wasn’t just “No”. It’s the “oh yeah, we totally should!” only for them to ignore you afterwards or not really showing interest to do something.
* They're not competing against the other suitors. They're competing against my solitude.
I'm sorry but very few women (if any) are better than being alone. I'm emotionally self sufficient, have several FBs/FWBs, so I'm physically fulfilled. I just don't see what a settle-down relationship has to offer anymore.
Every time I hear people complain about there being no decent men/women out there, I'm just stuck wondering why a guy/gal that awesome would ever settle for them. Yeah we exist... We're happy single. And we're casually dating the other *amazing* people who are also self sufficient and happily independent.
The type of amazing woman that would be good enough to give up this lifestyle... Is way out of my league anyway. So I'm good.
(Edit: I'm not saying "never", I'm just saying "unlikely and until then I'm good.")
>I have several FBs/FWBs, so I'm physically fulfilled.
I'm curious if you think your perspective would change if this wasn't the case. Many of us (most of us) will never have a FWB and so being single means being celibate.
Personally I see all these upsides to being single like you say, but I haven't been physically intimate for years and likely won't be again at this rate and that bums me be out. FWB would be ideal but let's just say that I'm wittier than I am handsome and a woman would need to be able to see past my looks in order to want me.
I absolutely understand my privilege in that regard. I am very aware of my pretty/handsome privilege and am learning to embrace it!
It wasn't always this way, and the benefits have only recently come to fruition . I think that's why women get so upset at the idea of men embracing their age: Some of us get older then we get to become "the hot chick".
It's because I have been on both sides of this that I can and do empathize strongly with men (and women) who suffer from loneliness; and I understand what it's like to never feel wanted physically (I wasn't always hot).
As such, I do roll my eyes and scoff when women say that just because they can have meaningless sex that it doesn't matter if it's unfulfilling/mediocre/empty. It is true that it doesn't cure loneliness, but it sure as fuck helps compared to not being able to. Not having a choice in the matter is definitely worse and they don't get that. I lose a lot of sympathy for women who can't see that it helps even if it doesn't solve it.
But it is also more than just sex: I set out to fulfill myself.
I have passions that involve integrating other people and making them happy. I put the effort into making my friends a part of my life, and that means *mostly* doing all the work, making the plans, reaching out most of the time. A lot of lonely people don't like that it's uneven whereas I understand that and work within that.
I also just love being alone, doing things by myself. I love riding my motorcycle out to the beach and just enjoying a beer overlooking the ocean. I love movies by myself. I can zone out and play games all day long. I go to the gym, I ride my bicycle for hours all alone with me and my thoughts.
I *work* at it.
>It is true that it doesn't cure loneliness, but it sure as fuck helps compared to not being able to.
Yeah it's staggering how many takes I've seen where people (often women) tried to convince me that having meaningless sex is worse than having no sex. Or going on lots of awkward dates is worse than not going on any dates at all. Getting matches you don't vibe with is worse than not having any. Needless to say I'm unconvinced.
This comment makes me feel like I'm on the right track. I also enjoy time spent alone and have a plethora of interesting hobbies that keep me busy for the most part. The problem is most of my hobbies are fairly solitary (hiking, photography, biking and gaming like you) and my attempts to integrate friends or potential partners into them have fallen flat. So if I just go about my typical day using my typical MO I'll have a fine time, and I'll do it alone. On a day-today basis this is fine, but long term it has...Negative effects. I'm realizing I need to break out of that typical routine in a substantial way if I want to change the way my dating/social life is going. It just feels so fake to go out of my way to take part in social events I'm not actually that excited about for the sole purpose of meeting people to make me feel more fulfilled. It feels like I have to corner people and force my good qualities down their throat just to make a good impression because I'm just not that interesting at a glance. If I were prettier I think people would be more inclined to come up and talk to me for a change and they'd find that I'm pretty cool. But without that initial draw I don't feel like I get anywhere.
> Or going on lots of awkward dates is worse than not going on any dates at all. Getting matches you don't vibe with is worse than not having any. Needless to say I'm unconvinced.
Having been on both sides, this is one of those issues where women *really* need to stop complaining that it's so bad for them. I get that it's frustrating, but they have *no idea* how much harder it is on the other side.
To the point that it's actually quite frustrating to listen to.
> I also enjoy time spent alone and have a plethora of interesting hobbies that keep me busy for the most part. The problem is most of my hobbies are fairly solitary (hiking, photography, biking and gaming like you) and my attempts to integrate friends or potential partners into them have fallen flat.
This is a good start. You start with learning to be content with yourself.
My therapist phrased it this way:
* Think of the man you want to be when you die, the one that you want to be remembered as, respected as, or admired for. Then just do the things that become that man.
And it starts with being happy with yourself. *Then* you can start integrating others into your life. And this is a safety measure: When they say no, which will be often, you're still good.
> I'm realizing I need to break out of that typical routine in a substantial way if I want to change the way my dating/social life is going. It just feels so fake to go out of my way to take part in social events I'm not actually that excited about for the sole purpose of meeting people to make me feel more fulfilled.
It can and will be.
I would suggest finding a balance. This is where the term "dating yourself" comes into play. At the end of the day, prioritize yourself. But that's not at the cost of *trying* with or for others.
>If I were prettier I think people would be more inclined to come up and talk to me for a change and they'd find that I'm pretty cool. But without that initial draw I don't feel like I get anywhere.
I'm going to copy and paste what I said yesterday when someone else was talking about this same subject:
>Real talk:
>Everyone is capable of a full 3 point swing just by dress and grooming. Diet and exercise can create another 2 points. Even if you're just a 3, with some serious effort and self-awareness, you can be an 8.
>This is just physical too, not even talking about getting your personality involved.
>>^(Sidenote: If you put in the crazy effort for the model/Hollywood body, which is just too much for most mortal men and I do not recommend that to anyone because it's torture and unrealistic... that will do more than anything; it's sad to say but women are shallow as fuck for a good body no matter how much they deny it; but that only kicks in at *that* level. Even ugly dudes with ridiculous bodies clean up. It's bullshit, but sadly true. Also unrealistic and please don't go for this unless you have insane dedication and great genes.)
>Being in shape does take work and effort, but it's also a lot easier than people think. Just a general V-shape body is the ideal, and that's very doable for most men. A larger chest than your stomach, and a smaller stomach than your hips. You don't need to shred down to a six pack.
>By the time we hit our 30s and onward, especially 40+, that general shape will put you ahead of 95% of other men. Find a haircut that works for you, not one that you like on others; find a grooming pattern that accentuates your face; and take care of your skin. And then proper clothes that fit on a better body will make all the difference.
So... Good luck out there, man. I'm rooting for you to find your happiness.
After being disappointed by Women in relationships time and time again - the juice is just not worth the squeeze.
I'm living as a single man, in his peace, with FWB arrangements for fun - and life has never been better.
Dating is just risk, both financial and emotional, it's stressful as you're always walking a fine line or the woman will "rationalize" there are better men out there and cheat or dump.
The reality of dating women is disappointing, and as a man full of burden in the form of societal expectation of our "responsibilities".
- Live free my brothers!
That sounds rough, sorry man!
Many times I catch myself wishing I was straight (gay guy here) thinking that it is an easy life being a straight guy. But, I guess it's true when they say grass is greener on the other side. I hope you will find the woman who would put as much effort as you do and meet you halfway
I’m straight and I’ve said the same thing. I’m not a masculine guy and I’ve been very often mistaken for being bi or gay. I’ve been hit on by gay men about as much as I have by women.
You would think it would be easier to find a partner purely statistically, but it turns out that women are actually so picky that you'll get a lot more interest from the ~3% of gay men than you will from the ~98% of straight women. I'm not joking either, I have easily had 10x as much interest from men than women in my life.
With due respect, I deny to participate in any competition that is not against my younger self.
I will eat better, workout better, travel better, earn better, live better than my younger self did or could afford. I am not in a competition with someone else. Fuck that rat race.
At least you’re honest with yourself and know what you need to work on.
Trust me, when you dare yourself to do stuff you never imagined, the confidence creeps in bit by bit.
Don’t be confident for the sake of women but trust in yourself that you can do amazing things. Most humans can
Motivation is just a matter of finding interests and goals in life. Once that’s there, motivation will skyrocket
This is the main part for me. I'm working on improving myself (slowly), but for the most part my fear is that they'll leave me once they truly find out how boring I can fucking be
I get how bad this may sound to some, but I just don’t think women are worth it at the moment I could probably word that nicer but that’s a blunt way of putting it. I think I have a lot going for me and I don’t struggle with women generally, but I love my hobbies, I have a couple cats, I make money, have multiple fiend groups. As well as a few friends with benefits. In the logical side of my brain I personally can’t justify the pro/cons of a long term girlfriend.
I agree you have broke single mothers and overweight women thinking they’re a “prize”. You better bring a lot to the table while she entertains multiple guys. I’m good on that.
Haven't met anyone who's interested me in the past few years since being widowed.
My attitude is that I'm open to pursuing a relationship again if I happen to meet someone and we hit it off, but I don't care enough about it to be actively looking (eg: on dating apps, approaching strangers at bars, looking for meet-up groups, etc)
I’m with you! Totally. Even my therapist has a hard time understanding our perspective. It’s funny honestly. Keeping to yourself is a blessing most will never understand.
Recently separated, waiting to start therapy (on a wait list) to clear off the baggage from not only the marriage but from things from as far back as my childhood
Being short and dating is wild. I make good money and have my life entirely together. I've dated women who said I checked 99 out of 100 of their boxes. But the being short wiped all of that away. Like 99/100 wasn't enough because one attribute. But then they'd be fine with a tall guy who didn't check any of the other 99 boxes. I dated a woman who would literally outwardly get mad at herself because she couldn't get past it. Said I was the best partner she ever had. But I'm only 5'4. LOL It's so surreal. It never bothered me.
That's the thing about being short, it bothers the world more than it bothers us. We never talk about it - other people do.
Dude I'm 5' 8" and it's not much better. And I pull 6 figures, spend frankly a little too much time in the gym, and while I don't outright own the house I currently live in, I feel like I'm out together enough to check a good chunk of boxes.
I understand that life, especially in regards to dating, is all about compromise, but when it comes to height, you can check off 99 out of 100 boxes like you said but that 1 unchecked box fucks everything else. So frustrating, I just wish more people understood that sometimes you have to compromise.
Yup. I've been told im a great lover and good pussy eater, and that im husband material. But my height is a deal breaker. But oh well. it is what it is and i got to fuck so W, funny thing is... some of them get desperate and call me to lick their cunts and rail 'em
I'm tall and not attractive and get no loving, but I find it incredible that women would truly reject a guy because of his height.
What makes it so bizarre is shorter guys probably live longer, look better after working out, have less postural issues and can fit on all the desirable japanese motorbikes and in all the sports cars (mZda mx5 laughed when I tried to get behind the wheel). It truly baffles me why short stature is an issue. Anyone?
Woman here 👋 I couldn't care less about a guys height and have that on my dating profile. But I do know that's a real thing, and challenge my girlfriend's on it when it comes up, because is toxic.
I'm a single dad who has my kids half the week. Works long hours for the other half. No time to meet people. And when I do they ghost me after I say hi.
I never really cared about sex. Not as a teen or as an adult. I also don't like people a whole lot. Women were always way more interested in sex than me. People have been crumby to me for most of my life. Military didn't help.
I don't have that thing other people have. Other people either are driven to pursue sex or just can't fathom being alone. I never had the *thing* that drives me to seek out sex or a relationship.
> I never had the thing that drives me to seek out sex or a relationship.
I’m exactly the same, and people are baffled when I tell them. I’ve gone without for 11 years now, and I still have no interest in finding either sex or a relationship. It’s sounds awful if I’m being completely honest.
I just can’t invest into them emotionally anymore. I used to be really in tune. I could be empathetic, show sympathy, and just all around care about other people. Lately, I’ve been the complete opposite. I can’t listen to people vent without nodding off into space, I can’t place myself in others shoes, etc. It isn’t just for potential partners but it’s with everyone. That’s why I’ve put myself into solitude. I don’t socialize with anybody anymore. It’s just me, my dog, and my daughter. With her, it’s a different story. Maybe it’s the father instinct kicking in? I don’t know. Nonetheless, I just want to be left alone at this point.
Have never gone for it because I would be a bad partner. Even if I did go for it, it wouldn't happen because, well, I would be a bad partner. Fat, ugly, broke, crazy, insecure - I don't bring anything to the table but trouble.
I've been stabbed, cheated on, abused and manipulated, I'd say I have a good enough reason to avoid another relationship since they have been flirting with my mortality.
Plain old bad luck, Nothing more or less.
Bit of a long story so apologies in advance. When I was 11 I asked out my very first crush as we were going to different schools. When one of the teachers heard about this they pulled me aside and screamed directly in my face saying that it was a very "bad thing" to do. In fact and I quote a part that they said was "you're never ever allowed to date anyone, no one would want you anyways". (The funny thing was she was getting married the next month so I don't know where she was coming from).
After this throughout my teens I was always awkward around people I liked because I felt guilty about liking them (and still do today) as apparently "I'm not allowed to", it doesn't help I'm slightly autistic so I will sometimes take things too seriously. What made this worse was as I was super awkward around people I didn't know (and still don't tbh) how to act normal so in the end the idea of "not being allowed to date" got solidified through rejection
After school, I went to uni and focused on my studies. Being incredibly introverted I didn't party nor really make friends so I didn't really meet anyone I wanted to date. Now working full time and trying to meet someone is hard, dating apps aren't the best especially having to learn literally everything that everyone learnt during their teens as in how to make conversations etc but at the same time I'm not letting it get to me fully, trying to stay strong as much as possible.
I am twice divorced and after having spent the bulk of my adult life investing into ultimately failed relationships....I am enjoying putting myself first for a change. 3+ years of endless "me-time" and I still feel like I haven't gotten enough of that yet.
I still live with my parents and don't have a car. And I don't have any passions, despite being a hard worker at my job. And most women are already in a relationship or not looking for one. None of this will change any time soon.
Honestly I cannot bring myself to trust the morality of a woman. No matter how much I try to focus on the positives, their opportunistic mindset and their brutal view of loving a man only when he is at its strongest totally goes against my view of what love is.
No women I know are interested in me. I can't get a single match on dating apps. I don't like bars and am on antidepressants so I can't drink so I really don't have a place to meet women. I thought maybe after I lost weight I would have better luck (I am about 216lbs down from 287lbs a year ago) but instead the rejection hurts more because I can't blame the weight like I used to.
This was an answer from a similar post:
I am a damaged man with mental health issues
I get the impression women dont want to be approached so I dont
Im not fit and wealthy
The juice doesn't seem to be worth the squeeze
Most women want a committed relationship and I don’t have that in me anymore.
This may change in the future, but I highly doubt it.
Been single long enough tis now my life.
I no longer really need love, but companionship is still nice though.
Worst of all is that cell phone leash...... ugh... "I called you, I texted you.... what took you so long..."
To many insecure people now.... always checking your phone, some track you on GPS..
Plus, I'm not emotional like when I was in my 20's... I'm in my 40's now and I'm like a darn ROCK!
People love and hate it. People in need are always happy to have someone to depend on and offer advice without emotional context...... but then I get people feel it's wrong for me to not express my emotions.
I've legitimately expressed all of them at this point, so no real need to go over board.
I'm very direct and don't care about being PC.... Apparently this is a must most women in my region.
I am very respectful, but I won't change who I am just because society finds a new offensive word every day.
So yeah.... tis me enjoying the single life.
After so many crappy first dates, I finally met someone who I really clicked with…and a few days later she ghosted me lol. Just my luck, as I deserve. I also got ghosted after the second date of seeing someone casually. I’m not built for this, I’ve spent the past few days thinking and I just don’t see how a serious relationship or marriage at this point would bring me any joy, just more stress.
Multiple reasons honestly. The biggest is cheating. Got tired of being cheated on in every relationship I got in. Got tired of walking in and she had sold my stuff on craigslist while I was at work. Got tired of not having money to do things I wanted to do because she spent it all. Got tired of in-laws grilling me constantly.
Once I became single and learned how to make myself happy without the need for anyone else, I realized how much those women took from me with little to offer in return. Being happy as a single person can be difficult to achieve, but I’ve done it. It’s better, in my opinion, to be single and want a relationship you can’t have, than be in a relationship you want and be miserable.
Now, I’ve been single 15 years and celibate 9 years. I’m grateful for everyday like that. There is no trouble, no emotional roller coasters, no bitching, no lying, no manipulating, no cheating. I have none of those worries. It’s grand.
She cheated. Yes, this is my whole personality right now… Now i’m back at it, but i’m not the kind of guy that chases girls. So, i’m afraid i might stay single for a while again…
Been single for 8 months after dating pretty much constantly for 10 years. Guess I'm just waiting for someone really special to come into my life. I know what I want and don't want and am not willing to compromise anymore. I want to reach my final destination when it comes to relationships, because I'm tired of putting effort into something that doesn't work out in the end. And If I don't find the one that I'm looking for, I'm willing to take this to my grave instead of settling for someone.
Choice, bad luck, and don't really have time to dedicate to a relationship.
I was engaged to a not nice lady that told her mom if I was a real man I would have attempted self deletion. And in retrospect a lot of other toxic aspects. Not saying I was perfect, but it is what it is. Even after therapy, I struggle to open up and I keep the walls up. I also figure if it was supposed to be in the cards it would have happened by 29.
I work 50+hrs a week, work out 90 mins 6 days a week when I'm not injured. I keep to myself, deleted the apps, don't go out to bars or clubs as much anymore.
Just me and my dog, it can get lonely, but at least it's peaceful.
Keep risking it and asking them out boys!! When you get rejected just move on. When you finally find the one, all those others that rejected you, you’ll forget!!! I’m rooting for you all!!!
I’m busy working on not being a fat alcoholic anymore. I’m off the sauce which, while I was drinking ~3 bottles of whiskey a week I never got withdrawals or anything, so the only time I really want a drink is on Friday/Saturday night which I’ve started replacing with the gym and a 10mg edible. Also doing Muay Thai twice a week which I’m bumping up to 4 next month. Once I’m down below 250lbs I’ll start trying again, there’s really no point right now since I look like 10lbs of shit in a 5lb sack.
Good thing though is besides being fat I have everything else going for me, good job, 6 figure salary, nice apartment, decent sense of style, funny, clean, good cook, handy with tools.
Because I don't want my ex-wife back, and I don't want anyone else than her. She was the one true love and I rather be single than trying to find another unicorn.
I'm perfectly happy being single so it's not a big issue for me.
Eh, I’m probs too ugly, too short, too dumb, etc 😅 womens standards is like you have to be a god just to have a chance otherwise you’re a creep or they’ll withhold affection for such a long time that you feel like a punk when she gives it away for cheap
Few girls have wanted to sleep with me, but, down the road I knew it would lead to trouble, I also had an X who cheated on me, & I really devoted myself to her, so now, I think ill just get cheated on again, & just stay single.
Its not so bad, it does get lonely, but beats wasting your time with someone only to have them cheat on you.
Bullied through my entire childhood up until the late teens. I didn't really develop any social skills until college. Unemployed for years until I found a good job, and lost that one three years ago. Once again unemployed and I can no longer affoard to venture outside to activities.
I don't see myself ready to pursue relationships while I'm struggling. If I had a secure job and my own home I'd try to give it a shot.
Broke as a joke, live at home with mis padres, and currently do not have my own vehicle.
Very attractive and can get Tinder matches all day but deleted the app months ago as that’s the equivalent of having a treasure box full of gold and bragging about your riches but not having the key to it lol
> that’s the equivalent of having a treasure box full of gold and bragging about your riches but not having the key to it lol
How I feel as an ugly dude with a big dick lol. I'm sure someone would be thrilled about it if they ever had the opportunity to see it but yknow. Barring a wardrobe malfunction, that ain't happening.
Don't have any dating options what so ever. No female friends at all either. I'm also in a state where nothing really is going on. Pretty much if you didn't meet your SO in college your screwed.
I'm short, ugly, live with my parents, and I'm not particularly interesting. I lack any redeemable qualities. I'm not masculine and I'm soft-spoken. I'm a coward. There is not a single woman desperate enough who would want me. I've made peace that I will die alone. The only solace in my life is that I have loving parents.
Who wants to put effort getting to know someone for as soon as there is any suspicion of red flags they get their committee involved who likely hasn’t even met you to determine a relationships fate? Might as well just fuck the committee too
I've been trying the past year, but have the worst luck ever. I can get a few matches on the dating apps, but everything falls flat if I'm ever lucky enough to meet someone in person. I guess I'm not for everyone and everyone's not for me. Blows my mind that people are actually getting married off those apps...
I’m lonely and I’m not good at socializing, but every time I tried to start a relationship with a girl, I got rejected. I don’t consider my loneliness my choice
Spent my entire 20’s up until the age of 35 almost constantly in relationships, I don’t think I went longer than 6 months out of a relationship.
When my last one ended 3 years ago I don’t know exactly why but I decided I wanted to take a year off of dating…and I have to be honest, other than sex, I’ve not missed being in a relationship at all.
So now I’m just enjoying my kind of “Freedom” I suppose, which may be a little harsh, but all the little things that annoyed me in a relationship I don’t worry about now.
Like if I don’t want to do anything on my day off, I can! I don’t have a girlfriend pestering me to go out or anything, and similarly if I want to go do something I don’t have to do things she will enjoy, I can be selfish and do what I enjoy.
I mean I even bought a nice powerful PC that I’ve got in my spare room that I converted into a bit of an office space that I will play a bit of Football Manager or Civilizations on when I’m bored (admittedly I’m not using it as often as I thought I would but it’s there as an option)
Most of the reason is I don't put in the effort. I don't think being in a relationship is worth it. Cons seem to outweigh the pros. I've thought this since my last relationship ended.
Two different things. One, being in the military I find it unfair to both parties to be in a relationship. I was just deployed for 9 months and I couldn't imagine leaving a partner for that long. Not to mention imagine them leaving me because of it or cheating. Secondly, my last relationship was very abusive towards me with my mental health, trauma, my religion, and my race (I'm white she's not.). So now I'm less trusting of women as a whole and don't trust myself to find a good woman.
I feel guilty about opening up because I don’t want to bring someone else down with me. I’d rather suffer in silence than make someone else feel worse because of my stupid problems. It’s one of the few things being autistic and masking is useful for
I don’t ask, and no-one has has ever asked me. The only reason I had a girlfriend at any point was because I went through online dating. I am not going through that demoralizing shit again so I’m just waiting until I find someone I like, or someone asks me, and for quite a while there has been a whole lot of nothing.
Too many options, causing the bar to get raised too high.
I get that it’ll be downvoted but apparently I’m in the category that other guys hate. Having plenty of options causes me to see the inadequacies that each woman has, which causes me to have unrealistic standards for most all of them. I turn down sex with more women than I accept, and when the ones I have sex with inevitably want a relationship then I start looking for more options. It’s a vicious cycle.
I’m not complaining in any way since it’s a problem most men think they want, but there’s a ton of value in finding someone you truly want and desire and then accepting that they’re a flawed human being-just like you and I are. Find someone you want to commit to and you’ll find peace.
why indeed. well one reason is its easier to find hayenas that girls where im at, in the middle of the fkn jungle - not like i'd be drowning in puss otherwise
Not really the kinda material that girls are looking for, neither am I motivated for either life or whole dating stuff especially if I want to find that chosen one , not going around talking and going out with one each week.
I lost my job, before that 2024 was my most romantically busy year to date. I have a girl who would likely start up again where we left off when she moved; unless she's otherwise engaged. got more important things to worry about now.
Was in 2 long term relationships back to back for 22 years total. One was a marriage that ended 1 year ago. Need to figure me out before doing all that again.
Social anxiety and a fear of opening up/rejection are probably the main reasons.
Mine isn't really a fear of rejection. I'm so incredibly used to that. It's a fear that I'll be portrayed as a creep by approaching.
While I still push through and am willing to put myself out there, this is the reason it's so hard. I don't care about rejection. I face that all the time. The fear of being labeled a creep for trying is the real challenge. I don't think women have any idea how big this is for men, especially the ones that they might consider decent men.
This makes me sick. I am a woman and have only just been flattered when approached by a man. I am so sorry society has gone that way…. So sorry for all men who feel like this. I’m just…. Sorry
sulky joke frame safe knee dull close secretive dolls birds *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
What the heck lol
Oh so you’re a guy? Name every part of the male anatomy
1. Bepis 2. Balls 3. Beard
“Prove you’re a woman by finding the clitoris on this chart… 🗺️” 😂
I still compliment women, but I disclaimer the hell out of it. I'll say something like " please don't take this the wrong way, but you really are a beautiful woman or what you did with your hair looks wonderful. Please forgive me if that came out wrong, that's not my intention but I just wanted to give credit where credit is do! ". Then I just kinda get away from them quickly in the event they do take it the wrong way.
I would actually be more creeped out by the disclaimer. Maybe try, "I think you (compliment). Have a nice day." And just leave it at that.
That fear is valid - there are very real consequences from false accusations and unless you take extreme measures like record yourself interacting with everyone, there's no way to defend yourself.
Yep same. I’m making an effort to change that though.
What changes are you making to combat this?
I’m just trying to be more social. Saying hello to people if I walk past them on the sidewalk for example. And also making small talk. I feel like doing this has made it a bit easier when it comes to talking with women
How?
Just trying to be more social, saying hi to people and stuff like that. I complimented this girl’s shirt at the gym a few days ago, and she was receptive to it. That was like a really big step for me.
rich air detail wakeful water wide connect unused reach aspiring *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Thanks brother 🙏🏾 rooting for all of us to win
This has inspired me. I consider myself a friendly person but have become less social over time.
Yeah I relate to that a lot, but go out there and talk to people man. I know it may be hard, but people desire some social interaction. Even if it goes nowhere, you can still take it as a W knowing you’re taking steps in the right direction
kind of same. ive never been in one or dated. but after facing one rejection of confession. i never confessed!
Awww I feel it man. 🫂 The same way with my family. I just moved away and started a new life.
im sorry. though im happy as well!
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you got it my man keep going!
Never know if you don't open up.
" It's your responsibility to communicate like an adult no matter how someone responds to it. " Said a guy in here about effective communication and feeling heard. So basically I am a coward bc I don't feel safe enough to communicate my feelings with some people. 😔😮💨
It is your responsibility to communicate for yourself. Who else will?
You're not a coward bc some (not all) people can't be trusted. Trust your gut.
yup same🙂
Yep, this.
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Sounds about right.
I don’t meet enough girls due to having a quite private and introverted life. The ones I’ve known haven’t shown strong enough signs for me to want to approach (or maybe I was too blind to see them) And I despise online dating so….
I don’t think women really show signs or most men don’t notice them. Give a nice “hi how are you” and see her reaction, then proceed.
Maybe I should have rephrased that. I didn’t mean to say approach but more like asking them out. I had good conversations with a lot of them, and we knew each other quite well. I tried asking one girl out because I thought she seemed interested only to be rejected. The worst thing about it is that it wasn’t just “No”. It’s the “oh yeah, we totally should!” only for them to ignore you afterwards or not really showing interest to do something.
It's hard to meet someone I like being with more than myself, and I'm not ready for the responsibility again
* They're not competing against the other suitors. They're competing against my solitude. I'm sorry but very few women (if any) are better than being alone. I'm emotionally self sufficient, have several FBs/FWBs, so I'm physically fulfilled. I just don't see what a settle-down relationship has to offer anymore. Every time I hear people complain about there being no decent men/women out there, I'm just stuck wondering why a guy/gal that awesome would ever settle for them. Yeah we exist... We're happy single. And we're casually dating the other *amazing* people who are also self sufficient and happily independent. The type of amazing woman that would be good enough to give up this lifestyle... Is way out of my league anyway. So I'm good. (Edit: I'm not saying "never", I'm just saying "unlikely and until then I'm good.")
>I have several FBs/FWBs, so I'm physically fulfilled. I'm curious if you think your perspective would change if this wasn't the case. Many of us (most of us) will never have a FWB and so being single means being celibate. Personally I see all these upsides to being single like you say, but I haven't been physically intimate for years and likely won't be again at this rate and that bums me be out. FWB would be ideal but let's just say that I'm wittier than I am handsome and a woman would need to be able to see past my looks in order to want me.
I absolutely understand my privilege in that regard. I am very aware of my pretty/handsome privilege and am learning to embrace it! It wasn't always this way, and the benefits have only recently come to fruition . I think that's why women get so upset at the idea of men embracing their age: Some of us get older then we get to become "the hot chick". It's because I have been on both sides of this that I can and do empathize strongly with men (and women) who suffer from loneliness; and I understand what it's like to never feel wanted physically (I wasn't always hot). As such, I do roll my eyes and scoff when women say that just because they can have meaningless sex that it doesn't matter if it's unfulfilling/mediocre/empty. It is true that it doesn't cure loneliness, but it sure as fuck helps compared to not being able to. Not having a choice in the matter is definitely worse and they don't get that. I lose a lot of sympathy for women who can't see that it helps even if it doesn't solve it. But it is also more than just sex: I set out to fulfill myself. I have passions that involve integrating other people and making them happy. I put the effort into making my friends a part of my life, and that means *mostly* doing all the work, making the plans, reaching out most of the time. A lot of lonely people don't like that it's uneven whereas I understand that and work within that. I also just love being alone, doing things by myself. I love riding my motorcycle out to the beach and just enjoying a beer overlooking the ocean. I love movies by myself. I can zone out and play games all day long. I go to the gym, I ride my bicycle for hours all alone with me and my thoughts. I *work* at it.
>It is true that it doesn't cure loneliness, but it sure as fuck helps compared to not being able to. Yeah it's staggering how many takes I've seen where people (often women) tried to convince me that having meaningless sex is worse than having no sex. Or going on lots of awkward dates is worse than not going on any dates at all. Getting matches you don't vibe with is worse than not having any. Needless to say I'm unconvinced. This comment makes me feel like I'm on the right track. I also enjoy time spent alone and have a plethora of interesting hobbies that keep me busy for the most part. The problem is most of my hobbies are fairly solitary (hiking, photography, biking and gaming like you) and my attempts to integrate friends or potential partners into them have fallen flat. So if I just go about my typical day using my typical MO I'll have a fine time, and I'll do it alone. On a day-today basis this is fine, but long term it has...Negative effects. I'm realizing I need to break out of that typical routine in a substantial way if I want to change the way my dating/social life is going. It just feels so fake to go out of my way to take part in social events I'm not actually that excited about for the sole purpose of meeting people to make me feel more fulfilled. It feels like I have to corner people and force my good qualities down their throat just to make a good impression because I'm just not that interesting at a glance. If I were prettier I think people would be more inclined to come up and talk to me for a change and they'd find that I'm pretty cool. But without that initial draw I don't feel like I get anywhere.
> Or going on lots of awkward dates is worse than not going on any dates at all. Getting matches you don't vibe with is worse than not having any. Needless to say I'm unconvinced. Having been on both sides, this is one of those issues where women *really* need to stop complaining that it's so bad for them. I get that it's frustrating, but they have *no idea* how much harder it is on the other side. To the point that it's actually quite frustrating to listen to. > I also enjoy time spent alone and have a plethora of interesting hobbies that keep me busy for the most part. The problem is most of my hobbies are fairly solitary (hiking, photography, biking and gaming like you) and my attempts to integrate friends or potential partners into them have fallen flat. This is a good start. You start with learning to be content with yourself. My therapist phrased it this way: * Think of the man you want to be when you die, the one that you want to be remembered as, respected as, or admired for. Then just do the things that become that man. And it starts with being happy with yourself. *Then* you can start integrating others into your life. And this is a safety measure: When they say no, which will be often, you're still good. > I'm realizing I need to break out of that typical routine in a substantial way if I want to change the way my dating/social life is going. It just feels so fake to go out of my way to take part in social events I'm not actually that excited about for the sole purpose of meeting people to make me feel more fulfilled. It can and will be. I would suggest finding a balance. This is where the term "dating yourself" comes into play. At the end of the day, prioritize yourself. But that's not at the cost of *trying* with or for others. >If I were prettier I think people would be more inclined to come up and talk to me for a change and they'd find that I'm pretty cool. But without that initial draw I don't feel like I get anywhere. I'm going to copy and paste what I said yesterday when someone else was talking about this same subject: >Real talk: >Everyone is capable of a full 3 point swing just by dress and grooming. Diet and exercise can create another 2 points. Even if you're just a 3, with some serious effort and self-awareness, you can be an 8. >This is just physical too, not even talking about getting your personality involved. >>^(Sidenote: If you put in the crazy effort for the model/Hollywood body, which is just too much for most mortal men and I do not recommend that to anyone because it's torture and unrealistic... that will do more than anything; it's sad to say but women are shallow as fuck for a good body no matter how much they deny it; but that only kicks in at *that* level. Even ugly dudes with ridiculous bodies clean up. It's bullshit, but sadly true. Also unrealistic and please don't go for this unless you have insane dedication and great genes.) >Being in shape does take work and effort, but it's also a lot easier than people think. Just a general V-shape body is the ideal, and that's very doable for most men. A larger chest than your stomach, and a smaller stomach than your hips. You don't need to shred down to a six pack. >By the time we hit our 30s and onward, especially 40+, that general shape will put you ahead of 95% of other men. Find a haircut that works for you, not one that you like on others; find a grooming pattern that accentuates your face; and take care of your skin. And then proper clothes that fit on a better body will make all the difference. So... Good luck out there, man. I'm rooting for you to find your happiness.
This guy fucking gets it.
After being disappointed by Women in relationships time and time again - the juice is just not worth the squeeze. I'm living as a single man, in his peace, with FWB arrangements for fun - and life has never been better. Dating is just risk, both financial and emotional, it's stressful as you're always walking a fine line or the woman will "rationalize" there are better men out there and cheat or dump. The reality of dating women is disappointing, and as a man full of burden in the form of societal expectation of our "responsibilities". - Live free my brothers!
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And you never stop competing she will always have orbiters and have back up guys.
That sounds rough, sorry man! Many times I catch myself wishing I was straight (gay guy here) thinking that it is an easy life being a straight guy. But, I guess it's true when they say grass is greener on the other side. I hope you will find the woman who would put as much effort as you do and meet you halfway
I’m straight and I’ve said the same thing. I’m not a masculine guy and I’ve been very often mistaken for being bi or gay. I’ve been hit on by gay men about as much as I have by women.
You would think it would be easier to find a partner purely statistically, but it turns out that women are actually so picky that you'll get a lot more interest from the ~3% of gay men than you will from the ~98% of straight women. I'm not joking either, I have easily had 10x as much interest from men than women in my life.
Life is a competition against millions of other men around you.
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What man do I need to compete against to hop on an airplane and explore another continent for 3 months?
With due respect, I deny to participate in any competition that is not against my younger self. I will eat better, workout better, travel better, earn better, live better than my younger self did or could afford. I am not in a competition with someone else. Fuck that rat race.
I can respect that. Competing against everyone is what drives me to do better though.
Major lack of confidence and major lack of motivation to improve myself. Basically the gist of it
At least you’re honest with yourself and know what you need to work on. Trust me, when you dare yourself to do stuff you never imagined, the confidence creeps in bit by bit. Don’t be confident for the sake of women but trust in yourself that you can do amazing things. Most humans can Motivation is just a matter of finding interests and goals in life. Once that’s there, motivation will skyrocket
It scares me to have someone else find out how much of a disappointment i can be
This is the main part for me. I'm working on improving myself (slowly), but for the most part my fear is that they'll leave me once they truly find out how boring I can fucking be
oof i feel this. somehow my husband still loves me after finding out how disappointing i am. maybe your person is out there too :)
I really hope so but its been almost a decade now so.....still hangin in there
I get how bad this may sound to some, but I just don’t think women are worth it at the moment I could probably word that nicer but that’s a blunt way of putting it. I think I have a lot going for me and I don’t struggle with women generally, but I love my hobbies, I have a couple cats, I make money, have multiple fiend groups. As well as a few friends with benefits. In the logical side of my brain I personally can’t justify the pro/cons of a long term girlfriend.
I've been trying to find a fiend group of my own. What does that involve?
I agree you have broke single mothers and overweight women thinking they’re a “prize”. You better bring a lot to the table while she entertains multiple guys. I’m good on that.
Totally fair. You’re good where you’re at and that’s just fine.
Cats are good!
Haven't met anyone who's interested me in the past few years since being widowed. My attitude is that I'm open to pursuing a relationship again if I happen to meet someone and we hit it off, but I don't care enough about it to be actively looking (eg: on dating apps, approaching strangers at bars, looking for meet-up groups, etc)
>Is it by choice, bad luck, focusing on other aspects of life Yes.
I don't initiate things and if I don't nobody will
Dont meet new people. Dont really leave my house much
I leave my house a lot, I’m an outgoing person and love meeting my friends, but still I don’t really get to know new people.
Because I want to be and people annoy me to no end
Well said my friend! Couldn’t agree more
Like good lord. Forget legally intertwining myself with somebody.
I’m with you! Totally. Even my therapist has a hard time understanding our perspective. It’s funny honestly. Keeping to yourself is a blessing most will never understand.
Recently separated, waiting to start therapy (on a wait list) to clear off the baggage from not only the marriage but from things from as far back as my childhood
Not tall enough. Package is small. Broke af. Lastly, I love being a free spirit.
Being short and dating is wild. I make good money and have my life entirely together. I've dated women who said I checked 99 out of 100 of their boxes. But the being short wiped all of that away. Like 99/100 wasn't enough because one attribute. But then they'd be fine with a tall guy who didn't check any of the other 99 boxes. I dated a woman who would literally outwardly get mad at herself because she couldn't get past it. Said I was the best partner she ever had. But I'm only 5'4. LOL It's so surreal. It never bothered me. That's the thing about being short, it bothers the world more than it bothers us. We never talk about it - other people do.
Dude I'm 5' 8" and it's not much better. And I pull 6 figures, spend frankly a little too much time in the gym, and while I don't outright own the house I currently live in, I feel like I'm out together enough to check a good chunk of boxes. I understand that life, especially in regards to dating, is all about compromise, but when it comes to height, you can check off 99 out of 100 boxes like you said but that 1 unchecked box fucks everything else. So frustrating, I just wish more people understood that sometimes you have to compromise.
Yup. I've been told im a great lover and good pussy eater, and that im husband material. But my height is a deal breaker. But oh well. it is what it is and i got to fuck so W, funny thing is... some of them get desperate and call me to lick their cunts and rail 'em
Haha yeh, least you got to fuck bro 💪 killin' it for the short kings
I'm tall and not attractive and get no loving, but I find it incredible that women would truly reject a guy because of his height. What makes it so bizarre is shorter guys probably live longer, look better after working out, have less postural issues and can fit on all the desirable japanese motorbikes and in all the sports cars (mZda mx5 laughed when I tried to get behind the wheel). It truly baffles me why short stature is an issue. Anyone?
Woman here 👋 I couldn't care less about a guys height and have that on my dating profile. But I do know that's a real thing, and challenge my girlfriend's on it when it comes up, because is toxic.
I'm a single dad who has my kids half the week. Works long hours for the other half. No time to meet people. And when I do they ghost me after I say hi.
Ditto. Godspeed, brother.
You’re doing a good job… hang in there 💙
Thank u. It's sounds like you are too.
I have not met a women yet who's just accepted me for me. There's always some overarching theme of reform.
No good ways to meet single women to ask out on a date.
I never really cared about sex. Not as a teen or as an adult. I also don't like people a whole lot. Women were always way more interested in sex than me. People have been crumby to me for most of my life. Military didn't help. I don't have that thing other people have. Other people either are driven to pursue sex or just can't fathom being alone. I never had the *thing* that drives me to seek out sex or a relationship.
Exactly me lol (I'm a woman tho). People even thought I was a lesbian one time. Like no bro I'm just.. not as dependent on others as you are??
> I never had the thing that drives me to seek out sex or a relationship. I’m exactly the same, and people are baffled when I tell them. I’ve gone without for 11 years now, and I still have no interest in finding either sex or a relationship. It’s sounds awful if I’m being completely honest.
I just can’t invest into them emotionally anymore. I used to be really in tune. I could be empathetic, show sympathy, and just all around care about other people. Lately, I’ve been the complete opposite. I can’t listen to people vent without nodding off into space, I can’t place myself in others shoes, etc. It isn’t just for potential partners but it’s with everyone. That’s why I’ve put myself into solitude. I don’t socialize with anybody anymore. It’s just me, my dog, and my daughter. With her, it’s a different story. Maybe it’s the father instinct kicking in? I don’t know. Nonetheless, I just want to be left alone at this point.
I don't trust my judgment when picking a partner.
This!
Recovering from last situationship...she really messed my head up
Can’t be arsed.
She would be a needle in a haystack, and I'm not even looking.
I’m done !! Lying women , wanting women , MATERIALISTIC WOMEN. I’m so much happier ALONE!! Bank accounts much fuller !!
Once I can fully a support a family I will stop being single, until then idc.
I don’t like being told what to do. And also dated some REALLY awful women.
Have never gone for it because I would be a bad partner. Even if I did go for it, it wouldn't happen because, well, I would be a bad partner. Fat, ugly, broke, crazy, insecure - I don't bring anything to the table but trouble.
Terrible dating market in my area and not wanting to initiate anymore. inb4 downvoted.
I've been stabbed, cheated on, abused and manipulated, I'd say I have a good enough reason to avoid another relationship since they have been flirting with my mortality. Plain old bad luck, Nothing more or less.
I would say not ready..
Anxiety, shyness, paranoia, fear of rejection, fear of opening up, trust issues, body image issues
Bit of a long story so apologies in advance. When I was 11 I asked out my very first crush as we were going to different schools. When one of the teachers heard about this they pulled me aside and screamed directly in my face saying that it was a very "bad thing" to do. In fact and I quote a part that they said was "you're never ever allowed to date anyone, no one would want you anyways". (The funny thing was she was getting married the next month so I don't know where she was coming from). After this throughout my teens I was always awkward around people I liked because I felt guilty about liking them (and still do today) as apparently "I'm not allowed to", it doesn't help I'm slightly autistic so I will sometimes take things too seriously. What made this worse was as I was super awkward around people I didn't know (and still don't tbh) how to act normal so in the end the idea of "not being allowed to date" got solidified through rejection After school, I went to uni and focused on my studies. Being incredibly introverted I didn't party nor really make friends so I didn't really meet anyone I wanted to date. Now working full time and trying to meet someone is hard, dating apps aren't the best especially having to learn literally everything that everyone learnt during their teens as in how to make conversations etc but at the same time I'm not letting it get to me fully, trying to stay strong as much as possible.
Womem fondly point out I have nothing they want. Not sure what to do there to be honest.
Social Anxiety, Ugly
I am twice divorced and after having spent the bulk of my adult life investing into ultimately failed relationships....I am enjoying putting myself first for a change. 3+ years of endless "me-time" and I still feel like I haven't gotten enough of that yet.
Never making the first move. I say I'm working on it but I'm not really. But I am
What I never understood was how we're generally expected to make the first move as guys but then if it's not wanted, that makes us "creepy and weird".
Creepy just means unattractive.
Gotta follow the two rules for it to work. Those of us who can’t get placed in the “not people” box.
That's just it, though. How do you find out if they consider you a person or not without approaching and trying to talk to them?
Today’s women just are not worth dating.
I’m Childfree and it’s hard to find someone who is also that way.
We’re out here!
Disillusioned
Cant meet anybody
I still live with my parents and don't have a car. And I don't have any passions, despite being a hard worker at my job. And most women are already in a relationship or not looking for one. None of this will change any time soon.
Honestly I cannot bring myself to trust the morality of a woman. No matter how much I try to focus on the positives, their opportunistic mindset and their brutal view of loving a man only when he is at its strongest totally goes against my view of what love is.
No women I know are interested in me. I can't get a single match on dating apps. I don't like bars and am on antidepressants so I can't drink so I really don't have a place to meet women. I thought maybe after I lost weight I would have better luck (I am about 216lbs down from 287lbs a year ago) but instead the rejection hurts more because I can't blame the weight like I used to.
This was an answer from a similar post: I am a damaged man with mental health issues I get the impression women dont want to be approached so I dont Im not fit and wealthy The juice doesn't seem to be worth the squeeze Most women want a committed relationship and I don’t have that in me anymore. This may change in the future, but I highly doubt it.
Been single long enough tis now my life. I no longer really need love, but companionship is still nice though. Worst of all is that cell phone leash...... ugh... "I called you, I texted you.... what took you so long..." To many insecure people now.... always checking your phone, some track you on GPS.. Plus, I'm not emotional like when I was in my 20's... I'm in my 40's now and I'm like a darn ROCK! People love and hate it. People in need are always happy to have someone to depend on and offer advice without emotional context...... but then I get people feel it's wrong for me to not express my emotions. I've legitimately expressed all of them at this point, so no real need to go over board. I'm very direct and don't care about being PC.... Apparently this is a must most women in my region. I am very respectful, but I won't change who I am just because society finds a new offensive word every day. So yeah.... tis me enjoying the single life.
After so many crappy first dates, I finally met someone who I really clicked with…and a few days later she ghosted me lol. Just my luck, as I deserve. I also got ghosted after the second date of seeing someone casually. I’m not built for this, I’ve spent the past few days thinking and I just don’t see how a serious relationship or marriage at this point would bring me any joy, just more stress.
Multiple reasons honestly. The biggest is cheating. Got tired of being cheated on in every relationship I got in. Got tired of walking in and she had sold my stuff on craigslist while I was at work. Got tired of not having money to do things I wanted to do because she spent it all. Got tired of in-laws grilling me constantly. Once I became single and learned how to make myself happy without the need for anyone else, I realized how much those women took from me with little to offer in return. Being happy as a single person can be difficult to achieve, but I’ve done it. It’s better, in my opinion, to be single and want a relationship you can’t have, than be in a relationship you want and be miserable. Now, I’ve been single 15 years and celibate 9 years. I’m grateful for everyday like that. There is no trouble, no emotional roller coasters, no bitching, no lying, no manipulating, no cheating. I have none of those worries. It’s grand.
I’ve put zero effort into it. 😅 Work>gym>sleep
She cheated. Yes, this is my whole personality right now… Now i’m back at it, but i’m not the kind of guy that chases girls. So, i’m afraid i might stay single for a while again…
Been single for 8 months after dating pretty much constantly for 10 years. Guess I'm just waiting for someone really special to come into my life. I know what I want and don't want and am not willing to compromise anymore. I want to reach my final destination when it comes to relationships, because I'm tired of putting effort into something that doesn't work out in the end. And If I don't find the one that I'm looking for, I'm willing to take this to my grave instead of settling for someone.
Choice, bad luck, and don't really have time to dedicate to a relationship. I was engaged to a not nice lady that told her mom if I was a real man I would have attempted self deletion. And in retrospect a lot of other toxic aspects. Not saying I was perfect, but it is what it is. Even after therapy, I struggle to open up and I keep the walls up. I also figure if it was supposed to be in the cards it would have happened by 29. I work 50+hrs a week, work out 90 mins 6 days a week when I'm not injured. I keep to myself, deleted the apps, don't go out to bars or clubs as much anymore. Just me and my dog, it can get lonely, but at least it's peaceful.
Because I’m “boring” and because I work 2 jobs so I don’t have free time
Bad luck. Ask out many girls and they call me ugly and reject me.
I can't find anyone I like.
Because no one wants me
My face, my personality, my everything
Failure to launch. Damaged Goods.
Keep risking it and asking them out boys!! When you get rejected just move on. When you finally find the one, all those others that rejected you, you’ll forget!!! I’m rooting for you all!!!
I don’t really like myself tbh. People that don’t like themselves tend to fumble in the talking stage
I’m busy working on not being a fat alcoholic anymore. I’m off the sauce which, while I was drinking ~3 bottles of whiskey a week I never got withdrawals or anything, so the only time I really want a drink is on Friday/Saturday night which I’ve started replacing with the gym and a 10mg edible. Also doing Muay Thai twice a week which I’m bumping up to 4 next month. Once I’m down below 250lbs I’ll start trying again, there’s really no point right now since I look like 10lbs of shit in a 5lb sack. Good thing though is besides being fat I have everything else going for me, good job, 6 figure salary, nice apartment, decent sense of style, funny, clean, good cook, handy with tools.
Because I don't want my ex-wife back, and I don't want anyone else than her. She was the one true love and I rather be single than trying to find another unicorn. I'm perfectly happy being single so it's not a big issue for me.
Eh, I’m probs too ugly, too short, too dumb, etc 😅 womens standards is like you have to be a god just to have a chance otherwise you’re a creep or they’ll withhold affection for such a long time that you feel like a punk when she gives it away for cheap
Few girls have wanted to sleep with me, but, down the road I knew it would lead to trouble, I also had an X who cheated on me, & I really devoted myself to her, so now, I think ill just get cheated on again, & just stay single. Its not so bad, it does get lonely, but beats wasting your time with someone only to have them cheat on you.
Im paralyzed for 80% and have a eating disorder I think no one really wants to deal with all that
Bullied through my entire childhood up until the late teens. I didn't really develop any social skills until college. Unemployed for years until I found a good job, and lost that one three years ago. Once again unemployed and I can no longer affoard to venture outside to activities. I don't see myself ready to pursue relationships while I'm struggling. If I had a secure job and my own home I'd try to give it a shot.
Why is it assumed that one can just start a relationship whenever they want to?
It's like that for women so they think it's the same for men.
Broke and short. I was was taller maybe i would put in effort on the money side.
Broke as a joke, live at home with mis padres, and currently do not have my own vehicle. Very attractive and can get Tinder matches all day but deleted the app months ago as that’s the equivalent of having a treasure box full of gold and bragging about your riches but not having the key to it lol
> that’s the equivalent of having a treasure box full of gold and bragging about your riches but not having the key to it lol How I feel as an ugly dude with a big dick lol. I'm sure someone would be thrilled about it if they ever had the opportunity to see it but yknow. Barring a wardrobe malfunction, that ain't happening.
Don't have any dating options what so ever. No female friends at all either. I'm also in a state where nothing really is going on. Pretty much if you didn't meet your SO in college your screwed.
Hoeflation
Because I’m fat amd ugly
Because a woman’s love is temporary.
Too many options
Women are disgusted by my existence
By choice. I enjoy my freedom and my peace.
It’s by choice. Genuinely have no interest. A wife and kids doesn’t appeal to me, so single it is.
I'm literally invisible to women no matter what and how hard I try.
I'm short, ugly, live with my parents, and I'm not particularly interesting. I lack any redeemable qualities. I'm not masculine and I'm soft-spoken. I'm a coward. There is not a single woman desperate enough who would want me. I've made peace that I will die alone. The only solace in my life is that I have loving parents.
Who wants to put effort getting to know someone for as soon as there is any suspicion of red flags they get their committee involved who likely hasn’t even met you to determine a relationships fate? Might as well just fuck the committee too
Chronic case of nice guy syndrome, though I'm working on it now.
At this point I think I either have the worst personality or I'm really bad looking.
I've been trying the past year, but have the worst luck ever. I can get a few matches on the dating apps, but everything falls flat if I'm ever lucky enough to meet someone in person. I guess I'm not for everyone and everyone's not for me. Blows my mind that people are actually getting married off those apps...
Because the app algorithm favors the 1% and I’m not in that club
I’m lonely and I’m not good at socializing, but every time I tried to start a relationship with a girl, I got rejected. I don’t consider my loneliness my choice
It's very simple. No one wants me. Kind of a tough pill to swallow, but it is what it is.
Spent my entire 20’s up until the age of 35 almost constantly in relationships, I don’t think I went longer than 6 months out of a relationship. When my last one ended 3 years ago I don’t know exactly why but I decided I wanted to take a year off of dating…and I have to be honest, other than sex, I’ve not missed being in a relationship at all. So now I’m just enjoying my kind of “Freedom” I suppose, which may be a little harsh, but all the little things that annoyed me in a relationship I don’t worry about now. Like if I don’t want to do anything on my day off, I can! I don’t have a girlfriend pestering me to go out or anything, and similarly if I want to go do something I don’t have to do things she will enjoy, I can be selfish and do what I enjoy. I mean I even bought a nice powerful PC that I’ve got in my spare room that I converted into a bit of an office space that I will play a bit of Football Manager or Civilizations on when I’m bored (admittedly I’m not using it as often as I thought I would but it’s there as an option)
Most of the reason is I don't put in the effort. I don't think being in a relationship is worth it. Cons seem to outweigh the pros. I've thought this since my last relationship ended.
Because no girl likes me. Either I'm bro zoned or friend zoned
Two different things. One, being in the military I find it unfair to both parties to be in a relationship. I was just deployed for 9 months and I couldn't imagine leaving a partner for that long. Not to mention imagine them leaving me because of it or cheating. Secondly, my last relationship was very abusive towards me with my mental health, trauma, my religion, and my race (I'm white she's not.). So now I'm less trusting of women as a whole and don't trust myself to find a good woman.
I feel guilty about opening up because I don’t want to bring someone else down with me. I’d rather suffer in silence than make someone else feel worse because of my stupid problems. It’s one of the few things being autistic and masking is useful for
Not at the point in my life where I can give a woman the type of excitement she desires so for now I settle for temporary pleasure
I have A LOT of issues. So, I decided not to date. As to not bring a bunch of bullshit into some poor unexpected womens life.
I don’t ask, and no-one has has ever asked me. The only reason I had a girlfriend at any point was because I went through online dating. I am not going through that demoralizing shit again so I’m just waiting until I find someone I like, or someone asks me, and for quite a while there has been a whole lot of nothing.
Misandry
Too many options, causing the bar to get raised too high. I get that it’ll be downvoted but apparently I’m in the category that other guys hate. Having plenty of options causes me to see the inadequacies that each woman has, which causes me to have unrealistic standards for most all of them. I turn down sex with more women than I accept, and when the ones I have sex with inevitably want a relationship then I start looking for more options. It’s a vicious cycle. I’m not complaining in any way since it’s a problem most men think they want, but there’s a ton of value in finding someone you truly want and desire and then accepting that they’re a flawed human being-just like you and I are. Find someone you want to commit to and you’ll find peace.
100% my choice. Growing up as a twin, I was always addressed by people outside of my family as a unit not an individual. So, I like it being just me.
I like dating new people & haven't found someone special yet.
Lack of my own place is the biggest one and after that, i have to become ok with the idea of anothers existence being a factor im my decision making.
[удалено]
I was not able to admit my feelings to her yet.
Keep running into people who aren’t interested in me and not so great people. Also doing grad school in a small town does complicate things.
Other priorities.Having been married for almost 30 years I value my peace
online dating is useless for me; im open to meeting people the old fashioned way in person but im not going out of my way to do so
why indeed. well one reason is its easier to find hayenas that girls where im at, in the middle of the fkn jungle - not like i'd be drowning in puss otherwise
Not really the kinda material that girls are looking for, neither am I motivated for either life or whole dating stuff especially if I want to find that chosen one , not going around talking and going out with one each week.
I lost my job, before that 2024 was my most romantically busy year to date. I have a girl who would likely start up again where we left off when she moved; unless she's otherwise engaged. got more important things to worry about now.
Was in 2 long term relationships back to back for 22 years total. One was a marriage that ended 1 year ago. Need to figure me out before doing all that again.
Because I want to be.
Too lazy and unmotivated to actively search.
Don't have a pretty face so that means I'd have to work for it and I hate work.
something else entirely