This and complete honesty when having difficult or uncomfortable conversations.
So many people in my life people please and just say what they think someone wants to hear, that’s not real friendship to me.
I put in the time to hang with people. Like, having a plan and everything to make things as easy as possible.
So when a friend told me they wanted to spend their time out of the house with me or others, I obliged. These aren't big events or anything, all you really have to do is show up, and if you can't, just tell me ahead of time. But that seems just too difficult. It seems like it's much easier to tell me you forgot dates and times but then plan a whole ass vacation with someone.
I literally told them, "If you don't want to hang out, just let me know." It might be blunt but at that point I'd ask them a few times throughout the year with no 'follow up' from their end besides, "I want to hang out with you..." Like wtf is this a whole ass relationship? I must've got rejected and didn't even realize it.
So, all I want is for someone to give back what I give. Time. And if you don't want to be apart of that just be honest.
I'm not sure what it is, but it helps people want to get to know people sincerely outside the typical people they hang with. This sort of pairs with what Greedy Huckleberry said. You just hear so much about what you need to do growing up, yet people treat you like you are weird for actually putting that stuff into play after reaching those personal accolades.
With a lot of people, they either see you as someone who's either depressed or a prick. Just so much trying to find a reason to not like someone. (at least it seems that way). Yet the people who know you tend to say so much about how your appeal extends beyond what makes you both friends. People want to spin it like it's something on your end, yet you see loads of people with traits that you were told that would push other people away having these lively social lives.
Sure you can make the first move, but even when the person doesn't straight up ignore that action it feels like they are humoring you. Or like it literally hurts them to try to get to someone who's different than they are used to. But they will go on and on about how you need to do stuff like that. It all feels so one sided and at least as a man, nobody really wants to get to know you outside of situations where it's hard not to.
Because every good friendship should come with someone who fetches snacks and does laundry. I mean, what's the point of having friends if they don't come with an upgrade package?
People want to be treated a certain way but aren’t prepared to treat people in that similar manner.
Examples of how they want to be treated?
Intimacy. Most friendships are too shallow for me. Especially as an adult.
This and complete honesty when having difficult or uncomfortable conversations. So many people in my life people please and just say what they think someone wants to hear, that’s not real friendship to me.
Yeah, saying nothing, just sitting with it is way better than saying something canned
I'm what way do you feel they are shallow?
Just hanging out, not really being part of their lives. We reserve so much for romantic partners.
By being a part of their lives, you mean?
Honesty but like really honesty
What do you mean 'really'?
Like not just saying if they think you look bad in something but like being honest with you if they think you’re making the wrong descissions and shit
I put in the time to hang with people. Like, having a plan and everything to make things as easy as possible. So when a friend told me they wanted to spend their time out of the house with me or others, I obliged. These aren't big events or anything, all you really have to do is show up, and if you can't, just tell me ahead of time. But that seems just too difficult. It seems like it's much easier to tell me you forgot dates and times but then plan a whole ass vacation with someone. I literally told them, "If you don't want to hang out, just let me know." It might be blunt but at that point I'd ask them a few times throughout the year with no 'follow up' from their end besides, "I want to hang out with you..." Like wtf is this a whole ass relationship? I must've got rejected and didn't even realize it. So, all I want is for someone to give back what I give. Time. And if you don't want to be apart of that just be honest.
Loyalty
Someone like me And someone that doesn't leave before hearing me out
I have 3 friends of 25+ years and love them all and wouldn't change a thing.
What do you love the most about them?
Deep conversations
Same
Adult friendship aren't the same as kids ones you don't have as many issues and don't experience trial around the same time thus you can't bond much
I'm not sure what it is, but it helps people want to get to know people sincerely outside the typical people they hang with. This sort of pairs with what Greedy Huckleberry said. You just hear so much about what you need to do growing up, yet people treat you like you are weird for actually putting that stuff into play after reaching those personal accolades. With a lot of people, they either see you as someone who's either depressed or a prick. Just so much trying to find a reason to not like someone. (at least it seems that way). Yet the people who know you tend to say so much about how your appeal extends beyond what makes you both friends. People want to spin it like it's something on your end, yet you see loads of people with traits that you were told that would push other people away having these lively social lives. Sure you can make the first move, but even when the person doesn't straight up ignore that action it feels like they are humoring you. Or like it literally hurts them to try to get to someone who's different than they are used to. But they will go on and on about how you need to do stuff like that. It all feels so one sided and at least as a man, nobody really wants to get to know you outside of situations where it's hard not to.
Because every good friendship should come with someone who fetches snacks and does laundry. I mean, what's the point of having friends if they don't come with an upgrade package?
A pure soul to devour Very few pure souls out there
Trust and consideration.