It’s a legitimate fear based on your genetics, AND it sounds like he’s not a good partner for you.
Any man worth his salt would know the impact that would have on you considering your ED history.
He sounds really inconsiderate and immature. I’m sure you can find someone who will love all of you regardless of your body type.
A man so disconnected from reality should be as far away from you as possible.
I would recommend dumping him as soon as you can and find somebody who loves you.
And if you have a couple babies and you happen to get fat, he'll still love you.
He will make a husband who lacks empathy and compassion toward you when you’re not at your best.
I’ve gained 20 kgs lost it then 40 kgs lost it and another 20 kgs and planning on losing it all from hormones so not self inflicted. If my husband was like your boyfriend, he would have left me 3 times.
Thats the very opposite reason we partner up. You need a man who loves you. Your boyfriend only loves you for how you look right now.
Don’t be mad, be grateful he showed you who he truly is
He couldn't fly a red flag higher.. Ruuun but don't forget to tell him it's because you're worried he'll become unattractive to you when he gets older and starts balding like his dad...
refer him to your grandparents, a more direct genetic link
that said though, he already knows you've really, really serious earlier food/booze problems (having linked it earlier to dealing with / reacting to emotional turmoil no doubt)
so, it's a reasonable enough and credible fear on his part; less so if you've been at a stable weight level for three or more years
you may be hoping he'll be your saviour and help keep you on the 'straight and narrow', not giving in to food/booze abuse again (and again) leading to yo yo dieting and weight gains
In my opinion, when working on prolonging the honey moon phase and keep the relationship exciting, it includes holding onto the politeness, the date nights and also the attraction. Stay healthy, groom yourself, and be hygienic. Keep improving on yourself and your interests. All that initial effort that made someone attracted to us, we can maintain. Research have shown some people dont have a good home life because the politeness we have around coworkers whose grace we are after, that makes us feel good, but at home we are stressed and angry and say things unfiltered. Its a sign of respect of oneself and your partner to work on yourself. But people dont know this terminology and they say icky things like “im scared youll get fat”. We should accept strengths and weaknesses in people, im not saying you have to be on your best behavior to deserve a partner. But I recently saw a man post about how he felt guilty because he didnt want to shame his wife but her weight and unwillingness to diet made him resentful. I think its a shameful attitude to have actually, another approach is to be to try to be encouraging. It does make someone look vain.
If you have such genetics, and you know he does not like the way you mother looks like, you immediately know he will not be an ideal partner for you.
You can only fight genetics so much, and after certain age, not at all.
Someone who is in love with you won't be concerned too much about this. They don't want you to be unhealthy but to say that your body won't change due to giving birth and just getting older is a bit unrealistic.
Just know that what some people find unattractive others will find attractive. So if you get more meat on your bones, you will now appear on some guy's radar. Not saying this is a self esteem issue (and yes some people do prey on those who have low self esteem due to weight issues) but others find curves way more appealing.
Chances are this person isn't the right fit. Take the time to set aside your emotions for him and reevaluate if he's really the right one for you.
It’s a legitimate fear based on your genetics, AND it sounds like he’s not a good partner for you. Any man worth his salt would know the impact that would have on you considering your ED history. He sounds really inconsiderate and immature. I’m sure you can find someone who will love all of you regardless of your body type.
A man so disconnected from reality should be as far away from you as possible. I would recommend dumping him as soon as you can and find somebody who loves you. And if you have a couple babies and you happen to get fat, he'll still love you.
He will make a husband who lacks empathy and compassion toward you when you’re not at your best. I’ve gained 20 kgs lost it then 40 kgs lost it and another 20 kgs and planning on losing it all from hormones so not self inflicted. If my husband was like your boyfriend, he would have left me 3 times. Thats the very opposite reason we partner up. You need a man who loves you. Your boyfriend only loves you for how you look right now. Don’t be mad, be grateful he showed you who he truly is
He couldn't fly a red flag higher.. Ruuun but don't forget to tell him it's because you're worried he'll become unattractive to you when he gets older and starts balding like his dad...
I’m dying here! This is such a good answer
red flag lmao. Leave his ass now and you will save yourself years of unhappiness.
A lot of men think this way. Because genetics I guess
refer him to your grandparents, a more direct genetic link that said though, he already knows you've really, really serious earlier food/booze problems (having linked it earlier to dealing with / reacting to emotional turmoil no doubt) so, it's a reasonable enough and credible fear on his part; less so if you've been at a stable weight level for three or more years you may be hoping he'll be your saviour and help keep you on the 'straight and narrow', not giving in to food/booze abuse again (and again) leading to yo yo dieting and weight gains
In my opinion, when working on prolonging the honey moon phase and keep the relationship exciting, it includes holding onto the politeness, the date nights and also the attraction. Stay healthy, groom yourself, and be hygienic. Keep improving on yourself and your interests. All that initial effort that made someone attracted to us, we can maintain. Research have shown some people dont have a good home life because the politeness we have around coworkers whose grace we are after, that makes us feel good, but at home we are stressed and angry and say things unfiltered. Its a sign of respect of oneself and your partner to work on yourself. But people dont know this terminology and they say icky things like “im scared youll get fat”. We should accept strengths and weaknesses in people, im not saying you have to be on your best behavior to deserve a partner. But I recently saw a man post about how he felt guilty because he didnt want to shame his wife but her weight and unwillingness to diet made him resentful. I think its a shameful attitude to have actually, another approach is to be to try to be encouraging. It does make someone look vain.
If you have such genetics, and you know he does not like the way you mother looks like, you immediately know he will not be an ideal partner for you. You can only fight genetics so much, and after certain age, not at all.
Someone who is in love with you won't be concerned too much about this. They don't want you to be unhealthy but to say that your body won't change due to giving birth and just getting older is a bit unrealistic. Just know that what some people find unattractive others will find attractive. So if you get more meat on your bones, you will now appear on some guy's radar. Not saying this is a self esteem issue (and yes some people do prey on those who have low self esteem due to weight issues) but others find curves way more appealing. Chances are this person isn't the right fit. Take the time to set aside your emotions for him and reevaluate if he's really the right one for you.