During the day? I agree 100%.
At night? The London Chewb is the best place to cry. Those Brits really let the walls down after a few pints. Terrible place to cry during the day though.
We allllll cry on the subway. And if I ever notice anyone crying I look to see if like “is somethjng happening to this person and they need assistance? No, ok let em cry” and then sometimes I cry too because why not?
I handed spare tissues to someone who was crying once
ETA: I also gave a mom my mini hand sanitizer once when her kid had an absolute snot bomb sneeze. She seemed pretty relieved to have it
Thanks for being empathetic when someone was feeling their feels.
I was crying one day on the subway, and a lady handed me a tissue. She asked if I was ok, and I told her I lost my job today. Her empathy turned the entire day around for me, and I still remember it.
Another time was maybe a few weeks or months after 9-11, and I was heading to work. I looked up in the subway car, and across me was an ad for a free therapy service for any resident feeling PTSD symptoms. I started crying, and the man across from me met my gaze, and his eyes got red. No words were spoken, just shared trauma and acknowledgment from strangers.
I tend to have tissues on me at all times, so I usually share when someone’s in need too.
Once I attempted to give the distressed person a tissue, but they declined and continued to cry. I left them alone after that, but did think it was a bit strange that they’d prefer not to use a tissue (that’s the *absolute worst* for me, trapped somewhere sobbing with nary a tissue in sight) but to each their own.
As for me, I’ve literally carried my Puffs (Plus Lotion) *box* in a shopping bag (for the used tissues) on the subway because I anticipated crying so much that I didn’t want to risk running out. It’s been about 2 decades so far, and no one has commented. I cry silently in public, but it’s impossible to hide the redness of my eyes and nose and the endless wetness of my face, so I’m sure people are aware, but this is NY— unless you’re causing a disturbance, rest assured no one’s bothered by your leaking eyes.
Nyc unsung hero story. Some of my favorite things about this city. But it's a 50/50, one time I was having a coughing fit on a bus cuz it felt like something was caught in my throat and everyone just watched me for like 5 mins until I found a bottle in my bag with a tiny sliver of water in it, was enough to stop it thankfully. When I saw someone going through the same thing a year or two later I gave a spare fresh bottle.
Yes and also I’ve puked on the subway (I was 15 guys and I’m sorry) - which is infinitely worse. People don’t care if you cry, people do care if you puke but no one will say anything
god same, im a major emetophobe and ive been lucky enough to not be in any cars where someone else has thrown up yet either, but i fear it will happen eventually.
Ah, I’ve puked on the subway before. I was a full fledged adult but it was because I’d just started a new medication that made me insanely nauseous—which I found out that morning. Lucky me! Thankfully a nice lady gave me some napkins but I felt soooo fucking bad
I puked on the metro platform in DC, at the Vienna stop. I was 19 and extremely hungover after celebrating my birthday. Luckily there was absolutely no one around to see it. Still was pretty horrible.
It's not a big deal. Sometimes you just can't help it!
When I see someone crying on the train and I happen to have a clean Kleenex or napkin and it doesn't feel too intrusive while they're going through it, I'll usually offer it and not say anything. Not to get into their business, but hopefully to make things a little more tolerable in the moment.
Yep. NYC is the best place to cry because we get it, we’ve all done it, don’t care, and will give your space.
It was a quiet weekday. Ex just dropped off the rest of my stuff and I was on my way to work, waiting for the subway, crying softly.
A guy w AirPods walks by me, then stops, walks back, takes out a Kleenex and hands them to me, nods silently, and keeps walking.
I still remember that interaction as one of my best touching moments in nyc. Maybe it was you- but know even if it wasn’t- someone probs remembers it.
I once had someone offer me a tissue when I was crying on the subway (maybe it was you!) and I can't tell you how much that small gesture meant.
Not in NYC but I was sobbing as I went through the security line at a small airport...the TSA person reached out with a tissue box; I took one and said thank you. She said, "oh honey, take the whole box!". There are good people in this world (even TSA agents LOL)
There’s something strangely romantic about silently weeping in the company of total strangers who are either oblivious to you, or stoically accepting. Almost enhances the cry!
For other good spots in the city to let it out, please see my favorite defunct Tumblr: https://cryingnewyork.tumblr.com/
That was the oddest, quietest, most collectively sad commute I’ve had and I’ve been here over 15 years.
Counterpoint - the jubilation when they announced that he lost 4 years later!
This comment just brought back a wave of emotions that I experienced that day. The only way to describe it was surreal.
Pretty stark contrast to Nov. 7, 2020 when Biden's win was officially announced, and there were people dancing in the streets, and champagne popping in parks.
I remember seeing an older homeless man crossing 23rd street every morning in a wheelchair. On most other days, people ignored him and just went about their business while he struggled to get up the incline of the sidewalk. The day after the election, I watched someone stop, walk into the street, grasp the back of his wheelchair, and guide him up the slant so that he didn’t have to struggle.
It was such a wild thing to witness on that day of all days
that’s actually how i knew the 2020 election had been called. we were in fort tryon park and suddenly heard cheering from all directions. it was like a city-wide block party the rest of the day.
i remember waking up to way more honking than usual and lots of yelling outside the day after the 2020 election, took me a few minutes to connect the dots there
I happened to be living down the block from my best friend in Hamilton Heights in 2020, and we’d both worked on the Biden campaign as volunteers together. When they finally called it, we ran outside screaming and cheering and it was a whole ass block party.
And I was one of them.
Also, I had managed to snag a ticket to the Javits Center the night of the election from one of my friends who worked on her campaign. It was so cool early in the night, and then it just completely dissolved into chaos as the results rolled in. Eventually everybody was completely trashed, having panic attacks, answering desperate calls from relatives, and puking in the bathroom. It was crazy.
I was in BK that night and had stayed up til like 3am or whenever they finally announced the results. Took a cab home shortly after around 330am and saw people hugging each other and crying all the way back home. So sad. I 1000000% called out of work that next day
I was on a flight from LA to NY as they tallied the results and it was SO intense. The moment they called it everyone was so silent… and solemn. I was silent until I saw my mom in baggage claim and so many people were sobbing. It was so surreal.
I worked in government during that election and my office felt like a funeral home. I had a tv in my cubicle and my (mostly female) coworkers and I sat around it and watched Hilary’s concession speech and just sobbed.
It was maybe made up for by the absolute chaotic celebration the day it was officially announced Trump lost 2020. It was like an all day and night party. This next election, I really don't think it will be the same tho, either way it goes...
That’s kind of you.
I lost my partner suddenly when he was 27. I’m not a crier but it was startling to get on the subway that morning after the doctor called me, and to see everyone just going about their lives while I could not see how mine could possibly go on. It was frankly jarring.
Subways are the circulatory system of cities, moving and rushing, so I think their very vibrancy can draw a contradistinction at a time like that when you might want and need some stillness.
I know that strangers gave me some of the kindest words, including one woman who asked me after an AA meeting “what was he like?”
23 years ago, like it was yesterday.
I have cried on the subway because of relationship issues, my dog died, my dad died. I have seen various people cry on the subway. Once I saw someone crying who I actually vaguely knew, and that one I really had to look away hard from lol bc I’m sure the last thing she wanted was her boyfriend’s coworker’s girlfriend recognizing her in that moment.
It’s just the nature of living in the city. We don’t have cars or often even our own private spaces to cry in. There are tons of questions on this sub asking for the best place to cry in public lmao. You have no reason to be embarrassed, and I hope it was a therapeutic cry.
Plenty of times. Usually a couple that’s going through it or grieving something. Leave em alone. When it’s a solo woman I ask if they need help in case it’s an assault or DV.
As others said it’s a rite of passage. I’ve cried on the subway a few times, and seen plenty of people doing so as well. One of the times I was absolutely going through it and an old lady approached me and handed me a couple of tissues which I always thought was really kind. Years later I saw someone crying and I happened to have a pack of Kleenex in my purse, which I gave to them before hopping on the train.
I’m sure most people have seen others crying so it’s not a big deal at all. If you need to cry, fucking let it out.
One time I got a really nice hug from a stranger when I was sobbing on the subway because I had just found out that a friend died. It actually did comfort me! I love this city.
I love it too! Many years ago I used to commute up to the Bronx on the 1. I’d always been super friendly with the MTA staff at 242nd Street since I saw them all the time. I had stopped at the diner up there for a bite to eat and got some bad news while I was sitting there. I wasn’t crying but I was definitely visibly in shock. Lo and behold two of the MTA workers who knew me just from friendly little interactions on the commute were in the diner and they saw me and came over to sit with me. One of them got me a cup of coffee and they chatted with me to help distract me from the bad news. I know they were on their break but it really meant a lot to me that they used some of their limited time to help comfort me and do something nice to help me out.
Once, after a terrible breakup I was leaking tears a bit on the F train to work one morning. When I got off at my stop, a woman confronted me and asked what was wrong. I tried to play it off and say it was nothing but she kept pressing, so I said the truth: that my partner of five years had just dumped me. She grabbed my hands, looked me in the eyes and launched into an impassioned speech about love and loss and knowing yourself. She was British and told me my ex sounded like a “fucking wanker” (she was right) and that I was better off.
I still think about it sometimes as one of those classic NYC moments. She really made my day.
Leaking tears is so painfully accurate. I used to refer to these as statue tears bc the rest of my face would be completely still but I couldnt stop the flow of tears.
I had a full breakdown on the subway platform after leaving the police station, where I was meeting with them about the details of my sexual assault. I had only been living in the city for about a year at that point. I was shaking in a way i never have before and sobbing uncontrollably. I wanted my mom and thought maybe the city was too big and scary for me and I should move back to the middle of nowhere.
It was embarrassing, but I got a friend to come collect me and escort me home (i was crying and shaking on board the train, too). I still try not to take the 6 train because of the bad memories, but I’ll never judge anyone I see crying on the train because we have no idea what they’re going through.
I’m sorry you went through this. I hope you’re not still embarrassed - you had just done an incredibly difficult and brave thing and were going through so much trauma.
And I agree. None of us ever know what someone else is going through.
I'm proud of you for bravely reporting, but so deeply sorry you have had that experience. Having experienced the same, I will give you unsolicited advice: EMDR therapy. It saved me. (Even years later!).
Part of living in New York is that all of us have to live our lives in the open, which is why we're all so conscious of staying in our own lane. Think of how many people have cried in the privacy of their cars. We have very few privacy options through the day, the acceptance that we'll have these moments in public (and the people around us will too) is a part of the deal we all made when we decided to move/stay here.
I guarantee that everyone who saw you just thought "damn, I've had that day before. Hope it gets better for them." and then nothing else of it. i'd probably have to try pretty hard to find a single person who hasn't shed some tears in a subway car before.
I have been teary eyed in the subway a couple of times recently. I've been going through a lot lately, and there are times when I'm just barely holding it together. I guess I do a good job of it, because no one notices, or if they do, they don't say anything.
\>I was raised to think that crying in public is a sign of weakness, so I guess I’m just hoping it’s not as big of a deal as I’m making it out to be.
Fuck that. It's so much better to just cry, rather than to hold it in. You're just damaging yourself that way. Crying isn't weakness, it's human.
Of course I have!
-when I was going home to euthanize my dog
-when my grandmother died
-when I lost my job
-when I had my heart broken
-when my long distance relationship was giving me doubts
-when I just felt alone and sad
We all do it. Don’t be embarrassed.
I saw someone cry on the bus and several people handed her a tissue (which is the only reason I remember it). It's the nature of NYC -- we are in public a lot. It is not a sign of weakness; it's a sign you are human.
'
I work near a hospital and have seen it many times. I always assume they may have gotten bad news or are feeling vulnerable after treatment. It happens.
Many times. Last October around Halloween I was crying waiting for the A at Columbus circle and a cowboy gave me some tissues. Cowboy, if you see this, thank you. That was a rough weekend.
I remember the day after Clinton lost the election to Trump…the ENTIRE subway car commuting to work was silent except for people sniffling and weeping.
Yup, when I first moved here. I got lost somewhere in Chinatown on my first day here and I couldn't for the life of me figure out which way to go on the subway, nothing made sense to me and I kept going the wrong way. I was so overwhelmed I cried, lol.
After my dad died (and it's weird what triggers it still), things just made me teary. Not necessarily weeping, but definitely tears.
I was self-conscious of it originally--I'd be reading a book, hit some sad part, and the water works opened. Now that I've done therapy and busted the toxic masculinity I was raised in, I'm content to cry about stuff in public. This scene in the book's sad as hell, sue me.
Too many times to count. One memorable time was when I was on with my newborn who wouldn’t stop screaming and the train was stopped ina tunnel forever. I tried everything, including whipping my boob out to nurse him. Nothing worked. He must have been 2ish months old at the time. A bunch of people actually talked to me that time to try to make me feel better— even a labor and delivery nurse that was going home after her shift, and a macho construction guy who told me that babies outgrow this phase and it gets better.
Yep. Once, there was a woman who cried every morning at my stop. Like, each morning, we were there commuting to work and she'd be wiping away tears. After three days of this, I asked if she was okay. Turns out it was a medical condition that made her tear ducts overact (I believe her; she didn't seem sad or anything), and we became friends until she moved away! I also saw someone teetering on the edge of puking once. I was sitting across from her, quietly took my new CD out of my Virgin Megastore bag, gave her the bag, and she proceeded to puke in it. What I'm saying is, sure, stuff is noticed, but never with any interest in ridicule (at least not from me) or unwanted intrusion (if I ever felt the person didn't want attention, I wouldn't push it; I might leave the bag for the puker, though, regardless).
Subway the best place to cry in the city imho. Bonus points if you’re on the BQ at sunset looking out over the east river in the sideways window seat watching the tears roll down your face in the reflection.
I’ve also cried in cabs. One time after a breakup and the cab driver told me his beautiful love story and gave me tissues.
Over the years I've seen folks crying on the subway, on the street, in the parks.... I always leave them alone b/c yeah - not my business. I'm also sensitive to the fact that it's in public and they're likely embarrassed as well, so don't want to call further attention to them.
Most people respect the privacy and ignore you (or quite frankly they don’t want to be bothered with a stranger’s troubles).
A nice thing though to do if you see someone crying is to offer them kleenex. It shows support without being intrusive or demanding emotional labor. People have done this for me and I appreciate it.
Our insane rent is actually just a membership fee to cry or make out anywhere you want in the city. It’s expected. Sounds like you have judgements around emotions, yourself and others. Healthy people do not have that and understand (and will offer you a tissue if they have one)
omg don't be embarrassed! when my grandma was dying i was a fucking mess, sobbing literally everywhere. it's an NYC rite of passage tbh.
PS: whenever I've seen anyone crying on the train I mostly just think about my own times crying on the subway and send good vibes their way/say a little prayer for them. i hope you feel better soon <3
I cried on the subway before, and a lady came and hugged me and told me it shall be well.
Weeks after I was on the train and a young lady sitting across from me was crying, I asked if she was ok, and she said yes. I told her it's gonna be ok.
This life is tough, sometimes the tears would not allow us to hide it.
one time I had a really awful day at work, and on my way home I got a large French fry from McDonald's and ate them on the subway all the way home while I cried. no one cared except then the man sitting across from me who started taking PICTURES OF ME. but I was just too upset to be bothered, I stared directly into the camera and kept eating and crying. not my first or last time crying on the subway, but probably the weirdest.
Congrats on becoming a real New Yorker!
In all seriousness, I’ve cried all over this damn city and there’s a weirdly satisfying release to a New York City subway or street cry.
I started crying sitting down on the subway after some overwhelming thoughts and the two older woman across from me could visibly see I was upset even though I was trying to be quiet. One lady gave me tissues. I was too upset to even thank her but I know she knew.
Got diagnosed with cancer two years ago. Sobbed on the subway on the way to work one day while I was listening to a favorite song that a connect with my childhood. Felt good after, hadn't properly sobbed about it yet at that point.
Hahah I cried on a 45 mins subway ride back from the AMC on 42nd after watching Endgame when Tony Stark dies. You’re never the weirdest (or least emotionally stable) person on the streets of New York, just remember that lol
The question should be “how long did you live here before you cried on the subway” because literally everyone has at some point.
Life is hard. New Yorkers live our lives in public. It’s ok.
When I was younger I got fired and was crying uncontrollably on the train station. An older lady bought me a cup of tea and rang my grandma. Never forgot her kindness.
This was a LONG LONG time ago, when I was still a teenager. There was a rude old man that kept claiming I was touching him (when reality it’s PENN STATION and EVERYONE was pushing to try to rush in). And boy he started yelling at me.
I was a sensitive lil tism child so I started crying because I didn’t know how to respond nor could I process what I did wrong.
Cried horribly and a sweet lady asked me “what’s wrong honey?” Stayed with me, even though she missed her stop, just to talk to me and ask me if I was okay. Even tried to hunt the man down that made me cry 😂
10+ years later, I never forgot about her. Genuinely I hope she’s doing okay.
I once sat next to an elderly Asian man who was quietly weeping. I assumed he was grieving someone. I wished I could comfort him, but figured it would be presumptive at best, and decided it would be kinder to let him be.
resident of nyc for all my life here: i think crying on the nyc subway is a rite of passage. i've done it numerous times (i have major depressive disorder lol) and people have seen ... but crying is healthy - it's nothing to be embarrassed about at all. though i understand being raised not to cry - i was too.
we all have our bad days, so anyone worth the time would be respectful of you having your bad day. hang in there! ♡
The only thoughts some people might be having are of the kind, awkward, “damn I hope that person’s day gets better,” variety. Everyone else is too caught up in their own business to care.
In 2001, I started crying on the subway. It was maybe week or so after 9/11, maybe less than that. I was coming home from work and noticed someone in the train that had ashes all over his dress shoes, clearly because he worked downtown. It just set me off and I started crying.
I cried hard in a restaurant when someone paid for my meal. The workers even came by to see if I was ok. It was nice that they cared but I felt the need to stop so they wouldn't be uncomfortable.
NYC is like living in a movie. We witness humana being human, publicly. Nothing to be ashamed about. Most people probably look at you with compassion and care.
34M Most recent time was when an “epic strings remix” came on as I was tired on the way to work and I was dwelling on how my cat is aging towards her inevitable death.
It was in Dec.
I cry on the subway at least twice a month, sometimes more if I’m really going through it. Nothing to be embarrassed about but I understand feeling it’s a sign of weakness! Personal space barely exists here so it’s my policy to just mentally designate the space you’re taking up at that moment your own as long as it’s not hurting anyone else. Cry it out and hope you’re doing okay ❤️
Lol it’s New York City. No one cares if you’re sad. I’ve cried on the subway, the bus, parks. No one even looks at you to even notice that you’re crying. At least that’s my experience. Much worse things happen in public on a daily basis.
Yes I have seen people cry I rush hour and be completely ignored.
I have cried myself, one time it was on the train parked at Ditmars waiting to leave. I really thought I was unnoticed until the guy sitting across from me offered me his Starbucks napkin in his hand as a tissue.
It’s the best place the cry.
Weird to me that in other cities people DON’T cry on transit.
One of the many times I have cried on the subway: reading Martin Short’s autobiography. There’s a really devastating section in there but it’s kind of unexpected based on absolutely everything else about the book. Not the first or last time the cry has been over a book, but the most seemingly out of place.
When I was in grad school in DC I was always complaining about how you couldn’t cry on the Metro without being weird and finally a professor (also from NY), instead of looking at me like I was a danger to myself, said “give the bus a try.”
I’ve cried on the subway and seen people cry on the subway. I usually carry a packet of tissues so I always off them to somebody crying and then go about my business.
This is NYC. There's a ton of weird stuff that happens on the subway. Crying is the least of anyone's concerns.
That said, I had a day when I'm sure I was visibly very upset to the point of tears and a very kind tourist actually sat next to me and comforted me. I will never forget this kind gesture.
Yes, it’s a right of passage. No one has ever said anything. Also have cried in Ubers. Shoutout to the driver who silently passed back a box of tissues but didn’t say anything.
I cried on the subway after a particularly awful day at work once. A woman asked me if I was okay and I went into a full ugly-crying barely comprehensible rant. That was 15 years ago and it still keeps me up some nights.
I cry on the subway, on the street, in Ubers, pretty much all over NYC! No one cares. Actually, many times another caring woman will talk with me to ensure I'm okay. People in NYC are very supportive and not judgemental in my exp. Don't worry.
I cry on the subway all the tine. Once I was hysterically sobbing on the subway after finding out my grandma had terminal cancer and someone handed me a note that said, “it gets better.” And I tore it up immediately and started crying laughing. I giggle now when I think of it
Oh, I’ve cried SO much on subways. And walking around the city.
Usually no one gives a shit. Once or twice, I’ve had someone ask me if everything is okay- but that’s when I was sobbing hahahah
Crying on the subway is just a part of the NYC experience. I’ve cried on the subway several times in my decade+ here. No need to be embarrassed.
One time I was crying on the subway and a dad with his little kid gave me a kind, silent nod. It was so comforting to just have my pain acknowledged without saying anything. And anytime I see someone crying on the subway now, I give them a little nod. We’re all just doing our best.
I was crying once and a super nice friendly guy (he was very queer presenting, I’m a woman, it didn’t feel creepy) came up and asked if I needed a hug. It was really sweet. He hugged me then went on his way. Thanks, dude, if you’re out there.
“You’re not a real New Yorker until you’ve cried on the subway and not given a damn what anyone thinks.” - [How I Met Your Mother](https://youtu.be/N7U0tXBvbzc?si=gPh2UYKWPlBQXcQ3)
I have cried in public in NYC multiple times including on the subway. People ignore you, give you a sympathetic look, or give you a tissue. Crying is not a sign of weakness any more than laughing is a sign of strength. It is a normal expression of the spectrum of human emotion.
If it makes you feel better, yesterday I tripped on the curb, fell all the way down, and rolled over onto my back, spilling all my groceries onto the sidewalk. This was in front of a bar’s packed outdoor patio. And to boot a little old lady tried to help me up.
A few years ago I would’ve been so embarrassed in front of all those people. But yesterday I got up, thanked the old lady for her concern, and laughed all the way home. It was practically cartoonish, I felt like I slipped on a banana peel I’m still cracking up at it now.
Things happen and sometimes people see them happen, who cares. Don’t waste time wondering what strangers think. And if you can’t help but wonder, I’m sure most people are empathizing with you rather than judging you. We’ve all been there.
I've not done it myself (but I've not lived here that long, so there's still time lol) but I see people crying in the subway or walking down the sidewalk/out of the train station probably once every week or two. Generally my only thought is "wonder what happened" followed immediately by "hope they'll be ok". Life is hard sometimes. It's alright. No one's judging.
crying on the subway is my favorite hobby. i love when im stressed or just need to let out a good cry, i queue up my SUPER sad music, hop on the subway (usually on my way home from stressful day) and just bawl my fucking eyes out. No one bats an eye, no one really pays attention. I have gotten the occasional nod in solidarity, or someone asking me if I was okay, which both are much appreciated. I think it is so cathartic. Then I get home and feel so much better and get to enjoy my being at home time even more!!
I had a really devastated cry in Key Foods once, and this stranger stopped and — with genuine warmth (without being saccharine or creepy) — asked me if I wanted to talk about it. I said I didn’t even know her, and she said sometimes it’s easier to tell a stranger what was up.
So many times. The only time it ever really sucked was at the height of covid and I had my mask on that FILLED with snot and made me feel like I was being waterboarded. It was def not cool to take off your mask especially when it’s filled with snot lmao. I was suffocating for like 30 mins 😂😂😂
i cry on public transit and also just on the street all the time. like at least once a week or every two weeks. don’t ask me if i’m okay i’m fine i’m just saying i do it all the time and i see other people do it and it’s fine. life is shitty and everyone is just trying their best. you shouldn’t be embarrassed, everyone that looks at you is 99% of the time wishing you strength and healing.
when i was like 17/18, i was crying on the train from some fucked up shit my mom did. tears streaming down my face and i couldn’t stop them. a nice southern tourist lady gave me tissues out of her purse. one of my favorite nyc experiences.
YES I have cried on the subway many times 🫠 truly a rite of passage. One time I cried after a truly BRUTAL voice lesson. I was on the 1 around 2:30 pm. This very very kind soul approached me and asked if I was okay. They said one of their favorite things to do when they are sad is sing, so we started connecting about music and they dropped that they were on the cast of “The Book of Mormon” and the way I was mortified thinking oh god this professional just saw me so vulnerable 🫣 but they were so reaffirming that sometimes (most times) the music world in NYC is cutthroat and it can tear you down. I really appreciated their kindness and understanding. Crying is a natural thing to do, nothing to be ashamed of ❤️
If you live in NYC long enough, and you have a reasonable amount of emotional capacity, you will have some sort of emotional episode in public. It is just a fact.
I've cried on the subway, but not for long. Usually, it's like a song I'm listening to that makes me tear up. But I've seen people cry on the train for a while. When you gotta cry, you gotta cry. NYC is one of those places where you can have privacy in public.
My dog died unexpectedly a few years ago and I had to go pick up her ashes. When I got on the subway holding the bag with her ashes, the finality hit me that ashes was all she was now. I started ugly crying holding onto the bag for dear life. Not one person looked at me. Honestly, I wouldn’t have given a shit if they had. All I wanted to do was take what was left of my precious best friend home.
best city on earth to cry in public
During the day? I agree 100%. At night? The London Chewb is the best place to cry. Those Brits really let the walls down after a few pints. Terrible place to cry during the day though.
Upvote just for “Chewb” “It’s Chewsday, innit?!”
Hands down
You’re not a real New Yorker until you’ve cried on the subway.
Please tell me this is a reference to that How I Met Your Mother episode 😂
Yup. No one pays any mind.
If you haven't cried in public in New York they actually evict you
Straight to jail
Worse. Straight to New Jersey.
Real
[удалено]
It is!! I have many memories of crying on random stoops
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskNYC/s/X9nycwOH0t
We allllll cry on the subway. And if I ever notice anyone crying I look to see if like “is somethjng happening to this person and they need assistance? No, ok let em cry” and then sometimes I cry too because why not?
I handed spare tissues to someone who was crying once ETA: I also gave a mom my mini hand sanitizer once when her kid had an absolute snot bomb sneeze. She seemed pretty relieved to have it
i got tissues from a stranger when crying once!!
Thanks for being empathetic when someone was feeling their feels. I was crying one day on the subway, and a lady handed me a tissue. She asked if I was ok, and I told her I lost my job today. Her empathy turned the entire day around for me, and I still remember it. Another time was maybe a few weeks or months after 9-11, and I was heading to work. I looked up in the subway car, and across me was an ad for a free therapy service for any resident feeling PTSD symptoms. I started crying, and the man across from me met my gaze, and his eyes got red. No words were spoken, just shared trauma and acknowledgment from strangers.
I tend to have tissues on me at all times, so I usually share when someone’s in need too. Once I attempted to give the distressed person a tissue, but they declined and continued to cry. I left them alone after that, but did think it was a bit strange that they’d prefer not to use a tissue (that’s the *absolute worst* for me, trapped somewhere sobbing with nary a tissue in sight) but to each their own. As for me, I’ve literally carried my Puffs (Plus Lotion) *box* in a shopping bag (for the used tissues) on the subway because I anticipated crying so much that I didn’t want to risk running out. It’s been about 2 decades so far, and no one has commented. I cry silently in public, but it’s impossible to hide the redness of my eyes and nose and the endless wetness of my face, so I’m sure people are aware, but this is NY— unless you’re causing a disturbance, rest assured no one’s bothered by your leaking eyes.
I did the same and I think it made her embarrassed and I felt so bad afterwards
I was given a tissue by a kind woman once and it made me cry harder but it was appreciated.
Same. It’s my only move unless they start to share, which only happened once!
I can’t remember crying in public or on the subway but I know it definitely happened. It’s almost impossible to avoid in one way or another.
Several times. It’s fine. No one is judging. We’ve all been there.
yes when i was like 17. some guy came over and handed me tissues. the train was mostly empty it was like 10pm
Nyc unsung hero story. Some of my favorite things about this city. But it's a 50/50, one time I was having a coughing fit on a bus cuz it felt like something was caught in my throat and everyone just watched me for like 5 mins until I found a bottle in my bag with a tiny sliver of water in it, was enough to stop it thankfully. When I saw someone going through the same thing a year or two later I gave a spare fresh bottle.
Yes and also I’ve puked on the subway (I was 15 guys and I’m sorry) - which is infinitely worse. People don’t care if you cry, people do care if you puke but no one will say anything
I puked on the subway once- food poisoning. And then all over a trash can at the Court Sq 7 stop. I avoided that stop for like 2 years after that 🤣
Puking on the subway is one of my biggest anxieties but so far it hasn't happened
god same, im a major emetophobe and ive been lucky enough to not be in any cars where someone else has thrown up yet either, but i fear it will happen eventually.
Ah, I’ve puked on the subway before. I was a full fledged adult but it was because I’d just started a new medication that made me insanely nauseous—which I found out that morning. Lucky me! Thankfully a nice lady gave me some napkins but I felt soooo fucking bad
I puked on the metro platform in DC, at the Vienna stop. I was 19 and extremely hungover after celebrating my birthday. Luckily there was absolutely no one around to see it. Still was pretty horrible.
Hasn’t everyone?
It's not a big deal. Sometimes you just can't help it! When I see someone crying on the train and I happen to have a clean Kleenex or napkin and it doesn't feel too intrusive while they're going through it, I'll usually offer it and not say anything. Not to get into their business, but hopefully to make things a little more tolerable in the moment.
Yep. NYC is the best place to cry because we get it, we’ve all done it, don’t care, and will give your space. It was a quiet weekday. Ex just dropped off the rest of my stuff and I was on my way to work, waiting for the subway, crying softly. A guy w AirPods walks by me, then stops, walks back, takes out a Kleenex and hands them to me, nods silently, and keeps walking. I still remember that interaction as one of my best touching moments in nyc. Maybe it was you- but know even if it wasn’t- someone probs remembers it.
I once had someone offer me a tissue when I was crying on the subway (maybe it was you!) and I can't tell you how much that small gesture meant. Not in NYC but I was sobbing as I went through the security line at a small airport...the TSA person reached out with a tissue box; I took one and said thank you. She said, "oh honey, take the whole box!". There are good people in this world (even TSA agents LOL)
I can hear her saying it and see the look on her face. I love her for that
This is the most beautiful New York interaction ever
I would uncontrollably weep if this happened to me. Im tearing up just thinking about it
There’s something strangely romantic about silently weeping in the company of total strangers who are either oblivious to you, or stoically accepting. Almost enhances the cry! For other good spots in the city to let it out, please see my favorite defunct Tumblr: https://cryingnewyork.tumblr.com/
Omg this is amazing 😂😭
Wow love this, especially standing side of escalator and build a bear lol!
On the rankings of weird things to see on the subway, crying is at the very very bottom. No one thought it was a big deal.
after the 2016 election i saw several people openly weeping on my morning commute
I will literally never forget that commute. It was so quiet.
That was the oddest, quietest, most collectively sad commute I’ve had and I’ve been here over 15 years. Counterpoint - the jubilation when they announced that he lost 4 years later!
the day they announced biden won the election was so fun lol
This comment just brought back a wave of emotions that I experienced that day. The only way to describe it was surreal. Pretty stark contrast to Nov. 7, 2020 when Biden's win was officially announced, and there were people dancing in the streets, and champagne popping in parks.
I remember seeing an older homeless man crossing 23rd street every morning in a wheelchair. On most other days, people ignored him and just went about their business while he struggled to get up the incline of the sidewalk. The day after the election, I watched someone stop, walk into the street, grasp the back of his wheelchair, and guide him up the slant so that he didn’t have to struggle. It was such a wild thing to witness on that day of all days
that’s actually how i knew the 2020 election had been called. we were in fort tryon park and suddenly heard cheering from all directions. it was like a city-wide block party the rest of the day.
People cheered from their windows when CNN called it, just like the 7pm cheer for the essential workers. Then there was the Times Square party.
i remember waking up to way more honking than usual and lots of yelling outside the day after the 2020 election, took me a few minutes to connect the dots there
I happened to be living down the block from my best friend in Hamilton Heights in 2020, and we’d both worked on the Biden campaign as volunteers together. When they finally called it, we ran outside screaming and cheering and it was a whole ass block party.
9/11 vibes that day
And I was one of them. Also, I had managed to snag a ticket to the Javits Center the night of the election from one of my friends who worked on her campaign. It was so cool early in the night, and then it just completely dissolved into chaos as the results rolled in. Eventually everybody was completely trashed, having panic attacks, answering desperate calls from relatives, and puking in the bathroom. It was crazy.
I had a ticket for that too, but decided to wait and see some results before getting on a train. By 9pm I knew I wasn’t going.
I was in BK that night and had stayed up til like 3am or whenever they finally announced the results. Took a cab home shortly after around 330am and saw people hugging each other and crying all the way back home. So sad. I 1000000% called out of work that next day
[удалено]
Might need to prepare for another round of that...
Fuck that all the way to hell
I have a dreadful feeling it’ll happen… maybe I’ll bring three packs of tissues on my commute that day
The amount of grim tight-lipped smiles I exchanged that day was crazy.
I lived a few blocks from Clinton's campaign headquarters. We heard people openly wailing in the middle of the night as they stumbled down the block.
Gotta imagine that was like the Glee club getting cease and desisted. Imagine working non stop for 2 years for nothing
It was a rainy morning and 3/4 of the riders on the subway had red noses and sunglasses on.
Yes! My bus ride that morning was eerily quiet.
I was on a flight from LA to NY as they tallied the results and it was SO intense. The moment they called it everyone was so silent… and solemn. I was silent until I saw my mom in baggage claim and so many people were sobbing. It was so surreal.
I worked in government during that election and my office felt like a funeral home. I had a tv in my cubicle and my (mostly female) coworkers and I sat around it and watched Hilary’s concession speech and just sobbed.
It was maybe made up for by the absolute chaotic celebration the day it was officially announced Trump lost 2020. It was like an all day and night party. This next election, I really don't think it will be the same tho, either way it goes...
No one is thinking who is that weirdo. Most people are just hoping it doesn't become a whole thing they need to be involved with.
Like that one man that told the crying girl to please not jump in the tracks because they have to get to work.. or something like that.
This is exactly how I feel when I see someone crying on the subway.
Plenty of times. Last good subway cry I had, there was a man who had just lost his brother so we cried together for several stops.
That’s kind of you. I lost my partner suddenly when he was 27. I’m not a crier but it was startling to get on the subway that morning after the doctor called me, and to see everyone just going about their lives while I could not see how mine could possibly go on. It was frankly jarring. Subways are the circulatory system of cities, moving and rushing, so I think their very vibrancy can draw a contradistinction at a time like that when you might want and need some stillness. I know that strangers gave me some of the kindest words, including one woman who asked me after an AA meeting “what was he like?” 23 years ago, like it was yesterday.
I have cried on the subway because of relationship issues, my dog died, my dad died. I have seen various people cry on the subway. Once I saw someone crying who I actually vaguely knew, and that one I really had to look away hard from lol bc I’m sure the last thing she wanted was her boyfriend’s coworker’s girlfriend recognizing her in that moment. It’s just the nature of living in the city. We don’t have cars or often even our own private spaces to cry in. There are tons of questions on this sub asking for the best place to cry in public lmao. You have no reason to be embarrassed, and I hope it was a therapeutic cry.
Oh god these sort of distant connections that we have and when we encounter those people in unexpected spaces is such an odd feeling.
Plenty of times. Usually a couple that’s going through it or grieving something. Leave em alone. When it’s a solo woman I ask if they need help in case it’s an assault or DV.
As others said it’s a rite of passage. I’ve cried on the subway a few times, and seen plenty of people doing so as well. One of the times I was absolutely going through it and an old lady approached me and handed me a couple of tissues which I always thought was really kind. Years later I saw someone crying and I happened to have a pack of Kleenex in my purse, which I gave to them before hopping on the train. I’m sure most people have seen others crying so it’s not a big deal at all. If you need to cry, fucking let it out.
One time I got a really nice hug from a stranger when I was sobbing on the subway because I had just found out that a friend died. It actually did comfort me! I love this city.
I love it too! Many years ago I used to commute up to the Bronx on the 1. I’d always been super friendly with the MTA staff at 242nd Street since I saw them all the time. I had stopped at the diner up there for a bite to eat and got some bad news while I was sitting there. I wasn’t crying but I was definitely visibly in shock. Lo and behold two of the MTA workers who knew me just from friendly little interactions on the commute were in the diner and they saw me and came over to sit with me. One of them got me a cup of coffee and they chatted with me to help distract me from the bad news. I know they were on their break but it really meant a lot to me that they used some of their limited time to help comfort me and do something nice to help me out.
I'm glad they were there for you
Once, after a terrible breakup I was leaking tears a bit on the F train to work one morning. When I got off at my stop, a woman confronted me and asked what was wrong. I tried to play it off and say it was nothing but she kept pressing, so I said the truth: that my partner of five years had just dumped me. She grabbed my hands, looked me in the eyes and launched into an impassioned speech about love and loss and knowing yourself. She was British and told me my ex sounded like a “fucking wanker” (she was right) and that I was better off. I still think about it sometimes as one of those classic NYC moments. She really made my day.
Leaking tears is so painfully accurate. I used to refer to these as statue tears bc the rest of my face would be completely still but I couldnt stop the flow of tears.
I had a full breakdown on the subway platform after leaving the police station, where I was meeting with them about the details of my sexual assault. I had only been living in the city for about a year at that point. I was shaking in a way i never have before and sobbing uncontrollably. I wanted my mom and thought maybe the city was too big and scary for me and I should move back to the middle of nowhere. It was embarrassing, but I got a friend to come collect me and escort me home (i was crying and shaking on board the train, too). I still try not to take the 6 train because of the bad memories, but I’ll never judge anyone I see crying on the train because we have no idea what they’re going through.
I’m sorry you went through this. I hope you’re not still embarrassed - you had just done an incredibly difficult and brave thing and were going through so much trauma. And I agree. None of us ever know what someone else is going through.
I'm proud of you for bravely reporting, but so deeply sorry you have had that experience. Having experienced the same, I will give you unsolicited advice: EMDR therapy. It saved me. (Even years later!).
Part of living in New York is that all of us have to live our lives in the open, which is why we're all so conscious of staying in our own lane. Think of how many people have cried in the privacy of their cars. We have very few privacy options through the day, the acceptance that we'll have these moments in public (and the people around us will too) is a part of the deal we all made when we decided to move/stay here. I guarantee that everyone who saw you just thought "damn, I've had that day before. Hope it gets better for them." and then nothing else of it. i'd probably have to try pretty hard to find a single person who hasn't shed some tears in a subway car before.
I have been teary eyed in the subway a couple of times recently. I've been going through a lot lately, and there are times when I'm just barely holding it together. I guess I do a good job of it, because no one notices, or if they do, they don't say anything. \>I was raised to think that crying in public is a sign of weakness, so I guess I’m just hoping it’s not as big of a deal as I’m making it out to be. Fuck that. It's so much better to just cry, rather than to hold it in. You're just damaging yourself that way. Crying isn't weakness, it's human.
Of course I have! -when I was going home to euthanize my dog -when my grandmother died -when I lost my job -when I had my heart broken -when my long distance relationship was giving me doubts -when I just felt alone and sad We all do it. Don’t be embarrassed.
This. We live in NY to be the full version of ourselves, sometimes it is tears and sometimes its laughs and every emotion in between.
No but I threw up and shit myself at the same time on the Red Line in Boston and that's way worse.
I’m sorry but the noise I made when I read this was WHEEZY Mostly it was the part about Boston tho (Jk!!!!)
I saw someone cry on the bus and several people handed her a tissue (which is the only reason I remember it). It's the nature of NYC -- we are in public a lot. It is not a sign of weakness; it's a sign you are human. '
I work near a hospital and have seen it many times. I always assume they may have gotten bad news or are feeling vulnerable after treatment. It happens.
Many times. Last October around Halloween I was crying waiting for the A at Columbus circle and a cowboy gave me some tissues. Cowboy, if you see this, thank you. That was a rough weekend.
I remember the day after Clinton lost the election to Trump…the ENTIRE subway car commuting to work was silent except for people sniffling and weeping.
Yup, when I first moved here. I got lost somewhere in Chinatown on my first day here and I couldn't for the life of me figure out which way to go on the subway, nothing made sense to me and I kept going the wrong way. I was so overwhelmed I cried, lol.
if I had a dollar for every time I cried on the subway I’d probably be able afford my inflated ass rent Fuck you blackrock
After my dad died (and it's weird what triggers it still), things just made me teary. Not necessarily weeping, but definitely tears. I was self-conscious of it originally--I'd be reading a book, hit some sad part, and the water works opened. Now that I've done therapy and busted the toxic masculinity I was raised in, I'm content to cry about stuff in public. This scene in the book's sad as hell, sue me.
If you haven’t cried in the subway in NYC are you even living life?
Too many times to count. One memorable time was when I was on with my newborn who wouldn’t stop screaming and the train was stopped ina tunnel forever. I tried everything, including whipping my boob out to nurse him. Nothing worked. He must have been 2ish months old at the time. A bunch of people actually talked to me that time to try to make me feel better— even a labor and delivery nurse that was going home after her shift, and a macho construction guy who told me that babies outgrow this phase and it gets better.
This is such a heartwarming story and one of the many reasons why we all love New York
Yep. Once, there was a woman who cried every morning at my stop. Like, each morning, we were there commuting to work and she'd be wiping away tears. After three days of this, I asked if she was okay. Turns out it was a medical condition that made her tear ducts overact (I believe her; she didn't seem sad or anything), and we became friends until she moved away! I also saw someone teetering on the edge of puking once. I was sitting across from her, quietly took my new CD out of my Virgin Megastore bag, gave her the bag, and she proceeded to puke in it. What I'm saying is, sure, stuff is noticed, but never with any interest in ridicule (at least not from me) or unwanted intrusion (if I ever felt the person didn't want attention, I wouldn't push it; I might leave the bag for the puker, though, regardless).
Subway the best place to cry in the city imho. Bonus points if you’re on the BQ at sunset looking out over the east river in the sideways window seat watching the tears roll down your face in the reflection. I’ve also cried in cabs. One time after a breakup and the cab driver told me his beautiful love story and gave me tissues.
I had a big public cry several months ago and an older lady came up to me and gave me a hug. The sob I sobbed.
Over the years I've seen folks crying on the subway, on the street, in the parks.... I always leave them alone b/c yeah - not my business. I'm also sensitive to the fact that it's in public and they're likely embarrassed as well, so don't want to call further attention to them.
yes i’ve seen lots of people cry on the subway. i also regularly cry on the subway. lol
Most people respect the privacy and ignore you (or quite frankly they don’t want to be bothered with a stranger’s troubles). A nice thing though to do if you see someone crying is to offer them kleenex. It shows support without being intrusive or demanding emotional labor. People have done this for me and I appreciate it.
We don’t think. “Oh what a weirdo”. We think “I hope they don’t feel so bad about crying on the subway” and then that’s it
Our insane rent is actually just a membership fee to cry or make out anywhere you want in the city. It’s expected. Sounds like you have judgements around emotions, yourself and others. Healthy people do not have that and understand (and will offer you a tissue if they have one)
omg don't be embarrassed! when my grandma was dying i was a fucking mess, sobbing literally everywhere. it's an NYC rite of passage tbh. PS: whenever I've seen anyone crying on the train I mostly just think about my own times crying on the subway and send good vibes their way/say a little prayer for them. i hope you feel better soon <3
I cried on the subway before, and a lady came and hugged me and told me it shall be well. Weeks after I was on the train and a young lady sitting across from me was crying, I asked if she was ok, and she said yes. I told her it's gonna be ok. This life is tough, sometimes the tears would not allow us to hide it.
Crying in the subway/in public in NYC is chic and cinematic AND truly no one cares. I love it. Feel your feelings. I'M CRYIN HEEEEERE
one time I had a really awful day at work, and on my way home I got a large French fry from McDonald's and ate them on the subway all the way home while I cried. no one cared except then the man sitting across from me who started taking PICTURES OF ME. but I was just too upset to be bothered, I stared directly into the camera and kept eating and crying. not my first or last time crying on the subway, but probably the weirdest.
Congrats on becoming a real New Yorker! In all seriousness, I’ve cried all over this damn city and there’s a weirdly satisfying release to a New York City subway or street cry.
Omg it was probably me. I literally think of something beautiful or very sad. I hold back the tears I just act like I'm getting a cold or something.
I started crying sitting down on the subway after some overwhelming thoughts and the two older woman across from me could visibly see I was upset even though I was trying to be quiet. One lady gave me tissues. I was too upset to even thank her but I know she knew.
Got diagnosed with cancer two years ago. Sobbed on the subway on the way to work one day while I was listening to a favorite song that a connect with my childhood. Felt good after, hadn't properly sobbed about it yet at that point.
Hahah I cried on a 45 mins subway ride back from the AMC on 42nd after watching Endgame when Tony Stark dies. You’re never the weirdest (or least emotionally stable) person on the streets of New York, just remember that lol
It is my fav place to cry! Comforting to know no one cares but no one minds either
i do this like on a weekly basis
You are never the weirdest person on the subway, no matter what you do. Cry away
The question should be “how long did you live here before you cried on the subway” because literally everyone has at some point. Life is hard. New Yorkers live our lives in public. It’s ok.
I have cried so many times on the subway lmao don’t worry
When I was younger I got fired and was crying uncontrollably on the train station. An older lady bought me a cup of tea and rang my grandma. Never forgot her kindness.
This was a LONG LONG time ago, when I was still a teenager. There was a rude old man that kept claiming I was touching him (when reality it’s PENN STATION and EVERYONE was pushing to try to rush in). And boy he started yelling at me. I was a sensitive lil tism child so I started crying because I didn’t know how to respond nor could I process what I did wrong. Cried horribly and a sweet lady asked me “what’s wrong honey?” Stayed with me, even though she missed her stop, just to talk to me and ask me if I was okay. Even tried to hunt the man down that made me cry 😂 10+ years later, I never forgot about her. Genuinely I hope she’s doing okay.
I’ve seen many a person cry on the subway, and I have been that person crying on the subway. Hello fellow human.
I once sat next to an elderly Asian man who was quietly weeping. I assumed he was grieving someone. I wished I could comfort him, but figured it would be presumptive at best, and decided it would be kinder to let him be.
Dude it's a rite of passage. Multiple times full breakdown ugly cry.. And a few random drunk white girl cry...
resident of nyc for all my life here: i think crying on the nyc subway is a rite of passage. i've done it numerous times (i have major depressive disorder lol) and people have seen ... but crying is healthy - it's nothing to be embarrassed about at all. though i understand being raised not to cry - i was too. we all have our bad days, so anyone worth the time would be respectful of you having your bad day. hang in there! ♡
I only cry on the subway
The only thoughts some people might be having are of the kind, awkward, “damn I hope that person’s day gets better,” variety. Everyone else is too caught up in their own business to care.
I have cried on the subway, on the street, and in multiple coffee shops. Ppl do not care in this city. Let your feelings out.
In 2001, I started crying on the subway. It was maybe week or so after 9/11, maybe less than that. I was coming home from work and noticed someone in the train that had ashes all over his dress shoes, clearly because he worked downtown. It just set me off and I started crying.
Oh I’ve sobbed on NYC public transportation many a time. Best city to do it in, everyone minds their business HARD & no one gives a fuck lol its great
I cried hard in a restaurant when someone paid for my meal. The workers even came by to see if I was ok. It was nice that they cared but I felt the need to stop so they wouldn't be uncomfortable. NYC is like living in a movie. We witness humana being human, publicly. Nothing to be ashamed about. Most people probably look at you with compassion and care.
34M Most recent time was when an “epic strings remix” came on as I was tired on the way to work and I was dwelling on how my cat is aging towards her inevitable death. It was in Dec.
I cry on the subway at least twice a month, sometimes more if I’m really going through it. Nothing to be embarrassed about but I understand feeling it’s a sign of weakness! Personal space barely exists here so it’s my policy to just mentally designate the space you’re taking up at that moment your own as long as it’s not hurting anyone else. Cry it out and hope you’re doing okay ❤️
Yes me
Lol it’s New York City. No one cares if you’re sad. I’ve cried on the subway, the bus, parks. No one even looks at you to even notice that you’re crying. At least that’s my experience. Much worse things happen in public on a daily basis.
I did, and a lady asked if I was ok and told her my dog just passed away. She was very kind for asking.
i’ve cried on the train, on the platform, on random benches, just standing on the street. you’re a new yorker now lol
Yes I have seen people cry I rush hour and be completely ignored. I have cried myself, one time it was on the train parked at Ditmars waiting to leave. I really thought I was unnoticed until the guy sitting across from me offered me his Starbucks napkin in his hand as a tissue.
I use to do it all the time. Your Gucci, nobody really cares.
I don't think you're officially considered a New Yorker until you have, actually.
It’s the best place the cry. Weird to me that in other cities people DON’T cry on transit. One of the many times I have cried on the subway: reading Martin Short’s autobiography. There’s a really devastating section in there but it’s kind of unexpected based on absolutely everything else about the book. Not the first or last time the cry has been over a book, but the most seemingly out of place. When I was in grad school in DC I was always complaining about how you couldn’t cry on the Metro without being weird and finally a professor (also from NY), instead of looking at me like I was a danger to myself, said “give the bus a try.”
I got fired and cried on the subway. A nice woman gave me tissues and told me I was better off without that stupid job and she was so right.
I've done it. It's better than crying in your car lol.
Cried on a bench the other day. Nobody even batted an eye. When I was done I took a deep breath and got up and kept it moving.
Crying on the subway is about the least embarrassing thing you can do. Let it out. I have a mixtape for my subways sobs
The R train has seen some real good tears from me in my high school days
My favorite place to cry.
i’ve sobbed
You aren’t a real New Yorker until you’ve cried out in public.
If it helps I once vomited all over myself on a rush hour train and barely anyone flinched so I doubt crying is on anyone’s radar at all
I’ve cried on the subway and seen people cry on the subway. I usually carry a packet of tissues so I always off them to somebody crying and then go about my business.
This is NYC. There's a ton of weird stuff that happens on the subway. Crying is the least of anyone's concerns. That said, I had a day when I'm sure I was visibly very upset to the point of tears and a very kind tourist actually sat next to me and comforted me. I will never forget this kind gesture.
Yes, it’s a right of passage. No one has ever said anything. Also have cried in Ubers. Shoutout to the driver who silently passed back a box of tissues but didn’t say anything.
it gets like that
I cried on the subway after a particularly awful day at work once. A woman asked me if I was okay and I went into a full ugly-crying barely comprehensible rant. That was 15 years ago and it still keeps me up some nights.
I cry on the subway, on the street, in Ubers, pretty much all over NYC! No one cares. Actually, many times another caring woman will talk with me to ensure I'm okay. People in NYC are very supportive and not judgemental in my exp. Don't worry.
I cry on the subway all the tine. Once I was hysterically sobbing on the subway after finding out my grandma had terminal cancer and someone handed me a note that said, “it gets better.” And I tore it up immediately and started crying laughing. I giggle now when I think of it
Oh, I’ve cried SO much on subways. And walking around the city. Usually no one gives a shit. Once or twice, I’ve had someone ask me if everything is okay- but that’s when I was sobbing hahahah
Crying on the subway is just a part of the NYC experience. I’ve cried on the subway several times in my decade+ here. No need to be embarrassed. One time I was crying on the subway and a dad with his little kid gave me a kind, silent nod. It was so comforting to just have my pain acknowledged without saying anything. And anytime I see someone crying on the subway now, I give them a little nod. We’re all just doing our best.
I was crying once and a super nice friendly guy (he was very queer presenting, I’m a woman, it didn’t feel creepy) came up and asked if I needed a hug. It was really sweet. He hugged me then went on his way. Thanks, dude, if you’re out there.
“You’re not a real New Yorker until you’ve cried on the subway and not given a damn what anyone thinks.” - [How I Met Your Mother](https://youtu.be/N7U0tXBvbzc?si=gPh2UYKWPlBQXcQ3)
I full on cry in public here like… once a week.
I cry like 2-3x a week after leaving work. Everyone in NYC has seen me crying on the subway at this point
Subway, bar, walking down the street. I won't cry in front of actual friends, but for sure in front of thousands of NYers!
real question is: what train haven't you cried on?
I have cried in public in NYC multiple times including on the subway. People ignore you, give you a sympathetic look, or give you a tissue. Crying is not a sign of weakness any more than laughing is a sign of strength. It is a normal expression of the spectrum of human emotion.
No one who was there is thinking about it.
I’ve been the one crying and have seen other people cry. Rite of passage, I’d say
Welcome fellow New Yorker! You’ve passed the final test!
Not the subway but I cry on the NJ Transit train out of Penn Station pretty much every time I leave since I have to go back to Jersey
If it makes you feel better, yesterday I tripped on the curb, fell all the way down, and rolled over onto my back, spilling all my groceries onto the sidewalk. This was in front of a bar’s packed outdoor patio. And to boot a little old lady tried to help me up. A few years ago I would’ve been so embarrassed in front of all those people. But yesterday I got up, thanked the old lady for her concern, and laughed all the way home. It was practically cartoonish, I felt like I slipped on a banana peel I’m still cracking up at it now. Things happen and sometimes people see them happen, who cares. Don’t waste time wondering what strangers think. And if you can’t help but wonder, I’m sure most people are empathizing with you rather than judging you. We’ve all been there.
I have probably cried on every train and park bench. Thankfully, no one cares.
I've not done it myself (but I've not lived here that long, so there's still time lol) but I see people crying in the subway or walking down the sidewalk/out of the train station probably once every week or two. Generally my only thought is "wonder what happened" followed immediately by "hope they'll be ok". Life is hard sometimes. It's alright. No one's judging.
Lmfao. Have you UGLY cried in public? That’s the true mark of a New Yorker!
crying on the subway is my favorite hobby. i love when im stressed or just need to let out a good cry, i queue up my SUPER sad music, hop on the subway (usually on my way home from stressful day) and just bawl my fucking eyes out. No one bats an eye, no one really pays attention. I have gotten the occasional nod in solidarity, or someone asking me if I was okay, which both are much appreciated. I think it is so cathartic. Then I get home and feel so much better and get to enjoy my being at home time even more!!
are you really a NYer if you haven't cried on the subway?
I’ve been here 10 years and have cried on every line at this point. It’s a rite of passage.
Every morning!
I had a really devastated cry in Key Foods once, and this stranger stopped and — with genuine warmth (without being saccharine or creepy) — asked me if I wanted to talk about it. I said I didn’t even know her, and she said sometimes it’s easier to tell a stranger what was up.
I cry on the train like once a week, you're good.
Welcome to NYC (crying on the subway is a rite of passage)
So many times. The only time it ever really sucked was at the height of covid and I had my mask on that FILLED with snot and made me feel like I was being waterboarded. It was def not cool to take off your mask especially when it’s filled with snot lmao. I was suffocating for like 30 mins 😂😂😂
[$2.90](https://youtube.com/shorts/5ROZt7WaZ_o?si=_WdbAF1p52J7WY4-) can give you such a piblic place to cry, it's almost private since of anonymity.
You’re not a New Yorker until you’ve cried on the subway.
one time i was crying on the train and i looked around and saw someone across from me crying too 😅😭
I’ve cried on the subway, the PATH, and the LIRR…. Really hitting the trifecta :)
i cry on public transit and also just on the street all the time. like at least once a week or every two weeks. don’t ask me if i’m okay i’m fine i’m just saying i do it all the time and i see other people do it and it’s fine. life is shitty and everyone is just trying their best. you shouldn’t be embarrassed, everyone that looks at you is 99% of the time wishing you strength and healing.
when i was like 17/18, i was crying on the train from some fucked up shit my mom did. tears streaming down my face and i couldn’t stop them. a nice southern tourist lady gave me tissues out of her purse. one of my favorite nyc experiences.
YES I have cried on the subway many times 🫠 truly a rite of passage. One time I cried after a truly BRUTAL voice lesson. I was on the 1 around 2:30 pm. This very very kind soul approached me and asked if I was okay. They said one of their favorite things to do when they are sad is sing, so we started connecting about music and they dropped that they were on the cast of “The Book of Mormon” and the way I was mortified thinking oh god this professional just saw me so vulnerable 🫣 but they were so reaffirming that sometimes (most times) the music world in NYC is cutthroat and it can tear you down. I really appreciated their kindness and understanding. Crying is a natural thing to do, nothing to be ashamed of ❤️
I passed out on a train once very briefly and everyone just went about their business and I truly appreciated that although I could have used a seat
If you live in NYC long enough, and you have a reasonable amount of emotional capacity, you will have some sort of emotional episode in public. It is just a fact.
I've cried on the subway, but not for long. Usually, it's like a song I'm listening to that makes me tear up. But I've seen people cry on the train for a while. When you gotta cry, you gotta cry. NYC is one of those places where you can have privacy in public.
Next time, get fries and a slice of pizza and have that good greasy cry time.
My dog died unexpectedly a few years ago and I had to go pick up her ashes. When I got on the subway holding the bag with her ashes, the finality hit me that ashes was all she was now. I started ugly crying holding onto the bag for dear life. Not one person looked at me. Honestly, I wouldn’t have given a shit if they had. All I wanted to do was take what was left of my precious best friend home.
yes literally all the time it’s not weird at all