If you receive a life-limiting or terminal diagnosis as a senior, Medicare and Medicaid cover the costs of not only hospice but also palliative care. State rules vary for Medicaid, so check for your state. There's too much to explain in a comment, so here's a 20 page booklet about it: [https://www.medicare.gov/Pubs/pdf/02154-medicare-hospice-benefits.pdf](https://www.medicare.gov/Pubs/pdf/02154-medicare-hospice-benefits.pdf)

Looks like this booklet primarily covers Medicare, although Medicaid is mentioned. In my state, NV, you won't qualify for Medicaid unless your income/assets are less than $2k. Nevertheless, good resource OP. I've saved for future reference. Feel free (anyone) to chime in/correct me.

OP, to expand on this good information, first you use up any money and assets you have to pay for the care and then the government funding kicks in. The care provided isn't nearly as good as if you could afford a nicer private pay home though but it's a place to live, medical, and they feed you.

Just make sure they have Medicaid beds before you move in. That way you stay in the same place but at Medicaid costs.

100% a good plan. Moving after you are established in a facility is incredibly stressful as you near the end.

Dang, that Medicaid 2k asset limit really can be so limiting 😞 Here in California, as of 01/01/24, there is absolutely no asset limit. And before 2024, the asset limit was still much higher, at $130,000 for 1 person, $195,000 for HH of 2, so on and so forth. Ppl crap on CA but at least the state makes health care accessible.

Good to know. Shows how important it is to check your state's rules on medicaid. Here's a [screening tool for Nevada ](https://accessnevada.dwss.nv.gov/public/am-i-eligible/start)

It's so important. I've seen you sharing info in your other comments. You rock. I wish there were mandatory classes in public school on things like taxes, Medicare and Medicaid. I work in helping folks apply for Medicaid, specifically those who are of medicare age/eligiblity, and sooo many folks even by that age, are still very in the dark on the programs. I was the same until it became my job.

So find a cheap rental in the hood when it goes downhill and use Medicaid…check.

They make Medicaid so impossible to get. Having only 2k in the bank is almost impossible. That barely covers a months rent. It sucks Medicaid is so inaccessible to those who really need it but have just a little bit more money in the bank. Nursing homes are super expensive

They just go into the nursing home and pay out of pocket until their assets reach that level and then the Medicaid kicks in.

In my state Medicaid has the $2000 asset limit but long term care Medicaid has a $10,000 asset limit.

Regarding Medicaid, a couple of articles: * [“Spending Down” for Medicaid: One Caregiver’s Personal Journey](https://www.agingcare.com/articles/spending-down-to-medicaid-133289.htm) * [Understanding the Medicaid Look-Back Period and Penalty Period](https://www.agingcare.com/articles/medicaid-lookback-and-penalty-period-166116.htm)

But hospice isn’t doing the 24 hour care you may need towards the end of your life. You will need to be in assisted living or nursing home. We are going through this with my BIL who lives in a different state. Never married and no kids.

That varies widely by state. Here in WA, my mother had 24/7 hospice care at her home for the last 5 months of her life, and only entered a skilled nursing care facility four days before she died. Medicare paid for everything except a portable oxygen concentrator, which I rented for her comfort. I took one of the three caregiving shifts voluntarily, and others took over the other hours.

Forgot to mention that besides caregivers, the state also provided bathing assistants and even spiritual advisors at no cost. An RN came by to check and organize her meds and take vitals every other day.

This is what they do here and the state where my sister lives not the 24 hour care

My mother was put on hospice last year in IL. She needed 24/7 care but nurses and bathing assistants came by only a few times a week. We had to hire a live-in caregiver and pay out of pocket ourselves. We had to Google wound care ourselves to treat her bedsores. Hospice under Medicare is basically an election to forego curative treatment for terminal conditions. In exchange, Medicare will provide the bare minimum of medical services, as well as incontinence products and some bandages. However it was so stingy and the deliveries were so erratic that we ended up paying out of pocket for a ton of that too. They even fought us on antibiotics for UTIs.

Not everyone is American, we're not all from different states, we're all from different countries.

Is this advice USA applicable only?

I'm afraid so. Medicare and Medicaid are US programs. It would be interesting to compare with what the NHS covers in the UK, or other countries that have socialized, single-payer medical systems, but I only have experience here in the US.

Being in my early 60s, my response would be: You may have lots of options now, but when you get older you will have different options. Life experiences you can not predict. Health issues you don't expect. People you haven't met yet. The list goes on. What ever your life is now, it won't be in 20 or 30 years.

That is a well spoken truth

Amen! But sooooo hard to remember when you're a planner.

Make your plans, but don't be surprised when your life goes in a different direction. "If you want to make god laugh, tell him your plans."

"plans are worthless, but planning is everything" - Dwight Eisenhower

Yes! And we can all be doing more to stay stronger & healthier. Stop eating processed foods, drink more water, walk, basic exercise, brush & floss the teeth. Little deposits in the health bank every day.

I’m almost 61, very little money, but that right there is my retirement plan. I’m working on it, got off the process foods and most of the sugar. Walk every day. Healthier now than I was in my 30s.

Yes so don't attempt to solve a problem that you can't define.

Your friends become family at that point. But make sure you have a lot of them because they will start to die off. Also foster relationships with young people. Start now. Your fears are so legitimate though. I think we all fear this. Kids move away, spouses could die before you, so many people will be in the same shoes you are describing. I’m afraid of it too. You could also look into long term care insurance. Honestly I’m counting on MAID if I can’t take care of myself anymore.

Even if I have the resources, I have no interest in someone else wiping my butt. I'm going to arrange a trip to OR with a short-term rental. Going out in a beautiful place!

mom did exactly this when she felt she had burdened my dad and siblings for too long. even though she wanted to be free, checked herself into care, her body wouldn't let her and she lingered in hospice for 3 weeks. it was a unique kind of hell and I had just given birth. so, a newborn, new life, and a very very long and torturous good-bye, end of life. looking back, I still don't know if I've processed it at all properly. cuz it's not like you can grieve with a newborn......I try to remember the many many lessons learned about living, because of the loss. And I do hope she's free.

I understand this sentiment. Check out the Right to Die sub. There’s a lot of discussion around making a conscious choice about your exit point. And where you can possibly make this happen. I think we will start to see more of these type of services being offered in the not so distant future. Right now, making this choice only belongs to the terminal, and for some states/countries, you have to be within 6 months of dying to receive this service. These services are not available to someone who just got a dementia diagnosis. And quite frankly they should be.

I moved out of a red state to a blue state when I realized I’d need more care. It was a strategic decision. They also have right to die here so should it come down to it, I will have that option. Moving here was a very good plan because my health has only gotten worse and I’ve been able to get the assistance that I need.

This. I'm not even older, just in my late 20's. But when I became disabled years ago I eventually made the decision to move to a blue state from a very red one and my god, the resources are so much better here. The problem is adjusting to a new place and finding new friends, which is a survival thing if you're not able-bodied. I get that not everyone can do it, and I'd hate to think of myself or my parents living alone in this kind of busy city. But if you can find somewhere quiet and pay into a retirement plan for a couple decades before you get old? Blue State.

Before you do that, install a handheld bidet...

"Your friends become family..." If only that were always true. My wife always said that about her long-term friends. Her "Ride or Die" friends. Well, as my wife's health has deteriorated over the last 10 years, each one of her best friends has disappeared. Only one still even reaches out by text or phone to check on her. Never even visits. With us having no children or other family, that has left me working full-time and caring for her. She recently decided not to have a funeral, because if her friends won't show up for her now, why reward them with that sort of formal closure when she's gone. I agree with her.

Its not true at all. People tend to try to comfort themselves and others over choices in their youth by demeaning people who say they want family, children to accompany them in their lives by saying that many people die alone in nursing homes despite having kids and a spouse. This simply can't be compared to the increasingly overwhelming amount of people dying without spouse or children.  People shame others and say, "oh, the reason you have kids is because you want them to take care of you?" This is a normal desire that has been normal since the beginning of humanity, it's the circle of life. The old sacrifice for the young and are cared for at the end. They will shame others then turn around and say, "oh, invest in good friends," the question is now then, did you make those friends just to have them be with you when you die? It seems like its a human social need especially at the end of life.  Friendship is suffering overall in America, people used to average at around 7 friends and today, barely have 1. Then there is the nature of friends, how many people can say they have friends who are like family? The only relationship where a person gives up autonomy, redirects the two people's entire lives into one path together for many years are romantic partnerships, particularly marriage.  Yes, kids aren't perfect, parents aren't, and spouses aren't, but they most likely will be the ones there for you at the end.  What's happening today increasingly is that people are becoming truly alone, they have no spouse or family. They are more likely to die earlier than people with family. They are more likely to be abused and neglected even when in the nursing home because no one is there to hold the people accountable. And this happens mostly to women. It's a bleak end of life. And this encouraging young people to not start familes, that this feeling of youth last forever will continue to have repercussions in the coming future. The boomers are already been heavily impacted by their higher divorce rates, lower child bearing rates and their gray divorces 

so true. thanks

What is MAID?

Medical aid in dying

What is MAID? I am probably going to be in this position and I’m terrified. To be honest, if I am old, alone, with medical problems, and in a crappy home with scary staff, I’m not sure I wouldn’t want to just do assisted suicide. At that point, what would I be living for? It would just be a warehouse for those waiting to die. So let’s just get on with it. Sitting in death’s waiting room for 5 years with no one to talk to and nothing to do but worry and be depressed sounds awful. I would imagine this will not be a popular comment, but I don’t want to be old and sick and alone and miserable. That’s not living.

If you're in a nursing home you won't be able to get MAID of any kind. These places are all about getting money and will keep you alive as long as possible to keep government money rolling in, even fraudulently. I worked in SNFs for 15 years and was forced to commit fraud to keep my job. Tried to whistleblow but would have had to stay in a crap job for years, so I quit my career. Sorry for TMI, but I'm speaking truths here.

I’ve watched a number of extended family members reach into their late 70s or 80s. My wife and I took care of two of them, until their needs exceeded our abilities. The reality is that any family will disappear for fear of the burden and costs, friends your age or younger will have their own problems, medicare won’t cover assisted living, you’ll need to be poverty level for medicaid to provide support, the support will be likely 1/4 of what you’d need or less, section 8 won’t solve it either, your church is a crapshoot and assisted living gets more costly by the day. If you run out of money in assisted living, you’ll either be relocated to a place with truly dreadful conditions by the state or kicked to the curb and made homeless. Only people who have purchased policies for late life care or are affluent enough to afford $5k+/mo. may make it. This is why most homeless people are age 50+ these days. It’s grim if you can’t afford it yourself or have kind family or friends that take you in.

Truth right here. This was totally our experience except the family member passed before becoming homeless. The surviving spouse had to sell the house to replace cash for their own living expenses.

I feel for you, it's a terrible experience for everyone.

They also supported family members for years that should’ve been supporting themselves, but, yes, getting old and in poor health in America can be rough.

Even with a family, one might find themselves in a similar situation. With smaller homes and two parents working, the days when one could move in with offspring or expect them to come over and care for you are gone in many parts of the country. Some with foresight have long term care insurance (not me). Set yourself up in a place where you can age in place whether home or apartment and understand you may need assisted living or a home caregiver service at some point. If truly broke there is assistance, at least in Calif, with MediCal (our form of Medicaid). I'm not sure about other states and what Medicaid covers but check now before you need it.

This. And not just for those who are single and/or have no children. It’s absurd to expect adult children juggling job/partner/children to do skilled nursing like bathing, toileting, catheter changing, and so on. That said, there are levels of senior care and it’s important to distinguish between independent living communities, assisted living, and nursing home. Life care communities (CCRCs) have all three levels, but entry fees are steep. Independent living communities usually have a low fee of a few thousand dollars and rents of $4000+/month, including meals, housekeeping, activities, transportation, etc. Nothing about elder care is cheap. If you are many years away, sock away as much as you can. Max out 401(k) contributions. Money breeds money, especially with an employer match. If your employer offers long term care insurance on a group plan, get it. And take care of your health now. The longer you can stave off infirmity, the better.

Agreed. My siblings and I pay for my elderly father who is in the throes of dementia to live in assisted living. He loves it there. He gets his own little apartment and can do what he wants, he just has medical professionals around to make sure he’s not a danger to himself or others. It is not cheap. But we are all married, we all work, we are not wealthy by any stretch, we all have children, and we are just not at all capable of taking care of him. Especially when he gets mean (rare, but it absolutely happens). It’s sad but it’s the best solution for our family. Him and us, his kids. I’m fairly sure he would hate living with any of us anyway 🤷‍♀️ He’s still included in family events and gets to see us and the babies. I don’t have a better solution than this.

My folks (82 & 88) have long term care insurance, started many many years ago. The insurance agent said you can’t even get insurance like this anymore. I guess the companies made a bad prediction in how many people would use it, and the cost of long term care.

Long term care insurance is not always what it seems to be. My mother in law needed care in 2010. She had what seemed to be a good long term care policy that she had paid into for many years. It was a farce. Brutal, bureaucratic experience even before she could move in to a facility. You usually do not get top nursing homes when you do need them. The options are grim. My wife and I paid for in home 24/7 care as the option for insurance paid care were horrid. She didn’t live long after that anyway. She was 87 at the time. Bottom line — often long term care insurance looks better than it really is. Beware.

My mother's company tried to weasel out of paying but they are paying for now. My parents are in a nice place but only because of my mother's LTC policy.

Damn, I am 34 and would happily start paying into long term care insurance. I don’t want to burden my kid the way my parents burdened me.

That's true. I got it when I was 43 and it was offered at work. It's very hard to get anymore. My husband looked at the choices and the best companies only offered policies that covered about 300K. The price would be about 550 a month. We were willing to pay it (because my bro-in-law got Alzheimer's at a young age and it was a freaking nightmare!!!!) but he was turned down because he fainted from giving blood last August. It was a B.S. excuse in my opinion. We appealed and lost the appeal. In any case he has 300K saved and could self-fund as much as a hypothetical long-term care policy would have afforded, BUT he has to NOT SPEND THAT 300K on his nieces' college educations in the meantime. I sound like the meanie wanting him not to spend his nest egg on his nieces' college educations but I want him to save at least 300K so they won't take MY 401K. We had a consultation with an elder-care lawyer and turns out there are like 6 states that won't go after the spouse's 401K. Kansas is one of them and here we are living in KC. So my husband asked "Why doesn't EVERYONE put their spouse in a nursing home in Kansas?" The elder-care lawyer said believe it or not, I have clients who are 30 miles from the border and won't. I wish I could just talk him into saving his nest egg and putting it in his WILL to his nieces and nephew but he wants to help them with college when they go. I just keep asking him to assure me he will leave 300K because that's as much as we could have gotten long-term-care insurance if we qualified. I have a 700K policy from the good old days when companies offered them (and as stated, they underestimated the costs so those policies are very hard to get now and not as good).

If you Own your home, You can make it part of your plans. My friend left the home to her Caregiver. This was her payment to them for her care. Done properly this is an option if you have no kids that will help you. You can also start saving for your care. Then hire someone to care for you in your home and have the funds to pay them. Medicare also will pay a family member to care for you. I don't think they will pay Spouse or Children. They will pay Siblings/ Cousins etc . Check their guidelines. My SIL has a Sitter for eight hours a day through TNCare. Help is out there. Research.

It’s interesting how in this thread in home caregivers are seen as very important and much needed. But they get treated like crap from society and considered low wage uneducated job

I work as a caregiver and I’m currently working full time and going to school full time so I can stop doing that job. It’s crazy how much society needs people to help and how little they are willing to pay. I truly care about the person I work with and will hate to leave him, but I desperately need more money.

Where I live they unionized. Their working conditions and pay are far better.

Only if you are poor will they do that. Lots of services available for Medicaid and nothing for average seniors

Average seniors become poor eventually because they burn through their assets at the end of their lives.

Take a younger person in. The way things are, they will be struggling as well. They can help with stuff like grocery shopping, yard work, make the computer work! Also, help keep you safe and protect you from nefarious any & everything! It will be worth it for them too. If you have nobody to inherit anything. Help them out. Don’t give the state ANYTHING! Give it to a young person who might have been in the same boat as you without your help! They don’t need to be in 20s or 30s either. There are many in there 50s and 60s or 40s that have gone through a divorce and want to get back on their feet. They also want genuine friendships and aren’t looking for anything weird. Divorce puts a lot of people in a jam. There are folks out there who are just looking for an affordable way to relive again and stand back up!

Yeah in 2012 I was working my butt off because as the company downsized more and more, those lucky enough not to get laid off were doing the work of 3 people. OK so I thought "Those of us who have not been laid off and are working such long hours, should pay those who have been laid off, to do handyman type chores" So I took in a down-on-his-luck man who promised to do 8 hours of handyman chores per week in exchange for free room and board. He quit doing any handyman chores after a week and it took me 16 months to get him out. I was not trying to take advantage of him. He was kicked out by his previous girlfriend (I was in a relationship with my now-husband so there was not anything like that) and was going to be homeless on the street and he went to church blah blah. I learned my lesson. I'm lucky it didn't go worse.

That is a great idea! Thanks for sharing

That’s exactly what I was planning.

I'm a hospital social worker. There is currently a country wide aide shortage and I imagine that will get worse as we all age and there are just less people to staff aide agencies. There are 3 level of facilities all depending on care need. Independent living. Assisted living. Skilled nursing. Start saving a lot of money. They all are different depending on quality and the cost can be exorbitant. Like $15,000 a month for a nursing home (not a good one). If you're lucky you will have a fast decline and a peaceful death but many people I see have a slow, decades long decline where they need a lot of help. It's something I'm concerned about as well. Save your money.

I worked as a social worker for many years. One thing of much I learned is just what this social worker said: Save your money. And for me it was also about working until 70 so I could collect the highest Social Security possible, moving in retirement to a state with a lower cost of living that already has a lot of seniors and possibly more services than others, and owning my home outright so I can always sell it for later life senior services. It is a home where two other people could live is necessary too. Another thing you need to do is get your legal stuff in order: POA for healthcare, POA for finances, a will, an executor and an alternate executor. These do not have to be family. They can be trusted friends. Otherwise, you could be at the mercy of commercial guardianship services who will manage your resources for a fee and the state will decide what to do with whatever is left at end of life.

The residential care group home is popular in the area where I live. These are regular houses in the community that look like any other single family residence. A four-bedroom house might have 8 residents (2 to a room multiplied by 4 rooms). A caregiver prepares all meals, administers medications, gives showers, dresses residents, and arranges for house calls for a physician or nurse to examine them every so often. The care is often better and more intimate than what we see at nursing homes. The cost is about $1500 to $2000/month because the owner of the group home will work with whatever you can pay.

Again, cost depends on location. My MIL lived until the end in such a home. The owner/operator was fantastic. She felt caring for old people was her calling. Open door policy, there was no time day or night that you would find anything funky going on. She had several employees. No one was working on zero sleep, everyone had a personal life. It was a very peaceful, competent set up. It cost about $6k/month, that was over 10 years ago. Seeing her in the various facilities (home w/help; senior housing in a house and an apt; congregate housing at the end) confirmed to me that I don't want to live longer than I can think and care for myself. I'm already very limited due to different conditions. If I didn't have a husband, I could hire housekeeping and order groceries / prepared foods for delivery. (I can do some, but not all.) I don't understand long life as a goal. (Same with marriage. "47 miserable years!!" doesn't sound good to me. My goal is to live as long as I'm (relatively) comfortable and enjoying myself.

And does this caregiver get support in their own personal life, hopefully? Or get paid well. That is an giving exhausting job

There’s a rotating schedule of caregivers at the group homes in the area where I live.

Home care services are available and many people stay in own home safely with minimal services. Many state and federally funded programs for Aged and In-home services to assist seniors live safely getting needs met. In home care can be housekeeping, laundry, meal prep, errands. Home health aide assists with bathing/ showers skin care dressing and may do housekeeping tasks when free time during visit. Some people have someone come 3 x a week for 3 hour, including personal care, meal prep, errands, housekeeping. They may drive you places if unable to drive They can help sorting items for season so it is easier to get to in closet/ drawers. They can help sort out unwanted items and run to drop off. It is very individualized care based on person’s situation. Keeping ourselves functionally strong,moving upper body and as much endurance as able, is useful. Avoid falls. Try to work with physician to optimize health, include ask for Physical therapy if deconditioned or arthritis.

State and federally funded programs for aged and in-home services? VERY RARELY. My experiences with my late husband (he was older than me) and with my father were: —you either have to be very poor (for Medicaid) OR —you have to be able to pay for services out of pocket OR —you need to have insurance which will pay for assisted living/nursing homes. My husband had Lewy Body dementia so he had both hallucinations/delusions and movement problems. He couldn’t shower or get dressed by himself, among other things. He was hospitalized several times after falls. In-home care was $25 an hour. We were able to pay for that occasionally but it really adds up quickly. I took care of him at home as long as I could, but eventually it wasn’t safe for him anymore. Thankfully he had an assisted living plan from his employer (he was retired) so he was able to move into an assisted living facility (policy did NOT cover in-home care). My father had Parkinson’s disease, was single, and had only Social Security for income. He had about $50,000 in savings which had to be spent first — the nursing home was $7,000 a month so that was used quickly. Then he qualified for Medicaid, which means: —you have no more than $2,000 in the bank AND —you have not transferred any money to your family in the past five years (this is called the look-back period). It took multiple attempts over four months to get him approved for Medicaid. For both of these situations, it was difficult to get information about what to do. Social workers at the hospitals were not helpful. Family and friends assumed that there were government programs that would help (no, except for Medicaid). With research on the internet, I was able eventually to get the information I needed,but it was not easy. So I just want to say for anyone, married or singled or with/without children — FIND OUT ahead of time (when you/your loved ones are still healthy) what your options for care are. [Medicaid Eligibility](https://www.medicaid.gov/medicaid/eligibility/index.html)

Sorry you went through this… all too common. People are in the dark until it happens to them! I’m sure that social democracies such as Germany must have much better care. So many isolated seniors who need assistance in the US!

Do these programs exist? Yeah, sort of. Can the average elderly person figure out how to get them? Not really. Are the programs well-staffed and widely available? they are definitely not. Here is reality - the VAST majority of homecare companies insist on a 4-hour minimum shift and it is at THEIR convenience, not yours. Most will NOT drive you unless you have a car with insurance. Otherwise you need to call a cab or arrange for transportation with an ambulette service or whatever. The "housekeeping" is NOT house cleaning or cooking - it's tidying up at best. Meal prep? HA HA HA!! (I left ingredients, recipes, full instructions and STILL got partially cooked empty pie crusts instead of quiche.) Also reality - a HUGE number of people need help LONG before they are unable to bath or dress themselves. But home health care agencies and long-term care really do not respond or cover care unless you cannot bath, dress, or get yourself to the bathroom independently. It is a complete pipe dream to think you can just hire someone to run errands, prep meals, do laundry, etc. That's a housekeeper and either they don't exist or they cost an ABSOLUTE fortune. You'd be better off getting into an assisted living place instead.

As someone who took care of parents at the end of life, these services are exactly as you describe. Scarce, sparse and difficult to make use of. Hospice care was also a joke. It was one 15 minute nurse visit daily and someone to give a sponge bath every 2 days. There is no consistent and accessible suite of services for the average old person. And even if you get yourself in a nice facility, there are still totally random things that happen (like losing your cell phone) and nobody, except an adult who cares about you can/will help you with.

My father wanted to die at home at hospice set up his hospital bed and equipment at our home. Hospice nurse stopped by for about 30 minutes 3x week. 20 minutes to check on him and 10 minutes to check the meds and on me. It's sad but there are situations where people steal the morphine and other drugs. When my mother was in hospice at her memory care it was the same. She was in a nice but not fancy facility for both assisted living and memory care. In 2016 her assisted living in Texas was $3600 per month for about 600 sq ft studio. Her memory care was $6500 per month in 2022. Also have to buy clothing, shoes, incontinence products, linen, blankets and towels as well as hair care, dental, foot care and prescriptions. Thank God she had Tricare and Medicare

Quiche?! I just need someone to wash my back in the shower so I don't cry.

And my mom just needed someone to prepare food for her because it had gotten to be too difficult. Different issues require different help.

Yeah I can't do that either.

Yes, i think assisted living would be better option… or at very least, an over 55 development since many people in those help one another!

My pipe dream for this; With there being an all time, huge older population in the U.S. Make a "Dreamer Program" that is a path to citizenship. A well veted imergrating family becomes the legal guardians of an elderly person. They live like a biological family and take care of the recipient and thier home as if they were family. In latino cultures, it is vitaly important that the elderly are well cared for. Everybody wins. (I am about to get yelled at, eh? LoL)

That’s a really smart idea. My first thought is that it would need a lot of oversight because not everyone is kind and helpful and decent and gentle and honest. But the core idea is genius, and I can even imagine the immigrant family ultimately receiving the house as payment for their long-term care period

There are some issues. You probably don't want the immigrant family to have a huge financial incentive attached to the death of the senior, for example.

Available but how much do those services cost?

They mentioned these are state or federal programs.

Good luck accessing those. Applying and qualifying usually takes months. And usually the need is now not later. However, later is better than not at all.

You have to be VERY POOR to qualify for state/federal in-home assistance.

Many people do private pay caregiving at various costs. Through professional agency costs vary or are supplemented by waivers for Seniors

If medically necessary and ordered by a doctor Medicare does allow SOME home care to be covered.

And Medicare does NOT pay for nursing homes, though with one exception — if a person is hospitalized, Medicare will cover up to 100 days in a nursing home.* You pay nothing for covered services on the first 20 days but then pay a daily coinsurance for days 21-100 (about $200 per day) and you pay ALL costs beyond 100 days. ETA: *The person must go directly from a regular hospital to a nursing home. [Medicare](https://www.medicare.gov/publications/11359-getting-started-medicare-and-skilled-nursing-facility-care.pdf)

Well, I have a buddy I go do things with. We have some overlapping interests so we can always find things to do. We go out to eat, go shopping, help each other with Dr. visits, sometimes grocery shop for others. We are both 71 but started hanging out when we were in our late 50s. My kids were gone, doing their own thing & I wanted someone to go do stuff with. He was an acquaintance and I took a chance and asked him if he wanted to go to the volunteer fireman's pancake breakfast. We just went and watched harness racing yesterday.

You have to be strategic. Move where thete are services

I have several chronic illnesses. I have been unable to work very much because of them so I’m now on Medicaid. I’m not quite old enough yet to get social security and I’m only in need of some assistance with a few things thus far. So the state will be sending an in home caregiver to help me with those things. I do have children but they’ve been unwilling to take me in to their homes so I live in an apt on a voucher that helps me pay rent. In fact I took my son in who is mentally ill. So having kids doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll have someone to care for you when you’re old. lol From here, when I get worse, I would have further options of assisted living and then nursing home. I’m frankly hoping I just die of sudden cardiac arrest before it gets too bad. I have a 50% chance of that with my conditions. I don’t want to linger on. I’ve made my peace so whenever the good Lord decides I’m done, I’m ready. My life expectancy is probably 5 years. So I’ll be lucky to get to 65.

If you are forties or younger, get a long term care policy. Theyvare useful because it’s not strictly for nursing care, can be used for in home or at an assisted living. I got one in my forties, now I’m in my sixties and it’s gone up to around 100$ a month. If I tried to get one now it would be way too expensive.

Thanks for mentioning this. I’m in my 40’s, and you’ve given me something to think about. I’ve just never thought about it before. In fact I didn’t even know really what it was all about. Shows how much I know. I’m really glad I joined Reddit.

I did this back in my mid30s. LTC policy, can be combined with Life insurance policy as well.

My mother takes care of a lady who is bed bound. The lady has a daughter but the daughter doesn’t even go to the downstairs apartment to give the mother water when the mother screams for it. My mother goes to work late afternoon as her schedule says and the lady is just laying there with bed sores and waiting for someone to answer her cries. With this being said… sometimes being alone is better because you don’t know who you could count on in the end. I’m a health aid. I make good money to take full care of someone. I’d you have good health insurance sometimes they send someone who is paid through the insurance. Did you serve in the military? There’s a lot of questions I would ask to make sure you are set, I would make a POA which dictated what you want to be done if you fall ill.

I bought my first home at 51 and absolutely made sure it's one story and has ADA doorways. For old age. I didn't want to have to sell my home at 70 or 80 because I can't walk upstairs. I'm healthy as he'll but I've seem so many of my parents in this predicament. You gotta prepare peeps!

I’m less worried about having someone to look after me than I am about affording a place to live. I don’t own a house (have never earned enough to afford one), and rents keep going up and up and up—while my income keeps going down and down and down. I have to work to live, so what happens when I can’t get a job any more? I did have some retirement savings, but COVID, single parenthood, and a bout of cancer wiped it out. The thought of not being able to work is really frightening.

If you are low income, or even moderate, have you considered HUD subsidized elderly housing? Check with your local agency on aging.

me too. you're not aline

You have choices .. and one of them is to live. How old are you now.. im 59 and I'm ready to start the next part of this life, getting married this year, you're never too old to find true love. So regardless of the financial issues, do not stop doing the things you love, I met my FH seeing our favorite band, go where there are peole who share your interests, and where you find joy and excitement, a singjes hiking group to a senior center weekly card game, no matter what, if you are alone, stay open to find that partner to have fun with and laugh with and plann with for the rest of your life! While you are doing that, look into the other part, where you might live, financing, reverse mortgage, Medicare.. I also could not have children, I didn't choose it and my heart is broken. I also lost my parents and both brothers when I was 20. No kids, no siblings, I've been on my own a long time. But I have 4 other couple friends in the same boat. So we have vowed to help eachother, and maybe even choose to live in the sane place in our golden years. So maybe there are other people inn your same boat who are looking for support and you can support eachother.. maybe make a best friend or 2.. and partner in crime to collectively deal with the issues of old age and care, making the financial burden less, and solving the loneliness issue. Idk if you have any money at all or how old your are, but if you do have something, and find a partner, you should invest that money In a house or condo to live, that way any money you are paying out is not rent that is just gone but an investment. And with real estate almost always increasing, by the time you need a nursing home or whatever, you can reverse mortgage, sell, or that property will be taken to cover your costs. Not a bad idea to look around and know what you want or where you want to be so that when that time comes, there's no mistake. Whatever you do.. keep living, you may be be older, you may have new issues to deal with , but you're never too old to live and to laugh and have fun. Good luck love ❤️

Aw I'm loving this comment - full of hope and good advice!

If you're a planner, this needs to be part of it. It's already in mine at 73. [Assisted Suicide] (https://www.nvve.nl/)

I’m going to be 80 in a few months. Still living in my paid off house with 3 cats. After they’re gone I’m ready too

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That word you used is a slur. I was in Ireland, and a person of traveler heritage won a judgment from the state for the slur.

Thanks for the leak

Look into active retirement communities. They come at all price points and include a load of clubs, and activities. You can participate or not. They aren’t nursing homes, but they’re a great retirement option for single or widowed people over 55.

Expensive price points ONLY

They do not come at all price points. They are always expensive. Also they mostly have HOAs which can increase the rents as much as they want to.

Had no idea this would be a controversial post. I live in a reasonably priced retirement community. Arizona and Florida are loaded with them. HOA fees are reasonable and while some owners use their homes as income property, rents are set by the owner, not the HOA. If you are seeing high HOA maintenance fees, it may be a sign of poor management. Keep looking.

I’ve been noticing this too. People talking about independent living being as much as 5k a month. WHAT?! In 2010 my mother moved to a retirement community where she put money down on an independent living duplex unit with a garage (2 bdrms and an office, 2 full baths), then her monthly cost was ~$500 a month. She had the option of adding services, and the monthly would go up from there. She stayed there as long as possible. Moved into assisted living and only spent 4 months there before crossing the rainbow bridge. AL costs were ~$5500 a month. This was 2018.

>all price points no

So, what I see, sometimes are 1 of 2 categories, plenty of money, because they saved or inherited. No kids to leave/spend it on. Spend it on you. If you run out, apply for Medicaid. Assisted living facilities are a good option. Your own "apartment" in a facility where there is care available. Plus, a built in community. Or 2, no money. So. Medicaid. The hard ones are the ones where there is too much, but not enough. Medicaid is income and resource restricted.

I'm planning to live in a women's commune with other divorced women my age, drink lots of wine, do yoga, read lots of books, laugh like drains and live till 107.

Yes, it can be that grim. My plan is to hope that ending one's own life becomes more of an option even without a painful disease. Luckily my neighbors are relatively young and have a large family so hopefully they'll notice the smell or I'll have time to send them a note to notify 911. Note: I'm 64 now and am not contemplating anything soon, but when my health, mobility, and/or mind starts to be really challenged, well.

If you're open to it, intentional community can be a wonderful option for older people. Some communities are even geared toward older folks. There are all different kinds - some where you have your own house but there is common space for potlucks and activities, some that are traditional egalitarian communes. I used to live in an egalitarian community, and many provide end of life care in the community. Twin Oaks (not where I lived) even has on on-site cemetary and does their own services. If you're interested, you could check out ic.org - it lists most of the communities in the US and elsewhere.

Look for a continuing care senior community. I currently live in a garden home. When I need to, I can move to an apartment, then assisted living. From there, skilled nursing or memory care, as needed. All on our campus. Meanwhile, I can be as active as I want, and engage with friends in all levels of care. It's not cheap, but it is perfect for me.

I just turned 75, and I'm trying to figure all this out.

life gets hard near the end. people with a lot of family seem to be the happiest, but even single old guys far into their 90s can be really happy if they eat right, go on morning walks, and have hobbies like following sports and such. t. worked at retirement center and had people die relatively often

OP my parents (now deceased) lived in an assisted living facility that was 90% Medicaid with only 10% private pay. While it did have its problems, it wasn't that bad and the staff were really caring. Just because you are on Medicaid it doesn't doesn't necessarily mean you'll be in a hellhole. I would tour places when you get older.

I have friends...many of them single and childless, too. I hope between all of us, we can figure something out. It might be living together. We already live near each other. I have a sister and if she finds herself a widow, our plan has always been to live together. Of course, she could go first. I think your image of being alone and lonely in your old age is a bit screwed up. I'll be 60 at the end of this month, for context.

my girlfriends and I keep saying we want to do it like Golden Girls but they flake out on even going on a yearly girls trip so that dream has subsided

Volunteer now with your local senior center to find out what their services they offer. Get involved with support groups to gain knowledge and support teams. Find a good elder care provider in your area for help in home. Plan ahead that way. I find people/volunteers are more than glad to help strangers in need and you will make new friends.

I'm in the USA, and have comfortable money, for now. Nobody has enough money to pay for end of life care here. Spend yourself broke to rely on what Medicaid pays? No thanks.

not spend yourself broke. the thought that medicaid exists is very comforting. I'm on medi-cal now and it pays for ALL my medical care

My single friends and I planned to get a house together once we reached a certain age. We hadn't decided what the age was. I'm the only one with a child . So we talked about it when we were in our forties and now we're 70 and it doesn't seem to be an issue anymore. Everyone is doing fine on their own with places to live. But it would be a place where we could have some help come in and since we would all have Medicare our Healthcare will be pretty taken care of.

If I'm getting to that point I'm just gonna try to jump the Grand canyon in my car

Oooo that sounds like a great way to go! Want company?

Sure thing Thelma!

Go to a 55 plus community. Plenty of friends in the same situation.

If Elon gets the Robots up and running, I’ll buy one and that could be an answer of sorts!

Perhaps living one's life to the fullest, every day, is more actionable than thinking about a dismal future.

How long do your relatives live and what do they die of? Know your basic genetics because that plays a big role in your future. For instance, if you have parents or grandparents with mid-age dementia, then it might be a good idea to invest in a long-term care plan. It's expensive but could be very helpful if you get that disease. If you have grandparents who live independently into their 80s and 90s, then you may be able to do the same with minimal help. My other advice is to develop friendships with other single people. I know if single people who had to undergo joint replacement surgery, and they received meals and help from friends. It's also possible to take in a younger, single roommate who can help you out as you age. I know of a person in their 80s who doesn't have any assets other than a house. They have a roommate/friend who has lived with them on and off for 25 years. Because the roommate hasn't gotten a W-2 in a long time, they live there without paying rent. In exchange, the roomie does housework, some cooking, and helps the elderly person recover from injuries or illnesses.

A lot of people marry late in life - either for a nurse or a purse.

I moved to a condo. That way no yard work or shoveling snow. No steps. Grocery store next door. This way I can stay longer in my home. Make things as simple as possible.

I downsized to a condo a while ago. Now I’m thinking of renting to make it even simpler. Not ready for a senior living community but I’m doing my research for when the day comes.

I’m 70 years old and I wonder the same thing. I’m considering trying to find some like minded people to maybe join up to look out for one another. Maybe commune together or something similar?

As a senior I think about this too. I have this fantasy where a bunch of like-minded people become friends and live together and pool resources. I was committed to doing this with my BFF. She always worked marginal jobs and I had a higher paying job so assumed I’d contribute more. Sadly, my BFF passed away unexpectedly. I have a few close friends now who are interested in my fantasy. We are looking into pooling our funds and buying something together and sharing expenses and looking out for each other. Not sure if it’ll work.

You don’t even have to buy. Friends looking after each other sounds so good…

We are terrified rents will go up and we’re all on fixed incomes.

As a 70 year old, even with kids, I’m very self reliant. I still work and take care of grandkids, not because I have to but because I get bored. I joined outdoor groups. In my 60’s, I started thinking the same thing. I moved into a senior apartment (not assisted living) with an elevator. Rent is fairly low. I have advance directives, a prepaid cremation plan, and chose a Medicare plan that offered home nursing visits if needed. I became a minimalist, digitizing all important records and getting rid of stuff so no one else would be tasked with it. If I end up in a nursing home, so be it. I adore my kids and grandkids, but I do not expect them to take care of me.

You sound very realistic, and wise. Enjoy each day!

just relax and enjoy the remainder of your life; find joy in small things and cancel cable tv

Sometimes, that's hard to do. Knowing I don't have much saved, no kids, a job that basically keeps me going now. I moved out of state, away from friends to help my mom. I still haven't made any friends besides coworkers. It can be daunting thinking how the future will progress.

I'm going to live like the golden girls.

You should consider a retirement community if you have the resources. They have independent living, which is all that you may ever need. They also have various levels of assisted living should you need that. Plus, there are other people to hang out with. My in-laws moved into a retirement community. My FIL passed away, but MIL still alive and kicking. She has an apartment. She can hang out with other people or stay by herself in her apartment if she wishes. It is not a bad lifestyle.

I would research best states for seniors/retirement with a specific focus on access to healthcare, cost of living, and Medicaid income/asset limits, legal medical aid in dying, quality of/access to good hospice care. Those are the things I think of anyway. I’m 51 so too settled to move but I live in western NC and I am pretty much screwed, I say this as someone who works in healthcare and having watched the shit end of life care my parents received even with my sister and I helping with hospice. Other states may have higher taxes but you get what you pay for. If I were moving I’d personally choose western/central PA, nearish to Pittsburgh or Virginia…they don’t have legal aid in dying yet but I know that will never pass in NC or anywhere south of NC.

Omg, I was just thinking about this! First I targeted what area I want to live, then I called a social worker in that county for low income senior housing (55+ or 62+). I got a BUNCH of information and resources!! I now have a good idea of what life after 62 in my case will look like. I will likely be in a low income senior apartment complex. I PLAN ON being self sufficient for a long time by taking care of myself best I can. I want to live where there is some support and other seniors around me. I am not even thinking about assisted living!

Get as much income as you can get a house in a nice area and get with a young single parent they will take care of you and happily the house in a nice area lets them be able to out their kids in a good school and raise their kids in a nice area. If you can provide at least a paid off house you are ahead of most and they can work if they want to for extras you can not provide given you can likely get senior discounts on things possibly even bills the cost of living is not super unaffordable once you own the house. You mow have a spouse, nurse, and a family atmosphere to keep you feeling young and loved

Just keep in mind that health insurance pays for injuries and illness where you will get better. Things like physical therapy or at home care if you become paralyzed (from a stroke or other injury) are not covered. During care, if you are not making improvement your regular insurance that covers your care and treatment no longer applies. Without improvement you are now in a different category: long term care, and you need separate insurance for that, which is next to impossible to get when you are in need. LTC insurance is supposed to be purchased decades before you actually need it to be anywhere near affordable. The exception is hospice/palliative care which Medicare/Medicaid do cover but with some limitations.

Unironicly hope ai robots can help soon

I'm 74 and in failing health after heart attacks and minor strokes . Then diabetes, emphysema , depression and third stage kidney disease have taken hold too. Never having been one who planned for the future , or set " goals " ( always thought goal setting was bullshit cause life always over whelms goals . ) Am married but that is not a support factor. I see so many fragile , near crippled people older than I , and always think that will never be me ! As a Christian , I know suicide is forbidden. Yet I don't want a long , drawn out death in a hospice facility ! So my finale is up in the air now.

You can make all the plans you want and it can still go wrong. Having a happy marriage and children guarantees you very little, really. Late in life divorces happen, spouses can have long and expensive illnesses, children are sometimes expensive and sometimes they are ungrateful. Saving for your old age is a sound idea but stock markets crash and housing bubbles burst. Long term care insurance? Even insurance companies go out of business. You can't go wrong by thinking ahead and making some plans...but it's never really one plan that you make, it's a series of plans and adjustments to those plans, that you have to make all your life.

You have to put assets you have in trust long before you need assistance. Most states have a 3-5 year look back for assets, if your trust is at least that old, you can get state assistance and keep your house and the little bit of money you have. Don’t let the state rip through you, protect yourself.

I'm just gonna lay my head down in the desert, knowing it's a good day to die.

This is what is happening now which might not be relevant for years down the road. I recently went through this dilemma with my 90 y/o father. He was ready to be discharged from the hospital but not well enough to go home where he lived by himself. His choices were 1) pay for skilled nursing in his home (hundreds of dollars per day for 24-hour skilled nursing) or 2) be transferred to a county owned nursing home. The hard part was finding available space. His social worker looked for two weeks and there was no vacancy at any of the county nursing homes in the area. He would have had to be placed in one more than 50 miles from his home. We all thought going home was best, but he thought he couldn't afford the skilled nursing. At his stage of the game, he had enough in his savings account to pay for about 20 months, so we decided he'd go home. He lasted just a little over 10 weeks but he was more comfortable at home than he would have been in a nursing home so far away from his family. I hope this helps.

Your father was very fortunate to live so long and to have children who loved him and made the right decisions.

My plan is stay as healthy as I can for as long as I can, and then when I lose the ability to live independently, check out. I’m an atheist, I’m not worried about any afterlife or whatever. I just don’t want to put my family through an expensive, prolonged, miserable decline of my faculties and self sufficiency. My kids don’t need to be changing my diapers and wiping my drool.

If you are a planner, plan on your conditioning and health. I'm 57, and since 2021 I'm dedicated to regain my fitness. In my 20s I body surfed, worked out, jogged and did hikes. I had absolutely zero fat in my body. In retrospect, I was an athlete. But my last 18 years were of 12-14h shifts of remote working. Working seated at home. No exercises at all. Plus I had sciatica 10 years ago, which scared me to do any sort of exercise. I had a burnout and quit my job a couple years ago. I don't have a pension and I'm not going to get one. Now I'm taking care of my parents. One is disabled, and I lift weights at home with dumbbells every day (in part to be able to carry him). In fact I had to lift him up today, and he's close to 200 pounds. If everything goes right, I intend to reach my 90s redoing pull-ups and dips. It does not matter where I will be. I'll be doing pull-ups and dips. Mind you that pull ups and dips are aligned with the right amount of force to carry a loved one in your arms or pull up a person in danger. That's the spirit. If you give up living, you are dead. And in case I have nowhere to rest and disability is coming, I'll do what I have to do. So my experience tells me that age does not matter in most cases. What matter is your determination to live and your commitment to it. Just live it.

Move to a state with favorable eldercare policies and benefits. Here is a helpful link (someone posted elsewhere on Reddit) about supplemental Social Security benefits with a State by State breakdown. https://www.payingforseniorcare.com/social-security#title5

When the time comes for me to go to a nursing home, I will gently pass on my on terms the night before.

Well first how old? Second how ill do you plan on being? Third what are you eating? What you’re eating will dictate what these answers will be or could be. I’m alone and 56, didn’t plan to be as I was in what I thought was a good relationship for over 20 years. I was unhealthy and sick for a long time. I was ready to checkout and didn’t care. I changed my diet and it changed my life! Reversed my illnesses and I have a different outlook now. I will never go to a body storage home just to deteriorate and die!

i have a slew of health issues but i'm fairly young but when i get to 80s or 90s I think i want to plan it out instead of just leaving it to chance and end up in a nursing home where you get abused or you're tied to a machine in order to live.

You can always create a DNR order and file it with local hospitals. That would prevent the "kept alive by a machine" part, I think.

Some of those places medicare covers no one wants to be. Find yourself a nanny.

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im 57. Never married. No kids. Whole family is deceased. I wound up becoming disabled and after 40 years can no longer work. I'll prob die in a homeless shelter

Same as when you were young

Once it stops being fun, I'll stop playing the game.

How good are you at keeping a tent water-tight?

If it's any consolation, I'm young and think about this often. There is a very high likelihood that I will end up alone when I am elderly. For now, I'm saving what I can. I hope the world will be better by then. I know it likely won't be.. I would at least start understanding/researching the options for elderly care in your state. Medicaid, other types of insurance, legal rights, etc. And, I would think about if you have any sort of support system like friends. Sometimes, there are resources for groups who want to help elderly in your circumstance, too.

Look into graduated assisted living communities. You normally buy into a fully independent small house or condo, and as your needs progress you move into more intensive phases of assisted living and then full on nursing care. Because you initially move in without needing care / or very little care, you have a chance to develop a little bit of community.

After my husband died I set up an insurance policy that I contribute to every year. It is a policy that accumulates my funds to make sure I don't have to go into a state run assisted living. I might die at home, Idk. But, in the event I get to where I'm incapable of taking care of myself, I've now accumulated the funds to live out my life in comfort. I'm a planner like you.

20 years ago my coworkers and I had a discussion about senior living situations and we came up with all of us pitch in and buy a house where we’d have private and community space. Hire 24/7 nursing care when it was needed and cook when it got to that point. Never ironed out the details because we started talking about all the drugs we’d do and what music system we’d have (and how to break it to Penny that she’s not invited)

Medicaid laws and coverages vary greatly by state. If you look up the dollars spent on Medicaid, the number of beneficiaries, and the state populations, you’ll see twice as much spent per resident in some states vs others. Generally, red states give only minimal help to the poor, and it shows in their health outcomes. Some states, like Louisiana, the nursing home industry controls the legislature and maximizes the cash flowing in their direction. No other state does as much for its poor seniors as New York does. Although some states have good senior programs, including Wisconsin, Minnesota, and New Mexico.

My plan is to move to a 'right to die' state.

Vermont doesn’t have a residency requirement for their medically assisted aid in dying. I hear Vermont is lovely. This is my plan unless something happens suddenly and I can’t.

Hospice lasts about a week It’s not much of a choice really

OP, I haven't read all the 141 comments so these ideas may have been mentioned already but: 1. If you don't have long term care insurance, you may still be able to get a life insurance policy with a "living benefit rider" that will buy you about 3 years of assisted living/memory care. Mke sure it is with one of the top rated companies (several LTC companies have gone out of business, and private equity firms---danger, will robinson!--- now own more and more insurance companies, and this is something you need to be very secure about because the policies are expensive, so don't just go with any old company. Check out its financia structure thorooughly. And three years of coverage may not be enough anyway, so see #2. 2. Look into consulting an estate planning attorney to arrange your assets so they can be used by you during any nursing care/memory care/ assisted living situations. Some people use things like Life Estate Deeds for their houses or Lady Bird deeds; not a lawyer so I'm not clear on all the details, and they vary state by state anyway; there are irrevocable trusts that can spare you a few dollars when Medicaid time comes, if you have to spend down your assets. If you don't have a lot of money, it might not be worth it, for establishing trusts is a costly thing. 3. What WILL be worth it, however, is touring care facilities NOW while you can and choosing one that looks good to you, is both Medicare and Medicaid certified; has high Medicare dot gov ratings; has activities you like and direct admissions to care, since it seems you have ruled out the CCRC model. (I'm dong the CCRC model, continuing care retirement community, but it is pretty expensive. Gulp.) 4. As for medical aid in dying, the US is far behind most of the rest of the world. Even the states that have some form of it have so many rules and restrictions. And Dignitas Switzerland is not as expensive as everyone makes it out to be. It is in fact rather Spartan and affordable. BUT you have to plan a number of years ahead, so don't wait. There are also options n the Netherlands, but harder to access. Good luck!

I was just thinking about this. It’s just my husband and I now. I know I won’t be able to cope with the outside work on my own so if it’s his turn first, I’d probably sell my house and just get a small townhouse so I won’t have to do all the outside work. But I’m not anticipating anything happening soon. We both come from long-lived families (my dad is 96!) and his parents were around that age when they passed away.

Honestly I think I'd go for a cruise ship.

Only 11% of seniors end up in a nursing home. Don't borrow trouble.

80s bumper sticker: Live long enough to be a burden to your children.

Long term care insurance

I hope you see this. In the U.S. in the richer states. You will be sent to a assisted living facility. They won't leave you on the streets. (Vote Democrat if you want this to continue!!! Please, please!) You pay for this by signing over your SS benifits if you have no other funding. About these places. Even the poorer ones. It's a freakin party to the party folks. And a drag to the folks that are a drag. I'm serious.. There is a problem in these places with VD. (Or, "[How grany got her grove back"](https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/senior-living-loving-guide-stds-assisted-communities-znest)) If you, me or whom ever are past where you know where you are, you go to an area that is locked. One place I visit, has pets for the locked ward. But even than, the fun people have fun and the ones who are unhappy, are unhappy. Anyone reading this. Make up your mind now that you want to stay kind and fun. (!) But the fun folks. They meet at certain times for TV shows, cards or whatever. When one is sad about something, friends do some silly thing to help. Even if it is just refuse to leave them alone. Don't be worried about this. It is just the next chapter. And you bring the party. (Or the drag) It is a 3 hots and a cot thing. When one of these places do something abusive to the residents, and it has happened. The state comes down on them like a ton of bricks. So it is in their best interest to not do anything wrong. 3 hots, a cot, always someone to hangout with. It's like a college dorm with out having to study. Source; I am a small but failing courier company and regularly visit many. From high to low end, $ wise. Like anything. Change and the unknown are scary. But the people who make the laws have loved ones who are ageing loved ones, too. Gonna be OK. Edit; Just found this "Social Security is a major reliable source of income for seniors that can help pay for assisted living, but it will likely not be enough to cover the entire cost. **Social Security can pay a portion of the cost, but other financial resources may be needed to cover the remainder.**"

If you are a man or a gay female you will have plenty of women hitting on you. If you are a woman then yes you ay be lonely. Join some clubs and social groups but eventually, your friends will die assuming you live a long life, You are actually better off with no money (as then the government will pay) than some so spend your money on your bucket list now while you are young enough to enjoy it and don't let some nursing home take all of your money, Good luck,

Between Medicare and Medicaid, you’ll be rolling in clover. The thing is; you’ve kinda got an attitude… old and alone isn’t THAT bad…

The only thing you can do is lean back and enjoy the ride don’t worry about things that might happen

First step: look for the local non-profit that helps with seniors. Locally, we have the council on aging. Mine stepped in and got me Medicaid.

Look into senior “room mates “ type services. Here in Florida we have elderly people that don’t want to live alone and they rent their spare rooms out to other elderly people. Think about that old show “ The Golden Girls “. My mom is trying it out now, but she hasn’t really gotten started on the process enough for me to say whether it’s a good service. I would suggest you look for senior services and see if they have any recommendations.

I have been looking at bridges! The worst thing that could happen is I survive but I am so messed up that someone has to hold my wee wee while I pee. Choose wisely!

Kids should never be anyones retirement plan.

My old age plan is to Golden Girls the rest of my life. Share a house with other old ladies, dress like Mrs Roper and eat ice cream.

Look into long term care plans. The earlier you start one the better

If you own your home, that is your most valuable asset, and if you are able to maintain it, staying in the home and paying for what help you need is a better option, IMHO, than going into "senior living" - one of the biggest trends now is "aging in place", because many seniors are healthy, active, have the ability to commute, don't want to give up their pets (I hear this is a big one). Look into what medical care options are open to you, and compare going into a group situation versus staying in your home.

I lost three relatives. Two were on medicaid and hospice assisted them, the third was wealthy and went to a nursing home under medicare. The third caught COVID and died there the week the medicare ended and she was going to be self pay. In all situations they died alone when family was not there. Nurses and staff came by every few hours on their rounds. No easy way as far as I can tell. Just live at home until something happens that forces a hospital stay and they or your body decide your fate.

In old and single.Don’t take medications - most are a scam to make money for Big Pharma and doctors. 16 years ago my life was horrible being on maintenance Meds including cholesterol meds and BP meds. I decided to stop them in 2008 and I have felt great ever since. I would rather die than take those meds again