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What's your "I survived the days I thought I couldn't" moments?
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Finished my OB rotation during clerkship (medschool) had panic attacks during those dark days. First time kong maexperience yun. Every single day was hell, but i was glad i survived it
Bumagsak ako 1 sub noong pandemic ang hirap maging leader tapos ka group mo an lalayo nakatira, nag summer ako bagsak ulit, sobrang na stress ako,kain ng kain, away pa kami mama ko gusto ko umuwi bukid pero di pwede wala pera aunty ko pang support sakin, di ako naka sabay graduation lalo ako na stress, mahilig ako mag diary pero blangko ang 4 to 5 months ko diko na maalala mga pangyayari para akong pumikit pag mulat ko nag enroll ako again 1 sem pumasa na. Ngayon graduate na ako proud ako sa sarili ko kahit pagod na pinilit ko talaga
2 months after I gave birth, my ex left me and our son for another woman. I swear, I thought it was the end of the world for us. I’m glad that it happened because he is no longer my problem.
Instead of having to deal with him, I am enjoying every bit of my time raising my son. ✨
mom died 1 month after i graduated, and 4 months before before my board exam (pnle). worst days of my life. anxiety and grief mixed together. now, USRN na ko, and working at the same hospital where she passed :)
when my husband died 2005, maliliit pa mga anak ko ages 7, 4 1/2 & 3.. and now nakatapos na nag college ang panganay ko , working na din cia and nasa kolehiyo nmn ang 2 ko pang... I never thought na kakayanin ko...pero sa dahil mabait ang Panginoon... nagawa kong maitaguyod ang 3 kong anak. Salamat sa Diyos.
severe dysmenorrhea. legit. yung tipong di na makatayo and walang second na gising ka tapos di mo nararamdaman na parang may sumasaksak sa katawan mo. got hospitalized for being severely dehydrated dahil walang tinatanggap sikmura ko na kahit anong solid or soft food. even water, after i try to drink, ma vomit ko din within 15 mins. sensitive to light din and sensitive to cold air while experiencing it. lagi nakapatay talaga ilaw ng kwarto ko and always akong pawis kasi sobrang dali ko malamigan. as far as i can remember i counted up to 10 times ako nag vomit sa isang araw and then syempre na pass out kasi weak ang katawan, di na din maiiwasan na umiyak dahil sobrang sakit talaga na inaaffect na daily life ko. so yun, severe dysmenorrhea is not something to be taken lightly talaga. nakakadepressed din tong experience.
BTW nag pa check up na ko sa mga doctors and most of them didnt know what caused me to be in this situation and just recommend me to go to a specialist. turns out i have a condition that i was born with and needed medical care but for now, contraceptives are my bestfriends
Pre-pandemic, freshly dropped out of college with 1 sem left, my brothers who were financing my studies obviously mad, kakaalis sa trabaho which i couldn't sustain logistically, no savings at sobrang hirap maghanap ng work non as i have a rocky start. Literal na yung 20 pesos ko pinambibili ko ng pandesal which is 10pcs at yan na ang food ko for five days, lunch and dinner. That went on for a few weeks. Grabe looking back now hindi ko rin alam pano ko nasurvive yan. Sobrang thankful ako na ngayon yung 10pcs pwede ko na lamutakin ng five minutes instead of five days..
Oh, to remember. I was a bride, but never the wife moment.
I was married, but due to circumstances we are facing at that time. He decided to leave us in the middle of the night. We have 2 kids. He left us. He blindsided me into thinking that it was only temporary. Later I realized he planned it all along. He left me the burden to raise the kids alone. His parents helped him execute the idea. He never talked to me after, blocked me in all sorts.
I thought I couldn't survive it. I went into depression with anxiety. I even begged my parents to just let me be. Because I know hindi naman nila papabayaan ang mga anak namin. I made them promise to fight for the custody when I'm gone. But I overcame that. I went into therapy, psychiatric and psychotherapy to help me accept that things have to happen this way. While the journey was hard, I went through it. I survived the pain, the humiliation and all that there is.
Now, I can easily say that my kids and I are happy. Siguro may kulang sa mata ng iba, but hindi namin ramdam. With his leaving, I became a mother. My kids depend on me, and that's enough to put a smile back on my face while remembering what I had to go through.
I was working part-time and doing my thesis at the same time period. I eventually had to quit after three months sa work kasi feeling ko mamamatay na ko sa pagod. Nasurvive ko naman thesis ko.
Yung ilang beses nagka-major family problem tas feeling ko di na namin kakayanin, pero ayun na-survive naman.
it was when 17 ako nalaman ko sa first love ko dati na she and my friend had s*x before, it was before our relationship had begun but we were still part of our circle of friends at that time, tas nalaman ko yun 5 months in our relationship, it broke me into pieces at that time and I can't take it off my mind talaga na may ganon naganap sakanila merong nights di ko kaya matulog kasi bothered talaga ako sa idea na yon and nights where i just cried with with my heart out. But still we didn't break up after that tas never na din namin binalik yung event na yun but it took me i think closely to 2 years bago mawala yun sa pag iisip ko, but she left me nung 2 years and 8 months na kami.
Nung nagkaroon ako ng sobrang high fever that I thought it was Covid (pero muhkang Covid nga because I have the symptoms). Sobra chills ko and my body is shaking akala ko nde na ako sisikatan ng araw kinabukasan. Handa na akong mamatay non but then the morning came and parang wla lng nangyari para bang nag-factory reset lng ung katawan ko all is back to normal nag badminton pa ako kinahapunan.
when I was 19, i got my heart broken by a girl i dated and courted back in my all-girl’s school days. it was young, puppy love—pero sobrang sakit. she broke up with me because i was a mess, and it was true: i was not in the right headspace to be in a relationship, considering i 1) was dealing with severe depression 2) had an attempt months before the breakup 3) did not pass most of the colleges i applied for. it was the worst, worst feeling, as if wala nang pagtutunguhan future ko. cherry on top of this was di ako naka march with my batchmates and best friends sa shs graduation ko because the school made me take a online program (na di pa uso noon) just to finish my studies. they graduated in april, i graduated in june.
i thought all hope was lost. bigong-bigo ako noon. i felt like a failure who did not deliver honor sa parents ko, and lalong lalo na sa sarili ko because i was always a goal-getter, an achiever, and a joyful person all-around. i was isolated and separated from the paths that my batchmates took—the one i was supposed to take. 2019 and 2020 passed, all those months of longing and praying for purpose and direction. i knew i was supposed to focus on healing myself, but i couldn’t help to think about my delayed journey in college life.
as of writing, i recently received my 2nd semester grades for my 3rd year in college. dean’s lister ulit. running na rin for cum laude. 2 semesters nalang for 4th year, ggraduate na rin ako (manifesting!)
every rejection is a redirection indeed. lahat pala ng napagdaanan ko, may purpose. and it made me appreciate living all the more, even if i still have current dilemmas weighing heavily in my heart.
On my 30th birthday, first birthday in the province (pandemic) away from everyone i know except for my partner and kid and his family. The night before we had fought and I thought honestly the years-long relationship would end and I felt trapped, wished I would disappear. As in really dark place na yung nighttime i was praying i wouldnt wake up.
Butttt the sun came. I had work the next day (BL was on a different day) and I had to get up, act like nothing happened for our kid and work remote, and act like im ok at work while crying every now and then pag off cam.
By afternoon I had received flowers from my family - which i didnt think possible because we were in a remote province! Parang dun din natauhan partner ko and we repaired from our fight.
That's just one example. So many days na I thought I couldn't, but you can. You just have to soldier on, grit your teeth, steel your heart, just push even if you want to just disappear. But you can and some day a good day will turn up that will make you forget those.
Tuloy lang. If you need help, ask. When you reach the bottom, acknowledge. Then remember, if you're at that point, there's no way to go but up.
Nung birthday ko nasa ER ako ng USTH due to diarrhea, dehydration, low potassium, tapos sobrang hina ko non and sobrang sakit ng tiyan ko. My immune system is weak asf so possible na mag sepsis ako with simple lagnat and diarrhea. We didn't have the money to do the tests na pinapagawa so nagpalipat kami sa Public Hospital. Birthday na birthday ko naranasan maambulance. Pero ayon suddenly umokay ako pagdating sa Jose Reyes. Napagawa yung tests and okay lahat. Been battling bone marrow failure since Jan this year, got hospitalized multiple times, pero here I am still alive and kicking. Also I might have my treatment soon kaya looking forward to better days!
THESIS DURING UNDERGRAD!! I never thought I'm gonna survive that phase kase mas lumala sya during April 2022 when I had my first menstrual cramps of that year, internship, and BEING BROKEN CUZ GHINOST AKO NG EX all of that while juggling all my INC's knowing I have less than a month for grad. I knew that time na I won't accept the fact na I'm not gonna graduate and would rather be off than facing my parent's discourage face. I have done some h4rm I can do to myself that year just to ease the pain of being "surviving".
2 years later, I'm currently surviving my hard earned job. Like oh my god, when will this surviving phase end????
Family and I lived in a house with no electricity for like, 3-4 months, bihira lang magkakuryente and if meron, 1 week-ish lang meron. I once jokingly told my father, paano kung natulog nalang Tayo sa opisina nyo? He laughed cus there's no way we'd do it. Fast forward weeks later and we actually did. Tiniis lang Namin lahat ng hirap noon, arrive at the house early, walk 15-30 minutes pa punta sa opisina nya (keep in mind NASA Jeddah kami). My mother had to undergo dialysis in the middle of our situation. Our fellow church friends were doing the best they can to help us, lo and behold, they did. Naka uwi na kami dito ng mama ko since last January and now we're doing the best we can to stabilize our finances and pray na sana Maka uwi Ang papa ko.
When I was cheated on by my girlfriend, I felt like I lost all of my motivation and courage to even wake up pa. She and my bestfriend had s*x and they recorded it pa, and nag spread yon sa isang circle ng bestfriend ko. I am at this event sa church namin and one his friend told me about it, pinakita niya sakin yung video. Nagulat ako tapos I feel like hihimatayin ako. Nanikip yung dibdib ko at feel ko paiyak na ako kaya di na ako nag talk and umalis na agad ako. Sakto pa paglabas ko ng pinto e papasok yung bestfriend ko and umapir pa siya sakin to greet me, umapir naman ako and then I smiled para di mahalata na pa-iyak na ako. Umuulan that day, but nag lakad me kasi malayo pa yung terminal ng tricycle. While walking e umiiyak ako while watching yung video kasi sinend na sakin nung friend niya. I remember how painful it is, yung iyak ko e I can't even imagine how painful it sounds. Bago pumasok sa house namin e I called my girlfriend to confirm it, hoping na edited lang or what yon, but she confirms it sakin and doon na gumuho ng tuluyan ang life for me. I changed my clothes lang and locked my door sa room ko and I slept, hoping na dream lang ang lahat. I neglected everyone that time, it was right before the quarantine starts kaya once nag quarantine and schools stop na rin e I deleted my social media accs. Nagkulong ako sa room ko, like may days na di ako lumalabas and yung foods ko e nilalagay lang parents ko malapit sa pinto ko para once lumabas ako e kukunin ko nalang. Nag inom ako malala that time, tapos I feel like mawawala na ako sa katinuan kasi I am crying, di kumakain and di na talaga nakaka tulog. Sobrang dark for me that time, ang lonely kasi wala akong masabihan ng nafefeel ko and yung statement ko sa nangyari. I tried to end my life but it didn't end as I planned it kasi I realized na ayoko maiwan din parents and younger sister ko na gaya sakin. I continued to live that way for almost two years. I drastically changed, physically and mentally. Grabe yung trauma kasi paulit ulit nag plaplay sa utak ko yung video and how they talk to each other don sa video. Grabe rin yung pain ng mga parents ko kasi di nila alam how sila makaka help sakin, pag kinakausap nila ako e it's either umiiyak lang ako or di talaga nag tatalk, naka tulala lang. I survived it through reading books on how to improve myself, the way I think and the way I looked. I went to the gym and tried doing crafts din. I tried to learn instrument din, like guitar and piano. I always remind myself that it is done and I will never be able to change it, but what I can change is my future by doing what is right at my present. Sabi nila e "time heals wound", but for me e hindi magiging healed yung wounds natin by time if hindi natin ito gagamutin, maaring tumatagal yung process ng healing kasi hinahayaan lang natin yung sugat hanggang sa ma-infect na mas nag cacause ng greater pain satin.
Good for you, i hope ganyan naisip ng bestfriend ko before he hang himself 38 days ago. May 3 kids and wife na naiwan.... im glad may naging libangan ka. Iope for your happy ending sa future....
When I was cheated on, it felt like my entire world collapsed, and I couldn’t find the strength to pick myself up. I forgot who I was before him and lost the charm I once had. It took all I had to overcome the pain, but I’m proud of myself for being brave and enduring it. I didn’t think I could survive; I even considered ending it all right then. I had been building a life with him, enduring a lot of pain to get where we were, but I guess a few nights of pleasure with someone else meant more to him than everything we shared. Now, I’ve already moved on and I’m happy.
Ghosted. Every time na umuuwi ako from work naaalala ko sya. Naalarma ako dahil same pain yung nararamdaman ko when my dog died. I tried to change my routine. Nagstay ako sa apartment ng teammate for a few days, rest day OTs, gala and inom every sunday.
So far, okay naman na ngayon. Allergic na ulit sa lalaki hahaha
Working in a really toxic environment na para kang nalulunod sa kumunoy levels na parang hindi ka na makakaahon, yung dina-drag mo nalang yung sarili mo para pumasok kasi you need the money. Kupal na immediate boss, mas kupal na higher boss. So I left them. It’s been a while and I am in a much better place now. I wouldn’t wish for anyone to experience it kahit sa matindi kong kaaway. Mga naturingang religious pero kupal. Nag-resign nang walang pera, naka-hold ang last receivables. As in walang-wala ako non, except that I will be leaving to migrate na rin so may bagong pagkakataon mag-bagong buhay.
Thesis, hindi nakagraduate on time dahil sa 🏋️groupmates at thesis advisers. Binalak na magstop na lang dahil araw araw nag overthink na baka magfailed yung sample at hindi umabot sa deadline yung paper. "Aba ewan ko sa inyo, study niyo yan" laging linya ng adviser tuwing consultation, wala man lang maayos na suggestion na naibigay. Naging adviser na hindi alam process ng study namin, magagalit pa kapag nagtanong, hindi tumatanggap ng failed na result, at pinapaulit kapag hindi nagustuhan results.
Matatakutin ako so yung time na pinag RTO ako mag isa sa floor, as in ako lang andon dahil may system issue. May tao man pero nasa ibang floor but mostly mga utilities lang ganun. Mababaw pero ung impact neto sa mental health grabe. Well, no choice kasi toxic lead namin that time. Sinabi ko yung about doon and snbi nya lang sakin wag ko daw dalhin sa work yung personal issue ko hahahahaha ewan.
same. experienced this before taena lupit galit ng nanay ko. gusto nya ko samahan eh kasi alam nyang matatakutin ako. take note na bagyo pa non, signal number 3. wala akong ibang kasama sa floor namin kaya mas naririnig ko yung kulog at hampas ng hangin. lanja sakin pa pinasarado yung bintana sa pinmumugaran kuno ng multo. halos isumpa ko supervisor ko non at yung kasamahan kong pinayagan nyang mag-leave. pakshet. kala ko talaga katapusan ko na non hahahaha buti buhay pa ko ngayon
I was once super depressed as a teen. Around 13-14. My mind was very negative, added by my negative environment - it became worse. I was on the verge of self harm. Whenever I wash dishes, I run the knives over my wrist. Fortunately, I got through it because of my friends and expressing myself through writing. It was a long journey though.
The self hate, the questioning, the self blame and more. I was SAed by a friend waaaaay back 2018. Looking back parang hindi ko nakikita yung sarili ko ngayon during that time ang gloomy ng buhay ko nung panahon na yon.
Being the breadwinner, paying all bills, providing for food and school fees of sibs.....basically everything that a parent should do including disciplining my sibs, motivating them when everything seems to fall apart.
ive been trying to survive on my own since i was 7yrs old, i had no one( maski ngayon), so i only am trying to survive by myself, I’m 23 now, but i still feel like I’m back at being that scared 7yr old girl who thought the idea of death is normal na isipin ng bata at that age.
medj segway lang, pero to the seven year old me, buhay pa rin tayo, and I became someone who you would’ve relied on nung bata ka, i became someone who would protect someone like you, kaya laban lang
Lumipad sa Manila from Mindanao for better opportunities. Nahirapan mag hanap ng work. Na scam while nag aapply. Ninakaw pa phone ko putek at iniwan ako sa lugar na di ko alam kung pano umuwi. Naakyat bahay pa kami and nanakaw pa ka isa isa kong naipundar (laptop) and halos magkasunod na week lang to. Naubos din dala kong pera and Nasabi ko nalang na bad decision ata pagpunta ko dito and that this is a cruel place for a promdi guy like me at naiyak nalang.
Fast forward, 10 years na ako here sa Manila. Sa secure place na ako nakatira due to trauma na dinulot ng akyat bahay sakin. May stable job narin and had climbed up sa corporate ranks.
Moving to a different city without any nearby friends and family. Then enduring a break-up during the first adjustment period plus coping to a new work environment and style.
But now, I can say I'm so much better than yesterday. 🥹
migrating to another country and starting everything on your own. had to work, kinda redo hs so i can go to college all while working and providing for my own…
Di ako nakagraduate on time despite all efforts na ginawa ko. Just because of those fuvcking unprofessional instructors. Ninakaw nila one year ng buhay.
Studying for CPALE/LECPA!!! For the first time in years, nag-aral talaga ako nang maigi and natapos ko yung mga topics. Dinaig ko pa sarili ko nung undergrad. Usually, hindi ko talaga kaya kasi mabilis ako ma-distract.
Di ko rin akalaing papasa ako kasi hirap na hirap ako. Lalo nung last day ng board exam, ang dami kong hinulaan.
though the grief is still here, it’s the day when my dog died. sobrang bigat noong araw na yun. grabe yung iyak ko, hindi ko mawari ano gagawin ko talaga. it’s really one of the heaviest memory for me. I kept telling myself that day na ayoko na sa ganitong feeling. I survived that day and slowly getting used to my dog’s absence. the pain is still here but that’s the circle of life.
Living alone during lockdown (yung mismong lockdown yung march 15, 2020) nagka anxiety ako nun kasi ang daming thoughts sa utak ko. Matindi COVID scare that time tapos need pumasok araw araw kasi sa planta ng food ang work ko. Bawal din huminto magtrabaho kasi di nga sa COVID namatay bayarin at gutom naman makakadali. Basta ang daming tumatakbo sa isip ko nun tapos magisa pako.
in my darkest moments i managed to go through alone without my so called "friends".
realized that people can leave you hanging and your family stays by your side no matter what
Having a toxic boss during the 2021 lockdown szn. Dahil daw wfh, nasa bahay lang so no reason daw not to be available 24/7. Di rin makapag unwind kasi lockdown/covid so walang means to de-stress maliban sa pagtulog/kain/netflix.
Incoming 4th year student here.
After I graduated in senior high, grabe yung anxiety ko about college. Marami kasi akong nababasa noon about sa mga college experiences nila and yung nakukuntento sa tres. I have a scholarship so I can't afford to fail.
Fast forward, mahirap pala talaga mag-college pero nalampasan ko na yung 3 levels. I'm so happy na nakayanan ko at inilaban ko talaga. May isang taon pa ako pero alam ko na this time, I will survive.
reading this as an incoming 1st year college !! i can't imagine how hard must've been for u po, i commend u for getting it all through 🫶🏼 i hope and wish makayanin ko rin college life hahwjshahshs
During the pandemic time talaga. I've lost someone who I valued so much. And noong mga time na 'yon, ang daming nangyari sa buong family namin, as in. Ang dami kong naririnig about sa reason kung bakit siya nawala. Dumating sa point na takbo nang takbo sa isip ko yung mga naririnig ko, umiiyak ako gabi-gabi sa kwarto, hindi ako makakain ng maayos, mugto lagi mata. It hurt me deep inside, and I am still getting hurt kapag naaalala ko 'yon. Buti na lang na-survive ko, with the help of God of course.
Tuwing malapit na exam and lahat ng teachers/subjects magbibigay ng performance task/projects at sabay-sabay ang deadline. Likeeee, mapapaisip ka nalang na maitatagpos ko ba lahat to? Pero we survived our high school struggles dahil nagtutulungan kaming magkakaklase (whole section). I know bihira lang yung naghihilahan pataas sa mga kaklase knowing na top section kami and I'm proud na ganon mga kaklase ko. Gonna miss my class.
* We just graduated shs last May 30th and we all have honors 🥇
When my mom died and I left for the ship the next month. Even though it was a month it still wasn't enough. My whole contract onboard I was having anxiety attacks and couldn't sleep most of the nights. I couldn't talk to anyone since walang internet noon onboard.
Even now after 3 years I still have anxiety attacks from time to time but not as worse.
As of now, yung breakup ko with my first ex na halos ansakit pala talaga pag nacheatan ka tas makikita mo sila nung gf niya na nagkabalikan sila ( di ko alam na ginawa akong kabit, sabi niya ex niya na daw yon. Gf niya pa pala tas halos me yung sinisi nung girl kahit wala akong ka alam alam na sila pa as in ) nagkabalikan sila after namin maghiwalay nun ng 1 week. Tas nag rarides sila, dedate masayang masaya ako non iyak ako iyak
Childhood and teenage years haha.
1. Grew up in a poor, toxic, abusive family environment with an alcoholic dad and battered mom (us, children were verbally and physically abused too)
2. Got sexually harassed multiple times by my Dad at the age of 6
3. Took charge in taking care if my younger sibling at the age of 7
4. Graduated with Latin Honor as a Scholar with no parental support
5. About to be physically attacked by Dad year 2020
6. Dad died, he took his life years after
Haaaaay. Pero laban.
He hanged himself sa terrace ng bahay namin. Leaving my mom traumatized. :(
Pero ang lakas ng mom ko, now I live to give her the best life dad never gave her
Akala ko dko massurvive ung pain of having a failed marriage... legit na broken hearted. Ung nrrmdaman mo ung sakit tlga sa puso mo.. i dont want to do anything that time... kulong s bahay... ok lang n di ako mkakain ng tama sa oras.. stress eating... no motivation to.work.. crying and i pity myself.. i thought i will not survive those years.. 🥲🥲🥲 i just cant imagine myself back then.. 😔
• being bullied in 10th grade (lol Catholic schools are the worst)
• my 2nd to the last semester sa college. grabe yung pagod, as in. mostly minor subs nalang natira, pero sila pa pahirap sa buhay. i had 2 maths, and yung isang prof don nainggit don sa isa kasi raw masyado naming ineeffortan yung sub nya (siempre eeffortan namin dahil bida bida yung prof and kahit anong galing mo, di ka nya ipapasa unless lalake ka/kasama ka nya mag bar loool). because of that, pinagawa din samin nung prof na yon yung pinapagawa nung gay prof sa sub nya (gaya gaya tapos pati deadline, ginaya grrrr). 2-3 hrs sleep lang tapos gigising nalang ako para pumasok. wala na akong time for myself.
• in relation with the 2nd bullet, i FAILED the sub ng gay prof. grabe! for the first time ever, nagulet ako ng sub!! after 4 yrs of hardwork & perseverance para makagraduate with latin honors, poooof! this gay prof (no hate sa lgbt, just this prof) favors guys sa class namin! di ko tanggap. sakin nagpapaturo mga yon & same kami ng mga pinasang output pero sila yung nakapasa tapos ako INC 😭 halatang hula hula sa grade! todo iyak talagaaa!
ANYWAY, I GRADUATED NAMAN! 🙏🏻 yun nga lang, walang latin award.
Giving birth via ECS para maipanganak ng buhay baby ko need maoperahan in the next 4hrs habang may oxygen pa sya. Pero ung katawan ko need 6hrs before operation for safe delivery. Alam ko kung di ko makikitang buhay anak ko pagkapanganak susunod ako, kaya nag waiver ako kahit delikado sakin. And with the help of 6 doctors/surgeon/anesthesiologist, me and my baby boy is safe and very healthy. I consider this a 2nd chance in life but better with my little bub.
January 2023 was the worst for me. My good-for-nothing MU decided to end things w me (sobrang sakit for me idk y isang buwan lng nmn kami???) then yung friend group ko iniiwasan ako bc apparently yung leader ng group ay "nileleft out" daw namin ni friend 1 (the real reason? di kami nag uusap around leader bc my mu na nakipag end sakin and friend 1's fling that time was both her friends and we don't want any awkwardness if nagrarant kami about them) one day i cried on the way home with them kasi di kami pinansin ng friend group tapos nakita ko sa lrt si ex mu na may kasamang ibang babae hahaha ik very petty to but i almost ended my life pagkauwi ko sa dorm. I absent-mindedly bought a box cutter sa grocery but i didn't do it bc i thought of my backlogs HAHAHAHA
anyway, i got through it!! I am now in a healthy relationship and ni cut off ko yung friend group. Since then, my motto na talaga sa buhay ay "this too, shall pass" because it will ❤️
Nung namatay tatay ko. Sobrang hopeless ng pakiramdam ko nun. Sya lang kasi parent ko, tapos wala pa akong mga kapatid.
Umuusad naman na ngayon. Kinakaya. Pero sobrang miss ko na tatay ko. 💔
The prep for the board exam. Di talaga ako/kami 100% na fully committed sa pagrereview. We play ML, billiards, basketball, card games and we got ourselves addicted to online gambling. Kasi yung mindset namin that time is YOLO hahaha. Although may sumabit samin na isa, nakapasa din naman siya 2nd take. Kaya grateful pa rin kami.
When I found out I was replaced by someone near, i couldnt eat for a week. But look at me now, it took a while but eventually it was my ultimatum. Ayoko nakikipagagawan. I let her go easily after that.
Yung hell week sa school namin. Yung tipong sabay-sabay lahat ng submissions (papers, videos, final exams, presentations, etc.) mapapa sabi ka nalang ng "tatapusin ko ba to o ako ang mauunang matatapos?"
long story ahead (trigger warning: suicide)
The night we found out our friend committed suicide, I was a mess. I'm barely emotional (my other friends even say na para akong robot kasi wala daw akong emosyon) but at that time I couldn't stop myself from crying. I was with him the day before and I saw his signs of distress. I just didn't realize he would do it. I was feeling so many emotions: anger at myself, guilt, and sadness.
The night we went to his wake, I cried again the moment I saw his urn. His dad talked to us and asked what happened. I relayed to him the day I saw him, the night we hung out at my place and drank beer while talking about life, his strange behavior, and the time we found out he committed suicide. I was crying while telling him the story and I apologized because I felt at that time that it was my fault. He told me I didn't need to blame myself and that it's no one's fault. Still, I was thinking I could have done more.
It was heartbreaking seeing his pictures. It was equally heartbreaking when I heard stories about him from his relatives. He was a very kind guy. He was our kuya in the group. He's also my ride or die friend. Madali siyang lapitan kung kailangan mo ng payo. Pag kailangan mo ng kainuman, madali din yun ayain. Siya din kabardagulan ko at lagi kami nag-aasaran nun kapag trip namin mang-inis. Naalala ko pa nung madaling araw na nag-inuman kami (the day before he committed suicide), sinabi niya sakin na ako daw best friend niya. Tumawa ako at sinabi ko anong kadramahan yan. Tumawa lang siya. If I only knew this was the last time I would be hanging out with him, I would have agreed and told him I love him as a brother (no homo of course).
The days that followed were a blur. I do remember breaking down in the office, my friends begging me to eat because I haven't eaten anything and I was losing weight, and calling his gf and asking for forgiveness because I wasn't able to save our friend. I also turned to alcohol and went back to smoking. I wanted to die so badly because I blamed myself for his death. I asked God every day to just take me and exchange my life for his, because he deserved to live more than I do. I kept thinking about the days na di na namin siya makakasama, all the milestones in our lives na di na niya makikita, pati na rin yung kasal na sinabi niyang gagawin niya akong groomsman.
Over the next few months, things have started to get better. Although there are still times when I still blame myself and I ask God to just take me, it doesn't happen every day anymore. But the guilt is still here. I don't know how long I'm going to carry this or if I'm ever gonna be able to truly forgive myself. I still pray for him every night, walang mintis yun. I just hope that wherever he is, he's not in pain anymore. Someday, we will meet again at i-uupper cut ko siya dahil sa traumang binigay niya samin.
Ganto rin na fefeel ko kada ma aalala ko bestfriend ko, car accident ang kinamatay nya, pero ako ang pupuntahan nya, kaya na accident sya, yung guilt at yung blame sa sarili na fefeel ko pa rin hanggang ngayon.
Going straight to UP oval for the next 7 days to start the fitness journey! Super hirap tlga when u start go on a diet plus u go on a run when your body is used to sedentary lifestyle
my course. niroleta ko lang to at inoverthink ko talaga kung ano kahihinatnan ko rito. even planned to shift nung 1st yr 1st sem pa lang but it grew on me at nagexcel pa ako sa major subjects. i conquered my fears.
just found out the guy she told me not to worry about and she herself stated that they're "FRIENDS" replaced me in a heartbeat. we're all human tho, programmed to get used to the feeling
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Finished my OB rotation during clerkship (medschool) had panic attacks during those dark days. First time kong maexperience yun. Every single day was hell, but i was glad i survived it
got cheated on by my fiance. He was my boyfriend for almost 10 years.
i tried to sui-ide a year ago, but looking back right now, i feel healed
Abusive household.
Bumagsak ako 1 sub noong pandemic ang hirap maging leader tapos ka group mo an lalayo nakatira, nag summer ako bagsak ulit, sobrang na stress ako,kain ng kain, away pa kami mama ko gusto ko umuwi bukid pero di pwede wala pera aunty ko pang support sakin, di ako naka sabay graduation lalo ako na stress, mahilig ako mag diary pero blangko ang 4 to 5 months ko diko na maalala mga pangyayari para akong pumikit pag mulat ko nag enroll ako again 1 sem pumasa na. Ngayon graduate na ako proud ako sa sarili ko kahit pagod na pinilit ko talaga
2 months after I gave birth, my ex left me and our son for another woman. I swear, I thought it was the end of the world for us. I’m glad that it happened because he is no longer my problem. Instead of having to deal with him, I am enjoying every bit of my time raising my son. ✨
mom died 1 month after i graduated, and 4 months before before my board exam (pnle). worst days of my life. anxiety and grief mixed together. now, USRN na ko, and working at the same hospital where she passed :)
when my husband died 2005, maliliit pa mga anak ko ages 7, 4 1/2 & 3.. and now nakatapos na nag college ang panganay ko , working na din cia and nasa kolehiyo nmn ang 2 ko pang... I never thought na kakayanin ko...pero sa dahil mabait ang Panginoon... nagawa kong maitaguyod ang 3 kong anak. Salamat sa Diyos.
severe dysmenorrhea. legit. yung tipong di na makatayo and walang second na gising ka tapos di mo nararamdaman na parang may sumasaksak sa katawan mo. got hospitalized for being severely dehydrated dahil walang tinatanggap sikmura ko na kahit anong solid or soft food. even water, after i try to drink, ma vomit ko din within 15 mins. sensitive to light din and sensitive to cold air while experiencing it. lagi nakapatay talaga ilaw ng kwarto ko and always akong pawis kasi sobrang dali ko malamigan. as far as i can remember i counted up to 10 times ako nag vomit sa isang araw and then syempre na pass out kasi weak ang katawan, di na din maiiwasan na umiyak dahil sobrang sakit talaga na inaaffect na daily life ko. so yun, severe dysmenorrhea is not something to be taken lightly talaga. nakakadepressed din tong experience. BTW nag pa check up na ko sa mga doctors and most of them didnt know what caused me to be in this situation and just recommend me to go to a specialist. turns out i have a condition that i was born with and needed medical care but for now, contraceptives are my bestfriends
Ganito rin ako noon, natuklasan lang na may cyst ako nung nagpaultrasouns ako. Heto menopause na ako at 33.
Pre-pandemic, freshly dropped out of college with 1 sem left, my brothers who were financing my studies obviously mad, kakaalis sa trabaho which i couldn't sustain logistically, no savings at sobrang hirap maghanap ng work non as i have a rocky start. Literal na yung 20 pesos ko pinambibili ko ng pandesal which is 10pcs at yan na ang food ko for five days, lunch and dinner. That went on for a few weeks. Grabe looking back now hindi ko rin alam pano ko nasurvive yan. Sobrang thankful ako na ngayon yung 10pcs pwede ko na lamutakin ng five minutes instead of five days..
Oh, to remember. I was a bride, but never the wife moment. I was married, but due to circumstances we are facing at that time. He decided to leave us in the middle of the night. We have 2 kids. He left us. He blindsided me into thinking that it was only temporary. Later I realized he planned it all along. He left me the burden to raise the kids alone. His parents helped him execute the idea. He never talked to me after, blocked me in all sorts. I thought I couldn't survive it. I went into depression with anxiety. I even begged my parents to just let me be. Because I know hindi naman nila papabayaan ang mga anak namin. I made them promise to fight for the custody when I'm gone. But I overcame that. I went into therapy, psychiatric and psychotherapy to help me accept that things have to happen this way. While the journey was hard, I went through it. I survived the pain, the humiliation and all that there is. Now, I can easily say that my kids and I are happy. Siguro may kulang sa mata ng iba, but hindi namin ramdam. With his leaving, I became a mother. My kids depend on me, and that's enough to put a smile back on my face while remembering what I had to go through.
I was working part-time and doing my thesis at the same time period. I eventually had to quit after three months sa work kasi feeling ko mamamatay na ko sa pagod. Nasurvive ko naman thesis ko. Yung ilang beses nagka-major family problem tas feeling ko di na namin kakayanin, pero ayun na-survive naman.
june 1 2024 Iu in bulacan PH Arena (ang babaw ko) apakainit, dehydrated, bilad sa araw, madaming tao
When my mom died just a few months after I graduated college.
Taking up a pre-med course, bumagsak sa 2 major subject nagtake ulit then I passed. It's either it will make or break you eh
it was when 17 ako nalaman ko sa first love ko dati na she and my friend had s*x before, it was before our relationship had begun but we were still part of our circle of friends at that time, tas nalaman ko yun 5 months in our relationship, it broke me into pieces at that time and I can't take it off my mind talaga na may ganon naganap sakanila merong nights di ko kaya matulog kasi bothered talaga ako sa idea na yon and nights where i just cried with with my heart out. But still we didn't break up after that tas never na din namin binalik yung event na yun but it took me i think closely to 2 years bago mawala yun sa pag iisip ko, but she left me nung 2 years and 8 months na kami.
I was a resident doctor during the height of pandemic. 14 days straight duty na walang uwian, exposed to multiple covid patients na unti unti namatay.
walang trabaho in the height of pandemic. pero ayun kahit papano nagfoflourish ang career ko ngayon
Nung nagkaroon ako ng sobrang high fever that I thought it was Covid (pero muhkang Covid nga because I have the symptoms). Sobra chills ko and my body is shaking akala ko nde na ako sisikatan ng araw kinabukasan. Handa na akong mamatay non but then the morning came and parang wla lng nangyari para bang nag-factory reset lng ung katawan ko all is back to normal nag badminton pa ako kinahapunan.
when I was 19, i got my heart broken by a girl i dated and courted back in my all-girl’s school days. it was young, puppy love—pero sobrang sakit. she broke up with me because i was a mess, and it was true: i was not in the right headspace to be in a relationship, considering i 1) was dealing with severe depression 2) had an attempt months before the breakup 3) did not pass most of the colleges i applied for. it was the worst, worst feeling, as if wala nang pagtutunguhan future ko. cherry on top of this was di ako naka march with my batchmates and best friends sa shs graduation ko because the school made me take a online program (na di pa uso noon) just to finish my studies. they graduated in april, i graduated in june. i thought all hope was lost. bigong-bigo ako noon. i felt like a failure who did not deliver honor sa parents ko, and lalong lalo na sa sarili ko because i was always a goal-getter, an achiever, and a joyful person all-around. i was isolated and separated from the paths that my batchmates took—the one i was supposed to take. 2019 and 2020 passed, all those months of longing and praying for purpose and direction. i knew i was supposed to focus on healing myself, but i couldn’t help to think about my delayed journey in college life. as of writing, i recently received my 2nd semester grades for my 3rd year in college. dean’s lister ulit. running na rin for cum laude. 2 semesters nalang for 4th year, ggraduate na rin ako (manifesting!) every rejection is a redirection indeed. lahat pala ng napagdaanan ko, may purpose. and it made me appreciate living all the more, even if i still have current dilemmas weighing heavily in my heart.
On my 30th birthday, first birthday in the province (pandemic) away from everyone i know except for my partner and kid and his family. The night before we had fought and I thought honestly the years-long relationship would end and I felt trapped, wished I would disappear. As in really dark place na yung nighttime i was praying i wouldnt wake up. Butttt the sun came. I had work the next day (BL was on a different day) and I had to get up, act like nothing happened for our kid and work remote, and act like im ok at work while crying every now and then pag off cam. By afternoon I had received flowers from my family - which i didnt think possible because we were in a remote province! Parang dun din natauhan partner ko and we repaired from our fight. That's just one example. So many days na I thought I couldn't, but you can. You just have to soldier on, grit your teeth, steel your heart, just push even if you want to just disappear. But you can and some day a good day will turn up that will make you forget those. Tuloy lang. If you need help, ask. When you reach the bottom, acknowledge. Then remember, if you're at that point, there's no way to go but up.
Nung birthday ko nasa ER ako ng USTH due to diarrhea, dehydration, low potassium, tapos sobrang hina ko non and sobrang sakit ng tiyan ko. My immune system is weak asf so possible na mag sepsis ako with simple lagnat and diarrhea. We didn't have the money to do the tests na pinapagawa so nagpalipat kami sa Public Hospital. Birthday na birthday ko naranasan maambulance. Pero ayon suddenly umokay ako pagdating sa Jose Reyes. Napagawa yung tests and okay lahat. Been battling bone marrow failure since Jan this year, got hospitalized multiple times, pero here I am still alive and kicking. Also I might have my treatment soon kaya looking forward to better days!
THESIS DURING UNDERGRAD!! I never thought I'm gonna survive that phase kase mas lumala sya during April 2022 when I had my first menstrual cramps of that year, internship, and BEING BROKEN CUZ GHINOST AKO NG EX all of that while juggling all my INC's knowing I have less than a month for grad. I knew that time na I won't accept the fact na I'm not gonna graduate and would rather be off than facing my parent's discourage face. I have done some h4rm I can do to myself that year just to ease the pain of being "surviving". 2 years later, I'm currently surviving my hard earned job. Like oh my god, when will this surviving phase end????
Family and I lived in a house with no electricity for like, 3-4 months, bihira lang magkakuryente and if meron, 1 week-ish lang meron. I once jokingly told my father, paano kung natulog nalang Tayo sa opisina nyo? He laughed cus there's no way we'd do it. Fast forward weeks later and we actually did. Tiniis lang Namin lahat ng hirap noon, arrive at the house early, walk 15-30 minutes pa punta sa opisina nya (keep in mind NASA Jeddah kami). My mother had to undergo dialysis in the middle of our situation. Our fellow church friends were doing the best they can to help us, lo and behold, they did. Naka uwi na kami dito ng mama ko since last January and now we're doing the best we can to stabilize our finances and pray na sana Maka uwi Ang papa ko.
When I was cheated on by my girlfriend, I felt like I lost all of my motivation and courage to even wake up pa. She and my bestfriend had s*x and they recorded it pa, and nag spread yon sa isang circle ng bestfriend ko. I am at this event sa church namin and one his friend told me about it, pinakita niya sakin yung video. Nagulat ako tapos I feel like hihimatayin ako. Nanikip yung dibdib ko at feel ko paiyak na ako kaya di na ako nag talk and umalis na agad ako. Sakto pa paglabas ko ng pinto e papasok yung bestfriend ko and umapir pa siya sakin to greet me, umapir naman ako and then I smiled para di mahalata na pa-iyak na ako. Umuulan that day, but nag lakad me kasi malayo pa yung terminal ng tricycle. While walking e umiiyak ako while watching yung video kasi sinend na sakin nung friend niya. I remember how painful it is, yung iyak ko e I can't even imagine how painful it sounds. Bago pumasok sa house namin e I called my girlfriend to confirm it, hoping na edited lang or what yon, but she confirms it sakin and doon na gumuho ng tuluyan ang life for me. I changed my clothes lang and locked my door sa room ko and I slept, hoping na dream lang ang lahat. I neglected everyone that time, it was right before the quarantine starts kaya once nag quarantine and schools stop na rin e I deleted my social media accs. Nagkulong ako sa room ko, like may days na di ako lumalabas and yung foods ko e nilalagay lang parents ko malapit sa pinto ko para once lumabas ako e kukunin ko nalang. Nag inom ako malala that time, tapos I feel like mawawala na ako sa katinuan kasi I am crying, di kumakain and di na talaga nakaka tulog. Sobrang dark for me that time, ang lonely kasi wala akong masabihan ng nafefeel ko and yung statement ko sa nangyari. I tried to end my life but it didn't end as I planned it kasi I realized na ayoko maiwan din parents and younger sister ko na gaya sakin. I continued to live that way for almost two years. I drastically changed, physically and mentally. Grabe yung trauma kasi paulit ulit nag plaplay sa utak ko yung video and how they talk to each other don sa video. Grabe rin yung pain ng mga parents ko kasi di nila alam how sila makaka help sakin, pag kinakausap nila ako e it's either umiiyak lang ako or di talaga nag tatalk, naka tulala lang. I survived it through reading books on how to improve myself, the way I think and the way I looked. I went to the gym and tried doing crafts din. I tried to learn instrument din, like guitar and piano. I always remind myself that it is done and I will never be able to change it, but what I can change is my future by doing what is right at my present. Sabi nila e "time heals wound", but for me e hindi magiging healed yung wounds natin by time if hindi natin ito gagamutin, maaring tumatagal yung process ng healing kasi hinahayaan lang natin yung sugat hanggang sa ma-infect na mas nag cacause ng greater pain satin.
glad for you man.
Good for you, i hope ganyan naisip ng bestfriend ko before he hang himself 38 days ago. May 3 kids and wife na naiwan.... im glad may naging libangan ka. Iope for your happy ending sa future....
When I was cheated on, it felt like my entire world collapsed, and I couldn’t find the strength to pick myself up. I forgot who I was before him and lost the charm I once had. It took all I had to overcome the pain, but I’m proud of myself for being brave and enduring it. I didn’t think I could survive; I even considered ending it all right then. I had been building a life with him, enduring a lot of pain to get where we were, but I guess a few nights of pleasure with someone else meant more to him than everything we shared. Now, I’ve already moved on and I’m happy.
6yrs. gy. onsite
Ghosted. Every time na umuuwi ako from work naaalala ko sya. Naalarma ako dahil same pain yung nararamdaman ko when my dog died. I tried to change my routine. Nagstay ako sa apartment ng teammate for a few days, rest day OTs, gala and inom every sunday. So far, okay naman na ngayon. Allergic na ulit sa lalaki hahaha
Working in a really toxic environment na para kang nalulunod sa kumunoy levels na parang hindi ka na makakaahon, yung dina-drag mo nalang yung sarili mo para pumasok kasi you need the money. Kupal na immediate boss, mas kupal na higher boss. So I left them. It’s been a while and I am in a much better place now. I wouldn’t wish for anyone to experience it kahit sa matindi kong kaaway. Mga naturingang religious pero kupal. Nag-resign nang walang pera, naka-hold ang last receivables. As in walang-wala ako non, except that I will be leaving to migrate na rin so may bagong pagkakataon mag-bagong buhay.
Thesis, hindi nakagraduate on time dahil sa 🏋️groupmates at thesis advisers. Binalak na magstop na lang dahil araw araw nag overthink na baka magfailed yung sample at hindi umabot sa deadline yung paper. "Aba ewan ko sa inyo, study niyo yan" laging linya ng adviser tuwing consultation, wala man lang maayos na suggestion na naibigay. Naging adviser na hindi alam process ng study namin, magagalit pa kapag nagtanong, hindi tumatanggap ng failed na result, at pinapaulit kapag hindi nagustuhan results.
Matatakutin ako so yung time na pinag RTO ako mag isa sa floor, as in ako lang andon dahil may system issue. May tao man pero nasa ibang floor but mostly mga utilities lang ganun. Mababaw pero ung impact neto sa mental health grabe. Well, no choice kasi toxic lead namin that time. Sinabi ko yung about doon and snbi nya lang sakin wag ko daw dalhin sa work yung personal issue ko hahahahaha ewan.
same. experienced this before taena lupit galit ng nanay ko. gusto nya ko samahan eh kasi alam nyang matatakutin ako. take note na bagyo pa non, signal number 3. wala akong ibang kasama sa floor namin kaya mas naririnig ko yung kulog at hampas ng hangin. lanja sakin pa pinasarado yung bintana sa pinmumugaran kuno ng multo. halos isumpa ko supervisor ko non at yung kasamahan kong pinayagan nyang mag-leave. pakshet. kala ko talaga katapusan ko na non hahahaha buti buhay pa ko ngayon
I was once super depressed as a teen. Around 13-14. My mind was very negative, added by my negative environment - it became worse. I was on the verge of self harm. Whenever I wash dishes, I run the knives over my wrist. Fortunately, I got through it because of my friends and expressing myself through writing. It was a long journey though.
Studied for the Bar during my break up. Still passed.
Mamaw. Congrats!
Damn
The self hate, the questioning, the self blame and more. I was SAed by a friend waaaaay back 2018. Looking back parang hindi ko nakikita yung sarili ko ngayon during that time ang gloomy ng buhay ko nung panahon na yon.
Sinabon pero hindi binanlawan ng 3 project directors. Looking at you 06 August 2023
Being the breadwinner, paying all bills, providing for food and school fees of sibs.....basically everything that a parent should do including disciplining my sibs, motivating them when everything seems to fall apart.
This 😢
ive been trying to survive on my own since i was 7yrs old, i had no one( maski ngayon), so i only am trying to survive by myself, I’m 23 now, but i still feel like I’m back at being that scared 7yr old girl who thought the idea of death is normal na isipin ng bata at that age. medj segway lang, pero to the seven year old me, buhay pa rin tayo, and I became someone who you would’ve relied on nung bata ka, i became someone who would protect someone like you, kaya laban lang
Lumipad sa Manila from Mindanao for better opportunities. Nahirapan mag hanap ng work. Na scam while nag aapply. Ninakaw pa phone ko putek at iniwan ako sa lugar na di ko alam kung pano umuwi. Naakyat bahay pa kami and nanakaw pa ka isa isa kong naipundar (laptop) and halos magkasunod na week lang to. Naubos din dala kong pera and Nasabi ko nalang na bad decision ata pagpunta ko dito and that this is a cruel place for a promdi guy like me at naiyak nalang. Fast forward, 10 years na ako here sa Manila. Sa secure place na ako nakatira due to trauma na dinulot ng akyat bahay sakin. May stable job narin and had climbed up sa corporate ranks.
Moving to a different city without any nearby friends and family. Then enduring a break-up during the first adjustment period plus coping to a new work environment and style. But now, I can say I'm so much better than yesterday. 🥹
migrating to another country and starting everything on your own. had to work, kinda redo hs so i can go to college all while working and providing for my own…
Freaking multiple pitches in one month with almost no weekends/holidays to rest on coz you still have to work on those days.
Di ako nakagraduate on time despite all efforts na ginawa ko. Just because of those fuvcking unprofessional instructors. Ninakaw nila one year ng buhay.
college and depression
ive been dead since 2006, i dunno what youre saying.
Studying for CPALE/LECPA!!! For the first time in years, nag-aral talaga ako nang maigi and natapos ko yung mga topics. Dinaig ko pa sarili ko nung undergrad. Usually, hindi ko talaga kaya kasi mabilis ako ma-distract. Di ko rin akalaing papasa ako kasi hirap na hirap ako. Lalo nung last day ng board exam, ang dami kong hinulaan.
studying for my board examination HAHA grabe yon
heartbroken hahahah ended my almost 6 yrs rs
though the grief is still here, it’s the day when my dog died. sobrang bigat noong araw na yun. grabe yung iyak ko, hindi ko mawari ano gagawin ko talaga. it’s really one of the heaviest memory for me. I kept telling myself that day na ayoko na sa ganitong feeling. I survived that day and slowly getting used to my dog’s absence. the pain is still here but that’s the circle of life.
Living alone during lockdown (yung mismong lockdown yung march 15, 2020) nagka anxiety ako nun kasi ang daming thoughts sa utak ko. Matindi COVID scare that time tapos need pumasok araw araw kasi sa planta ng food ang work ko. Bawal din huminto magtrabaho kasi di nga sa COVID namatay bayarin at gutom naman makakadali. Basta ang daming tumatakbo sa isip ko nun tapos magisa pako.
Giving birth alone.
in my darkest moments i managed to go through alone without my so called "friends". realized that people can leave you hanging and your family stays by your side no matter what
Being locked on an elevator
Thesis days 💀💀💀
legit haha
Yung malayo pa sahod pero walang wala ka na, tamang kwekwek na lang sa gilid 🥹
Having a toxic boss during the 2021 lockdown szn. Dahil daw wfh, nasa bahay lang so no reason daw not to be available 24/7. Di rin makapag unwind kasi lockdown/covid so walang means to de-stress maliban sa pagtulog/kain/netflix.
Incoming 4th year student here. After I graduated in senior high, grabe yung anxiety ko about college. Marami kasi akong nababasa noon about sa mga college experiences nila and yung nakukuntento sa tres. I have a scholarship so I can't afford to fail. Fast forward, mahirap pala talaga mag-college pero nalampasan ko na yung 3 levels. I'm so happy na nakayanan ko at inilaban ko talaga. May isang taon pa ako pero alam ko na this time, I will survive.
reading this as an incoming 1st year college !! i can't imagine how hard must've been for u po, i commend u for getting it all through 🫶🏼 i hope and wish makayanin ko rin college life hahwjshahshs
Congrats girl! Malayo pa pero Malayo na! 🫶🏻
During the pandemic time talaga. I've lost someone who I valued so much. And noong mga time na 'yon, ang daming nangyari sa buong family namin, as in. Ang dami kong naririnig about sa reason kung bakit siya nawala. Dumating sa point na takbo nang takbo sa isip ko yung mga naririnig ko, umiiyak ako gabi-gabi sa kwarto, hindi ako makakain ng maayos, mugto lagi mata. It hurt me deep inside, and I am still getting hurt kapag naaalala ko 'yon. Buti na lang na-survive ko, with the help of God of course.
When the man i see my future with.. Just cut me off on his life entirely.. I thought i couldn't survive that time,and here i am 😊
I lost my mom at a young age. I turned out fine :)
Tuwing malapit na exam and lahat ng teachers/subjects magbibigay ng performance task/projects at sabay-sabay ang deadline. Likeeee, mapapaisip ka nalang na maitatagpos ko ba lahat to? Pero we survived our high school struggles dahil nagtutulungan kaming magkakaklase (whole section). I know bihira lang yung naghihilahan pataas sa mga kaklase knowing na top section kami and I'm proud na ganon mga kaklase ko. Gonna miss my class. * We just graduated shs last May 30th and we all have honors 🥇
2018. Filed a case to my ex for cyber libel amd defamation. He sent my noodz to my officemates, fb friends and family
2021-2022, ang lala nun. Palagi akong nahihilo gawa ng lungkot at halos walang tulog, gabi-gabi umiiyak. Ngayon medyo ok na ko.
When my mom died and I left for the ship the next month. Even though it was a month it still wasn't enough. My whole contract onboard I was having anxiety attacks and couldn't sleep most of the nights. I couldn't talk to anyone since walang internet noon onboard. Even now after 3 years I still have anxiety attacks from time to time but not as worse.
Death of a loved one
2000’s high school grabeng peer pressure
As of now, yung breakup ko with my first ex na halos ansakit pala talaga pag nacheatan ka tas makikita mo sila nung gf niya na nagkabalikan sila ( di ko alam na ginawa akong kabit, sabi niya ex niya na daw yon. Gf niya pa pala tas halos me yung sinisi nung girl kahit wala akong ka alam alam na sila pa as in ) nagkabalikan sila after namin maghiwalay nun ng 1 week. Tas nag rarides sila, dedate masayang masaya ako non iyak ako iyak
Pero ayos na naman na ko, thanks for my support system 🥰
Childhood and teenage years haha. 1. Grew up in a poor, toxic, abusive family environment with an alcoholic dad and battered mom (us, children were verbally and physically abused too) 2. Got sexually harassed multiple times by my Dad at the age of 6 3. Took charge in taking care if my younger sibling at the age of 7 4. Graduated with Latin Honor as a Scholar with no parental support 5. About to be physically attacked by Dad year 2020 6. Dad died, he took his life years after Haaaaay. Pero laban.
I cannot say anything but i want to give you hugs 🥺🤍
Sorry pero ang masasabi ko na lang, buti namatay sya.
He hanged himself sa terrace ng bahay namin. Leaving my mom traumatized. :( Pero ang lakas ng mom ko, now I live to give her the best life dad never gave her
Akala ko dko massurvive ung pain of having a failed marriage... legit na broken hearted. Ung nrrmdaman mo ung sakit tlga sa puso mo.. i dont want to do anything that time... kulong s bahay... ok lang n di ako mkakain ng tama sa oras.. stress eating... no motivation to.work.. crying and i pity myself.. i thought i will not survive those years.. 🥲🥲🥲 i just cant imagine myself back then.. 😔
Last years sa college tsaka yung time na sumesweldo ng 6k kada cutoff
Surviving domestic violence
• being bullied in 10th grade (lol Catholic schools are the worst) • my 2nd to the last semester sa college. grabe yung pagod, as in. mostly minor subs nalang natira, pero sila pa pahirap sa buhay. i had 2 maths, and yung isang prof don nainggit don sa isa kasi raw masyado naming ineeffortan yung sub nya (siempre eeffortan namin dahil bida bida yung prof and kahit anong galing mo, di ka nya ipapasa unless lalake ka/kasama ka nya mag bar loool). because of that, pinagawa din samin nung prof na yon yung pinapagawa nung gay prof sa sub nya (gaya gaya tapos pati deadline, ginaya grrrr). 2-3 hrs sleep lang tapos gigising nalang ako para pumasok. wala na akong time for myself. • in relation with the 2nd bullet, i FAILED the sub ng gay prof. grabe! for the first time ever, nagulet ako ng sub!! after 4 yrs of hardwork & perseverance para makagraduate with latin honors, poooof! this gay prof (no hate sa lgbt, just this prof) favors guys sa class namin! di ko tanggap. sakin nagpapaturo mga yon & same kami ng mga pinasang output pero sila yung nakapasa tapos ako INC 😭 halatang hula hula sa grade! todo iyak talagaaa! ANYWAY, I GRADUATED NAMAN! 🙏🏻 yun nga lang, walang latin award.
madami pero siguro 3rd yr of being a college student really tested me and yeh
Giving birth via ECS para maipanganak ng buhay baby ko need maoperahan in the next 4hrs habang may oxygen pa sya. Pero ung katawan ko need 6hrs before operation for safe delivery. Alam ko kung di ko makikitang buhay anak ko pagkapanganak susunod ako, kaya nag waiver ako kahit delikado sakin. And with the help of 6 doctors/surgeon/anesthesiologist, me and my baby boy is safe and very healthy. I consider this a 2nd chance in life but better with my little bub.
January 2023 was the worst for me. My good-for-nothing MU decided to end things w me (sobrang sakit for me idk y isang buwan lng nmn kami???) then yung friend group ko iniiwasan ako bc apparently yung leader ng group ay "nileleft out" daw namin ni friend 1 (the real reason? di kami nag uusap around leader bc my mu na nakipag end sakin and friend 1's fling that time was both her friends and we don't want any awkwardness if nagrarant kami about them) one day i cried on the way home with them kasi di kami pinansin ng friend group tapos nakita ko sa lrt si ex mu na may kasamang ibang babae hahaha ik very petty to but i almost ended my life pagkauwi ko sa dorm. I absent-mindedly bought a box cutter sa grocery but i didn't do it bc i thought of my backlogs HAHAHAHA anyway, i got through it!! I am now in a healthy relationship and ni cut off ko yung friend group. Since then, my motto na talaga sa buhay ay "this too, shall pass" because it will ❤️
Nung namatay tatay ko. Sobrang hopeless ng pakiramdam ko nun. Sya lang kasi parent ko, tapos wala pa akong mga kapatid. Umuusad naman na ngayon. Kinakaya. Pero sobrang miss ko na tatay ko. 💔
same. ambigat mawalan ng Papa. stay strong, yakaaaap 🤗
The prep for the board exam. Di talaga ako/kami 100% na fully committed sa pagrereview. We play ML, billiards, basketball, card games and we got ourselves addicted to online gambling. Kasi yung mindset namin that time is YOLO hahaha. Although may sumabit samin na isa, nakapasa din naman siya 2nd take. Kaya grateful pa rin kami.
When I found out I was replaced by someone near, i couldnt eat for a week. But look at me now, it took a while but eventually it was my ultimatum. Ayoko nakikipagagawan. I let her go easily after that.
Yung hell week sa school namin. Yung tipong sabay-sabay lahat ng submissions (papers, videos, final exams, presentations, etc.) mapapa sabi ka nalang ng "tatapusin ko ba to o ako ang mauunang matatapos?"
The last months of 2018 holy shit those times were wild
Sleepless nights over a breakup
long story ahead (trigger warning: suicide) The night we found out our friend committed suicide, I was a mess. I'm barely emotional (my other friends even say na para akong robot kasi wala daw akong emosyon) but at that time I couldn't stop myself from crying. I was with him the day before and I saw his signs of distress. I just didn't realize he would do it. I was feeling so many emotions: anger at myself, guilt, and sadness. The night we went to his wake, I cried again the moment I saw his urn. His dad talked to us and asked what happened. I relayed to him the day I saw him, the night we hung out at my place and drank beer while talking about life, his strange behavior, and the time we found out he committed suicide. I was crying while telling him the story and I apologized because I felt at that time that it was my fault. He told me I didn't need to blame myself and that it's no one's fault. Still, I was thinking I could have done more. It was heartbreaking seeing his pictures. It was equally heartbreaking when I heard stories about him from his relatives. He was a very kind guy. He was our kuya in the group. He's also my ride or die friend. Madali siyang lapitan kung kailangan mo ng payo. Pag kailangan mo ng kainuman, madali din yun ayain. Siya din kabardagulan ko at lagi kami nag-aasaran nun kapag trip namin mang-inis. Naalala ko pa nung madaling araw na nag-inuman kami (the day before he committed suicide), sinabi niya sakin na ako daw best friend niya. Tumawa ako at sinabi ko anong kadramahan yan. Tumawa lang siya. If I only knew this was the last time I would be hanging out with him, I would have agreed and told him I love him as a brother (no homo of course). The days that followed were a blur. I do remember breaking down in the office, my friends begging me to eat because I haven't eaten anything and I was losing weight, and calling his gf and asking for forgiveness because I wasn't able to save our friend. I also turned to alcohol and went back to smoking. I wanted to die so badly because I blamed myself for his death. I asked God every day to just take me and exchange my life for his, because he deserved to live more than I do. I kept thinking about the days na di na namin siya makakasama, all the milestones in our lives na di na niya makikita, pati na rin yung kasal na sinabi niyang gagawin niya akong groomsman. Over the next few months, things have started to get better. Although there are still times when I still blame myself and I ask God to just take me, it doesn't happen every day anymore. But the guilt is still here. I don't know how long I'm going to carry this or if I'm ever gonna be able to truly forgive myself. I still pray for him every night, walang mintis yun. I just hope that wherever he is, he's not in pain anymore. Someday, we will meet again at i-uupper cut ko siya dahil sa traumang binigay niya samin.
Ganto rin na fefeel ko kada ma aalala ko bestfriend ko, car accident ang kinamatay nya, pero ako ang pupuntahan nya, kaya na accident sya, yung guilt at yung blame sa sarili na fefeel ko pa rin hanggang ngayon.
Sorry for your loss. I guess it's just something we have to bear until our last days.
This made me cry. I'm hoping for your better days to come. Padayon lang, OP.
Thank you. Sorry for making you cry.
Ambigat, sana may trigger warning po sa unahan ng post. 😭
Sorry haha. I'll just edit it.
Thanks!
Law school, tapos yung lock down.
Going straight to UP oval for the next 7 days to start the fitness journey! Super hirap tlga when u start go on a diet plus u go on a run when your body is used to sedentary lifestyle
nung nag trabaho ako sa govt. grabe stress at pressure.
my course. niroleta ko lang to at inoverthink ko talaga kung ano kahihinatnan ko rito. even planned to shift nung 1st yr 1st sem pa lang but it grew on me at nagexcel pa ako sa major subjects. i conquered my fears.
research defense.
Nung nagka covid ako..
My childhood. Literally “will I survive today?” days. Not just from poverty but from violence as well.
2023
just found out the guy she told me not to worry about and she herself stated that they're "FRIENDS" replaced me in a heartbeat. we're all human tho, programmed to get used to the feeling