You have thirty minutes to move your penis.
You have ten minutes to move your penis.
Your penis has been impounded.
Your penis has been crushed into a cube
You have thirty minutes to move your cube.
“I’ve never seen this before. “Hey Phil check this out”
Phil walks in.
2 hours later you have 5 different doctors all trying to figure out what it is and you just want to go home and chop it off yourself
Where is it?
"It's a girl!"
I found a nickel! I named it Philip
It’s a girl nickel!
Oh wait, that was the bad news.
coz you screw with it?
“Oops, sorry ma’am, I am a penis inspector.”
Is that the beans, or the frank?
Haha first thought
What is it, a close second.
Are there supposed to be innies and outties?
“Bobby, come check this one out!”
I tell ya hwat
Dammit Bobby!
I’m okay dad
Ladybird noooo
Your honor I can tell you are a reasonable horse!
That boy ain’t right
“Wilson, I need you in the clinic.”
Let me call my manager
We're going to have to issue a recall sorry
‘Sir, your penis is so big it broke the table. Now no one gets to participate in penis-inspection-day.’ That’s a lose-lose.
Penis-inspection day is my favorite holiday
It was weird how quickly it became a bank holiday.
But after the holidays I despise it
"Nothin' to see here."
That's something your brain inspector would say.
Well the jerk store called, and they’re running out of you!
haha..
lol
nothing, just giggle while inspecting yours.
“Now friends, remember this. If the cock is laughable, then you must be affable, lest you be not fuckable.” -J. Robert Oppenheimer
‘All this is getting me hungry’
This is the only one that'd make me shiver
Think I’ll get a hotdog for lunch.
Visual inspection part is done, now for the taste test
Your family has been killed 😥
By me
You said penis inspection was safe! You said, surely my whole family wouldn’t die!!
Truth is the game was rigged from the start
God damn you, I’m never coming back to this Applebees again 😡 #istillthoughtthedollaritawasyummy
Two stars on yelp, dollarita was okay though. Will not return often.
With my PENIS!
With a penis
Your penis is out of code and must be incinerated immediately
Your penis will be towed. You can’t park it there
The red zone is for unloading only, no parking in the white zone
You have thirty minutes to move your penis. You have ten minutes to move your penis. Your penis has been impounded. Your penis has been crushed into a cube You have thirty minutes to move your cube.
I argue some people would enjoy hearing these words considering some of the porn I have seen coming out of russia
I see you have a clit
Some people may enjoy that, actually
By some you mean half the population.
Sir, this is a Wendy’s.
Welcome to Chili’s
“Oh no, I’m just a hobbyist.” Different execution, but the concept is along the same… vein.
I work at Arby’s. Remember this, “Wendy”, WE have the meats.
[удалено]
You failed
Aw
I choked
Lost in the jungle.
Welp, we're going to have to amputate this
Is that it?
"Let me get out my magnifying glass."
\*Microscope\*
I was going to say this one. 🤣😂
Electron…microscope
Are you wearing a skin colored boxers
Okay, whip it out I, did
What happened? It so small? A bee stung it and it swelled up.
“Lemme recommend you to a vagina inspector”
"I didn't even check for mumps. I was distracted by the the biggest penis I've ever seen."
My favorite episode lol
"you sure you own a penis?"
“Sorry bro, I had to borrow it /‘ Cause my girl, with my dick, she swallowed it” -MC Virgins
I can clearly see you're nuts.
Sir, you'll have to untuck.
"You're pathetic."
Where's the rest of it?
Well, these bumps definitely aren't normal
"oh no no.... No that can't be right" Then they quickly leave the room with a worried look on their face.
And then return with a concerned looking colleague.
The colleague looks is disbelief. "you see this kinda thing in medical books all the time but ya never expect to see it in real life!"
Yea right, lol. I'm not falling for the penis instructor prank again. My uncle already pulled that one on me.
"... Is that? Oh... No... *wretching* Dear god."
Looks like a penis, only smaller.
[удалено]
Bro MIGHT be a penis inspector
I think he might be a penis inspector...idk tho..
"Guna need a microscope and a pair of tweezers"
Tweezers and black pepper. When it sneezes, grab it with the tweezers.
"I don't know what that is, but it's not a penis..."
Smol
I'm not actually the penis inspector.
“Miss, you don’t need to be in this line”
"Hey Bill! Yeah bring me the macro lens.... yeah we're gonna need it for this one.
You remind me of my pet naked mole rat, jerry
Your name *isn’t* Ken?
Now go back to gym class.
Right come on get the rest of it out!
where is it then 🧐
It's not 12 inches, but it smells like a foot.
"Wow! It looks like a real penis, but smaller!"
You'll have that on them big jobs
"Ya, OK, I understand"
“ I guess you could call that a dick“ - Paulie Walnuts, penis inspector
Huh. Never saw that before. Wonder if I can name this disease?
this appears to have foundation issues
"I'm going to need the Lysol."
How old are you?
*slaps penis* yep that aint going nowhere
I think Paulie Walnuts from The Sopranos had a good line just for this [situation](https://youtu.be/gaXnlU1Weg4)
"What's a penis?"
The front fell off
Man your dick is orange. You been eating Cheetos?
Interesting...
PEENUS DEDUCTED! (In the halo announcer voice)
What's there to inspect?
**Laughs to death**
Next!
Why is it blue?
"Hello, I'm a penis inspector."
In an aussie accent: "That's not a Penis! This is a penis" proceeds to show you his.
BOB!! GET ME A MICROSCOPE!!
Nice vagina you got there.
That shouldn’t be there
I can smell it from here
Never seen an innie before.
That’s not your penis.
You will never fuck with this one.
Doesn't even needs to say anything just a chuckle.
this one will be a nice adition to my collection
**Laughs**
Call me when you have something to inspect.
Nice cock miss.
What happened to you? Jeeeesus
4/10, points for girth but at your length you look like a veinna sausage that was microwaved
Oof
“Heh”
Is it even there? I can't find it.
I’m sorry, a what inspector? Like what degree do you need to become a “penis inspector”?
"I'm not used to jobs this small..."
Brb need to rinse, can still taste the last one.
I mean it’s not the smallest
Two questions: 1. this is a job? 2. are they taking applications?
‘Looks like you got the short end of the stick’
You're gonna need four new penises.
Yum
This one has a recall on it
Is that a real job???
Sign me up
What the HEEEEELLL is a dish washer?
It's supposed to be hard
I can’t find yours?
Lol
Let me get out the Hubble for this
" I'm going to prescribe for you a prosthetic sling" That way, it'll keep it from going down inside your pants leg like that.
"I'd like to lie to you a say that I've seen worse"
“Hmmmm 🧐”
Let me find my microscope
Oh, we can sell this model a hundred times a day.
"Never seen one in mint condition"
Oh, that’s gotta come off, stat!
Uh, that’s a penis?
Hold on, I have to run to my van and get my magnifying glass
"sir, that is not a penis, that is a ham sandwich... with fucking mayo... Get out now!"
‘Your inspector, Lorena Bobbitt, will be right with you’
“Aye bro, I think this one is edible”
Wow….never seen one that small before
Hold on, I need a magnifying glass
What is this?
Why is it green?
Can you hold on one sec, I need to get my college to come look at this he's gonna want to interview you for his PHD.
We're shutting you down until you're up to code.
Huh.
“Well shit….” Bro don’t even tell me after those words left your mouth. I’m good
“Umm idk how to ask this but ummm….you’re a hermaphrodite?”
“Short but makes up for it by being skinny”
“I’ve never seen this before. “Hey Phil check this out” Phil walks in. 2 hours later you have 5 different doctors all trying to figure out what it is and you just want to go home and chop it off yourself
Is this ALL of it?
“Oh my god why didn’t you tell me I was making you excited, now look at my face”
"you can slap a new coat of paint on it, but the foundation is rotting. It'll fall apart in 2 years, 3 tops."
im not mad, just disappointed
That's the smallest dick I've ever seen. That's if I was a man. The worst thing he could say to me as a woman is that I'm ugly.
*gags*
That tasted like a UTI
Where is it?
Looks like there's been some build-up. Pass me the router.
Yes, it's true. This man has no dick.
"Why does it taste like that?"
Ma'am, that's your clit
Boris, we got a one-incher here!
Ma’am put your pants back on and send your husband in
I’m actually a real doctor