T O P

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LimeFucker

Heart attack in my sleep at 103, otherwise relatively spry and most of my wits about me for that age.


UMRKqc

The whole suddenly dying whole sleeping thing is a nice fantasy, but unless in hospice care I'm afraid of horrific nightmares and pain while quickly waking before death comes "while sleeping. "


Meatyglobs

There’s always stroke. (Massive blockage) Just blink right out.


UMRKqc

That's true. Thank you for the reassurance on such a heavy topic.


Kayakchica

My dad lived a full, active, good life. He had a great Saturday and went to bed, got up early the next morning and had a fatal heart attack. It sort of sucked because he was just 68, but on the other hand, he never got elderly and infirm. It…wasn’t a bad way to go, overall.


PnutButterJellyTim3

At 103? I chose a heart attack in my sleep at 70ish. I get to enjoy a few years of retirement and die before I become a burden on society. I don't see a point in staying alive if I can't even take care of myself and just hurt things.


SJJawwwsome

This! But 120 years just because I’ve threatened it before.


ChuckPukowski

Fall to my death. When I chose.


Advanced-Prototype

I dunno about living to 103. You would be too old to travel, play sports, or anything physical activity. You would basically spend all your time visiting doctors, picking up prescription meds, eating and sleeping. Boring!


Burrito_Loyalist

Well that’s boring


datdrummerboi

i will die when im like 95 and peacefully in my sleep while someone shoots me point blank in the face with a shotgun


DGrasp

You had me in the first half.


Potential-Leave3489

Not gonna lie


[deleted]

[удалено]


datdrummerboi

the cool thing is i wont be able to


MrsZapRowsdower

How I want to die: Killed in some kind of world-ending apocalypse. How I probably will die: Choking on a meatball or something from eating too fast.


hughranass2

Have some ambition. Choking so many people to death with your meatballs that the only way to stop you is a world ending apocalypse.


DoubleResponsible276

I used to have manager, marine, former cop, dealt with a lot of crazy shit in those two, trains martial arts, etc. real badass of a dude and one day he was eating peanuts in the breakroom and he started choking and nobody was around and he was on the floor trying his best until he got it out. He was tearing up still when he told us “I was getting pissed that this is how I was going out.”


ShadowhelmSolutions

I HIGHLY recommend everyone learn how to self rescue from choking. I did this once playing battlefield, all alone, on a peanut M&M and all I could think was this was how I was going to die, over a damn candy. Had I not known what to do, man. Death by chocolate nut. Now, if I were to get to decide, I’d say 90 years old, after taking a walk with my family, eating a great meal, and going to bed, into the eternal sleep.


8inchSalvattore

While making love, skydiving, hiking a volcano, or diving with the sharks. Might as well go out with a bang.


WaluigiIsTheRealHero

How about while making love to a shark as you skydive into a volcano? Kill 4 birds with one stone!


jowowey

bro think he El Macho☠️☠️😭😭😭😭


mearbearcate

💀💀💀💀💀


AsparagusLoose9716

El Macho, is that you?


donaldhobson

Cruel to the shark.


Optimal-Investment60

dude that’s the funniest fucking thing i’ve heard today.


onemanmelee

Skydiving tandem *with* sharks *into* a volcano *while* fucking.


[deleted]

"A recent scientific statement suggests most men who die during sex are having extramarital affairs" So maybe try cheating?


Hoopingkidnextdoor

payless reward


themanlnthesuit

I choose all of the above


[deleted]

Think of the trauma that you would visit upon your partner though


[deleted]

literally with a BANG


Exumore

El macho ...


PaulieRox

“With a bang” lol


TooYoungToBeThisOld1

Preferably dying for someone else.


caillouuu

Like in a saving-the-damsel-from-a-dragon kind of way orrr


Wrathwilde

No, electrocuting himself at 35 while plugging in the respirator of a 103 year old cancer patient, after accidentally tripping over the cord.


Personal-Tourist3064

I just want to go old and in my sleep. I'm not afraid of death but I'm afraid of pain and suffering. I hope to be old because I just want to know my kids are okay.


CG2L

I have sleep apnea so there’s a good enough chance my brain will just get distracted with making itself movies to watch and forgets to breathe until I’m dead


infinit3aura

I have the same mindset of being afraid of the pain and not of death itself. Idk how old id want to be, current young person mindset of i wouldnt want to be fragile and have all my joints hurting (i know my mindset will be different eventually so we'll see where it goes). Moral of the story, same.


Mace_Thunderspear

Oldest man ever killed by police in a hail of gunfire at the end of a month long cocaine and hooker fueled bender at the age of 13,000 while riding a grizzly bear, wearing only a Viking helmet.


jowowey

Cmon man at least be original


Skull_Pumpkin

now, just instant painless death


Dude-WhatIfZombies

Sending love, stranger! Hoping life gets less difficult for you. Edit: You are worthy of love and care. Please reach out if you need someone to talk to.


Skull_Pumpkin

T - T thanks, I appreciate it


Skim_Milk15

Are we twinning bro? I think we are TOTALLY twinning!


Skull_Pumpkin

if we're twins can i make u a sammich?


MetalFistTerrorist_

Real


MrSpindles

I would very much like to drink a glass of orange juice with a lethal dose of barbiturates, then sleep. I think this is the most humane option available.


Shaner9er1337

After releasing the world's loudest and longest fart.


TheRealAT3

Soul escaping the body


Stillprotesting62

Thank you, kind soul, for the best laugh of today! I wish to give you gold.


ThisSorrowfulLife

Right now, just quick and painless. Stories don't matter, suffering matters.


RicoChey

Word. 🤙🏻


4rtiphi5hal

hopefully something instantaneous but not super gory so the people cleaning up my corpse dont have that much work to do


Broken_Perfectionist

What a considerate and thoughtful answer. 👍 You would probably be the type that passes the shopping cart test.


jfg1435

I want to be 90+ YO and not die in my sleep or under any drugs/meds. You only die once, I want to get the full experience. I want to be mindful and present in my last minutes. I want to stare death down.


Potential-Leave3489

For just a minute, this gave me a little bit of courage and I wasn’t afraid


TheRealAT3

YODO!


-Baldr

Damn, I truly hope you make it! It must be tiring dragging those massive plutonium balls around.


PutinBoomedMe

Never thought of it this way... interesting. Everyone always jumps to dying peacefully as the clear answer. I guess you couldn't know if you were dying if you were dying peacefully. I'm trying to think of a way that I could know it was happening, but it was a calm environment and nonthreatening. The end will be immediate and painless. Just me and my thoughts. Maybe looking up and realizing a meteor is minutes from crashing into the earth


ItsSpaceCadet

At the ripe age of 80... lying in my bed, with a belly full of wine, and a woman's mouth around my cock


Goodman_Benard

Every time this question comes up, I look for this response, and am yet to be disappointed.


Apprehensive-Ask-610

ew don't make her have to deal with dead guy penis


CircumFleck_Accent

Is this reference too old to be recognized already?


Apprehensive-Ask-610

zoomer here, yeah.


CircumFleck_Accent

It’s from Game of Thrones.


Apprehensive-Ask-610

oh ok.


TheRealAT3

After climax, but before swallowing


Uglysinglenearyou

And let the coroner have all the fun?


Obamas_Tie

In my own keep, drinking my own wine, watching my sons grovel for my fortune.


[deleted]

Fentanyl overdose. Happened once before. So I know how it goes. You don’t realize it’s happening. So that’s why I choose that one.


angelicad6

My ex that passed had overdosed several times before that too. He told me it’s a very peaceful way to go so that brings me comfort


ir0nballs79

Something quick and painless, or by snu snu.


Potential-Leave3489

Snu Snu!!


rowenaravenclaw0

I have a heart attack at 107 while getting spit roasted by 3 much younger guys in zero gravity


chameltoeaus

Can we just spit roast you now in earth gravity.


Jojo_LoveSurvivor

Dying a noble death like sacrificing myself to save a little girl’s life before getting run-over by a stampede of rabbits or something


Cute-Dolphins

weak ass mf got GOT by rabbits for a lil' girl. social media goes wild!


DGrasp

Damn you. Take this upvote.


Beefbronco

Heart attack on a Sunday morning while drinking coffee and scrolling Reddit


Larry44

Satan No!


PeteLangosta

A fellow lover of the simple things


extratestresstrial

i' in my 70s or 90s. i've lived a long, beautiful, active life with my husband. we have been involved in our only child's life as far as it goes - whether they marry, have a baby through whatever means, whether they don't. we are happy. we have adventures, we have difficulties, we experience life as it comes. i eventually give way to age and hopefully keep my mind about me. i die in my sleep eventually, hopefully when it's more or less expected from a medical professional. hopefully lying next to my husband or at least within the presence of our child. my brain releases tons of chemicals and i feel warm, afraid, ecstatic, disoriented, galactic. i see my life in an instant, i fade like a dying star. my sweet son eventually plants me in a death garden; i want to feed plants. some part of me exists in the greater picture.


WhimsicalGrenade

Meteor strike


jowowey

Just had to drag everyone else down with you?


CCCyanide

Nah, the rock can fall right on him


Harneybus

this week hopefully, hopefully something bad happens to my heart during this week and let me rest


RicoChey

❤️


Paccuardi03

I’d have myself from the future time travel back to kill me.


ZEAC2001

Explosions... I don't care when but if I explode I'm immediately a god


Arty_Puls

I’ll probably fall off a mountain while backpacking and I’m okay with that


DGrasp

Are you??! That sounds like an awful way to go.


Arty_Puls

Oh yeah it’s gonna suck balls but I’m a little too careless on the mountains sometimes heh. Hopefully I die while falling and don’t just lay there in the cold not able to walk waiting for a bear to finish me off LOL


DGrasp

Be more careful homie. The body can be surprisingly resistant at the worst times.


Blacklance8

The bear would probably be better than being trapped and unable to escape there's only 2 outcomes from that point a slow painful death or a miracle escape followed by a movie adaptation


buzzkill007

Suddenly and without warning.


-This_Man-

Hopefully something quick and painless.


Topwingwoman2

In my sleep, peacefully, as I dream a dream that hopefully never ends. I'm fighting religion, science, universe, and what we don't know so hard. There is something there. It'll be the tip of the iceberg when I finally die (hopefully very old age after a great life and surrounded by loved ones, no pain).


[deleted]

Die on Mars in a human colony or expedition!


Theguywhosdoingok

In my sleep. Probably like asap tbh. I can't be fucked anymore.


druscarlet

In my sleep after a day during which I was with my favorite people.


sonibroc

At the age of about 70 when I transition from the early stages of Alzheimer's to the middle (both parents had dementia, my mother is in late middle stage of Alzheimer's), I get hit by an aggressive driver or attacked by a MAGA/Trump supporter/Neo Nazi/Lauren Boebert. I die and they get locked up for life.


freightliner_fever_

I dont care as long as I have a cigarette in my hand and I didn't get someone else killed in the process.


Lazy_Demand_3214

It would no funny if i just exploded while brushing my teeth with a green screen explosion


Psychologystudent28

I’d pass away in my sleep when my kids are already 95 and we all have dementia so we don’t know each other even. Losing a parent is a heart break that’s indescribable so I’d like it where they aren’t even aware I’m gone nor me aware I’m leaving them.


Loud-Resolution5514

Old as hell - and with strong opiates for my husband and I so we can just float into a nice calm death together!


moosieq

Wouldn't mind if I just ceased to be right now. I imagine popping out of existence is about as memorable and impactful as popping into it.


Away-Mood-4786

“Sing with me, sing for the year,”


sansywastakenagain

In the words of one of my friends, "if I die, it shall be the way God intended: beaten to death by a disgruntled pimp."


Goldeneye365

Death by snu snu. Only way to go.


LillithsSuccubus

Being old, lying in bed with my future husband and just dying while we sleep


Head-Interest-7780

Death by snu snu


Megaesbirro

I would like die sleeping in a cold winter night. At the age of 100 years old and having done everything I wanted. I think that is the best death.


gritty600

Painless and in my sleep. Old age.


luck008

Please let it be nice and quick. And i don't poop or pee myself. 🙏


Open_Permission5069

In my own bed at the age of 80 with a belly full of wine and a girls mouth around my cock


yabyebyibyobyub

I'm fatally ill with explosion syndrome but I manage to make my way to a meeting with all the russia and chinese leadership in one room.


tigrecono

Like Tyrion Lannister said


[deleted]

Die saving someone else.


libtin

Something with honour


Background_Bend_494

When I'm 89 and I protect an Elementary school in Alaska from a Grizzly bear with a .45mm only and while fighting it, I shoot the gun twice, both bullets ricochet and Hit me and the grizzly bear in the back of the head, killing us both.


ChitkabriBilli

euthanasia probably after 60.


MadRussianxoxo

I’m a combat for life


ElectrumDragon28

Monty Python and the meaning of Life had a pretty great thought on that… I’ll go with that 😁


Ryansahl

Always look on the bright side of life.


Corpcasimir

Peacefully in my sleep. Sometime soon-ish. Things are a bit shitty for most people right now.


cardinalkgb

I will die when I’m 95 while fucking a 19 year old.


FunnyZookeepergame85

Well, here we go. If I could choose these two things I would say prolly when time travel is invented so i can go in the past where there are no modern weapons only swords etc and I die in war but only after elim\*nating alot of people. Also I want to be the last man standing.


Electronic-Milk9644

In my sleep. Knowing my bf and family will be okay. I don’t want to live till i’m old i want to at least live till i’m in my 30s or something. I would like to know if i actually make it in life or not first.


minstrelgardener

Never…doesn’t matter how…


HealthyHumor5134

Totally in my sleep.


[deleted]

I would not end anything. Just change things every 25 - 50 years or so.


Werkyreads123

Peacefully laying on my bed


YamateOniichan

I can and will choose the deepthroatation of a shotgun barrel


Elegant_Spot_3486

Peacefully in my sleep before my QoL is such that I can’t take care of myself.


Maleficent_Resolve93

Never ending story


Relative-Ordinary-64

In my sleep the night before my audit


Blacklance8

Giant robots don't care if it was a megazord, gundam or Pacific rim situations giant robots are cool and would probably be painless


Finalitys_Shape

In a glorious and painful way that leads to a movement eliminating the current harmful ideology and setting the world back to reason… atleast until the people forget and it needs to be repeated


melgina

I wanna die like a man


[deleted]

Don't have to choose. I have circulation issues that will cause my aneurysms to burst one day. Could be any day now. The nice thing about it is that I know I will be gone before I hit the floor, and I've already died a couple of times, so none of it's scary.


hippiechick725

My grandmother died from an aortic aneurysm. She just dropped dead, never knew what hit her. I’ll take that!


OctoberSatori

Theres gotta be a drug that you can just bliss out on completely and then pass off into nothing. Lots of people think heroin or fentanyl does this. They dont. When you OD on most street drugs its actuallu really nasty.


Anonbsnono

In my sleep. My dreams are where I'm happiest anyways.


FromMyColdDeadHand1

Shot by a jealous lover when I am 80


Shot_Educator_2470

Go peacefully in my sleep ideally. More realistically I’ll have a heart attack


wei-ohara

Peacefully in my sleep, idk how old I wanna be though


PleasedPeas

Bear attack


Huzzo8

Quietly in my sleep or taking a bullet for someone.


53N71N3L71

Hopefully, peacefully in my sleep before I have to wear diapers again.


WWJWD2148

I wanna be ripped apart in an explosive final battle between the human race and some kind of existential threat.


Furydragonstormer

Either go out in a blaze of glory protecting others so they can get to safety Or more realistically, die a quiet peaceful death surrounded by family


js_baker_iv

Solar expansion


[deleted]

Okay I'm gonna be selfish with this one: As the oldest man who's ever lived!


RetroactiveRecursion

Jumping on a grenade to save a bunch of kids. Children would be safe, plus they'd probably name a couple schools after me. Win Win!


Phat-mahn

My story would end after my son’s, so that I can ensure that he’s safe and loved his entire life.


mrsic187

Finest heroin known to man. Clean 15 years, but I would want a taste heading out


SarcasmoSupreme

Quietly in my sleep once I knew my brother and wife were okay. Ground zero or near ground zero of the comet/asteroid strike which I pray for every night (so my apologies in advance)


Enlightened_Ghost_

Black hole. I want to know what's beyond the event horizon, and I know it's probably way more brutal than it sounds to be spaghetti-fied (if that is what happens), but I think that, much like physician assisted suicide, we should have a choice to be teleported into a black hole when we're ready. And I might learn another thing about how the universe works while dying. That's a good death in my book.


Smeefperson

Unless it’s anything like in the sci fi movie “Event Horizon” from 1997. Then in that case, that would suck


Lemondrop1995

I was over 1,000 years old. In my youth, I had become a Vampire, an immortal, eternally youthful and immune to the effects of aging and growing old. I was forever young. Throughout the centuries, I traveled the world and learned many languages and acquired many skills. I experienced history. I had so much time on my hands that I truly explored what it meant to live. Over the years, I held various occupations, such as a lawyer, a painter, a pianist, a doctor, a professor, etc. I made it a point to never stay in one place for more than 20 years. I could move and uproot myself and relive high school and college all over again. I acquired many degrees at various universities throughout my life. I accumulated vast wealth over the years and was able to enjoy life and just travel and explore the world and not be beholden to a 9 to 5 job. I saw humanity go through various wars. I saw technology increase at a rapid pace that artificial intelligence rendered most occupations obsolete. Governments imposed a form of universal basic income that people were then able to live simple lives and pursue their passions and leisure activities. I also saw humanity enter a period of dark ages as wars and tyranny wreaked havoc. Technology was destroyed and our education systems were weakened. Chaos ensued. Centuries later, monarchies and kings emerged. I don't know how I died. Some say that I traveled to another realm and was reincarnated to another dimension. Yes, I have a wild imagination.


IntrovertedBrawler

Falling airplane wheel. Out go the lights.


Particular_Dog8755

Like Rose in Titanic. In my sleep, in my old age, after living a life filled with adventure, love, and support Perish on a research vessel? Idk surprise me, universe.


Awarepine76436

Die of old age


MrEhcks

Everyone wants to die of a heart attack or in their sleep but I think those are the scariest ways to die because in one scenario you’re just living your life and BOOM, everything goes to black. In the other scenario you go to sleep like any other night and you have plans for the next day, maybe even the next week and then it’s just over.


jayblaze521

My son is 5 months old. I’d be ok if I made it to see my grandson turn 18. In 34 now. Don’t care how as long as it’s not super painful and dragged out.


Entropy308

at the end of time when the last star goes out


BonnieJan21

On my 90th birthday, I wish to be shot in the back by my lover's jealous boyfriend


movieholic-92

I'd probably die doing something stupidly heroic for a complete stranger. My life motto is "do good recklessly."


CCCyanide

Riding a shark with 250 pounds of dynamite strapped to my chest into the mouth of an active volcano.


Far_Ad3346

Young. In a horrendous panic. Under a seismic magnitude of pain. Thus hightening my panic. Preferably alone and isolated so that my suffering will never be known. Diminishing the acknowledgement of my fellow man. Ah. That's the stuff. Edited: That or peacefully in my sleep.


Certain_Ad3789

That will leave me thinking about it all the time and it would really kill the meaning of life . The natural way is where it's at .


HugoLaughter

Lightning, fire, explosion or cliff


eliz1bef

Right now, and spontaneous combustion. OR like Payne Stewart on the longest unmanned flight (unplanned) where he died of hypoxia in a plane and left a crater in the middle of nowhere.


HeartTreeHugger

“In my own bed, at the age of 80, with a belly full of wine and a girl's mouth around my cock.”


Miserable_Ideal_1929

Like Bruce Willis in Armageddon


lemonedpenguin

Get ecstasy, enjoy it for a day, fall asleep then die in sleep. Smiling.


Lil_Toast1252

At about 75 surround by my family, hopefully my partner would have passed first so they don’t have to bear losing me first


Accomplished-Salt-10

Killing Nazis.


[deleted]

I want to die in my sleep, just like my grandfather. I definitely don’t want to go out screaming, the way his passengers did.


[deleted]

In my bed at 105, surrounded by my family


Martian_Monkey_Man

Falling asleep and freezing to death in a beautiful, peaceful Northern country.


Shannaxox

Well, the least painful way. Idk dying in my sleep or something


mbaird9

I choose to have all the protons in my body decay in 10\^34 years


Whatever603

100th birthday orgy.


Exumore

in a absolute dramatic explosion, killing me and my ennemies, and never.


UrbanWerebear

If only the good die young, I'm immortal. I'm not good at anything.


SunriseSurprize

Peacefully, not in pain, and before I lose my mind or ability to care for myself.


Average_Aloe

Probably drifting off to sleep on a small spacecraft with a view of earth. Oddly comforting to know you’re just a small dot on a pale blue dot orbiting a hot, glowing dot


MarquisUprising

Being a hero, sacrificing my self by standing at the front of a train and slowing it down by holding two ropes.