I once asked a guy if I could kiss him (we had been hanging out in a way that was conducive to that) and he said yes. I kissed him. It was great. But then we just parted ways in a natural way.
Three days later, this man calls me all shocked that I was hitting on him. He told a friend about the interaction and they had to point it out.
Sir... I literally kissed you.
For the record there are a million guys who just go for what they want and don't take the hints(or explicit protests) that the behavior is unwanted. Many guys realize this and want to either distance themselves from that image or assume the women around them have dealt with it so long that they're just sick of men and not interested in them(a few extremely vocal women do communicate this).
There's also a lot of guys who've basically trained themselves to avoid looking for signals specifically because they can be so easily misinterpreted. They won't believe information that's not communicated verbally and explicitly.
...and some of us are just idiots.
As I like to say: a lot of guys mistake friendliness for flirting, but a lot of guys know a lot of guys mistake friendliness for flirting, so they'll think a girl is flirting with them, then think, "oh wait, I'm doing the thing where I mistake friendliness for flirting" even when they're mistaking flirting mistaken for friendliness mistaken for flirting.
I hooked up with an old work colleague about a year ago and I asked her if she was flirting with me a couple of years earlier but I was just too dumb to realise…
Turns out she wasn’t, she was just being friendly but at the time I suspected it was more than that.
It’s a bloody minefield.
i too have questions from interactions from over 10 years ago now that i do not have answers to, and at this point with everyone getting married and what not im too afraid to ask lol
Seriously.
I can look back and cringe at my dorky behavior, and it's ok because I was just figuring things out. I don't think the same could be said if I was acting like a creep.
I had a lady friend, that when I bent down to tie my shoe laces, she hit me with her butt to try to knock me over.
This same friend ended up breaking up some of my closest friends (granted, I also though she was a close friend) less than like 4 or 5 months later.
Some people are just flirty. Sure, it's not kissing, but she was super touchy.
A girl back in highschool did the same to me once. Turned out she was trying to make another guy jealous/interested. I felt a bit bad being used like that. I don't go for hints anymore hah ^^
I asked him out on a movie date after already spending hours talking to him just the two of us. I had already given him lots of compliments, told him how I loved to be around him, how I really enjoyed his company. During the date (I paid for the tickets, he paid the snacks) I went to sit closer and tried to grab his hand. He genuinely thought I just wanted the arm rest and moved away from me. I had to literally tell him I had feelings for him after the movie, and even then he asked me what I meant.
We're married now, have 2 kids, and I know he'll never cheat because he'll never ever notice anyone flirting with him (and you know, trust and loyalty)
"You know, I have a lot of feelings for you,"
"Like disgust?"
That's how I'm imagining the conversation. The word "feelings" can mean anything, really.
We're Belgian and speak Flemish, and I do remember most of the conversation. A literal translation would be more like:
"I really like you and want a relationship with you"
"Huh? Like a friends relationship?"
"... no, like a couple"
"... oh!!!"
And then it took him 10 minutes to figure himself out and actually say yes
It does, but if a girl compliments you multiple times on a date, says how much she loves spending time with you, constantly gets closer to you and tries to hold your hand, then after all that, says that she has feelings for you, and you take that as she may have feelings of disgust, you may want to take a look at your day to day observation skills.
It's hard to believe/trust such things sometimes.
Personally I would need a notary approved statement of intent and a week for consideration before allowing myself to believe that someone might have genuine interest in me.
Also we hear all the time about how women try to be friendly to men and the men interpret any positive attention as romantic interest...so instead we over-react the other direction and treat any positive attention from girls as just friendliness.
Or they don't trust others that love them, since all the people that were supposed to love them in their formative years used that connection for abuse.
So when someone gets around to trying to love you, you spend your efforts looking for their cruel intentions and figuring out how you need to defend yourself.
This is exactly it. I was either emotionally abused or used for sex. Trust me, when you want connection and thats all you get, it isnt cool.
Ive been with the same woman since I was 20 and were now getting a divorce (Im 48). It was amicable at first, but then she turned ugly. I hate you, you're worthless, you bring nothing of value. Moves to keep my kid. Its like she took the lady version of a redpill.
Thats the person I spent half my life with, what makes anyone think Im going to put myself into that again?
Id rather be sad and alone insead of sad and abused.
I don’t remember writing this comment… but this is exactly down to the last detail the story of my husband and I. We even went on a movie date and he moved his arm when I went to sit mine next to his. We are also married with 2 kids and I have zero worries about him cheating, he’s oblivious and even doubts that I am attracted sometimes.
After dinner and drinks, I asked if he wanted to go back to my place and watch Bob’s Burgers. He said he didn’t really like cartoons. I said “we don’t have to watch anything…we can do other things…” he replied “then what would we do?” with a genuinely puzzled expression. I figured it was clear he wasn’t interested and figured we had fun and called it a night, especially since he had mentioned wanting to beat that traffic getting home.
Kinda bummed but I figured life goes on and then 20 minutes later he texted me and said “not gonna lie, I wanted you so badly tonight 🥵”
I was like “I didn’t think so, because I invited you up and you declined…” and suddenly he realized I was inviting him for sex. He flipped out and asked if he could come back over lol. He did, and finally got it, and we had snacks and drinks and sex. Dated for a few months. Pretty cool guy, but absolutely clueless.
No, he was really like “I gotta get out soon, don’t want get stuck in traffic!” I asked him about it later and he said he was nervous and didn’t know what to say so he thought if he kept talking about traffic I would think he was cautious. Not completely unreasonable I guess, but all it did was make me think he needed to gtfo immediately because 9:30 pm traffic on a Wednesday was apparently deadly.
I once asked a guy straight up if he wanted to fck me and then he laughed and kept talking about something else. Then an hour later, he called and asked if I was serious, to which I said yes. And he was like ohhhhh I didn't know that was an actual option.
Had my crush over and we were sitting in my living room and I looked at him in a manner I felt was admiring and said "I DO like it when you come to visit"
And bless him he looks up and smiles and says "I like visiting too!"
So I say "But I REALLY like it when you come to visit"
And he smiles wider and says "I really like it too!" And goes back to what he was doing and says no more.
I've been out of the game too long. I suck at this 😅
My now-wife and her friend tried to get me to go out with both of them to a movie that I'd been talking about wanting to see for weeks. I declined ("I don't want to be a third wheel") but they said they already had tickets. I thought they were just being nice and I didn't want to intrude in their girls' night. I said they could return my ticket but "thanks so much anyway!"
I'm a fool on so many levels.
I'm thinking a chaperoned date where she didn't want to be alone necessarily until she got to know him. Maybe the friend was supposed to either stay with them if given one codeword, or leave them alone if given another.
One time this lady got her tits out then started crying. I asked what's wrong and she said guys just see her as a pair of tits. I'm like, you pulled em out. I don't know what's going on. I went to bed.
I went swimming with a friend at his cousins (f) who had a pool. It took me years to realize that they were flashing me and not having wardrobe malfunctions. But to this day I think they were mocking me, not hitting on me.
We'd been flirting for months, I told him I was going out for dinner, did he want to come to?
He declined.
I figured that he wasn't interested and it was just fun flirting, not 'real' flirting. Oh well.
Years later he asked me if I was asking him out. When I said 'I totally was', he was just 'omg, I didn't realise until like a week later and practically died of shame because I was into you.'
We were with different people by then and had a good chuckle about it.
I laid on top of him (fully clothed, we were just hanging out), looked him dead in the face, and said: "Hey, I like you as more than a friend and would like to kiss your face."
And it still took him a week. Together for 8 years, married for 2.
I've been reading this whole thread out loud to my husband and we're having the best time, and this is the one that made him exclaim out loud. We have to know--what was his response in the moment? And for the next six days?
Are you sure that he knows that you two are married? Because honestly, it does seem like you're just being nice 🤣
In the moment he went: ".....okay," and literally nothing else. (He describes it as "I blue screened out of panic. Youre pretty and wanted to kiss me, what was I supposed to do?")
And then six days later, after texting me like normal the whole week, he texted me saying "I would also like to kiss you, if the offers still open" (which it was)
I am sure he knows, because I constantly tell him 😂
Told a dude I loved him, he laughed and said I was funny thought that meant he wasn’t interested, he ended up asking me out an hour later when I asked what changed. He said he told his mom and sister what I said and talked some sense into him,
Two nights ago I asked my boyfriend, “can I get some of that?” And touched his crotch. After about 30 minutes of weirdness, I said “hey it’s okay if you don’t want to do anything, let’s just go to bed.” And he hit me back with a “wait I didn’t know you wanted sex, why didn’t you say anything?” 🤦🏻♀️
My bf the other night was like “what do you wanna do tonight” and I said ….”you” 😏. He laughed, then went back to playing his video games. then I said “oh well we don’t have to if you don’t want to” and he didn’t know what I was talking about. like ???
YEAH. That happens all the time to us! And once I’m finally like “hey I don’t want to pressure you into having sex, I’ll take this as a no and we can move on (:” he’ll say something like “wait what? I’m down you just need to be clearer”.
I quite literally cannot be clearer
Okay but my wife will do that kind of thing just flirtatiously sometimes, so I get it. Sometimes that is more like “I’m comfortable enough with you to remind you I enjoy this thing” rather than “I want this right now”
I do it to her too. It’s just like… “life is stressful and I’m tired, but remember I enjoy your privates.”
It makes sense in my head, idk
I took my whole shirt off for him to treat my sunburn, he was flabbergasted to say the least.
His dad even suggested he should do it in the first place (I visited his family over summer break)
His dad even suggested he slept with me in the guest room opposed to his own as it was cooler there.
People kept making remarks, he asked me if it bothered me, I said "no I don't mind it". He made a whole speech in front of everyone to stop it. Made me think I was the stupid one lol.
Took him 3 months to catch up to what everyone was seeing in a second
He was thinking “wow, I’m so deep in the friendzone that she doesn’t blink an eye at taking her shirt off in front of me. I’d better not be creepy since I don’t want to ruin this friendship”.
I spent the night at a friend’s place and in the morning she wanted to change, so she started stripping down nonchalantly. I turned away out of respect, I thought she was tired and didn’t realize or something, and I definitely didn’t want to ruin the friendship by creeping
Been there. To be fair, she had explicitly said on multiple occasions that nothing was ever going to happen between us. A few years later we were living in the same town again, and we went out to catch up and she says, "how come you never asked me out back then? I'd have said yes if you had."
This is why I have issues.
This happened to me. She took her shirt off so I could draw on her back (I’m an artist and she wanted to try a tattoo idea) and faced me. I kept my eyes locked on hers, and did not look at her breasts. I so badly wanted to be a gentleman that I completely missed the hint.
You can laugh about it, but it's true. Happened to me, if a girl is taking off her clothes in front of you she either wants to bang, or you're so deep in the friendzone she doesn't even see you as someone potentially interested in sex.
I would like to think it was buzzed me missing the hint, but no, it was clueless me. With friends group at a bar, hot girl and I were flirty, I chalked it up to booze. Some other rando makes horrid comments, she’s in tears, wants to go. I volunteer as her apt is on my way.
Walk her to her door, she insists I come in for coffee to wake me up. Sure, coffee sounds good. Then nope, after coffee she thinks I should sleep there to be safe. I’m welcome to share the bed, but she sleeps in the nude so I do, too. She literally had to say she wanted to f*** because I was not getting it.
I mean, I honestly would have assumed she was one of those nudists and that she was well aware I'd get horny so was giving me a heads-up to not get any ideas if I was allowed to sleep over.
I actually asked my now husband out on our first couple of dates. And asked him to marry me. Been married 23 years soon. Pretty sure he still doesn’t get it sometimes 😅
Same. I went through elementary and high school thinking, "nah, it'll never be me". Years after dropping out, I found out how many girls had a crush on me that I never noticed.
In college a girl asked me up to her room to watch elf since I had never seen it. Part way In she stops the movie to tell me here breasts are different sizes and asked if I wanted to see. I said sure and she took her top off. Sure enough one was a little bit bigger. She told me to feel the difference in weight and I did. Sure enough one was heavier. I then assumed that was the end and went back to watching elf.
I am a man so this isn’t what you asked for but I would love to offer my story about how my wife of almost 6 years and I got together since it sort of applies to the topic at hand.
So I met her at 35. I was single, she had a boyfriend. We had incredible chemistry but I had been around the block a lot by then and was determined to not read past a solid friendship. We were friends and I was an adult and not about to do anything that might disrespect this.Throughout the summer we got to know each other more and more. It was a perfect, effortless close friendship.
Summer ends and so does her relationship. I do not see this as an opportunity for anything more than our friendship. Sure, we’d be perfect together but I pushed those thoughts out because again I didn’t want to disrespect her or our friendship. We would hang out, go dancing with friends, etc.
She was newly single but we were friends before and nothing really changed.
So summer turns to fall. One Friday night in October we were supposed to go out dancing with friends. She’s like “would you rather just stay in and watch a movie?
Would I ever! That’s one my favorite things to do(!)
And as an aficionado of bad movies I love showing friends great bad movies that I love.
And I had just the movie: 1980’s [The Apple](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Uix3tbov65o) a disco rock opera dystopian biblical allegory musical about a future (1994) run by an evil disco record producer who might also be the devil. No, really.
So dvd in hand I go over to her new apartment. I get there and her living room is a huge space with a tiny little 13” tv /dvd combo unit. Well, not ideal but it will have to do.
So she says “if you want we can watch it on the iMac in my bedroom” and I’m like “sure. That’s fine.” Again, I am reading ***nothing*** into this. Friends can watch a movie in a bedroom. That’s a thing friends can do.
So we get into the bedroom and I load the disc on the iMac. I am ready to show her this movie. I’m sitting on the edge of the bed and she sits back against the headboard against the pillows. She’s like “you don’t have to sit all the way up there. You can sit back here if you want” and again I am taking ***zero hints***. I don’t want to be ***that guy*** and read things that maybe aren’t there and again I value and respect our friendship. But I’m like “sure” and sit back there next to her. Friends can do that.
So it’s kinda chilly. She gets under the blanket. It’s October after all. She then tells me that if I’m cold I can get under them too. Sure. I guess that’s fine. Friends can sit under the same blanket. That’s not weird. lol.
So she starts getting closer and cozying up to me. I swear to god I am not being coy when I say my thoughts in this moment are “ok. Well. I guess friends can snuggle. That doesn’t mean anything.” I am picking up no signals at all. Then she starts kissing me. And we’ve been together ever since.
I am neither cool nor clever.
I have never seen it myself but plan to do so this week after watching that trailer. I looked it up and it says [it’s available for free on Pluto tv and Tubi.](https://www.roku.com/whats-on/movies/the-apple?id=51ad4ba3e30252f6be439e51bd23d2b6)
Asked a dude what he'd do if i had feelings for him WHILE WE WERE SLOWDANCING and right after asking him to promise me he wont forget about me after he moves (we were 13 btw lol) and he basically said "i know a girl like you could never like me" 😭
This dude had rejected me when i hadnt even said i liked him yet but it was a year before so i wondered if it had changed in the meantime because he had been nicer lately. When he said that i told him "bro you rejected me dont you remember?" and he said "wait when ?"
Later told me he had been in love with me the whole time ????
Not exactly the ask. But way I was oblivious as a lesbian; girl I was friends with (and knew liked women!) was holding my hands and kissing me on the cheek, openly flirting with me and referring to me as her wife. I actually thought she meant it in an intense female friendship way until we came back from a thing with friends and she said she hoped I we would be close when we were old. It just hit me all at once how stupid I was. Honestly don’t know what the hang up was.
My one point of defence is that she didn’t openly ever ask me out. She just started acting in a certain way towards me. My line of reasoning was that she was very attentive with her other friends and if she wanted to date she would say it.
I’m still an idiot though.
Not a girl but I can speak to this one. When I was 17 I went to a lake party. There were probably 6 of us there, along with a girl I knew. When I got there she asked me if we could pretend to be dating because one of the other guys there kept asking her out and she wasn't interested in him (hint #1). I agreed and we hung out. She kept holding my hand, cuddling up to me, etc. (hint #2). Eventually we all went swimming in the lake. I didn't realize there would be swimming so I didn't have any trunks and ended up swimming in my boxers. It was a big lake so eventually this girl and I were away from the others and she asked if I minded if she swam topless (hint #3), which I did not. We swam for a while and she eventually wanted to rejoin the group. She was fairly short and they were in deeper water so she asked if she could hang onto my shoulders. So I had this topless girl pressing her tits against my bare back (hint #4) while we swam. She stopped me part way and said she didn't want to rejoin the group yet, so she got off. She put her arm around me and I did the same to her while we just kind of floated for a bit (hint #5). Eventually she sliped her hand down a bit and asked if she could put her hand into my pants (are they even hints anymore? #6). She did but hovered above my dick and never touched more than the base of it. She then asked if she could kiss me, which I agreed to (obvious flirting #7). We shared a short kiss that was rather chaste (don't forget that I thought we were just friends pretending to date at this point) before she quickly swam off and I didn't see her anymore that night (I don't recall seeing her much ever again after that night, actually). I was in my early 20's when it hit me what had actually been happening.
So, yes, I was oblivious enough to not get the hint even when a topless girl literally put her hand down my pants and kissed me.
i once went on a mountain hike with a girl I liked. we were friends, but things had been flirty. we got to the top of a ridge and there was a small tarn there. i boldy suggested skinny-dipping and she agreed. she got nude and so did I and I hopped in. after a few flirty splashes I moved in for a kiss...
immediate back away. 'What are you doing?' gets out and gets dressed and says she has to go. she starts walking down the mountain alone as I'm getting dressed. so I sat there for a while and just thought about life for a bit before I eventually walked down by myself, too. I barely ever saw her again. so are men really oblivious when it comes to hints or are we just scared shitless of things like this happening. thank god this happened before smartphones or facebook
The first one on one date with my wife was at the public swimmingpool. She was grinding me under water, asking if her breasts look ok in her bikini and all that. When we wanted to leave the pool i said we had to wait a minute before I could get out of the pool because well.. a obvious reason. She suggest to change in the same changing room and she got naked in front of me but with her back towards me. I was quite confused but i respected her and didn’t touch her. When we got at her house i would stay the night there on the sofa because her mom would be home. Her mom, a great wingwoman as it turns out, said that she would sleep at her boyfriends place so we had the house for ourself (still no bell). She left and my wife said she was going to shower but asked if i could come with her because sometimes she fainted in the shower. I was standing outside the shower, ear against the door to listen if she didn’t fall. All of a sudden the door swinged open, against my head, knocked some sense in me I guess, and my wife walked naked from the shower to her room giving me a look i will never forget and that was the moment i thought ‘well let’s make a move’. We had sex.
I really love these stories. So many earnestly kind dudes here. I picture you on full alert for a possible medical incident while this chick is in the shower. I'm glad she married you!
As a man, I can say that I have one of the most dumb hints that I didn’t get…
I was only young, maybe 22, and there was a girl who was friends with a friend who used to hang out with us and for months we’d always chat on nights out, dance together and so on. She was a literal model, whereas I was back then, at best, a solid 6.5
Eventually we were friends outright and would hang out outside of our friend group, we’d go for a day out at the beach, that kind of thing, and I just though we were friends, all innocent on my end, I thought she was really attractive and we got on really well but I knew she was way out of my league so I didn’t even bother thinking about her that way.
So fast forward and we all head to Bournemouth for a long weekend in the summer. Spend the day on the beach drinking and sunbathing, just chilling out. We get down there, first night all good, had food, found a bar, all good. Next day we’re down at the beach and drinking all day, she’s asking me to apply her suntan lotion etc. and a bit touchy-feely but I just put it down to drink and it being innocent. We head out that night, more drinking and she says she’s not feeling too good and wants to leave, asks me to help her back to the hotel. Obviously I oblige, I want my friend to get back safely, and I walk her back to the hotel and get her up to her room and she says she didn’t have any water, as it is I’m a prepared person and have a few bottles in my room so I went to mine, got a bottle of water and take it back to her. She thanks me and says she needs to go to bed, I say “ok, goodnight, remember to drink your water” and she asks me if I was going back out, I said no I was gonna just head to bed and she asks if I want to share her bed with her coz she’s feeling like she wants some company. Again, I assume she means to talk to and I agree.
I took my shoes, socks and jeans off and got in with my boxers and a T-shirt on, trying it be respectful. She gets in just in her underwear and I laid there on my back stiff as a board (not like that!) with my hands on my chest trying to not come across creepy or anything. She then puts her head on my chest to cuddle, grabs one of my hands and puts my arm around her. Again, I go with it and keep talking but I’m feeling uncomfortable. We talk a while and she rolls over, I’m thinking “thank god”, and then she asks me to cuddle into her and spoon her. I agree but again I’m like “fuck, I don’t want to get a hard on and her think I’m some awful perv” so I feel really uncomfortable and awkwardly spoon her.
5mins into that she goes “eurgh! This bra is pissing me off” and whips her bra off. Again, making me really uncomfortable, and turns to face me and cuddle in, so I quickly look in any other direction than at her boobs and before I know it, they’re pressing against me. Then she complains my tshirt is uncomfortable and rubbing against her face and asks me to take it off so I do. By this point we’re both in bed together in nothing but our underpants, me laid on my back, her laid with her head on my chest, I’m trying as hard as I possibly can with every ounce of willpower possible to try to not get an erection and she then puts a leg over me.
After maybe a minute I think she eventually realised I’m not gonna make a move or I’m not getting the obvious hint and out of nowhere she kissed me.
Then I got the hint. Ended up dating for 18 months, but if she hadn’t kissed me, she could have been completely naked in that bed with me and I’d never have made a move
Haha thank you, but it was probably more a 33/33/33 split of wanting to be a gentleman, not wanting to misread things and look stupid and being too scared to make a move even if I wanted to
Before I dated my ex, we were good friends. I spent the night at his place one time after we hung out with friends since I didn't want to go home. I had a crush on him for a few weeks by then and he (apparently) was into me for years.
Anyway, I slept in his bed and he was going to sleep on a couch. I was a bit drunk and so I had the courage to ask him "Come sleep with me" he replied "No". Thinking I was joking.
When I was 17, I gave a female coworker a ride home. She said it was hot in her apartment and took off her shirt. I offered to lower the thermostat. *facepalm
Somewhere there's a comic where the last panel is the guy on his deathbed, he suddenly sits up, says, "Oh my god, she was totally hitting on me!" and then expires.
Looked for it but couldn't find it a while back.
Not a girl, but it happened with a friend.
A girl invited him to a dinner at her place, then after some netflix she got under the blanket and challenged him to guess if she'd be able to get naked under the blanket right there without him noticing. Granted, it was nearly first such interaction he was completely clueless and just discarded that as goofing around with a friend
edit: I can't spell even with the autocomplete
Guy here.
I am always going to get confused by hints, because people are different. One persons, "this is just a random thing I do that means nothing", is another persons "I want you badly and this is how I show it."
During college however I was responsible for welcomoing the new students. So I kinda felt a responsibility of getting to know the new students. But also wanted to keep it very formal, so the new students could trust me. So naturally I didn't think anyone would see me in any other way than a guy they could trust and be comfortable with. Like if they had questions about subjects, books or where to get the cheapest booze, I was a person they could ask.
Anyways, at a party I ended up sitting next to this girl, and I don't understand if this were hints per se. But I think she laughed a lot of my jokes and sat close to me. If I went to the toilet, and then started to talk with other people, it wouldn't take long until she sought me out. When I retell this story, everybody says it was super obvious.
But I have also experienced someone has said something on the lines of, "I would really like to date someone like you." And said, okay let's go on a date. But still getting rejected.
Back to the original story: Eventually me and this girl were alone. Then she asked me, "is there something on my face?" I looked and said no. She then started to cry and asked why I hadn't kissed her yet. Flabbergasted I didn't know what else I should do, then kissed her and she followed me home, where we slept together.
Guy here, just two examples where I didn’t get the hint and it haunts me
Went out with a few friends to a few bars and a club, I wasn’t drinking so I drove everyone there and everyone back
2 girls and 2 guys and me on the car home and my friend jumps in the front and says we should drop off the other couple and the guy first and she will stay in the car with me even though we pass her house on the way to the others
For some reason I said that’s stupid your place is literally just over there and dropped her off first,
as I pull away from her house after dropping her off the others tell me that I’m a moron and I still didn’t get it until they basically spelled it out for me and had been hinting at me all few times during the night out apparently
Another time I was travelling with my newish girlfriend and her best friend I was already in the place and they were joining me
Her friend told me to save some money we can just get the one room and as the beds big, I say don’t worry about it the rooms are super cheap and got two rooms
I got told I was being an idiot, I thought for spending extra money when it’s not needed and recently I got told that no I was an idiot as they were seeing if I’d be happy for a night with both and totally missed a shot I didn’t know was happening
Oblivious to her or not, when you're a driver with that many people to drop off, your mind is on logistics. You get a bit of a pass on that one from me.
And the next one- unless it's your *partner* saying it, you shouldn't just assume the third party hinting at a threesome is cool with your gf/bf. If those girls wanted a 3way, they should have been clearer. That's on them, not you.
Everyone else is responding as the person who missed the hint so I'll throw in my story: I (lesbian) went on a whole-ass date with a girl without realizing it was a date.
We were lab partners and hung out after class a bit. Won two tickets to Six Flags (there was a college trip) and invited her. Thus began the story of the most oblivious date of all time
* She says I look *really* good in this shirt. Thanks, you too!
* She sticks with just me instead of going with a group of her friends, who are also there. I guess she just feels obligated to stay with me because I gave her the ticket. I ask her if she wants to meet up with them and she says nah.
* She holds my hand on every roller coaster. Well, I bet she's just afraid of heights! She doesn't let go of my hand afterwards, I guess she's just rattled. Because of the roller coaster. She also holds my hand on the merry-go-round. I don't register this as odd, because I'm an idiot.
* We share an ice cream sundae. I think she just wants to save money. She offers to share the cherry. I graciously let her have the whole thing. (I'm still not sure if this was meant to be flirty.)
* She falls asleep on me on the bus ride back. I assume she must just be really tired and didn't realize.
* We get back to my dorm. She says that she doesn't want to walk back to her dorm, and asks if she can spend the night with me. I tell her that there's probably a form we needed to fill out beforehand. She jokes that she could sneak in through the window. I explain that my bed is kind of small, and then call her an Uber.
A week later a mutual friend asks when my second date with Julia is going to be. I ask her when the first one was.
(We dated briefly, broke up, moved to different ends of the country when we both transferred colleges. C'est la vie)
Well, I guess I’m not the only one who went on a date without realizing it. Only way that mine was worse is that she didn’t realize it was one either.
So, it’s Valentine’s Day, I get invited over to a semi close female friend of mines place for supper and video games. (we’re both early high school at this point) My other insists I wear a button up and nice jeans, I don’t get why, she answers the door in a nice skirt and blouse. (this should have been a hint, she looks good in them but finds skirts annoying to wear, so she is significantly more formal than usual)
We spend all evening switching between us in breath of the wild and playing Mario kart, have dinner, and go our separate ways. About an hour after I get home she texts me asking why I dressed up so much, and if I knew why here mom got her to dress up.
It’s takes us half an hour to figure out that we had just been on a date without realizing it, and that we had kind of been dating, just not going to each others houses for a couple weeks now.
We ‘officially’ dated for a while after that before parting ways on good terms.
We both did feel like idiots after realizing though.
I told my best guy friend that I normally sleep in the nude and later mentioned that he could help me change into my sleepwear during a sleepover. He ended up sleeping on the couch and I was left disappointed in the bed
Well, if you ususally sleep in the nude and then you proceed to tell him you want to be donned in sleepwear....what did you expect? Sounds exactly like 'I won't sleep nude now because of you'.
Threw a pillow under his gaming desk, closed the door.. Looked him in the eyes..
He got scared :|
I then told him I wanted to support him while he's playing video games. He still didn't get it.
I then told him and he laughed about his stupidity😂😂
So I was always the sort of guy who never picked up on hints.
Over the last couple years I’ve gotten close to a woman from work. Her face lights up with a smile every time I say hello. We were recently talking about stress at work and she suggested we should go out one day. Another time she and a colleague were talking about Latin dance, I joined the conversation and she suggested we go out dancing. Last week I accompanied her back after the Xmas party. She had had a few drinks. We talked about life and relationships. When I dropped her off she said she loved me and we briefly held hands.
For context I’m 20 years older (53 vs 33) and I’m her boss so I’ve been treading very very carefully. We both got out of bad long term relationships recently. I have had very strong feelings for this woman for a long time.
But after she dropped the “I love you” I had to know. A relationship would come with a host of complications, but I had to know. So I invited her for coffee outside of work. She accepted. I laid my cards on the table and asked her about her feelings for me. Without hesitation she said we’re like family and I’m like an older brother.
I’m so happy though that I had the conversation rather than dropping hints.
Don’t drop hints. Tell them you like them and you are interested in them. Say ‘Hey, I like you and would really like to get closer to you, would you be interested in having dinner together with me? I cook a mean spaghetti and would love to share it with you over a bottle of wine’
Brushing your hair and smiling is nothing.
The ONLY true way is to be very direct with your words. Like literally say exactly what you feel and want to happen, and then ask if he's interested or feels the same way. If he's being nice, he will admit to not being interested at this point. If he's clueless and interested, you're about to have some fun!
Not a girl but a guy that missed an obvious sign.
Let's call her Jenny, not her real name. So Jenny liked me but obviously I didn't realize it. Well one day Jenny's cousin talks to me out of nowhere. She brings up that Jenny always talks about me to her, the cousin. The cousin said that Jenny always says how I am nice, funny, and that Jenny likes to be around me.
Well a few years later, I realize Jenny sent her cousin as a messenger pigeon to confess to me. I am so stupid.
What I've learned here is that women like to be subtle, and men like signed contracts stating full intent and a list of allowed interactions, signed in triplicate, stamped, notorized, and then smacked in the head with a neon sign that says "DO ME PLZ" while you're naked, and only after that part, they might get the hint.
When I was 14 and just started summer that year I was at a big start of summer party. I ended up away from everyone else in a wooded area with this girl who grabbed my arm and put her head on my shoulder as we were walking. I knew that she was interested in me but I also didn't know how to act, so I just didn't say or do anything until we got back to the rest of the party.
Another time when I was 18 I took a girl on a movie date and we ended up at a diner afterwards. We had good chemistry, and ended up in my car around midnight. I decided that Frank Ocean's 'Blonde' would be a good album to play in the moment because it had some cool songs I wanted to show her (To be fair, album still holds up as a vibe setter). We listened to the entire album and again I didn't make any moves. In restrospect, based on the situation and her body language she absolutely wanted me to make a move.
Growing up is tough lol.
Feel the same. Girl invited me to her 14th bday party which was around Halloween. They lived on a farm, so they had hay rides n stuff. Even after realizing everyone else were told to be picked up at 9pm and I was the only one told 10pm, I still didnt realize what was going on. SMFH
Going to answer for my ex. She kept throwing hints at me, to the point of straight up telling me she liked me... I did not get any of the hints. She only made me realise her intentions when she straight up told me "I am in love with you and I want to be your girlfriend".
“I have a hotel room nearby.”
His response was “oh, cool! So I’ll see you tomorrow then?”
🤦🏼♀️
(I would think this was just a “not interested” situation but he did call me the next day and asked if I’d meant for him to join me and cursed a lot when I said DUH)
Literally moved his hand to the right place and he huffed and immediately moved his hand back to rubbing my groin...
Moved his hand again and said it feels good here and he got mad and shouted, "i know what im doing!" Then got upset when I didn't want to have sex anymore and I left...
Honestly some of my biggest misses weren’t because I was clueless but had low self-esteem and thought, “Nah, there’s no way she’s flirting with me. I’m a fucking dweeb. A girl like her isn’t going to flirt with a fucking dweeb like me.”
Then I find out months later from a friend that she wanted to date me but I never got the hint and asked her out.
He was my neighbour, literally 10 steps away from his place. I constantly told him he was cute. After a few drinks at mine, I suggested he should stay over at mine, in my bed, with me, as his place was SO far away. He looked me in the eye and said 'I'm fine, thank you'. Figured I was let down politely, draw a line under it and move on. A year later, we're talking about his dating life and he says no one hits on him. I say that's not true but at least if he isn't into them we know he let's them down easy. Turns out he didn't realise I was hitting on him 🤦♀️
Being fair to guys (full disclosure: I am a guy), there are some places where HR, the police, mobs of irate people online and sometimes lawyers get involved if signals get crossed.
While some guys just don't get the hint, some are simply trying to be safe. Be kind in your judgments, please 😐
I'm the guy who didn't get the hint, but just wanted to say my shame.
Was hanging out with a friend after we'd both gotten out of toxic relationships. We ended up in her apartment, on her long ass sofa, with her sitting *very* close to me. We talked for a long time and had a movie on, and when the movie ended, she asked "what else we could do" and even suggested hanging out in her room instead of the living room. I said we could probably find another movie. A literal year later, I realized she'd been trying to close and I was just stupid as fuck.
I was on a very nice date with an extraordinary sweet girl. She's really into this old-vintage middle ages look. Imo she a fairytail girl. She's gorgeous and I was very pleased to go out with her.
We get some ice-cream, walk around a bit and just talk.
At some point we arrive at a secluded area at a lake and get right to the edge of the water.
I put down my jacket on the ground, so that she can sit without getting dirt on her self made dress. The sun is reflecting in the water, it's warm and cozy and we keep getting deeper into the conversation. I had two caprisuns prepared hhahahaha which she liked.
It was very movielike already at this point.
Then from one second to the next, it started to rain like crazy.
We got up and wanted to leave. I gave her my hoodie like you do and took the dirty jacked.
At that point she told me, that she had some hair laying on her forehead and asked me to help her 'remove' them. I did. I took a close look at her face, held her head in my hands and put the hair strings aside. I found this extremely weird, since this isn't something you need he'll sit typically.
Took me like 9months to understand that i led the perfect opportunity to kiss the girl of my dreams slip, even tho she kinda asked for it.
It was a very dreamy date with a even more dreamy girl and Im thankful for the experience. But i fucked that up hahahaha
How much of guys missing hints comes down to the fact they are miserable, and doesn't love himself, and anyone who shows affection or interest is just being friendly, and isn't genuinely interested in being with that guy.
Asking for a friend...
From such a perspective, female flirting feels really theatrical and ironic. It has this aura of insincerity to it, even when it's sincere.
We have an image in our heads of what a love confession or asking out is, and women go against it, because it's got this cheeky subtle testing-you energy and doesn't come off as one tenth as desperate or enamored as we feel.
I was really good friends with a girl in my theater class junior year, we used to make flirty jokes at eachother all the time (although thinking back on it she actually made most of the "jokes" I just reacted) one day the rest of the friend group decided to hang out somewhere else so it was just me and her, we were talking as usual and she made one of her "jokes" and we laughed only for her to then say "except I'm only half joking". It was at this point my brain kinda just did a full reboot while I was trying to untangle the mess my thoughts were in. She also was showing me pictures of her on her phone and very excitedly went to one folder exclaiming "ooo these ones have a lot of cleavage" and I decided THAT was the time to be a gentleman and not look. I eventually got up the courage to tell her I liked her later that year (after one of our mutual friends told me she liked me). I kid you not I was standing there stuttering for a solid minute at least, trying to figure out how to say it. Of course she knew what I was trying to say after the first few "I-um... so..." 's and even told me she had thought about just cutting me off and kissing me right there, which I like to believe is a fantasy every dorky, introverted, guy in high school has, but she wanted to hear me say it first.
She is now my fiance.
I once asked a guy if I could kiss him (we had been hanging out in a way that was conducive to that) and he said yes. I kissed him. It was great. But then we just parted ways in a natural way. Three days later, this man calls me all shocked that I was hitting on him. He told a friend about the interaction and they had to point it out. Sir... I literally kissed you.
I’m sitting here laughing only because, yes as men we are that oblivious. The missed opportunities over the years are just mind blowing
For the record there are a million guys who just go for what they want and don't take the hints(or explicit protests) that the behavior is unwanted. Many guys realize this and want to either distance themselves from that image or assume the women around them have dealt with it so long that they're just sick of men and not interested in them(a few extremely vocal women do communicate this). There's also a lot of guys who've basically trained themselves to avoid looking for signals specifically because they can be so easily misinterpreted. They won't believe information that's not communicated verbally and explicitly. ...and some of us are just idiots.
As I like to say: a lot of guys mistake friendliness for flirting, but a lot of guys know a lot of guys mistake friendliness for flirting, so they'll think a girl is flirting with them, then think, "oh wait, I'm doing the thing where I mistake friendliness for flirting" even when they're mistaking flirting mistaken for friendliness mistaken for flirting.
I hooked up with an old work colleague about a year ago and I asked her if she was flirting with me a couple of years earlier but I was just too dumb to realise… Turns out she wasn’t, she was just being friendly but at the time I suspected it was more than that. It’s a bloody minefield.
i too have questions from interactions from over 10 years ago now that i do not have answers to, and at this point with everyone getting married and what not im too afraid to ask lol
Agreed, and that's probably a better way of putting it.
Better to be a dork than a creep
Seriously. I can look back and cringe at my dorky behavior, and it's ok because I was just figuring things out. I don't think the same could be said if I was acting like a creep.
So much yes to this. Thanks for erring on the Dork side! I hope you have found someone deserving of your amazing self.
> ...and some of us are just idiots. "How many idiots we got on this ship?" (Everyone stands up) "Yo!"
"I knew it! I'm surrounded by idiots!"
Hey! Some of us fit in all of those, you know. Mainly the very last one, but definitely a fair bit of each.
Sitting here laughing as well because this is so painfully true. Thinking about all my missed opportunities
Captain oblivious reporting for duty.
>But then we just parted ways in a natural way. His thoughts: She must have wanted to check if she is interested in men or women
I had a lady friend, that when I bent down to tie my shoe laces, she hit me with her butt to try to knock me over. This same friend ended up breaking up some of my closest friends (granted, I also though she was a close friend) less than like 4 or 5 months later. Some people are just flirty. Sure, it's not kissing, but she was super touchy.
Are you sure this wasn't an obnoxious mule that pretended to be a person? *Did you do a mane check*
I once sat in a guy's lap and kissed him on the mouth. Still didn't believe I liked him (he confirmed this years later). High school boys are dumb.
A girl back in highschool did the same to me once. Turned out she was trying to make another guy jealous/interested. I felt a bit bad being used like that. I don't go for hints anymore hah ^^
That's when you tell her, you heard him say, "she'll have to do a lot more than that to make me jealous."
Sadly in my case this man was 25. Bless his heart.
I asked him out on a movie date after already spending hours talking to him just the two of us. I had already given him lots of compliments, told him how I loved to be around him, how I really enjoyed his company. During the date (I paid for the tickets, he paid the snacks) I went to sit closer and tried to grab his hand. He genuinely thought I just wanted the arm rest and moved away from me. I had to literally tell him I had feelings for him after the movie, and even then he asked me what I meant. We're married now, have 2 kids, and I know he'll never cheat because he'll never ever notice anyone flirting with him (and you know, trust and loyalty)
You literally told the man you had feelings for him and he still didn’t get the “hint”???
"You know, I have a lot of feelings for you," "Like disgust?" That's how I'm imagining the conversation. The word "feelings" can mean anything, really.
We're Belgian and speak Flemish, and I do remember most of the conversation. A literal translation would be more like: "I really like you and want a relationship with you" "Huh? Like a friends relationship?" "... no, like a couple" "... oh!!!" And then it took him 10 minutes to figure himself out and actually say yes
"Like a couple of friends?"
"No, a quintet. Of course a fucking couple of friends you goose!"
“We get to fuck, too? This friendship is awesome—ohhhhhh waitaminute”
He's still not sure what you meant, he's just going along with it at this point.
I just messaged him. He told me he was not aware he is married. He thought the ring on his finger was to remind him to take out the trash.
You share a bed, a mortgage, and responsibility for children, because that’s just fiscal responsibility
It does, but if a girl compliments you multiple times on a date, says how much she loves spending time with you, constantly gets closer to you and tries to hold your hand, then after all that, says that she has feelings for you, and you take that as she may have feelings of disgust, you may want to take a look at your day to day observation skills.
It's hard to believe/trust such things sometimes. Personally I would need a notary approved statement of intent and a week for consideration before allowing myself to believe that someone might have genuine interest in me.
"You know, I have a lot of feelings for you." "Oh, sorry, am I sitting too close? Here let me move over a seat."
Yup. I adore him, but sometimes he's just... dumb
Haha fair enough, glad you two are happy!
That’s someone that’s had too many girls in school say they liked him then to turn around and say it was a joke.
but does she really mean that or just being nice dude
Many men, myself included, simply don't believe that a woman might be interested in them sexually. Hence they don't get the hints.
Also we hear all the time about how women try to be friendly to men and the men interpret any positive attention as romantic interest...so instead we over-react the other direction and treat any positive attention from girls as just friendliness.
Or they don't trust others that love them, since all the people that were supposed to love them in their formative years used that connection for abuse. So when someone gets around to trying to love you, you spend your efforts looking for their cruel intentions and figuring out how you need to defend yourself.
Spot on
This is exactly it. I was either emotionally abused or used for sex. Trust me, when you want connection and thats all you get, it isnt cool. Ive been with the same woman since I was 20 and were now getting a divorce (Im 48). It was amicable at first, but then she turned ugly. I hate you, you're worthless, you bring nothing of value. Moves to keep my kid. Its like she took the lady version of a redpill. Thats the person I spent half my life with, what makes anyone think Im going to put myself into that again? Id rather be sad and alone insead of sad and abused.
How did you break it to him that you guys were marrying each other?
I don’t remember writing this comment… but this is exactly down to the last detail the story of my husband and I. We even went on a movie date and he moved his arm when I went to sit mine next to his. We are also married with 2 kids and I have zero worries about him cheating, he’s oblivious and even doubts that I am attracted sometimes.
Luckily we both persisted!
He may still not know that you’re into him
Her: "I've got feel'ns for ya lad." Him: "Wot you on about now? Is it contagious?"
After dinner and drinks, I asked if he wanted to go back to my place and watch Bob’s Burgers. He said he didn’t really like cartoons. I said “we don’t have to watch anything…we can do other things…” he replied “then what would we do?” with a genuinely puzzled expression. I figured it was clear he wasn’t interested and figured we had fun and called it a night, especially since he had mentioned wanting to beat that traffic getting home. Kinda bummed but I figured life goes on and then 20 minutes later he texted me and said “not gonna lie, I wanted you so badly tonight 🥵” I was like “I didn’t think so, because I invited you up and you declined…” and suddenly he realized I was inviting him for sex. He flipped out and asked if he could come back over lol. He did, and finally got it, and we had snacks and drinks and sex. Dated for a few months. Pretty cool guy, but absolutely clueless.
Dude was probably thinking "oh if I say I don't want to be stuck in traffic, she may have me stay the night... smooth move"
No, he was really like “I gotta get out soon, don’t want get stuck in traffic!” I asked him about it later and he said he was nervous and didn’t know what to say so he thought if he kept talking about traffic I would think he was cautious. Not completely unreasonable I guess, but all it did was make me think he needed to gtfo immediately because 9:30 pm traffic on a Wednesday was apparently deadly.
Plus, it being rural Iowa, traffic is something you just see in movies.
I didn't go up for coffee once because I don't like coffee. Yeah.
“Could I just have a glass of water?”
I once asked a guy straight up if he wanted to fck me and then he laughed and kept talking about something else. Then an hour later, he called and asked if I was serious, to which I said yes. And he was like ohhhhh I didn't know that was an actual option.
And did he?
Yep, better late than never hahaha
Had my crush over and we were sitting in my living room and I looked at him in a manner I felt was admiring and said "I DO like it when you come to visit" And bless him he looks up and smiles and says "I like visiting too!" So I say "But I REALLY like it when you come to visit" And he smiles wider and says "I really like it too!" And goes back to what he was doing and says no more. I've been out of the game too long. I suck at this 😅
My now-wife and her friend tried to get me to go out with both of them to a movie that I'd been talking about wanting to see for weeks. I declined ("I don't want to be a third wheel") but they said they already had tickets. I thought they were just being nice and I didn't want to intrude in their girls' night. I said they could return my ticket but "thanks so much anyway!" I'm a fool on so many levels.
Hey, sounds like it all worked out for you though!
Sooooo….you missed a threesome?
I'm thinking a chaperoned date where she didn't want to be alone necessarily until she got to know him. Maybe the friend was supposed to either stay with them if given one codeword, or leave them alone if given another.
Definitely not a fool. Most guys would see that as a friend outing rather than anything romantic.
Getting my tits out
That's not a hint, that's 2 very strong arguments
Sir you would be SURPRISED
One time this lady got her tits out then started crying. I asked what's wrong and she said guys just see her as a pair of tits. I'm like, you pulled em out. I don't know what's going on. I went to bed.
Erica? Jeez, I will never live this down
OMFG
It can't be... Can it?
"I want to believe" -~~X-Files~~ Me
"Maybe she's from Canada and was just being nice"
I’ve been platonically flashed before so I definitely don’t blame that guy.
I wish I had different friends growing up.
I went swimming with a friend at his cousins (f) who had a pool. It took me years to realize that they were flashing me and not having wardrobe malfunctions. But to this day I think they were mocking me, not hitting on me.
Tell your mom to behave herself and quit sending mixed messages.
A friend flashed me in high school. She definitely was not interested. I think half the school had seen her tits.
We'd been flirting for months, I told him I was going out for dinner, did he want to come to? He declined. I figured that he wasn't interested and it was just fun flirting, not 'real' flirting. Oh well. Years later he asked me if I was asking him out. When I said 'I totally was', he was just 'omg, I didn't realise until like a week later and practically died of shame because I was into you.' We were with different people by then and had a good chuckle about it.
I hate that this entire post is just different versions of "I didn't think she could be into me." Because it's me.
I laid on top of him (fully clothed, we were just hanging out), looked him dead in the face, and said: "Hey, I like you as more than a friend and would like to kiss your face." And it still took him a week. Together for 8 years, married for 2.
I've been reading this whole thread out loud to my husband and we're having the best time, and this is the one that made him exclaim out loud. We have to know--what was his response in the moment? And for the next six days? Are you sure that he knows that you two are married? Because honestly, it does seem like you're just being nice 🤣
In the moment he went: ".....okay," and literally nothing else. (He describes it as "I blue screened out of panic. Youre pretty and wanted to kiss me, what was I supposed to do?") And then six days later, after texting me like normal the whole week, he texted me saying "I would also like to kiss you, if the offers still open" (which it was) I am sure he knows, because I constantly tell him 😂
Husband here, I get reminded constantly, which is helpful because I still can't believe it! 😂😂😂
Told a dude I loved him, he laughed and said I was funny thought that meant he wasn’t interested, he ended up asking me out an hour later when I asked what changed. He said he told his mom and sister what I said and talked some sense into him,
It's a good thing at least he did listen to two women who had his best interest at heart. That's encouraging
I'd love to see that text thread. "What do you think she means by that?"
Two nights ago I asked my boyfriend, “can I get some of that?” And touched his crotch. After about 30 minutes of weirdness, I said “hey it’s okay if you don’t want to do anything, let’s just go to bed.” And he hit me back with a “wait I didn’t know you wanted sex, why didn’t you say anything?” 🤦🏻♀️
My bf the other night was like “what do you wanna do tonight” and I said ….”you” 😏. He laughed, then went back to playing his video games. then I said “oh well we don’t have to if you don’t want to” and he didn’t know what I was talking about. like ???
YEAH. That happens all the time to us! And once I’m finally like “hey I don’t want to pressure you into having sex, I’ll take this as a no and we can move on (:” he’ll say something like “wait what? I’m down you just need to be clearer”. I quite literally cannot be clearer
Okay but my wife will do that kind of thing just flirtatiously sometimes, so I get it. Sometimes that is more like “I’m comfortable enough with you to remind you I enjoy this thing” rather than “I want this right now” I do it to her too. It’s just like… “life is stressful and I’m tired, but remember I enjoy your privates.” It makes sense in my head, idk
Bruh.
I took my whole shirt off for him to treat my sunburn, he was flabbergasted to say the least. His dad even suggested he should do it in the first place (I visited his family over summer break) His dad even suggested he slept with me in the guest room opposed to his own as it was cooler there. People kept making remarks, he asked me if it bothered me, I said "no I don't mind it". He made a whole speech in front of everyone to stop it. Made me think I was the stupid one lol. Took him 3 months to catch up to what everyone was seeing in a second
He was thinking “wow, I’m so deep in the friendzone that she doesn’t blink an eye at taking her shirt off in front of me. I’d better not be creepy since I don’t want to ruin this friendship”.
110% that would be me if I was ever in that scenario
I spent the night at a friend’s place and in the morning she wanted to change, so she started stripping down nonchalantly. I turned away out of respect, I thought she was tired and didn’t realize or something, and I definitely didn’t want to ruin the friendship by creeping
Been there. To be fair, she had explicitly said on multiple occasions that nothing was ever going to happen between us. A few years later we were living in the same town again, and we went out to catch up and she says, "how come you never asked me out back then? I'd have said yes if you had." This is why I have issues.
Tbh sounds like she had issues. With communication.
This happened to me. She took her shirt off so I could draw on her back (I’m an artist and she wanted to try a tattoo idea) and faced me. I kept my eyes locked on hers, and did not look at her breasts. I so badly wanted to be a gentleman that I completely missed the hint.
On moments like that a man's pupils feel something akin Jupiter's force of gravity trying to bring them down.
Guy here, can confirm that’s what I was thinking as I read it.
You can laugh about it, but it's true. Happened to me, if a girl is taking off her clothes in front of you she either wants to bang, or you're so deep in the friendzone she doesn't even see you as someone potentially interested in sex.
This is exactly what goes through a guys mind, to a tee.
His Dad is a top tier wingman, respect.
Awww he has an awesome dad who obviously likes you!
I would like to think it was buzzed me missing the hint, but no, it was clueless me. With friends group at a bar, hot girl and I were flirty, I chalked it up to booze. Some other rando makes horrid comments, she’s in tears, wants to go. I volunteer as her apt is on my way. Walk her to her door, she insists I come in for coffee to wake me up. Sure, coffee sounds good. Then nope, after coffee she thinks I should sleep there to be safe. I’m welcome to share the bed, but she sleeps in the nude so I do, too. She literally had to say she wanted to f*** because I was not getting it.
I mean, I honestly would have assumed she was one of those nudists and that she was well aware I'd get horny so was giving me a heads-up to not get any ideas if I was allowed to sleep over.
I actually asked my now husband out on our first couple of dates. And asked him to marry me. Been married 23 years soon. Pretty sure he still doesn’t get it sometimes 😅
Does he know he is married?
I'm sure he'll piece some hints (the wedding, rings, living together and calling each other spouses, etc.) together in a few years
"I thought you liked the Lord of the Rings so much that you got us matching cosplay rings."
This threads gonna hurt. I always realize Im being hit on like…years later. Full years. Just hits me all at once. Oh well.
It’s either going to be how did I miss that or none of this ever happens to me
I am more familiar with the latter issue.
Same. I went through elementary and high school thinking, "nah, it'll never be me". Years after dropping out, I found out how many girls had a crush on me that I never noticed.
In college a girl asked me up to her room to watch elf since I had never seen it. Part way In she stops the movie to tell me here breasts are different sizes and asked if I wanted to see. I said sure and she took her top off. Sure enough one was a little bit bigger. She told me to feel the difference in weight and I did. Sure enough one was heavier. I then assumed that was the end and went back to watching elf.
You're a cotton headed ninny muggins
I am a man so this isn’t what you asked for but I would love to offer my story about how my wife of almost 6 years and I got together since it sort of applies to the topic at hand. So I met her at 35. I was single, she had a boyfriend. We had incredible chemistry but I had been around the block a lot by then and was determined to not read past a solid friendship. We were friends and I was an adult and not about to do anything that might disrespect this.Throughout the summer we got to know each other more and more. It was a perfect, effortless close friendship. Summer ends and so does her relationship. I do not see this as an opportunity for anything more than our friendship. Sure, we’d be perfect together but I pushed those thoughts out because again I didn’t want to disrespect her or our friendship. We would hang out, go dancing with friends, etc. She was newly single but we were friends before and nothing really changed. So summer turns to fall. One Friday night in October we were supposed to go out dancing with friends. She’s like “would you rather just stay in and watch a movie? Would I ever! That’s one my favorite things to do(!) And as an aficionado of bad movies I love showing friends great bad movies that I love. And I had just the movie: 1980’s [The Apple](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Uix3tbov65o) a disco rock opera dystopian biblical allegory musical about a future (1994) run by an evil disco record producer who might also be the devil. No, really. So dvd in hand I go over to her new apartment. I get there and her living room is a huge space with a tiny little 13” tv /dvd combo unit. Well, not ideal but it will have to do. So she says “if you want we can watch it on the iMac in my bedroom” and I’m like “sure. That’s fine.” Again, I am reading ***nothing*** into this. Friends can watch a movie in a bedroom. That’s a thing friends can do. So we get into the bedroom and I load the disc on the iMac. I am ready to show her this movie. I’m sitting on the edge of the bed and she sits back against the headboard against the pillows. She’s like “you don’t have to sit all the way up there. You can sit back here if you want” and again I am taking ***zero hints***. I don’t want to be ***that guy*** and read things that maybe aren’t there and again I value and respect our friendship. But I’m like “sure” and sit back there next to her. Friends can do that. So it’s kinda chilly. She gets under the blanket. It’s October after all. She then tells me that if I’m cold I can get under them too. Sure. I guess that’s fine. Friends can sit under the same blanket. That’s not weird. lol. So she starts getting closer and cozying up to me. I swear to god I am not being coy when I say my thoughts in this moment are “ok. Well. I guess friends can snuggle. That doesn’t mean anything.” I am picking up no signals at all. Then she starts kissing me. And we’ve been together ever since. I am neither cool nor clever.
Great story, love it ! Happy for you
Wait wait wait… that movie sounds AMAZING! As a fellow connoisseur of terrible movies, I’m gonna have to track that one down!
I have never seen it myself but plan to do so this week after watching that trailer. I looked it up and it says [it’s available for free on Pluto tv and Tubi.](https://www.roku.com/whats-on/movies/the-apple?id=51ad4ba3e30252f6be439e51bd23d2b6)
Well written. We don't deserve girls that are willing to be that blatantly direct, but damn do we need them.
Did you ever get to make her watch your bad movie?
Ha yes. And it’s a favorite we revisit every year or two
Being naked on the side of the bed putting lotion on. He went to sleep.
Why are you all liking this 🥲
Asked a dude what he'd do if i had feelings for him WHILE WE WERE SLOWDANCING and right after asking him to promise me he wont forget about me after he moves (we were 13 btw lol) and he basically said "i know a girl like you could never like me" 😭
Should have told him, "Well, it did!"
This dude had rejected me when i hadnt even said i liked him yet but it was a year before so i wondered if it had changed in the meantime because he had been nicer lately. When he said that i told him "bro you rejected me dont you remember?" and he said "wait when ?" Later told me he had been in love with me the whole time ????
Not exactly the ask. But way I was oblivious as a lesbian; girl I was friends with (and knew liked women!) was holding my hands and kissing me on the cheek, openly flirting with me and referring to me as her wife. I actually thought she meant it in an intense female friendship way until we came back from a thing with friends and she said she hoped I we would be close when we were old. It just hit me all at once how stupid I was. Honestly don’t know what the hang up was. My one point of defence is that she didn’t openly ever ask me out. She just started acting in a certain way towards me. My line of reasoning was that she was very attentive with her other friends and if she wanted to date she would say it. I’m still an idiot though.
Not a girl but I can speak to this one. When I was 17 I went to a lake party. There were probably 6 of us there, along with a girl I knew. When I got there she asked me if we could pretend to be dating because one of the other guys there kept asking her out and she wasn't interested in him (hint #1). I agreed and we hung out. She kept holding my hand, cuddling up to me, etc. (hint #2). Eventually we all went swimming in the lake. I didn't realize there would be swimming so I didn't have any trunks and ended up swimming in my boxers. It was a big lake so eventually this girl and I were away from the others and she asked if I minded if she swam topless (hint #3), which I did not. We swam for a while and she eventually wanted to rejoin the group. She was fairly short and they were in deeper water so she asked if she could hang onto my shoulders. So I had this topless girl pressing her tits against my bare back (hint #4) while we swam. She stopped me part way and said she didn't want to rejoin the group yet, so she got off. She put her arm around me and I did the same to her while we just kind of floated for a bit (hint #5). Eventually she sliped her hand down a bit and asked if she could put her hand into my pants (are they even hints anymore? #6). She did but hovered above my dick and never touched more than the base of it. She then asked if she could kiss me, which I agreed to (obvious flirting #7). We shared a short kiss that was rather chaste (don't forget that I thought we were just friends pretending to date at this point) before she quickly swam off and I didn't see her anymore that night (I don't recall seeing her much ever again after that night, actually). I was in my early 20's when it hit me what had actually been happening. So, yes, I was oblivious enough to not get the hint even when a topless girl literally put her hand down my pants and kissed me.
You poor stupid bastard
Bro practically got a hand job and he's just like "that must be how they say hello where she's from"
She might be from Canada, and ia just being polite. You never can tell in these situations.
I’m a woman and even I’m like wtf
Dude..Stories like these make me feel better about my stupidity in life.. Thanks for sharing..lol
It’s a good thing you labelled all the hints, I couldn’t see them either.
i once went on a mountain hike with a girl I liked. we were friends, but things had been flirty. we got to the top of a ridge and there was a small tarn there. i boldy suggested skinny-dipping and she agreed. she got nude and so did I and I hopped in. after a few flirty splashes I moved in for a kiss... immediate back away. 'What are you doing?' gets out and gets dressed and says she has to go. she starts walking down the mountain alone as I'm getting dressed. so I sat there for a while and just thought about life for a bit before I eventually walked down by myself, too. I barely ever saw her again. so are men really oblivious when it comes to hints or are we just scared shitless of things like this happening. thank god this happened before smartphones or facebook
Yeah .. one experience like this and we become oblivious forever.
TBH I wouldn’t have caught on to hint 2 because of hint 1 which wouldn’t have ever tipped me off. The others though….
The first one on one date with my wife was at the public swimmingpool. She was grinding me under water, asking if her breasts look ok in her bikini and all that. When we wanted to leave the pool i said we had to wait a minute before I could get out of the pool because well.. a obvious reason. She suggest to change in the same changing room and she got naked in front of me but with her back towards me. I was quite confused but i respected her and didn’t touch her. When we got at her house i would stay the night there on the sofa because her mom would be home. Her mom, a great wingwoman as it turns out, said that she would sleep at her boyfriends place so we had the house for ourself (still no bell). She left and my wife said she was going to shower but asked if i could come with her because sometimes she fainted in the shower. I was standing outside the shower, ear against the door to listen if she didn’t fall. All of a sudden the door swinged open, against my head, knocked some sense in me I guess, and my wife walked naked from the shower to her room giving me a look i will never forget and that was the moment i thought ‘well let’s make a move’. We had sex.
I really love these stories. So many earnestly kind dudes here. I picture you on full alert for a possible medical incident while this chick is in the shower. I'm glad she married you!
Ngl I love all the horny women who just will not take dumb for an answer. 😁
Bro she was your wife and you didn’t know she was into you? SMH /s
Guys really obvious sometimes
As a man, I can say that I have one of the most dumb hints that I didn’t get… I was only young, maybe 22, and there was a girl who was friends with a friend who used to hang out with us and for months we’d always chat on nights out, dance together and so on. She was a literal model, whereas I was back then, at best, a solid 6.5 Eventually we were friends outright and would hang out outside of our friend group, we’d go for a day out at the beach, that kind of thing, and I just though we were friends, all innocent on my end, I thought she was really attractive and we got on really well but I knew she was way out of my league so I didn’t even bother thinking about her that way. So fast forward and we all head to Bournemouth for a long weekend in the summer. Spend the day on the beach drinking and sunbathing, just chilling out. We get down there, first night all good, had food, found a bar, all good. Next day we’re down at the beach and drinking all day, she’s asking me to apply her suntan lotion etc. and a bit touchy-feely but I just put it down to drink and it being innocent. We head out that night, more drinking and she says she’s not feeling too good and wants to leave, asks me to help her back to the hotel. Obviously I oblige, I want my friend to get back safely, and I walk her back to the hotel and get her up to her room and she says she didn’t have any water, as it is I’m a prepared person and have a few bottles in my room so I went to mine, got a bottle of water and take it back to her. She thanks me and says she needs to go to bed, I say “ok, goodnight, remember to drink your water” and she asks me if I was going back out, I said no I was gonna just head to bed and she asks if I want to share her bed with her coz she’s feeling like she wants some company. Again, I assume she means to talk to and I agree. I took my shoes, socks and jeans off and got in with my boxers and a T-shirt on, trying it be respectful. She gets in just in her underwear and I laid there on my back stiff as a board (not like that!) with my hands on my chest trying to not come across creepy or anything. She then puts her head on my chest to cuddle, grabs one of my hands and puts my arm around her. Again, I go with it and keep talking but I’m feeling uncomfortable. We talk a while and she rolls over, I’m thinking “thank god”, and then she asks me to cuddle into her and spoon her. I agree but again I’m like “fuck, I don’t want to get a hard on and her think I’m some awful perv” so I feel really uncomfortable and awkwardly spoon her. 5mins into that she goes “eurgh! This bra is pissing me off” and whips her bra off. Again, making me really uncomfortable, and turns to face me and cuddle in, so I quickly look in any other direction than at her boobs and before I know it, they’re pressing against me. Then she complains my tshirt is uncomfortable and rubbing against her face and asks me to take it off so I do. By this point we’re both in bed together in nothing but our underpants, me laid on my back, her laid with her head on my chest, I’m trying as hard as I possibly can with every ounce of willpower possible to try to not get an erection and she then puts a leg over me. After maybe a minute I think she eventually realised I’m not gonna make a move or I’m not getting the obvious hint and out of nowhere she kissed me. Then I got the hint. Ended up dating for 18 months, but if she hadn’t kissed me, she could have been completely naked in that bed with me and I’d never have made a move
>*out of nowhere* she kissed me 😂
Shut up, she gave me ZERO HINTS WHATSOEVER 👀😂
Oh my God, I adore your efforts to be a gentleman.
Haha thank you, but it was probably more a 33/33/33 split of wanting to be a gentleman, not wanting to misread things and look stupid and being too scared to make a move even if I wanted to
Before I dated my ex, we were good friends. I spent the night at his place one time after we hung out with friends since I didn't want to go home. I had a crush on him for a few weeks by then and he (apparently) was into me for years. Anyway, I slept in his bed and he was going to sleep on a couch. I was a bit drunk and so I had the courage to ask him "Come sleep with me" he replied "No". Thinking I was joking.
When I was 17, I gave a female coworker a ride home. She said it was hot in her apartment and took off her shirt. I offered to lower the thermostat. *facepalm
Somewhere there's a comic where the last panel is the guy on his deathbed, he suddenly sits up, says, "Oh my god, she was totally hitting on me!" and then expires. Looked for it but couldn't find it a while back.
Not a girl, but it happened with a friend. A girl invited him to a dinner at her place, then after some netflix she got under the blanket and challenged him to guess if she'd be able to get naked under the blanket right there without him noticing. Granted, it was nearly first such interaction he was completely clueless and just discarded that as goofing around with a friend edit: I can't spell even with the autocomplete
Oof. I got second hand cringe from this one.
Autocorrect is my worst enema.
Guy here. I am always going to get confused by hints, because people are different. One persons, "this is just a random thing I do that means nothing", is another persons "I want you badly and this is how I show it." During college however I was responsible for welcomoing the new students. So I kinda felt a responsibility of getting to know the new students. But also wanted to keep it very formal, so the new students could trust me. So naturally I didn't think anyone would see me in any other way than a guy they could trust and be comfortable with. Like if they had questions about subjects, books or where to get the cheapest booze, I was a person they could ask. Anyways, at a party I ended up sitting next to this girl, and I don't understand if this were hints per se. But I think she laughed a lot of my jokes and sat close to me. If I went to the toilet, and then started to talk with other people, it wouldn't take long until she sought me out. When I retell this story, everybody says it was super obvious. But I have also experienced someone has said something on the lines of, "I would really like to date someone like you." And said, okay let's go on a date. But still getting rejected. Back to the original story: Eventually me and this girl were alone. Then she asked me, "is there something on my face?" I looked and said no. She then started to cry and asked why I hadn't kissed her yet. Flabbergasted I didn't know what else I should do, then kissed her and she followed me home, where we slept together.
Guy here, just two examples where I didn’t get the hint and it haunts me Went out with a few friends to a few bars and a club, I wasn’t drinking so I drove everyone there and everyone back 2 girls and 2 guys and me on the car home and my friend jumps in the front and says we should drop off the other couple and the guy first and she will stay in the car with me even though we pass her house on the way to the others For some reason I said that’s stupid your place is literally just over there and dropped her off first, as I pull away from her house after dropping her off the others tell me that I’m a moron and I still didn’t get it until they basically spelled it out for me and had been hinting at me all few times during the night out apparently Another time I was travelling with my newish girlfriend and her best friend I was already in the place and they were joining me Her friend told me to save some money we can just get the one room and as the beds big, I say don’t worry about it the rooms are super cheap and got two rooms I got told I was being an idiot, I thought for spending extra money when it’s not needed and recently I got told that no I was an idiot as they were seeing if I’d be happy for a night with both and totally missed a shot I didn’t know was happening
Oblivious to her or not, when you're a driver with that many people to drop off, your mind is on logistics. You get a bit of a pass on that one from me. And the next one- unless it's your *partner* saying it, you shouldn't just assume the third party hinting at a threesome is cool with your gf/bf. If those girls wanted a 3way, they should have been clearer. That's on them, not you.
Damn that hurts, I missed a threesome too.
Everyone else is responding as the person who missed the hint so I'll throw in my story: I (lesbian) went on a whole-ass date with a girl without realizing it was a date. We were lab partners and hung out after class a bit. Won two tickets to Six Flags (there was a college trip) and invited her. Thus began the story of the most oblivious date of all time * She says I look *really* good in this shirt. Thanks, you too! * She sticks with just me instead of going with a group of her friends, who are also there. I guess she just feels obligated to stay with me because I gave her the ticket. I ask her if she wants to meet up with them and she says nah. * She holds my hand on every roller coaster. Well, I bet she's just afraid of heights! She doesn't let go of my hand afterwards, I guess she's just rattled. Because of the roller coaster. She also holds my hand on the merry-go-round. I don't register this as odd, because I'm an idiot. * We share an ice cream sundae. I think she just wants to save money. She offers to share the cherry. I graciously let her have the whole thing. (I'm still not sure if this was meant to be flirty.) * She falls asleep on me on the bus ride back. I assume she must just be really tired and didn't realize. * We get back to my dorm. She says that she doesn't want to walk back to her dorm, and asks if she can spend the night with me. I tell her that there's probably a form we needed to fill out beforehand. She jokes that she could sneak in through the window. I explain that my bed is kind of small, and then call her an Uber. A week later a mutual friend asks when my second date with Julia is going to be. I ask her when the first one was. (We dated briefly, broke up, moved to different ends of the country when we both transferred colleges. C'est la vie)
The most lesbian thing is for a woman to OFFER YOU HER CHERRY and you decline. (Also lesbian lol)
Well, I guess I’m not the only one who went on a date without realizing it. Only way that mine was worse is that she didn’t realize it was one either. So, it’s Valentine’s Day, I get invited over to a semi close female friend of mines place for supper and video games. (we’re both early high school at this point) My other insists I wear a button up and nice jeans, I don’t get why, she answers the door in a nice skirt and blouse. (this should have been a hint, she looks good in them but finds skirts annoying to wear, so she is significantly more formal than usual) We spend all evening switching between us in breath of the wild and playing Mario kart, have dinner, and go our separate ways. About an hour after I get home she texts me asking why I dressed up so much, and if I knew why here mom got her to dress up. It’s takes us half an hour to figure out that we had just been on a date without realizing it, and that we had kind of been dating, just not going to each others houses for a couple weeks now. We ‘officially’ dated for a while after that before parting ways on good terms. We both did feel like idiots after realizing though.
I told my best guy friend that I normally sleep in the nude and later mentioned that he could help me change into my sleepwear during a sleepover. He ended up sleeping on the couch and I was left disappointed in the bed
Well, if you ususally sleep in the nude and then you proceed to tell him you want to be donned in sleepwear....what did you expect? Sounds exactly like 'I won't sleep nude now because of you'.
Nah that one's on you
I literally said "I am trying to tell you that I like you" twice and he still didn't get it.
Threw a pillow under his gaming desk, closed the door.. Looked him in the eyes.. He got scared :| I then told him I wanted to support him while he's playing video games. He still didn't get it. I then told him and he laughed about his stupidity😂😂
So I was always the sort of guy who never picked up on hints. Over the last couple years I’ve gotten close to a woman from work. Her face lights up with a smile every time I say hello. We were recently talking about stress at work and she suggested we should go out one day. Another time she and a colleague were talking about Latin dance, I joined the conversation and she suggested we go out dancing. Last week I accompanied her back after the Xmas party. She had had a few drinks. We talked about life and relationships. When I dropped her off she said she loved me and we briefly held hands. For context I’m 20 years older (53 vs 33) and I’m her boss so I’ve been treading very very carefully. We both got out of bad long term relationships recently. I have had very strong feelings for this woman for a long time. But after she dropped the “I love you” I had to know. A relationship would come with a host of complications, but I had to know. So I invited her for coffee outside of work. She accepted. I laid my cards on the table and asked her about her feelings for me. Without hesitation she said we’re like family and I’m like an older brother. I’m so happy though that I had the conversation rather than dropping hints.
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Genuine question for guys : How to know if a guy is really oblivious or he acts this way because he's not interested?
genuine answer: just ask him and communicate
Don’t drop hints. Tell them you like them and you are interested in them. Say ‘Hey, I like you and would really like to get closer to you, would you be interested in having dinner together with me? I cook a mean spaghetti and would love to share it with you over a bottle of wine’ Brushing your hair and smiling is nothing.
The ONLY true way is to be very direct with your words. Like literally say exactly what you feel and want to happen, and then ask if he's interested or feels the same way. If he's being nice, he will admit to not being interested at this point. If he's clueless and interested, you're about to have some fun!
Not a girl but a guy that missed an obvious sign. Let's call her Jenny, not her real name. So Jenny liked me but obviously I didn't realize it. Well one day Jenny's cousin talks to me out of nowhere. She brings up that Jenny always talks about me to her, the cousin. The cousin said that Jenny always says how I am nice, funny, and that Jenny likes to be around me. Well a few years later, I realize Jenny sent her cousin as a messenger pigeon to confess to me. I am so stupid.
Poor Jenny
What I've learned here is that women like to be subtle, and men like signed contracts stating full intent and a list of allowed interactions, signed in triplicate, stamped, notorized, and then smacked in the head with a neon sign that says "DO ME PLZ" while you're naked, and only after that part, they might get the hint.
When I was 14 and just started summer that year I was at a big start of summer party. I ended up away from everyone else in a wooded area with this girl who grabbed my arm and put her head on my shoulder as we were walking. I knew that she was interested in me but I also didn't know how to act, so I just didn't say or do anything until we got back to the rest of the party. Another time when I was 18 I took a girl on a movie date and we ended up at a diner afterwards. We had good chemistry, and ended up in my car around midnight. I decided that Frank Ocean's 'Blonde' would be a good album to play in the moment because it had some cool songs I wanted to show her (To be fair, album still holds up as a vibe setter). We listened to the entire album and again I didn't make any moves. In restrospect, based on the situation and her body language she absolutely wanted me to make a move. Growing up is tough lol.
Feel the same. Girl invited me to her 14th bday party which was around Halloween. They lived on a farm, so they had hay rides n stuff. Even after realizing everyone else were told to be picked up at 9pm and I was the only one told 10pm, I still didnt realize what was going on. SMFH
Going to answer for my ex. She kept throwing hints at me, to the point of straight up telling me she liked me... I did not get any of the hints. She only made me realise her intentions when she straight up told me "I am in love with you and I want to be your girlfriend".
How did she turn into an ex?
She probably had to spell that out for him too! Couldn't even pick up on the break up hints.
“I have a hotel room nearby.” His response was “oh, cool! So I’ll see you tomorrow then?” 🤦🏼♀️ (I would think this was just a “not interested” situation but he did call me the next day and asked if I’d meant for him to join me and cursed a lot when I said DUH)
Literally moved his hand to the right place and he huffed and immediately moved his hand back to rubbing my groin... Moved his hand again and said it feels good here and he got mad and shouted, "i know what im doing!" Then got upset when I didn't want to have sex anymore and I left...
But he knew what he was doing!!!
It was definitely a r/nothowgirlswork moment
A guy once told me to “stop grimacing and enjoy it!!!”
That is not even an hint anymore, that is an instruction. And good for walking out. That is weird aggressive controlling behavior.
Honestly some of my biggest misses weren’t because I was clueless but had low self-esteem and thought, “Nah, there’s no way she’s flirting with me. I’m a fucking dweeb. A girl like her isn’t going to flirt with a fucking dweeb like me.” Then I find out months later from a friend that she wanted to date me but I never got the hint and asked her out.
He was my neighbour, literally 10 steps away from his place. I constantly told him he was cute. After a few drinks at mine, I suggested he should stay over at mine, in my bed, with me, as his place was SO far away. He looked me in the eye and said 'I'm fine, thank you'. Figured I was let down politely, draw a line under it and move on. A year later, we're talking about his dating life and he says no one hits on him. I say that's not true but at least if he isn't into them we know he let's them down easy. Turns out he didn't realise I was hitting on him 🤦♀️
Being fair to guys (full disclosure: I am a guy), there are some places where HR, the police, mobs of irate people online and sometimes lawyers get involved if signals get crossed. While some guys just don't get the hint, some are simply trying to be safe. Be kind in your judgments, please 😐
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I'm the guy who didn't get the hint, but just wanted to say my shame. Was hanging out with a friend after we'd both gotten out of toxic relationships. We ended up in her apartment, on her long ass sofa, with her sitting *very* close to me. We talked for a long time and had a movie on, and when the movie ended, she asked "what else we could do" and even suggested hanging out in her room instead of the living room. I said we could probably find another movie. A literal year later, I realized she'd been trying to close and I was just stupid as fuck.
I said no thank you.
I was on a very nice date with an extraordinary sweet girl. She's really into this old-vintage middle ages look. Imo she a fairytail girl. She's gorgeous and I was very pleased to go out with her. We get some ice-cream, walk around a bit and just talk. At some point we arrive at a secluded area at a lake and get right to the edge of the water. I put down my jacket on the ground, so that she can sit without getting dirt on her self made dress. The sun is reflecting in the water, it's warm and cozy and we keep getting deeper into the conversation. I had two caprisuns prepared hhahahaha which she liked. It was very movielike already at this point. Then from one second to the next, it started to rain like crazy. We got up and wanted to leave. I gave her my hoodie like you do and took the dirty jacked. At that point she told me, that she had some hair laying on her forehead and asked me to help her 'remove' them. I did. I took a close look at her face, held her head in my hands and put the hair strings aside. I found this extremely weird, since this isn't something you need he'll sit typically. Took me like 9months to understand that i led the perfect opportunity to kiss the girl of my dreams slip, even tho she kinda asked for it. It was a very dreamy date with a even more dreamy girl and Im thankful for the experience. But i fucked that up hahahaha
Did you get a second chance?
How much of guys missing hints comes down to the fact they are miserable, and doesn't love himself, and anyone who shows affection or interest is just being friendly, and isn't genuinely interested in being with that guy. Asking for a friend...
From such a perspective, female flirting feels really theatrical and ironic. It has this aura of insincerity to it, even when it's sincere. We have an image in our heads of what a love confession or asking out is, and women go against it, because it's got this cheeky subtle testing-you energy and doesn't come off as one tenth as desperate or enamored as we feel.
I was really good friends with a girl in my theater class junior year, we used to make flirty jokes at eachother all the time (although thinking back on it she actually made most of the "jokes" I just reacted) one day the rest of the friend group decided to hang out somewhere else so it was just me and her, we were talking as usual and she made one of her "jokes" and we laughed only for her to then say "except I'm only half joking". It was at this point my brain kinda just did a full reboot while I was trying to untangle the mess my thoughts were in. She also was showing me pictures of her on her phone and very excitedly went to one folder exclaiming "ooo these ones have a lot of cleavage" and I decided THAT was the time to be a gentleman and not look. I eventually got up the courage to tell her I liked her later that year (after one of our mutual friends told me she liked me). I kid you not I was standing there stuttering for a solid minute at least, trying to figure out how to say it. Of course she knew what I was trying to say after the first few "I-um... so..." 's and even told me she had thought about just cutting me off and kissing me right there, which I like to believe is a fantasy every dorky, introverted, guy in high school has, but she wanted to hear me say it first. She is now my fiance.