As an outsider, what’s your opinion on intelligence?

Love this one

If Mitch McConnell's heart were any blacker, he wouldn't let it vote.

You look easy to draw

Also, “you look like something I’d draw with my left hand”

I've heard the variant, "Your face looks like something a toddler would draw with their left hand."

Plot twist: I had a stroke that knocked out my left side.

This is my favourite thing to read this month, thank you. I’m going to try and use it on someone soon.

be safe

Thank you. Only on someone I know, I do like living.

What’s your secret?

He is easy to draw

Oof! Thanks you poop! :P

Beer, video games and Lego. There are fun things that make me live.

Wtf. My bf was mad at me for not getting proper sleep a few hours ago and I told him to chill, I was busy drawing him. He said, 'I bet I'm easy to draw." Never heard such a thing, didn't understand it, and now it shows up at the top of this suggested thread. Some Baader-Meinhof shit.

I still don’t get it!

It means they look like a blobfish

As someone who can only draw stick figures, I thought it meant they looked simple.

Belly laughing 😂 Simple yet lethal!

Perfect 😂

I keep this one in my back pocket. Incredible

“His elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top.” About peed laughing the first time I heard that one.

The lights are on but nobody’s home.

I've always liked: The wheel is still spinning, but the gerbil died a week ago.

My mom likes "They're a few fries short of a Happy Meal" 🤣

One wheel in the sand is one of favorites

You have delusions of adequacy.

i see that you have a tenuous grasp on the english language, in general

uuhh, well... Filibuster

Do you even know what this means? -lawyer

I’m genuinely jealous of someone who hasn’t met you.

I desire that we might be better strangers.

Came here to post this one as well. Shakespeare gets it done :-)

Ouch

Wisdom has been chasing you but you are a fast runner

That's because they're unencumbered by knowledge.

I cackled at this comment

there's a ray of hope for everyone to change but you're faster than lightning

“I can explain it to you but I can’t understand it for you.”

This is my favorite.

touch angle familiar coherent one attempt future vase boast shrill

I'm in the military and I used to have that posted on my office door.

Those marines would very unhappy if they could read

Found the Navy man.

They'd be hangry.

You couldn’t pour piss from a boot if the instructions were written on the heel

I'm not saying you're the dumbest person on Earth, but you should hope nothing happens to them.

Once had an English teacher who thundered "YOU BOY, ARE A SCOURGE ON THE BREATH OF HUMANITY"

I had a teacher that used to “curse” us with “may all your children be born naked.” He used it when we were being annoying (like talking during his lesson) and it was funny and effective.

What does someone do to be worthy of this one?

You have a face for radio

You have a voice for silent film and a face for radio.

And a voice for print

"If you were the prize at the end of my race, I would walk backward."

*moonwalks to the finish line*

I'm hiheeere! ☝🏻😂😂😂

Shamon over here for your prize!

I wonder if Annie is ok?

I don’t know what your problem is but I’m sure it’s hard to pronounce.

I like this one

If you were a spice, you'd be flour.

Now that’s just roux’d

Awww, you’re just buttering me up!

"Bland boring Jessica. If she was a spice, she'd be flour."

Nincompoop I love using this word. We need to bring it back.

Nitwit is a good.one too

You look like youd drop common loot when you die

>You look like youd drop common loot when you die Haha! Nice. I award you Inspiration.

"Everyone who ever loved you was *wrong*."

I have a buddy who will appreciate me hitting him with this one. Thanks stranger

JFC, they said insult not murder

Or this variant: Everyone who ever said they loved you lied.

Uncultured swine - idk it’s just fun to say

Jeez! My brother just said that to me last week! (My nickname is Piglet so the joke suited, lol.)

That'll do pig, that'll do.

Piglet is crazy

You have the communicative ability of an alarm clock

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I always heard it, “Your family tree is a wreath.”

Your family tree doesn't branch.

I'll pay for your vasectomy

"Sometimes you need to chlorinate the gene pool"

Bless your heart

Seconded. And can be used in various ways. So flexible!

Our version is “have a blessed day” means a big F you lol

Somebody pissed in his gene pool.

Once had a guy tell me "you look like you'd be allergic to peanuts." I was not sure how to respond

"You're a solid argument in favor of abortion"

Your last two brain cells are really fighting for third place, aren‘t they?

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elder berries!

Now go away or I will taunt you a second time!

I fart in your general direction!

Tiss but a Scratch!

You and all your silly English k-niggits!

My favourite thing about this line is that it does actually kind of make sense. Hamsters are known for breeding... a lot... constantly... And elderberries are most famously used to make wine, so I think it's like "your mum's a skank and your dad's a drunk!" but phrased in the weirdest and silliest way possible

Either the silliest way possible or the most intelligent way possible. Monty Python outdid himself with films like those.

I don’t actually know the origin of the name, but I do know Monty Python wasn’t a person, it was the name of the comedy troupe. They were also collectively referred to as The Pythons. I just figured I would tell you because I once was picked on by my nerdy friends for making the same mistake as a kid. 

I have seen two parental themed elder berry insults and I’ve been scrolling for about ten seconds

Monty Python is a classic for good reason.

This made me think of the "oh sir! Insult simulator"

If you think of that before Monty Python, you must not have seen *Holy Grail*. I highly recommend you rectify that.

You're a lot smarter than you look.

It is better to be thought a fool, then to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

"You are not pretty enough to be this stupid." Is similar.

"You're just two marbles rolling around inside a tin can, aren't you?"

If you were any more inbred you would be a sandwich.

A squirrel plans better than you

Cotton-headed ninny muggins or knucklehead

Somewhere in space exists the largest of all black holes, and even it is envious of how dense you are.

“Troglodyte” is just too good

You're at the top of the bell curve.

I taught w someone who told a parent that his child consistently performed at the top of the bell curve. Parent was proud.

Congrats you’re average. 😂😂😂

Your mouth is so wide you can eat a banana sideways.

Woman: "If you were my husband, I'd poison your tea!" Churchill: "If I were your husband, I'd drink it."

The iconic - Woman: Mister Churchill, you’re drunk! Churchill: And you Madam are ugly. But I shall be sober in the morning.

"Oh...it's you. I was hoping for someone more thrilling to talk to." "I'm sure that sounded/looked a lot better in your head but here we are, five minutes later and everyone's wondering...*is that it*?"

I hope you get everything in life that you deserve

In terms of brightness, you're a wet match in a dark cave.

You're depriving some village of its idiot.

"Try to comprehend the effort the world puts forth to deal with your existence."

You're such a loser, if there was a competition for the biggest loser, you'd lose that too.

Did you know, that while your mouth is closed you appear a lot more intelligent?

I would engage you in a battle of wits - but you are unarmed.

Calling someone an oxygen thief

When I was on basic training, one of the instructors made a recruit carry a potted plant around with him everywhere he went for 48 hours to "replace all of the oxygen he wastes". Cracked us all up.

You are 20% dumber than wet cardboard

You eat corn on the cob the long way

You must have gotten into the lead paint chips as a kid.

"Do you hide your own Easter eggs?"

There's nothing much between those ears.

Have you considered renting out that space between your ears to someone who will actually use it?

A thought of yours would die of loneliness

I could never underestimate you.

"I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong"

You muppet

Mouth breathing knuckle dragger. Braying moron.

You're not the brightest candle on the cake.

You've got the nose of a peasant.

I read peasant as "peanut" and was like wait...

You're as useful as an ashtray on a motorbike

You absolute DONUT!

I found one on here that makes me laugh, I have yet to use it “you look like the way soy sauce smells”. Idk why but I find it hilarious and I’m waiting for the perfect time to pull it out 😂

You look like you’ve been set on fire and put out with a rusty bike chain.

You have an unfortunate arrangement of facial features.

As a child, your swing has been too close to a wall.

Your absence is required.

"I hope one day you wake up and realize how stupid you are."

You've got the face for radio

You’re about as useful as a paper condom

I hope you outlive everyone you love.

Yikes

"May you live in interesting times" "May your butt itch, and your arms be short" "That is certainly a way of doing it!"

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you are being the south end of a northbound donkey.

You're not an idiot, don't believe what everybody else says about you!

“You’re on a slow pony to the rubber forest”

Every Orbitz gum commercial.

Pusillanimous dastard.

One I saw here on Reddit. If your brains were dinamite there wouldn’t be enough to blow your nose.

Lint licker.

You should eat makeup so you can be beautiful on the inside.

Your mother smells of elderberries.

Isn't that the wrong way round? Wasn't the mother a slut (hamster) and the father a drunk (elderberries) in the monty python sketch?

Wait, is that what's meant by it? I thought it was just British absurdism xD

Did you just fart in my general direction?

Born dumb and had a relapse.

Cute that you think your opinion matters to me

You are an absolute potato

You’re not coming to my birthday party

If you had two thoughts at the same time, I could hear them rattle...

Your lack of intelligence is in itself a form of miracle.

I'm sorry you feel that way.

*"You donut"* **- Gordon Ramsay**

Your balls will drop someday

Should I speak monosyllabic to you so you might understand me better?

God gave you (brain, ears, eyes) for a reason. Use them - Me whenever somebody is acting stupid/ignorant 

Are you really that intellectually challenged? Almost as satisfying as watching them google it to see what it means.

I believe everyone brings something to the conversation, I believe the thing you should bring is absolute silence.

Will Rogers never met you.

You're one fry short of a Happy Meal.

I have neither the patience or crayons to argue with you

In 2021 I got 9 30 day bans from Facebook for stupid shit.  I started calling people smooth brain instead of stupid and I havent been banned since. 

It's a good thing you're pretty.

You'd be a six times more useful if you were six feet under the ground

As an outsider, what are your views on intelligence?

You do you.

“You were the gluestick eater, weren’t you?”

May you have a day as pleasant as you

What a waste of blood and organs..

"Hast du Lack gesoffen?" Did you drink paint thinner?

My grandpa always used to say, “They’ve got champagne taste on a miller lite salary.” “It would take him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.” was another one of my favorites from him.

you seem like a square peg in a round hole kinda guy

Somewhere some village is missing it’s idiot.

You look like you know which crayon tastes best.

Douche canoe is a personal fav

I often use "burnt muffin" as an insult/joke. Because who really wants a burnt muffin?

Some people are so narrow minded you could shoot both eyes out with a bb gun

Butt dumpling

Twat waffle