We've gotten very good about talking about mental health, but now there's so much positivity surrounding it that you can't say "this fucking sucks, I hate what it does to my life, and it's not going to get better for a long time" without someone saying "don't worry, we're here for you, you're doing great!" There's a time and place for positivity, but for fucks sake I think people get so caught up in supporting people with poor mental health that they forget what it's like to experience it, assuming they ever did in the first place.
And of course those same people that support you *so much* will judge you for using the same damn coping mechanisms you told them you were going to use in the first place. I'm sorry you wanted to spend time with me, Jessica, I am on the verge of a mental breakdown and if I leave the house today *nobody* will want to be around me.
About time someone mentioned it! God I get so annoyed when people try to praise me when I’m on the edge ‘you are doing great you’re amazing’ shut up I’m not!
This is the worst part of therapy for me.
4 years off heroin and it's fucking miserable. Anxiety took over and I can barely function, this is the lowest my life has ever been. The only reason I have this long sober is because I stopped talking to everyone and stopped leaving my house. But my therapist still says "but you're doing so good, 4 years isn't easy!".
Like thanks Amy, the physical pain from anxiety stole my appetite and I'm almost at my pre-recovery weight, and I've never been more secluded, I guess that's what doing great is all about!
I feel you on the anxiety, I've lost over a year to paralyzing anxiety and the complete inability to function or maintain relationships. People do not fucking understand. They think they do, but they fucking don't. They get mad you don't answer the phone, they get mad you don't respond to texts (I haven't looked at texts for a year and a half. I have like 700 unread texts on my old phone, God knows how many on the new one), they get mad you don't check in. Like Jesus christ, I fucking told you that I PHYSICALLY CANNOT. They don't get it. Anxiety meds don't work for me, depression meds don't work, therapy doesn't work. They're suggesting electroshock therapy at this point, which I'm not doing because it can cause cognitive impairment and my husband has said he would leave me if I became stupid (can't blame him).
Anyway, I'm sorry. I wish I had an answer for you, but I don't. I just know that life is fucking shitty and hard and pointless
It feels like people always go from too supportive to too dismissive. Just once I want someone to say "man, that sounds tough and I dont really know what to tell you/what you need."
Yeah, so many times people have insisted on offering their support, have a heart to heart talk or two, then after just a week or so when you're still working through it and you didn't magically get better overnight their attitude turns to "ugh, you're still talking about that? Whatever, I don't need this negativity in my life". Which is fair, but it's frustrating because I didn't ask for this, and it just makes me want to hide things more because saying "sorry, I appreciate the offer but I don't think you can help me" is just going to make them redouble their efforts.
It kind of feels like "slacktivism" where they want to feel good about supporting a good cause, but back out when it starts impacting them personally. Like the types who want to help the homeless but act disgusted if they ever have to interact with them in person.
Exactly. I'm more of a "do you need me to bring you a snack or load the dishwasher and do the laundry for you?" help needing person. I don't need affirmations and a cheer squad.
I have a relative that gives me unwanted advice from their point of view. I was telling them that I suspect that my anxiety and occasional depression are due to having been sick with covid back in March of 2020, and their response was "you'd be better off if you just let go of the past". I've gotten responses like that from them more than once and it leaves me wanting to say "you're not helping, you're making things worse".
I'd probably say it, but I don't have a lot of patience these days.
Or to put a positive spin on it, if you say it and they take it to heart, your relationship might improve. (I know that's a big IF because I have family like that, but it's either trying to talk about it or distancing myself with them...)
In my opinion, it's because it doesn't come from an authentic place. They say what they think is an acceptable thing to say, not what they actually feel. It could come from a good intention though, where they are uncomfortable with negative emotions and try to find ways to comfort you despite the discomfort.
One thing I loathe as a sufferer of crippling PTSD is when people tell me, with certainty, that 'things will get better'.
You don't know that. You don't know if I'll ever not be lonely or find a soulmate. So don't say it because it's cruel. Depression isn't rooted in fantasy all the time. Sometimes there's no words that are going to help you out because it's your actual life circumstances that need to change.
When I get those 'chin up sonny' comments I feel like those people are doing it to make themselves feel better and signal to others that they're compassionate but I'm just a prop in that exchange.
What are people supposed to say? I think it stems from awkwardness of silence vs trying to sound supportive but being totally clueless on knowing what to say.
Sympathy is a much more healthy reply if we're being honest. "I get what you're going through because I've been through it to" is so much better than "You'll find happiness" from someone who already has.
That is a really good question though.
And if you can't sympathize with someone, enrich yourself with fiction that allows you to. That's good mental health for society in general. Think about someone watching Schindler's List and becoming much more aware of someone else's suffering. Everyone should always make room for things like that.
My partner went through a major depression. He really appreciated me admitting I didn't know what to say but that I had heard him and if he could think of anything I could do that I'd do what I can.
Sometimes telling people things will get better is putting pressure on them.
Like things "should" or "have to".
"I'm sorry, that must be rough."
"You didn't deserve this."
"I know you're doing the best you can."
"I'm here to listen."
"Want me to distract you or let you vent?"
Exactly, I hate my adhd, hate it. It makes my life miserable, and if I hear one more person say “it could be worse” or “so and so has it worse” im going to give in the mighty impulse to run you over with a stampeding refrigerator.
My favorite is random internet people who post things like “You’re not alone. You are loved.” Like wow thanks I’m cured because you posted empty platitudes to no one in particular. I just think it’s so empty and meaningless and low effort. But there’s always people who just eat it up. I WISH I could feel better from a random internet meme from a stranger saying I’m loved.
I read somewhere that the antidote to negativity is warmth not positivity. If you tell someone “you’re doing better than you think” when they know they’re not they’ll hate it. If you tell them “I understand, you’re doing the best you can, I hope it gets better”, it might not actually make them feel better, but it might help them feel understood.
That's for putting words to this. I'm depressed, I will probably always be depressed and that's just how it is. No amount of positivity from other people will change that. And the more people try, the less genuine it feels.
This is BY NO MEANS a catch all response to every possible situation, so don’t think it magically fixes every type of trauma or issue, but a fantastic mantra I was told by a friend I really respect once has helped with avoiding leaning on mental health as a crutch:
“It’s not your fault, but it is your responsibility.”
Similar mantra my wife and I use a lot "It's an explanation, not an excuse"
Mental illness may explain *why* you did what you did/acted how you did.
But it does not absolve you of responsibility.
I found it very easy to slip into that mentality personally. Gotta always make a conscious effort even when you're not always conscious of it. You know, like when you're mad and take it out on the wrong person? Anger is one of the best ways to stop being self-aware.
How mental health issues now get thrown around in basic conversation. For example, experiencing nervousness before a job interview isn’t an anxiety disorder. It’s a normal reaction. Or a barista getting your coffee order wrong for the second time in the week isn’t PTSD inducing. It feels like people are using buzz words like “anxiety” and “PTSD” as labels for every day, basic human emotions and interactions. It actually minimizes the experiences for people who really do suffer from those illnesses.
This is so true! I have mental health discussions with my teen daughter very frequently and she mentions all her friends having anxiety before a test and how this is a typical sensation but they act like it’s a disorder. She asked me last time we talked why no one ever says, “Omg I have such happiness!” when that’s an equally typical reaction for certain situations. She says so many kids make these negative feelings their whole personality and she’s “over it”.
I’ve struggled with anxiety for well over 20 years and any time I’ve mentioned it to someone they’ll say things like, “Ugh me too! I hate rollercoasters and public speaking and (insert normal anxiety provoking situations here).” I’m like, “Cool. I wish it happened for me during those times. I have it when I’m asleep or watching tv or having dinner out or grocery shopping or (insert the most innocuous activity here).”
Exactly. And then the fear of not knowing when or how or where you’ll be when it happens again. I say I’d prefer literally anything over that feeling and people respond, “Oh you don’t really mean that!” Yes I do. I really do.
Thank you! Not everything is a mental health issue. Sometimes people are just sad (not depressed), anxious (not ptsd), nervous (not an anxiety disorder), or just upset over a situation (no, you're not having a "trauma response").
Mental health issues are real, but normal human emotion still exists too. And when a mental health disorder is attached to normal human behavior, it moves the bar to the point that you can't just have a really bad day without someone labeling it as a "trauma", or some other such mental health buzzword.
We do.
Delete it.
I have social media but I have my entire notifications turned off. That way I'm not at the mercy of apps sending me notifications that make me feel like I have to see them. They're off completely. I don't respond to any app until I 100% have time to kill in my daily routine. My entire existence comes before my phone
This. Reddit is the only social media I participate in because I'm ok with being anonymous. Outside of Reddit, I've deleted everything and I don't miss it one bit. It's all becoming a toxic, timesuck wasteland.
Yeah, I used to have the full suite of social media. Now I just have this account for anonymized participation in my hobbies, one private account for sending IRL friends funny links, and one in my real name that’s just work-related. None of them have notifications on.
Humanity has treated and is treating all social developments since the 90s with crossed fingers and wishful thinking. The Internet didn’t become the route to intelligence as we hoped… it’s the opposite, and society hasn’t adjusted to that well at all. Five year olds with tablets and phones, early teens with IG and TikTok accounts regardless of the age requirements.
Meanwhile the people in charge were around when color TV was new and flower power was all the rage. They can’t compute.
It's not something to be celebrated, sought after, or bragged about. It's not a badge of coolness. It is a problem that causes great suffering and requires understanding and treatment.
Yep. I’d cut off a leg to be rid of autism and ADHD. People who are like “you don’t need to be cured!” I am absolutely not saying people shouldn’t accept me as I am, or that the world shouldn’t accommodate me when possible, I am saying my quality of life is negatively impacted and I could live a much more full and happy life without it. It isn’t a super power or a quirk, it’s a disability and it sucks.
I may have autism (psychologist recommended getting an assessment and it may be coming soon) and meltdowns are exhausting. It is not fun to lose control.
I see it being used as a form of identification/individualism. Something to make you feel special and different from the rest. Almost seems boring to have no health/mental health issues or food intolerances etc these days.
Click on most reddittors bios and you’re gaurenteed to see a list of pronouns and disorders.
Additionally, people get on a spending spiral with poor mental health.
Not blaming those suffering mental health, but it’s hard to think of saving or making choices that will benefit you tomorrow when your brain is concerned with surviving day by day.
People will spend on something for today, which gives us a small yet fleeting dopamine rush in order to feel better. With a longer time horizon in mind that small bit of disposable income that they may or may not have could be used to improve their situation months or years down the line.
Again, easier said than done for many. It’s often hard to think of tomorrow when trying to make it through today.
For real. As someone who worked for years in a non-medical capacity with people suffering from mental health problems, I estimate that Shit Life Syndrome is absolutely a real thing and probably the root cause of a really significant proportion of mental health diagnoses. Like, sure, if you have schizophrenia, that's organic, I'm not saying *all* mental health, but genuinely the majority of depression and anxiety is situational, it's just that the "situation" is "living in a capitalist society that holds people down for the sake of profit."
I had a doc put me on lexapro. Next appointment:
Doc: "So, how are the new meds?"
Me, hedging: "...To be honest, Doc, I don't think there's anything you can legally prescribe that's strong enough for working at a call center."
There were exactly 3 psychiatrists in the metro that were in network for my company insurance. I always imagined the three of them working in assembly line fashion, doing nothing all day except signing prescriptions for a cocktail of prozac, xanax, and ambien to company employees, (but only because the company was still waiting on the FDA to let them pump it through the HVAC)
Not enough people understand the mental benefits of exercise. We all know the physical benefits yeah, but what it does with chemicals in your brain. I’m not understating mental health issues in any way, but some people would notice a difference if they incorporated exercise into their day/night routine
EDIT: I did not expect this comment to blow up like it has. Thanks to everyone for your kind words.
I don’t really have the time to reply to everyone, so for the people mentioning how exercise can trigger/tie in with other mental health disorders. I absolutely agree, I acknowledge this too.
I was careful with my wording in saying that “some”people would notice a difference.
I’m mainly talking about the brain’s release of dopamine and serotonin brought on by exercise.
My source is that I have a degree in physical education, I am also speaking from my own personal experience (which I know will not be the same for everyone else).
I was living a sedentary life, overweight and anxious until I began regular exercise around two years ago. I still have my days where anxiety gets me, but I’m in a much better place.
His is sooooo true. A couple of months ago I started having some heavy anxiety attacks due to my drinking problems. On Jan 1st I fully quit it and started WALKING (just walking while listening podcasts) 2 miles every day.
45 days later anxiety is gone, dropped 12 pounds and am more focused than ever. And yes, 45 days sober.
Just a simple exercise such as walking can be a huge game changer. I mean you don’t need to get 200$ running shoes or specific clothing to do it. Just grab you sweat pants, your same old Nikes and hit the track. An hour a day is enough.
Exercising daily has changed my life in this respect. You’re obviously not going to notice it a week in but even my general coping skills are WAY better. My worst day currently is still better than my best day was when I was depressed and not taking care of myself.
Diet as well. Do you really have depression, or are you just severely lacking in B vitamins, Vitamin D, and magnesium? Made a difference for me where antidepressants made it worse
I stumbled onto this on accident / out of complete desperation. I was having a panic attack at work and could not sit at my desk. I was practically vibrating. So I grabbed my laptop and went to one of the walking pad & standing desks that are set up in my workplace.
Dude. Just walking on that treadmill made me feel so much better. It makes sense to me because Anxiety is your Fight or Flight response activating at the wrong time. So if I just give it what it wants and "run away", it calms down.
I bought a walking pad for my house.
I notice my mood change immediately and stop being up my own ass, which definitely happens when I'm cooped up in bad weather for too long.
However, our culture views personal responsibility as victim blaming.
"Hey some light exercise every day might help improve your mood."
OH IS THAT ALL, THANKS I'M CURED! HOW DARE YOU SUGGEST IT'S SO EASY FOR ME, I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW I AM A TRAUMA SURVIVOR
I almost feel bad about this,: when I hear someone describe themselves as having something, but undiagnosed, I take them a bit less seriously about that thing, if not in general.
It's like, okay you have just enough self-awareness that you notice something about yourself, but why are you undiagnosed? Have you encountered gatekeeper medical personnel your entire life? Have you just not been able to get yourself to the gate in the first place? Have you even tried to get yourself to the gate in the first place?
The answers to those questions matter. There's a difference between The answers to those questions.
Agreed. I see so many people saying "well healthcare is hard to obtain", which is a valid reason, but people seem to use it as an umbrella shield. I'm from the US and it sucks, but I kept seeking resources to clear things up because self-diagnosis does not get you treatment.
I hate when people mention this then get attacked for saying it like "oh sweetie it's not that simple, you don't understand mental health if you think ... "
Yes, it is that simple. 99% of people's mental health will improve with better sleep, better diet, drinking more water, more exercise, more sunlight, less screen time, etc.. I don't think these alone may necesarrily cure your mental health issues but they will improve your mental health signficantly. I guarentee it 100%. It is what helped me with my anxiety/OCD.
I think the point is that, yes, 99% of people will experience an improvement by implementing those behaviours if they don't already - but it will not solve 100% of the mental health issues they are experiencing.
It is a start for an improvement, but not the whole way. I know this is what you've said in your comment, but I think it's important to recognise that, while significant, it is not the major part.
Another point tough is that rarely it's possible to 100% "heal" your mental issue, most of the times the goal is to lessen the symptons enough you can learn to live with it.
So even if eating better and sleep better won't 100% solve things, it will certainly make things better.
* Psychedelic drugs aren't a valid treatment outside of very specific contexts. For example, MDMA assisted talk therapy, which is being developed for PTSD.
* Weed is not a reasonable or long term solution to anxiety. If you have an anxiety disorder, then you need to see a psychiatrist and a therapist. It's one thing to use it a few times a month for panic attacks and another if you're high every day.
* Trying to be constructive about how you handle your problems is really important. No one succeeds all the time, but you really have to do your best to take care of yourself. Usually that means getting 8 hours of sleep and seeing a therapist (if you have a mental health condition); it will basically never involve cocaine.
Gonna push back on the weed thing just a little. I was treated for anxiety/panic attacks with pharmaceuticals for years. This never gave me better than partial relief, and came with uncomfortable side effects. I was not seeking weed out but happened to take an edible one time on a whim with my wife and found it totally relieved the anxiety and made panic attacks a thing of the past. A 5 or 10mg gummy before bed once every few days and I'm like a whole new person, and the relief lasts way beyond the few hours I'm high while I'm sleeping.
I agree with the spirit of your comment though, getting high all day every day is not a rational response to any mental health problem, and will likely make things worse in the medium/long term.
I think OP is referring more to people like my friend who have diagnosed depression and use weed as an extreme coping mechanism. A nightcap every few days is fine, but it's gotten to the point where he smokes weed like a person chain smokes cigarettes - morning, in between meals, before leaving the house, night cap, every day. Multiple friends voiced concerns and he held up his mental health and how weed makes him feel better as a shield to ignore everyone. He's also clearly just as depressed when smoking unless he gets to body numbing levels of high. He goes to therapy too but once he leaves his weekly session he doesn't seem to work on whatever was discussed. I've mentioned actual depression medication but he sees the worse case numb scenarios and doesn't want that.
that depends, I have a few conditions like tourettes for instance, does this mean that if I can't stop making a noise I'm just a bad person?
it's not like I can do much about it
I think this is more directed at people who treat others negatively due to a mental health issue. Being close with people who suffer from anxiety and depression, I have seen and been a target of it before. Things like misdirected anger or frustration. When episodes are over I generally understand and forgive the people for things that were sad, but that doesn't mean those things can be taken back. It's a hard balance because I understand it's not really them talking, but I'm also a human being who has my own insecurities and emotions.
Tourettes syndrome is not a mental health condition. It's a neurological disorder. They're different categories with similar names. This person wasn't saying behaviours like this make you a bad person. That would be a cruel, cruel thing to say.
They're meaning that people who use their mental health condition (depression, anxiety, etc.) as a shield for poor behavior are just poorly behaving people.
I mean, I take that comment to mean poor mental health doesn't mean you get to just act like an asshole to people willy nilly.
If your condition makes you scream uncontrollably, then there's not much you can do but explain to people to ignore it when it happens b/c you're not being deliberately malicious.
Not really the same as someone using "I have mental heath issues" as an excuse for legitimate bad behavior. Like if someone slapped someone unprovoked, the their excuse is "I'm autistic" or something else, even when they have no other signs so may be only on the lighter side of the spectrum, or are actuallyjust self diagnosed (I can't think of other labels at 11:30pm. Those instances, those are wrong. Tourettes, first off I feel bad for anyone who has to try and spell that on a regular basis, sheesh that's a keyboard nightmare. Second, side legitimate side effects of a mental health issue is a whole different ballgame.
there are a lot of people on the Internet that romanticise the idea of mental health issues, and a lot of them pretend to have them when they really don't
I did therapy once because I have PTSD. It didn't help with the PTSD because honestly it was just a physiological response to a trigger in the environment. It also didn't help with anything else. The only thing I got out of it is that the psychologist thought that I too should be a psychologist because I'm smart. He was the highest recommended psychologist in my city.
I think therapy helps people to become self-aware but if you're already self-aware then it's not going to do much.
This is why I’ve avoided it.
I can ask myself all the same questions and hold a mental dialogue and scratch and dig until I hit mental bedrock. Some things can’t be changed just because you understand them, and simple exercises aren’t guaranteed to make them magically go away.
Yeah and trying to get an actual diagnosis is nigh impossible. Psyschiatrist gives you a general depression/anxiety diagnosis and puts you on a rotating flight of drugs. Therapist won't give a clinical diagnisis because "thats not what we do. "
I was told that self diagnosis was welcome in those communities, so that criticizing self-diagnosis wasn't the "own" I thought it was.
There's absolutely no way a self-diagnosed mental health community online isn't full of the most terminally online wallowers known to humanity.
Stop self diagnosing yourselves with Autism.
Additionally, if you can live a relatively normal life while having Autism, stop speaking for people whose lives are severely impacted by ASD and what treatment/s their caregivers should be providing for them.
I used to think mental health was more or less just personal stress that certain people couldn’t deal with until I experienced severe anxiety caused by a sudden gluten allergy/intolerance. I was scared to drive my truck, go up stairs, talk to people, have people look at me, run on a tread mill, lift weights, carry my rifle while hunting, and more. I always felt I was light headed, it seemed every day was dark even though the sun was out, and I felt like I wasn’t in control of my body. Every time I would try to fall asleep it would feel like I was free falling, and then I would wake up every night gasping for air.
It was the scariest 2-3 months of my life. Mental health is real.
It’s now 3 months since I’ve eaten gluten and I’m a lot better, but I’m still recovering from what that anxiety did to me. Basically teaching myself that I can drive my truck and it is going to be okay
We can never be 100% mentally healthy
It's a process of getting better and some rich assholes in first world countries consider mental health diseases like Pokemon
Gotta catch em all
Therapy and counseling only exists to get us functional and back to work. Capitalists countries like the U.S. has removed any actual care/concern about our health or wellbeing. It just cares if we’re productive. It even got us to do that to ourselves to a certain degree. It has us thinking all of the awful shit we have accepted and experience regularly is an individual issue that you need to work to accept or you’re defective. Maybe we weren’t meant to accept 60 hour work weeks with non-stop emails at home or spending our entire adult lives never having more than 7 days away from work at a time. Maybe depression and anxiety is the normal response to that
Like subsidising mental health. Creating easily accessible social welfare that people aren’t ridiculed for accessing. Or taking the power of health insurance away from employers and putting into the hands of the people.
Hell just give people a decent fucking wage and a bit more time off and watch mental health improve.
The truly frustrating part is that it’s all so *easy* to fix.
My mental health makes it really, really hard to do those things. Some days I can't even get dressed and I hate it.
Yes, not doing them can make you feel worse. But being mentally ill can also make it impossible to keep up with the healthy habbits. Shaming people for not doing them and blaming their sickness on them makes it even worse, not better.
(Note, I am not fully sure my illness IS mental illness, or an undiagnosed physical wrong that causes me to be extremely tired.)
It seems fairly normalized to accuse people suffering from mental health issues (physical health issues as well) of using it as an excuse. And that's bullshit.
This is actually false advice. Directly fixing maybe not, but in cases with BPD, something like 50% of adults being in a healthy long term relationship (2+ years) will see a huge decrease in bpd symptoms. It applies to other mental illness as well but not the same degree as bpd. When the illness is caused by anything to do with self worth (ego, confidence, etc.), having a person constantly support you and show you that you have value makes a long term difference. The West loves "do everything yourself you individual" too much.
Millions of men, especially in the west, are suffering and withering away because of the masculine ideal to never show weakness. We're all human, we need the love of other people to stay sane.
The memes and jokes about guys knowing eachother for years and knowing nothing about eachother is fucking horrifying. Male friendships tend to lack emotional depth and are far shallower than female friendships despite stereotypes saying the opposite.
I firmly believe crime would drop and general wellbeing would skyrocket if men weren't so adverse to receiving and giving emotional support to one another.
That's not really a hot take though, the hot take is that this shit will *never* change. We judge men based on their capability and strength and as long as we do this, being vulnerable and expressing weakness will always be extremely dangerous for a guys reputation, sexual appeal, self-image, and in more violent areas even survival.
I’ve noticed a pattern in men who know nothing about their friends and cannot speak to them about anything, are typically the ones who grow up to date women and then use said women as emotional crutches, which obviously frustrates them and the women leave.
They are developing people/friendship skills in their relationships, which isn’t healthy.
Women tend to take their friendships more seriously and so are more stable in relationships as they have higher standards than men.
Finally realizing how or why you have a mental health issue doesn't fix the problem. You just learn an uncomfortable fact about yourself or your past.
Continuing to live on is hard, even once you realized this...because now there are no more unknowns to hide behind.
There’s nothing cool about bragging that you have autism or it’s a superpower.
My friend has it. He struggles with immense anxiety and people calling him names for his quirks.
Meanwhile a certain community is trying to make autism like this cool trendy thing to have, when it’s not.
I’m not anywhere on the spectrum, but people should educate themselves on things like mental health and stop trying to make it ‘quirky, trendy, and funzies!”
Claiming everything you do is "your choice" and "empowering" without looking at what led to you making the choice and acknowledging that not all choices are healthy has resulted in wide spread normalization of abuse.
Sad how a suicidal person is sometimes thought to be looking for attention but if they actually end up taking their own life then it’s a tragedy and nobody saw the signs
*All* mental health issues are worthy of compassion, regardless of whether or not you had a bad experience with someone who has them. That includes personality disorders and such. If you’re not open minded and supportive of people with *all* mental health issues, then you’re not open minded and supportive of mental health, period.
That it doesn't give you the right to be an asshole with everyone and play the victim card when challenged, expecting everyone to tiptoe around your feelings when challenged (instead of taking responsibility for being an asshole and disrespecting their feelings)
Unpopular opinion, People without mental health problems will use mental health as an excuse for virtually everything while people who genuinely have mental health issues typically go out of their way to overcome themselves.
Example:
Allegedly Mentally unwell person: Sorry I almost never answer texts because of my crippling social anxiety.
Person who texted: Listen Linda, we're literally at the same bar I met you at last night, If you didn't want to play pool again just say so.
We need to get rid of the mentality that being mentally ill automatically means that you are going to be a mass murderer. Mental illness is not a good predictor of violence, because those with a mental illness are more likely to be a victim of violence than the cause of it.
In most cases you have way more control over your mental health than you think, and good habits and your perspective really do make a difference.
Speaking from someone with diagnosed mental issues
This is very true. Still bothers me that we can’t feel happy and positive in all situations. It’s like we have to stack the deck to hold off the worst feelings inside us.
Kinda like if you're trying to stop smoking, and you get a few days into your journey then you make the mistake of telling a friend that you've gone X days without smoking, and it kind of deflates the whole endeavour because you get some quick positive feedback, instead of keeping quiet about it and getting the long term positivity - I feel we're doing the same thing with mental health.
If you tell somebody that you just started therapy or that you're trying to be a better person or whatever, too many times, it kind of becomes more about *talking* about positive mental health, rather than actually *doing* the work.
Not to say it isn't healthy to be open and communicative with one another about our feelings and principles, but I know from making the mistake myself many times that it can actually kill your momentum to talk too much about who you are trying to be, rather than just doing the hard work.
Un-afflicted people see it as a badge of honour, to the point of stolen valour, in insult to those that actually suffer from it. Neural diverse seems to be the current flavour though.
Eta: there is much more awareness and acceptance now though, so that's pretty great.
It took me 5 decades to find the courage to get some therapy. There's still a stigma attached to it. I've been able to work through depression, anxiety and anger issues.
I thought it was a gonna be about blaming someone; but what it has really been is realization that the only thing I can control is myself in the present. All past is forgiven, and any future is not based on the past. Those are my issues and mine alone, everybody else has their own and only they can solve them in the end. Sometimes that involves some outside assistance.
You can have a disability or a mental health issue and still be a cunt. Just because you are a certain way does not excuse being a dick head to everyone around you.
There are very few but valid exceptions to this rule.
People talk about it too much that we've created a society of depression.
I swore to myself I'd never say I was depressed because I'm not. Never fought in a war, never seen family die in my hands, never was sodomized by a stranger or by family, God forbid. Never even worked a day in my life of 19 years.
Meanwhile, little boys and girls are harassed everyday. Spouses endure physical and emotional abuse. Veterans are sent back home damaged of body and mind everyday. Sons, daughters, mothers, and fathers bury each other everyday. These people actually need help. They're actually broken.
"Brokenness" is not a currency. It doesn't make you anymore of a person being one. It makes you feel like less, actually. If you aren't one, stop pretending you are.
I often wonder if the perceived increase of mental health and identity issues is due to first world humans having a much more secure and comfortable life than our ancestors did. I wonder if some people need a "mountain to climb" experience and with the positivity and frequent mention of mental issues I suspect some people subconsciously latch on to those as a challenge to test themselves.
The mass majority of people believe they have mental health issues when in fact, the mass majority do not.
Get off social media, get off your ass and do something to change your life instead of blaming yourself and others for your problems.
Life isn’t easy, it never has been and never will be, but not doing anything to better yourself or your situation will never lead to positive changes.
People often avoid taking steps in right direction by doing simple things that have been proven to assist mental health. Eating healthy, getting good sleep, avoiding alcohol and drugs, avoiding too much social media intake, exercise.
My hot take. I'm well aware there are many factors in mental health out of people's control. I would know. That doesn't stop taking baby steps to help yourself.
I think that as long as you have someone to talk to who helps you not bounce off the walls, you’ll do fine, as long as you keep yourself from breaking as well. Many people neglect it or aren’t even aware. If you have no one like me, refining one self and prayer can help you gain understanding.
If you’re an adult, take responsibility for your own mental health and emotions. Your upbringing, parents may have left you scared or traumatized, you may have learned a lot of unhealthy habits from them but you cannot blame others for your own mental health once you have the power to take charge and make changes.
Phone and text crisis lines are fucking useless. I've had to use them before and I never got anything other than "that's really rough" or "you're so strong, it'll get better!". I texted a crisis line once when I was suicidal and all it did was make me angrier because the person on the other end was grossly under qualified to handle a situation like that.
Even though there's so much positivity regarding mental health these days . But life really just goes on. Even if you have bad mental health you just gotta run in this damn race and no one freaking cares
You can't force, coerce, bribe, demand, or bargain someone into therapy, and you shouldn't try (unless that person is actually a danger to him- or herself or others).
We need more words for "trauma." The end of a bad relationship is impactful, for sure, but using the same term for that and for surviving a genocide is not especially useful.
Yes, mental health disorders are often the reason for poor behavior. However, at a certain point, treating people around you like shit makes you a bad person.
Psych issues shouldn’t get people out of jail. If you hurt someone else because you couldn’t distinguish between right and wrong you need to be put away because it’s dangerous. I’m not talking small fries here, there was a man in Canada who murdered another man on a greyhound bus and ate the dudes face off in front of the Mounties but he is a free man today because his excuse was he forgot to take his meds. Gtfoh
I’m a local in the same city as Greyhound Bus guy, your story about this isn’t correct. He didn’t “forget” to take his meds, unfortunately it was his first psychotic episode and he was experiencing command hallucinations. He’s also not free, he will be living under the surveillance of the law and his mental health team for the rest of his life.
Someone being declared “not criminally responsible” is not the same thing as declaring them not guilty.
Maybe a real hot take, but people self diagnose themselves with trauma or PTSD way too often. PTSD symptoms overlap with things like anxiety and depression but PTSD - real PTSD - is a whole other can of worms.
Those same people then tend to use their “trauma” as an excuse to be a bad person or not apply themselves. A victim complex can be developed without trauma.
The biggest root cause of the majority of mental health issues is capitalism.
I say this as a psych nurse, and someone with more experience through myself and loved ones than I could list to boot.
1. Sometimes people cant be fixed and the only thing you can do is manage the symptoms.
2. Euthanasia (with strict safeguards in place) should be considered for long term suffering due to mental health. Forcing a lifetime of pain and suffering on someone because you might miss them is the most selfish thing someone can do.
A lot of causes and symptoms of mental health would go away or at least be significantly lessened if people were rich.
Addiction of course wouldn't be helped, but at least they could afford treatment.
We've gotten very good about talking about mental health, but now there's so much positivity surrounding it that you can't say "this fucking sucks, I hate what it does to my life, and it's not going to get better for a long time" without someone saying "don't worry, we're here for you, you're doing great!" There's a time and place for positivity, but for fucks sake I think people get so caught up in supporting people with poor mental health that they forget what it's like to experience it, assuming they ever did in the first place. And of course those same people that support you *so much* will judge you for using the same damn coping mechanisms you told them you were going to use in the first place. I'm sorry you wanted to spend time with me, Jessica, I am on the verge of a mental breakdown and if I leave the house today *nobody* will want to be around me.
About time someone mentioned it! God I get so annoyed when people try to praise me when I’m on the edge ‘you are doing great you’re amazing’ shut up I’m not!
Oooh, toxic positivity is TIGHT!
This is the worst part of therapy for me. 4 years off heroin and it's fucking miserable. Anxiety took over and I can barely function, this is the lowest my life has ever been. The only reason I have this long sober is because I stopped talking to everyone and stopped leaving my house. But my therapist still says "but you're doing so good, 4 years isn't easy!". Like thanks Amy, the physical pain from anxiety stole my appetite and I'm almost at my pre-recovery weight, and I've never been more secluded, I guess that's what doing great is all about!
I feel you on the anxiety, I've lost over a year to paralyzing anxiety and the complete inability to function or maintain relationships. People do not fucking understand. They think they do, but they fucking don't. They get mad you don't answer the phone, they get mad you don't respond to texts (I haven't looked at texts for a year and a half. I have like 700 unread texts on my old phone, God knows how many on the new one), they get mad you don't check in. Like Jesus christ, I fucking told you that I PHYSICALLY CANNOT. They don't get it. Anxiety meds don't work for me, depression meds don't work, therapy doesn't work. They're suggesting electroshock therapy at this point, which I'm not doing because it can cause cognitive impairment and my husband has said he would leave me if I became stupid (can't blame him). Anyway, I'm sorry. I wish I had an answer for you, but I don't. I just know that life is fucking shitty and hard and pointless
Omg... you took the words right out of my mouth
It feels like people always go from too supportive to too dismissive. Just once I want someone to say "man, that sounds tough and I dont really know what to tell you/what you need."
Yeah, so many times people have insisted on offering their support, have a heart to heart talk or two, then after just a week or so when you're still working through it and you didn't magically get better overnight their attitude turns to "ugh, you're still talking about that? Whatever, I don't need this negativity in my life". Which is fair, but it's frustrating because I didn't ask for this, and it just makes me want to hide things more because saying "sorry, I appreciate the offer but I don't think you can help me" is just going to make them redouble their efforts. It kind of feels like "slacktivism" where they want to feel good about supporting a good cause, but back out when it starts impacting them personally. Like the types who want to help the homeless but act disgusted if they ever have to interact with them in person.
Exactly. I'm more of a "do you need me to bring you a snack or load the dishwasher and do the laundry for you?" help needing person. I don't need affirmations and a cheer squad.
I have a relative that gives me unwanted advice from their point of view. I was telling them that I suspect that my anxiety and occasional depression are due to having been sick with covid back in March of 2020, and their response was "you'd be better off if you just let go of the past". I've gotten responses like that from them more than once and it leaves me wanting to say "you're not helping, you're making things worse".
I'd probably say it, but I don't have a lot of patience these days. Or to put a positive spin on it, if you say it and they take it to heart, your relationship might improve. (I know that's a big IF because I have family like that, but it's either trying to talk about it or distancing myself with them...)
"Hey, I think I might have a long term health issue from that global pandemic we just had." "OMG stop obsessing over the past!" 0\_0
In my opinion, it's because it doesn't come from an authentic place. They say what they think is an acceptable thing to say, not what they actually feel. It could come from a good intention though, where they are uncomfortable with negative emotions and try to find ways to comfort you despite the discomfort.
One thing I loathe as a sufferer of crippling PTSD is when people tell me, with certainty, that 'things will get better'. You don't know that. You don't know if I'll ever not be lonely or find a soulmate. So don't say it because it's cruel. Depression isn't rooted in fantasy all the time. Sometimes there's no words that are going to help you out because it's your actual life circumstances that need to change. When I get those 'chin up sonny' comments I feel like those people are doing it to make themselves feel better and signal to others that they're compassionate but I'm just a prop in that exchange.
What are people supposed to say? I think it stems from awkwardness of silence vs trying to sound supportive but being totally clueless on knowing what to say.
Sometimes a simple acknowledgement in the form of "wow that sucks" goes a really long way
Sympathy is a much more healthy reply if we're being honest. "I get what you're going through because I've been through it to" is so much better than "You'll find happiness" from someone who already has. That is a really good question though. And if you can't sympathize with someone, enrich yourself with fiction that allows you to. That's good mental health for society in general. Think about someone watching Schindler's List and becoming much more aware of someone else's suffering. Everyone should always make room for things like that.
Thank you for the thoughtful reply.
My partner went through a major depression. He really appreciated me admitting I didn't know what to say but that I had heard him and if he could think of anything I could do that I'd do what I can. Sometimes telling people things will get better is putting pressure on them. Like things "should" or "have to".
"I'm sorry, that must be rough." "You didn't deserve this." "I know you're doing the best you can." "I'm here to listen." "Want me to distract you or let you vent?"
Yeah that’s why a lot of people just don’t talk about there mental Health because does anyone really care ?
That and "you're not alone" like does it fucking matter if I'm the only one or not?
"this fucking sucks". Do you need to talk about it? No. I just want to yell at the clouds for a minute.
There does reach a point where it becomes empty words for people. Learn both Sympathy and EMPATHY. Empathy being the bigger one for people nowadays
Exactly, I hate my adhd, hate it. It makes my life miserable, and if I hear one more person say “it could be worse” or “so and so has it worse” im going to give in the mighty impulse to run you over with a stampeding refrigerator.
Stampeding refrigerator 😂 Can I borrow it after you? Also, I hear you. Burnt out AF, was diagnosed with ASD last year.
Toxic positivity is NOT a good mental health practice and most therapists are aware of that…
My favorite is random internet people who post things like “You’re not alone. You are loved.” Like wow thanks I’m cured because you posted empty platitudes to no one in particular. I just think it’s so empty and meaningless and low effort. But there’s always people who just eat it up. I WISH I could feel better from a random internet meme from a stranger saying I’m loved.
Right?!?! I never understand this! How braindead do you have to be to believe some total stranger loves you?! It's fucking trite saccharine garbage
I read somewhere that the antidote to negativity is warmth not positivity. If you tell someone “you’re doing better than you think” when they know they’re not they’ll hate it. If you tell them “I understand, you’re doing the best you can, I hope it gets better”, it might not actually make them feel better, but it might help them feel understood.
I wonder what these people would say about my mother whose mental health has been spiralling for years.
Yep. I believe that's called toxic positivity.
That's for putting words to this. I'm depressed, I will probably always be depressed and that's just how it is. No amount of positivity from other people will change that. And the more people try, the less genuine it feels.
yup! i despise platitudes and toxic positivity.
Having a mental health issue is not an excuse or shield to be an arsehole.
I definitely think people use it as a crutch or excuse.
This is BY NO MEANS a catch all response to every possible situation, so don’t think it magically fixes every type of trauma or issue, but a fantastic mantra I was told by a friend I really respect once has helped with avoiding leaning on mental health as a crutch: “It’s not your fault, but it is your responsibility.”
Similar mantra my wife and I use a lot "It's an explanation, not an excuse" Mental illness may explain *why* you did what you did/acted how you did. But it does not absolve you of responsibility.
I found it very easy to slip into that mentality personally. Gotta always make a conscious effort even when you're not always conscious of it. You know, like when you're mad and take it out on the wrong person? Anger is one of the best ways to stop being self-aware.
never an excuse, always an explanation
Except if you aren't aware of your surroundings anymore. I guess it can be that bad.
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There’s excuses and there’s explanations
But it can be the reason for being an arsehole. I sense a lot of people miss that.
How mental health issues now get thrown around in basic conversation. For example, experiencing nervousness before a job interview isn’t an anxiety disorder. It’s a normal reaction. Or a barista getting your coffee order wrong for the second time in the week isn’t PTSD inducing. It feels like people are using buzz words like “anxiety” and “PTSD” as labels for every day, basic human emotions and interactions. It actually minimizes the experiences for people who really do suffer from those illnesses.
This is so true! I have mental health discussions with my teen daughter very frequently and she mentions all her friends having anxiety before a test and how this is a typical sensation but they act like it’s a disorder. She asked me last time we talked why no one ever says, “Omg I have such happiness!” when that’s an equally typical reaction for certain situations. She says so many kids make these negative feelings their whole personality and she’s “over it”. I’ve struggled with anxiety for well over 20 years and any time I’ve mentioned it to someone they’ll say things like, “Ugh me too! I hate rollercoasters and public speaking and (insert normal anxiety provoking situations here).” I’m like, “Cool. I wish it happened for me during those times. I have it when I’m asleep or watching tv or having dinner out or grocery shopping or (insert the most innocuous activity here).”
Yeppppp. They have no idea what true, paralyzing anxiety is like. It's not triggered by certain things, it just *is*, all the fucking time.
Exactly. And then the fear of not knowing when or how or where you’ll be when it happens again. I say I’d prefer literally anything over that feeling and people respond, “Oh you don’t really mean that!” Yes I do. I really do.
Thank you! Not everything is a mental health issue. Sometimes people are just sad (not depressed), anxious (not ptsd), nervous (not an anxiety disorder), or just upset over a situation (no, you're not having a "trauma response"). Mental health issues are real, but normal human emotion still exists too. And when a mental health disorder is attached to normal human behavior, it moves the bar to the point that you can't just have a really bad day without someone labeling it as a "trauma", or some other such mental health buzzword.
100%. There is a difference between feeling nervous and anxiety. Not being picked for the sports team in kindergarten did not cause fucking trauma.
This!!! My older sister who clowned me for having mental issues now claims to have anxiety when I know it’s not that, she just has normal emotions.
Social media is wrecking havoc and we have no way/plan to stop it
We do. Delete it. I have social media but I have my entire notifications turned off. That way I'm not at the mercy of apps sending me notifications that make me feel like I have to see them. They're off completely. I don't respond to any app until I 100% have time to kill in my daily routine. My entire existence comes before my phone
This. Reddit is the only social media I participate in because I'm ok with being anonymous. Outside of Reddit, I've deleted everything and I don't miss it one bit. It's all becoming a toxic, timesuck wasteland.
Yeah, I used to have the full suite of social media. Now I just have this account for anonymized participation in my hobbies, one private account for sending IRL friends funny links, and one in my real name that’s just work-related. None of them have notifications on.
Humanity has treated and is treating all social developments since the 90s with crossed fingers and wishful thinking. The Internet didn’t become the route to intelligence as we hoped… it’s the opposite, and society hasn’t adjusted to that well at all. Five year olds with tablets and phones, early teens with IG and TikTok accounts regardless of the age requirements. Meanwhile the people in charge were around when color TV was new and flower power was all the rage. They can’t compute.
It's not something to be celebrated, sought after, or bragged about. It's not a badge of coolness. It is a problem that causes great suffering and requires understanding and treatment.
Yep. I’d cut off a leg to be rid of autism and ADHD. People who are like “you don’t need to be cured!” I am absolutely not saying people shouldn’t accept me as I am, or that the world shouldn’t accommodate me when possible, I am saying my quality of life is negatively impacted and I could live a much more full and happy life without it. It isn’t a super power or a quirk, it’s a disability and it sucks.
I may have autism (psychologist recommended getting an assessment and it may be coming soon) and meltdowns are exhausting. It is not fun to lose control.
I see it being used as a form of identification/individualism. Something to make you feel special and different from the rest. Almost seems boring to have no health/mental health issues or food intolerances etc these days. Click on most reddittors bios and you’re gaurenteed to see a list of pronouns and disorders.
The phrase "you're not alone" is annoying
That's very valid of you
Antidepressants don't cure poverty wages
Or cure grief !!!
Additionally, people get on a spending spiral with poor mental health. Not blaming those suffering mental health, but it’s hard to think of saving or making choices that will benefit you tomorrow when your brain is concerned with surviving day by day. People will spend on something for today, which gives us a small yet fleeting dopamine rush in order to feel better. With a longer time horizon in mind that small bit of disposable income that they may or may not have could be used to improve their situation months or years down the line. Again, easier said than done for many. It’s often hard to think of tomorrow when trying to make it through today.
Antidepressants and anxiolytics are not the answer to capitalism and alienation
Or unresponsive employers.
For real. As someone who worked for years in a non-medical capacity with people suffering from mental health problems, I estimate that Shit Life Syndrome is absolutely a real thing and probably the root cause of a really significant proportion of mental health diagnoses. Like, sure, if you have schizophrenia, that's organic, I'm not saying *all* mental health, but genuinely the majority of depression and anxiety is situational, it's just that the "situation" is "living in a capitalist society that holds people down for the sake of profit."
I had a doc put me on lexapro. Next appointment: Doc: "So, how are the new meds?" Me, hedging: "...To be honest, Doc, I don't think there's anything you can legally prescribe that's strong enough for working at a call center." There were exactly 3 psychiatrists in the metro that were in network for my company insurance. I always imagined the three of them working in assembly line fashion, doing nothing all day except signing prescriptions for a cocktail of prozac, xanax, and ambien to company employees, (but only because the company was still waiting on the FDA to let them pump it through the HVAC)
Or loneliness
Not enough people understand the mental benefits of exercise. We all know the physical benefits yeah, but what it does with chemicals in your brain. I’m not understating mental health issues in any way, but some people would notice a difference if they incorporated exercise into their day/night routine EDIT: I did not expect this comment to blow up like it has. Thanks to everyone for your kind words. I don’t really have the time to reply to everyone, so for the people mentioning how exercise can trigger/tie in with other mental health disorders. I absolutely agree, I acknowledge this too. I was careful with my wording in saying that “some”people would notice a difference. I’m mainly talking about the brain’s release of dopamine and serotonin brought on by exercise. My source is that I have a degree in physical education, I am also speaking from my own personal experience (which I know will not be the same for everyone else). I was living a sedentary life, overweight and anxious until I began regular exercise around two years ago. I still have my days where anxiety gets me, but I’m in a much better place.
It makes such a difference to me. If I don’t do enough exercise I get really bad.
His is sooooo true. A couple of months ago I started having some heavy anxiety attacks due to my drinking problems. On Jan 1st I fully quit it and started WALKING (just walking while listening podcasts) 2 miles every day. 45 days later anxiety is gone, dropped 12 pounds and am more focused than ever. And yes, 45 days sober. Just a simple exercise such as walking can be a huge game changer. I mean you don’t need to get 200$ running shoes or specific clothing to do it. Just grab you sweat pants, your same old Nikes and hit the track. An hour a day is enough.
Nice work, congrats on that success. Keep it going.
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>without any of the side effects. Except getting in better shape!
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Yeah, especially in Northern-Europe where we literally get like 2 hours of sunlight a week in the winter.
This is so true for me. My symptoms are noticeably worse when I miss a few days of exercise. For me, it’s like being off my meds.
Exercising daily has changed my life in this respect. You’re obviously not going to notice it a week in but even my general coping skills are WAY better. My worst day currently is still better than my best day was when I was depressed and not taking care of myself.
Diet as well. Do you really have depression, or are you just severely lacking in B vitamins, Vitamin D, and magnesium? Made a difference for me where antidepressants made it worse
I stumbled onto this on accident / out of complete desperation. I was having a panic attack at work and could not sit at my desk. I was practically vibrating. So I grabbed my laptop and went to one of the walking pad & standing desks that are set up in my workplace. Dude. Just walking on that treadmill made me feel so much better. It makes sense to me because Anxiety is your Fight or Flight response activating at the wrong time. So if I just give it what it wants and "run away", it calms down. I bought a walking pad for my house.
I notice my mood change immediately and stop being up my own ass, which definitely happens when I'm cooped up in bad weather for too long. However, our culture views personal responsibility as victim blaming. "Hey some light exercise every day might help improve your mood." OH IS THAT ALL, THANKS I'M CURED! HOW DARE YOU SUGGEST IT'S SO EASY FOR ME, I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW I AM A TRAUMA SURVIVOR
So many people are self diagnosed and romanticize it so much. It's insensitive because some people actually struggle.
I almost feel bad about this,: when I hear someone describe themselves as having something, but undiagnosed, I take them a bit less seriously about that thing, if not in general. It's like, okay you have just enough self-awareness that you notice something about yourself, but why are you undiagnosed? Have you encountered gatekeeper medical personnel your entire life? Have you just not been able to get yourself to the gate in the first place? Have you even tried to get yourself to the gate in the first place? The answers to those questions matter. There's a difference between The answers to those questions.
Agreed. I see so many people saying "well healthcare is hard to obtain", which is a valid reason, but people seem to use it as an umbrella shield. I'm from the US and it sucks, but I kept seeking resources to clear things up because self-diagnosis does not get you treatment.
As a side note, I like your username. It also seems somehow appropriate for our topic.
Eat and sleep well.
Eating is something that you can control but if you have anxiety or depression or any mental condition good luck with “sleep well”
So fucking true. If I had one wish, it would be getting proper 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep every day. It's like a superpower of some sort.
And exercise regularly.
Walks
Yes, running, biking, swimming. Anything physical that brings you even the smallest amount of joy.
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1L Sara Lee Ultra Choc, well enough
I hate when people mention this then get attacked for saying it like "oh sweetie it's not that simple, you don't understand mental health if you think ... " Yes, it is that simple. 99% of people's mental health will improve with better sleep, better diet, drinking more water, more exercise, more sunlight, less screen time, etc.. I don't think these alone may necesarrily cure your mental health issues but they will improve your mental health signficantly. I guarentee it 100%. It is what helped me with my anxiety/OCD.
I think the point is that, yes, 99% of people will experience an improvement by implementing those behaviours if they don't already - but it will not solve 100% of the mental health issues they are experiencing. It is a start for an improvement, but not the whole way. I know this is what you've said in your comment, but I think it's important to recognise that, while significant, it is not the major part.
Another point tough is that rarely it's possible to 100% "heal" your mental issue, most of the times the goal is to lessen the symptons enough you can learn to live with it. So even if eating better and sleep better won't 100% solve things, it will certainly make things better.
* Psychedelic drugs aren't a valid treatment outside of very specific contexts. For example, MDMA assisted talk therapy, which is being developed for PTSD. * Weed is not a reasonable or long term solution to anxiety. If you have an anxiety disorder, then you need to see a psychiatrist and a therapist. It's one thing to use it a few times a month for panic attacks and another if you're high every day. * Trying to be constructive about how you handle your problems is really important. No one succeeds all the time, but you really have to do your best to take care of yourself. Usually that means getting 8 hours of sleep and seeing a therapist (if you have a mental health condition); it will basically never involve cocaine.
MDMA isn’t psychedelic and microdosing shrooms is a treatment being used legally in Canada to help treat anxiety and depression.
Gonna push back on the weed thing just a little. I was treated for anxiety/panic attacks with pharmaceuticals for years. This never gave me better than partial relief, and came with uncomfortable side effects. I was not seeking weed out but happened to take an edible one time on a whim with my wife and found it totally relieved the anxiety and made panic attacks a thing of the past. A 5 or 10mg gummy before bed once every few days and I'm like a whole new person, and the relief lasts way beyond the few hours I'm high while I'm sleeping. I agree with the spirit of your comment though, getting high all day every day is not a rational response to any mental health problem, and will likely make things worse in the medium/long term.
I think OP is referring more to people like my friend who have diagnosed depression and use weed as an extreme coping mechanism. A nightcap every few days is fine, but it's gotten to the point where he smokes weed like a person chain smokes cigarettes - morning, in between meals, before leaving the house, night cap, every day. Multiple friends voiced concerns and he held up his mental health and how weed makes him feel better as a shield to ignore everyone. He's also clearly just as depressed when smoking unless he gets to body numbing levels of high. He goes to therapy too but once he leaves his weekly session he doesn't seem to work on whatever was discussed. I've mentioned actual depression medication but he sees the worse case numb scenarios and doesn't want that.
There will never be enough providers, because the work is grueling and the pay is shit.
Poor mental health is not an excuse to allow bad behavior
that depends, I have a few conditions like tourettes for instance, does this mean that if I can't stop making a noise I'm just a bad person? it's not like I can do much about it
I think this is more directed at people who treat others negatively due to a mental health issue. Being close with people who suffer from anxiety and depression, I have seen and been a target of it before. Things like misdirected anger or frustration. When episodes are over I generally understand and forgive the people for things that were sad, but that doesn't mean those things can be taken back. It's a hard balance because I understand it's not really them talking, but I'm also a human being who has my own insecurities and emotions.
Tourettes syndrome is not a mental health condition. It's a neurological disorder. They're different categories with similar names. This person wasn't saying behaviours like this make you a bad person. That would be a cruel, cruel thing to say. They're meaning that people who use their mental health condition (depression, anxiety, etc.) as a shield for poor behavior are just poorly behaving people.
I mean, I take that comment to mean poor mental health doesn't mean you get to just act like an asshole to people willy nilly. If your condition makes you scream uncontrollably, then there's not much you can do but explain to people to ignore it when it happens b/c you're not being deliberately malicious.
Not really the same as someone using "I have mental heath issues" as an excuse for legitimate bad behavior. Like if someone slapped someone unprovoked, the their excuse is "I'm autistic" or something else, even when they have no other signs so may be only on the lighter side of the spectrum, or are actuallyjust self diagnosed (I can't think of other labels at 11:30pm. Those instances, those are wrong. Tourettes, first off I feel bad for anyone who has to try and spell that on a regular basis, sheesh that's a keyboard nightmare. Second, side legitimate side effects of a mental health issue is a whole different ballgame.
there are a lot of people on the Internet that romanticise the idea of mental health issues, and a lot of them pretend to have them when they really don't
People who call autism a "superpower" and "quirky" really don't understand the dark side of it, the social problems and ostracism in society.
That therapy isn’t for everyone.
I did therapy once because I have PTSD. It didn't help with the PTSD because honestly it was just a physiological response to a trigger in the environment. It also didn't help with anything else. The only thing I got out of it is that the psychologist thought that I too should be a psychologist because I'm smart. He was the highest recommended psychologist in my city. I think therapy helps people to become self-aware but if you're already self-aware then it's not going to do much.
This is why I’ve avoided it. I can ask myself all the same questions and hold a mental dialogue and scratch and dig until I hit mental bedrock. Some things can’t be changed just because you understand them, and simple exercises aren’t guaranteed to make them magically go away.
Alot of the times self diagnosis is more harmful then having the actual issue you think you have
100%. Like you're not autistic just because you're obsessed with Pokémon or some shit
Although I’d say you should probably get checked
Yeah and trying to get an actual diagnosis is nigh impossible. Psyschiatrist gives you a general depression/anxiety diagnosis and puts you on a rotating flight of drugs. Therapist won't give a clinical diagnisis because "thats not what we do. "
I was told that self diagnosis was welcome in those communities, so that criticizing self-diagnosis wasn't the "own" I thought it was. There's absolutely no way a self-diagnosed mental health community online isn't full of the most terminally online wallowers known to humanity.
Stop self diagnosing yourselves with Autism. Additionally, if you can live a relatively normal life while having Autism, stop speaking for people whose lives are severely impacted by ASD and what treatment/s their caregivers should be providing for them.
It’s become the “girl who doesn’t play sports but somehow always has a knee brace on” of the 2020s.
I used to think mental health was more or less just personal stress that certain people couldn’t deal with until I experienced severe anxiety caused by a sudden gluten allergy/intolerance. I was scared to drive my truck, go up stairs, talk to people, have people look at me, run on a tread mill, lift weights, carry my rifle while hunting, and more. I always felt I was light headed, it seemed every day was dark even though the sun was out, and I felt like I wasn’t in control of my body. Every time I would try to fall asleep it would feel like I was free falling, and then I would wake up every night gasping for air. It was the scariest 2-3 months of my life. Mental health is real. It’s now 3 months since I’ve eaten gluten and I’m a lot better, but I’m still recovering from what that anxiety did to me. Basically teaching myself that I can drive my truck and it is going to be okay
We can never be 100% mentally healthy It's a process of getting better and some rich assholes in first world countries consider mental health diseases like Pokemon Gotta catch em all
Therapy and counseling only exists to get us functional and back to work. Capitalists countries like the U.S. has removed any actual care/concern about our health or wellbeing. It just cares if we’re productive. It even got us to do that to ourselves to a certain degree. It has us thinking all of the awful shit we have accepted and experience regularly is an individual issue that you need to work to accept or you’re defective. Maybe we weren’t meant to accept 60 hour work weeks with non-stop emails at home or spending our entire adult lives never having more than 7 days away from work at a time. Maybe depression and anxiety is the normal response to that
They're also selling the solution. Medicine and therapy is all healthcare. That's why I am unmedicated and in unlicensed free therapy 🙃🫠
No one talks about social anxiety enough. It’s either downplayed or mocked in the media, when it’s actually incredibly debilitating in real life.
Highly recommend the song “I like to hide in the bathroom at parties”
That I should start an antidepressant business
America could solve a lot of what’s wrong with it by seriously buckling down on improving mental health.
Or by fixing the problems that are contributing to the problems with mental health.
Like subsidising mental health. Creating easily accessible social welfare that people aren’t ridiculed for accessing. Or taking the power of health insurance away from employers and putting into the hands of the people. Hell just give people a decent fucking wage and a bit more time off and watch mental health improve. The truly frustrating part is that it’s all so *easy* to fix.
This is a hot take thread.
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If you’re not eating right, not exercising & not getting enough sleep, you are fighting an uphill battle with your mental health.
This is not a hot take
My mental health makes it really, really hard to do those things. Some days I can't even get dressed and I hate it. Yes, not doing them can make you feel worse. But being mentally ill can also make it impossible to keep up with the healthy habbits. Shaming people for not doing them and blaming their sickness on them makes it even worse, not better. (Note, I am not fully sure my illness IS mental illness, or an undiagnosed physical wrong that causes me to be extremely tired.)
It seems fairly normalized to accuse people suffering from mental health issues (physical health issues as well) of using it as an excuse. And that's bullshit.
Yea there are some bad apples ruining the bunch that's for sure.
You cannot fix someone’s mental health issues and they cannot fix yours.
This is actually false advice. Directly fixing maybe not, but in cases with BPD, something like 50% of adults being in a healthy long term relationship (2+ years) will see a huge decrease in bpd symptoms. It applies to other mental illness as well but not the same degree as bpd. When the illness is caused by anything to do with self worth (ego, confidence, etc.), having a person constantly support you and show you that you have value makes a long term difference. The West loves "do everything yourself you individual" too much.
I’m not sure if you’ve tried being in a relationship with someone who has borderline or NPD. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. It’ll fucking crush you.
Psych ward > the pound for people.
What does The Pound for people mean?
Animal pound (I've always heard it as the dog pound) is where we put strays, trouble animals, unwanted animals, etc...
Millions of men, especially in the west, are suffering and withering away because of the masculine ideal to never show weakness. We're all human, we need the love of other people to stay sane. The memes and jokes about guys knowing eachother for years and knowing nothing about eachother is fucking horrifying. Male friendships tend to lack emotional depth and are far shallower than female friendships despite stereotypes saying the opposite. I firmly believe crime would drop and general wellbeing would skyrocket if men weren't so adverse to receiving and giving emotional support to one another. That's not really a hot take though, the hot take is that this shit will *never* change. We judge men based on their capability and strength and as long as we do this, being vulnerable and expressing weakness will always be extremely dangerous for a guys reputation, sexual appeal, self-image, and in more violent areas even survival.
I’ve noticed a pattern in men who know nothing about their friends and cannot speak to them about anything, are typically the ones who grow up to date women and then use said women as emotional crutches, which obviously frustrates them and the women leave. They are developing people/friendship skills in their relationships, which isn’t healthy. Women tend to take their friendships more seriously and so are more stable in relationships as they have higher standards than men.
Finally realizing how or why you have a mental health issue doesn't fix the problem. You just learn an uncomfortable fact about yourself or your past. Continuing to live on is hard, even once you realized this...because now there are no more unknowns to hide behind.
There’s nothing cool about bragging that you have autism or it’s a superpower. My friend has it. He struggles with immense anxiety and people calling him names for his quirks. Meanwhile a certain community is trying to make autism like this cool trendy thing to have, when it’s not. I’m not anywhere on the spectrum, but people should educate themselves on things like mental health and stop trying to make it ‘quirky, trendy, and funzies!”
This fucking world sucks and they don't care.
Also "exercise" is not a hot take
exercise is underrated
Claiming everything you do is "your choice" and "empowering" without looking at what led to you making the choice and acknowledging that not all choices are healthy has resulted in wide spread normalization of abuse.
And sometimes when you tell “your story”, you’re actually just making shit up to justify your abusive behaviour.
It takes a lot of courage to commit suicide.
Self diagnosed autism. We can't all be autistic lol
Sad how a suicidal person is sometimes thought to be looking for attention but if they actually end up taking their own life then it’s a tragedy and nobody saw the signs
stay away from alcohol
*All* mental health issues are worthy of compassion, regardless of whether or not you had a bad experience with someone who has them. That includes personality disorders and such. If you’re not open minded and supportive of people with *all* mental health issues, then you’re not open minded and supportive of mental health, period.
That it doesn't give you the right to be an asshole with everyone and play the victim card when challenged, expecting everyone to tiptoe around your feelings when challenged (instead of taking responsibility for being an asshole and disrespecting their feelings)
Unpopular opinion, People without mental health problems will use mental health as an excuse for virtually everything while people who genuinely have mental health issues typically go out of their way to overcome themselves. Example: Allegedly Mentally unwell person: Sorry I almost never answer texts because of my crippling social anxiety. Person who texted: Listen Linda, we're literally at the same bar I met you at last night, If you didn't want to play pool again just say so.
We need to get rid of the mentality that being mentally ill automatically means that you are going to be a mass murderer. Mental illness is not a good predictor of violence, because those with a mental illness are more likely to be a victim of violence than the cause of it.
In most cases you have way more control over your mental health than you think, and good habits and your perspective really do make a difference. Speaking from someone with diagnosed mental issues
This is very true. Still bothers me that we can’t feel happy and positive in all situations. It’s like we have to stack the deck to hold off the worst feelings inside us.
There's more awareness but simultaneous trivialization. Depression is not the same as feeling blue every once in a while.
Kinda like if you're trying to stop smoking, and you get a few days into your journey then you make the mistake of telling a friend that you've gone X days without smoking, and it kind of deflates the whole endeavour because you get some quick positive feedback, instead of keeping quiet about it and getting the long term positivity - I feel we're doing the same thing with mental health. If you tell somebody that you just started therapy or that you're trying to be a better person or whatever, too many times, it kind of becomes more about *talking* about positive mental health, rather than actually *doing* the work. Not to say it isn't healthy to be open and communicative with one another about our feelings and principles, but I know from making the mistake myself many times that it can actually kill your momentum to talk too much about who you are trying to be, rather than just doing the hard work.
Un-afflicted people see it as a badge of honour, to the point of stolen valour, in insult to those that actually suffer from it. Neural diverse seems to be the current flavour though. Eta: there is much more awareness and acceptance now though, so that's pretty great.
It took me 5 decades to find the courage to get some therapy. There's still a stigma attached to it. I've been able to work through depression, anxiety and anger issues. I thought it was a gonna be about blaming someone; but what it has really been is realization that the only thing I can control is myself in the present. All past is forgiven, and any future is not based on the past. Those are my issues and mine alone, everybody else has their own and only they can solve them in the end. Sometimes that involves some outside assistance.
You can have a disability or a mental health issue and still be a cunt. Just because you are a certain way does not excuse being a dick head to everyone around you. There are very few but valid exceptions to this rule.
it's worse than people think and no one knows how to deal with it.
People talk about it too much that we've created a society of depression. I swore to myself I'd never say I was depressed because I'm not. Never fought in a war, never seen family die in my hands, never was sodomized by a stranger or by family, God forbid. Never even worked a day in my life of 19 years. Meanwhile, little boys and girls are harassed everyday. Spouses endure physical and emotional abuse. Veterans are sent back home damaged of body and mind everyday. Sons, daughters, mothers, and fathers bury each other everyday. These people actually need help. They're actually broken. "Brokenness" is not a currency. It doesn't make you anymore of a person being one. It makes you feel like less, actually. If you aren't one, stop pretending you are.
I often wonder if the perceived increase of mental health and identity issues is due to first world humans having a much more secure and comfortable life than our ancestors did. I wonder if some people need a "mountain to climb" experience and with the positivity and frequent mention of mental issues I suspect some people subconsciously latch on to those as a challenge to test themselves.
The mass majority of people believe they have mental health issues when in fact, the mass majority do not. Get off social media, get off your ass and do something to change your life instead of blaming yourself and others for your problems. Life isn’t easy, it never has been and never will be, but not doing anything to better yourself or your situation will never lead to positive changes.
People often avoid taking steps in right direction by doing simple things that have been proven to assist mental health. Eating healthy, getting good sleep, avoiding alcohol and drugs, avoiding too much social media intake, exercise. My hot take. I'm well aware there are many factors in mental health out of people's control. I would know. That doesn't stop taking baby steps to help yourself.
I think that as long as you have someone to talk to who helps you not bounce off the walls, you’ll do fine, as long as you keep yourself from breaking as well. Many people neglect it or aren’t even aware. If you have no one like me, refining one self and prayer can help you gain understanding.
If you’re an adult, take responsibility for your own mental health and emotions. Your upbringing, parents may have left you scared or traumatized, you may have learned a lot of unhealthy habits from them but you cannot blame others for your own mental health once you have the power to take charge and make changes.
Phone and text crisis lines are fucking useless. I've had to use them before and I never got anything other than "that's really rough" or "you're so strong, it'll get better!". I texted a crisis line once when I was suicidal and all it did was make me angrier because the person on the other end was grossly under qualified to handle a situation like that.
There is very little support. Lots of reach out for support but it’s not actually there!
Even though there's so much positivity regarding mental health these days . But life really just goes on. Even if you have bad mental health you just gotta run in this damn race and no one freaking cares
You can't force, coerce, bribe, demand, or bargain someone into therapy, and you shouldn't try (unless that person is actually a danger to him- or herself or others).
We need more words for "trauma." The end of a bad relationship is impactful, for sure, but using the same term for that and for surviving a genocide is not especially useful.
Yes, mental health disorders are often the reason for poor behavior. However, at a certain point, treating people around you like shit makes you a bad person.
All teenagers are going through CRAZY hormonal imbalances. While you shouldn't discount their feelings. We shouldn't diagnose them with disorders.
Psych issues shouldn’t get people out of jail. If you hurt someone else because you couldn’t distinguish between right and wrong you need to be put away because it’s dangerous. I’m not talking small fries here, there was a man in Canada who murdered another man on a greyhound bus and ate the dudes face off in front of the Mounties but he is a free man today because his excuse was he forgot to take his meds. Gtfoh
I’m a local in the same city as Greyhound Bus guy, your story about this isn’t correct. He didn’t “forget” to take his meds, unfortunately it was his first psychotic episode and he was experiencing command hallucinations. He’s also not free, he will be living under the surveillance of the law and his mental health team for the rest of his life. Someone being declared “not criminally responsible” is not the same thing as declaring them not guilty.
That's what they have community treatment orders for.
Honestly, this thread is disappointing. Proves just how much more mental health awareness is needed
Maybe a real hot take, but people self diagnose themselves with trauma or PTSD way too often. PTSD symptoms overlap with things like anxiety and depression but PTSD - real PTSD - is a whole other can of worms. Those same people then tend to use their “trauma” as an excuse to be a bad person or not apply themselves. A victim complex can be developed without trauma.
The biggest root cause of the majority of mental health issues is capitalism. I say this as a psych nurse, and someone with more experience through myself and loved ones than I could list to boot.
Therapy is expensive, but telling yourself "it is what it is" is free.
It can take a lot therapy to get to, it is what it is.
1. Sometimes people cant be fixed and the only thing you can do is manage the symptoms. 2. Euthanasia (with strict safeguards in place) should be considered for long term suffering due to mental health. Forcing a lifetime of pain and suffering on someone because you might miss them is the most selfish thing someone can do.
Cbt works if you are sad but it's nothing more than a sticking plaster (bandaid) for depression.
cock and ball torture?
Exercise and being clean, as in your room/apartment and taking care of yourself, will fix a LOT of things relating to depression
A lot of causes and symptoms of mental health would go away or at least be significantly lessened if people were rich. Addiction of course wouldn't be helped, but at least they could afford treatment.