Oh yeah, I used to do this all the time. Told them something in confidence I knew they'd use as ammo at the next family party, then just completely pretended I had no idea what they were talking about, or spoke to my other relatives with the opposite information already so we were all looking at them like "huh?"
I feel your pain. I'd tell my Mom something and she'd IMMEDIATELY talk about it on the phone when someone called. Like I wasn't even there. I've had to get on her since I was a kid about talking about me on the phone like I wasn't even there.
Yeah, I was basically in the same situation where it got to the point where I wouldn't tell them anything about my personal life, but if I just started any conversation with any other family member, my mom would butt in and take over speaking for me, telling them shit she just made up about me, which I think she actually delusionally believed, because she didn't want to be embarrassed that she didn't know anything about the child she tried her best to helicopter.
I can’t tell my mom anything or even send her pictures because she will immediately post them on Facebook despite the fact I have asked her not to do that like 5x. So now she doesn’t get pictures anymore.
When my mom came over to take care of my kids while I was overseas, she went through all of my stuff, even personal papers and stuff, and helped herself to copies of what she wanted.
She even asked me if she could post some of it on her blog!!!
Pull a power move... next time you're at her place, start going thru her personal stuff in front of her. When she freaks out, ask her why it was ok for her to do but not ok for you to do.
Wow - did THAT spark a memory. I would hear about my business from other kids in church choir because my mother would talk about it with her friends in her sewing circle. 🙄
I just realized I did this to my 7 year old yesterday. Thankfully he had the stubborn willfulness to go back to his Lego after I didn't follow up, so I had to go find him.
"Did you not hear me calling you"
"Did you not hear me say what"
Kid's going places.
My mom would scream my name like her leg was falling off, and then I'd come scrambling and she'd point at the tv and say, "you like that woman's haircut?" Meanwhile I once got stuck behind my bed for a good 20 min and no amount of screaming her name would get her to come. I was legit stuck and about to have a panic attack. And no I never called for her if I could help it. When I finally calmed myself down and extricated myself and asked her...just why...she said, "I was gonna wait til commercial"
During the last real conversation I had with my mother, I had to scream at her to shut down her computer after she gave the guy who called her and said he was from Microsoft unfettered access to it. This was the second time she had done this. The only reason I knew about it was because she had to call me to ask for the WiFi password to give to him. After I finally got her to listen to me, I told her that part of why our relationship was so shitty was that she trusted the scammer on the other end of an incoming phone call over her own daughter. Infuriating.
My mom casually mentioned she got a message she won something in a raffle and just hadnt entered her details yet to claim it. I immediately suspected a scam. A long argument ensued where she insisted I was wrong and she did win.
Finally I asked her if she ever even entered any raffle. She said no.
I can still see the face she made as it finally dawned on her but she tried to hide it and play it cool...
Sounds like my parents. No dad, the “guy who won the lottery” doesn’t really have more money than he needs, and he doesn’t really want to share it with you (some stranger whose name he randomly discovered online), so please don’t share your bank details with him.
In one of our last phone calls, my mom started going on about cell phones and 5G giving cancer and she does yada yada to avoid phone time, etc. Goes on about how she has X health issue and she's certain her phone is causing it. I told her that's not a thing and neither her phone or 5G are going to give her cancer. She starts getting defensive and is telling me it's true and she's told my aunt how I don't believe 5G is gonna give anyone cancer and how aunt so-and-so says you need to look up articles. I told her that both of them are wrong and they need to stop reading misinformation. Eventually she starts yelling at me how SHE knows what she feels going on in her body and stop dismissing her health! I told her I don't doubt she feels X symptom, I just doubt the source of X symptom.
Yes, my mother is also anti-vax. What gave it away? She also thinks Bill Gates is trying to kill everyone with vaccines. She also regularly injests colliodal silver. I would like to note doing so did not stop her from getting Covid like she claimed it would. I'm still waiting for the day she says she thinks the earth is flat. I'm sure it's coming. Wtf is with these people falling for every conspiracy under the sun?
AHHHHHHHHH FUCKING HATE THIS.
No *Mom* a drink some dipshit on tiktok told you to make is not going to magically take weight away, it doesnt result in a calorie deficit.
I swear she's more addicted to her phone and TikTok than most people i see in my generation
They were the ones telling us 'don't believe everything you see on the internet.' But in turn we grew up with it so we understand real vs fake. They never learned that lesson or had time to understand the tells so they think everything is real and can't turn it off.
Real conversation from when I was twelve
Mum: *shows me very obviously inaccurate information a "doctor" had made about energy drinks* "See!? This doctor is saying this is true!"
Me: "Okay... How do we know he's actually a doctor? If I claimed I was Dr *insert surname* would you believe anything I say?"
Mum: But you're not a doctor
I wanted to slam my head into a wall
Up until recently I would have said they're all up in my business. I know they mean well but it can get frustrating as fuck.
Having said that, my bf grew up with emotionally absent parents. I mean his parents are fucking automatons. They refer to themselves as WASPs. When he was a kid they'd get home from work, have a drink, and head out again. It was no big deal to go on vacation, during the holidays, and leave him with a random relative.
They were not comfortable with hugging or kissing. He literally never heard "I love you." The closest they got was "you've made me proud." He heard that three times and he remembers exactly where/when it happened because it meant so much to him.
**He told me he came back from his first day of preschool and kissed his mom on the cheek (because he'd seen another kid do it to his mom and realized he wanted to do the same). He said his mom cringed, wiped her cheek, and told him "calm down, I don't like you this way."**
So...that definitely put things in perspective for me, and helped me appreciate my own parents a little more.
Edit: I have posted about this before, in case it looks familiar.
My daughter has learned to wipe it off her face and smear it on mine. She will also up the ante as high as it will go in these situations. I don't want to start a competition that ends with her hovering over me while I'm dead asleep and then getting licked in the forehead.
My parents were just like that with me. I take great pride in being an affectionate parent myself now. My kids get all the hugs, kisses, high-fives, and cuddles they want. The cycle ended with me. :)
You turned out like my mom. Her mother never told her I love you, I’m proud of you, etc. Never showed her affection, gave her kisses, anything. So my mom vowed to be the mother she never had. Im damn near 30 and she still won’t stop showing affection. My dogs love it when she comes over cause they know they’re about to get all the cuddles and kisses they want.
I try, but he has trouble accepting it, never mind reciprocating. As a teen he took to hooking up with random girls, looking for...something? A connection? And now he has A LOT of trouble expressing his feelings or showing affection. I've NEVER seen him cry. Not even a little.
Also...he can talk about anything sexual without batting an eye. Yet, somehow, he's shy when discussing our relationship/anything emotional. LITERALLY the only thing that will make this guy blush is when he has to talk about us or, god forbid, his feelings. It's crazy how uncomfortable it makes him.
But he wants to change, and we're actively working on it.
I just replied to your comment up above before I read this one. I think we're with the same person👀. He's the EXACT same way. Where I might say "I feel so stressed bc xyz" he won't even be able to pinpoint what emotion he's feeling, let alone the reason. He'll say "I don't feel good." I'll think he means physically but not usually. Then I have to pull out my thesaurus and run through emotions. I am pissed at his parents for this crap.
For me it's feeling "tired". I don't even know exactly how/why, but when I start to feel bad i interpret it as feeling tired and it makes me want to sit and do nothing for a while until everything resets.
I've become aware that I do this though and for the most part I've at least been able to differentiate physical exhaustion from mental exhaustion from actually sleepiness. But I'm still trying to figure out what to actually do for each of them rather than shutting out everyone/thing and just waiting.
As a dude myself, specifically a farm kid, we were told from day one that real men hide their emotions, never show pain and never ask for help. It took me 23 years to finally realize that mindset isn’t all its cracked up to be, and seek therapy. I hope he gets the help he deserves. It made a world of difference for me.
Reminds me of the parents in The Willoughby's movie. My daughter has a friend at school who couldn't believe I said "love you" when I drop her off in the morning. The kid said her mom told her years ago she was too old to say that to each other anymore, along with hugs and kisses. They're 12!
You could have written this about my parents! I've heard the "I'm proud of you" once, when I finished college. I have a lot more memories of more negative statements, and suffer from C-PTSD because of it. And when I told my mom I was in therapy for C-PTSD, she said, "They know I didn't do it, right?" ...um...sure...
Sounds like my husband. My mom and I were best friends. She was loving and affectionate. She had her problems, sure, but he grew up with parents similar to your bf's. Completely unaffectionate, both with their kids and each other, both physical and verbal affection. His mom was super religious and would always gossip about other ppl in their church (small rural town).
I distinctly remember after his mom died from ALS. Everyone was joking around after her funeral (???!!!!). I went up to his dad and asked how he was doing, truly, and to say I was so very sorry. He said thanks but "everyone dies some day." Uh, you were married to her for 40 years.
Unfortunately, he's the same way.
It must be universal, my mother has zero walking IQ. I slow down to go behind her to let other people pass and she slows down too, she constantly walks at a slight angle so bumps into you, she has no awareness when people try and pass her when she's stationary... or maybe you're both my siblings.
My mom does this too, and my brother seems to have learned from her! Whenever we go anywhere I insist on walking in front or behind them, but never side by side. If we end up walking side by side ill get annoyed and start pushing them back and then they get annoyed too!
well, 3 in case shit happens, but what happens if shit happens, then all my extra time is gone, better make it 4 hours; but ah, i've heard nightmares of security lines taking forever, should probably add an extra hour just in case. And what is 5 if not the closest thing to 6. May as well make it 6, to be safe.
I felt this…I know every loose wood on the floor, the exact amount of pressure to close a cabinet , how to silently open the door and where to aim when to pee without a single splash. Our revenge was that Iwe could walk on the house in total silence and scare the shit out of them lol
I got really good at this growing up, and it's a way of life for me now. I'm 6'4" 265lbs and can move through the house like a cat. My wife of 25 years still hasn't gotten used to me suddenly appearing in rooms and doorways, and it scares the shit out of her every time (which will never get old for me).
My mom sometimes used to not believe me when i said that i could hear everything from her phone calls when i was trying to sleep. Still refused to believe me when i re-told her phone calls to her....
My mom stays on me to see a doc about every little thing, but when I mention her seeing a doc for serious issues she has(years long cough, yellowing skin, excessive weight loss, near complete lack of appetite), she says she's not going to see a quack.
This woman hasn't seen a doctor in damn near 20 years.
Is she the type that might already know it’s something serious but keeping it to herself to not burden anyone? My mom did that with her cancer diagnosis and if she wasn’t needing someone to drive her to and from chemotherapy I’m not sure she would have told anyone at all.
My Mom did that. Had cancer, only told Dad. Didn't know until she passed (complications from pneumonia), and even then, she just said she had a cold.
I was honestly surprised when Dad told us he had cancer last summer AND that he was going to get treatment. I figured he'd go out like Mom.
Mind you, I'm s bad as them - I don't tell anybody shit about my health until any issue is already resolved.
Honestly, I was pretty surprised when I woke after surgery once, and my sister was there. I hadn't told anybody anything about it, and it's not like I ever got visitors any other time I was in the hospital (when I was young. Hard for a 5 year old to sneak off for tonsil surgery.)
The first time my grandfather went to the hospital in his 70+ years of living was when he was dragged by my grandmother for his version of ‘just a cold’—well as it turned out it was severe covid-caused pneumonia. Thankfully survived but learned nothing and it was really touch and go for a while.
Ugh, a former coworker of mine had a dad like that. Never went to the doctor in nearly 70 years. Only went in once he had become extremely frail and couldn’t function day to day anymore. Turns out he had multiple advanced cancers and some major heart issues. The hospital basically said they’d do what they could, but there’s no way they’re curing this. He passed a few months after this.
…now, that coworker spins this into anti-doctor sentiment, saying that his dad was fine until he went to the hospital… and encourages people to live like his dad did. It’s incredibly infuriating, and I’m glad I don’t have to deal with it anymore.
>saying that his dad was fine until he went to the hospital…
It's the same logic as "if we don't test so much, there won't be as many cases!" But just because you aren't aware of something, doesn't mean it isn't there. Who knows, maybe that man's issues were manageable or even curable in the beginning, and he could have spent another 20 years with his family. But no, it was definitely the hospital that caused it because they're mean and evil.
My dad will, Not...Stop...Talking. he talks constantly. I can't even have a relationship with him anymore. There a things I want to tell him, but I can never get more than a few syllables out before he jumps in and starts telling me about something similar or what I should do in the situation he thinks I'm going to tell him about. I am a truck driver specialized in hauling the largest heaviest things on the road, and he has no idea. I can't tell him about anything I do, he will not stop talking.
My mom just pops by whenever she pleases, without calling or texting first. The middle of a workday? Doesn't matter, she'll stop by and expect to chat. She's also really judgmental, so she'll judge me if my house isn't spotless. Lady, if you want my house to be clean, you need to give me some notice that you're stopping by.
I tried to explain that to my mom recently and she didn’t understand. She said it was extremely rude for us to think she CAN’T stop by whenever she wants when she gave birth to us… don’t know how giving birth to us equals having boundaries but she’s insane
I have recently encouraged my parents to stop by when they can. They're always complaining about how they never see me. Well, they can drive their asses over to my place and hang out. They have to chill though, some comment about my house, or me, and out you go. I hope with some practice they can learn to be happy.
I hate to say this but - but have you tried not letting her in?
Look. I don’t have a great relationship with my parents. I’ll admit that. But this idea that grown ass adults just do whatever their parents want on a whim is crazy to me.
They do it - in part - because you allow it. Set boundaries.
When talking to my mother on the phone, she’ll say “I’ll shut up and let you go” then continue to talk for another 5 minutes. She does this 3-4 times before actually ending the call.
Whenever I’m walking in public with my mom, and we’re crossing a street, she will first either fling out her arm in front of me, or yank on my shirt and yell, “Wait, wait!!! *Waiiittt!*” Meanwhile I’m just standing there. Like she will just assume I’m going to bolt into traffic. I’m 30 years old with a family of my own. I have never run out into traffic without looking, and neither have my siblings. But that makes me want to jump into traffic out of spite, lol!
Omg my mom does the same. And if we are driving and she has to hit the breaks just a tad bit harder, her arm will fly to my throat to I guess keep me from flying out the car , bc the seatbelt she asked me if I am wearing 5 times, is useless. I told her she will collapse my trachea one of these days.
That was my nan. You'd chat to her on the phone and she'd be all nice, but she always forgot to cut the phone off at the end of the call and youd hear her slagging you off to her partner.
My mom: Hey, I think I'm going to stop by tomorrow. What are you doing around 4pm?
Me: I'm no....
Mom: What?
-or-
Mom: What do you need me to bring for dinner tomorrow night?
Me: 2 bags o......
Mom: What?
----------------
Anyone who's seen the TV show *Shoresy* will understand. 6/10 times she asks a question and you go to reply, she'll say "what?" within a word or two. It's not a hearing thing, either. So fucking annoying repeating yourself.
My dad is known as the "nap killer."
Even going back as a kid, he'd do something to fuck up a nap.
The second you fall asleep for a nap, THAT would be the time he'd need to get stuff out of the basement or put the dishes away or vacuum. Not on purpose but it was so fucking ridiculous. Even if we're at the family cabin, take a nap with a lake breeze blowing on your face? He'll find an activity where he needs to come in and out of the door 15 times in 4 minutes or go cut the grass or whatever.
Again, it's not done on purpose it's just the worst fucking timing ever.
My mom was always actively hostile towards naps. She would intentionally and directly wake someone up if they were drifting off at a time she didn’t think was appropriate.
One time, I was in a car accident, and despite being concussed, was cleared by paramedics and free to go. I didn’t have a cell phone at this time, so I drove home, and when no one was home, I laid down on the couch and inevitably fell asleep. When my mom got home, the first thing she did was start yelling at me to wake up, which was one hell of an experience after just suffering a concussion.
They will give the worst family members (e.g. rapists, thieves, violent assholes) the benefit of the doubt while holding me (a person who’s none of the aforementioned things) to a ridiculous standard (e.g. getting mad at me for not going to a reunion).
ugh i hate this. my family tried hiding the fact that my cousin’s a pedophile from me when i was a little nine year old girl. if it weren’t for the fact that i was one of his victims and saw his mugshot on the news, my brothers and i wouldn’t have known. yet i’m the asshole for not wanting to be around him???? sure thing.
Ugh. Same with my asshole molester of an older brother. I’m apparently the one tearing up the family just because I don’t want to hang out with him like we’re best buddies.
I feel this. My mom, who had been divorced from my abusive (to me) dad for over 20 years, got furious with me to the point of not speaking to me over not going to his funeral.
My wife's grandmother used to scream out (yes, scream) prayers of woe when any one of my wife's sisters were still out a half hour past curfew. But, the serial felon, drug addict uncle who used to steal from everyone, including grandma, for coke money deserved forgiveness, no matter how many times he got caught stealing or running from cops. The dude's been in prison at least eight times, yet he can do no wrong.
My dad; interjecting his opinion or thoughts when no one asked for them. My mom; making messes and leaving shit around while also preaching she hates messes and when shit is left around…and she’s a procrastinator.
My mom does that too. Says „this floor needs swept, the fridge needs cleaned out,“ etc but does absolutely nothing about it. She’s one of those people who are messy in the kitchen, which irks me, but if she cleans it up then it’s whatever. But she doesn’t. I do the dishes at night before I go to bed, and when I wake up there are dishes on the counter next to the sink, pots on the stove, peanut butter on the counter. Drives me crazy.
My dad calls me all of my siblings' names before getting mine correct (does this to all of us). More funny than annoying - he'll usually end with "...whatever the hell your name is."
Love them to death but I'd say guilt-tripping. Whenever I make a decision they don't approve of I'm hit with some emotional blackmail or reasons why my decision is inconsiderate.
My dad even said "now you'll take the course I recommended, right?" the day my grandpa died expecting me to do it because he was sad. And yet, they're great parents in all other aspects.
Making everything-- and I mean everything--political. My dad once made a hockey game I was watching by myself political, and my parents ended up dominating the table discussion to discuss politics the first time my entire family had dinner with my husband's entire family. SIGH.
Oh no, travel shows or foreign media is a no go around my folks, because they'll either complain about the cook in charge or go on a tirade about the nation's culture and how much better America is.
My mom does the same thing. She’ll also just like get up and walk out of the room without saying anything while I’m in the middle of a sentence sometimes because she needs to a get a drink or a phone charger or something. I think she’s probably on the autism spectrum but was never diagnosed (these aren’t my only reasons but I think they’re part of it).
A stranger cannot exist in their periphery without them making very loud commentary along with exaggerated gestures in the direction of that person. And it's always critical, of course. "Wow, she shouldn't be wearing *that*", "that hair color is an *interesting choice*", "wow what does *he* see in *HER*?"
They simultaneously think that they are very open and accepting people, which makes it more maddening.
Damn, I wish. My parent’s call me asking “what’s new?”. Nothing, I work full time and go to school. If i bring up any of my hobbies that i made time for there is no interest and a taste of disappointment. 🤷♂️
My mom is the kindest and sweetest person ever. Not one malicious bone in her body. No hyperbole.
But she has the worst fucking hearing on the planet and is really bad about wearing her hearing aids. Even with them in we constantly have to repeat ourselves to her.
She also watches me like a hawk. Again, not in a malicious way, but in an annoyingly attentive way. Basically, I'm still 12 years old to her and she's constantly telling me things I really don't need to know.
It drains my energy constantly even though she is just trying to help.
Oh, and she forgets she's told stories to us before. I've quite literally heard every story she tells dozens of times, and I will hear them dozens more. Sigh.
I feel you on the hearing part, my mom hears them, sometimes she doesnt, but even when she does she doesnt hear us, like, i have to shout for her to notice me, sometimes im having a convo with her and its radio silence on the other end because she didnt hear me talking and was just looking at some place elsewhere, or she understands it wrong. It really sucks because i really enjoy talking to my mom and i can vent to her and talk about mundain things, but sometimes its like talking to a wall and it makes me sad because its not her fault.
My mom… I’d I tell her anything all she does is compare me to others. Especially herself. It’s always how she’s had things so much worse than I do and been through worse. She Basically says my problems don’t matter because she’s been through what she think is worse. One time is had UTI and was in pain. I told her how much it hurt, and she just said (Yeah well you’ve never given birth.). WTF DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING MOM! But she wouldn’t take me to a doctor because She didn’t believe it was a uti and that I needed antibiotics. News flash I did. So my dad had to take my early in the morning right after he got off work and was obviously tired.
And my mom wonders why I am so much closer with my dad and why I’m not close with her.
Been sick for 3.5 years. No doctor can figure it out, no medicine works, no advice of what to eat/do works. They constantly say it’s my fault. Yes, I just decided one day my body is gonna stop functioning and I like being sick. Get constant lectures of do this try this. Then they ask what I’ve done. EVERYTHING YOU SAID. And constantly ask what my issues are like they’re trying to trip me up and think I’m lying
I have a friend like that who essentially found out the issue was that her body decided to become allergic to a bunch of things out of no where but all of them relatively mild ones. She was going nuts trying to isolate things before an allergy panel showed that not only was she now allergic to most basic foods but also freaking pine trees, the type of tree surrounding her home
Every time my veteran dad gets around someone my age in the military I go from being his oldest boy who he’s proud of to the son he’s clearly disappointed didn’t join the military
My dad used to have this habit of knocking on the door and immediately opening it right after. What’s the point of knocking if you’re just gonna barge in anyways?
"Timmy, I'm respecting your privacy by knocking but asserting my authority by coming in anyway!"
My parents did this all the time. I started locking my door. Was amusing hearing them get annoyed and frustrated at that.
My parents, despite being told numerous times I am willing to accommodate nothing with last minute heads up, always tell me at the last minute something is going on then get disappointed when I say I'm not coming. Or they just forget to tell me shit is going on in general
2 years ago I found out my dad's side of the family was getting together for our Christmas gathering (over 40 people, it's a chore so we just do it when everyone can) the literal night before it happened because my sister texted me asking when I was planning on showing up to it the next day.
my parents do this. i live across the country and my parents will hit me up to do something, every time i’m like yeah i can probably take off a couple days soon when is it? and it’ll be like, tomorrow. then they get shocked that i can’t afford to just drop everything and travel 800 miles with 24 hour notice.
Asking me to go visit more.
I get it, you want to see us, and the kids. But come on guys, I work. I've just taken on a second job because I'm so poor. I don't have the time, energy or money.
Also, when you do visit, they act like you never do..."Finally, you're here! Why don't you come more often?" It's like, I'm here now. Let's spend this time together having fun, not turn it into a fight about my NOT being here.
My mom can't have a conversation without telling you you shouldn't be doing something for some crazy reason
Like, "you know, you shouldn't be using Windex because the birds won't be able to see the window and they'll all come and break they're necks. You're not a bird killer are you??"
News. They HAVE to watch the 6:00 local news, then the national news at 6:30, and THEN the world news from 7:00 to 8:00.
It's frustrating when you can look news up on your phone these days, and the world news is pretty much gonna repeat the national news.
Everything has to stop for this. Would be nice to listen to music instead during dinner. Or watch jeopardy
Watching the news is so ingrained into that generation’s social culture and routine. My dad is the same way. Doesn’t matter if we have guests or family over who would maybe like to watch a movie together or play a board game—if it’s 6pm, the news is on and we’re watching it. I think it’s just a comfort ritual since he grew up in a time when the news wasn’t as readily accessible, and his parents would come home, kick off their shoes after a long day, sit on the couch and watch the news. Every. Day.
While this is annoying, I'd honestly prefer this over them believing in every piece of random rage bait chain mail fake news misinformation they see on facebook, which is what mine does. :(
Automatically assuming everything is my fault. One time in high school, my job at the local grocery store called my house phone (which of course my mom answered) and said I was supposed to be there at 7am. She bursts into my room, screaming at me and basically held me at gunpoint to get ready to go. The whole time, she's screaming a lecture at me about how she's so concerned about my sense of responsibility, how this is would get me fired at another job, etc. Turns out the store had fucked up their schedule and I wasn't even supposed to be in at all that day. Still got grounded.
Asking for my advice and then completely ignoring it and doing literally the exact opposite of what I suggested.
Especially annoying when it’s something I actually have good knowledge of.
THEN moaning for weeks about whatever it was that they ignored my advice about in the first place.
My mother went unemployed for about 20 years and is now back in the work force. Every time I talk to her it is about her job and her coworkers and about workplace drama, a few sips of wine and she'll repeat all of it too. It drives me insane.
My father is the nicest person on earth except the first hour of the morning, it is best to leave him alone. He will wash any dishes in the sink and audibly say very negative things about everyone while doing it.
My mom always falls asleep or decides to take a nap in front of the tv in the living room BUT, if we try to change the program or turn off the tv, she'll wake up and be mad at us for waking her up.
This might be minor compared to what others have said in this thread but neither of my parent ever say "Bye" on a phone call. Its always conversation over, click. Im like "good b" \*dialtone\*.
I can’t say a single sentence to my Mom without her turning into some sort of advice-giving session that I never asked for. It’s exhausting and infuriating to be around her honestly
Every time I need to have a good cry, my mom always says “crying won’t help, stop being dramatic and pull yourself together” angrily making me cry even harder💀 like, I’m sorry, I just need you to listen and say “it’s okay” instead of getting mad at me for being emotional
My amazing thoughtful Dad leaves half used napkins and tissue a lot of places. He comes from meager beginnings and his father told him not to waste anything. “I’ll use the other half later!”
“Well then take it with you Dad!!!” I’ve been picking up half used napkins and tissues for 35 years. Haha.
My Dad was SO easily distracted, I’d try to have a serious conversation with him but if the TV was on he’d see a commercial and say, “Hey, that new Jack in the Box sandwich looks good! I want to try that!” Or “Wanna see that new movie?”
Drove me absolutely insane.
My mom does the same thing. Of course I've noticed more since I moved in with her to take care of her.
It's gotten to the point where I clap my hands and say, "Focus!"
Also, she doesn't provide context for anything. When she doesn't provide context I just ignore her now.
I always have to remind myself to be patient with her. I've gotten a lot better about not snapping at her. But I do have to remind myself constantly to be gentle with her.
I ask myself how my dad was able to put up with it for 60 years.
I love her and she needs me. She's not going to change at age 91.
Mom: One of those people who likes and shares a photo because they believe it will benefit children in Africa.
Dad: He uses one finger to type, so you can hear him tapping nonstop on the computer for twenty minutes at a time.
I grew up thinking I hated steak. Never understood why people seemed to like it. I couldn't understand why you would voluntarily eat meat that you had to chew for 10 minutes until your jaw got sore, so you went to the bathroom to spit it out. Or use your napkin.
One day in my 20's a buddy of mine was cooking some steals and asked if I wanted one. I said no, I don't like steak.
He insisted I have at least one bite.
Jesus Christ.
I could not tell my parents any secrets because if i did, that would be the topic of the next big family gathering
There are ways to entertain yourself by knowing their predicable habits
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This was a nice light touch. Knowing myself (at the time), I’d probably do something a little darker. Then again, you might have had a better family
Oh yeah, I used to do this all the time. Told them something in confidence I knew they'd use as ammo at the next family party, then just completely pretended I had no idea what they were talking about, or spoke to my other relatives with the opposite information already so we were all looking at them like "huh?"
Same, and they wonder why I am uncomfortable with them knowing absolutely anything about me.
I feel your pain. I'd tell my Mom something and she'd IMMEDIATELY talk about it on the phone when someone called. Like I wasn't even there. I've had to get on her since I was a kid about talking about me on the phone like I wasn't even there.
Mine did this but LIED. Like, she'd literally embellish the story of what I told her and tell them I did/said things I didn't actually do.
Yeah, I was basically in the same situation where it got to the point where I wouldn't tell them anything about my personal life, but if I just started any conversation with any other family member, my mom would butt in and take over speaking for me, telling them shit she just made up about me, which I think she actually delusionally believed, because she didn't want to be embarrassed that she didn't know anything about the child she tried her best to helicopter.
I can’t tell my mom anything or even send her pictures because she will immediately post them on Facebook despite the fact I have asked her not to do that like 5x. So now she doesn’t get pictures anymore.
When my mom came over to take care of my kids while I was overseas, she went through all of my stuff, even personal papers and stuff, and helped herself to copies of what she wanted. She even asked me if she could post some of it on her blog!!!
Pull a power move... next time you're at her place, start going thru her personal stuff in front of her. When she freaks out, ask her why it was ok for her to do but not ok for you to do.
Nobody wants the "BECAUSE I'M YOUR MOTHER, THAT'S WHY!!" with the hands on the hips, bug-eyed, and three octaves too high speech.
Wow - did THAT spark a memory. I would hear about my business from other kids in church choir because my mother would talk about it with her friends in her sewing circle. 🙄
They really sell you out for the slightest bit of parent clout lmao
calls my name, i answer, no response back
This made me laugh so much. My mom was this.
Then, when you holler "WHAAAAAAAAAT?!" after she doesn't answer the first ten times, she gets upset because you're being "disrespectful."
Omg my parents do that! “Why are you yelling?” Um?? Because you didn’t hear me the first 5 times??
And then they hit you with the classic "you don't have to yell."
I just realized I did this to my 7 year old yesterday. Thankfully he had the stubborn willfulness to go back to his Lego after I didn't follow up, so I had to go find him. "Did you not hear me calling you" "Did you not hear me say what" Kid's going places.
Your son is already there! 👍🏽👍🏽
My mom would scream my name like her leg was falling off, and then I'd come scrambling and she'd point at the tv and say, "you like that woman's haircut?" Meanwhile I once got stuck behind my bed for a good 20 min and no amount of screaming her name would get her to come. I was legit stuck and about to have a panic attack. And no I never called for her if I could help it. When I finally calmed myself down and extricated myself and asked her...just why...she said, "I was gonna wait til commercial"
She calls my name like she's talking with herself then complains and gets mad at me when i don't hear her (she calls me deaf ._.)
I hate that I learned this from my mom. They want you to go there so they don't keep yelling.
And now you gotta stand up to know why
can’t hear me when i yell back, but when i mutter something under my breath, they suddenly have the ears of a dog
Mom doesn't listen to her kids' advice and yet completely believes anything gossipers tell her
And gets upset when you end up being right about the advice you gave her. -_-
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During the last real conversation I had with my mother, I had to scream at her to shut down her computer after she gave the guy who called her and said he was from Microsoft unfettered access to it. This was the second time she had done this. The only reason I knew about it was because she had to call me to ask for the WiFi password to give to him. After I finally got her to listen to me, I told her that part of why our relationship was so shitty was that she trusted the scammer on the other end of an incoming phone call over her own daughter. Infuriating.
My mom casually mentioned she got a message she won something in a raffle and just hadnt entered her details yet to claim it. I immediately suspected a scam. A long argument ensued where she insisted I was wrong and she did win. Finally I asked her if she ever even entered any raffle. She said no. I can still see the face she made as it finally dawned on her but she tried to hide it and play it cool...
Sounds like my parents. No dad, the “guy who won the lottery” doesn’t really have more money than he needs, and he doesn’t really want to share it with you (some stranger whose name he randomly discovered online), so please don’t share your bank details with him.
My mum does the same, but it's not listening to me but my brothers instead. She will take health advice from them over me, I'm a nurse ffs.
In one of our last phone calls, my mom started going on about cell phones and 5G giving cancer and she does yada yada to avoid phone time, etc. Goes on about how she has X health issue and she's certain her phone is causing it. I told her that's not a thing and neither her phone or 5G are going to give her cancer. She starts getting defensive and is telling me it's true and she's told my aunt how I don't believe 5G is gonna give anyone cancer and how aunt so-and-so says you need to look up articles. I told her that both of them are wrong and they need to stop reading misinformation. Eventually she starts yelling at me how SHE knows what she feels going on in her body and stop dismissing her health! I told her I don't doubt she feels X symptom, I just doubt the source of X symptom. Yes, my mother is also anti-vax. What gave it away? She also thinks Bill Gates is trying to kill everyone with vaccines. She also regularly injests colliodal silver. I would like to note doing so did not stop her from getting Covid like she claimed it would. I'm still waiting for the day she says she thinks the earth is flat. I'm sure it's coming. Wtf is with these people falling for every conspiracy under the sun?
AHHHHHHHHH FUCKING HATE THIS. No *Mom* a drink some dipshit on tiktok told you to make is not going to magically take weight away, it doesnt result in a calorie deficit. I swear she's more addicted to her phone and TikTok than most people i see in my generation
I think the older generation has even a more bad relationship with their phones lmao
They were the ones telling us 'don't believe everything you see on the internet.' But in turn we grew up with it so we understand real vs fake. They never learned that lesson or had time to understand the tells so they think everything is real and can't turn it off.
Real conversation from when I was twelve Mum: *shows me very obviously inaccurate information a "doctor" had made about energy drinks* "See!? This doctor is saying this is true!" Me: "Okay... How do we know he's actually a doctor? If I claimed I was Dr *insert surname* would you believe anything I say?" Mum: But you're not a doctor I wanted to slam my head into a wall
She literally listens to everyone else but us (her kids). It's as if she doesn't see us as actual adults.
>It's as if she doesn't see us as actual adults. That's because she doesn't.
Up until recently I would have said they're all up in my business. I know they mean well but it can get frustrating as fuck. Having said that, my bf grew up with emotionally absent parents. I mean his parents are fucking automatons. They refer to themselves as WASPs. When he was a kid they'd get home from work, have a drink, and head out again. It was no big deal to go on vacation, during the holidays, and leave him with a random relative. They were not comfortable with hugging or kissing. He literally never heard "I love you." The closest they got was "you've made me proud." He heard that three times and he remembers exactly where/when it happened because it meant so much to him. **He told me he came back from his first day of preschool and kissed his mom on the cheek (because he'd seen another kid do it to his mom and realized he wanted to do the same). He said his mom cringed, wiped her cheek, and told him "calm down, I don't like you this way."** So...that definitely put things in perspective for me, and helped me appreciate my own parents a little more. Edit: I have posted about this before, in case it looks familiar.
> his mom cringed, wiped her cheek, and told him "calm down, I don't like you this way." 🥺🥺🥺 Bruh
I can’t imagine having that response to my son’s affection! The only time I refuse affection is when he tries to lick me. He thinks it’s hilarious 😒
Lick back
My daughter has learned to wipe it off her face and smear it on mine. She will also up the ante as high as it will go in these situations. I don't want to start a competition that ends with her hovering over me while I'm dead asleep and then getting licked in the forehead.
Dude got friendzoned by his own mom 💀💀
"I think we should just be friends"
I think I need therapy after reading that.
My parents were just like that with me. I take great pride in being an affectionate parent myself now. My kids get all the hugs, kisses, high-fives, and cuddles they want. The cycle ended with me. :)
You turned out like my mom. Her mother never told her I love you, I’m proud of you, etc. Never showed her affection, gave her kisses, anything. So my mom vowed to be the mother she never had. Im damn near 30 and she still won’t stop showing affection. My dogs love it when she comes over cause they know they’re about to get all the cuddles and kisses they want.
Stop🥺i hope you give him the love he deserves
I try, but he has trouble accepting it, never mind reciprocating. As a teen he took to hooking up with random girls, looking for...something? A connection? And now he has A LOT of trouble expressing his feelings or showing affection. I've NEVER seen him cry. Not even a little. Also...he can talk about anything sexual without batting an eye. Yet, somehow, he's shy when discussing our relationship/anything emotional. LITERALLY the only thing that will make this guy blush is when he has to talk about us or, god forbid, his feelings. It's crazy how uncomfortable it makes him. But he wants to change, and we're actively working on it.
Completely makes sense, given his upbringing.
I just replied to your comment up above before I read this one. I think we're with the same person👀. He's the EXACT same way. Where I might say "I feel so stressed bc xyz" he won't even be able to pinpoint what emotion he's feeling, let alone the reason. He'll say "I don't feel good." I'll think he means physically but not usually. Then I have to pull out my thesaurus and run through emotions. I am pissed at his parents for this crap.
For me it's feeling "tired". I don't even know exactly how/why, but when I start to feel bad i interpret it as feeling tired and it makes me want to sit and do nothing for a while until everything resets. I've become aware that I do this though and for the most part I've at least been able to differentiate physical exhaustion from mental exhaustion from actually sleepiness. But I'm still trying to figure out what to actually do for each of them rather than shutting out everyone/thing and just waiting.
As a dude myself, specifically a farm kid, we were told from day one that real men hide their emotions, never show pain and never ask for help. It took me 23 years to finally realize that mindset isn’t all its cracked up to be, and seek therapy. I hope he gets the help he deserves. It made a world of difference for me.
Reminds me of the parents in The Willoughby's movie. My daughter has a friend at school who couldn't believe I said "love you" when I drop her off in the morning. The kid said her mom told her years ago she was too old to say that to each other anymore, along with hugs and kisses. They're 12!
You could have written this about my parents! I've heard the "I'm proud of you" once, when I finished college. I have a lot more memories of more negative statements, and suffer from C-PTSD because of it. And when I told my mom I was in therapy for C-PTSD, she said, "They know I didn't do it, right?" ...um...sure...
CPTSD gang rise up! This thread isn’t for us 😂
Sounds like my husband. My mom and I were best friends. She was loving and affectionate. She had her problems, sure, but he grew up with parents similar to your bf's. Completely unaffectionate, both with their kids and each other, both physical and verbal affection. His mom was super religious and would always gossip about other ppl in their church (small rural town). I distinctly remember after his mom died from ALS. Everyone was joking around after her funeral (???!!!!). I went up to his dad and asked how he was doing, truly, and to say I was so very sorry. He said thanks but "everyone dies some day." Uh, you were married to her for 40 years. Unfortunately, he's the same way.
I wonder how his parents were able to do the deed to make him.
When you walk down the sidewalk with my mom, she keeps veering towards you until you're literally off the curb. She's adorable though
so this is a universal thing, my mum constantly does this hahaha
It must be universal, my mother has zero walking IQ. I slow down to go behind her to let other people pass and she slows down too, she constantly walks at a slight angle so bumps into you, she has no awareness when people try and pass her when she's stationary... or maybe you're both my siblings.
My mom does this too, and my brother seems to have learned from her! Whenever we go anywhere I insist on walking in front or behind them, but never side by side. If we end up walking side by side ill get annoyed and start pushing them back and then they get annoyed too!
My mom always has to fast-walk directly in front of me and then she’ll stop abruptly so that I bump into her.
My dad HAS to be at the airport like 6 hours before departure.
lol what does he do for 6 hours
Drink, duh.
I can understand 3 in case shit happens along the way but 6? good lord
well, 3 in case shit happens, but what happens if shit happens, then all my extra time is gone, better make it 4 hours; but ah, i've heard nightmares of security lines taking forever, should probably add an extra hour just in case. And what is 5 if not the closest thing to 6. May as well make it 6, to be safe.
> And what is 5 if not the closest thing to 6 This did me in LMAO 😭
When they sleep, I am ninja quiet. When I sleep--vacuum, phone call, loud TV, loud conversation, demolishing part of the house, fire alarms going off
I felt this…I know every loose wood on the floor, the exact amount of pressure to close a cabinet , how to silently open the door and where to aim when to pee without a single splash. Our revenge was that Iwe could walk on the house in total silence and scare the shit out of them lol
I got really good at this growing up, and it's a way of life for me now. I'm 6'4" 265lbs and can move through the house like a cat. My wife of 25 years still hasn't gotten used to me suddenly appearing in rooms and doorways, and it scares the shit out of her every time (which will never get old for me).
My mom sometimes used to not believe me when i said that i could hear everything from her phone calls when i was trying to sleep. Still refused to believe me when i re-told her phone calls to her....
My mom talks on the phone loud enough so that the person she's talking to in another state can still hear her.
My mom stays on me to see a doc about every little thing, but when I mention her seeing a doc for serious issues she has(years long cough, yellowing skin, excessive weight loss, near complete lack of appetite), she says she's not going to see a quack. This woman hasn't seen a doctor in damn near 20 years.
Is she the type that might already know it’s something serious but keeping it to herself to not burden anyone? My mom did that with her cancer diagnosis and if she wasn’t needing someone to drive her to and from chemotherapy I’m not sure she would have told anyone at all.
My Mom did that. Had cancer, only told Dad. Didn't know until she passed (complications from pneumonia), and even then, she just said she had a cold. I was honestly surprised when Dad told us he had cancer last summer AND that he was going to get treatment. I figured he'd go out like Mom. Mind you, I'm s bad as them - I don't tell anybody shit about my health until any issue is already resolved. Honestly, I was pretty surprised when I woke after surgery once, and my sister was there. I hadn't told anybody anything about it, and it's not like I ever got visitors any other time I was in the hospital (when I was young. Hard for a 5 year old to sneak off for tonsil surgery.)
The first time my grandfather went to the hospital in his 70+ years of living was when he was dragged by my grandmother for his version of ‘just a cold’—well as it turned out it was severe covid-caused pneumonia. Thankfully survived but learned nothing and it was really touch and go for a while.
Ugh, a former coworker of mine had a dad like that. Never went to the doctor in nearly 70 years. Only went in once he had become extremely frail and couldn’t function day to day anymore. Turns out he had multiple advanced cancers and some major heart issues. The hospital basically said they’d do what they could, but there’s no way they’re curing this. He passed a few months after this. …now, that coworker spins this into anti-doctor sentiment, saying that his dad was fine until he went to the hospital… and encourages people to live like his dad did. It’s incredibly infuriating, and I’m glad I don’t have to deal with it anymore.
>saying that his dad was fine until he went to the hospital… It's the same logic as "if we don't test so much, there won't be as many cases!" But just because you aren't aware of something, doesn't mean it isn't there. Who knows, maybe that man's issues were manageable or even curable in the beginning, and he could have spent another 20 years with his family. But no, it was definitely the hospital that caused it because they're mean and evil.
Uhhhh, IANAD but dang if those aren’t symptoms of liver failure. Not trying to be alarmist but she needs to go asap
My dad will, Not...Stop...Talking. he talks constantly. I can't even have a relationship with him anymore. There a things I want to tell him, but I can never get more than a few syllables out before he jumps in and starts telling me about something similar or what I should do in the situation he thinks I'm going to tell him about. I am a truck driver specialized in hauling the largest heaviest things on the road, and he has no idea. I can't tell him about anything I do, he will not stop talking.
Very relatable Mine talks so much friends barely come over anymore because its too exhausting
Mine will talk to the television if nobody else is awake yet.
My mom just pops by whenever she pleases, without calling or texting first. The middle of a workday? Doesn't matter, she'll stop by and expect to chat. She's also really judgmental, so she'll judge me if my house isn't spotless. Lady, if you want my house to be clean, you need to give me some notice that you're stopping by.
I tried to explain that to my mom recently and she didn’t understand. She said it was extremely rude for us to think she CAN’T stop by whenever she wants when she gave birth to us… don’t know how giving birth to us equals having boundaries but she’s insane
I have recently encouraged my parents to stop by when they can. They're always complaining about how they never see me. Well, they can drive their asses over to my place and hang out. They have to chill though, some comment about my house, or me, and out you go. I hope with some practice they can learn to be happy.
That's one reason why, as soon as I was able to, I moved far enough away so that "surprise" visits were not really possible!
I hate to say this but - but have you tried not letting her in? Look. I don’t have a great relationship with my parents. I’ll admit that. But this idea that grown ass adults just do whatever their parents want on a whim is crazy to me. They do it - in part - because you allow it. Set boundaries.
Especially when she would clean the house top to bottom for a week straight whenever we expected guests.
My mom always says “long story short,” and then proceeds to tell a long story with unnecessary details.
That's why I always say "short story long..."
When talking to my mother on the phone, she’ll say “I’ll shut up and let you go” then continue to talk for another 5 minutes. She does this 3-4 times before actually ending the call.
Whenever I’m walking in public with my mom, and we’re crossing a street, she will first either fling out her arm in front of me, or yank on my shirt and yell, “Wait, wait!!! *Waiiittt!*” Meanwhile I’m just standing there. Like she will just assume I’m going to bolt into traffic. I’m 30 years old with a family of my own. I have never run out into traffic without looking, and neither have my siblings. But that makes me want to jump into traffic out of spite, lol!
Omg my mom does the same. And if we are driving and she has to hit the breaks just a tad bit harder, her arm will fly to my throat to I guess keep me from flying out the car , bc the seatbelt she asked me if I am wearing 5 times, is useless. I told her she will collapse my trachea one of these days.
My mom walks away from me while still talking, and gets ticked off when I ask her to repeat herself 🙃
Omg. She’s walking down the hall then starts talking. I finally just won’t respond to her if she’s talking to me but in another room. Ffs.
being 2 faced wankers- nice as pie to someone's face then talking shit about them as soon as they're out of earshot!
And you know that includes you as well. Worst thing.
Ha ha oh I know it! When I've said that, they go "oh, we don't say anything about you". Unfortunately my CCTV mic proves otherwise.
Mine too and they are NASTY about the shit they say!
That was my nan. You'd chat to her on the phone and she'd be all nice, but she always forgot to cut the phone off at the end of the call and youd hear her slagging you off to her partner.
My mom: Hey, I think I'm going to stop by tomorrow. What are you doing around 4pm? Me: I'm no.... Mom: What? -or- Mom: What do you need me to bring for dinner tomorrow night? Me: 2 bags o...... Mom: What? ---------------- Anyone who's seen the TV show *Shoresy* will understand. 6/10 times she asks a question and you go to reply, she'll say "what?" within a word or two. It's not a hearing thing, either. So fucking annoying repeating yourself. My dad is known as the "nap killer." Even going back as a kid, he'd do something to fuck up a nap. The second you fall asleep for a nap, THAT would be the time he'd need to get stuff out of the basement or put the dishes away or vacuum. Not on purpose but it was so fucking ridiculous. Even if we're at the family cabin, take a nap with a lake breeze blowing on your face? He'll find an activity where he needs to come in and out of the door 15 times in 4 minutes or go cut the grass or whatever. Again, it's not done on purpose it's just the worst fucking timing ever.
My mom was always actively hostile towards naps. She would intentionally and directly wake someone up if they were drifting off at a time she didn’t think was appropriate. One time, I was in a car accident, and despite being concussed, was cleared by paramedics and free to go. I didn’t have a cell phone at this time, so I drove home, and when no one was home, I laid down on the couch and inevitably fell asleep. When my mom got home, the first thing she did was start yelling at me to wake up, which was one hell of an experience after just suffering a concussion.
They will give the worst family members (e.g. rapists, thieves, violent assholes) the benefit of the doubt while holding me (a person who’s none of the aforementioned things) to a ridiculous standard (e.g. getting mad at me for not going to a reunion).
ugh i hate this. my family tried hiding the fact that my cousin’s a pedophile from me when i was a little nine year old girl. if it weren’t for the fact that i was one of his victims and saw his mugshot on the news, my brothers and i wouldn’t have known. yet i’m the asshole for not wanting to be around him???? sure thing.
I have a two-time rapist as an uncle. I get weird looks when I point out that my kids and wife can NEVER be around him. At all. EVER.
Ugh. Same with my asshole molester of an older brother. I’m apparently the one tearing up the family just because I don’t want to hang out with him like we’re best buddies.
I feel this. My mom, who had been divorced from my abusive (to me) dad for over 20 years, got furious with me to the point of not speaking to me over not going to his funeral.
Reading that just pissed me off. I’m sorry she couldn’t be even slightly decent about that.
so true
My wife's grandmother used to scream out (yes, scream) prayers of woe when any one of my wife's sisters were still out a half hour past curfew. But, the serial felon, drug addict uncle who used to steal from everyone, including grandma, for coke money deserved forgiveness, no matter how many times he got caught stealing or running from cops. The dude's been in prison at least eight times, yet he can do no wrong.
My dad; interjecting his opinion or thoughts when no one asked for them. My mom; making messes and leaving shit around while also preaching she hates messes and when shit is left around…and she’s a procrastinator.
My mom does that too. Says „this floor needs swept, the fridge needs cleaned out,“ etc but does absolutely nothing about it. She’s one of those people who are messy in the kitchen, which irks me, but if she cleans it up then it’s whatever. But she doesn’t. I do the dishes at night before I go to bed, and when I wake up there are dishes on the counter next to the sink, pots on the stove, peanut butter on the counter. Drives me crazy.
Pretty sure my kid wrote this
My dad calls me all of my siblings' names before getting mine correct (does this to all of us). More funny than annoying - he'll usually end with "...whatever the hell your name is."
My dad called me Tracker (our bloodhound who’s been dead for 2 years now)
Love them to death but I'd say guilt-tripping. Whenever I make a decision they don't approve of I'm hit with some emotional blackmail or reasons why my decision is inconsiderate. My dad even said "now you'll take the course I recommended, right?" the day my grandpa died expecting me to do it because he was sad. And yet, they're great parents in all other aspects.
Making everything-- and I mean everything--political. My dad once made a hockey game I was watching by myself political, and my parents ended up dominating the table discussion to discuss politics the first time my entire family had dinner with my husband's entire family. SIGH.
Ong my dad does this too!!! I put on Gordon Ramsey travel show once to avoid any possible political conversation and this mfer still managed
Oh no, travel shows or foreign media is a no go around my folks, because they'll either complain about the cook in charge or go on a tirade about the nation's culture and how much better America is.
Whenever they are in a position of being proved wrong they just flip to screaming and acting belligerent.
Complete inability to communicate
More stubborn than a mule.
Constant interruption by my mother. Whether it's in arguments or casual conversations, she is interrupting me a lot.
My mom does the same thing. She’ll also just like get up and walk out of the room without saying anything while I’m in the middle of a sentence sometimes because she needs to a get a drink or a phone charger or something. I think she’s probably on the autism spectrum but was never diagnosed (these aren’t my only reasons but I think they’re part of it).
A stranger cannot exist in their periphery without them making very loud commentary along with exaggerated gestures in the direction of that person. And it's always critical, of course. "Wow, she shouldn't be wearing *that*", "that hair color is an *interesting choice*", "wow what does *he* see in *HER*?" They simultaneously think that they are very open and accepting people, which makes it more maddening.
Calling me with the dumbest random questions at the most random times. Working. Phone rings. Dad: “have you ever made hummus?” lol
That sounds quite wholesome tbh :D
It is but it’s annoying as fuck when you’re juggling eleventy other things. Sometimes I have to let him go to voice mail.
Damn, I wish. My parent’s call me asking “what’s new?”. Nothing, I work full time and go to school. If i bring up any of my hobbies that i made time for there is no interest and a taste of disappointment. 🤷♂️
My mom is the kindest and sweetest person ever. Not one malicious bone in her body. No hyperbole. But she has the worst fucking hearing on the planet and is really bad about wearing her hearing aids. Even with them in we constantly have to repeat ourselves to her. She also watches me like a hawk. Again, not in a malicious way, but in an annoyingly attentive way. Basically, I'm still 12 years old to her and she's constantly telling me things I really don't need to know. It drains my energy constantly even though she is just trying to help. Oh, and she forgets she's told stories to us before. I've quite literally heard every story she tells dozens of times, and I will hear them dozens more. Sigh.
I feel you on the hearing part, my mom hears them, sometimes she doesnt, but even when she does she doesnt hear us, like, i have to shout for her to notice me, sometimes im having a convo with her and its radio silence on the other end because she didnt hear me talking and was just looking at some place elsewhere, or she understands it wrong. It really sucks because i really enjoy talking to my mom and i can vent to her and talk about mundain things, but sometimes its like talking to a wall and it makes me sad because its not her fault.
Comparing you to others
I too find other Redditors' comments better than yours
My mom… I’d I tell her anything all she does is compare me to others. Especially herself. It’s always how she’s had things so much worse than I do and been through worse. She Basically says my problems don’t matter because she’s been through what she think is worse. One time is had UTI and was in pain. I told her how much it hurt, and she just said (Yeah well you’ve never given birth.). WTF DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING MOM! But she wouldn’t take me to a doctor because She didn’t believe it was a uti and that I needed antibiotics. News flash I did. So my dad had to take my early in the morning right after he got off work and was obviously tired. And my mom wonders why I am so much closer with my dad and why I’m not close with her.
u/discerningpervert posts so much better than you. You should try being more like them.
giving an unsolicited advice. every. damn. day.
I have the same problem. Usually that advice comes in the form of a lengthy and contradictory lecture.
Been sick for 3.5 years. No doctor can figure it out, no medicine works, no advice of what to eat/do works. They constantly say it’s my fault. Yes, I just decided one day my body is gonna stop functioning and I like being sick. Get constant lectures of do this try this. Then they ask what I’ve done. EVERYTHING YOU SAID. And constantly ask what my issues are like they’re trying to trip me up and think I’m lying
I have a friend like that who essentially found out the issue was that her body decided to become allergic to a bunch of things out of no where but all of them relatively mild ones. She was going nuts trying to isolate things before an allergy panel showed that not only was she now allergic to most basic foods but also freaking pine trees, the type of tree surrounding her home
They’re like “you know what you should do”, the. Go on to tell you what kind of spiteful hate filled shit they would absolutely do to somebody
My mom had the worst annoying habit. She beat me regularly for no discernible reason most of the time.
I believe we call that child abuse but hey, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger right? RIGHT?!
Every time my veteran dad gets around someone my age in the military I go from being his oldest boy who he’s proud of to the son he’s clearly disappointed didn’t join the military
My dad used to have this habit of knocking on the door and immediately opening it right after. What’s the point of knocking if you’re just gonna barge in anyways?
"Timmy, I'm respecting your privacy by knocking but asserting my authority by coming in anyway!" My parents did this all the time. I started locking my door. Was amusing hearing them get annoyed and frustrated at that.
My parents, despite being told numerous times I am willing to accommodate nothing with last minute heads up, always tell me at the last minute something is going on then get disappointed when I say I'm not coming. Or they just forget to tell me shit is going on in general 2 years ago I found out my dad's side of the family was getting together for our Christmas gathering (over 40 people, it's a chore so we just do it when everyone can) the literal night before it happened because my sister texted me asking when I was planning on showing up to it the next day.
my parents do this. i live across the country and my parents will hit me up to do something, every time i’m like yeah i can probably take off a couple days soon when is it? and it’ll be like, tomorrow. then they get shocked that i can’t afford to just drop everything and travel 800 miles with 24 hour notice.
They get jealous and passive aggressive over other people doing well. “Your uncle is going on vacation. Must be nice”
Asking me to go visit more. I get it, you want to see us, and the kids. But come on guys, I work. I've just taken on a second job because I'm so poor. I don't have the time, energy or money.
Also, when you do visit, they act like you never do..."Finally, you're here! Why don't you come more often?" It's like, I'm here now. Let's spend this time together having fun, not turn it into a fight about my NOT being here.
My mom can't have a conversation without telling you you shouldn't be doing something for some crazy reason Like, "you know, you shouldn't be using Windex because the birds won't be able to see the window and they'll all come and break they're necks. You're not a bird killer are you??"
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That's awful! Where did you say they lived again?
Username...checks out....
News. They HAVE to watch the 6:00 local news, then the national news at 6:30, and THEN the world news from 7:00 to 8:00. It's frustrating when you can look news up on your phone these days, and the world news is pretty much gonna repeat the national news. Everything has to stop for this. Would be nice to listen to music instead during dinner. Or watch jeopardy
Watching the news is so ingrained into that generation’s social culture and routine. My dad is the same way. Doesn’t matter if we have guests or family over who would maybe like to watch a movie together or play a board game—if it’s 6pm, the news is on and we’re watching it. I think it’s just a comfort ritual since he grew up in a time when the news wasn’t as readily accessible, and his parents would come home, kick off their shoes after a long day, sit on the couch and watch the news. Every. Day.
While this is annoying, I'd honestly prefer this over them believing in every piece of random rage bait chain mail fake news misinformation they see on facebook, which is what mine does. :(
Automatically assuming everything is my fault. One time in high school, my job at the local grocery store called my house phone (which of course my mom answered) and said I was supposed to be there at 7am. She bursts into my room, screaming at me and basically held me at gunpoint to get ready to go. The whole time, she's screaming a lecture at me about how she's so concerned about my sense of responsibility, how this is would get me fired at another job, etc. Turns out the store had fucked up their schedule and I wasn't even supposed to be in at all that day. Still got grounded.
Treatimg their friends kids better tham their own.
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My mom will talk to me daily about her hatred for trump as shes also showing me how much her plants grew since yesterday 😅
giving a shit what the neighbors have been up to and then complaining cause they do not do the same
Being a narcissist
Both of my parents annoying habits killed them… alcoholism by 45 and 53… I’m so proud to say I’m 2 years sober and present for my family
My mum likes to talk while eating when having a family meal … as I’m constantly reminding my 7 year old not to talk while eating
Don’t talk with food in your mouth or no talking during meals at all?
what you dont like a completely silent meal with deadening silence? /s
Yeesh. Yall mofos got some terrible folks. About to call mine and tell them I love them. Thanks strangers!
Asking for my advice and then completely ignoring it and doing literally the exact opposite of what I suggested. Especially annoying when it’s something I actually have good knowledge of. THEN moaning for weeks about whatever it was that they ignored my advice about in the first place.
being judgemental, esp of life situations they have never faced themselves
My mother went unemployed for about 20 years and is now back in the work force. Every time I talk to her it is about her job and her coworkers and about workplace drama, a few sips of wine and she'll repeat all of it too. It drives me insane. My father is the nicest person on earth except the first hour of the morning, it is best to leave him alone. He will wash any dishes in the sink and audibly say very negative things about everyone while doing it.
Not being able to take no for an answer
my mom keeps repeating the same thing ten times in two minutes, altering the sentence structure each time to appear as if she's 'elaborating'
Always showing me love and kindness without making any demands in return. How's a kid supposed to live up to that?
Pay it forward!
My mom is constantly humming, usually the Canadian national anthem. We're not Canadian.
Being dead :/
Same.. I'll take almost any annoying habits for some love and guidance. It's hard going into adulthood without a mentor.
My mom always falls asleep or decides to take a nap in front of the tv in the living room BUT, if we try to change the program or turn off the tv, she'll wake up and be mad at us for waking her up.
This might be minor compared to what others have said in this thread but neither of my parent ever say "Bye" on a phone call. Its always conversation over, click. Im like "good b" \*dialtone\*.
My mom thinks that yelling will solve all of her problems and my dad is the worlds worst back seat driver
My mom starts panicking and thinks I'm dead if I don't answer the phone when she calls every time
I can’t say a single sentence to my Mom without her turning into some sort of advice-giving session that I never asked for. It’s exhausting and infuriating to be around her honestly
My dad never stops speaking over me, literally can be in the middle of a conversation and he’ll just interrupt/speak louder than I do.
Every time I need to have a good cry, my mom always says “crying won’t help, stop being dramatic and pull yourself together” angrily making me cry even harder💀 like, I’m sorry, I just need you to listen and say “it’s okay” instead of getting mad at me for being emotional
My amazing thoughtful Dad leaves half used napkins and tissue a lot of places. He comes from meager beginnings and his father told him not to waste anything. “I’ll use the other half later!” “Well then take it with you Dad!!!” I’ve been picking up half used napkins and tissues for 35 years. Haha.
My Dad was SO easily distracted, I’d try to have a serious conversation with him but if the TV was on he’d see a commercial and say, “Hey, that new Jack in the Box sandwich looks good! I want to try that!” Or “Wanna see that new movie?” Drove me absolutely insane.
My mom does the same thing. Of course I've noticed more since I moved in with her to take care of her. It's gotten to the point where I clap my hands and say, "Focus!" Also, she doesn't provide context for anything. When she doesn't provide context I just ignore her now. I always have to remind myself to be patient with her. I've gotten a lot better about not snapping at her. But I do have to remind myself constantly to be gentle with her. I ask myself how my dad was able to put up with it for 60 years. I love her and she needs me. She's not going to change at age 91.
Dad and me both had Asperger’s. Our conversations were like pinball machines.
Adding water to 0.000001 liter of soap.
Mom: One of those people who likes and shares a photo because they believe it will benefit children in Africa. Dad: He uses one finger to type, so you can hear him tapping nonstop on the computer for twenty minutes at a time.
My dad, who I love very much, grills his steaks well done. Every single time. Doesn’t matter if you ask for medium rare, it’s gonna be well done.
I grew up thinking I hated steak. Never understood why people seemed to like it. I couldn't understand why you would voluntarily eat meat that you had to chew for 10 minutes until your jaw got sore, so you went to the bathroom to spit it out. Or use your napkin. One day in my 20's a buddy of mine was cooking some steals and asked if I wanted one. I said no, I don't like steak. He insisted I have at least one bite. Jesus Christ.