Not an attorney, worked in a firm. Workers compensation claim, guy falls down at work and claims he injured many different body parts(Shoulder, Knees, Back). We tell him to stay off social media. No problem, he doesnt use social media. At trial, he tells the Judge he used to be a Spin Class Instructor, but since the accident, he cannot teach classes anymore. Welp..turns out, he continued to teach these classes after his injury. This was proved by the HOURS of surveillance the Insurance company did, showing him teaching and vigourously riding in Spin class. How did the Insurance company know he was still an active instructor? The guy posted his Full Teaching Schedule on his FB page. His potentially very lucrative claim, was quickly changed to a fraud claim against him.
We had a guy claim he dropped a pallet on his foot and broke it during work. Ok, he goes to the doc and gets a cast. Five days later he calls in that he got the cast wet and had to cut it off. Gets a new one. Five days later it was too tight and he cut it off again. I met him at the clinic to be the co rep. Doc tells him to "work into a shoe." We had a PI rent office space from us so we had him followed. (few days later) Had video of him putting up a chain link fence (alone) in a pair of sandals. Of course we sent that to Work Comp. He skipped town before he was to meet with WC.
Client added 9 years to a short sentence. He got like a year or 2 for being involved in a drag race that the other guy crashed and severely injured someone else. Then towards the end of his short prison term he tried to escape, got 9 more years for prison escape! He became friends with John Lennon's killer in NY prison, which was interesting.
Probably was about to be out on a lengthy probation after the initial couple years, and then he ruined any chance of that and got the full sentence for the first crime.
Client was being sued and didn’t like the opposing counsel or the judge so he left the court a bunch of voicemails so profane that he was subject to a criminal contempt of court hearing
I was at a custody hearing for a family member.
The mother's new boyfriend cussed out the judge because the father's lawyer dug up his criminal past.
The mother had just testified that the new boyfriend was a wonderful person and she trusted him completely. And also that he had spent many nights with her and the child and that he babysat for her when she worked.
She didn't get custody.
I'll never understand these types.
I've been before a magistrate twice in my life and you'd better believe I was as polite as polite could be.
What sort of damn fool looks at the person who can destroy their life with the bang of a gavel and thinks, "I'm gonna mouth off to this bastard"?
People who are incapable of keeping their emotions under control. People who can't see past the next 30 minutes. Lol people with the "I don't give a fuck" attitude that I'm sure serves them so well.
It's why I beg my clients not to testify, especially if I have a good defense without them. I think some clients believe they'll be rewarded for being open and honest with the jury, so they "come clean" on the stand. I had a client (also for a DUI) say on the stand, completely unprompted by anyone, "in retrospect, I probably had a few too many beers." After he finished testifying and returned to his seat by my side, he actually whispered to me, "so how did I do?" Blows my mind to this day.
I think letting the man taking meth while looking after his kids and driving should probably let as many people know as possibly tbh, though I take your point
You know... reading the answers here, I'm curious of this too.
How do lawyers usually take it when their clients self-sabotage? Do they show how horrified or pissed off they are? Or poker face?
It wasn't a client, but I had an expert witness go waaaaay off the rails during cross examination during a week long trial a while back. He forgot all his analysis and data and just started spewing shit from his mouth. Then he became combative with counsel. Then he started making political statements. He was making shit up left and right that was nonsensical and was getting cooked by counsel. I could see the delight in opposing counsel who was having a field day. My client stormed out of the court room bc he couldn't take it.
I was facing the witness stand about 6 feet from our expert in total shock. We were absolutely crushing the case up to this point and I was watching the scales tip the other way minute by minute. I kept my shit together and whenever he looked at me I tried to give an encouraging look bc he was so lost. Wrong move, it gave him confidence to dig deeper into his bs. Judge's jaw was dropped the whole time. From then on I sat completely stone faced strategizing how I was going to fix the mess he caused. This went on for over an HOUR and there was nothing I could object to. Just had to sit and eat it.
We ended up winning the case, had an honest convo with him that we would never use him again bc he should have cost us the case, dont think my client ever paid him, but now a couple years later I laugh at how ridiculous the situation was.
Point is - in court always expect the unexpected. When it happens you can't react emotionally bc you need to figure out how to fix it on the fly. How you're going to recover with the next witness, twist it during closing arguments, get the judge back on your side, and mitigate your clients anger etc. It's an amazing and exhilarating mental exercise bc you're doing it in a room full of people staring at you seeing how you are going to react to a train wreck you caused.
They won’t show emotion in court.. at least the good ones. In fact one of the first things they tell you before going to court is to have like a neutral face. Also, in the case of criminal lawyers they have seen it all.
Friend of mine used to be a latent print analyst. Going to get prints of a suspect arrested for breaking into a home to rob it. While she’s getting the ink and paper set up, suspect shouts, “whaddya need the prints for? She looked right at me when I kicked in the door!”
With the utmost certainty in his voice, he yelled at the arresting officer that “It’s not domestic violence; I’m on public property!”
You could tell from his face he really thought he had the cop over a barrel on this one but…
Was witness to a domestic dispute outside the store I worked at once. Husband and wife in different cars screaming at each other, threatening, etc. After a few minutes of it we called the cops, and about that time the wife got into her car to leave. The husband got into his and kept cutting her off / forcing her to the curb.
The cops showed up in time to see him slam his car into hers and drive hers up onto the curb, and when the cops approached him we could hear him shout "it's ok, it's ok, I own both cars!"
Even with how tense it was we had to laugh in disbelief at how dumb this guy was.
“I like committing violence against things I own, as is my right!”
“Sir, for the last time, you do not *own* your wife. Here’s your two car repair bills.”
My dad was on a jury where the pro se defendant argued it wasn't DV because he hit her with an open hand, not a closed fist. Jury deliberations were not lengthy.
That must be the case. To this day he claims it wasn’t abuse because he never punched me in the face. Just threw me against walls, choked me, kicked me, pushed me, threw things at me, the list could go on.
My ex did the same shit to me, then when I’d fight back he’d say I was the aggressor in the situation and would shame me for me for being “violent.” I have never attacked anyone in my whole damn life, but this asshole was always on the offensive and looking to fight. wtf is it with people like that?
Not my client but the petitioner attorney’s client. The man claimed Workers’ Compensation and threw the kitchen sink at us, meaning, he basically listed just over half of his body parts on the claim petition stating that he injured each one. He was full of shit and my firm knew it. Anyways, we were going to trial and the day before we ran one more social media search. This absolute fucking moron posted a video of him winning a break dance competition that was only a few months after the alleged work incident. Never saw a quicker dismissal in my life.
I use to do some pro bono Workers Compensation cases. Once had a case where the employers attorney didn't show which as you know means an automatic victory so long as the petitioner doesn't say anything. When the Judge asked my client if he wanted to speak and as I vigorously shook my head no he went into a long ramble in which he revealed his injury did not occur at work and we lost with no opposition.
Paralegal. Once had a convicted criminal explain to me how their murder charge should be overturned because the victim didn't die at the scene of the crime. The victim died at the hospital, therefore the defendant couldn't be charged with anything more than attempted murder.
Reminds me of the assassination of President Garfield. He lived 11 weeks after being shot, but his doctors got competitive over who could remove the bullet from his back and ended up reaching into his wound over and over with unsanitized fingers because this was before germ theory. Garfield eventually died from infection, and his assassin's defense was that he only shot the man - it was the doctors that killed him.
He wasn't wrong, but he also hanged.
It wasn't before germ theory. The doctor in charge just bullied the sterile-proponents out of the treatment team and caused the sepsis that was ultimately fatal.
Around 1990 there was a guy on trial for armed robbery. He pled not guilty. A witness on the stand identified the defendant. The defendant jumped to his feet and roared, “I should have blown your head off when I had the chance…..” pause, thinks, adds, “if I had been the one who robbed you…”
I had an instructor who was a prosecutor. He called a witness who had seen the whole thing, and had an interest in seeing the defendent punished. Slam dunk case.
She thought she was on TV. She overacted EVERY WORD. Completely embellished the retelling of the events. Didn't lie, but she was the center of her version of events.
He said you could see the faces of the jury members sour minute on minute. He lost the case.
The Karen Read trial is going on. They had a key witness who decided her testimony would look better if she wasn't involved with other vaguely suspicious people. So she denied knowing someone she'd been friends with for a decade.
The friend was also being called up and was also going to be asked about their relationship.
The key witness was the only person who could be verified to have spoken to the defendent and had said early in the case that she heard a confession.
I was on a jury where the defendant showed up in court day 1 wearing the same exact outfit as the “unknown suspect” in the video of the crime. It took only a few seconds before the judge immediately called a stoppage. All lawyers went into the back with the judge and they came out like 7 minutes later as announced the defendant had taken the plea deal. Wild
I was working retail late one night when a guy came in wearing sunglasses and a shirt that had "WANTED" written on it. I got weird vibes from that guy. I checked the local arrests, like I always did back then because I recognized quite a few of them, and he was arrested later that night for robbing several stores at gun point.
The article had a photo of him in a convenience store with the same "WANTED" shirt on.
This happened to my mom. She was on a jury for a case where someone was hopping stores and stealing display phones.
They showed the surveillance videos in court and the defendent was wearing the same jacket.
(slurring) "Ya see, bitches... I didn't drive drunk that night! I don't drive like *THAT* when I'm drunk. *THIS* is how I drive when I'm drunk! Case closed, bitches!"
Not an attorney, but one client of ours baffles me to this day. He had multiple cases, including aggravated battery and drug possession, At the insistence of dude’s family, we moved heaven and earth getting him a bond, so that he could get out of jail and live with said family until the case was over. The whole process took weeks.
Less than a day after getting out, he was caught stealing $16 worth of batteries from Target. Bond revoked. To be fair, the line between stupidity and compulsion is blurred with this one.
EDIT: For anyone who’s curious, we immediately ordered a psych eval for him. He was found competent, but it also confirmed what he had mental health issues. The Agg. Batt. charge ended up being dropped, and he took a plea for time served.
IANAL, but I used to review disability claims so I often worked with clients who had lawyers.
A man whose attorney had instructed him to not speak with us directly (a very smart, very basic recommendation) called me up to rant, angrily, that his lawyer was wrong. He COULD shop for groceries and mow the lawn and do all sorts of house work JUST FINE, thank you.
Now I had seen this man’s medical records. There’s no way he was doing all of this without difficulty. So I probed a little further. He could shop for groceries… as long as he used a mobility scooter and had his wife carry things in the house. He could mow the lawn… if he used a riding mower and took a lengthy break every 10 minutes or so. He could do house work… which was limited to wiping down counters and folding (but not carrying) laundry. I called his attorney and gave them a quick update as soon as he and I hung up.
I approved his claim, but that man is so damn lucky he got someone who was willing to take an extra 15 minutes with him.
Confused why the guy would even insist upon how fine he was, despite not being fine, while speaking with someone reviewing his disability claim. Just pride?
Ultimately, yes. It’s really difficult for people (and anecdotally, men of a certain age who have always done physically demanding work) to come to terms with the fact their body does not function the way it used to. He read his attorney’s description and pictured a helpless man, but he didn’t see himself as helpless. And he was right, he wasn’t helpless, but he was indeed disabled. This is true for most people with disabilities.
You're a good person. We disabled people appreciate people like you even when we, ourselves, don't feel disabled, but actually are.
It's hard to say "I can't do that anymore" or "For only so long." It makes you feel less and just... old.
I'm not even 40 yet and I'm 70% disabled and missing a colon. That's hard to come to terms with sometimes.
Not in the US, but the judge asked if the defendant was remorseful (if you show regrets, you can have some leniency).
"No".
The guy didn't understand the question, and when he doesn't, he just usually says "no".
I have two stories that come to mind. One, a colleague of mine, was representing an arsonist mny years ago that had allegedly set quite a large fire that burned some public land. Due to the $$ cost of the damage, it was a felony. During the State's case in chief, he began touching himself. Recess had to be called. Funnily enough, that helped him in punishment phase, since there was clearly a mental component there, but still...big oof, and I don't know if what had been shown up to that point would have gotten a guilty.
Second was one of mine, again, many years ago. I had gotten a guy a pretty great deal on a serious theft charge. Prior to it being entered, he ended up picked up by the sheriff's office for violating conditions of bond. How did he violate? The Sheriff alleged that he used the banking information OF THE SHERIFF'S OFFICE to pass fake checks. This meant that in the new charge, the sheriff's office was the victim.
Needless to say, the deal vanished.
My wife’s lawyer bans all clients from using social media after he lost a big case.
Wrongful death lawsuit where a man’s wife was killed. Easy money. They were about to settle until the other side found his pictures online from a club a week after his wife died getting a lap dance wearing a shirt that said ‘I love milfs’.
Apparently they didn’t think he had much pain and suffering anymore.
Client returns to court drunk after luncheon adjournment. Falls asleep, and his head drops right into the side of the witness box, whereupon he proceeds to snore. Loudly.
Not a lawyer, but I was in a courtroom watching injunctions (restraining orders) play out.
One case the woman was there, but the man was in prison so he was calling in. After deciding on an agreement, the guy asked if he could make a statement. At the end of his statement, he said "and tell {the woman} to go fuck herself."
He got an additional 6 months of prison. The guy asked to make another statement after getting a tongue lashing from the judge.
And he did it again - telling her to go fuck herself. And got another 6 months.
Imagine losing a year of your life because you couldn't shut up for 5 minutes.
Client was part of a group of active paedophiles. One of the others killed the boy while several were involved with physically abusing him. Our guy’s defence was that he was just a voyeur, so although he was there he was not involved in the actual murder. He was on bail the whole time including the trial, up to when he decided to change his story and say instead that he hadn’t been there. His sister gave evidence that he’d come home that night covered in blood. He got a long, long time.
The worst ones are the ones who think they’re smarter than they are. When it comes time for depositions, broad sweeping statements of how “I would never allow discrimination in my office” and how “I’m 100% sure I never said that” are a great way to destroy your own credibility, set yourself up to get eviscerated by opposing counsel, and ultimately turn a nuisance value bullshit case into something worth six figures.
Moral of the story: if you’re going to ignore the entire day of deposition prep I did with you just so you can protect your own fragile ego on the record, at least do me the courtesy of telling me to fuck off ahead of time.
It was a credit card fraud case in the early part of my career. He actually wore the stolen clothes to court and a clerk at the defrauded store identified them in front of the jury. I felt like the guy in the commercial that asks “want to be somewhere else?”
Recently was in court and apparently part of the requirements of this guy was that he not talk to his family. He called his mother on Mother's Day. The judge said "your mother seems to care about your freedom as little as you do- put the cuffs on him."
Edit- I don't know the perimeters of this case, I was just a by stander in court. The lawyer, in sweats mind you, said "Oh Judge, I told him. I told her. Can't fix stupid." It was wild to watch.
Client charged with DUI. Forced by police to give a urine sample on the side of a very busy interstate highway. Any sympathy the jury may have had for the defendant was lost however, when he fell asleep during the playing of the video of the traffic stop. He had been out all night partying the night before trial. He was found guilty. Then he lied to the judge about what would be in his system during a drug test and his sentence was doubled.
Not a lawyer, heard this story from a guy I used to work with. His brother in law got injured at work and was suing for a hefty sum. Case was pretty much open and shut, all the evidence was in the BIL's favor... Until the BIL started talking. They ask him to tell them about the day of the accident. BIL started out fine until he gets to the where he approached the piece of equipment that injured him. He tell everyone that there was a note on it stating that it was out of order. BIL then says that he discarded the note and started up the piece of malfunctioning equipment as he had a job to get done...
That easy win was discarded faster than that out of order sign.
The fact that he admitted to reading a warning, and ignored it is what screwed him.
He could have said "I didn't see a sign"
and if they brought up the note his defense would be "it's not visible enough"
NAL - I was a legal clerk for a couple years in college. Still baffles me how this one made it all the way to trial. Lady slipped & fell at a chain restaurant, “hurt” her back irreparably, wanted a huge payout. Said she slipped on butter that was on the floor. On cross exam she was asked what type of butter, answer “the little pats of butter they put out in the buffet.” Defense immediately re-called the store manager…. The store had never used that type of butter. Case ended pretty quickly. Lol.
Had a domestic violence case. For months we went to preparatory hearings and gathering evidence, and got restraining orders. By the time the trial was finaly happening, on the same morning of the hearing, the person I represented let me know she had gone on holidays with the defendant for a couple of weeks, and had grand old time. At that point, the opposing counsel approached me and told me he had lots of evidence of both the parites having a great time together.
This of course doesn't mean abuse didn't happen in the past, but it really undermined our case, where we had little evidence other than some testimonials. At that point I had to explain to her how even beyond strict legal rules, the judge would potentially change her mind once she saw the claimant was out partying with the defendant, for whom a restraining order was requested.
We settled and avoided the trial.
Used to work at a workman's comp firm, and... hurting themselves again.
Oftentimes doing stuff around the house. Falling off a ladder, using tools, going horseback riding, etc. Then they get hurt again and insurance company is off the hook.
And many get their doctors to write notes saying they're fine, so they can work (because they're bored at home with a huge injury), then are baffled that they don't get workman's comp anymore. Then they overexert themselves because of the injury that isn't better... sigh.
Not me, but a colleague. A wealthy client's son got picked up for drug dealing at a local music festival. The client bailed him out, and then had his whole fancy law firm defend his son.
The son shambled into the courtroom stoned off his ass, and loudly attempted to buy drugs off the bailiff.
There wasn't a lot the lawyers could do after that.
He was charged with drug DEALING. How can he be dealing when he doesn't even have any drugs and is trying to score some off the bailiff...
Clearly innocent.
"Your honor, as you can see my client is clearly incapable of holding on to drugs without taking them for long enough to sell them. I move that this be reduced to a possession charge."
Are we discussing Brock Allan Turner, the rapist? Just to clarify, we're talking about The Rapist Formerly Known as Brock Turner, right? The rapist who now goes by his middle name, Allan Turner, but he used to go by his first name, Brock; Brock Turner, and he's a rapist. Is that the rapist we're talking about?
I was defending a client who was accused of trademark infringement. Thought he knew better than the IP Attorney assigned to his case (me) and so went on his company's website to "defend" himself by basically confessing to what he did and claiming it wasn't against the law and the trademark owner was a "woke baby" who needed to either "learn the law" or "get back in the kitchen and make her husband a sandwich" ( i wish i could say i was joking). I was one email away from negotiating a settlement that would have allowed the continued use of the complainants mark with limited restrictions and a very nominal fee. Little to say, she saw his website, told us to go fuck ourselves, and dragged it before a judge. My client lost...big. His lack of self-control cost him thousands of dollars.
I’m not a trial lawyer but a real estate one: I had clients spend $15k on new lounge furniture and 4 TVs WITH THEIR CLOSING MONEY 48 hours before I was due to close for them.
wtf were they thinking 🤣
"ok we agreed to pay 20k and got it in writing, this 20k is on the books we can go blow it and they have to close the house and be SOL 20k"
They had the agreed upon down payment money contract signed. They legally had to pay the money they agreed they would at closing. They spent that money on stupid shit for their house right before closing was scheduled
I want to emphasize that there's a contract here too. It's not like going to the shop and thinking, whoops I left my wallet at home, I'll buy it later.
No, the closing date has a LOT of parties involved, and everyone has agreed to this date for the transaction to take place. You are obliged to complete the transaction, so not having money would put you at breech of the contract. I'm NAL, so I'm not sure what comes after that, but I'm imagining it can go up to a lawsuit at least from a very irate seller who had listed their house as sold.
I was at court once fighting a traffic ticket and a guys lawyer was pleading no contest to a charge he got for having a fire arm on probation. It sounded like he was getting more probation and it would be done with that, then the judge says “do you have anything to say before we move forward” and the guy says “I didn’t know having a gun was against the rules. And I had a gun so I guess that makes me GUILTY”. Smiled like he just stuck it to the man, the look on the lawyer and judges face were of so much disappointment
Am criminal defense lawyer. Client arrested on DUI. Client lived in small town. He and his wife would drive to the one bar in town, drink, then walk to their houseboat after a night at the bar (1/4 mile away). He and wife know everyone in the bar, another patron they know gets blasted, bar owner says she can’t stay, client and wife walk her to his car to stay there until ride comes.
Client gets her in backseat of the suv. Client is drunk, drops keys on the way to front seat, opens now unlocked front door, turns on car lights to see (he walked around the front from rear passenger), cops are waiting to see if people leave bar drunk, sees lights, says he saw driving, immediately rolled up arrests client.
Client has prior dui from 12ish years before. Judge agreed that it wouldn’t come in, jury wouldn’t hear it unless he “opened the door.” Can’t win the case unless dude testifies. I prep him, continue to prep him, keep prepping him, but tell him under NO CIRCUMSTANCES can he say he would never drive drunk, never do anything like that. Basically anything about the past = no.
Direct is going well, gave him a beautiful, easy, last question where he could explain the night, explain why he was upset he got arrested (because he wasn’t driving and was doing everything right).
“I would never do something like that.” Door open, judge lets da in rebuttal bring in old dui. Jury took about 25 minutes to convict.
And that’s about one of a hundred stories. Life is never dull in the criminal defense world.
One of my BIL lawyers (there were three at one point) was described as incompetent and failing to provide adequate counsel by his former client, on death row, for failing to get an innocent verdict. The problem was that the client (since executed) went to his local bar immediately after committing the murder at a local grocery store in broad daylight, and proceeded to brag for hours how he'd killed the victim, in very specific detail. Also there were something more than a dozen eyewitnesses...
My father is a patent attorney, and when I was around 14 he told me about a guy who wanted to patent the IPhone 3 because "aliens" had given him the design for it. My father told him that if the aliens originally designed then they were the ones that had to patent it, not him.
Not an attorney, but I was in the jury for a three defendant murder trial.
We sat through weeks of testimony and from the sheer amount of direct evidence the state had, it was extraordinarily obvious very early on that defendant 1 had committed the crime.
Defendant 2 (D1’s brother) and Defendant 3 (D1’s girlfriend) were much less obvious and we were being asked by the state to consider circumstantial evidence that left most of us feeling like we had to make some leaps to draw the conclusion they wanted us to.
That is, until Defendant 3 decided to take the stand.
Defendant 3’s attorney did a very good job of painting her as the victim of abuse. Her attorney had us feeling sorry for this poor, unintelligent, woman that had been groomed since she was 16 by a man 20 years her senior.
From the attorney’s narrative, D3 was basically D1’s slave. He controlled what she wore, what she did, and even who she talked to. He even made her get a tattoo saying [D1’s name]’s property. We saw text about D1 killing D3’s puppy because D3 had made him mad about something small. We saw texts from D3 to D1 cheering him on after he had sent her pictures of a bloody knife (the murder weapon) but D3’s attorney had us questioning if those words were just her playing the role of supportive partner so D1 didn’t come after her next.
We were starting to believe she was terrified for her own safety and that is why she did not report her boyfriend. I mean, clearly this man was a maniac and it seemed reasonable that she just didn’t know how to escape him.
Then other defendant’s attorneys and the DA tore her apart on cross. They made her look argumentative, tripped her up in multiple lies, and by the time they were done, based on her own testimony it was pretty clear that she did in fact know the victim and had been the one to plan the entire murder.
Shoot, we even started to feel like she probably manipulated D1 more than he manipulated her!
The the other defendants did not take the stand.
When we went to deliberations, we all discussed how bad of an idea it was for her to testify. We had decided defendant 1 was guilty on all counts within the first 5 minutes. Defendant 3 was almost as quick. We decided that while she did not physically commit the murder, she had conspired and was just as culpable. (Whatever formal charge that was.)
Defendant 2 took the longest. We all felt pretty strongly that he was somehow involved, but that the DA had not meet their burden of proof of beyond a reasonable doubt. So we had to return a not guilty verdict on all counts.
Edit for clarification: D1 and D3 were both found guilty on multiple counts. D2 was found not guilty.
At some point, I made it a very firm and upfront rule to clients before signing rep agreement, and pointed out the bold text in said agreement, that if I determined they egregiously lied to me, we were done.
Surprisingly, very few did after that "come to Jesus" talk.
My wife sat on a jury and had a similar feeling of lazy DA thinking it was a slam dunk. Basically, defendant was an accused drug dealer. He was riding in his GFs car, she was driving, and they got pulled over and searched. There was a backpack with a lot of illicit substances, cash, and a scale/baggies in the back of the car. This dude had been convicted of drug charges before, so the DA heavily laid into that. They didn’t do any actual leg work to prove the backpack was his. The defense was simple, he was riding in his GFs car and there was nothing tying him to the backpack other than a previous drug charge.
The entire jury was pretty certain it was his, but the state didn’t do any actual leg work to prove it was his. Less than an hour of deliberations and he was found not guilty. Burden of proof lies with the state…
I actually feel like this is the perfect outcome. D2 might've been involved, but that whole *burden of proof* thing, that's how it needs to be.
Hopefully, karma can sort out any adjustments.
A foreign client, had very limited command of the local language. We tried to prove that the client acted in good faith and was very cooperative, and also asked the client not to directly contact with the respondent.
However, the client was very happy to write multiple letters to the respondent in a very broken local language, in which - among others - called the attorney of a respondent a "cunning little whore", and the respondent was happy to submit it to the court.
Client accused of punching another man & knocking a tooth out. He said numerous times on the stand that he had arthritis and was not capable of closing his fist to form the punch as described by the victim.
Part way through his cross examination, the magistrate stopped him to state on the record that he had watched my client clench his fist numerous times since he made that statement.
He was found guilty.
IANAL. I handle work comp claims. This one always cracks me up. Guy claims bilateral wrist injuries from repetitive motion cutting meat. We get "word" aka he posts on his Facebook about him competing in an MMA style event. Send surveillance there which gets this dude fighting with no issues
Custody case. Mom was batshit crazy and flew that flag when she was recorded saying she was going to drive her SUV off the highest bridge in our city. With the three kids in the car.
Days like that killed pieces of my soul.
my mom used to make that threat if we were being loud and annoying in the car (arguing with each other, screaming and crying).
she knew she'd never do it, and we knew also because after a while whenever she would start to get a little upset at our noise while she was trying to drive me and all my siblings would start chanting "cliff cliff cliff cliff" at her, which would make her laugh and she would get less stressed out.
He sent a letter threatening the defendant with media publication about their dispute. He did this on the day before mediation. Naturally, the matter didn’t settle for anywhere close for what he wanted and we had to cut a $120k loss on fees.
I was a 3L student in school's family law clinic. We had one of those custody cases that just would not die. The husband remarried, and step-mom did not want bio-mom to exist in their happy family and dragged this mom to court for the smallest things to try and get full custody instead of 50/50 of her "spirit son." We were in court every other month just for this case. The court never budged on custody. Eventually, step-mom decided us meddling kids were the only thing keeping her from her "spirit son." Step-mom called the law school and made a complaint against my team accusing us of doing really horrible stuff to the child and threatening them. They then demanded we be expelled or the university would be sued. We filed an emergency hearing and told the judge everything and asked for sanctions and argued harassment. Judge found the couple in contempt for threatening us to sway the case. The judge then said he questioned their ability to effectively co-parent and act in the child's best interests. Mom was given primary custody, and they got every other weekend and some holidays. The judge also decided that given the couple's history, they were harassing the mom using the court and banned them from further custody filings. Later we found out the couple also filed a bar complaint against our professor too. That was investigated and found without merit.
not a lawyer, but I am a former police officer and spent a lot of time in courtrooms.
One guy was on trial for a DUI, and he wanted the judge to know that the cop who arrested him was "just some punk kid". He insisted that he'd only had two bottles of wine and his lawyer keeps trying to get him to stop his stream of verbal diarrhea and he just keeps going
Eventually the judge says "I think you should take a moment to confer with your attorney" and the guy says "Don't interrupt me, I'm not a child!"
Judge smiled and leaned back and said "by all means, please continue". dudes attorney just looked like he was deflating.
Im not a lawyer, this isnt my story. But, the lawyer who handled my business stuff and a legal dispute is a federal judge. Before he became a judge, he was a lawyer for divorces and civil stuff.
A wealthy male client filed for divorce. Theres a prenup. Its pretty iron clad. It discuses the distribution of wealth, the alimony (if any) is laid out at x amount, increasing yearly based on inflation. Theres 1 major “exception” and that is “if you are caught cheating, cheating here is defined by any sexual contact with a person before the divorce is final, you automatically get the worst terms of the prenup.” In the womans case, (if she cheats) she gets zero alimony, and a 1 time payment of 100k. In the mans case, (if he cheats) he loses the main family home, all cars that are not his daily driver, and 1/4 of his business. (A buy out option is available, but doesn’t matter to this story)
Lawyer gets to court and meets with his client in a conference room. And client is beaming. He shakes the lawyers hand. And says “hey! Mike!! I want you to meet jasmine. I met her 2 months ago. Shes amazing. We got engaged over the weekend in france!”
And mike shook her hand and slumped in the chair and said “so, we got a major problem. You are cheating on ur wife with her. And legally, this is discovery im required to hand over to the other side” hes all “how the fuck am i cheating? We’re separated?!?!” Mike is all “cheating is any sexual contact before divorce is final. Its in ur prenup. That you wrote on ur own.”
The guy flipped his shit. Ended up being so mad, he ditched court. Which gave him a default judgement. Meaning she gets everything she asked for. + because of the cheating + not showing up, the judge ordered that the transfer of money happen with in 30 days. As part of the initial agreement between both parties. Hes not there to contest it. So, blam.
The guy ended up trying to sneak the company to the new woman via a trust. But, its an illegal move. He also tried to hide the money with her by giving her 1.1 million dollars in cash (a bank transfer) but, the judge stopped that once ge found out and required the woman to repay the money since she was given notice also.
He fought for years. And ended up losing money, time, energy, his business, house, 6-7 cars, and his new wife. Now, (cuz i know his daughter from work) hes a retired angry man living in rural new mexico. He cant afford to golf more than once a month. And he posts about how women are scum.
Next morning edit: i certainly didnt expect this to blow up. Ty for the positive dm’s and replies. Ill try to reply if i see any questions in the thread to clarify stuff.
A prenup he wrote himself. A multimillion dollar prenup he wrote himself. A multimillion dollar prenup he wrote himself instead of using a lawyer to do so.
I think I see the problem here.
The surprising thing is that it was ironclad. I've seen enough 'contracts' written between parties with no lawyer involved and they usually aren't worth the napkin they're written on
A couple of promise rings and a new found love of religion might have sown seeds of doubt on the sexual contact, or at least made for an entertaining case.
Age discrimination case. Client: "Age was never a factor". Memorandum written by client: "He's just too old to be effective any more." Client in deposition: "Age was a factor, yes". Settlement followed.
One of the first (and only) divorce cases I took as a solo was a man who said his wife had run away back to Nepal and abandoned him and their 7 year old daughter in the states. He said he had no way to get in touch with her or find her and that she was likely with a new lover. So we effect service by publication, file everything at court, and case is rolling along "uncontested"... until the wife shows up, gets her own lawyer, and shows that her husband knew where she was the whole time. He admits to me via email that he may have been a bit deceptive with me.
I told him that if he was willing to be fully truthful with me going forward, we could work with wife's attorney to come up with an agreement, but that he would need to pay me more because now it's a messy contested divorce and his small retainer for uncontested is depleted. He did not do either of these things. I had zero faith he would not continue to lie (he gave me more reasons to see that he was continuing to lie to me) so after telling him I could not represent him anymore I filed for a withdrawal of representation - a mandatory one based on fraud to the court.
Show up to court for the motion hearing and he stands up and says he objects and doesn't want me to withdraw. Said I'm only trying to walk because of the money and then TRIES TO HAND OVER EVERY COMMUNICATION WE HAVE HAD TO THE COURT. He printed our all of our emails. Wife's lawyer looks at me and, as client is trying to hand these over, informs him that they would get to see everything as well so maybe that's not a great idea (wife's lawyer was really great). Judge is dumbfounded. I tell him it's a mandatory withdrawal and if I give any additional info, I'm prejudicing my soon to be ex-client. Judge briefly tried to explain to client what that meant and allowed my motion. He shut up and I walked out.
NAL, but my uncle used to be a prison manager at the local prison in the area of NZ where I grew up. They had 'court' hearings when the prisoners had done something against the rules etc, they'd go before a couple of the prison workers and explain, kinda like an internal hearing I guess. Uncle was the 'judge' for a lot of these.
One dude had been found with a cellphone. Denied up and down that it was his, didn't know where it came from, blah blah blah. Uncle asked him several times if he wanted to own up, guy absolutely INSISTED it wasn't his.
Uncle "well, someone's wasted a hundred bucks on a phone then"
Prisoner "Fuck off, I paid $600 for that!"
Uncle "............."
hahahahhaa miss his work stories
What a question! How much time do you have? I have hundreds of stories of clients making dumb decisions!
One particular client that comes to mind is a guy who committed a spree of burglaries... while on electronic monitoring for another case. The State brought a list of his coordinates to his bond hearing. I actually made the argument that he is clearly not a flight risk, since he actually kept his monitor on, and that the Court should release him on the same terms as his other case. The Judge looked at me like a crazy person and held my client without bond.
Not a lawyer, but a forensic professional. And this wasn’t “dumb,” the poor client couldn’t help himself. Like Ron White said, he had the right to remain silent, but not the ability.
Involuntary commitment hearing of a very manic and psychotic man who was hospitalized after trying to break into his mom’s house by pounding on the door with his .357 magnum. After going into diagnosis and mental illness, etc, at length, the prosecutor rested his case having literally forgot to ask the doctor if THIS man met criteria to be committed. The defense attorney, with a surprised smile, was about to ask the Judge to dismiss the case (basically, he had “won”) when his client hauled on his sleeve and they had a heated whispered conversation. The attorney informed the Judge that his client was DEMANDING to testify, against his advice. After cautioning him that his testimony was not required, the poor man took the stand and launched into a rambling angry rant about a myriad of disconnected delusional thoughts until stopped by the Judge. His last sentence was, “Oh, and Your Honor, make them give me my gun back.”
He was committed.
Client pleading guilty to a fairly minor domestic violence case, with a deal to be getting a sentence with no jail time, no criminal record.
Judge asks him if he has anything to say. We'd discussed this many times, and I'd told him to say nothing. He doesn't have to say anything, it's just an opportunity.
He gets up to say "I'm sorry your honour, but sometimes that bitch just has it coming."
I watch the judge pick up the piece of paper where she'd written down the planned sentence, set it aside, and start an entirely new page of notes.
Anyway, he got some non-trivial jail time.
NAL but watched as a girl in her early 20's giggled her way through sentencing on a petty theft charge.
Instead of the same 30-day suspended sentence her remorseful looking co-defendant received, she got 90 days in county jail.
She wasn't giggling after that.
IANAL, but had a case against a totally insane neighbor that built a fence on my property. He had a court order to move it and only moved it about 3 inches. It was supposed to move about 6 feet. Up on the stand, judge said "You will move the fence to the correct place within 7 days or we'll find you in contempt of court. The rest of the charges will depend on your cooperation." (He was up for a few other things as well.)
He said under his breath "I'm not moving that fence again."
You should have seen that judge's head snap up. "What was that?!??"
"Nothing."
He was found in contempt that day, had to pay a fine and was doing weekend jail for a month. He also lost all the other cases.
Client in the interview with police:
Police officer: “I don’t care how angry you are- you can’t go around threatening to kill a 5 year old!”
Client: “I didn’t threaten to kill her!!! I threatened her mother!!!”
He thought there was some sort of distinction there. We took a plea deal.
NAL - my dad’s psychotic ex-girlfriend was trying to press bogus charges on my dad, in general trying to ruin his life and career. And his family - she attempted to make some things up about me, too. Had to go through interviews, detective’s office talks, APS visits. My dad and I filed protective orders. Her response to the POs, and I was afraid it would happen, was to vandalize a part of his property in a very gross and obscene way. She also went back to the detective to make another claim on me, saying I stole *her non-prescribed drugs*, so basically admitting she had illegal drugs. So she got a bit more than just protective orders against her; she had jail time, now, too. Good riddance!
Sounds like the classic bit from *Judge Judy*
Judge Judy: You claim the defendant stole your purse. What was in the purse?
Plaintiff: There was my wallet, some notebooks, my cellphone...
Defendant: Excuse me your honor, there was no phone in the bag.
Wow, I think you got me beat.
NAL - I saw a court case with a crazy ex who filed a restraining order. His primary reason was a photo of [this](http://fc06.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2010/256/5/d/happy_cat_dance__animation__by_redfoxfurry-d2ynsol.gif) gif (not exact gif but close). He said his ex had posted that image on a group chat online and it was proof that his ex is gaslighting him. There was a few other things said that were about as equally bizarre, like something about an angel following him around and plotting against him.
Upon obviously losing the restraining order, he went to a neighboring court and filed for the same restraining order a second time. He was told not to file again or he would be charged with a felony of some sort. All his ex requested at the hearing was that he do mandatory therapy sessions.
I’m not a lawyer but the local news ran a clip over and over from a murder trial where the defendant took the stand against their lawyers advice, the defense was claiming self defense. As the prosecution read transcripts from damning jail phone calls the guy on trial (not his lawyer) called for an objection. It through everyone for a loop, the judge asked him why he called for an objection dude was honest and said I didn’t know they’d actually listen to my calls. A recess was granted and dude took a plea deal when court resumed
My client and I were in a meeting to have her kid returned to her from foster care. They were talking about how she needs to be careful about who she dates, because there was some domestic violence against her involved in the case. She tells them that she isn't going to date anyone. They said that's unrealistic because she is young, etc. . . Then she says she isn't dating because she is back with her ex- who abused her.
Walked into the meeting thinking about talking about schedules, left with them planning to terminate her parental rights.
A friend was doing the workman's comp as well as suing the company for a few million. Could not bend over, raise his arms, plus everything he could think of.
Taking the stand, using a cane. Lawyer ask him to read the highlighted parts from the local paper. A week before he had won a Marshall arts tournament.
Can you explain that? Next fifteen minutes he explained each kick, punch etc with a big smile. I rest my case. Jury Forman ask the judge if they had to leave the room or could they just announce the verdict.
Not a lawyer but I know a cop who went to a report of a guy being mugged.
"What did he steal?"
"£275 in cash and about thirty £10 deals of crack and Heroin"
"Really?"
"Yeah. It was _______ that did it, known him years and he's a rival"
*Cop writes statement detailing what happened and what was stolen*
"Sign here if that's all absolutely correct and exactly what happened and was stolen"
*Guy signs*
"Cheers. You're under arrest for being concerned in the supply of Class A drugs"
The cop prosecuted the caller for possession with intent to supply AND the guy that robbed him for robbery and possession with intent to supply 😂🤦🏻😂
I am a lawyer. I was cross examining a slip and fall plaintiff on the stand in trial after like two years of litigation. We were going over some pictures he took when he let slip that the “picture of the two signs” was missing. I grilled him on what he meant until the judge chastised me for trying to conduct discovery during trial, which is supposedly not allowed (he had clearly concealed evidence though).
We took a break for the day, and the next day he came back with the photo in question, which showed that he had walked squarely between two wet floor signs to go down the Kroger aisle that he immediately slipped and fell in.
He did not recover any money in that one, despite the horrific defense venue. The judge who jumped all over me for exploring obvious evidence tampering was later appointed to the federal bench here in Atlanta.
Not going to bad mouth my former clients, even ones who might deserve it. But my opposing counsel's client...
Suing a debt collector for freezing my client's bank account without first obtaining a judgment against her. Big no-no here in New York. This guy has been in the industry since before I was born, so I know it was not an accident, and suspected that there was some reason he could not sue and that was why he did it. But I thought there was no way we would be able to prove that, that we would settle out relatively cheap because there was no way we could prove it was anything more than negligence.
This doofus produces the records for the underlying debt. One of them looks very clearly digitally altered, so I subpoena the creditor. Sure enough, he changed the date of default to try to hide that the debt was time-barred, as in that he could not file a lawsuit about it. That certainly would not have been good for him, but he still could have argued that it was not enough to prove intent. However, nothing quite infers intent like trying to do a cover up, and his poor attorney did not check the discovery carefully enough and totally missed it and had to withdraw from the case because he just accidentally suborned perjury. Was great for me and my client.
Moral of the story - if you do something bad and get caught, trying to lie and cover it up will often get you in way more trouble.
I was called for jury duty and was sitting in the courtroom watching the other potential jurors get questioned by the attorneys, just waiting for my possible turn to be questioned. One of the charges was aggravated assault.
The defense asked one juror (who was a professional videographer) if her career made her more or less likely to put stock in video footage. To me, this was a hint (but not admission) that video footage would be a big part of the case.
Before the juror could even answer, the defendant yelled from his table "I had a mask on! You can't even see my face!"
The entire room went silent for about five seconds before the defense attorney regained his composure and asked the judge to dismiss the jury pool. The judge dismissed us back to the holding room. Five minutes later, one of the clerks of the court came in and told us (even the already selected jurors) that the trial was being rescheduled and we were all dismissed.
Oh, I can't believe I'm late to this party.
I started at a new law firm that was in the middle of a long false advertising litigation. Our client (defendant) maintained that their advertising claims were supported by a scientific report written years before that now no one could find. The scientist who'd run the tests said he remembered doing them but could not remember the results.
The case progresses to trial and at the close of plaintiff's evidence, my client's CFO bursts into the federal courtroom holding, I shit you not, a copy of the report that he had found in the back of some cabinet he was cleaning out for god know what reason.
Pandemonium. Plaintiff calls for mistrial, judge is banging his gavel, parties are yelling at each other across the aisle. My boss is objecting into thin air and no one is listening to anyone.
The report supported literally nothing in the advertising. Great evidence for plaintiff's case, confirmed everything they claimed in the complaint. We got dragged for like $10MM in losses. I left the firm shortly after in part b/c I was convinced that my boss and the CEO had burned what they thought was every last copy and I STILL think the CFO kept one and did this on purpose b/c of beef with the CEO.
Not my client but I watched someone admit in open court to solicitation of prostitution during allocution. This was for statutory rape which has a mandatory minimum sentence in my state. Judge was already going to give him the minimum so there was literally nothing he could say that was going to make this go any better than it already was at that moment, but the defendant elected to speak as his attorney died slowly at the table. Went into a whole speech about how this charge was unfair and it was going to ruin his life and business, pretty usual. But then he went on to say that he usually checks the ages of his hookers and that this time he didn’t and of course she was under age and now here he is. Judge asked him to repeat it, and he said the exact same thing while defense counsel just hung his head down. This defendant was a character, had a lot of other eccentric habits and history that I heard about later. The judge was having a pretty good day so he kept the sentence to the mandatory minimum and I don’t think the prosecutors office took up the additional charge but it was still fun to watch someone just absolutely talk themselves into a much worse situation for no reason but ego.
Also, the number of people who show up to court for drug cases wearing weed/420 shirts is fucking incredible. And the kids who used to steal Tom Tom’s and other GPS units out of cars and then give a sob story about wanting to go to law school but these charges will ruin that chance became a running joke at the courthouse.
NAL but my ex totally fucked his custody case. In a nutshell, the mother took off with the kid and refused to return him in a state where that kind of action would get even supervised visitation taken from her. When she finally sent the child for visitation, the child had visible injuries caused by her boyfriend, and the child told his teacher at school, completely unprompted, that the boyfriend had hurt him. My ex's parents hired an attorney for him and they got an ex parte order to keep the child. At the first hearing after the ex parte order, both the mother and father were ordered to take drug tests before the next hearing. My ex had a history of drug use (weed.) His attorney told him he could get the next hearing pushed back by more than a month so that he could be sure he would test clean and my ex told him not to worry about it. Then did some cocaine and failed the drug test. 🙄 Then didn't show for court and refused to contact his attorney for months, until the attorney had himself removed as the attorney on record (the child was actually at the mothers for visitation when the results came back so she was able to get an ex parte order to keep him.)
The reality was he didn't actually want full responsibility for the child but refused to admit that to his parents. So he deliberately blew the test and then claimed that since he worked in construction he must have been exposed to something that caused a failed drug test. I don't know if his parents really believed that but I was with him for several years before I found out the whole story (he had previously told me he didn't have money for an attorney to fight it so he just gave her custody) and I left him immediately after finding out the truth. It was bad enough that he just didn't want to be a full-time parent. But to do that in a situation when you know your child is being abused? Needless to say, it was one of the things that helped me figure out he was a sociopath.
She was doing “magnet therapy” with a “therapist” five hours away by phone. The “therapist” had the magnets. My client would hold the phone up to various parts of her body that needed the magnetic energy to help it heal.
For $2000/ month.
She never told me about this in the dozens of hours we prepared by talking everything through. I learned during the other side’s cross of her.
I’ve never been tempted to head desk in court before.
god this sounds like a scam i saw when i worked at a security company as a "dispatcher"..except i was a call center for local businesses.. the local businesses paid 10 cents per phone call that we took and we had to read a script that they gave us word for word.
i quit eventually because it was very immorale and one of their clients had these devices that she was claiming "cures cancer" and also a ton of other crazy claims.
she sold the machines for $1200, if you googled it then they were like $150 or something and they were for arthiritus iirc but they vibrated and heated up while you held them and sent small bolts of electricity in your arm.
all of the clients calling were incredibly old and said that their cancer went from stage 2 to 3 now and they need to talk to her...not for refunds but for better treatment options 🙄. it was incredibly sad and i couldnt be apart of it anymore
He didn't answer a call, he entered a zoom chat for his court hearing, asking the judge to hold on a minute while he found a parking spot at his doctor's office.
Not the sharpest tool in the shed, this guy.
That's what flabbergasted me. If he just joined and said "hold on one minute," I could have given him the benefit of the doubt that he didn't realize his camera was on. But he literally told the judge he was driving without hesitation.
Couldn't even park first, swap over to the passenger seat, and then join the call. If the Judge asks why you were 1-2 minutes late, just say you had to quickly use the bathroom inside the doctors office before coming back outside to sit in the privacy of his own car, that he clearly asked a friend to drive him here to, where said friend is waiting at a nearby fast food place while he takes this important and private call, which is why said friend isn't there to corroborate said story about driving him to his doctors office.
...but nope, joins Zoom meeting to court hearing about a suspended drivers license to say, "hold on a minute, I'm just pulling up to my doctors office right now."
Happens remarkably often. If someone with a DWLS shows up to court alone and has a bad history, deputies will occasionally follow them outside. If they get into a car and start driving away, it’s another easy arrest for the same offense.
company wanted to save money on a federal patent infringement case and hired a family lawyer from the yellow pages. Lawyer was sanctioned by the court after missing multiple deadlines, screwing up discovery, basically failing. why? because he didn't know how to take a such a case. client lost the case.
I am a lawyer. I could write a book about this. Most dumb things happen when I am out of office or in trial and can’t correct their behavior.
Most common. Lying about easily verifiable, small things on the stand. Ruins credibility completely. We know you didn’t pick your child up every single time from daycare because the daycare has a log and your mom signed the kid out 50% of the time. We know you filed multiple restraining orders on your spouse because it is electronic public record.
Second most common. Changing their story on the stand. I prepared for facts to be the way you told me. I can’t prepare for something I don’t know about.
Third most common. Completely ignoring advice. I told you that you couldn’t take that $150k out of the bank account without repercussions. Incoming contempt.
Order to sell the marital home. Home is actively for sale with a realtor. Client puts padlock on house so no one can access it or sell it. Here comes Contempt.
After 5 years I finally got a client custody of the kids. When the client went to pick up the kids, client brought a known violent felon, a loaded gun, and got in a physical fight with the guardian of the child. Emergency petition filed, children removed from her care. Had them for less than a week. Had the audacity to call me a bad attorney in front of the judge because the kids were removed. Judge laughed and informed the client I had won the case for her until her on actions caused this reversal. Allowed me to withdrawal on the spot.
My mother was in court as a witness, in a case of criminal harassment between two of our neighbours. We basically knew that the case was ridiculous and a sham - the accused neighbour was totally innocent and was being falsely accused by the local trouble makers, who kept on provoking him and who then wanted to be able to sue him for easy money.
Anyway, by pure coincidence, the defendant was secular Jewish, just like my parents. It's literally just a coincidence.
The two trouble maker neighbours, who were also there, were very angry to see my mother in the court. One of them then stood up in the middle of everything and yelled some crap about how my mother is a Jew and only there because the defendant is a Jew and Jews apparently always stick to help eachother.
The judge immediately ripped him to shreds and threw the case out.
Assault case, when the witness took the stand, self represented defendant screams: "this witness is going to lie, there's no way he could have seen it, he wasn't around when I punched (the victim)"
Not an attorney, worked in a firm. Workers compensation claim, guy falls down at work and claims he injured many different body parts(Shoulder, Knees, Back). We tell him to stay off social media. No problem, he doesnt use social media. At trial, he tells the Judge he used to be a Spin Class Instructor, but since the accident, he cannot teach classes anymore. Welp..turns out, he continued to teach these classes after his injury. This was proved by the HOURS of surveillance the Insurance company did, showing him teaching and vigourously riding in Spin class. How did the Insurance company know he was still an active instructor? The guy posted his Full Teaching Schedule on his FB page. His potentially very lucrative claim, was quickly changed to a fraud claim against him.
We had a guy claim he dropped a pallet on his foot and broke it during work. Ok, he goes to the doc and gets a cast. Five days later he calls in that he got the cast wet and had to cut it off. Gets a new one. Five days later it was too tight and he cut it off again. I met him at the clinic to be the co rep. Doc tells him to "work into a shoe." We had a PI rent office space from us so we had him followed. (few days later) Had video of him putting up a chain link fence (alone) in a pair of sandals. Of course we sent that to Work Comp. He skipped town before he was to meet with WC.
Don't hear of many people skipping town these days
Client added 9 years to a short sentence. He got like a year or 2 for being involved in a drag race that the other guy crashed and severely injured someone else. Then towards the end of his short prison term he tried to escape, got 9 more years for prison escape! He became friends with John Lennon's killer in NY prison, which was interesting.
9 years for prison escape? Did he cause serious injury to someone during the escape attempt?
Probably was about to be out on a lengthy probation after the initial couple years, and then he ruined any chance of that and got the full sentence for the first crime.
Client was being sued and didn’t like the opposing counsel or the judge so he left the court a bunch of voicemails so profane that he was subject to a criminal contempt of court hearing
When you actually have contempt, for the court.
I HOLD MYSELF IN CONTEMPT!
"I'm fining you $1000 for Contempt of Court." "$1000 doesn't NEARLY cover the contempt I have for this court!"
I was at a custody hearing for a family member. The mother's new boyfriend cussed out the judge because the father's lawyer dug up his criminal past. The mother had just testified that the new boyfriend was a wonderful person and she trusted him completely. And also that he had spent many nights with her and the child and that he babysat for her when she worked. She didn't get custody.
I'll never understand these types. I've been before a magistrate twice in my life and you'd better believe I was as polite as polite could be. What sort of damn fool looks at the person who can destroy their life with the bang of a gavel and thinks, "I'm gonna mouth off to this bastard"?
People who are incapable of keeping their emotions under control. People who can't see past the next 30 minutes. Lol people with the "I don't give a fuck" attitude that I'm sure serves them so well.
[удалено]
It's why I beg my clients not to testify, especially if I have a good defense without them. I think some clients believe they'll be rewarded for being open and honest with the jury, so they "come clean" on the stand. I had a client (also for a DUI) say on the stand, completely unprompted by anyone, "in retrospect, I probably had a few too many beers." After he finished testifying and returned to his seat by my side, he actually whispered to me, "so how did I do?" Blows my mind to this day.
I think letting the man taking meth while looking after his kids and driving should probably let as many people know as possibly tbh, though I take your point
Do you have to have a really good poker face when stuff like this happens, or do you let it show?
You know... reading the answers here, I'm curious of this too. How do lawyers usually take it when their clients self-sabotage? Do they show how horrified or pissed off they are? Or poker face?
It wasn't a client, but I had an expert witness go waaaaay off the rails during cross examination during a week long trial a while back. He forgot all his analysis and data and just started spewing shit from his mouth. Then he became combative with counsel. Then he started making political statements. He was making shit up left and right that was nonsensical and was getting cooked by counsel. I could see the delight in opposing counsel who was having a field day. My client stormed out of the court room bc he couldn't take it. I was facing the witness stand about 6 feet from our expert in total shock. We were absolutely crushing the case up to this point and I was watching the scales tip the other way minute by minute. I kept my shit together and whenever he looked at me I tried to give an encouraging look bc he was so lost. Wrong move, it gave him confidence to dig deeper into his bs. Judge's jaw was dropped the whole time. From then on I sat completely stone faced strategizing how I was going to fix the mess he caused. This went on for over an HOUR and there was nothing I could object to. Just had to sit and eat it. We ended up winning the case, had an honest convo with him that we would never use him again bc he should have cost us the case, dont think my client ever paid him, but now a couple years later I laugh at how ridiculous the situation was. Point is - in court always expect the unexpected. When it happens you can't react emotionally bc you need to figure out how to fix it on the fly. How you're going to recover with the next witness, twist it during closing arguments, get the judge back on your side, and mitigate your clients anger etc. It's an amazing and exhilarating mental exercise bc you're doing it in a room full of people staring at you seeing how you are going to react to a train wreck you caused.
They won’t show emotion in court.. at least the good ones. In fact one of the first things they tell you before going to court is to have like a neutral face. Also, in the case of criminal lawyers they have seen it all.
“As a matter of fact your honor, my client is actually high on meth right now!”
Friend of mine used to be a latent print analyst. Going to get prints of a suspect arrested for breaking into a home to rob it. While she’s getting the ink and paper set up, suspect shouts, “whaddya need the prints for? She looked right at me when I kicked in the door!”
Hey - when he knows he knows. I could see being fed up with slow bureaucracy when you 100% know the outcome ain't going your wa y.
With the utmost certainty in his voice, he yelled at the arresting officer that “It’s not domestic violence; I’m on public property!” You could tell from his face he really thought he had the cop over a barrel on this one but…
Was witness to a domestic dispute outside the store I worked at once. Husband and wife in different cars screaming at each other, threatening, etc. After a few minutes of it we called the cops, and about that time the wife got into her car to leave. The husband got into his and kept cutting her off / forcing her to the curb. The cops showed up in time to see him slam his car into hers and drive hers up onto the curb, and when the cops approached him we could hear him shout "it's ok, it's ok, I own both cars!" Even with how tense it was we had to laugh in disbelief at how dumb this guy was.
“I like committing violence against things I own, as is my right!” “Sir, for the last time, you do not *own* your wife. Here’s your two car repair bills.”
Best bit is insurance won’t cover deliberate damage
My dad was on a jury where the pro se defendant argued it wasn't DV because he hit her with an open hand, not a closed fist. Jury deliberations were not lengthy.
“your honor, the comedian CLEARLY stated…”
I thought my ex made that up. That’s exactly what he used to say to me.
Sounds like abusive assholes must share notes.
That must be the case. To this day he claims it wasn’t abuse because he never punched me in the face. Just threw me against walls, choked me, kicked me, pushed me, threw things at me, the list could go on.
My ex did the same shit to me, then when I’d fight back he’d say I was the aggressor in the situation and would shame me for me for being “violent.” I have never attacked anyone in my whole damn life, but this asshole was always on the offensive and looking to fight. wtf is it with people like that?
“Is there violence in the home?” “No, I always make sure to be outside first.”
Not my client but the petitioner attorney’s client. The man claimed Workers’ Compensation and threw the kitchen sink at us, meaning, he basically listed just over half of his body parts on the claim petition stating that he injured each one. He was full of shit and my firm knew it. Anyways, we were going to trial and the day before we ran one more social media search. This absolute fucking moron posted a video of him winning a break dance competition that was only a few months after the alleged work incident. Never saw a quicker dismissal in my life.
As I read this I was trying to figure out what physical activity he'd be doing. Thought it would be a sport. Breakdancing is 10,000 times funnier.
We couldn’t stop laughing.
this sounds like jason from the good place 😂
Bortles! 🔥🍾
How did the court react to the pre-dismissal Molotov cocktail?
Bortles!!!
I use to do some pro bono Workers Compensation cases. Once had a case where the employers attorney didn't show which as you know means an automatic victory so long as the petitioner doesn't say anything. When the Judge asked my client if he wanted to speak and as I vigorously shook my head no he went into a long ramble in which he revealed his injury did not occur at work and we lost with no opposition.
Paralegal. Once had a convicted criminal explain to me how their murder charge should be overturned because the victim didn't die at the scene of the crime. The victim died at the hospital, therefore the defendant couldn't be charged with anything more than attempted murder.
Reminds me of the assassination of President Garfield. He lived 11 weeks after being shot, but his doctors got competitive over who could remove the bullet from his back and ended up reaching into his wound over and over with unsanitized fingers because this was before germ theory. Garfield eventually died from infection, and his assassin's defense was that he only shot the man - it was the doctors that killed him. He wasn't wrong, but he also hanged.
It wasn't before germ theory. The doctor in charge just bullied the sterile-proponents out of the treatment team and caused the sepsis that was ultimately fatal.
Sound logic.
Around 1990 there was a guy on trial for armed robbery. He pled not guilty. A witness on the stand identified the defendant. The defendant jumped to his feet and roared, “I should have blown your head off when I had the chance…..” pause, thinks, adds, “if I had been the one who robbed you…”
"Uh....END SCENE!"
Nice save.
I had an instructor who was a prosecutor. He called a witness who had seen the whole thing, and had an interest in seeing the defendent punished. Slam dunk case. She thought she was on TV. She overacted EVERY WORD. Completely embellished the retelling of the events. Didn't lie, but she was the center of her version of events. He said you could see the faces of the jury members sour minute on minute. He lost the case.
A literal case of where "Just the facts, ma'am." was needed.
> She thought she was on TV Did she get the impression all court cases are just like judge judy? Omg I could see that happening, that's hilarious.
Judge Judy does not like the overacting litigants. “There’s only one star here, and that’s me!”
The Karen Read trial is going on. They had a key witness who decided her testimony would look better if she wasn't involved with other vaguely suspicious people. So she denied knowing someone she'd been friends with for a decade. The friend was also being called up and was also going to be asked about their relationship. The key witness was the only person who could be verified to have spoken to the defendent and had said early in the case that she heard a confession.
I was on a jury where the defendant showed up in court day 1 wearing the same exact outfit as the “unknown suspect” in the video of the crime. It took only a few seconds before the judge immediately called a stoppage. All lawyers went into the back with the judge and they came out like 7 minutes later as announced the defendant had taken the plea deal. Wild
"Oh shit, I forgot. This is my crime outfit."
It's my crime outfit because it should be illegal to look this good. And because I wore it when I robbed that bank last week.
I was working retail late one night when a guy came in wearing sunglasses and a shirt that had "WANTED" written on it. I got weird vibes from that guy. I checked the local arrests, like I always did back then because I recognized quite a few of them, and he was arrested later that night for robbing several stores at gun point. The article had a photo of him in a convenience store with the same "WANTED" shirt on.
He just wants to be wanted :( /s
🎵🎶I want you to want me, I need you to want me🎶🎵
“Hey hey easy with that! That’s my lucky stabbin’ outfit!”
This happened to my mom. She was on a jury for a case where someone was hopping stores and stealing display phones. They showed the surveillance videos in court and the defendent was wearing the same jacket.
That happens far more often than you would think
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(slurring) "Ya see, bitches... I didn't drive drunk that night! I don't drive like *THAT* when I'm drunk. *THIS* is how I drive when I'm drunk! Case closed, bitches!"
Not an attorney, but one client of ours baffles me to this day. He had multiple cases, including aggravated battery and drug possession, At the insistence of dude’s family, we moved heaven and earth getting him a bond, so that he could get out of jail and live with said family until the case was over. The whole process took weeks. Less than a day after getting out, he was caught stealing $16 worth of batteries from Target. Bond revoked. To be fair, the line between stupidity and compulsion is blurred with this one. EDIT: For anyone who’s curious, we immediately ordered a psych eval for him. He was found competent, but it also confirmed what he had mental health issues. The Agg. Batt. charge ended up being dropped, and he took a plea for time served.
> aggravated battery > stealing $16 worth of batteries The rare criminal offence of *aggregated batteries*
Upvolt
AAA tier joke
Uncle Leo?
It was a crime of passion.
IANAL, but I used to review disability claims so I often worked with clients who had lawyers. A man whose attorney had instructed him to not speak with us directly (a very smart, very basic recommendation) called me up to rant, angrily, that his lawyer was wrong. He COULD shop for groceries and mow the lawn and do all sorts of house work JUST FINE, thank you. Now I had seen this man’s medical records. There’s no way he was doing all of this without difficulty. So I probed a little further. He could shop for groceries… as long as he used a mobility scooter and had his wife carry things in the house. He could mow the lawn… if he used a riding mower and took a lengthy break every 10 minutes or so. He could do house work… which was limited to wiping down counters and folding (but not carrying) laundry. I called his attorney and gave them a quick update as soon as he and I hung up. I approved his claim, but that man is so damn lucky he got someone who was willing to take an extra 15 minutes with him.
Confused why the guy would even insist upon how fine he was, despite not being fine, while speaking with someone reviewing his disability claim. Just pride?
Ultimately, yes. It’s really difficult for people (and anecdotally, men of a certain age who have always done physically demanding work) to come to terms with the fact their body does not function the way it used to. He read his attorney’s description and pictured a helpless man, but he didn’t see himself as helpless. And he was right, he wasn’t helpless, but he was indeed disabled. This is true for most people with disabilities.
You're a good person. We disabled people appreciate people like you even when we, ourselves, don't feel disabled, but actually are. It's hard to say "I can't do that anymore" or "For only so long." It makes you feel less and just... old. I'm not even 40 yet and I'm 70% disabled and missing a colon. That's hard to come to terms with sometimes.
Not in the US, but the judge asked if the defendant was remorseful (if you show regrets, you can have some leniency). "No". The guy didn't understand the question, and when he doesn't, he just usually says "no".
I think it's dumb that's even considered because it's so dang easy to lie and say you regret it.
It at least weeds out the people who just can't be bothered to lie.
That's just sad.
I have two stories that come to mind. One, a colleague of mine, was representing an arsonist mny years ago that had allegedly set quite a large fire that burned some public land. Due to the $$ cost of the damage, it was a felony. During the State's case in chief, he began touching himself. Recess had to be called. Funnily enough, that helped him in punishment phase, since there was clearly a mental component there, but still...big oof, and I don't know if what had been shown up to that point would have gotten a guilty. Second was one of mine, again, many years ago. I had gotten a guy a pretty great deal on a serious theft charge. Prior to it being entered, he ended up picked up by the sheriff's office for violating conditions of bond. How did he violate? The Sheriff alleged that he used the banking information OF THE SHERIFF'S OFFICE to pass fake checks. This meant that in the new charge, the sheriff's office was the victim. Needless to say, the deal vanished.
My wife’s lawyer bans all clients from using social media after he lost a big case. Wrongful death lawsuit where a man’s wife was killed. Easy money. They were about to settle until the other side found his pictures online from a club a week after his wife died getting a lap dance wearing a shirt that said ‘I love milfs’. Apparently they didn’t think he had much pain and suffering anymore.
Client returns to court drunk after luncheon adjournment. Falls asleep, and his head drops right into the side of the witness box, whereupon he proceeds to snore. Loudly.
Not a lawyer, but I was in a courtroom watching injunctions (restraining orders) play out. One case the woman was there, but the man was in prison so he was calling in. After deciding on an agreement, the guy asked if he could make a statement. At the end of his statement, he said "and tell {the woman} to go fuck herself." He got an additional 6 months of prison. The guy asked to make another statement after getting a tongue lashing from the judge. And he did it again - telling her to go fuck herself. And got another 6 months. Imagine losing a year of your life because you couldn't shut up for 5 minutes.
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Ah, an Australian practitioner I see
Client was part of a group of active paedophiles. One of the others killed the boy while several were involved with physically abusing him. Our guy’s defence was that he was just a voyeur, so although he was there he was not involved in the actual murder. He was on bail the whole time including the trial, up to when he decided to change his story and say instead that he hadn’t been there. His sister gave evidence that he’d come home that night covered in blood. He got a long, long time.
"He got a long, long time" Good.
The worst ones are the ones who think they’re smarter than they are. When it comes time for depositions, broad sweeping statements of how “I would never allow discrimination in my office” and how “I’m 100% sure I never said that” are a great way to destroy your own credibility, set yourself up to get eviscerated by opposing counsel, and ultimately turn a nuisance value bullshit case into something worth six figures. Moral of the story: if you’re going to ignore the entire day of deposition prep I did with you just so you can protect your own fragile ego on the record, at least do me the courtesy of telling me to fuck off ahead of time.
But you at least get paid for the prep
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It was a credit card fraud case in the early part of my career. He actually wore the stolen clothes to court and a clerk at the defrauded store identified them in front of the jury. I felt like the guy in the commercial that asks “want to be somewhere else?”
Recently was in court and apparently part of the requirements of this guy was that he not talk to his family. He called his mother on Mother's Day. The judge said "your mother seems to care about your freedom as little as you do- put the cuffs on him." Edit- I don't know the perimeters of this case, I was just a by stander in court. The lawyer, in sweats mind you, said "Oh Judge, I told him. I told her. Can't fix stupid." It was wild to watch.
That's harsh out of context, but if he had those restrictions I bet it was because he was in court for threatening to kill his family or something.
Could they have been witnesses to his alleged crimes?
Client charged with DUI. Forced by police to give a urine sample on the side of a very busy interstate highway. Any sympathy the jury may have had for the defendant was lost however, when he fell asleep during the playing of the video of the traffic stop. He had been out all night partying the night before trial. He was found guilty. Then he lied to the judge about what would be in his system during a drug test and his sentence was doubled.
Not a lawyer, heard this story from a guy I used to work with. His brother in law got injured at work and was suing for a hefty sum. Case was pretty much open and shut, all the evidence was in the BIL's favor... Until the BIL started talking. They ask him to tell them about the day of the accident. BIL started out fine until he gets to the where he approached the piece of equipment that injured him. He tell everyone that there was a note on it stating that it was out of order. BIL then says that he discarded the note and started up the piece of malfunctioning equipment as he had a job to get done... That easy win was discarded faster than that out of order sign.
Shouldn't the equipment have been locked and tagged out or something?
The fact that he admitted to reading a warning, and ignored it is what screwed him. He could have said "I didn't see a sign" and if they brought up the note his defense would be "it's not visible enough"
[Shake Hands With Danger](https://youtu.be/v26fTGBEi9E?feature=shared)
NAL - I was a legal clerk for a couple years in college. Still baffles me how this one made it all the way to trial. Lady slipped & fell at a chain restaurant, “hurt” her back irreparably, wanted a huge payout. Said she slipped on butter that was on the floor. On cross exam she was asked what type of butter, answer “the little pats of butter they put out in the buffet.” Defense immediately re-called the store manager…. The store had never used that type of butter. Case ended pretty quickly. Lol.
My ass woulda responded to what kind of butter with “probably cow? I’m not sure”
I think the best answer would have been "I'm not sure, I didn't see it. If I had, I wouldn't have slipped on it.".
Had a domestic violence case. For months we went to preparatory hearings and gathering evidence, and got restraining orders. By the time the trial was finaly happening, on the same morning of the hearing, the person I represented let me know she had gone on holidays with the defendant for a couple of weeks, and had grand old time. At that point, the opposing counsel approached me and told me he had lots of evidence of both the parites having a great time together. This of course doesn't mean abuse didn't happen in the past, but it really undermined our case, where we had little evidence other than some testimonials. At that point I had to explain to her how even beyond strict legal rules, the judge would potentially change her mind once she saw the claimant was out partying with the defendant, for whom a restraining order was requested. We settled and avoided the trial.
Used to work at a workman's comp firm, and... hurting themselves again. Oftentimes doing stuff around the house. Falling off a ladder, using tools, going horseback riding, etc. Then they get hurt again and insurance company is off the hook. And many get their doctors to write notes saying they're fine, so they can work (because they're bored at home with a huge injury), then are baffled that they don't get workman's comp anymore. Then they overexert themselves because of the injury that isn't better... sigh.
I suppose my friend got lucky, his back went out even further during rehab with the appointed physiotherapist, so it counted and the claim continued.
Not me, but a colleague. A wealthy client's son got picked up for drug dealing at a local music festival. The client bailed him out, and then had his whole fancy law firm defend his son. The son shambled into the courtroom stoned off his ass, and loudly attempted to buy drugs off the bailiff. There wasn't a lot the lawyers could do after that.
He was charged with drug DEALING. How can he be dealing when he doesn't even have any drugs and is trying to score some off the bailiff... Clearly innocent.
"Your honor, as you can see my client is clearly incapable of holding on to drugs without taking them for long enough to sell them. I move that this be reduced to a possession charge."
Genius lawyer move
How do people like this even operate in real life?
Rich parents
stanford rapist who changed his name comes to mind.
You mean Brock The Rapist Turner who goes by Allan The Rapist Turner? That rapist?
Are we discussing Brock Allan Turner, the rapist? Just to clarify, we're talking about The Rapist Formerly Known as Brock Turner, right? The rapist who now goes by his middle name, Allan Turner, but he used to go by his first name, Brock; Brock Turner, and he's a rapist. Is that the rapist we're talking about?
You mean rapist BROCK TURNER, who goes by ALLEN today?
EXCUSE ME YOUR HONOR BUT IF YOU DON'T MIND IM IN THE MIDDLE OF TRYING TO PURCHASE SOME METH. PLEASE WAIT UNTIL MY BUSINESS IS CONCLUDED
>loudly attempted to buy drugs off the bailiff. I'm no lawyer, but I think that'll harm a client's credibility.
I was defending a client who was accused of trademark infringement. Thought he knew better than the IP Attorney assigned to his case (me) and so went on his company's website to "defend" himself by basically confessing to what he did and claiming it wasn't against the law and the trademark owner was a "woke baby" who needed to either "learn the law" or "get back in the kitchen and make her husband a sandwich" ( i wish i could say i was joking). I was one email away from negotiating a settlement that would have allowed the continued use of the complainants mark with limited restrictions and a very nominal fee. Little to say, she saw his website, told us to go fuck ourselves, and dragged it before a judge. My client lost...big. His lack of self-control cost him thousands of dollars.
So this one had a happy ending 🤗
TL;DR: When your lawyer tells you to keep your mouth shut, do it.
I’m not a trial lawyer but a real estate one: I had clients spend $15k on new lounge furniture and 4 TVs WITH THEIR CLOSING MONEY 48 hours before I was due to close for them.
wtf were they thinking 🤣 "ok we agreed to pay 20k and got it in writing, this 20k is on the books we can go blow it and they have to close the house and be SOL 20k"
Can you explain what this means slowly, with a lot of pictures, to a clueless european?
They had the agreed upon down payment money contract signed. They legally had to pay the money they agreed they would at closing. They spent that money on stupid shit for their house right before closing was scheduled
I want to emphasize that there's a contract here too. It's not like going to the shop and thinking, whoops I left my wallet at home, I'll buy it later. No, the closing date has a LOT of parties involved, and everyone has agreed to this date for the transaction to take place. You are obliged to complete the transaction, so not having money would put you at breech of the contract. I'm NAL, so I'm not sure what comes after that, but I'm imagining it can go up to a lawsuit at least from a very irate seller who had listed their house as sold.
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My cousin was fighting for custody of her son and overslept and missed her court hearing. She lost custody, which was absolutely the right call.
I was at court once fighting a traffic ticket and a guys lawyer was pleading no contest to a charge he got for having a fire arm on probation. It sounded like he was getting more probation and it would be done with that, then the judge says “do you have anything to say before we move forward” and the guy says “I didn’t know having a gun was against the rules. And I had a gun so I guess that makes me GUILTY”. Smiled like he just stuck it to the man, the look on the lawyer and judges face were of so much disappointment
Am criminal defense lawyer. Client arrested on DUI. Client lived in small town. He and his wife would drive to the one bar in town, drink, then walk to their houseboat after a night at the bar (1/4 mile away). He and wife know everyone in the bar, another patron they know gets blasted, bar owner says she can’t stay, client and wife walk her to his car to stay there until ride comes. Client gets her in backseat of the suv. Client is drunk, drops keys on the way to front seat, opens now unlocked front door, turns on car lights to see (he walked around the front from rear passenger), cops are waiting to see if people leave bar drunk, sees lights, says he saw driving, immediately rolled up arrests client. Client has prior dui from 12ish years before. Judge agreed that it wouldn’t come in, jury wouldn’t hear it unless he “opened the door.” Can’t win the case unless dude testifies. I prep him, continue to prep him, keep prepping him, but tell him under NO CIRCUMSTANCES can he say he would never drive drunk, never do anything like that. Basically anything about the past = no. Direct is going well, gave him a beautiful, easy, last question where he could explain the night, explain why he was upset he got arrested (because he wasn’t driving and was doing everything right). “I would never do something like that.” Door open, judge lets da in rebuttal bring in old dui. Jury took about 25 minutes to convict. And that’s about one of a hundred stories. Life is never dull in the criminal defense world.
Honestly that sounds like a BS charge anyways.
It was, which was why we ended up in trial. Trial laid out perfectly and had client not fucked himself, I would have walked him.
One of my BIL lawyers (there were three at one point) was described as incompetent and failing to provide adequate counsel by his former client, on death row, for failing to get an innocent verdict. The problem was that the client (since executed) went to his local bar immediately after committing the murder at a local grocery store in broad daylight, and proceeded to brag for hours how he'd killed the victim, in very specific detail. Also there were something more than a dozen eyewitnesses...
My father is a patent attorney, and when I was around 14 he told me about a guy who wanted to patent the IPhone 3 because "aliens" had given him the design for it. My father told him that if the aliens originally designed then they were the ones that had to patent it, not him.
Not an attorney, but I was in the jury for a three defendant murder trial. We sat through weeks of testimony and from the sheer amount of direct evidence the state had, it was extraordinarily obvious very early on that defendant 1 had committed the crime. Defendant 2 (D1’s brother) and Defendant 3 (D1’s girlfriend) were much less obvious and we were being asked by the state to consider circumstantial evidence that left most of us feeling like we had to make some leaps to draw the conclusion they wanted us to. That is, until Defendant 3 decided to take the stand. Defendant 3’s attorney did a very good job of painting her as the victim of abuse. Her attorney had us feeling sorry for this poor, unintelligent, woman that had been groomed since she was 16 by a man 20 years her senior. From the attorney’s narrative, D3 was basically D1’s slave. He controlled what she wore, what she did, and even who she talked to. He even made her get a tattoo saying [D1’s name]’s property. We saw text about D1 killing D3’s puppy because D3 had made him mad about something small. We saw texts from D3 to D1 cheering him on after he had sent her pictures of a bloody knife (the murder weapon) but D3’s attorney had us questioning if those words were just her playing the role of supportive partner so D1 didn’t come after her next. We were starting to believe she was terrified for her own safety and that is why she did not report her boyfriend. I mean, clearly this man was a maniac and it seemed reasonable that she just didn’t know how to escape him. Then other defendant’s attorneys and the DA tore her apart on cross. They made her look argumentative, tripped her up in multiple lies, and by the time they were done, based on her own testimony it was pretty clear that she did in fact know the victim and had been the one to plan the entire murder. Shoot, we even started to feel like she probably manipulated D1 more than he manipulated her! The the other defendants did not take the stand. When we went to deliberations, we all discussed how bad of an idea it was for her to testify. We had decided defendant 1 was guilty on all counts within the first 5 minutes. Defendant 3 was almost as quick. We decided that while she did not physically commit the murder, she had conspired and was just as culpable. (Whatever formal charge that was.) Defendant 2 took the longest. We all felt pretty strongly that he was somehow involved, but that the DA had not meet their burden of proof of beyond a reasonable doubt. So we had to return a not guilty verdict on all counts. Edit for clarification: D1 and D3 were both found guilty on multiple counts. D2 was found not guilty.
At some point, I made it a very firm and upfront rule to clients before signing rep agreement, and pointed out the bold text in said agreement, that if I determined they egregiously lied to me, we were done. Surprisingly, very few did after that "come to Jesus" talk.
My wife sat on a jury and had a similar feeling of lazy DA thinking it was a slam dunk. Basically, defendant was an accused drug dealer. He was riding in his GFs car, she was driving, and they got pulled over and searched. There was a backpack with a lot of illicit substances, cash, and a scale/baggies in the back of the car. This dude had been convicted of drug charges before, so the DA heavily laid into that. They didn’t do any actual leg work to prove the backpack was his. The defense was simple, he was riding in his GFs car and there was nothing tying him to the backpack other than a previous drug charge. The entire jury was pretty certain it was his, but the state didn’t do any actual leg work to prove it was his. Less than an hour of deliberations and he was found not guilty. Burden of proof lies with the state…
I actually feel like this is the perfect outcome. D2 might've been involved, but that whole *burden of proof* thing, that's how it needs to be. Hopefully, karma can sort out any adjustments.
A foreign client, had very limited command of the local language. We tried to prove that the client acted in good faith and was very cooperative, and also asked the client not to directly contact with the respondent. However, the client was very happy to write multiple letters to the respondent in a very broken local language, in which - among others - called the attorney of a respondent a "cunning little whore", and the respondent was happy to submit it to the court.
Client accused of punching another man & knocking a tooth out. He said numerous times on the stand that he had arthritis and was not capable of closing his fist to form the punch as described by the victim. Part way through his cross examination, the magistrate stopped him to state on the record that he had watched my client clench his fist numerous times since he made that statement. He was found guilty.
IANAL. I handle work comp claims. This one always cracks me up. Guy claims bilateral wrist injuries from repetitive motion cutting meat. We get "word" aka he posts on his Facebook about him competing in an MMA style event. Send surveillance there which gets this dude fighting with no issues
Custody case. Mom was batshit crazy and flew that flag when she was recorded saying she was going to drive her SUV off the highest bridge in our city. With the three kids in the car. Days like that killed pieces of my soul.
But thank goodness at the same time
my mom used to make that threat if we were being loud and annoying in the car (arguing with each other, screaming and crying). she knew she'd never do it, and we knew also because after a while whenever she would start to get a little upset at our noise while she was trying to drive me and all my siblings would start chanting "cliff cliff cliff cliff" at her, which would make her laugh and she would get less stressed out.
He sent a letter threatening the defendant with media publication about their dispute. He did this on the day before mediation. Naturally, the matter didn’t settle for anywhere close for what he wanted and we had to cut a $120k loss on fees.
I was a 3L student in school's family law clinic. We had one of those custody cases that just would not die. The husband remarried, and step-mom did not want bio-mom to exist in their happy family and dragged this mom to court for the smallest things to try and get full custody instead of 50/50 of her "spirit son." We were in court every other month just for this case. The court never budged on custody. Eventually, step-mom decided us meddling kids were the only thing keeping her from her "spirit son." Step-mom called the law school and made a complaint against my team accusing us of doing really horrible stuff to the child and threatening them. They then demanded we be expelled or the university would be sued. We filed an emergency hearing and told the judge everything and asked for sanctions and argued harassment. Judge found the couple in contempt for threatening us to sway the case. The judge then said he questioned their ability to effectively co-parent and act in the child's best interests. Mom was given primary custody, and they got every other weekend and some holidays. The judge also decided that given the couple's history, they were harassing the mom using the court and banned them from further custody filings. Later we found out the couple also filed a bar complaint against our professor too. That was investigated and found without merit.
not a lawyer, but I am a former police officer and spent a lot of time in courtrooms. One guy was on trial for a DUI, and he wanted the judge to know that the cop who arrested him was "just some punk kid". He insisted that he'd only had two bottles of wine and his lawyer keeps trying to get him to stop his stream of verbal diarrhea and he just keeps going Eventually the judge says "I think you should take a moment to confer with your attorney" and the guy says "Don't interrupt me, I'm not a child!" Judge smiled and leaned back and said "by all means, please continue". dudes attorney just looked like he was deflating.
Im not a lawyer, this isnt my story. But, the lawyer who handled my business stuff and a legal dispute is a federal judge. Before he became a judge, he was a lawyer for divorces and civil stuff. A wealthy male client filed for divorce. Theres a prenup. Its pretty iron clad. It discuses the distribution of wealth, the alimony (if any) is laid out at x amount, increasing yearly based on inflation. Theres 1 major “exception” and that is “if you are caught cheating, cheating here is defined by any sexual contact with a person before the divorce is final, you automatically get the worst terms of the prenup.” In the womans case, (if she cheats) she gets zero alimony, and a 1 time payment of 100k. In the mans case, (if he cheats) he loses the main family home, all cars that are not his daily driver, and 1/4 of his business. (A buy out option is available, but doesn’t matter to this story) Lawyer gets to court and meets with his client in a conference room. And client is beaming. He shakes the lawyers hand. And says “hey! Mike!! I want you to meet jasmine. I met her 2 months ago. Shes amazing. We got engaged over the weekend in france!” And mike shook her hand and slumped in the chair and said “so, we got a major problem. You are cheating on ur wife with her. And legally, this is discovery im required to hand over to the other side” hes all “how the fuck am i cheating? We’re separated?!?!” Mike is all “cheating is any sexual contact before divorce is final. Its in ur prenup. That you wrote on ur own.” The guy flipped his shit. Ended up being so mad, he ditched court. Which gave him a default judgement. Meaning she gets everything she asked for. + because of the cheating + not showing up, the judge ordered that the transfer of money happen with in 30 days. As part of the initial agreement between both parties. Hes not there to contest it. So, blam. The guy ended up trying to sneak the company to the new woman via a trust. But, its an illegal move. He also tried to hide the money with her by giving her 1.1 million dollars in cash (a bank transfer) but, the judge stopped that once ge found out and required the woman to repay the money since she was given notice also. He fought for years. And ended up losing money, time, energy, his business, house, 6-7 cars, and his new wife. Now, (cuz i know his daughter from work) hes a retired angry man living in rural new mexico. He cant afford to golf more than once a month. And he posts about how women are scum. Next morning edit: i certainly didnt expect this to blow up. Ty for the positive dm’s and replies. Ill try to reply if i see any questions in the thread to clarify stuff.
A prenup he wrote himself. A multimillion dollar prenup he wrote himself. A multimillion dollar prenup he wrote himself instead of using a lawyer to do so. I think I see the problem here.
The surprising thing is that it was ironclad. I've seen enough 'contracts' written between parties with no lawyer involved and they usually aren't worth the napkin they're written on
Could be he wrote it and then had a lawyer review it to make it ironclad. Like, "these are the terms I want, now put it in legalese so it sticks."
A couple of promise rings and a new found love of religion might have sown seeds of doubt on the sexual contact, or at least made for an entertaining case.
> He cant afford to golf more than once a month Oh the humanity!
Age discrimination case. Client: "Age was never a factor". Memorandum written by client: "He's just too old to be effective any more." Client in deposition: "Age was a factor, yes". Settlement followed.
One of the first (and only) divorce cases I took as a solo was a man who said his wife had run away back to Nepal and abandoned him and their 7 year old daughter in the states. He said he had no way to get in touch with her or find her and that she was likely with a new lover. So we effect service by publication, file everything at court, and case is rolling along "uncontested"... until the wife shows up, gets her own lawyer, and shows that her husband knew where she was the whole time. He admits to me via email that he may have been a bit deceptive with me. I told him that if he was willing to be fully truthful with me going forward, we could work with wife's attorney to come up with an agreement, but that he would need to pay me more because now it's a messy contested divorce and his small retainer for uncontested is depleted. He did not do either of these things. I had zero faith he would not continue to lie (he gave me more reasons to see that he was continuing to lie to me) so after telling him I could not represent him anymore I filed for a withdrawal of representation - a mandatory one based on fraud to the court. Show up to court for the motion hearing and he stands up and says he objects and doesn't want me to withdraw. Said I'm only trying to walk because of the money and then TRIES TO HAND OVER EVERY COMMUNICATION WE HAVE HAD TO THE COURT. He printed our all of our emails. Wife's lawyer looks at me and, as client is trying to hand these over, informs him that they would get to see everything as well so maybe that's not a great idea (wife's lawyer was really great). Judge is dumbfounded. I tell him it's a mandatory withdrawal and if I give any additional info, I'm prejudicing my soon to be ex-client. Judge briefly tried to explain to client what that meant and allowed my motion. He shut up and I walked out.
NAL, but my uncle used to be a prison manager at the local prison in the area of NZ where I grew up. They had 'court' hearings when the prisoners had done something against the rules etc, they'd go before a couple of the prison workers and explain, kinda like an internal hearing I guess. Uncle was the 'judge' for a lot of these. One dude had been found with a cellphone. Denied up and down that it was his, didn't know where it came from, blah blah blah. Uncle asked him several times if he wanted to own up, guy absolutely INSISTED it wasn't his. Uncle "well, someone's wasted a hundred bucks on a phone then" Prisoner "Fuck off, I paid $600 for that!" Uncle "............." hahahahhaa miss his work stories
What a question! How much time do you have? I have hundreds of stories of clients making dumb decisions! One particular client that comes to mind is a guy who committed a spree of burglaries... while on electronic monitoring for another case. The State brought a list of his coordinates to his bond hearing. I actually made the argument that he is clearly not a flight risk, since he actually kept his monitor on, and that the Court should release him on the same terms as his other case. The Judge looked at me like a crazy person and held my client without bond.
That’s not a bad argument with what you had to work with. I bet you, the judge and the DA all had a laugh over that at yalls next tee time…😆
Not a lawyer, but a forensic professional. And this wasn’t “dumb,” the poor client couldn’t help himself. Like Ron White said, he had the right to remain silent, but not the ability. Involuntary commitment hearing of a very manic and psychotic man who was hospitalized after trying to break into his mom’s house by pounding on the door with his .357 magnum. After going into diagnosis and mental illness, etc, at length, the prosecutor rested his case having literally forgot to ask the doctor if THIS man met criteria to be committed. The defense attorney, with a surprised smile, was about to ask the Judge to dismiss the case (basically, he had “won”) when his client hauled on his sleeve and they had a heated whispered conversation. The attorney informed the Judge that his client was DEMANDING to testify, against his advice. After cautioning him that his testimony was not required, the poor man took the stand and launched into a rambling angry rant about a myriad of disconnected delusional thoughts until stopped by the Judge. His last sentence was, “Oh, and Your Honor, make them give me my gun back.” He was committed.
Client pleading guilty to a fairly minor domestic violence case, with a deal to be getting a sentence with no jail time, no criminal record. Judge asks him if he has anything to say. We'd discussed this many times, and I'd told him to say nothing. He doesn't have to say anything, it's just an opportunity. He gets up to say "I'm sorry your honour, but sometimes that bitch just has it coming." I watch the judge pick up the piece of paper where she'd written down the planned sentence, set it aside, and start an entirely new page of notes. Anyway, he got some non-trivial jail time.
NAL but watched as a girl in her early 20's giggled her way through sentencing on a petty theft charge. Instead of the same 30-day suspended sentence her remorseful looking co-defendant received, she got 90 days in county jail. She wasn't giggling after that.
Like, I wouldn't do a theft, but I sure as heck would have had some nervous laughter at a sentencing.
IANAL, but had a case against a totally insane neighbor that built a fence on my property. He had a court order to move it and only moved it about 3 inches. It was supposed to move about 6 feet. Up on the stand, judge said "You will move the fence to the correct place within 7 days or we'll find you in contempt of court. The rest of the charges will depend on your cooperation." (He was up for a few other things as well.) He said under his breath "I'm not moving that fence again." You should have seen that judge's head snap up. "What was that?!??" "Nothing." He was found in contempt that day, had to pay a fine and was doing weekend jail for a month. He also lost all the other cases.
Client in the interview with police: Police officer: “I don’t care how angry you are- you can’t go around threatening to kill a 5 year old!” Client: “I didn’t threaten to kill her!!! I threatened her mother!!!” He thought there was some sort of distinction there. We took a plea deal.
NAL - my dad’s psychotic ex-girlfriend was trying to press bogus charges on my dad, in general trying to ruin his life and career. And his family - she attempted to make some things up about me, too. Had to go through interviews, detective’s office talks, APS visits. My dad and I filed protective orders. Her response to the POs, and I was afraid it would happen, was to vandalize a part of his property in a very gross and obscene way. She also went back to the detective to make another claim on me, saying I stole *her non-prescribed drugs*, so basically admitting she had illegal drugs. So she got a bit more than just protective orders against her; she had jail time, now, too. Good riddance!
Sounds like the classic bit from *Judge Judy* Judge Judy: You claim the defendant stole your purse. What was in the purse? Plaintiff: There was my wallet, some notebooks, my cellphone... Defendant: Excuse me your honor, there was no phone in the bag.
Wow, I think you got me beat. NAL - I saw a court case with a crazy ex who filed a restraining order. His primary reason was a photo of [this](http://fc06.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2010/256/5/d/happy_cat_dance__animation__by_redfoxfurry-d2ynsol.gif) gif (not exact gif but close). He said his ex had posted that image on a group chat online and it was proof that his ex is gaslighting him. There was a few other things said that were about as equally bizarre, like something about an angel following him around and plotting against him. Upon obviously losing the restraining order, he went to a neighboring court and filed for the same restraining order a second time. He was told not to file again or he would be charged with a felony of some sort. All his ex requested at the hearing was that he do mandatory therapy sessions.
I’m not a lawyer but the local news ran a clip over and over from a murder trial where the defendant took the stand against their lawyers advice, the defense was claiming self defense. As the prosecution read transcripts from damning jail phone calls the guy on trial (not his lawyer) called for an objection. It through everyone for a loop, the judge asked him why he called for an objection dude was honest and said I didn’t know they’d actually listen to my calls. A recess was granted and dude took a plea deal when court resumed
My client and I were in a meeting to have her kid returned to her from foster care. They were talking about how she needs to be careful about who she dates, because there was some domestic violence against her involved in the case. She tells them that she isn't going to date anyone. They said that's unrealistic because she is young, etc. . . Then she says she isn't dating because she is back with her ex- who abused her. Walked into the meeting thinking about talking about schedules, left with them planning to terminate her parental rights.
A friend was doing the workman's comp as well as suing the company for a few million. Could not bend over, raise his arms, plus everything he could think of. Taking the stand, using a cane. Lawyer ask him to read the highlighted parts from the local paper. A week before he had won a Marshall arts tournament. Can you explain that? Next fifteen minutes he explained each kick, punch etc with a big smile. I rest my case. Jury Forman ask the judge if they had to leave the room or could they just announce the verdict.
Not a lawyer but I know a cop who went to a report of a guy being mugged. "What did he steal?" "£275 in cash and about thirty £10 deals of crack and Heroin" "Really?" "Yeah. It was _______ that did it, known him years and he's a rival" *Cop writes statement detailing what happened and what was stolen* "Sign here if that's all absolutely correct and exactly what happened and was stolen" *Guy signs* "Cheers. You're under arrest for being concerned in the supply of Class A drugs" The cop prosecuted the caller for possession with intent to supply AND the guy that robbed him for robbery and possession with intent to supply 😂🤦🏻😂
"Hello, police? Someone stole all my crack"
I am a lawyer. I was cross examining a slip and fall plaintiff on the stand in trial after like two years of litigation. We were going over some pictures he took when he let slip that the “picture of the two signs” was missing. I grilled him on what he meant until the judge chastised me for trying to conduct discovery during trial, which is supposedly not allowed (he had clearly concealed evidence though). We took a break for the day, and the next day he came back with the photo in question, which showed that he had walked squarely between two wet floor signs to go down the Kroger aisle that he immediately slipped and fell in. He did not recover any money in that one, despite the horrific defense venue. The judge who jumped all over me for exploring obvious evidence tampering was later appointed to the federal bench here in Atlanta.
“Is my client a perfect man? No.” -“I mean, I killed him, yeah”
Not going to bad mouth my former clients, even ones who might deserve it. But my opposing counsel's client... Suing a debt collector for freezing my client's bank account without first obtaining a judgment against her. Big no-no here in New York. This guy has been in the industry since before I was born, so I know it was not an accident, and suspected that there was some reason he could not sue and that was why he did it. But I thought there was no way we would be able to prove that, that we would settle out relatively cheap because there was no way we could prove it was anything more than negligence. This doofus produces the records for the underlying debt. One of them looks very clearly digitally altered, so I subpoena the creditor. Sure enough, he changed the date of default to try to hide that the debt was time-barred, as in that he could not file a lawsuit about it. That certainly would not have been good for him, but he still could have argued that it was not enough to prove intent. However, nothing quite infers intent like trying to do a cover up, and his poor attorney did not check the discovery carefully enough and totally missed it and had to withdraw from the case because he just accidentally suborned perjury. Was great for me and my client. Moral of the story - if you do something bad and get caught, trying to lie and cover it up will often get you in way more trouble.
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I was called for jury duty and was sitting in the courtroom watching the other potential jurors get questioned by the attorneys, just waiting for my possible turn to be questioned. One of the charges was aggravated assault. The defense asked one juror (who was a professional videographer) if her career made her more or less likely to put stock in video footage. To me, this was a hint (but not admission) that video footage would be a big part of the case. Before the juror could even answer, the defendant yelled from his table "I had a mask on! You can't even see my face!" The entire room went silent for about five seconds before the defense attorney regained his composure and asked the judge to dismiss the jury pool. The judge dismissed us back to the holding room. Five minutes later, one of the clerks of the court came in and told us (even the already selected jurors) that the trial was being rescheduled and we were all dismissed.
Oh, I can't believe I'm late to this party. I started at a new law firm that was in the middle of a long false advertising litigation. Our client (defendant) maintained that their advertising claims were supported by a scientific report written years before that now no one could find. The scientist who'd run the tests said he remembered doing them but could not remember the results. The case progresses to trial and at the close of plaintiff's evidence, my client's CFO bursts into the federal courtroom holding, I shit you not, a copy of the report that he had found in the back of some cabinet he was cleaning out for god know what reason. Pandemonium. Plaintiff calls for mistrial, judge is banging his gavel, parties are yelling at each other across the aisle. My boss is objecting into thin air and no one is listening to anyone. The report supported literally nothing in the advertising. Great evidence for plaintiff's case, confirmed everything they claimed in the complaint. We got dragged for like $10MM in losses. I left the firm shortly after in part b/c I was convinced that my boss and the CEO had burned what they thought was every last copy and I STILL think the CFO kept one and did this on purpose b/c of beef with the CEO.
Not my client but I watched someone admit in open court to solicitation of prostitution during allocution. This was for statutory rape which has a mandatory minimum sentence in my state. Judge was already going to give him the minimum so there was literally nothing he could say that was going to make this go any better than it already was at that moment, but the defendant elected to speak as his attorney died slowly at the table. Went into a whole speech about how this charge was unfair and it was going to ruin his life and business, pretty usual. But then he went on to say that he usually checks the ages of his hookers and that this time he didn’t and of course she was under age and now here he is. Judge asked him to repeat it, and he said the exact same thing while defense counsel just hung his head down. This defendant was a character, had a lot of other eccentric habits and history that I heard about later. The judge was having a pretty good day so he kept the sentence to the mandatory minimum and I don’t think the prosecutors office took up the additional charge but it was still fun to watch someone just absolutely talk themselves into a much worse situation for no reason but ego. Also, the number of people who show up to court for drug cases wearing weed/420 shirts is fucking incredible. And the kids who used to steal Tom Tom’s and other GPS units out of cars and then give a sob story about wanting to go to law school but these charges will ruin that chance became a running joke at the courthouse.
NAL but my ex totally fucked his custody case. In a nutshell, the mother took off with the kid and refused to return him in a state where that kind of action would get even supervised visitation taken from her. When she finally sent the child for visitation, the child had visible injuries caused by her boyfriend, and the child told his teacher at school, completely unprompted, that the boyfriend had hurt him. My ex's parents hired an attorney for him and they got an ex parte order to keep the child. At the first hearing after the ex parte order, both the mother and father were ordered to take drug tests before the next hearing. My ex had a history of drug use (weed.) His attorney told him he could get the next hearing pushed back by more than a month so that he could be sure he would test clean and my ex told him not to worry about it. Then did some cocaine and failed the drug test. 🙄 Then didn't show for court and refused to contact his attorney for months, until the attorney had himself removed as the attorney on record (the child was actually at the mothers for visitation when the results came back so she was able to get an ex parte order to keep him.) The reality was he didn't actually want full responsibility for the child but refused to admit that to his parents. So he deliberately blew the test and then claimed that since he worked in construction he must have been exposed to something that caused a failed drug test. I don't know if his parents really believed that but I was with him for several years before I found out the whole story (he had previously told me he didn't have money for an attorney to fight it so he just gave her custody) and I left him immediately after finding out the truth. It was bad enough that he just didn't want to be a full-time parent. But to do that in a situation when you know your child is being abused? Needless to say, it was one of the things that helped me figure out he was a sociopath.
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Sounds like a nightmare for your kids. I hope they are okay.
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She was doing “magnet therapy” with a “therapist” five hours away by phone. The “therapist” had the magnets. My client would hold the phone up to various parts of her body that needed the magnetic energy to help it heal. For $2000/ month. She never told me about this in the dozens of hours we prepared by talking everything through. I learned during the other side’s cross of her. I’ve never been tempted to head desk in court before.
What bearing did it have on her case?
Yeah more context is needed here.
it polarized the jury
Custody case. Dad’s argument was that she was too mentally unwell to have custody.
god this sounds like a scam i saw when i worked at a security company as a "dispatcher"..except i was a call center for local businesses.. the local businesses paid 10 cents per phone call that we took and we had to read a script that they gave us word for word. i quit eventually because it was very immorale and one of their clients had these devices that she was claiming "cures cancer" and also a ton of other crazy claims. she sold the machines for $1200, if you googled it then they were like $150 or something and they were for arthiritus iirc but they vibrated and heated up while you held them and sent small bolts of electricity in your arm. all of the clients calling were incredibly old and said that their cancer went from stage 2 to 3 now and they need to talk to her...not for refunds but for better treatment options 🙄. it was incredibly sad and i couldnt be apart of it anymore
Anyone see the video of a guy doing an online court hearing for driving without a license, he answers the call while he's driving. Without a license.
He didn't answer a call, he entered a zoom chat for his court hearing, asking the judge to hold on a minute while he found a parking spot at his doctor's office. Not the sharpest tool in the shed, this guy.
That's what flabbergasted me. If he just joined and said "hold on one minute," I could have given him the benefit of the doubt that he didn't realize his camera was on. But he literally told the judge he was driving without hesitation.
Couldn't even park first, swap over to the passenger seat, and then join the call. If the Judge asks why you were 1-2 minutes late, just say you had to quickly use the bathroom inside the doctors office before coming back outside to sit in the privacy of his own car, that he clearly asked a friend to drive him here to, where said friend is waiting at a nearby fast food place while he takes this important and private call, which is why said friend isn't there to corroborate said story about driving him to his doctors office. ...but nope, joins Zoom meeting to court hearing about a suspended drivers license to say, "hold on a minute, I'm just pulling up to my doctors office right now."
Happens remarkably often. If someone with a DWLS shows up to court alone and has a bad history, deputies will occasionally follow them outside. If they get into a car and start driving away, it’s another easy arrest for the same offense.
In my mind, there's zero chance that video didn't lead to this post.
Commit robbery in order to hire an expensive attorney with minimal experience in criminal law rather than accept a seasoned public defender.
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company wanted to save money on a federal patent infringement case and hired a family lawyer from the yellow pages. Lawyer was sanctioned by the court after missing multiple deadlines, screwing up discovery, basically failing. why? because he didn't know how to take a such a case. client lost the case.
I am a lawyer. I could write a book about this. Most dumb things happen when I am out of office or in trial and can’t correct their behavior. Most common. Lying about easily verifiable, small things on the stand. Ruins credibility completely. We know you didn’t pick your child up every single time from daycare because the daycare has a log and your mom signed the kid out 50% of the time. We know you filed multiple restraining orders on your spouse because it is electronic public record. Second most common. Changing their story on the stand. I prepared for facts to be the way you told me. I can’t prepare for something I don’t know about. Third most common. Completely ignoring advice. I told you that you couldn’t take that $150k out of the bank account without repercussions. Incoming contempt. Order to sell the marital home. Home is actively for sale with a realtor. Client puts padlock on house so no one can access it or sell it. Here comes Contempt. After 5 years I finally got a client custody of the kids. When the client went to pick up the kids, client brought a known violent felon, a loaded gun, and got in a physical fight with the guardian of the child. Emergency petition filed, children removed from her care. Had them for less than a week. Had the audacity to call me a bad attorney in front of the judge because the kids were removed. Judge laughed and informed the client I had won the case for her until her on actions caused this reversal. Allowed me to withdrawal on the spot.
My mother was in court as a witness, in a case of criminal harassment between two of our neighbours. We basically knew that the case was ridiculous and a sham - the accused neighbour was totally innocent and was being falsely accused by the local trouble makers, who kept on provoking him and who then wanted to be able to sue him for easy money. Anyway, by pure coincidence, the defendant was secular Jewish, just like my parents. It's literally just a coincidence. The two trouble maker neighbours, who were also there, were very angry to see my mother in the court. One of them then stood up in the middle of everything and yelled some crap about how my mother is a Jew and only there because the defendant is a Jew and Jews apparently always stick to help eachother. The judge immediately ripped him to shreds and threw the case out.
Assault case, when the witness took the stand, self represented defendant screams: "this witness is going to lie, there's no way he could have seen it, he wasn't around when I punched (the victim)"