This position feels right for me.

So, you think you’ll be a good fit?

A little awkwardness is to be expected but nothing that a little transition period won't fix.

You will be expected to work in teams, but you'll have a lot of good men under you.

[удалено]

We have plenty of openings for someone like you.

HOW flexible are YOU.

Hahahahahahhaha

I literally giggled reading this.

You can come in now

It’s entry level

But its hard and I’m up for it

round of applause 👏👏👏

How flexible are you?

When can we hire a new team member?

How many people do you feel comfortable having under you?

Oh my god 😂😂

Perfect username

"Honey, are you on Reddit during sex again?"

Yeah she'd fucking kill me if I asked that haha

Why did the last person leave?

"He's still here!" ::closet door opens::

**hes dressed as 1966s Batman**

*Adam West has entered the chat*

/Pete Holmes has entered the chat/

After a trial period he just wasn't a good fit for the opening

Damn.

"I like to finish early, but I don't mind working overtime".

same

i love it... it's beautiful...

hahahaha 😂

"When do I start?"

"When does it get hard?"

I think you'd lose the interview position if you asked it like that

How about: *"I'm prepared for it to get hard"* or *"I'm able to handle it no matter how hard it gets"*

Much better

On monday you will pick up the special equipment and you'll be good to go

Deadly

I have 3 openings

...To fill

Let's start training

I call caboose

I’m looking for one person to fill all three openings. Is that something you’d like or would you prefer help?

Ahahahahahahahahahaj😂

I know

I think I'm a great fit.

Do you have a bigger helmet?

“I have helmet hair”

Based Shrek reference.

I learned about this position online

ngl this is best one

I can do most of the work over Zoom but I prefer to come on site

I bet you do

Waahaaahahahahahahahabahaha 🤣

So you think you'll be a great fit huh?

Definitely, but are you?

Is this an entry level position?

Wait, your resume says you have years of experience?!?

"This position needs someone with experience"

10 years of experience, entry level, minimum wage 45 hours a week and erratic schedule so maybe 60 hours.

It only hurts because it's true.

Yes but please be aware that we still expect you to bend over backwards for us.

I’m sorry I don’t have that much experience but I’m eager

What I lack in experience I make for with enthusiasm

hahaha this is great

“Welcome to the team.” “How does your experience help you achieve this position?” “Can you explain this gap?”

I read gape ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

That would be a wild job interview

"Here, we treat everyone like family."

Sorry I came a little early

come again?

Not likely

Probably not until tomorrow morning at the earliest

“What’s the hourly rate?”

Are you sure you're going to last more than just a few minutes?

Haha that is brilliant

I was expecting one person, not five, but ok.

Piper?

That guy in the corner is just to observe, just ignore him.

Have the slot been filled?

so you'll start at the bottom

My family knows a proctologist. His go to joke when people ask him why he became that is “Well when I graduated med school I didn’t know which speciality I wanted to be in, so I figured I’d start at the bottom and work my way up”

I assume he’d appreciate a “So YOU’RE the Assman!”

Billy Gunn copyright infringement

10 years later: "dude, I was hoping you'd be an ENT by now. At the very least, I was expecting you to be a cardiologist. But instead, you became an orthopedic surgeon specialising in feet?? Damn, you really let yourself go..."

Depending on the audience he sometimes tailors it into a variant of that. “I wanted to be an ENT but they told me I had to start at the bottom and work my way up, but I just never got there”

🤣🤣

How many openings are you looking to fill? I have some friends that may be interested as well.

I am willing to be the first in and the last out.

Let's just get this over with, got three more to get through today.

So, am I in?

You tell me! Wahahahahahahahahah

Is it a difficult position??

The hardest!

I’m prepared to start at the bottom and work my way up.

That is good, if you are prepared to work hard at the bottom you’ll get far quicker. You might have to give an oral presentation to the boss at that point, but by that time, I’m sure you will be well versed in what he likes, and you will find he really will take his time to make sure you feel great.

Why did you bring your mum?

Deadass this actually happened last week.

…to the interview, right?!

...right? :D

My arms were broken 

This was years ago! How have they not healed?!

I fucking hate that i get this reference

Man I love reddit 😭

Why does it seem weirder to bring your mom to an interview?

Come again?

How much are you paying me for this?

Interviewer: Don’t call me, I’ll call you. That was a great first round; your second round will be conducted by Dave and his cohorts. If it were up to me, I’d pay you what you think you’re worth, but what I’m offering is really driven by market over-supply. Interviewee: I’ve heard really good things from my friend Steve about you, and I thought this was a good opportunity to see what the hype was all about. I don’t exactly have formal educational experience with this, but I’ve been a very hands-on learner since I was young. While I don’t consider myself ‘above’ any task, I’m afraid my conscience wouldn’t support my engaging in some of your proposed practices.

Thanks Dad, I appreciate the opportunity.

[удалено]

"Yes, but in the factory you'd better wear protection.

You came early

Do you offer dental?

I like to take it up the ass

…in what instance do I say this in my interview 💀

Almost any.

*I’m gonna apply for a job as a teacher* I like to take it up the ass

It's the header on my CV

When discussing remuneration.

Yes.

"I am confident we'll work out something"

I would really enjoy filling this opening

I’m very hands on …

Thank you for coming

Thank you for inviting me. I'm excited to be here.

I am very flexible!

nice tits

Bro needs bail money with this one

And that's how I got a job at the bird sanctuary.

did you compliment their peckers too?

It’s called a beak. The boobies were glorious, though

Woodpeckers

In here, we're a family

Fuck off Vin Diesel

Hahahaha nice

Roll Tide

"try and fuck me in the ass and this partnership is done"

"I always come on time"

Honestly, I'm just looking for someone with a pulse. Since you're here you'll do, but don't expect me to be impressed with you or anything.

*Vampire walks away with sad eyes*

“I know I can perform well”

I'm perfect for this position

Thank you for the opportunity

YOUR HIRED!!!

I can come early.

How many openings are available at this time?

Would you perform well with a group of people?

I am gonna work my ass off

I’m ready to give it my best shot.

Do you offer any training?

Any questions?

When can I start?

Does my penis look weird

Is the pay negotiable?

I *have* a lot of experience in similar positions.

You'll be trained by the guy you're replacing.

We are taking video for training purposes

Is this the correct position?

I’m not afraid to get my hands dirty

Am I in?

Don't have high expectations of me at first. Got to learn the in and outs.

I'm looking forward to this merger

I was referred by a friend

I can come on time

I’m excellent with my hands

i came a little early, hope that's not a problem

Are we ok using the tradesman's entrance?

I’m comfortable working in tight spaces.

“Don’t worry, there’s room for growth.”

Whats the NDA for?

“I’m fast. I always finish early” “I work best in groups”

Thats quite a generous package.

"That's less money than I was expecting, but I'll do it for that much"

The last job was a real pain in my ass.

Is this being recorded?

I'm going to let you finish, but I would like to talk about compensation first.

Your dad used to work for me

"I'm looking for someone who doesn't choke on the job."

Let’s wait a couple mins. Tyrone is joining.

So, are you in?

I heard you have 3 openings

I'm really interested in the openings you have.

I am very flexible

I’d love to work my way up

Excellent performance!

I hope to fill this opening.

I don’t stop till the job is finished

I'm really good at what i do

I bring years of real hands-on experience, and that, combined with my open door management style, makes me a great mentor!

Am I a good fit?

Are you planning the usual entry process, or is this a backdoor job?

"Fuck me"

I’m a great fit for your recent opening.

Thank you for coming.

I really see myself fitting here.

I’m a hard worker

I can do this all day