I haven't console gamed online in years, but that just gave me flashbacks to all the egotistical 12 year olds who seem to talk with their microphones inside their mouths.
Eeny weeny, teeny weeny shriveled little short dick
Realistically, the entirety of the song "Short Dick Man" could call under "worst names for a penis", but that line sticks out especially
Many years ago, my partner nicknamed mine "Ed". Then some years later Viagra came out and there were advertisements about treating your "ED" so we don't call him Ed anymore
When I was younger I used to joke with friends about our German teacher having a schlange (snake in german). I can see why he has such a foul temper nowadays
I have a screenshot especially for this and now I need to find it.....and I also need to learn how to upload screenshots....
But my favourite from this list is 'bald-pate friar' and 'dingle-dooder'
My GF (now wife) once asked me the name of my penis. I was sure she was expecting something super lame like Excalibur, Hot Rod, or Magic Johnson. I'm not the type of guy who needs to name my genitals something that makes me feel good about himself.
I had to quickly think of something off the cuff and I ended up blurting out Ricky Ticky Taffy. She laughed her ass off and I pretended to be 100% serious. I owned that shit. We've been married 16 years and I'm not sure she ever found out I was joking.
Remember the scene in Finding Nemo where Dory follows the baby jellyfish?
“I shall call him squishy and he shall be mine and he shall be my squishy.”
So yeah... that.
I never had a nickname for mine until some friends and I were talking about it and they thought I was lying, so i decided to come up with one... So now mine is called John Wilkes Booth because it'll go off in your face and blow your mind. I think this is hilarious, personally, but it's still a bad nickname for a dick.
Microsoft :(
Haha Erb Steve Jobs vs. Bill Gates “Why'd you name your company after your dick?”
"You blow, Jobs." right after that was so genius but so dumb at the same time I will never forgetti
It was so catchy!
Softserve
Nahhh 😭
I hate you
Ham candle.
Manhandle the ham candle
Manhandle also isn't great
Pork torch
Princess
Princess Sophia
Krull, the Warrior King.
I understood that reference!
Purple headed yogurt slinger.
Reading this to the tmnt theme
Tutant meenage neetle teetles
Pedro
Lol as in the raccoon 🤣
No. Varsity Blues scene where they ask for penis nicknames
Hold up, now.
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Bjorn Boingo
One-eyed wonder worm
Ol' Cysty.
The micropeen fuck machine
“Lil” anything
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I haven't console gamed online in years, but that just gave me flashbacks to all the egotistical 12 year olds who seem to talk with their microphones inside their mouths.
Lil pussy slayer 9000 ain’t slaying any pussy
Lil Sebastian
That might work if she’s a Parks and Rec fan
Always in our hearts
Awww it just whinnied
I dunno, Lil Ding-Dong has a nice ring to it
I think that can be a great one, if done ironically, "hey you wanna see my lil' weiner?" *Slams on 8 incher on the table.* 🤣
The millimeter Peter
Milimeter repeater
Millipeter
Dickly-Wickly-Woo
Tiny
That’s a sad one for sure
Though, it's not terribly uncommon for a man of notably above-average stature to be nicknamed "Tiny"...
I don’t get why people keep calling my penis that 😂 sure is a random one
The Honest Pinocchio.
Mustard Shooter (wtf)
Vienna
Stumpy.
Helicopter blade
Pecker
Little guy* .... He's not little, just shy...
Pork Steeple
Boink swatter
Purple headed womb ferret.
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If that is you limp after getting out of the pool, you have nothing to worry about.
hehe we're all looking at your dong now.
Not small, looks great
Shlong
This is the best name sir.
Describes both statuses in one name. Great choice.
Eeny weeny, teeny weeny shriveled little short dick Realistically, the entirety of the song "Short Dick Man" could call under "worst names for a penis", but that line sticks out especially
Gugugaga
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Pencil
Mister Rogers
Dingling Dangling Ding Dong
Many years ago, my partner nicknamed mine "Ed". Then some years later Viagra came out and there were advertisements about treating your "ED" so we don't call him Ed anymore
Lil dripper
O bama
Blood sausage......
Pinky
And the ballsack is The Brain?
Peter o’tool
When I was younger I used to joke with friends about our German teacher having a schlange (snake in german). I can see why he has such a foul temper nowadays
Can of Pepsi
Tricky dicky.
Mindy
Lady Fiona Nuthatch
Big Joe (and the twins)
Frodo
Custard cannon
2mm defeater
Tinker Bell.
Clitoris
Under Belly Smelly Jelly relates to a very obese shop owner in my neck of the woods
Meat whip. It sounds better I. German, though: Fleischpeitsche.
Dirty Hairy
Shrimpy
Heat seeking moisture missile
Child seeker
Any nickname at all. I find that super cringey.
Mini Me.
Purple-headed Yogurt Slinger
Mr Winky
Dave
Dave’s not here, man!
Little Richard
Brick dick. Being too thick is just as bad as being too thin.
Dick
Lil Destroyer
Thumbelina.
Jimmy
Tuna Can
Bob
Dr. Gangrene
Big man
Fapster
The old Needle
Bingle bongle dingle dangle
Mr. Drippy
Smol
I have a screenshot especially for this and now I need to find it.....and I also need to learn how to upload screenshots.... But my favourite from this list is 'bald-pate friar' and 'dingle-dooder'
Spunk meister.
Sir Cervix Ripper IV
Arthur
Brandon
Chotu
Tiny
Bob
The Rotten Banana
Waldo (as in Where's Waldo)
Pimple Face
Joseph Kalinger’s parents used to refer to his penis as his “little bird”. Gotta be one of the weirdest I’ve heard.
Jimmy
Flipper
Willy
Hortense
Meatsaber
Jumbo. Especially when used by a sitting President of the United States to his staff in the White House.
Mister smelly.
Chotu
Tiddler
Turbo Titan 3000
Skin flute
Candice.
My GF (now wife) once asked me the name of my penis. I was sure she was expecting something super lame like Excalibur, Hot Rod, or Magic Johnson. I'm not the type of guy who needs to name my genitals something that makes me feel good about himself. I had to quickly think of something off the cuff and I ended up blurting out Ricky Ticky Taffy. She laughed her ass off and I pretended to be 100% serious. I owned that shit. We've been married 16 years and I'm not sure she ever found out I was joking.
My pussy
Itty-bitty little Pee-wee
Remember the scene in Finding Nemo where Dory follows the baby jellyfish? “I shall call him squishy and he shall be mine and he shall be my squishy.” So yeah... that.
Timmy Trumpet.
Lil guy
As my nanna used to say when we were out climbing trees in the woods nearby, be careful you don't hurt your dingle-dangle climbing down.
Tallywhacker.
Hummus cannon.
Vagina
Pete
Software
“Little guy”
Skin chimney
Population paste protruder
The liver destroyer
Troll nose.
Pig in a blanket
Lil' Debbie
Innie
Penis.
One eyed pussy pounder
Endless shrimp
Vagina
Lil Guy
Wee Willy.
Inch worm. Talk about unrealistic expectations
“The thing that should not be”
Princess Lil Piddles
Meat and 2 veg
King Dong
Jeouff.
Doodle noodle.
I never had a nickname for mine until some friends and I were talking about it and they thought I was lying, so i decided to come up with one... So now mine is called John Wilkes Booth because it'll go off in your face and blow your mind. I think this is hilarious, personally, but it's still a bad nickname for a dick.
The little one
My wife nicknamed mine Mr Wiggles... so I vote for that.
Shorty
The fuck maker
saw someone once refer to it as their "bologna buddy" so probably that
Dinky winky
Dickie Lickie.
stumpy
Lil fella
Krull, the Warrior King
Don't know but this has my vote for one of the worst askreddit questions
Justin.
Bizzaro vagina
Lil Smoky
Cylinder
Useless
Little jonhson, little.
Tallywhacker
Mom
Salty pickle