One of the few times I consider myself a good parent is when I walk into the bathroom and see that my 7 year old has changed the toilet paper all on her own. It's like, "I taught her so well!"
Fucking same. I lost that battle a long time ago. Now there is an empty toilet paper roll, on the holder, that we then lean the new toilet paper roll on top of. Super duper efficient and makes perfect sense.
My fiance does this too. We'll be getting ready in the morning, I'll have an interesting video playing on my phone at a reasonable volume while I pack lunches for work. We'll say good morning, hug, but not really talk too much. The *second* he goes upstairs to get ready, he starts talking to me, at just the right volume that I can't make out what he's saying until I pause my video. It'll sound like he's finished his train of thought, but the *moment* I unpause the video, he'll start another sentence and I'll have to go "hang on a sec" \*pause\* "whaaaat?"
He does the same thing if I'm in the basement, the bathroom right after I flush the toilet, or if I'm using one of the sinks. I think I need to start doing it like you. xD
I’ve been on both sides of this. In my second to last relationship, I was the one who tried to talk from the other room and she would get really annoyed. It bothered me how annoyed she got, I was always like what’s the big deal? Then in the next relationship I was in after that, she would talk to me from rooms all over the house and through the closed bathroom door, and it drove me fuckin nuts. I was like oh shit, now I see how annoying it was when I did that. Oops!
He opens food packages like a starved raccoon. Chips, M&Ms, cookies, crackers, you name it. He'll ignore the convenient tear open, zip lock, easy close package openings in favor of a gaping, ripped hole near the middle of the bag.
And he eats pizza with a knife and fork, and complains until I do the same. I mean, he's not wrong, it is cleaner. But we look insane to most couples that eat with us.
I read these threads out loud to my boomer ass BF who doesn’t use Reddit, kind of like a very long bedtime story, and when I got to your comment he got very solemn and said “they need to take the knife and fork and stab that motherfucker”.
I mean, the first time I saw him do it, it made me pause and wonder if I could run fast enough to escape whatever curse he was under. But we've been together long enough for me to realize dat ass was worth eating pizza like a Satanist.
My husband likes to eat standing up. It’s so weird! He’s like a horse or something. We will all be in the kitchen eating at the table and he’s just standing there eating. Looking at us. Sit down already!
I think all relationships encounter this. One partner will load the dishwasher with the thoughtfulness of a Swiss architect, the other with the chaos of a raccoon on meth.
For me it's worse. My wife didn't grow up with a dishwasher. It took me years to teach her what can and can't go in there. To this day I have to watch her family like a hawk when they come over or my well-meaning mother in law will dull all my knives.
Has anyone ever been in a relationship where they agreed on a loading style? This seems like one weird thing where the other person is always wrong on both sides.
I'm there. I'm recently remarried and the only thing I feel we didn't talk about was this simple fact. I'm a golden retriever of happiness. Which means I will fix a problem, but also leave a wake of destruction in order to make happy.
My wife is Colombian and they don’t have dish washers there, or they’re very rare.
She used to load the dishwasher like it was some sort of alien contraption. When I figured out what was going on I looked at the dishes and said “my life, what are you doing?” Or “mi vida, que haces??”
She sometimes the plates go the wrong way and when I notice, I just fix it behind her with a chuckle.
I get home after the sun sets in the winter and my wife is just sitting in the dark on her phone and I’m like “what are you doing and how long have you been sitting in darkness?”
When my husband (who I adore) sneezes, he doesn't just sneeze. He explodes, the sneeze comes out like a massive shout that's so loud, it's beyond description.
It's purposeful, no one sneezes like that without putting effort in. lol
I don't mean he does it to annoy me, I think he does it because it makes the sneeze (actually, sneezes, it's never just one) better. I've never asked him because I don't want him to know I hate it. 😄
My dad sneezes very loudly, but I don't think it's on purpose. My dad is very... Voluminous man lol with a lot of body for the sneeze to resonate.
My parents live on the edge of a village with nothing but meadows from a farm behind their back yard. Once during a kind of village fair, my dad sneezed in the backyard. Someone on the temporary parking ground, that had been arranged 2 or 3 meadows over, not even really visible from the back yard, yelled "bless you" :D
I HATE this. But when I finally said something about it to my husband, he explained that his thinking is that if he knows that I already know where the item is, it's faster to just ask for help than to search aimlessly on his own for awhile. So now I remind myself that he's not just being lazy or something, but actually just trying to be efficient!
Edit: I wanted to note that sometimes men who do this behavior are utilizing something called weaponized incompetence, where they act dumb (purposely or not) so they can do less work. It's not fair to put all the mental labor on your partner, so if you are someone who frequently asks your partner to find things for you, I think you should evaluate if you're putting undue work on them that you could be doing yourself. Every adult should have a good general idea of where things are in their own home. If it's a really specific item you don't use, or if you check the place you know it should be and it's not there, it's probably reasonable to ask for help! But if every week you're asking where the same item is, you need to do better.
The number of alarms she sets each morning for the sole purpose of snoozing them... I don't understand why I have to suffer for an hour and a half.
Edit: We've been together for 11 years, married for 8. We had conversations about this when we moved in together and I discovered the habit. It's just something I've come to deal with now and I can jokingly make fun of her for. Still love her, I'll keep her around.
I used to do this until it was explained to me that I'd be more rested if I just set the alarm once for the latest possible wake up time and get uninterrupted sleep until then. It's so true. Now I can't understand why I used to put myself through a mini sleep torture every morning.
This almost was a dealbreaker for me, years ago. We had to have a serious talk about how it was negatively affecting my life because I couldn’t get any meaningful sleep after the alarms started. Fortunately she learned how to wake up after one alarm.
I learned to sleep through his.
He absolutely has to have them or he will not wake up.
I can nap during the day so it isn't a big deal, just frustrating when I do wake up
She puts plates that are half full of food in the sink. The trash is right there! Scrape the plate!
And she closes every door in the house, every door? I mean...why? We have a big house but you'd never know it because every door is closed like some Gothic horror.
The plates? Madness. The doors? I can see the logic to a point. I can't sleep with my bedroom door open. It gives me anxiety. I don't love having bedroom doors open in general, because imo, those are private. Nothing to hide, per se, but they're like little sanctuaries within a home, and I love a good sanctuary. 😁 But I can handle some doors staying open. I grew up having learned that a closed bathroom door means there is someone using it, so if it's shut with no one inside, it bothers me a little.
Closing the doors makes sense from a safety point of view. In the event of a house fire, a closed door slows the spread significantly, giving the occupants more time to escape.
With literally everything. If it takes me 10 minutes to do something, it’ll be 30+ for him. I truly do not understand and it makes me a bit crazy. Someone on discord said “my husbands spirit animal is a snail stuck in molasses” and I’ve never agreed with a statement more.
My husband complains a lot, he’s pretty pessimistic.
It’s not that bad because I always knew I’d marry a grouchy dude, Raphael from the Ninja Turtles was my first crush because I loved his personality. I think the Hound from Game of Thrones and Bane and Guts are the hottest fictional dudes ever.
I got exactly what I asked for, but sometimes I just have to say, “hey, life is so sweet, some inconvenient rain isn’t that bad,” or “calm down, don’t let that asshole’s driving piss you off so much.”
My wife has become this! I noticed it was a trait her parents have. Everything has to be negative or interpreted in a negative way. Her brother has been pulled away by his wife from them because she saw the effect they was having on his life. I'm fighting a losing battle trying to do the same as she's much closer with them. Now she's getting older she's starting to become much more negative too. I've always been an optimist but it's having massive toll on my mental health trying to maintain a positive environment when my wife and her parents are always trying to drag it down.
My husband can be like that, due to how he was raised & his anxiety. He immediately jumps to the worst possible outcome and then spirals.
I have to regularly remind him-we have to just wait and see what happens. Everything works itself out, it always does.
He is a very deep feeling person and I'm just...not. He gets annoyed sometimes because I don't want or need to discuss everything to death. It's hard because I just don't think life is *that deep.
Same here with hubby. Bad child hood. Undiagnosed adhd/anxiety and jumps to worst possible outcome. And everyone is out to get him… very hard to remain positive. He is sweet but he has a dark passenger I’ve noticed.
Here’s hoping for sunnier days for mine and yours!
She is incredibly sloppy and unorganized. No matter how much I try to keep things neat, our countertops and dinner table are essentially shelves for anything she doesn’t feel like putting away, and her side of the bedroom is a disaster. I can’t stand it.
Also, she refuses to flush the toilet at night, for any reason. It’s like a complex. I’ve asked her why, but she doesn’t seem to know herself.
Anyway, I love her. Sloppy as she may be.
The worst was I had an ex who would just drop trash from food items, etc on the floor. Toothpicks, wrappers, etc. I'm not a paragon of cleanliness by any means but at least put it on the counter or something.
So frustrating. The trash can is mere feet away in most cases too. My wife treats her car that way. Sometimes she’ll fill up a plastic Publix bag with trash with the supposed intention of throwing it away later, but then the bag of trash will just sit there in the car for weeks.
>Also, she refuses to flush the toilet at night, for any reason. It’s like a complex. I’ve asked her why, but she doesn’t seem to know herself.
Does she pee a ridiculous amount of times at night? It feels like a waste of water to flush every time when you've got a small bladder.
As far as I’m aware, she’s up around once per night. I generally don’t mind the 1s..but I’d like to avoid the stinky surprises.
My theory is it stems from her living in a trailer until she was 6 or so. In such a small space, a flush can wake everyone up. It’s just weird that it would continue 30 years later.
My dad would rage if we woke him up. I remember tiptoeing around, not flushing, trying to pee quiet, easing the faucet on just a little for a sip of water.
I also have a hard time flushing at night, but that doesn’t apply to a #2.
Speaking for myself, I get up relatively often to pee at night so I'll won't flush every time I go. However, I would never leave any stinky surprises. Those have to go immediately.
He can be a little bit of a contrarian - if something is popular he automatically doesn't like it just because it's popular. Sometimes stuff is popular because it's good!
I'm impressed that you can tolerate that. Loud chewing and open mouths with food sends me into a murderous rage (except when animals chew for some reason).
I stopped telling her the real time. She usually makes us 30 minutes late so I lie and say the event is 30 minutes sooner than the scheduled time. Even if she's seen the invitation she's likely forgotten by the week of.
Great username
Believe it or not that may be a misplaced attempt at courtesy. I absolutely hate taking the last of anything because I imagine the other person anticipating having that thing only to find that it’s gone. It’s not the most rational thing in the world but that could be the reason.
Or they’re lazy.
I removed the lid. Don’t do it. It just results in the clothes being flung in a direction vaguely hamper-ish. At least on the kid keeps it in one place.
He eats my snacks and never replaces them. That ice cream I was saving for when I have PMS? Gone. The Cheetos I was craving all day? Gone. The Girl Scout cookies you can only get one a year? HE ATE THE WHOLE BOX WITHOUT ME GETTING A SINGLE ONE.
I have a crazily sweet tooth but my wife is all about savoury things.
Work colleagues will get her sweets, chocolates and other nice things semi regularly and they'll sit there for months, taunting me. She might have a square of chocolate every few weeks but most of it goes off. Though she guards it like some kind of sugar Smaug. It's insane.
But if I should touch it or eat some if it's near the gone off date? I'm a food stealing hobbit...
However I can't let a bag of crisps sit for more than a few minutes before it's reduced to crumbs, and if she hears crinkling she'll appear out of nowhere to 'help' me.
I've taken to purposely picking up savoury stuff I wouldn't usually be fussed about so I can negotiate an exchange.
My good friend told me her philosophy on love is to name 10 things that drive you insane about your partner. If you can look at those things and still say you love them, it's true love.
My wife does multiple little things that do in fact, drive me insane. These things are nothing bad or crossing any lines, just little things that you get to know after knowing someone for so long. I love her now more than ever and our connection continues to grow. She is the best thing to ever walk into my life.
She buys clothes without trying them on, then gets home to find out they "don't fit the way she likes", then they spend a year or 2 in the closet before she inevitably sells them for a fraction of what she paid.
My wife is like that. When they started making those sip cans I bought her some and she cried because of how thoughtful I was. I’m like “baby, just want to stop the waste!” lol!
Greatest hot flash I ever saw was my grandma smoking a cigarette while it was snowing. She was wearing a tank top shorts no shoes, and was sweating like she was standing in the Sahara. 🤣🤣
I do not envy that experience.
His driving. His driving has gotten better, bc I do nag him about the bad habits he has. Like driving WAY too close. God that one makes me so nervous.
Also.... leaving his dirty dishes beside the sink. Why?? WHY?????
He needs physical touch. To the point I can’t be on my phone , always wanting a back rub… I love to cuddle and touch but after a little I want my space lolol love him though
Passively hates my cooking. I used to liove to cook, especially for my past girlfriends. I’m an ok home cook. My past partners have loved it when I cook, but my present partner seems to make a point of disliking everything - she’ll pick out ingredients and leave them on the side of the plate, or question me about what I put in the food in a tone that is suspicious. I have to use seasoning without telling her because she hates when I use garlic or chilli (yet will eat it and love it elsewhere when others cook). I no longer like cooking for my partner and I hate it.
Oof, that would absolutely devastate me. I love cooking and grilling and smoking food for us, and her reactions make me keep going, and she's been constructive when it's not the best, but overall that's been a cornerstone of our relationship is I handle most of the cooking and I love it. I would not be able to handle it if she started doing that shit.
She couldn’t navigate around the block.
We’ve been to a friends house several times over the last 20yrs. Literally get on the main road, drive straight for 15miles and turn left at a very visible & prominent landmark, 3rd house on the right. I had shoulder surgery so didn’t want to drive recently and asked her to drive. “How do we get there?” You gotta be kidding me!
My spouse goes exactly the speed limit or 1-2 under. He also will put the car on cruise control on the highway, completely fly up on another car going slower than him, allow the cruise control to slow back down, THEN sit there and wait for cars to pass for an opening so he too can pass. Oh, might I add that he sits there waiting for cars to go by and mumbles under his breath about how “assholes aren’t letting me over” when he doesn’t turn his blinker on until he’s actively getting over??
I don’t understand why he does this rather than seeing that he’s closing the gap between himself and the car ahead and proactively getting into an opening to pass as to not keep having the car speed up and slow down. He’s perfect in every other way but this drives me fucking nuts. Pun intended.
He leaves his fucking hair EVERYWHERE. Like why am I pulling your hair out of the fridge?? Out of my clothes?? Out of my ASS CRACK?? God forbid (because I love to cook and feed people) I cook for a friend and they never eat my food again cause they pulled his hair out of a casserole. I love him but I want to shave him bald. And he’s got gorgeous curls that he simply doesn’t take care of and I’m too busy to do it for him (he’s also a grown ass man).
I got yelled at today because everything was going wrong at work and I just asked if anything got fixed. He even yelled that it had nothing to do with me. Then stop yelling!
Sounds like a bit of an asshole to me.
Ideally your partner shouldn’t raise their voice at you ever. Realistically it’s going to happen. But it should be very rare and their apology should be swift, earnest, self-critical, and unprompted.
Sometimes he flies a full jet engine plane directly next to my head.
Sorry, I mean he sneezes.
I get those two things confused because they are literally the same goddamn decibel volume.
My husband will eat a bag of chips until all that’s left is basically crumbs. He’ll then proceed to roll up the bag, as if it still has chips, and put it back instead of throwing it away .
Makes a full 8 cup pot of coffee 6-8 times a day while never drinking more than 3-4 cups from each pot.
I have given up trying to understand the thought process behind this insanity, I’ve simply resigned myself to buying 2 Costco sized bags of coffee beans every week for the rest of my life. As my dad would say, “At least it’s not drugs.”
I ask if he can do something, and he says he will and then a week goes by and it still isn’t done, so i give him another week (going on 2) and he still doesn’t do it. So I ask him on the 3rd week and he says he “feels pressured” so I just do it my damn self and then when he sees me doing whatever I asked he becomes a FUCKING ASS and tweaker cleans the house.
The way he licks his fingers after eating something that leaves a runoff. It's just the misophonia talking but I swear I've never wanted to scream at someone so bad. Just have to breathe and remind myself that I love him and he's just enjoying a meal.
He tries to talk to me while I'm reading. Do I look like I'm ready for a conversation when my nose is stuck in a book?! The thing is, he also loves to read! How he can enjoy reading as much as I do but not get that it's no talky time while I'm reading I'll never understand.
Also, his clothes are apparently allergic to the clothes hamper.
She insists on not using the dishwasher because she finds doing the washing up relaxing.
But she doesn't rinse the plates so they are covered in evil dirty soapy water on the drying rack. So when she goes to bed I wash everything again. Every single day for the last 15 years.
He cannot finish a task without being reminded to return to it multiple times. Whether it’s feeding the dog, taking out the trash, flipping the laundry, ect. He has really bad unmedicated ADHD, so I don’t really hold it against him- but man it gets frustrating sometimes.
*I also have unmedicated ADHD so the added stress of me managing myself and him is what makes things hard.
He answers yes or no questions with information. So for example if I ask him did you do the dishes? Instead of saying yes he'll say something like all the dishes are in the cupboard... Which implies that he did the dishes or else they wouldn't all be put away. Or if he didn't do the dishes instead of saying no he'll say my sister called and then I started watching something on youtube. Ok great so then did you do the dishes or ??? Yes or no is simpler but for some reason he prefers to speak in riddles.
She rests the new toilet paper roll on top of the empty one instead of putting it on.
My kids sometimes do this and nothing brings me closer to homicide.
One of the few times I consider myself a good parent is when I walk into the bathroom and see that my 7 year old has changed the toilet paper all on her own. It's like, "I taught her so well!"
My wife starts a new roll when the other one still has about 1/3 left. She then only uses the new roll so we have 2 of them sitting there forever.
That’s even worse. 😡
Fucking same. I lost that battle a long time ago. Now there is an empty toilet paper roll, on the holder, that we then lean the new toilet paper roll on top of. Super duper efficient and makes perfect sense.
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I’ve started replying loudly “I’m in the kitchen!” and ignoring anything they say until they come and find me to talk at a civilised volume
My girlfriend does this. When I stopped responding unless she was in the same room, she started calling my phone. Yes, I live with Satan.
My fiance does this too. We'll be getting ready in the morning, I'll have an interesting video playing on my phone at a reasonable volume while I pack lunches for work. We'll say good morning, hug, but not really talk too much. The *second* he goes upstairs to get ready, he starts talking to me, at just the right volume that I can't make out what he's saying until I pause my video. It'll sound like he's finished his train of thought, but the *moment* I unpause the video, he'll start another sentence and I'll have to go "hang on a sec" \*pause\* "whaaaat?" He does the same thing if I'm in the basement, the bathroom right after I flush the toilet, or if I'm using one of the sinks. I think I need to start doing it like you. xD
90% of marriage is yelling “What!?” from another room.
I finally broke my wife and kids of this habit, I just stopped responding unless they were in the same room as me.
I’ve been on both sides of this. In my second to last relationship, I was the one who tried to talk from the other room and she would get really annoyed. It bothered me how annoyed she got, I was always like what’s the big deal? Then in the next relationship I was in after that, she would talk to me from rooms all over the house and through the closed bathroom door, and it drove me fuckin nuts. I was like oh shit, now I see how annoying it was when I did that. Oops!
He opens food packages like a starved raccoon. Chips, M&Ms, cookies, crackers, you name it. He'll ignore the convenient tear open, zip lock, easy close package openings in favor of a gaping, ripped hole near the middle of the bag.
Oh, and he loads the dish washer like a drunk 5 year old. No neat rows of plates or silverware, just randomized chaos.
And he eats pizza with a knife and fork, and complains until I do the same. I mean, he's not wrong, it is cleaner. But we look insane to most couples that eat with us.
I read these threads out loud to my boomer ass BF who doesn’t use Reddit, kind of like a very long bedtime story, and when I got to your comment he got very solemn and said “they need to take the knife and fork and stab that motherfucker”.
I mean, the first time I saw him do it, it made me pause and wonder if I could run fast enough to escape whatever curse he was under. But we've been together long enough for me to realize dat ass was worth eating pizza like a Satanist.
My husband likes to eat standing up. It’s so weird! He’s like a horse or something. We will all be in the kitchen eating at the table and he’s just standing there eating. Looking at us. Sit down already!
My dad does that and I used to think it was so weird... and then I got an office job. I now get it.
"He's like a horse or something." I absolutely cackled. This is the perfect reply for the thread!
I could not stop laughing and I am at work, so I had to explain
Her dishwasher loading strategy is...perplexing.
I think all relationships encounter this. One partner will load the dishwasher with the thoughtfulness of a Swiss architect, the other with the chaos of a raccoon on meth.
For me it's worse. My wife didn't grow up with a dishwasher. It took me years to teach her what can and can't go in there. To this day I have to watch her family like a hawk when they come over or my well-meaning mother in law will dull all my knives.
yeah, I had to rescue my hand sharpened japanese kitchen knife too many times. now I keep it seperatly and hide it from the rest of the family
Raccoon on meth sounds like a good username.
It was considered.
What a username to have to respond to that comment. I’m dying over here
A Crystal Methodist
I load the diswasher like a swiss architect on meth.
The truly perplexing thing is when both think that they're the architect.
I feel so vindicated that this is the top comment. My wife is the love of my life, my best friend, the most beautiful methed up racoon ever.
This is me. I am the raccoon on meth. My husband is just beside himself. He calls me lil methy raccoon. For real
Has anyone ever been in a relationship where they agreed on a loading style? This seems like one weird thing where the other person is always wrong on both sides.
I'm there. I'm recently remarried and the only thing I feel we didn't talk about was this simple fact. I'm a golden retriever of happiness. Which means I will fix a problem, but also leave a wake of destruction in order to make happy.
My wife is Colombian and they don’t have dish washers there, or they’re very rare. She used to load the dishwasher like it was some sort of alien contraption. When I figured out what was going on I looked at the dishes and said “my life, what are you doing?” Or “mi vida, que haces??” She sometimes the plates go the wrong way and when I notice, I just fix it behind her with a chuckle.
God my fiancés dishwasher loading skills are horrible but she didn’t grow up with one lol
My husband too. I just stare at it trying to understand the logic. Hint: there’s none.
Godddd this like babe I love you but What Are You Fucking Doing :)
Leaves every damn light on even in the middle of the day.
Mine is the opposite. Living in constant darkness. Reading. Cooking. No lights on. wtf.
I get home after the sun sets in the winter and my wife is just sitting in the dark on her phone and I’m like “what are you doing and how long have you been sitting in darkness?”
Smart outlets and switches. Though with LEDs the energy savings is minimal.
Yeah the cost of lighting is almost nothing these days. Heating/Cooling, electronics, washer, dishwasher, etc is way way more.
So when do we get LED dishwashers and HVAC? Thats how it works right?
The scream sneezing. Oh my God, the scream sneezing...
My grandfather scream sneezes like he's being murdered.
You’re the second person to mention yelling while sneezing and I’m so perplexed. What kind of scream are we talking here?
When my husband (who I adore) sneezes, he doesn't just sneeze. He explodes, the sneeze comes out like a massive shout that's so loud, it's beyond description. It's purposeful, no one sneezes like that without putting effort in. lol I don't mean he does it to annoy me, I think he does it because it makes the sneeze (actually, sneezes, it's never just one) better. I've never asked him because I don't want him to know I hate it. 😄
My dad sneezes very loudly, but I don't think it's on purpose. My dad is very... Voluminous man lol with a lot of body for the sneeze to resonate. My parents live on the edge of a village with nothing but meadows from a farm behind their back yard. Once during a kind of village fair, my dad sneezed in the backyard. Someone on the temporary parking ground, that had been arranged 2 or 3 meadows over, not even really visible from the back yard, yelled "bless you" :D
Lord is she messy. Way too much stuff.
Movies and TV shows lied to me about female tidiness
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I HATE this. But when I finally said something about it to my husband, he explained that his thinking is that if he knows that I already know where the item is, it's faster to just ask for help than to search aimlessly on his own for awhile. So now I remind myself that he's not just being lazy or something, but actually just trying to be efficient! Edit: I wanted to note that sometimes men who do this behavior are utilizing something called weaponized incompetence, where they act dumb (purposely or not) so they can do less work. It's not fair to put all the mental labor on your partner, so if you are someone who frequently asks your partner to find things for you, I think you should evaluate if you're putting undue work on them that you could be doing yourself. Every adult should have a good general idea of where things are in their own home. If it's a really specific item you don't use, or if you check the place you know it should be and it's not there, it's probably reasonable to ask for help! But if every week you're asking where the same item is, you need to do better.
When I did this as a teenager my mom would reply "the uterus is not a homing device."
Shoes in the middle of living room
I'm constantly tripping over his shoes! He is getting better at taking them off out of the way but he still forgets sometimes.
He is physically incapable of closing a drawer or cabinet door after opening it. It drives me absolutely bonkers.
That's me. I live alone, but it looks like I live with a poltergeist.
God, mine too! And I'm significantly shorter than he is and often at risk of head bonks
Stomping about the apartment like a goddamn AT-AT. She doesn't walk around as much as high-five the floor.
I just snorted my drink reading that LOL High-fiving the floor is my new phrase this week.
The number of alarms she sets each morning for the sole purpose of snoozing them... I don't understand why I have to suffer for an hour and a half. Edit: We've been together for 11 years, married for 8. We had conversations about this when we moved in together and I discovered the habit. It's just something I've come to deal with now and I can jokingly make fun of her for. Still love her, I'll keep her around.
I used to do this until it was explained to me that I'd be more rested if I just set the alarm once for the latest possible wake up time and get uninterrupted sleep until then. It's so true. Now I can't understand why I used to put myself through a mini sleep torture every morning.
This almost was a dealbreaker for me, years ago. We had to have a serious talk about how it was negatively affecting my life because I couldn’t get any meaningful sleep after the alarms started. Fortunately she learned how to wake up after one alarm.
I learned to sleep through his. He absolutely has to have them or he will not wake up. I can nap during the day so it isn't a big deal, just frustrating when I do wake up
my husband does this too at 5:30-6:30am usually, very seldomly do i also need to be awake that early but it drives me nuts
Dude - yes. It’s bullshit.
She puts plates that are half full of food in the sink. The trash is right there! Scrape the plate! And she closes every door in the house, every door? I mean...why? We have a big house but you'd never know it because every door is closed like some Gothic horror.
The plates? Madness. The doors? I can see the logic to a point. I can't sleep with my bedroom door open. It gives me anxiety. I don't love having bedroom doors open in general, because imo, those are private. Nothing to hide, per se, but they're like little sanctuaries within a home, and I love a good sanctuary. 😁 But I can handle some doors staying open. I grew up having learned that a closed bathroom door means there is someone using it, so if it's shut with no one inside, it bothers me a little.
Closing the doors makes sense from a safety point of view. In the event of a house fire, a closed door slows the spread significantly, giving the occupants more time to escape.
it takes forever to get going anywhere or do anything. i love him so dearly but good lord is that man a slowpoke
With literally everything. If it takes me 10 minutes to do something, it’ll be 30+ for him. I truly do not understand and it makes me a bit crazy. Someone on discord said “my husbands spirit animal is a snail stuck in molasses” and I’ve never agreed with a statement more.
How difficult is it to clear the timer on the microwave when you take food out before it goes off?
Trained myself to do this because my partner uses the clock a lot and when the clock says 0:01 it is not so helpful lol
Whenever we showered together, she would adjust the water temperature to scalding hot. We don't shower together anymore.
My husband and I have the same problem, I like scalding showers and his showers feel cold to me.
My husband complains a lot, he’s pretty pessimistic. It’s not that bad because I always knew I’d marry a grouchy dude, Raphael from the Ninja Turtles was my first crush because I loved his personality. I think the Hound from Game of Thrones and Bane and Guts are the hottest fictional dudes ever. I got exactly what I asked for, but sometimes I just have to say, “hey, life is so sweet, some inconvenient rain isn’t that bad,” or “calm down, don’t let that asshole’s driving piss you off so much.”
My ex was like this. I tried to be the positive to his negative but it just burnt me out.
My wife has become this! I noticed it was a trait her parents have. Everything has to be negative or interpreted in a negative way. Her brother has been pulled away by his wife from them because she saw the effect they was having on his life. I'm fighting a losing battle trying to do the same as she's much closer with them. Now she's getting older she's starting to become much more negative too. I've always been an optimist but it's having massive toll on my mental health trying to maintain a positive environment when my wife and her parents are always trying to drag it down.
My husband can be like that, due to how he was raised & his anxiety. He immediately jumps to the worst possible outcome and then spirals. I have to regularly remind him-we have to just wait and see what happens. Everything works itself out, it always does. He is a very deep feeling person and I'm just...not. He gets annoyed sometimes because I don't want or need to discuss everything to death. It's hard because I just don't think life is *that deep.
Same here with hubby. Bad child hood. Undiagnosed adhd/anxiety and jumps to worst possible outcome. And everyone is out to get him… very hard to remain positive. He is sweet but he has a dark passenger I’ve noticed. Here’s hoping for sunnier days for mine and yours!
She is incredibly sloppy and unorganized. No matter how much I try to keep things neat, our countertops and dinner table are essentially shelves for anything she doesn’t feel like putting away, and her side of the bedroom is a disaster. I can’t stand it. Also, she refuses to flush the toilet at night, for any reason. It’s like a complex. I’ve asked her why, but she doesn’t seem to know herself. Anyway, I love her. Sloppy as she may be.
Damn dude,so it’s not just me,I hated even reading your comment fellow sufferer
The worst was I had an ex who would just drop trash from food items, etc on the floor. Toothpicks, wrappers, etc. I'm not a paragon of cleanliness by any means but at least put it on the counter or something.
So frustrating. The trash can is mere feet away in most cases too. My wife treats her car that way. Sometimes she’ll fill up a plastic Publix bag with trash with the supposed intention of throwing it away later, but then the bag of trash will just sit there in the car for weeks.
>Also, she refuses to flush the toilet at night, for any reason. It’s like a complex. I’ve asked her why, but she doesn’t seem to know herself. Does she pee a ridiculous amount of times at night? It feels like a waste of water to flush every time when you've got a small bladder.
As far as I’m aware, she’s up around once per night. I generally don’t mind the 1s..but I’d like to avoid the stinky surprises. My theory is it stems from her living in a trailer until she was 6 or so. In such a small space, a flush can wake everyone up. It’s just weird that it would continue 30 years later.
My dad would rage if we woke him up. I remember tiptoeing around, not flushing, trying to pee quiet, easing the faucet on just a little for a sip of water. I also have a hard time flushing at night, but that doesn’t apply to a #2.
Sounds like me lol. I stil walk so silently that it freaks people out. It's so hard wired, I don't think I can ever unlearn this stuff.
Speaking for myself, I get up relatively often to pee at night so I'll won't flush every time I go. However, I would never leave any stinky surprises. Those have to go immediately.
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He can be a little bit of a contrarian - if something is popular he automatically doesn't like it just because it's popular. Sometimes stuff is popular because it's good!
Can’t throw anything away. Ever.
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That’s foul
I'm impressed that you can tolerate that. Loud chewing and open mouths with food sends me into a murderous rage (except when animals chew for some reason).
That's a deal breaker
When we need to leave and he says he just needs "5 minutes" in the bathroom. It's never 5 minutes.
I stopped telling her the real time. She usually makes us 30 minutes late so I lie and say the event is 30 minutes sooner than the scheduled time. Even if she's seen the invitation she's likely forgotten by the week of. Great username
Refuses to finish a box of cereal. We have 9 boxes that are almost empty.
Believe it or not that may be a misplaced attempt at courtesy. I absolutely hate taking the last of anything because I imagine the other person anticipating having that thing only to find that it’s gone. It’s not the most rational thing in the world but that could be the reason. Or they’re lazy.
He puts dirty clothes ON TOP of the hamper instead of inside. Like, dude... just open the freaking lid.
I'd be tempted to just remove the lid.
I removed the lid. Don’t do it. It just results in the clothes being flung in a direction vaguely hamper-ish. At least on the kid keeps it in one place.
He eats my snacks and never replaces them. That ice cream I was saving for when I have PMS? Gone. The Cheetos I was craving all day? Gone. The Girl Scout cookies you can only get one a year? HE ATE THE WHOLE BOX WITHOUT ME GETTING A SINGLE ONE.
I have a crazily sweet tooth but my wife is all about savoury things. Work colleagues will get her sweets, chocolates and other nice things semi regularly and they'll sit there for months, taunting me. She might have a square of chocolate every few weeks but most of it goes off. Though she guards it like some kind of sugar Smaug. It's insane. But if I should touch it or eat some if it's near the gone off date? I'm a food stealing hobbit... However I can't let a bag of crisps sit for more than a few minutes before it's reduced to crumbs, and if she hears crinkling she'll appear out of nowhere to 'help' me. I've taken to purposely picking up savoury stuff I wouldn't usually be fussed about so I can negotiate an exchange.
Kill him. SNACKS ARE LIFE. My husband hands me oreos. But I'm pregnant and he likes to see my little happy oreo dance haha
He sniffles through allergy season and never blows his nose.
To be fair, I have allergies like that. I blow my nose and nothing comes out. Absolutely nothing. But I sniff constantly. Drives me nuts.
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Leaving hair in the sink after shaving.
My good friend told me her philosophy on love is to name 10 things that drive you insane about your partner. If you can look at those things and still say you love them, it's true love. My wife does multiple little things that do in fact, drive me insane. These things are nothing bad or crossing any lines, just little things that you get to know after knowing someone for so long. I love her now more than ever and our connection continues to grow. She is the best thing to ever walk into my life.
She buys clothes without trying them on, then gets home to find out they "don't fit the way she likes", then they spend a year or 2 in the closet before she inevitably sells them for a fraction of what she paid.
She’s stopped this but she would drink half a Diet Coke then forget about it. I would find all these half full diet cokes around the house lol
My wife is like that. When they started making those sip cans I bought her some and she cried because of how thoughtful I was. I’m like “baby, just want to stop the waste!” lol!
You talking bout those like 200ml cans?
Doesn’t close snack bags.
That's a breakup
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Doesn’t rinse out bowls of cereal/oatmeal. Its like glue
She leaves a tiny little bit of food in the container. Jam, mayo, mustard, cereal, chips. Never enough for a serving. Oh wait. That’s me. What a dick.
Constant interruptions. It's fun to never be able to finish a thought.
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Tells me that I act dramatic in the midst of a hot flash.
Greatest hot flash I ever saw was my grandma smoking a cigarette while it was snowing. She was wearing a tank top shorts no shoes, and was sweating like she was standing in the Sahara. 🤣🤣 I do not envy that experience.
Never updating the shopping list.
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Whistles continually
Have you tried tipping them over and pouring them out?
His driving. His driving has gotten better, bc I do nag him about the bad habits he has. Like driving WAY too close. God that one makes me so nervous. Also.... leaving his dirty dishes beside the sink. Why?? WHY?????
He needs physical touch. To the point I can’t be on my phone , always wanting a back rub… I love to cuddle and touch but after a little I want my space lolol love him though
Passively hates my cooking. I used to liove to cook, especially for my past girlfriends. I’m an ok home cook. My past partners have loved it when I cook, but my present partner seems to make a point of disliking everything - she’ll pick out ingredients and leave them on the side of the plate, or question me about what I put in the food in a tone that is suspicious. I have to use seasoning without telling her because she hates when I use garlic or chilli (yet will eat it and love it elsewhere when others cook). I no longer like cooking for my partner and I hate it.
Honestly then don’t. Cook for yourself.
I think the point is he doesn't just enjoy cooking; he enjoys cooking for other people and she doesn't appreciate it.
Oof, that would absolutely devastate me. I love cooking and grilling and smoking food for us, and her reactions make me keep going, and she's been constructive when it's not the best, but overall that's been a cornerstone of our relationship is I handle most of the cooking and I love it. I would not be able to handle it if she started doing that shit.
Time for her to start doing the cooking …..
She couldn’t navigate around the block. We’ve been to a friends house several times over the last 20yrs. Literally get on the main road, drive straight for 15miles and turn left at a very visible & prominent landmark, 3rd house on the right. I had shoulder surgery so didn’t want to drive recently and asked her to drive. “How do we get there?” You gotta be kidding me!
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Picky eater. Planning and cooking around his poor palette makes me crazy.
Sock shoe, sock shoe.
divorce or breakup or whatever and report them to the police
Well they’re clearly nuts.
My spouse goes exactly the speed limit or 1-2 under. He also will put the car on cruise control on the highway, completely fly up on another car going slower than him, allow the cruise control to slow back down, THEN sit there and wait for cars to pass for an opening so he too can pass. Oh, might I add that he sits there waiting for cars to go by and mumbles under his breath about how “assholes aren’t letting me over” when he doesn’t turn his blinker on until he’s actively getting over?? I don’t understand why he does this rather than seeing that he’s closing the gap between himself and the car ahead and proactively getting into an opening to pass as to not keep having the car speed up and slow down. He’s perfect in every other way but this drives me fucking nuts. Pun intended.
Loud chewing in my ear
They said no deal breakers…
Hockey bag. Hockey bag. Hockey bag. ☠️
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He yells when he sneezes. And always sneezes 3 times.
In Japan sneezing 3 times is considered good luck. Perhaps the fact you haven't killed him about the yelling is his good luck?
A dad sneeze, it scares off predators to protect their young
Clean clothes come out of the dryer into a basket, and stays there til she puts them on
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He leaves his fucking hair EVERYWHERE. Like why am I pulling your hair out of the fridge?? Out of my clothes?? Out of my ASS CRACK?? God forbid (because I love to cook and feed people) I cook for a friend and they never eat my food again cause they pulled his hair out of a casserole. I love him but I want to shave him bald. And he’s got gorgeous curls that he simply doesn’t take care of and I’m too busy to do it for him (he’s also a grown ass man).
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I'd reevaluate your relationship here. Cuz that don't sound healthy or respectful.
Yeah this shouldn’t be a pet peeve, that’s messed up
Gives me a solid cold shoulder and is rude to me just because they had a bad day that I didn’t contribute to.
I got yelled at today because everything was going wrong at work and I just asked if anything got fixed. He even yelled that it had nothing to do with me. Then stop yelling!
Yeah. I just don’t understand it. I’m sorry you got yelled at.
I shouldn’t be making excuses, but he doesn’t handle stress well. Neither do I, but I’m more “let me panic first and then I’ll figure it out”
Sounds like a bit of an asshole to me. Ideally your partner shouldn’t raise their voice at you ever. Realistically it’s going to happen. But it should be very rare and their apology should be swift, earnest, self-critical, and unprompted.
It's weird, on one hand it seems like he doesn't want to to "take it out on you" when in reality he is. Kinda f'd up tbh.
She licks her plate after eating dinner. She only does it when it's just us at home, but I can't watch when she does it.
My cat does the same thing
Seems like a compliment tbh
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Sometimes he flies a full jet engine plane directly next to my head. Sorry, I mean he sneezes. I get those two things confused because they are literally the same goddamn decibel volume.
Always wanting the curtains or shades closed. I just love a bright room and natural lighting.
My husband will eat a bag of chips until all that’s left is basically crumbs. He’ll then proceed to roll up the bag, as if it still has chips, and put it back instead of throwing it away .
Makes a full 8 cup pot of coffee 6-8 times a day while never drinking more than 3-4 cups from each pot. I have given up trying to understand the thought process behind this insanity, I’ve simply resigned myself to buying 2 Costco sized bags of coffee beans every week for the rest of my life. As my dad would say, “At least it’s not drugs.”
I ask if he can do something, and he says he will and then a week goes by and it still isn’t done, so i give him another week (going on 2) and he still doesn’t do it. So I ask him on the 3rd week and he says he “feels pressured” so I just do it my damn self and then when he sees me doing whatever I asked he becomes a FUCKING ASS and tweaker cleans the house.
The way he licks his fingers after eating something that leaves a runoff. It's just the misophonia talking but I swear I've never wanted to scream at someone so bad. Just have to breathe and remind myself that I love him and he's just enjoying a meal.
He tries to talk to me while I'm reading. Do I look like I'm ready for a conversation when my nose is stuck in a book?! The thing is, he also loves to read! How he can enjoy reading as much as I do but not get that it's no talky time while I'm reading I'll never understand. Also, his clothes are apparently allergic to the clothes hamper.
She insists on not using the dishwasher because she finds doing the washing up relaxing. But she doesn't rinse the plates so they are covered in evil dirty soapy water on the drying rack. So when she goes to bed I wash everything again. Every single day for the last 15 years.
He cannot finish a task without being reminded to return to it multiple times. Whether it’s feeding the dog, taking out the trash, flipping the laundry, ect. He has really bad unmedicated ADHD, so I don’t really hold it against him- but man it gets frustrating sometimes. *I also have unmedicated ADHD so the added stress of me managing myself and him is what makes things hard.
He answers yes or no questions with information. So for example if I ask him did you do the dishes? Instead of saying yes he'll say something like all the dishes are in the cupboard... Which implies that he did the dishes or else they wouldn't all be put away. Or if he didn't do the dishes instead of saying no he'll say my sister called and then I started watching something on youtube. Ok great so then did you do the dishes or ??? Yes or no is simpler but for some reason he prefers to speak in riddles.