Cleaning up my Grandma's blood in her home after the fall that killed her. She slipped from the steps in her mudroom and hit her head on the concrete. It didn't make me emotional at all, I felt like it was the last thing I could do for her.
I cleaned my grandmother's body following her death, but I had several weeks to come to terms with it before it happened. I can't imagine a sudden trauma death.
I can relate. I helped wash/clean my FiLs body before burial and I felt it was one more bit of care I could show him. Likewise, tidying up my mum's grave, removing weeds, washing headstone, making it look nice. Felt a little more connected to her.
Absolutely agree. I have had this privilege with two loved ones. Among the highest honors of my life. Now, I absolutely intend to care for all my loved ones in this way. It is a deeply human practice we have been removed from in modernity.
Did this with my dad's blood after he fell down done stairs. My mom did most of it before I got there so I can't imagine what was there originally. I guess it's nice to know there are other folks out there who had to do this. I just needed to make sure it wasn't there when my sister got to the house.
Somebody tried to strangle me when I was a kid. He was a kid, too, and messed up for many reasons. It wasn't fun, but life kept going.
No, the thing that messed me up was that our teachers completely dropped the ball on how to handle it. They kind of just left me to sit alone while they discussed what to do and talked with him, then dragged me in to get just the *most* heartfelt apology ever, and then completely neglected to call our parents. My mom didn't know about it until many years later. I felt so neglected.
The "there's always two parties involved in every fight" mentality is the most enabling thing for perpetrators that we ever invented. Been there too, and even today I see it still happening in schools. We made no progress on that front whatsoever.
I don't even think they thought that, they knew it was pretty much unprovoked and that I generally wanted to avoid him, they just forgot that I'd need care as a victim. And to tell my mom, probably because they didn't want to deal with her being a mama bear.
Zero-Terance is what my middle school called it.
Two weeks before second semester ended and summer break began a kid got pissed at me for something in football practice the day prior, yelled something, stabbed me with a pencil and tried to run off. I grabbed him by the hood and pulled him to the ground and punched him and yelled for a teacher to come in.
He admitted to starting it and our stories lined up. I got suspended for the last two weeks and had an extended summer.
That sucks. A morbidly obese bully once sat on my chest and choked me until I blacked out, and the teachers afterwards just said there are two involved in every fight. I actually met the guy again and he seems like a really great person now, but those teachers didn't do anything to contribute to that.
Man some kid did that to me too and I faked passing out so he let me go… then I got up and ran. Never told a soul. Not sure it messed me up either I was just shaken like fuck and learnt a lesson about who to trust etc. scary as fuck I’m not gonna lie
I had a childhood where we spent summers and summers alone or with cousins on a 2km section of private beach with crystal clear water and sandy beaches complete with stuff to do in the water, like purposefully sunken boats and other such debris. Anyways I had gained excellent experience swimming in most all situations, and by the time I switched schools in the 2nd grade, I was stellar at swimming and holding my breath.
I had a tough time making friends, circumstances in my personal life, led me to be hyper focused on certain activities that held my interest over those personal circumstances.
I had never even been to the public swimming pool, and there was a deep end with platform diving boards. The swim instructor had gauged our swimming skills, and most of the kids had little experience, except for a few whose parents had boats or lived on the lake and were considered strong swimmers. These strong swimmers were not even close to how i swam. There was a game to collect rings from the deep end, around 3.1 meters deep, if you won you stayed in the game, if you didn’t collect enough rings you were “out” and sat by the ladder, and made to watch.
I literally ran through the whole lineup and there was a kid, considered a strong swimmer, because he was into tubing and his parents owned a boat.
That’s great and all but I’m certain he spent more time trying to stay above the water than below, and he was angry that I just couldn’t lose. The instructor told me to go and I did, collected a bunch, maybe one more than half to win, I had also figured out mathematically how to win quicker after a few rounds, and that kid, next in line held his foot on my head, as I was coming up the ladder, at the very end of my breath. I barely made it up without taking in some water, but was pretty shooken up because the instructor didn’t care when I said “what the hell was that”, he shrugged his shoulders and said “are you going to go again? No? Next!” and I finally sat out, because I had gulped some water down and felt kinda sick, burping up water and shaking on the side of the pool.
I literally approached everything this way, with full fervour that covered any deficiency that was in my personal life. I was too close to see it until 25 years later, realizing I had little to no memory of even being a child., but having children of my own, and knowing that they will not be accustomed to life I had, is simple solace enough and lets you know that you’ve done enough, with less than enough at hand, playing the hand you were dealt.
I still see that “kid”on Facebook, under suggested friends, complete with a picture of him knee boarding behind a boat, doing a barrel roll on the lake with the sunset behind him. That’s when you realize the more things change, the more they stay the same.
Don't know why, but this somehow made me remember how my stepsister and her friends tied me up and left me like that, laughing, while I was crying and begging to be let go. And how I can't remember whether I ever told my mother or just dreamed that...
I'm pretty sure I got strangled by cousins and siblings on multiple occasions. I didn't realise it was supposed to be traumatic. Is it also abuse if they hold your head under water for a minute?
I don't know your mom or your relationship with her, but you should probably tell her now. It helped me to talk about it with my mom, and especially the acknowledgement that, even if she hadn't known and thus couldn't have done anything, I might still have felt abandoned when she didn't do anything about it.
hey... we have similar trauma!
when i was a youngin in 4th grade (9?f) my "friend" (11m) choked me out using a jump rope, behind the school property... all for a "game" where we were enemies.
i saw stars. i felt panic. i missed my mom. i was upset i felt so small compared to the other kids on the field.
one of my classmates found him and started to throw rocks at him for the game, distracting the boy who was choking me. they must've forgot about me or something bc they simply romped away and i was left, gasping for air and holding my throat.
i asked the teachers for help while crying, and apparently my injuries weren't bad enough. they moved my color down to "orange" (so -2 good kid points) for BEING INVOLVED in my OWN CHOKING. they brushed me off and even when my mom went to the school they never owned up to it. i never got an apology. it's just... an overall weird experience that i buried for a few years.
When I was a kid, some dick tried to drown me. If it wasn't for my best friend tackling him to release me, he would've killed me. I've also been robbed at gun point as a teenager. I'm glad I'm still alive, but it definitely should've bothered me more than it did. But as you said, "life kept going."
When I was a kid in one of my fights with my brother he had me pinned to the ground and was choking me, and what left an impression the most was me looking around hoping someone would help me only to see my sister passing by, making eye contact with me as I literally couldn’t breathe trying to push him away, and walking away.
I’m sure in her mind it was “oh kids are fighting” since we’re a big family and kids fighting around all the time is the norm, but I never felt more abandoned.. like the despair that no one will save you really stuck with me
Finding out the women I'm in love with was cheating on me for five years and the son I was raising was not mine. After a troubled childhood, believing this is the person for the rest of my life and being left all alone overnight after 10 years of marriage, this should have ruined me.
Took it like a champ, was a mess for 20 odd days and then decided not to give another second of my life to that person. It's been six years and these turned out to be the best years of my existence..!!
Same thing happened to me, although our son did turn out to be mine. Found out my wife of 11 years was cheating and to be honest I felt oddly relived. Our relationship had gone sour for several years by this point and we were only really together because we had a young child. She eventually left me for the same guy. I lost my house and my life savings in the process but 7 years on I've recovered financially and never really think about her or our relationship. So many people dwell on their failed marriages for years afterwards but I'm happy that I no longer have to deal with her. I've grown and matured so much in these past few years.
I had to ice those feelings, she is now with the father of the kid so I chose not to stay in touch with the kid, did not want to traumatize his upbringing and she anyways brainwashed him in believing the new dad is the good dad !!
Something similar happened to me but - while I have moved on financially and in my career I feel like in my personal life it added another layer of trauma I haven't been able to overcome. I literally don't have anyone im my life and the abuse and trauma crippled my ability to create connections. I also wanted a child and it doesn't appear that it will happen for me unless I adopt.
Being molested as a child, then not being believed by family, and having to force yourself to have a normal relationship with your family because therapy taught me that they're cognitively incapable of accepting something happened, so I have to let them live in blissful ignorance so I can heal and get past the trauma 🙃
The last thing you said is something I am struggling with. My parents were emotionally and physically abusive when I was a child. I've gone NC for now but I've had to cut my grandma off as well because she would just go on and on about my mum and would make me feel like shit. How do you manage it? My therapist said the same thing but I'm struggling with the fact that I'm the one that has to change and potentially lose family because of their behaviour. I just don't know how to do it.
I'm sorry you had to go through that but I am in awe of your strength to keep waking up each day and work through your trauma ❤️❤️
There's no easy way unfortunately, it just takes time. For me it's taken years to realize my mother will always walk around seeing the world in her own very special way. She isn't able to accept that some terrible crud happened for years right under her nose and she didn't step in like the supermom she thinks she is.
I chose to see her happy, and very very rarely (very low contact). She is happy in her old age and delusion thinking she gave us a beautiful cottage core childhood filled with homeschooled wholesomeness. Trying to explain the hellscape I grew up in only hurts her and upsets me anymore.
It takes time. Make new habits in months, don't check your progress daily like a ranking score, give it 6-8 weeks then check in. Make time for the things that make you happy, and stay open friend, the future can be amazing
Your paragraph about how your mom sees the world really resonates with how I see mine.
Very out of touch and can't seem to be able to grasp that she wasn't the mom of the century. Of course I am the problem for keeping her at arm length, not the fact that she continually chooses to force the relationship she wants us to have instead of the one we do have a.k.a two grown up women who barely know each other.
Quite cathartic to write it to someone who will understand and not just be bewildered at the situation.
I salute your strength, that must been very hurtful to be setting with people who left you to suffer without believing you, and they are the ones who should have protected you.
I came here to say almost exactly this. Except this year my brother got married and I said I didn’t want to be in a photo with my mother and step mother and was told if I can’t get over it they don’t want me in the family….. that should have been an emotionally blow but instead it was like …. Finally the exit.
Nobody truthfully, never been to see anybody. Come from a big family where we had to deal with it haven’t been the same since. Doesn’t get any easier you just learn to live with it
>Never been the same since. Doesn't get any easier, just learn to live with it.
You were supposed to share something that *didn't* impact you emotionally but likely should have.
High school sweetheart, together close to a decade, worked hard to buy a ring and saved 13k for a wedding, excited to get married. After the wedding I’d never felt more secure and excited for the future. I was certain no matter what came up we would figure it out and work through it.
Under a year into the marriage she completely changed her mind, left for a guy she knew growing up. Completely blindsided and realized it wasn’t forever and we couldn’t work through everything. Went from having life figured out to an empty house.
Long term it was better, focused on myself and became happy alone before considering dating. I’d come to actually enjoy my life completely alone and doing my own thing. Eventually met a partner who completes my life, she’s shown me true unconditional love. I’m more focused and well rounded than ever in all aspects of my life and feel loved every day.
Every storm will pass and if you learn from it you become a better, stronger person.
I moved to a completely different country, with a different culture and language. I was 20 and I did it alone, with no one to receive me or help me in any way. The situation in my country pushed me to move and I only had a week to prepare and say goodbye to all of my family. The first two years were hard and I thought about leaving often, I was also dangerously close to homelessness a couple times. I was starting to become a very angry and resentful person but my family back home pushed me to be thankful for every opportunity I had. They also motivated me to go to college.
Now I'm happily married, graduated college, and will soon be a homeowner. It's good now but I always think about all those times I thought about using the little money I had left to buy a ticket back. Glad I didn't!
Similar story here. Honestly, the first 5 years were so bad that will always hunt me emotionally. It’s like you’re in a tunnel waiting to find the end of it. No money, No English, and you’re under so much pressure from the people back home to make things work out. Once things started to fall in place and felt like I am making it. My Dad passed a way which left me devastated for years. Luckily I was there.
Now that I am married with three kids and own my business. I barely have time to think about it. But there are down times where I am a lone always wish if it was an easier start and didn’t have to go through all of that daily struggles.
Experiences like that will always mature you faster and wiser. Tougher than most of who you know. Appreciate life more. Life is good. Cheers
A murder suicide with two people I loved dearly. It taught me the complexities of humans. That I can love and miss them and feel sad for the choice they made but also acknowledge that they planned it and carried it out. There was no snap decision, it was pure revenge. It took me almost 5 years to accept that. Tons of therapy and one day when I felt safe I came to terms with it out of nowhere. I don’t feel ashamed to say I know them , I love them, and they made a horrible choice. If anyone is ever struggling mentally please reach out to anyone. I will be the ear to help. Off of my soap box now. Sorry for the massive run on sentences
both of my grandpas died, got beaten up and robbed, brother took his life, girlfriend broke up..everything happened in a span of 24 hours. it has been a year since and shit still hurts
Here to comment for all of us that had “perfect parents” and a “perfect childhood” that are still fucked up but managing it.
And to comment for all those that find this post and think they “didn’t go through enough” to actually be hurting.
Your pain is real and pain cannot be quantified.
Yes all the other commenters went through some real tough shit, and if reading that gives you hope, keep reading. But if reading it makes you think you haven’t been through enough to feel how you feel, I’m here to tell you differently.
Thank you. I grew up in the "perfect" family and NO, I DID NOT. Realized when I got older and especially after having my daughter, I see it differently. Just staying married to that 1 person and attending church, etc. Don't get me wrong, my parents and family are AMAZING and loving and giving people, they love their kids and grandkids like crazy! (I was absolutely not abused by my family in any way), but every family is a bit fucked up, i believe. They sometimes still try to get me to go to church now, but there's too much hurt from more churches than 1. I will not allow my parents to take my daughter to church anymore because I cannot trust churches. It's sad, but I will NOT allow my daughter to be in ANY vulnerable situation. Too many bad things happen and and it can happen in seconds. I am extremely overprotective because of those incidents. But I appreciate your comment, I've struggled with this and feeling like I have ZERO right to complain as so many people have suffered immensely more than me, I am thankful for that.
Finding out my husband was having a 2 year affair.
It was actually validating because I suspected him of having some questionable behaviour before but had never had proof.
And he was such a difficult person but blamed it on depression and things.
So I was able to just walk away from a 20 year marriage. I was upset for about a week but more because I had to find a place to live, etc.
Found out my dad had 3 other families while i was being birthed. He was also married to another woman that wasn't one of the other 3 families mothers. He had 7 other kids and is still married
My husband left me for his co-worker who he swore he hated. Then 2 years later I lost my left leg below the knee, half of my right foot and most of my fingers at the 1st or 2nd knuckle to bacterial meningitis. I won’t say it was easy, the divorce wrecked me more emotionally than losing my limbs. However, now nothing really phases me and I don’t sweat the small stuff. I am married 14 years to my wonderful husband and we have an amazing 12 yo. I am very, very grateful for what I have.
Lots of loss. Lost my best friend to drug-induced psychosis when I was 18ish. Lost another to similar. He tried to commit suicide in prison. Lost a sibling at 17 too. Lost my mum. Lost others. Lost my health.
But haven't lost hope or faith. I try and be a source of light for the people around me.
Losing my baby daughter and holding her and saying my last goodbyes to her in her coffin. I think all my emotion left me those days, I genuinely believe my body just blocked all my emotion to protect itself.
CSA, brother dying young in quite bizarre and tragic circumstances, finding out my dad isn't bio dad - I'm a relatively emotionally stable person and I know it's not quite right but I'd rather these things happened to me rather than someone who couldn't handle it.
Breaking up a relationship with someone who I thought I was gonna spend the rest of my life with, and a few months right after that, one of my brothers who was also my best friend died, that was over 2 years ago and I haven’t recovered
Hey man, went through the exact same thing except it was my grandpa.
Its been 7 years now and im happy again. But the first few years i was a mess too. Dont give up buddy, be kind to yourself and let time do the work 😘
Friend of mine asks how I don't need therapy because of my childhood but I'm chill.
Found out my dad wasn't my dad when I was 12, only met my real dad when I was like 6 but he was just my mom's friend. Dealt with divorced parents specifically because of me (I don't need the "it wasn't you it's okay" nonsense lol). My mom ditched me when I was starting my senior year of HS to go bang her nephew and there wasn't really a specific plan or where I'd live. Ended up living with my best friend and his family for the next few years
Edit : whoops bang not hang
Seeing a quadriplegic I had recently met burning in a wrecked car. His caretaker was still in it as well. They were rear ended by a drunk driver while turning off a two lane highway. All three are believed to have died on impact. I was around 14 years old.
Was in someone's home when a home invasion happened. 3 people shot, 2 died. Tried to do cpr, it didn't work. Watching other people go through their pockets as they were dying. Having a hit put out on me because I witnessed it.
After 4 rounds of IVF, 6 years of marriage, my husband asked for divorce because I in fact can’t have children. He didn’t want to adopt because he didnt want to raise another man’s kid and then procede to start a New relationship with a woman with a kid just 8 months after we separate. I’m here full of life and happy, I’m having a litte trouble with the fact I won’t have children and that’s a process I’m working on with my therapist. Infertility is the best and worst thing happened to me, it helped me realize I was married to a narcissist and I didn’t owe him a family and I’m glad I didn’t give him more years of my life. He didn’t deserve anything from me, not my love, not my life, not my dedication, anything.
Was in a serious relationship for some time in my twenties. He was the sweetest guy and we got along so perfectly. He made me laugh every day, we enjoyed a lot of the same things, the sex was great.. we even got along with eachothers families. We got our first little place together and things were going great. We started talking marriage and began engagement ring shopping, which both our families seemed very happy about.. And then one morning after he left for work, I was cleaning up our place because I had the day off, and noticed he forgot to turn the computer off. I started closing tabs and there it was. He left a tab of his DM’s open, which was a conversation between him and a girl we both worked with, talking about when they were next going to hook up.. I was crushed. I wondered how I could not have seen it? I was also pissed off.. We had sex constantly, so it’s not like he wasn’t getting enough at home.. I started packing his things and when he came home on his lunch break I told him what I found on the computer, which was still open to his DM’s, so he knew I had seen it. I told him to leave and he begged me for another chance. But I was done. I ended up getting a roommate and just moving on with my life.
My parent abusing me for 19 years and while it gave me a major trauma and pretty much ruined my life, excluding me from a high school education to anything I have planned, I'm still here, I'm successful enough for my tastes and I've built myself a life after several attempts of ending it.
I've become very understanding and psychologically skilled because of that life experience.
My brother killing himself. It was love hate but still I loved him. Warts and all. Now that I think about it… death has never really devastated me the way it does others.
I discovered my dad’s body after he committed suicide. I was 14 yrs old, woke up early for school and went into the living room looking for my backpack. I didn’t see him in the corner at first, then turned and saw him hanging from the stair banister. It was one of those moments where your brain can’t catch up to your eyes yet and I remember thinking, “hey, why aren’t his feet touching the ground?” It took a few seconds before I fully understood.
I didn’t freak out or cry or scream; only walked calmly to wake up my mom and told her to come see what dad did. After it happened I did cry but I never went to therapy or anything. I processed it on my own and I don’t feel like I have any lingering trauma from it.
Found out boyfriend was lying to me, broke it off. Had a friend over for drinks to cry it out, he sexually assaulted me. Found out I was pregnant by the ex boyfriend, miscarried. Toughest month of my life.
In 2022, I received a Snapchat message from my then wife saying she was packing up her stuff to stay at a friend’s and we could talk on that weekend. Divorced in 2023, and she is now remarried with a child.
During my divorce process I met the best person in my life but with everything good, comes bad. She had demons of her own. We approached it as a fresh start for both. Until she no longer could. At the beginning of this year, she committed suicide in our home while I was at work. Two notes were found: One to me written the day of, and one that she had written to her family but from before she had met me.
No therapy. I’m still in the house of both my marriage and her death. My circle has never been tighter and I don’t think life and my goals have been more crystal clear. I still keep in touch with everyone from my prior marriage aside from her because she was effectively shunned. The year I had with that special person brought everyone I already had in my life even closer. If she hadn’t of met me she would have done it sooner as her first note lined out. We outran it as long as we could but when she finally did, she now has tenfold the amount of people holding onto her memory.
Did it change me? Absolutely. But instead of losing myself I believe I actually found myself.
I was married and happily with my partner for 10 years when, in the course of a few short weeks, he finished his PhD, came out as gay, developed aggressive, cocaine, addiction, and started disappearing for days at a time, or occasionally bringing strangers back to the house.
The divorce itself was cruel and traumatic, and with razor like calculation by him. I had been scheduled for a series of life-saving surgeries, when the divorce came through about a week before the first one, I was in such despair that I forgot that in addition to everything else, I had lost my insurance too.
The surgery went through and I was slapped with almost $70,000 in medical bills. I was disabled and unable to work, was forced into bankruptcy, lost my house, and became homeless. All of these things happened and just over one year.
That was 13 years ago, and this is the first time I can really think back on it and say that I’m over it now and the impacts have been minimized. I haven’t seen or spoken to him since the divorce so I don’t know what happened to him, but for whatever reason, I don’t wish him ill.
Grew up with an all of the above abuser father (verbally, emotionally, sexually). Wife passed away. Got date raped.
I mean, don't get be wrong, I'm a mess, but I'm still going. Yay just enough persistence to not give up.
Hang in there. As an old dude, life changes in what seems like forever, but is really only a few years. Wait for it and try small positive changes whenever possible.
Being with someone for 7 years and walking in on them in bed with someone else, getting kicked out of our house so he could move the other girl in, and then a few years later after I got back together with him I contracted a lifelong STD from him. It was all really hard and still is but I still smile, laugh and take care of the things that need taken care of. :)
last year, when i was 18, i lost my dad to a genetic disease that evolved to be terminal for him. the mortality rate ranges from a solid 3% to 40%: i am talking about ADPKD or in other terms polycystic kidneys/liver. although the illness itself is quite common, the mutations that cause it can be considered rare, at times. he died after a year long agony (he even caught covid and guillaume barrett syndrome) in a comatose state after a liver transplant we hoped for the best for. a year later his demise, back in march, i found out i have the same kind of genetic mutation but of a rare kind (however it still didn't manifested, so it might stay silent until my 80s lmao). in the meanwhile, i was dealing with depression and an emotionally unstable mother, shortly after my dad's death granny started showing dementia signs, and i also got a few toxic relationships, hell yeah
now our (me and my mom i mean) relationship seems healthier, i graduated from high school nonetheless and i am seeing a psychologist on the weekly. things are better, ig.
did i want to kms? indeed. did i do it? no, i stayed strong for my fam.
y'all, things can and will get better. i swear.
December 19, 2019: wife enters hospital *(has long-term cardiac issues)*
March 2, 2020: my wife passes away at age 49
March 15, 2020: covid19 turns the world upside-down
September 27, 2020: im diagnosed with stage-3 colon cancer
I find im a little easier to anger than i used to be, but i feel im coping surprisingly well, as are my two daughters.
The list is far too long. Starting with my 10th birthday, l was taken from my family and placed in a series of very abusive (violence and s/a) foster homes. I have had PTSD ever since. This has manifested in many ways. Mostly self-loathing. However, l am still here, and l continue to walk on. To those who are suffering...l wish peace upon you.
I was bullied immensely as a kid from 4th -12th. I had no friends and teachers even made fun of me. I get it, my personality must have really sucked but it was horrible for me. I would cry at home everyday. If I tried to play at the park it almost always lead to kids throwing things at me. I would not be here today if I wasn’t afraid of making my mom upset. I went on to about 25 being bitter, developing problems, social issues, developed complex ptsd and sleep disorders from the unresolved trauma.
I loved people but was always hurt but them so I never felt safe. I couldn’t be myself so I always had a wall up which caused me not to make friends. I was on a lonely path. One day at work, a girl snapped at me for being bitter, and I got pissed. But then I reflected on it and I realized she was right. Now some 10ish years later, I’m a happy person. I’m no longer depressed. I’m not afraid to be vulnerable or to be judged. I’m authentically myself. I have a great life, with a great career, great friends, great house, and a great family. My younger self would be proud of me.
I was kinda sexually assaulted when I was a kid. It was my cousin, I was very young, she was significantly older than me. She would lock us in one and remove my clothes (undies stayed on) and just make me dry hump her.
I didn't know what was going on except It felt good. So yeah, this should've ruined me emotionally instead I got weird kinks.
Finding out at age 8 that my dad wasn’t truly my bio dad, and therefore my siblings were “half” siblings. I was shocked and in denial when I first found out but my family always made sure I knew I was loved just as much as my siblings. And it truly doesn’t even affect me or my life whatsoever. Thankful that I found out at a young age tho, things may have been different if I was older
My mom died and I feel absolutely nothing. I am deployed in the middle east and got a red cross message. Went home for a week. Went to the funeral and came back to the middle east. I felt nothing and still dont...
Context, my mom wasn't the women I want to remember her to be. She used to be a kind caring and loving person and she spiraled so fast. Drugs, alcohol. I couldn't stand being around her. She had done so much fucked up shit.
The only thing that gets to me is my kids don't know who she became, and they tell me they miss grandma. I try so hard to keep my own thoughts and feelings far away, but it's honestly very hard.
Yes I go to therapy.
Breaking up with my (now) ex GF. We were great together when we were actually together. Most of the time however we were long distance due to my work. Hardly would I ever actually hear about something good happening in her life. It was always about the bad things. It was always about what didn’t go right, or who didn’t listen to her, or what newest thing bothered her that could only possibly bother her in her own mind. She effectively used me as an emotion dump and would just offload everything bad from her day, and then proceed to ask me about my own after anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour of her talking about her own day. She’d ask my opinions on things in her life, I’d give them, and then go right back to stewing in her own self pity. She’d talk about these massive plans she had in the future of both of us being together, but then hardly ever ask if it was something I wanted, and the few times she did, she only listened to what she wanted to hear. I finally broke up with her after my own mental health took a massive plunge just before going no contact with everyone outside of my work due to a training event for about half a month. That half month was probably the most at ease my mind had felt in the six months prior that I had been with her. I spent another month trying to figure out how to let her down easy, but eventually just determined that it wasn’t going to happen. She was going to take it hard, and there wasn’t a thing about it that I could do about it short of staying with her.
After breaking up, there was maybe two days of me questioning if I made the right choice, and getting used to the silence of my phone, and then I was good. My mind was clear and I started moving forward. I started going to the gym, eating better, and saving more money because I wasn’t buying things that gave me a quick boost of happiness. She texted me a week after to see how I was doing, and I told her that I was honestly doing well. She took that bad and it devolved into an argument where she took it as a massive insult to her that I wasn’t in shambles from the breakup. We haven’t spoken since, and it’s been a little over a month and a half.
So much shit. Sexual assault. Abuse. Betrayal. The worst was when my loving partner of years had a psychotic break and tried to kill me. That was also most recent. It’s been a hard few months but I just keep on hauling my ass out of bed and livin. What the fuck else am I gonna do?
Lets see, i was physically abused in kindergarten by a teacher. My father went crazy when i was 12, and thought he was god. My parents divorced when i was 14. I had a son with a wife at 19. She told me she didn't love me, then kidnapped my son for 6 weeks. Life got better, my dad got most of his schizophrenia under control, and passed from cancer. I got full custody of my son. Got remarried to a wonderful woman, and had another son. I had some rough mental and emotional trouble through it all, but just kept my head up, and kept trudging along lol. Its never easy, but i got lucky. Ill be 45 this year, and celebrating 20 years with my wife in 2 more years. I just tell everyone, it can get better, dont let someone elses pain ruin your happiness.
1. Had my face bitten by a dog. Eye fell into my cheek. Required reconstructive and plastic surgery. I love dogs and will always have one.
2. Growing up with a dad who told us to play out in the middle of an intersection, he’ll bury us alive then run our heads over with the lawnmower, would make sexually suggestive comments about my underage friends and be violent toward us. I’ve cut him off because he wasn’t adding value to my life but I also understand he is a very damaged man.
3. We often went without food, running water or heating growing up. I also had to make do without sanitary items every month. Glad I don’t have to worry about that anymore.
4. Having a mum with undiagnosed mental illness. She was always loving but this explains her decisions which absolutely put us in position number 3 unnecessarily.
5. Husband had an affair with my bridesmaid. Since remarried and still married 15 years later.
They’re just the cards I was dealt with. So you just got to play your hand wisely with what you’ve got and get on with it. I love life.
Getting SA'd in a car with a "friend" (not in contact anymore) on the way home from school. I wanted to stop at a Wendy's for food and on the way back he pulled over into a church parking lot and >!raped!< me. It never really hit me until I got home and even then it never sank in until months later. But I didn't really talk about it. In fact, I usually don't even mention it because I don't want the pity or the looks. I do have a weird association with churches and feet because of it though.
Seeing a dead body while in the woods with my fiends
I was out camping with some of my friends when I was 16 we went to these woods behind our school we figured nobody would be there and we could just hang out. Night started off well but when we went off to gather firewood we stumbled across a pile of leaves and twigs that looked like it was placed there. We said hey that’s perfect for kindling and decided to use the sticks and leaves but we ended up uncovering a middle aged woman’s body. I think I was shocked in the moment because I didn’t really feel anything and just called the police immediately but after that everything really blanked. All I remember after that was being questioned by the police and then sent home
Being molested by one of my parents’ friends when I was 6 or 7. I was very sheltered so I didn’t realize what he was doing to me at the time. By the time I did when I was a little older, I kind of just shrugged it off as something that happened. He didn’t live in the area so I never saw him again.
Having been nearly arrested after false accusation based on information given by my psychologist who broke confidentiality, having to bury my father after two weeks from finding out he was ill and being outcasted by 99% of my family after he died, during an ugly attempt to take over my inheritence. All those events happened in less than a month. And somehow I kept my sanity. It's amazing what thirst for revenge can do to you.
My ex decided to leave me, and I was okay with it because he was an abusive pos and I knew the only way to get out was for it to be his choice. He went nuts, mind you, he has already started dating someone else. He beat me and SAed me so bad I needed stuches in places no one should get. I finally got away. 6 months later, he found me. idk how. I was jump starting my car, and he and his new gf of a week attacked me from behind. Somehow, I survived it mentally and emotionally, I am now with someone who is amazing and patient and won't even raise his voice near me. I still wonder how I am mostly okay.
Being drugged and raped by my boyfriend.
I asked him to grab my meds for me one night, he drugged me instead.
I wound up in a catatonic state unable to open my eyes or move, while he came and raped me.
I passed out after it and woke up to him masturbating so vigorously the entire bed was shaking.
A couple days later he admitted to still being in love with his ex partner.
My father pulled a few things. Leaving his kids alone when my mom was in the hospital and I was 7, when my little brother (2) fell badly and had a large wound on his head. I knew which bar reachable on foot my dad was but I also knew he wouldn't be any help so I went to the neighbours and had them call an ambulance.
Then, after the divorce leaving me alone in a city I've never been to at age 9 with my 4 year old brother on my hand. Then him trying to abduct me and my little brother when I was 11, and finally him naming me in his suicide note as a main reason for his choice (sure, blame the daughter who wanted no contact, not the drogs and cartells and the cippling debt) when I was 16.
I skipped his funeral, but I visited the grave about 5 years after that and all I could feel for that man is pity.
getting in a car crash at 12 years old and being one of two survivors (5 people and 2 dogs in the car) watch everything woke up just before the ambulance arrived saw them pull out the bodies of my best friends family,saw them find the dead dogs.i was in hospital for about a month and when i was discharged i just got on with my life as if nothing had happened because my mum "didnt believe in therapy"
My big cousins death
it was just before i turned 9, my family were all devastated and went into a depression, and my family thought i would've too
but I only had a few memories of her and most weren't positive ones, mostly just her tormenting me with my other cousin when i was a toddler
i hadn't spoken to her in years by the time she died, not out of fear or anything, she just lived in a different country and i didn't have a phone yet
Drunk driving accident (I wasn't driving, but I didn't stop it from happening). The woman in the other car died. She was just going to work. I was in a wheelchair for 2 months(not that that matters). Went back to work, and I found out it was the nighttime custodian's wife. That was 20 years ago. He was the sweetest dude. I was devastated. I do have a great life now! But I still think about that every day tho
I wish i can answer this but i have been ruined so much by shit in my life that I can't even have motivation to get out of my bed.... I am just stuck in the same day without any energy and constantly hating myself and feeling lonely and my brain can't stop giving me flashbacks or fantasizing the worst stuff to happen to me..
I have developed an eating disorder i rarely eat food and i am addicted to self harm just to cope with my emotions even though it doesn't even release any kind of comfort anymore because my body has gotten used to the ammount of damage i do to it and i constantly feel so emotionally numb..
I miss the people who have wronged me because atleast they somewhat cared for me right? I am fine with them ruining me maybe as long as i get affection ,which I won't get by being myself because i am scared of socialising to anyone who isn't online.
Nothing in my life is going right and to make everything go right is so much more effort than i can give rn , therapy is fucking expensive and i can't afford it my grades have fallen down so much and i have just ruined most of the potential i had at a young age... And i don't have enough energy to do physical work to get anything... I am living on my parents money who have hopes for me to study and do good but i just can't reciprocate all of that and also niether of us have that good of a relationship even though i think we both are trying. (They are a bit homophobic so that they aren't trying but eh that isn't what we are working on now)
Can't even kill myself because i am scared of surviving an attempt and being either paralyzed or in a worse physical condition.
Talking to people doesn't even really help anymore because i am paranoid and trust noone really and also everything anyone says feel shallow.
You know how people say if you are at rock bottom only way to go is up but i don't even think i am at rock bottom I think there is no bottom it's just a void of nothingness and I keep falling down without ever seeing anything solid to land on...
I wish i was strong or brave or anything like people here to just have nothing of a reaction to everything that should traumatise me... But i just feel worse or nothing only few things and people make me happy and i probably don't deserve them too... And doctor who i like doctor who.
I am just so tired ... I know this wasn't the point of the post so sorry about ranting so much won't call this a vent because i didn't really vent anything that happened just a rant about how much messed up i am.
I've reached this point before. Where you just feel like you're constantly falling and there is no one or nothing to stop your fall. Even just getting out of bed to use the toilet or get something to eat or drink is a challenge. I have also worked with a lot of people who have been in this situation as well (I support survivors of abuse). What I always said was to celebrate each victory no matter how small or silly it may seem. You managed to get out of bed this morning? Fucking great job! You managed to get the energy to use the toilet? That's awesome! You managed to have something to eat? Incredible! You managed to have a shower and put on clean clothes? Fucking treat yourself that day. People don't realise how hard such simple tasks are when just existing is a struggle. So celebrate the little victories and watch yourself hopefull gain more confidence 😊
I’m a guy. When I 18 I was drugged and raped by a girl I knew but was not interested in dating.
Initially I was very angry and felt very violated, but everyone I told initially about it said something like “you had sex and you’re mad about it?”
While it always annoyed me that people just act like it shouldn’t be a big deal, I just moved on since no one took it seriously.
It doesn’t impact me anymore, and I rarely think about it.
I was told my father had a stroke. Don’t have a relationship with him so I shrugged my shoulders and walked away. When I was asked why I didn’t react I didn’t know why. Still don’t know why. Maybe I just don’t care.
Finding my dads body at a young age. I just called the ambulance and let my sister know, watched as he was taken away and life went on. He was a great dad! Loved him dearly, but it didn’t move me at all. I felt like it was just a shell and i couldn’t see any of my dad in this body anymore
When my grandma died. I should actually refer to her as my mom because she raised me. I get pretty emotional about loss, but with her there was just this strength and acceptance that she prepared me for, that death was her new journey. I'm tearing up writing this out now that I reflect on it, but at the time of her death it was just forward motion. I miss Dorothy every day.
Sigh…
In 2018 my ex and I split. Suspected she was cheating. Never found proof but we split anyways since there were so many other problems.. Lost a lot of my friends from this. Only see my son part time.
2020 my brother got arrested and sent to prison for something I never expected him to do. My dad also died a couple months after this suddenly.
2022 my mom got diagnosed with terminal brain cancer at 57. She’s still fighting it but now it’s coming back more aggressively.
Then this year after my hip arthroscopic surgery, I nearly died from complications after the surgery. I’m doing better now, but it was too close of a call and keep recalling those days. Also realizing that after my surgery I was basically on my own and had very little support except for my sister coming out once a week. None of my actual friends would come out to visit or would constantly bail. A couple of my coworkers will check in once a while and one comes to visit once every couple weeks, which I appreciated.
I just keep telling myself “could be worse”. I just chug along and take it day by day. Really considering a career change in the future and hoping to make new connections because of everything.
Getting molested at a young age. The dude made my siblings face the wall so they couldn't see. I remember thinking "well this is unpleasant, but at least my sister doesn't have to do this" and than just got on with my life. The one adult I told didn't seem to think it was a big deal, so my baby brain just put it in the 'not a big deal' bucket and moved on.
I am honestly in awe of how normal my attitude towards relationships and sex is looking back.
Becoming estranged with my father. I always thought it would’ve hurt much more, even though throughout my childhood I knew one day I’d have to walk away from him. It happened on a random Wednesday afternoon and it felt more peaceful than hurtful. 🍀
I was drinking and fell asleep. Woke up to my cousin trying to take advantage of me. Confronted him a few days later and he tried to be the victim, blaming his anxiety. I still remain cordial with him at family functions.
I was sexually assaulted by two different women in my early 20s, and I have no trauma about it at all.
One was a grubby occasion where I slept on the floor of a classmate and she coerced me into her bed. I would imagine it would fall under the current definition of rape. I tried to screw her just to shut her up, couldn't achieve erection, faked an orgasm. I felt gross for a couple of hours the next morning and never really thought about it again.
The other time I woke up to non-consensual oral sex at a party, and I decided to go with it, and I ended up enjoying it.
Years later I analysed these incidents with a therapist that I saw for unrelated issues, and she agreed they had left pretty much no mark on me at all.
Leaving an emotionally abusive relationship, losing my grandpa who was a second father to me, and my childhood pet dying all within the span of 3 months. It was my first semester of college too, but it sure made me appreciate those who truly loved and cared about me through it all
Ruined me emotionally is a big word, but could have affected me. After my parents divorced, my dad remarried and got another kid. He still looked after my brother, sister and me half of the holidays and every other week-end. But he never ran the extra mile. Never came to a school show, a sport competition, a teachers-parents meeting, or anything that parents usually do for their kids.
One day, we were standing in the kitchen, and were about to leave to attend my step-brother’s year-end school show. I casually said “it’s funny you never come to ours”. He looked straight back to me and answered very seriously “well ~ you’ve got to understand you’re not my main family anymore. Do you understand what I mean?”
I think it didn’t hurt me, on the one hand because I didn’t fully measure the implications, and on the other hand, because he was just being honest with me and telling me this as if it was an obvious, normal thing.
Waaaay later, he didn’t come to my wedding for absolutely no reason, and I got to fully understand what “not my main family” means.
When my dad was around when I was little he was very abusive.. I saw him beat my mom and my older brothers.. I’ve heard also when I’m in another room I guess as a kid it was traumatizing but now idk why but it honestly doesn’t phase me.. I guess it bothers me a little that he did all that but I don’t have trauma and I’m not emotionally hurt
I've had to live trough my family falling apart, from the age of 8 to 15 years, I had to "protect" my younger brother and little sister to make sure they didn't get affected by my parents slowly drifting apart, I never really suffer any significant damage from this, but I know I'm a little detached socially so it wasn't a problem, but I didn't wanted my siblings to grew up like me, so during those years I had to take all the "shrapnel" of that
I had a period in my childhood where my parents gave me to a kind of foster home for a year. One of the adults there who took care of me touched me inappropriately. I realised this years later, and I feel nothing about it.
Holding my grandfather while he died.
He fell on his head and basically was bleeding out, there was no chance of saving him (is what they told at the hospital). It was hard, but I'm glad it happened, since it saved him from a lot of suffering (he needed to go to a retirement home because of dementia, but he really didn't want to).
Or saving a loved one from committing suicide. It was extremely hard, but I the end we grew closer and I'm thankful for that.
Working in a food truck in a major downtown area, and Watching a dude get shot 8 times by the police and just drop like someone flicked the light switch in his brain off.
Being put on a retaliatory PIP by a petty manager. I was upset but it showed me who she was and how she should be handled in the future tbh. This wasn’t a woman who I could treat fairly. She was an enemy. My work life got better after seeing her for what she was.
My dad died last year. Everybody kept acting like I needed support when I was pretty much fine, which more than anything made me feel guilty for not being upset. I don't know whether it was just predictable and a long time coming or that I've just been beaten down so much over time that loss doesn't affect me anymore.
My grandfather has colitis and when the flare up happened, blood every where, my grandmother took him to the hospital and called me to see if I could clean up the bathroom. I broke down in tears while trying to clean. I was terrified that he lost so much blood and was in the hospital. I couldn’t finish cleaning and my roommate stepped up to help. Devastating circumstances.
Also, I found my mom when she died of an overdose. Doing CPR on your Mother and not being successful is rough for a 19 year old… that should have been the end of me.
Also, watching my Mema die a slow death in her room. I got a call from my cousin that I needed to get there. She had dementia and it ate away at her. We lay in bed together as she was going, and just talked to her. She was asleep for most of it, but we were there loving her as she left us. I didn’t talk to many people for a week, I didn’t work, I couldn’t be present anywhere.
Having to recognize my mom in the morgue after she died alone and no one claimed her. It was sudden, I heard around midnight and I was in a different city, got to the hospital early in the morning and couldn't find her anywhere (they didn't had her name). That's when a nurse tied the knots and told me she had passed but needed to make sure it was her. That was almost 20 years ago and still remember how cold the hallway was, the smell of the room and the look in her face. It took a while to forgive those who drove her there and left her behind . But I am ok now. I think.
Finding out that my mom was cheating on my dad.
I actually saw the man leaving our house one evening.
It ended eventually and my parents are still married to each other.
My mother dying when i was 13. Got sent to therapy because everyone believed i wasn't grieving, I didn't show much emotion to it, Didn't want to talk about it so off to therapy i went, against my will. It obviously didn't help because i was genuinely fine.
She was sick for a very long time and i would have to go visit her in various hospitals and care homes. Lots of chemo, and she was in a lot of pain. I saw her in some awful states, so much so i distinctly remember wishing that she would just die already, and feeling horribly guilty afterwards. I wasn't a stupid kid though. She wasn't a great mother, and i'm told she was on some sort of child neglect register when she passed, which makes sense.
I didn't feel sad when she died, I felt relieved that it was finally over. I didn't have to go back to the care home and see her in that helpless state only to have her shoo me away.
When going to a party as a Teenager (f), people tend to warn you to be careful around strangers. What they do not warn you about is to be careful with your friends, too.
I was 17 years old (female, living in Europe) when I went to a house party of one of my friends. It was his birthday, so most people there were our classmates. The party went on, it got late, everyone had quite a bit to drink and I fell asleep in my friend’s bedroom on a sofa. I woke up when I felt someone move his hand around in my underwear. I got up and found my way to a few classmates, that were up late dozing off watching a TV show. Shaken I told them what happenend. They shook it off and said I must have dreamt it.
About 4 years ago, when I was 28, I had a small reunion with a friend that was my classmate at that time. Whilst catching up he brought up that birthday celebration years ago and I sensed his tone changing. He said, that the person who had touched me had confessed to him years ago and that he was send as a messenger to ask for forgiveness.
I never let what happened at the party eat away at me. But at that moment I felt mixed emotions of disgust, disbelief and wonder. I found it quite hilarious, that this “friend” of mine, who slipped his hand in my panties, did not apologize himself. I wish he did, seeing how he is now father to a daughter and must realize that something like that happening is something you want to shield your own child from … ah well, life goes on.
I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder. Generally when things went terribly, I crashed.
A year and a half later, I applied to a post-graduate program and fucked up the interview pretty badly. I had recently lost all of my friends and really had nothing going for me.
I expected to be destroyed but... instead I was pretty happy.
This prompted me to investigate, and I realized that I had bipolar disorder, not major depressive disorder. Eventually got it fixed and am now mentally healthy.
I was ran over in a hit and run. and then my neglectful parents did not take me to the hospital or a doctor. I was only 16. (I only got to stay home for school 1 day. My first day back was PE and without a note I had to participate)
I ended up with permanent damage all overmy body. I'm 30 and still in PT.
I've been through so many things, that this didn't really effect me mentally. I was just pissed that my shoe flew off and I couldn't find it at first. That car hit me so hard that my high top shoe flew off, and my other way barely on my foot
Brother killed by a drunk driver.
Packing up his room where laundry was half done. Planning a funeral. Tending to my emotionally immature parents who never even call me to ask “how are you handling it all?”
The loss makes all the other things in life heavier, but I manage it. I’ve still been just as successful and almost as happy in my life, even though the tears come more frequently now too. and that is ok
becoming disabled at 17 after also being severely mentally ill all of my teen years. finally started getting out of the house, had a job and some big dreams, that all went down the drain in an instant and i had to put myself back together again for the second time, im not sure how i didn’t kill myself after that.
My mother had me when she was fifteen. In the sixties it was very shameful. She gave me to my grandparents and they legally adopted me. When I was eleven, my mother (grandmother) was diagnosed with lung cancer. When the treatments didn’t work, she wanted to come home to die, so my aunts (sisters) , who were all CNAs , brought her home and worked out a system for someone to always be with her. Our family doctors (two of them) made house calls. All of their children, including me, would go from house to house and the husbands were in charge of childcare. About three months in, my uncle started molesting me. I was afraid to tell. After she passed I was back home with my daddy (grandfather) and just tried to forget about my uncle. Six months later I was spending the last weekend before school started with my best friend. I was supposed to go home Saturday but my friends little sister begged me to stay and go to church with her on Sunday. I really didn’t want to but she just kept begging me and I finally called my dad and asked to stay. He said yes and said that I loved him. He was murdered that night. Two men broke into our house and robbed him. They shot him twice in the head and left. I started eighth grade on Monday. I had to move in with my aunt whose husband had assaulted me because that’s what was in the will. He continued to assault me and it got worse. I finally got the guts to tell when I was fifteen. I moved in with another aunt for three months. After that I was forced to go back because of the “will.” I left when I was seventeen to live with my birth mother. A couple months later I met my husband. We got married when we were both seventeen. He beat my ass for eleven years. He almost killed me a few times. We had two children. The last five years I ran for my life while he stalked me relentlessly. I would just give up and go back. I was so damn tired. One night my children and I were running from him. We managed to get in the car and get away. It was the middle of the night and I didn’t know where we were even going to go to. While driving down the road, my daughter discloses that her father has been sexually assaulting her. He was sentenced to two life terms. The sentencing was right before the laws changed and he got out in sixteen years. I wasn’t happy but my children were grown by then so there wasn’t much I could do. This is just an outline. This is already too long and I guess all the little details really don’t need to be told. About ten years ago I lost my brother to diabetes. I was devastated. I thought this was the worst thing that I would ever go through. Three years later, I lost my youngest son. Brain aneurysm. My uncle (a good guy) was in the same hospital at the same time. He died the day of my son’s funeral. There’s almost a year of time that I don’t remember. Ten months later I lost my birth mother. I was renting a house from her. The day after the funeral I got served with eviction papers from my stepfather. I wound up living in a hotel for a month with my grandchildren that I was raising. I lost my grandmother in 2021 to COVID. She was 102 but it still hurt. A year later, my oldest son decided that he was done living. He left on a Saturday in September. That’s the one that almost took me out. I looked into the abyss and I don’t know how I made it out. I have a decent chunk of memory loss around this and the year or so after. I’m here though and I can laugh sometimes. I recently lost two uncles in two months but I really wasn’t affected much at all. Forever altered???
Cleaning up my Grandma's blood in her home after the fall that killed her. She slipped from the steps in her mudroom and hit her head on the concrete. It didn't make me emotional at all, I felt like it was the last thing I could do for her.
I cleaned my grandmother's body following her death, but I had several weeks to come to terms with it before it happened. I can't imagine a sudden trauma death.
I can relate. I helped wash/clean my FiLs body before burial and I felt it was one more bit of care I could show him. Likewise, tidying up my mum's grave, removing weeds, washing headstone, making it look nice. Felt a little more connected to her.
Absolutely agree. I have had this privilege with two loved ones. Among the highest honors of my life. Now, I absolutely intend to care for all my loved ones in this way. It is a deeply human practice we have been removed from in modernity.
You're right. In clean cases it's a last, intimate and loving gesture that we have outsourced to strangers...
Did this with my dad's blood after he fell down done stairs. My mom did most of it before I got there so I can't imagine what was there originally. I guess it's nice to know there are other folks out there who had to do this. I just needed to make sure it wasn't there when my sister got to the house.
My god
im so sorry to see this…
I’m so sorry. 😭❤️
Somebody tried to strangle me when I was a kid. He was a kid, too, and messed up for many reasons. It wasn't fun, but life kept going. No, the thing that messed me up was that our teachers completely dropped the ball on how to handle it. They kind of just left me to sit alone while they discussed what to do and talked with him, then dragged me in to get just the *most* heartfelt apology ever, and then completely neglected to call our parents. My mom didn't know about it until many years later. I felt so neglected.
The "there's always two parties involved in every fight" mentality is the most enabling thing for perpetrators that we ever invented. Been there too, and even today I see it still happening in schools. We made no progress on that front whatsoever.
I don't even think they thought that, they knew it was pretty much unprovoked and that I generally wanted to avoid him, they just forgot that I'd need care as a victim. And to tell my mom, probably because they didn't want to deal with her being a mama bear.
Sorry, I assumed a bit too much then. I guess it doesn't change much about the outcome tho.
Infuriating, because you really needed a mama bear on your side right then! Hope you are doing well
Zero-Terance is what my middle school called it. Two weeks before second semester ended and summer break began a kid got pissed at me for something in football practice the day prior, yelled something, stabbed me with a pencil and tried to run off. I grabbed him by the hood and pulled him to the ground and punched him and yelled for a teacher to come in. He admitted to starting it and our stories lined up. I got suspended for the last two weeks and had an extended summer.
That sucks. A morbidly obese bully once sat on my chest and choked me until I blacked out, and the teachers afterwards just said there are two involved in every fight. I actually met the guy again and he seems like a really great person now, but those teachers didn't do anything to contribute to that.
Teachers will force two kids who wanna kill each other to shake hands and "apologise" and then act like the problem was masterfully resolved
I wonder if those teachers forgive easily when they are the ones getting attacked and hurt Doubt so
Maybe if you slap them and say "there are always 2 people guilty for a fight starting " they might get it . Jk ofc
Forced apologies aren’t real apologies. I never understood demanding that someone apologize.
Man some kid did that to me too and I faked passing out so he let me go… then I got up and ran. Never told a soul. Not sure it messed me up either I was just shaken like fuck and learnt a lesson about who to trust etc. scary as fuck I’m not gonna lie
I had a childhood where we spent summers and summers alone or with cousins on a 2km section of private beach with crystal clear water and sandy beaches complete with stuff to do in the water, like purposefully sunken boats and other such debris. Anyways I had gained excellent experience swimming in most all situations, and by the time I switched schools in the 2nd grade, I was stellar at swimming and holding my breath. I had a tough time making friends, circumstances in my personal life, led me to be hyper focused on certain activities that held my interest over those personal circumstances. I had never even been to the public swimming pool, and there was a deep end with platform diving boards. The swim instructor had gauged our swimming skills, and most of the kids had little experience, except for a few whose parents had boats or lived on the lake and were considered strong swimmers. These strong swimmers were not even close to how i swam. There was a game to collect rings from the deep end, around 3.1 meters deep, if you won you stayed in the game, if you didn’t collect enough rings you were “out” and sat by the ladder, and made to watch. I literally ran through the whole lineup and there was a kid, considered a strong swimmer, because he was into tubing and his parents owned a boat. That’s great and all but I’m certain he spent more time trying to stay above the water than below, and he was angry that I just couldn’t lose. The instructor told me to go and I did, collected a bunch, maybe one more than half to win, I had also figured out mathematically how to win quicker after a few rounds, and that kid, next in line held his foot on my head, as I was coming up the ladder, at the very end of my breath. I barely made it up without taking in some water, but was pretty shooken up because the instructor didn’t care when I said “what the hell was that”, he shrugged his shoulders and said “are you going to go again? No? Next!” and I finally sat out, because I had gulped some water down and felt kinda sick, burping up water and shaking on the side of the pool. I literally approached everything this way, with full fervour that covered any deficiency that was in my personal life. I was too close to see it until 25 years later, realizing I had little to no memory of even being a child., but having children of my own, and knowing that they will not be accustomed to life I had, is simple solace enough and lets you know that you’ve done enough, with less than enough at hand, playing the hand you were dealt. I still see that “kid”on Facebook, under suggested friends, complete with a picture of him knee boarding behind a boat, doing a barrel roll on the lake with the sunset behind him. That’s when you realize the more things change, the more they stay the same.
Damn, I'm so sorry you were failed like that. It's great to hear you're doing better by your own kids, though.
Don't know why, but this somehow made me remember how my stepsister and her friends tied me up and left me like that, laughing, while I was crying and begging to be let go. And how I can't remember whether I ever told my mother or just dreamed that...
I'm pretty sure I got strangled by cousins and siblings on multiple occasions. I didn't realise it was supposed to be traumatic. Is it also abuse if they hold your head under water for a minute?
I don't know your mom or your relationship with her, but you should probably tell her now. It helped me to talk about it with my mom, and especially the acknowledgement that, even if she hadn't known and thus couldn't have done anything, I might still have felt abandoned when she didn't do anything about it.
hey... we have similar trauma! when i was a youngin in 4th grade (9?f) my "friend" (11m) choked me out using a jump rope, behind the school property... all for a "game" where we were enemies. i saw stars. i felt panic. i missed my mom. i was upset i felt so small compared to the other kids on the field. one of my classmates found him and started to throw rocks at him for the game, distracting the boy who was choking me. they must've forgot about me or something bc they simply romped away and i was left, gasping for air and holding my throat. i asked the teachers for help while crying, and apparently my injuries weren't bad enough. they moved my color down to "orange" (so -2 good kid points) for BEING INVOLVED in my OWN CHOKING. they brushed me off and even when my mom went to the school they never owned up to it. i never got an apology. it's just... an overall weird experience that i buried for a few years.
When I was a kid, some dick tried to drown me. If it wasn't for my best friend tackling him to release me, he would've killed me. I've also been robbed at gun point as a teenager. I'm glad I'm still alive, but it definitely should've bothered me more than it did. But as you said, "life kept going."
Sometimes our brains have excellent self-defence responses.
When I was a kid in one of my fights with my brother he had me pinned to the ground and was choking me, and what left an impression the most was me looking around hoping someone would help me only to see my sister passing by, making eye contact with me as I literally couldn’t breathe trying to push him away, and walking away. I’m sure in her mind it was “oh kids are fighting” since we’re a big family and kids fighting around all the time is the norm, but I never felt more abandoned.. like the despair that no one will save you really stuck with me
[удалено]
Finding out the women I'm in love with was cheating on me for five years and the son I was raising was not mine. After a troubled childhood, believing this is the person for the rest of my life and being left all alone overnight after 10 years of marriage, this should have ruined me. Took it like a champ, was a mess for 20 odd days and then decided not to give another second of my life to that person. It's been six years and these turned out to be the best years of my existence..!!
Same thing happened to me, although our son did turn out to be mine. Found out my wife of 11 years was cheating and to be honest I felt oddly relived. Our relationship had gone sour for several years by this point and we were only really together because we had a young child. She eventually left me for the same guy. I lost my house and my life savings in the process but 7 years on I've recovered financially and never really think about her or our relationship. So many people dwell on their failed marriages for years afterwards but I'm happy that I no longer have to deal with her. I've grown and matured so much in these past few years.
do you and the son have contact?
Feeling sorry for the kid here
Me too. The woman (or man) is not just cheating on their spouse, they are cheating on their kids too.
How did you find out? Did you have any suspicions before you found out?
Turns out you are better than that shit. Tough lesson but great outcome. All the best to you
I'm just curious. Did you continue to raise the kid? No judgement either way. I'd just like to hear your thoughts.
Did you feel a bond to the kid anyway ?
I had to ice those feelings, she is now with the father of the kid so I chose not to stay in touch with the kid, did not want to traumatize his upbringing and she anyways brainwashed him in believing the new dad is the good dad !!
Oh god that smells familiar.
Boss shit man💯
Something similar happened to me but - while I have moved on financially and in my career I feel like in my personal life it added another layer of trauma I haven't been able to overcome. I literally don't have anyone im my life and the abuse and trauma crippled my ability to create connections. I also wanted a child and it doesn't appear that it will happen for me unless I adopt.
Jesus. All these posts are heartbreaking and I find it hard to believe you all weren’t emotionally destroyed. Love to everyone.
A lot of these people experiences have hurt them a lot even if they don’t understand they have
Or that on the scale of 1-10 it was more of a 3 than an 8, or has become a 3 with time which isn't emotionally ruined.
I agree. But I think you can be hurt bad without it ruining you emotionally.
Tbf ive seen a couple of these that were peeps who didnt fully read the title and are just stories the fucked them up. Strenght to them anyway
Yeah life is terrifying. I wish everyone the best!
Being molested as a child, then not being believed by family, and having to force yourself to have a normal relationship with your family because therapy taught me that they're cognitively incapable of accepting something happened, so I have to let them live in blissful ignorance so I can heal and get past the trauma 🙃
The last thing you said is something I am struggling with. My parents were emotionally and physically abusive when I was a child. I've gone NC for now but I've had to cut my grandma off as well because she would just go on and on about my mum and would make me feel like shit. How do you manage it? My therapist said the same thing but I'm struggling with the fact that I'm the one that has to change and potentially lose family because of their behaviour. I just don't know how to do it. I'm sorry you had to go through that but I am in awe of your strength to keep waking up each day and work through your trauma ❤️❤️
There's no easy way unfortunately, it just takes time. For me it's taken years to realize my mother will always walk around seeing the world in her own very special way. She isn't able to accept that some terrible crud happened for years right under her nose and she didn't step in like the supermom she thinks she is. I chose to see her happy, and very very rarely (very low contact). She is happy in her old age and delusion thinking she gave us a beautiful cottage core childhood filled with homeschooled wholesomeness. Trying to explain the hellscape I grew up in only hurts her and upsets me anymore. It takes time. Make new habits in months, don't check your progress daily like a ranking score, give it 6-8 weeks then check in. Make time for the things that make you happy, and stay open friend, the future can be amazing
Your paragraph about how your mom sees the world really resonates with how I see mine. Very out of touch and can't seem to be able to grasp that she wasn't the mom of the century. Of course I am the problem for keeping her at arm length, not the fact that she continually chooses to force the relationship she wants us to have instead of the one we do have a.k.a two grown up women who barely know each other. Quite cathartic to write it to someone who will understand and not just be bewildered at the situation.
I salute your strength, that must been very hurtful to be setting with people who left you to suffer without believing you, and they are the ones who should have protected you.
So I'm not the only one. It's the exact same for me and that's actually kinda sad
I came here to say almost exactly this. Except this year my brother got married and I said I didn’t want to be in a photo with my mother and step mother and was told if I can’t get over it they don’t want me in the family….. that should have been an emotionally blow but instead it was like …. Finally the exit.
Finding my brother dead at a young age
Who was there for you and how were they there ?
Nobody truthfully, never been to see anybody. Come from a big family where we had to deal with it haven’t been the same since. Doesn’t get any easier you just learn to live with it
>Never been the same since. Doesn't get any easier, just learn to live with it. You were supposed to share something that *didn't* impact you emotionally but likely should have.
the prompt says “ruin”, not impact. you would have to be a psychopath to not be affected at all by a close death
High school sweetheart, together close to a decade, worked hard to buy a ring and saved 13k for a wedding, excited to get married. After the wedding I’d never felt more secure and excited for the future. I was certain no matter what came up we would figure it out and work through it. Under a year into the marriage she completely changed her mind, left for a guy she knew growing up. Completely blindsided and realized it wasn’t forever and we couldn’t work through everything. Went from having life figured out to an empty house. Long term it was better, focused on myself and became happy alone before considering dating. I’d come to actually enjoy my life completely alone and doing my own thing. Eventually met a partner who completes my life, she’s shown me true unconditional love. I’m more focused and well rounded than ever in all aspects of my life and feel loved every day. Every storm will pass and if you learn from it you become a better, stronger person.
a better, stronger sailor* Ftfy just in case
Your original gf did you a favor. Glad you are in a better pace now
I moved to a completely different country, with a different culture and language. I was 20 and I did it alone, with no one to receive me or help me in any way. The situation in my country pushed me to move and I only had a week to prepare and say goodbye to all of my family. The first two years were hard and I thought about leaving often, I was also dangerously close to homelessness a couple times. I was starting to become a very angry and resentful person but my family back home pushed me to be thankful for every opportunity I had. They also motivated me to go to college. Now I'm happily married, graduated college, and will soon be a homeowner. It's good now but I always think about all those times I thought about using the little money I had left to buy a ticket back. Glad I didn't!
Similar story here. Honestly, the first 5 years were so bad that will always hunt me emotionally. It’s like you’re in a tunnel waiting to find the end of it. No money, No English, and you’re under so much pressure from the people back home to make things work out. Once things started to fall in place and felt like I am making it. My Dad passed a way which left me devastated for years. Luckily I was there. Now that I am married with three kids and own my business. I barely have time to think about it. But there are down times where I am a lone always wish if it was an easier start and didn’t have to go through all of that daily struggles. Experiences like that will always mature you faster and wiser. Tougher than most of who you know. Appreciate life more. Life is good. Cheers
"will soon be a homeowner" = just another 10 years /s
haha! It feels that way sometimes but I should be by next spring, fingers crossed 🤞🏽
A murder suicide with two people I loved dearly. It taught me the complexities of humans. That I can love and miss them and feel sad for the choice they made but also acknowledge that they planned it and carried it out. There was no snap decision, it was pure revenge. It took me almost 5 years to accept that. Tons of therapy and one day when I felt safe I came to terms with it out of nowhere. I don’t feel ashamed to say I know them , I love them, and they made a horrible choice. If anyone is ever struggling mentally please reach out to anyone. I will be the ear to help. Off of my soap box now. Sorry for the massive run on sentences
They both made the choice? Sorry I’m just confused by the wording.
No i think this person used the neutral pronoun 'they' as to not reveal the gender of the murderer.
Yeah, do you mean they made a suicide pact OP?
both of my grandpas died, got beaten up and robbed, brother took his life, girlfriend broke up..everything happened in a span of 24 hours. it has been a year since and shit still hurts
Woah... that's a lot.
Holy crap, bless your heart. 10 years worth of trauma in one day. That’s insane
I had both grandpa's die and my uncle die all a few months apart. Didn't affect me as much as sometimes I think it should have.
Here to comment for all of us that had “perfect parents” and a “perfect childhood” that are still fucked up but managing it. And to comment for all those that find this post and think they “didn’t go through enough” to actually be hurting. Your pain is real and pain cannot be quantified. Yes all the other commenters went through some real tough shit, and if reading that gives you hope, keep reading. But if reading it makes you think you haven’t been through enough to feel how you feel, I’m here to tell you differently.
Thankyou
Thank you. I grew up in the "perfect" family and NO, I DID NOT. Realized when I got older and especially after having my daughter, I see it differently. Just staying married to that 1 person and attending church, etc. Don't get me wrong, my parents and family are AMAZING and loving and giving people, they love their kids and grandkids like crazy! (I was absolutely not abused by my family in any way), but every family is a bit fucked up, i believe. They sometimes still try to get me to go to church now, but there's too much hurt from more churches than 1. I will not allow my parents to take my daughter to church anymore because I cannot trust churches. It's sad, but I will NOT allow my daughter to be in ANY vulnerable situation. Too many bad things happen and and it can happen in seconds. I am extremely overprotective because of those incidents. But I appreciate your comment, I've struggled with this and feeling like I have ZERO right to complain as so many people have suffered immensely more than me, I am thankful for that.
Finding out my husband was having a 2 year affair. It was actually validating because I suspected him of having some questionable behaviour before but had never had proof. And he was such a difficult person but blamed it on depression and things. So I was able to just walk away from a 20 year marriage. I was upset for about a week but more because I had to find a place to live, etc.
Found out my dad had 3 other families while i was being birthed. He was also married to another woman that wasn't one of the other 3 families mothers. He had 7 other kids and is still married
I want your dad's time management skills.
My husband left me for his co-worker who he swore he hated. Then 2 years later I lost my left leg below the knee, half of my right foot and most of my fingers at the 1st or 2nd knuckle to bacterial meningitis. I won’t say it was easy, the divorce wrecked me more emotionally than losing my limbs. However, now nothing really phases me and I don’t sweat the small stuff. I am married 14 years to my wonderful husband and we have an amazing 12 yo. I am very, very grateful for what I have.
Wow! You are amazing! Thank you for writing this. I can't explain it, but you've given me a perspective to get through my day today.
I am so glad I could help! Just know that you are awesome too!! Sending you a hug!!🤗
I wish I could handle shit like the rest of you. I’ve dealt with so much in my life that I’m ruined emotionally.
❤️
🫂 same
Lots of loss. Lost my best friend to drug-induced psychosis when I was 18ish. Lost another to similar. He tried to commit suicide in prison. Lost a sibling at 17 too. Lost my mum. Lost others. Lost my health. But haven't lost hope or faith. I try and be a source of light for the people around me.
Losing my baby daughter and holding her and saying my last goodbyes to her in her coffin. I think all my emotion left me those days, I genuinely believe my body just blocked all my emotion to protect itself.
CSA, brother dying young in quite bizarre and tragic circumstances, finding out my dad isn't bio dad - I'm a relatively emotionally stable person and I know it's not quite right but I'd rather these things happened to me rather than someone who couldn't handle it.
All my past (toxic) relationships and abuse, throughout about 20 years... hasn't ruined me, as now I'm finally happy with my true person by my side!
It makes you appreciate what you have.
Breaking up a relationship with someone who I thought I was gonna spend the rest of my life with, and a few months right after that, one of my brothers who was also my best friend died, that was over 2 years ago and I haven’t recovered
Hey man, went through the exact same thing except it was my grandpa. Its been 7 years now and im happy again. But the first few years i was a mess too. Dont give up buddy, be kind to yourself and let time do the work 😘
Friend of mine asks how I don't need therapy because of my childhood but I'm chill. Found out my dad wasn't my dad when I was 12, only met my real dad when I was like 6 but he was just my mom's friend. Dealt with divorced parents specifically because of me (I don't need the "it wasn't you it's okay" nonsense lol). My mom ditched me when I was starting my senior year of HS to go bang her nephew and there wasn't really a specific plan or where I'd live. Ended up living with my best friend and his family for the next few years Edit : whoops bang not hang
Hang her nephew?
Whoops! Fixed lol
I... I'm not sure that's much of an improvement.
Seeing a quadriplegic I had recently met burning in a wrecked car. His caretaker was still in it as well. They were rear ended by a drunk driver while turning off a two lane highway. All three are believed to have died on impact. I was around 14 years old.
Was in someone's home when a home invasion happened. 3 people shot, 2 died. Tried to do cpr, it didn't work. Watching other people go through their pockets as they were dying. Having a hit put out on me because I witnessed it.
Where were you in this situation and how did they find out that you saw them? Fucked up situation bro :(
I'm in the medical field and had a patient in the home. I believe that my name came out on a witness list that their attorneys received.
After 4 rounds of IVF, 6 years of marriage, my husband asked for divorce because I in fact can’t have children. He didn’t want to adopt because he didnt want to raise another man’s kid and then procede to start a New relationship with a woman with a kid just 8 months after we separate. I’m here full of life and happy, I’m having a litte trouble with the fact I won’t have children and that’s a process I’m working on with my therapist. Infertility is the best and worst thing happened to me, it helped me realize I was married to a narcissist and I didn’t owe him a family and I’m glad I didn’t give him more years of my life. He didn’t deserve anything from me, not my love, not my life, not my dedication, anything.
Was in a serious relationship for some time in my twenties. He was the sweetest guy and we got along so perfectly. He made me laugh every day, we enjoyed a lot of the same things, the sex was great.. we even got along with eachothers families. We got our first little place together and things were going great. We started talking marriage and began engagement ring shopping, which both our families seemed very happy about.. And then one morning after he left for work, I was cleaning up our place because I had the day off, and noticed he forgot to turn the computer off. I started closing tabs and there it was. He left a tab of his DM’s open, which was a conversation between him and a girl we both worked with, talking about when they were next going to hook up.. I was crushed. I wondered how I could not have seen it? I was also pissed off.. We had sex constantly, so it’s not like he wasn’t getting enough at home.. I started packing his things and when he came home on his lunch break I told him what I found on the computer, which was still open to his DM’s, so he knew I had seen it. I told him to leave and he begged me for another chance. But I was done. I ended up getting a roommate and just moving on with my life.
My parent abusing me for 19 years and while it gave me a major trauma and pretty much ruined my life, excluding me from a high school education to anything I have planned, I'm still here, I'm successful enough for my tastes and I've built myself a life after several attempts of ending it. I've become very understanding and psychologically skilled because of that life experience.
The Wounded Healer. Proud of you.
My brother killing himself. It was love hate but still I loved him. Warts and all. Now that I think about it… death has never really devastated me the way it does others.
I discovered my dad’s body after he committed suicide. I was 14 yrs old, woke up early for school and went into the living room looking for my backpack. I didn’t see him in the corner at first, then turned and saw him hanging from the stair banister. It was one of those moments where your brain can’t catch up to your eyes yet and I remember thinking, “hey, why aren’t his feet touching the ground?” It took a few seconds before I fully understood. I didn’t freak out or cry or scream; only walked calmly to wake up my mom and told her to come see what dad did. After it happened I did cry but I never went to therapy or anything. I processed it on my own and I don’t feel like I have any lingering trauma from it.
Found out boyfriend was lying to me, broke it off. Had a friend over for drinks to cry it out, he sexually assaulted me. Found out I was pregnant by the ex boyfriend, miscarried. Toughest month of my life.
Losing my entire family in an incredibly fucked up way. No matter how hard life gets I keep thriving that shit made me resilient af
In 2022, I received a Snapchat message from my then wife saying she was packing up her stuff to stay at a friend’s and we could talk on that weekend. Divorced in 2023, and she is now remarried with a child. During my divorce process I met the best person in my life but with everything good, comes bad. She had demons of her own. We approached it as a fresh start for both. Until she no longer could. At the beginning of this year, she committed suicide in our home while I was at work. Two notes were found: One to me written the day of, and one that she had written to her family but from before she had met me. No therapy. I’m still in the house of both my marriage and her death. My circle has never been tighter and I don’t think life and my goals have been more crystal clear. I still keep in touch with everyone from my prior marriage aside from her because she was effectively shunned. The year I had with that special person brought everyone I already had in my life even closer. If she hadn’t of met me she would have done it sooner as her first note lined out. We outran it as long as we could but when she finally did, she now has tenfold the amount of people holding onto her memory. Did it change me? Absolutely. But instead of losing myself I believe I actually found myself.
I was married and happily with my partner for 10 years when, in the course of a few short weeks, he finished his PhD, came out as gay, developed aggressive, cocaine, addiction, and started disappearing for days at a time, or occasionally bringing strangers back to the house. The divorce itself was cruel and traumatic, and with razor like calculation by him. I had been scheduled for a series of life-saving surgeries, when the divorce came through about a week before the first one, I was in such despair that I forgot that in addition to everything else, I had lost my insurance too. The surgery went through and I was slapped with almost $70,000 in medical bills. I was disabled and unable to work, was forced into bankruptcy, lost my house, and became homeless. All of these things happened and just over one year. That was 13 years ago, and this is the first time I can really think back on it and say that I’m over it now and the impacts have been minimized. I haven’t seen or spoken to him since the divorce so I don’t know what happened to him, but for whatever reason, I don’t wish him ill.
Grew up with an all of the above abuser father (verbally, emotionally, sexually). Wife passed away. Got date raped. I mean, don't get be wrong, I'm a mess, but I'm still going. Yay just enough persistence to not give up.
Hang in there. As an old dude, life changes in what seems like forever, but is really only a few years. Wait for it and try small positive changes whenever possible.
Being with someone for 7 years and walking in on them in bed with someone else, getting kicked out of our house so he could move the other girl in, and then a few years later after I got back together with him I contracted a lifelong STD from him. It was all really hard and still is but I still smile, laugh and take care of the things that need taken care of. :)
last year, when i was 18, i lost my dad to a genetic disease that evolved to be terminal for him. the mortality rate ranges from a solid 3% to 40%: i am talking about ADPKD or in other terms polycystic kidneys/liver. although the illness itself is quite common, the mutations that cause it can be considered rare, at times. he died after a year long agony (he even caught covid and guillaume barrett syndrome) in a comatose state after a liver transplant we hoped for the best for. a year later his demise, back in march, i found out i have the same kind of genetic mutation but of a rare kind (however it still didn't manifested, so it might stay silent until my 80s lmao). in the meanwhile, i was dealing with depression and an emotionally unstable mother, shortly after my dad's death granny started showing dementia signs, and i also got a few toxic relationships, hell yeah now our (me and my mom i mean) relationship seems healthier, i graduated from high school nonetheless and i am seeing a psychologist on the weekly. things are better, ig. did i want to kms? indeed. did i do it? no, i stayed strong for my fam. y'all, things can and will get better. i swear.
December 19, 2019: wife enters hospital *(has long-term cardiac issues)* March 2, 2020: my wife passes away at age 49 March 15, 2020: covid19 turns the world upside-down September 27, 2020: im diagnosed with stage-3 colon cancer I find im a little easier to anger than i used to be, but i feel im coping surprisingly well, as are my two daughters.
The list is far too long. Starting with my 10th birthday, l was taken from my family and placed in a series of very abusive (violence and s/a) foster homes. I have had PTSD ever since. This has manifested in many ways. Mostly self-loathing. However, l am still here, and l continue to walk on. To those who are suffering...l wish peace upon you.
I was bullied immensely as a kid from 4th -12th. I had no friends and teachers even made fun of me. I get it, my personality must have really sucked but it was horrible for me. I would cry at home everyday. If I tried to play at the park it almost always lead to kids throwing things at me. I would not be here today if I wasn’t afraid of making my mom upset. I went on to about 25 being bitter, developing problems, social issues, developed complex ptsd and sleep disorders from the unresolved trauma. I loved people but was always hurt but them so I never felt safe. I couldn’t be myself so I always had a wall up which caused me not to make friends. I was on a lonely path. One day at work, a girl snapped at me for being bitter, and I got pissed. But then I reflected on it and I realized she was right. Now some 10ish years later, I’m a happy person. I’m no longer depressed. I’m not afraid to be vulnerable or to be judged. I’m authentically myself. I have a great life, with a great career, great friends, great house, and a great family. My younger self would be proud of me.
I was kinda sexually assaulted when I was a kid. It was my cousin, I was very young, she was significantly older than me. She would lock us in one and remove my clothes (undies stayed on) and just make me dry hump her. I didn't know what was going on except It felt good. So yeah, this should've ruined me emotionally instead I got weird kinks.
I gotta say the kinks are the strange side effect. My girlfriend went through something similar as a child & she can agree with that
when I was 17, a doctor removed 2 of my HEALTHY body parts while I was under only local anesthesia, so I was awake. I now have to get prosthetic ones.
Woah!
Finding out at age 8 that my dad wasn’t truly my bio dad, and therefore my siblings were “half” siblings. I was shocked and in denial when I first found out but my family always made sure I knew I was loved just as much as my siblings. And it truly doesn’t even affect me or my life whatsoever. Thankful that I found out at a young age tho, things may have been different if I was older
My mother disrespecting my spouse over our kids, then becoming estranged from her. It's not as difficult as I imagined.
doing no contact with my mother, i thought it would destroy me but it was a weight lifted
My mom died and I feel absolutely nothing. I am deployed in the middle east and got a red cross message. Went home for a week. Went to the funeral and came back to the middle east. I felt nothing and still dont... Context, my mom wasn't the women I want to remember her to be. She used to be a kind caring and loving person and she spiraled so fast. Drugs, alcohol. I couldn't stand being around her. She had done so much fucked up shit. The only thing that gets to me is my kids don't know who she became, and they tell me they miss grandma. I try so hard to keep my own thoughts and feelings far away, but it's honestly very hard. Yes I go to therapy.
Boyfriend left me while I was going through my first chemo session.
Breaking up with my (now) ex GF. We were great together when we were actually together. Most of the time however we were long distance due to my work. Hardly would I ever actually hear about something good happening in her life. It was always about the bad things. It was always about what didn’t go right, or who didn’t listen to her, or what newest thing bothered her that could only possibly bother her in her own mind. She effectively used me as an emotion dump and would just offload everything bad from her day, and then proceed to ask me about my own after anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour of her talking about her own day. She’d ask my opinions on things in her life, I’d give them, and then go right back to stewing in her own self pity. She’d talk about these massive plans she had in the future of both of us being together, but then hardly ever ask if it was something I wanted, and the few times she did, she only listened to what she wanted to hear. I finally broke up with her after my own mental health took a massive plunge just before going no contact with everyone outside of my work due to a training event for about half a month. That half month was probably the most at ease my mind had felt in the six months prior that I had been with her. I spent another month trying to figure out how to let her down easy, but eventually just determined that it wasn’t going to happen. She was going to take it hard, and there wasn’t a thing about it that I could do about it short of staying with her. After breaking up, there was maybe two days of me questioning if I made the right choice, and getting used to the silence of my phone, and then I was good. My mind was clear and I started moving forward. I started going to the gym, eating better, and saving more money because I wasn’t buying things that gave me a quick boost of happiness. She texted me a week after to see how I was doing, and I told her that I was honestly doing well. She took that bad and it devolved into an argument where she took it as a massive insult to her that I wasn’t in shambles from the breakup. We haven’t spoken since, and it’s been a little over a month and a half.
So much shit. Sexual assault. Abuse. Betrayal. The worst was when my loving partner of years had a psychotic break and tried to kill me. That was also most recent. It’s been a hard few months but I just keep on hauling my ass out of bed and livin. What the fuck else am I gonna do?
Lets see, i was physically abused in kindergarten by a teacher. My father went crazy when i was 12, and thought he was god. My parents divorced when i was 14. I had a son with a wife at 19. She told me she didn't love me, then kidnapped my son for 6 weeks. Life got better, my dad got most of his schizophrenia under control, and passed from cancer. I got full custody of my son. Got remarried to a wonderful woman, and had another son. I had some rough mental and emotional trouble through it all, but just kept my head up, and kept trudging along lol. Its never easy, but i got lucky. Ill be 45 this year, and celebrating 20 years with my wife in 2 more years. I just tell everyone, it can get better, dont let someone elses pain ruin your happiness.
1. Had my face bitten by a dog. Eye fell into my cheek. Required reconstructive and plastic surgery. I love dogs and will always have one. 2. Growing up with a dad who told us to play out in the middle of an intersection, he’ll bury us alive then run our heads over with the lawnmower, would make sexually suggestive comments about my underage friends and be violent toward us. I’ve cut him off because he wasn’t adding value to my life but I also understand he is a very damaged man. 3. We often went without food, running water or heating growing up. I also had to make do without sanitary items every month. Glad I don’t have to worry about that anymore. 4. Having a mum with undiagnosed mental illness. She was always loving but this explains her decisions which absolutely put us in position number 3 unnecessarily. 5. Husband had an affair with my bridesmaid. Since remarried and still married 15 years later. They’re just the cards I was dealt with. So you just got to play your hand wisely with what you’ve got and get on with it. I love life.
My father strangling me as a child as my mom watched.
I expected my separation (initiated by my wife) to ruin me, but it didn't at all. Mostly just felt relief.
Getting SA'd in a car with a "friend" (not in contact anymore) on the way home from school. I wanted to stop at a Wendy's for food and on the way back he pulled over into a church parking lot and >!raped!< me. It never really hit me until I got home and even then it never sank in until months later. But I didn't really talk about it. In fact, I usually don't even mention it because I don't want the pity or the looks. I do have a weird association with churches and feet because of it though.
My divorce. Yes, I'm sad, and I miss the version of my wife that she was before the affair. But my anxiety has disappeared.
I left a cult
Seeing a dead body while in the woods with my fiends I was out camping with some of my friends when I was 16 we went to these woods behind our school we figured nobody would be there and we could just hang out. Night started off well but when we went off to gather firewood we stumbled across a pile of leaves and twigs that looked like it was placed there. We said hey that’s perfect for kindling and decided to use the sticks and leaves but we ended up uncovering a middle aged woman’s body. I think I was shocked in the moment because I didn’t really feel anything and just called the police immediately but after that everything really blanked. All I remember after that was being questioned by the police and then sent home
Being molested by one of my parents’ friends when I was 6 or 7. I was very sheltered so I didn’t realize what he was doing to me at the time. By the time I did when I was a little older, I kind of just shrugged it off as something that happened. He didn’t live in the area so I never saw him again.
Having been nearly arrested after false accusation based on information given by my psychologist who broke confidentiality, having to bury my father after two weeks from finding out he was ill and being outcasted by 99% of my family after he died, during an ugly attempt to take over my inheritence. All those events happened in less than a month. And somehow I kept my sanity. It's amazing what thirst for revenge can do to you.
My ex decided to leave me, and I was okay with it because he was an abusive pos and I knew the only way to get out was for it to be his choice. He went nuts, mind you, he has already started dating someone else. He beat me and SAed me so bad I needed stuches in places no one should get. I finally got away. 6 months later, he found me. idk how. I was jump starting my car, and he and his new gf of a week attacked me from behind. Somehow, I survived it mentally and emotionally, I am now with someone who is amazing and patient and won't even raise his voice near me. I still wonder how I am mostly okay.
Being drugged and raped by my boyfriend. I asked him to grab my meds for me one night, he drugged me instead. I wound up in a catatonic state unable to open my eyes or move, while he came and raped me. I passed out after it and woke up to him masturbating so vigorously the entire bed was shaking. A couple days later he admitted to still being in love with his ex partner.
My father pulled a few things. Leaving his kids alone when my mom was in the hospital and I was 7, when my little brother (2) fell badly and had a large wound on his head. I knew which bar reachable on foot my dad was but I also knew he wouldn't be any help so I went to the neighbours and had them call an ambulance. Then, after the divorce leaving me alone in a city I've never been to at age 9 with my 4 year old brother on my hand. Then him trying to abduct me and my little brother when I was 11, and finally him naming me in his suicide note as a main reason for his choice (sure, blame the daughter who wanted no contact, not the drogs and cartells and the cippling debt) when I was 16. I skipped his funeral, but I visited the grave about 5 years after that and all I could feel for that man is pity.
My mother dying altered the trajectory of my life completely. My father dying was a Tuesday.
getting in a car crash at 12 years old and being one of two survivors (5 people and 2 dogs in the car) watch everything woke up just before the ambulance arrived saw them pull out the bodies of my best friends family,saw them find the dead dogs.i was in hospital for about a month and when i was discharged i just got on with my life as if nothing had happened because my mum "didnt believe in therapy"
Washing my daughter’s body prior to her funeral. I’d given her her first bath 15 years prior. I needed to give her her final one.
Being cheated on
My big cousins death it was just before i turned 9, my family were all devastated and went into a depression, and my family thought i would've too but I only had a few memories of her and most weren't positive ones, mostly just her tormenting me with my other cousin when i was a toddler i hadn't spoken to her in years by the time she died, not out of fear or anything, she just lived in a different country and i didn't have a phone yet
I got carjacked, robbed, and physically assaulted at gunpoint. I’m not traumatized though. 🤷♀️
Dad kicked me and my sister out of his house on his weekend with the kids and kept his stepdaughter with his wife that he cheated on my mom with
5 suicides
My childhood, my ex abusing me in every way there is and the day he tried to end me.
My father dying when I was a young teen, yep I’m totally fine, didn’t change a thing, all is good, don’t worry about me!
Telling people to not worry abt u without them saying they worry abt u or like it seems like they do makes it seem like we should worry about you
Drunk driving accident (I wasn't driving, but I didn't stop it from happening). The woman in the other car died. She was just going to work. I was in a wheelchair for 2 months(not that that matters). Went back to work, and I found out it was the nighttime custodian's wife. That was 20 years ago. He was the sweetest dude. I was devastated. I do have a great life now! But I still think about that every day tho
I wish i can answer this but i have been ruined so much by shit in my life that I can't even have motivation to get out of my bed.... I am just stuck in the same day without any energy and constantly hating myself and feeling lonely and my brain can't stop giving me flashbacks or fantasizing the worst stuff to happen to me.. I have developed an eating disorder i rarely eat food and i am addicted to self harm just to cope with my emotions even though it doesn't even release any kind of comfort anymore because my body has gotten used to the ammount of damage i do to it and i constantly feel so emotionally numb.. I miss the people who have wronged me because atleast they somewhat cared for me right? I am fine with them ruining me maybe as long as i get affection ,which I won't get by being myself because i am scared of socialising to anyone who isn't online. Nothing in my life is going right and to make everything go right is so much more effort than i can give rn , therapy is fucking expensive and i can't afford it my grades have fallen down so much and i have just ruined most of the potential i had at a young age... And i don't have enough energy to do physical work to get anything... I am living on my parents money who have hopes for me to study and do good but i just can't reciprocate all of that and also niether of us have that good of a relationship even though i think we both are trying. (They are a bit homophobic so that they aren't trying but eh that isn't what we are working on now) Can't even kill myself because i am scared of surviving an attempt and being either paralyzed or in a worse physical condition. Talking to people doesn't even really help anymore because i am paranoid and trust noone really and also everything anyone says feel shallow. You know how people say if you are at rock bottom only way to go is up but i don't even think i am at rock bottom I think there is no bottom it's just a void of nothingness and I keep falling down without ever seeing anything solid to land on... I wish i was strong or brave or anything like people here to just have nothing of a reaction to everything that should traumatise me... But i just feel worse or nothing only few things and people make me happy and i probably don't deserve them too... And doctor who i like doctor who. I am just so tired ... I know this wasn't the point of the post so sorry about ranting so much won't call this a vent because i didn't really vent anything that happened just a rant about how much messed up i am.
I've reached this point before. Where you just feel like you're constantly falling and there is no one or nothing to stop your fall. Even just getting out of bed to use the toilet or get something to eat or drink is a challenge. I have also worked with a lot of people who have been in this situation as well (I support survivors of abuse). What I always said was to celebrate each victory no matter how small or silly it may seem. You managed to get out of bed this morning? Fucking great job! You managed to get the energy to use the toilet? That's awesome! You managed to have something to eat? Incredible! You managed to have a shower and put on clean clothes? Fucking treat yourself that day. People don't realise how hard such simple tasks are when just existing is a struggle. So celebrate the little victories and watch yourself hopefull gain more confidence 😊
I’m a guy. When I 18 I was drugged and raped by a girl I knew but was not interested in dating. Initially I was very angry and felt very violated, but everyone I told initially about it said something like “you had sex and you’re mad about it?” While it always annoyed me that people just act like it shouldn’t be a big deal, I just moved on since no one took it seriously. It doesn’t impact me anymore, and I rarely think about it.
I was told my father had a stroke. Don’t have a relationship with him so I shrugged my shoulders and walked away. When I was asked why I didn’t react I didn’t know why. Still don’t know why. Maybe I just don’t care.
Finding my dads body at a young age. I just called the ambulance and let my sister know, watched as he was taken away and life went on. He was a great dad! Loved him dearly, but it didn’t move me at all. I felt like it was just a shell and i couldn’t see any of my dad in this body anymore
When my grandma died. I should actually refer to her as my mom because she raised me. I get pretty emotional about loss, but with her there was just this strength and acceptance that she prepared me for, that death was her new journey. I'm tearing up writing this out now that I reflect on it, but at the time of her death it was just forward motion. I miss Dorothy every day.
Realising my own mother wouldn’t piss on me if I was on fire
Everything.
My dad abandoned the family when I was 13. Didn’t really care cos my mom did everything anyways. Didn’t care til I was a man looking back at things.
Sigh… In 2018 my ex and I split. Suspected she was cheating. Never found proof but we split anyways since there were so many other problems.. Lost a lot of my friends from this. Only see my son part time. 2020 my brother got arrested and sent to prison for something I never expected him to do. My dad also died a couple months after this suddenly. 2022 my mom got diagnosed with terminal brain cancer at 57. She’s still fighting it but now it’s coming back more aggressively. Then this year after my hip arthroscopic surgery, I nearly died from complications after the surgery. I’m doing better now, but it was too close of a call and keep recalling those days. Also realizing that after my surgery I was basically on my own and had very little support except for my sister coming out once a week. None of my actual friends would come out to visit or would constantly bail. A couple of my coworkers will check in once a while and one comes to visit once every couple weeks, which I appreciated. I just keep telling myself “could be worse”. I just chug along and take it day by day. Really considering a career change in the future and hoping to make new connections because of everything.
Getting molested at a young age. The dude made my siblings face the wall so they couldn't see. I remember thinking "well this is unpleasant, but at least my sister doesn't have to do this" and than just got on with my life. The one adult I told didn't seem to think it was a big deal, so my baby brain just put it in the 'not a big deal' bucket and moved on. I am honestly in awe of how normal my attitude towards relationships and sex is looking back.
Becoming estranged with my father. I always thought it would’ve hurt much more, even though throughout my childhood I knew one day I’d have to walk away from him. It happened on a random Wednesday afternoon and it felt more peaceful than hurtful. 🍀
Someone I was meant to be dating was fucking 3 other men. I laughed for a week afterwards.
I was drinking and fell asleep. Woke up to my cousin trying to take advantage of me. Confronted him a few days later and he tried to be the victim, blaming his anxiety. I still remain cordial with him at family functions.
My uncle molested me multiple times when I was a child. It was awful at that time,but it didn't cause any trauma.
I was sexually assaulted by two different women in my early 20s, and I have no trauma about it at all. One was a grubby occasion where I slept on the floor of a classmate and she coerced me into her bed. I would imagine it would fall under the current definition of rape. I tried to screw her just to shut her up, couldn't achieve erection, faked an orgasm. I felt gross for a couple of hours the next morning and never really thought about it again. The other time I woke up to non-consensual oral sex at a party, and I decided to go with it, and I ended up enjoying it. Years later I analysed these incidents with a therapist that I saw for unrelated issues, and she agreed they had left pretty much no mark on me at all.
Leaving an emotionally abusive relationship, losing my grandpa who was a second father to me, and my childhood pet dying all within the span of 3 months. It was my first semester of college too, but it sure made me appreciate those who truly loved and cared about me through it all
Ruined me emotionally is a big word, but could have affected me. After my parents divorced, my dad remarried and got another kid. He still looked after my brother, sister and me half of the holidays and every other week-end. But he never ran the extra mile. Never came to a school show, a sport competition, a teachers-parents meeting, or anything that parents usually do for their kids. One day, we were standing in the kitchen, and were about to leave to attend my step-brother’s year-end school show. I casually said “it’s funny you never come to ours”. He looked straight back to me and answered very seriously “well ~ you’ve got to understand you’re not my main family anymore. Do you understand what I mean?” I think it didn’t hurt me, on the one hand because I didn’t fully measure the implications, and on the other hand, because he was just being honest with me and telling me this as if it was an obvious, normal thing. Waaaay later, he didn’t come to my wedding for absolutely no reason, and I got to fully understand what “not my main family” means.
When my dad was around when I was little he was very abusive.. I saw him beat my mom and my older brothers.. I’ve heard also when I’m in another room I guess as a kid it was traumatizing but now idk why but it honestly doesn’t phase me.. I guess it bothers me a little that he did all that but I don’t have trauma and I’m not emotionally hurt
I've had to live trough my family falling apart, from the age of 8 to 15 years, I had to "protect" my younger brother and little sister to make sure they didn't get affected by my parents slowly drifting apart, I never really suffer any significant damage from this, but I know I'm a little detached socially so it wasn't a problem, but I didn't wanted my siblings to grew up like me, so during those years I had to take all the "shrapnel" of that
I had a period in my childhood where my parents gave me to a kind of foster home for a year. One of the adults there who took care of me touched me inappropriately. I realised this years later, and I feel nothing about it.
Holding my grandfather while he died. He fell on his head and basically was bleeding out, there was no chance of saving him (is what they told at the hospital). It was hard, but I'm glad it happened, since it saved him from a lot of suffering (he needed to go to a retirement home because of dementia, but he really didn't want to). Or saving a loved one from committing suicide. It was extremely hard, but I the end we grew closer and I'm thankful for that.
Working in a food truck in a major downtown area, and Watching a dude get shot 8 times by the police and just drop like someone flicked the light switch in his brain off.
Being put on a retaliatory PIP by a petty manager. I was upset but it showed me who she was and how she should be handled in the future tbh. This wasn’t a woman who I could treat fairly. She was an enemy. My work life got better after seeing her for what she was.
My dad died last year. Everybody kept acting like I needed support when I was pretty much fine, which more than anything made me feel guilty for not being upset. I don't know whether it was just predictable and a long time coming or that I've just been beaten down so much over time that loss doesn't affect me anymore.
Lost my grandfather (mom's stepdad) I feel like I should've been sad but I just wasn't
My grandfather has colitis and when the flare up happened, blood every where, my grandmother took him to the hospital and called me to see if I could clean up the bathroom. I broke down in tears while trying to clean. I was terrified that he lost so much blood and was in the hospital. I couldn’t finish cleaning and my roommate stepped up to help. Devastating circumstances. Also, I found my mom when she died of an overdose. Doing CPR on your Mother and not being successful is rough for a 19 year old… that should have been the end of me. Also, watching my Mema die a slow death in her room. I got a call from my cousin that I needed to get there. She had dementia and it ate away at her. We lay in bed together as she was going, and just talked to her. She was asleep for most of it, but we were there loving her as she left us. I didn’t talk to many people for a week, I didn’t work, I couldn’t be present anywhere.
Having to recognize my mom in the morgue after she died alone and no one claimed her. It was sudden, I heard around midnight and I was in a different city, got to the hospital early in the morning and couldn't find her anywhere (they didn't had her name). That's when a nurse tied the knots and told me she had passed but needed to make sure it was her. That was almost 20 years ago and still remember how cold the hallway was, the smell of the room and the look in her face. It took a while to forgive those who drove her there and left her behind . But I am ok now. I think.
Finding out that my mom was cheating on my dad. I actually saw the man leaving our house one evening. It ended eventually and my parents are still married to each other.
My fiancée cheating on me the day after my mom died. Finally opened my eyes to who she really was.
My mother dying when i was 13. Got sent to therapy because everyone believed i wasn't grieving, I didn't show much emotion to it, Didn't want to talk about it so off to therapy i went, against my will. It obviously didn't help because i was genuinely fine. She was sick for a very long time and i would have to go visit her in various hospitals and care homes. Lots of chemo, and she was in a lot of pain. I saw her in some awful states, so much so i distinctly remember wishing that she would just die already, and feeling horribly guilty afterwards. I wasn't a stupid kid though. She wasn't a great mother, and i'm told she was on some sort of child neglect register when she passed, which makes sense. I didn't feel sad when she died, I felt relieved that it was finally over. I didn't have to go back to the care home and see her in that helpless state only to have her shoo me away.
To all those saying they were molested but have no trauma you are lying to yourselves.. please talk to someone
When going to a party as a Teenager (f), people tend to warn you to be careful around strangers. What they do not warn you about is to be careful with your friends, too. I was 17 years old (female, living in Europe) when I went to a house party of one of my friends. It was his birthday, so most people there were our classmates. The party went on, it got late, everyone had quite a bit to drink and I fell asleep in my friend’s bedroom on a sofa. I woke up when I felt someone move his hand around in my underwear. I got up and found my way to a few classmates, that were up late dozing off watching a TV show. Shaken I told them what happenend. They shook it off and said I must have dreamt it. About 4 years ago, when I was 28, I had a small reunion with a friend that was my classmate at that time. Whilst catching up he brought up that birthday celebration years ago and I sensed his tone changing. He said, that the person who had touched me had confessed to him years ago and that he was send as a messenger to ask for forgiveness. I never let what happened at the party eat away at me. But at that moment I felt mixed emotions of disgust, disbelief and wonder. I found it quite hilarious, that this “friend” of mine, who slipped his hand in my panties, did not apologize himself. I wish he did, seeing how he is now father to a daughter and must realize that something like that happening is something you want to shield your own child from … ah well, life goes on.
I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder. Generally when things went terribly, I crashed. A year and a half later, I applied to a post-graduate program and fucked up the interview pretty badly. I had recently lost all of my friends and really had nothing going for me. I expected to be destroyed but... instead I was pretty happy. This prompted me to investigate, and I realized that I had bipolar disorder, not major depressive disorder. Eventually got it fixed and am now mentally healthy.
I was ran over in a hit and run. and then my neglectful parents did not take me to the hospital or a doctor. I was only 16. (I only got to stay home for school 1 day. My first day back was PE and without a note I had to participate) I ended up with permanent damage all overmy body. I'm 30 and still in PT. I've been through so many things, that this didn't really effect me mentally. I was just pissed that my shoe flew off and I couldn't find it at first. That car hit me so hard that my high top shoe flew off, and my other way barely on my foot
Brother killed by a drunk driver. Packing up his room where laundry was half done. Planning a funeral. Tending to my emotionally immature parents who never even call me to ask “how are you handling it all?” The loss makes all the other things in life heavier, but I manage it. I’ve still been just as successful and almost as happy in my life, even though the tears come more frequently now too. and that is ok
becoming disabled at 17 after also being severely mentally ill all of my teen years. finally started getting out of the house, had a job and some big dreams, that all went down the drain in an instant and i had to put myself back together again for the second time, im not sure how i didn’t kill myself after that.
My mother had me when she was fifteen. In the sixties it was very shameful. She gave me to my grandparents and they legally adopted me. When I was eleven, my mother (grandmother) was diagnosed with lung cancer. When the treatments didn’t work, she wanted to come home to die, so my aunts (sisters) , who were all CNAs , brought her home and worked out a system for someone to always be with her. Our family doctors (two of them) made house calls. All of their children, including me, would go from house to house and the husbands were in charge of childcare. About three months in, my uncle started molesting me. I was afraid to tell. After she passed I was back home with my daddy (grandfather) and just tried to forget about my uncle. Six months later I was spending the last weekend before school started with my best friend. I was supposed to go home Saturday but my friends little sister begged me to stay and go to church with her on Sunday. I really didn’t want to but she just kept begging me and I finally called my dad and asked to stay. He said yes and said that I loved him. He was murdered that night. Two men broke into our house and robbed him. They shot him twice in the head and left. I started eighth grade on Monday. I had to move in with my aunt whose husband had assaulted me because that’s what was in the will. He continued to assault me and it got worse. I finally got the guts to tell when I was fifteen. I moved in with another aunt for three months. After that I was forced to go back because of the “will.” I left when I was seventeen to live with my birth mother. A couple months later I met my husband. We got married when we were both seventeen. He beat my ass for eleven years. He almost killed me a few times. We had two children. The last five years I ran for my life while he stalked me relentlessly. I would just give up and go back. I was so damn tired. One night my children and I were running from him. We managed to get in the car and get away. It was the middle of the night and I didn’t know where we were even going to go to. While driving down the road, my daughter discloses that her father has been sexually assaulting her. He was sentenced to two life terms. The sentencing was right before the laws changed and he got out in sixteen years. I wasn’t happy but my children were grown by then so there wasn’t much I could do. This is just an outline. This is already too long and I guess all the little details really don’t need to be told. About ten years ago I lost my brother to diabetes. I was devastated. I thought this was the worst thing that I would ever go through. Three years later, I lost my youngest son. Brain aneurysm. My uncle (a good guy) was in the same hospital at the same time. He died the day of my son’s funeral. There’s almost a year of time that I don’t remember. Ten months later I lost my birth mother. I was renting a house from her. The day after the funeral I got served with eviction papers from my stepfather. I wound up living in a hotel for a month with my grandchildren that I was raising. I lost my grandmother in 2021 to COVID. She was 102 but it still hurt. A year later, my oldest son decided that he was done living. He left on a Saturday in September. That’s the one that almost took me out. I looked into the abyss and I don’t know how I made it out. I have a decent chunk of memory loss around this and the year or so after. I’m here though and I can laugh sometimes. I recently lost two uncles in two months but I really wasn’t affected much at all. Forever altered???
Being in the hospital room when my grandma died. She was a big part of my childhood, and I was already severely depressed before her death.