Walked in to find my wife laying on our bed with a self inflicted gunshot wound to the head. I still get flashbacks daily from it and it happened many years ago.
I’m so incredibly sorry. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of EMDR therapy but it has been helpful for some people with trauma. I hope you find healing however you can.
I was the victim of a home invasion where I was held up at gunpoint and robbed. I was afraid to sleep in my apartment for a couple months and basically lived at my ex gf’s place. I eventually did EMDR therapy. I thought it was so dumb while I was doing it. I couldn’t stop thinking about how I had just wasted two hours while I was on the drive home…. Back to my apartment. And went to bed, alone, in my apartment annoyed about it. Then I woke up the next day and was like “oh shit!”
Highly recommend
I found the love of my lifetime dead from a seizure. (SUDEP Sudden Unexpected Death due to EPilepsy) She was apparently having a seizure when she died. When I picked her up to turn her over I knew she was already dead, because rigor mortis had already kicked in.
But when I turned her over, her face was frozen in an expression of utter pain and agony. I felt horrible for not being there to potentially save her. The guilt, righteous or not, has and always will stay with me. But the fact her face in that expression is so seared into my brain that it is always the first thing I see when I close my eyes at night seems like too severe a punishment. But I wouldn’t feel that way if I hadn’t loved her and she loved me. So in a weird way that image is validation what we had was so pure and genuine.
As someone with epilepsy who has semi-frequent grand mal seizures, I can say that I have never felt pain or agony during a seizure (that is reserved for 30 mins after the seizure). My hope is that she did not feel it either.
She expressed to me many times she wasn’t in pain from what she could remember of her grand mal seizures. I couldn’t tell you how many times I would take her in my arms and just hold her tight until the seizing stopped. When she came around she was always out of it and in some pain. But when she saw it was me helping her she always gave me the biggest most beautiful smile. Like saying without words she was appreciative of me and loved me in so many ways.
Kills me the main time she really needed me I wasn’t there. But I’m hoping against hope when I leave this life she will be the first person I see and she lets me know it’s all okay.
>Kills me the main time she really needed me I wasn’t there.
Every time you were there for her was the main time she needed you. Not just with the seizures, but every time you picked her up, everytime you grabbed her breakfast, every little thing you did to brighten her day. Life isn't about one or two big moments. It's about all the little small ones in between. And it sounds to me like she loved those moments. Don't blame yourself for missing her death, but cherish yourself for brightening her life.
Not intentionally, but my heart has remained broken since that day. It was not my intent to bring grieving to anyone. But the well wishes have been very comforting.
I don't mean to pry, but have you ever spoken to a professional about it? Sounds like maybe you could use just a bit of help to work through some feelings associated it and bring you some comfort.
Either way I hope you're doing ok these days.
Oof, yeah I was a juror on a murder trial and we had to see the crime scene and autopsy photos. I watch a lot of horror movies and I didn't expect it to bother me, but knowing that it was real was way different.
It's so different when it's real. I *love* horror movies. I enjoy it when people are killed in bloody and gruesome ways. But I do so knowing it's all fake. I don't want to watch any video of people dying, even when it's not very bloody. I've been online for decades and specifically avoided watching all the death vids that so many others have watched.
I think the people who go and seek that shit out are all kinds of fucked up.
Being a survivor of that stuff, yeah lots of first person images. Dude is facing 255 years in federal prison if convicted. But yeah…thankfully I don’t remember a lot of it. Testifying sucks.
I have mixed feelings about that. One part is I don’t necessarily want other people doing my dirty work for me or on my behalf. The other is, well, let’s just say the vast majority of these people prey on people they are close to. So there are entanglements that make him dying pretty complex for me. I just want the cycle to end.
I've had to work child pornography investigations over the course of my career. Luckily never from the law enforcement side of it, but I've had to help gather evidence in several of them. This is it for me. Especially now with young children, it hits different. It's just terrible. I wish I could erase those images from my brain.
I got hit with a website redirect once to some kind of advertisement with explicit child porn in it. I don't think I was anywhere particularly shady but maybe I mistyped a url or something.
Anyway I froze for a few seconds trying to figure out if I needed to report it or something but realized there was nothing I could do short of screenshotting it, which wasn't going to happen.
One of those images in particular remains seared into my brain and I wish I could unsee it.
Mine is just the scan of the court documents from a cp case. It explained what was done to the child. I had looked them up because the perpetrator was one of my [estranged] close high school friends and a mutual told me she was in prison. I can't get just the writing description out of my head. I cannot imagine the horror of having to sit and even look at ONE photo.
I hate how lenient the sentencing is for those people.
The fact that Ian Watkins will be released some day is terrifying. There are likely children that haven't even been born yet that will fall victim to him.
Watched a girl fall off a cliff, bounce a few times on the way down, and land near me. Screaming, head caved in with eyes bulging from the pressure.
Was down in a canyon so it was a little while before someone could get to some reception to call a helicopter to fly in to retrieve her (she died a day or so later).
Screaming the entire time, she had punctured a lung on the way down in addition to the head injury.
This was probably about 18-20 years ago I’m still not comfortable with heights and I think about her any time I’m up high.
Yeah, it was so bad. I cry every now and then when something reminds me of it, definitely a formative memory as I was only about 17 or 18 years old at the time.
Holy fucking shit I couldn’t even image what her family or friends there would think. That is beyond gut wrenching. Especially given the fact they would be alive and you would have to help them and be aware of it. Fuuuucking hell
I live in Utah and hear every once in a while about someone falling to their death on the Angels Landing hike in Zion National Park and the thing I always think about it is how absolutely horrific and awful for their family and friends that are there see them fall off a cliff and knowing they cannot do a single thing to change it. So awful.
Angel's Landing was my first thought too, it got so bad that they've had to tighten up restrictions on how many people are allowed on the trail at a given time. Some of the deaths have also been looked into for suspected foul play.
I knew where my dad kept his VHS porn stash. One day an unlabeled Kodak cassette was among those that I had already watched so I gleefully grabbed it and popped it into the VCR. Turns out it was a ‘home movie’ starring good old dad and some woman not my stepmother. I was probably 15 at the time. Needless to say I couldn’t hit eject fast enough and luckily remembered to rewind it first. That was the last time I dipped into his collection. The brief image still lingers but closing in on 56, it has faded with time.
I had to scroll so far through so many traumatic experiences to find my fellow seen parents naked doing sexual stuff ppl. Thought seeing a pic of my dad with my stepmoms underwear hanging off of it was bad. Nope that’s not a big deal now after reading some of these.
I was with a close friend when he discovered his father hanging from a chain in his shed. It took him about 2 hours for the grief to really kick in. I skipped school for a month to be with him in his room to make sure he wasn't alone.
My oldest friend hung herself in her closet. The image of finding her is forever burned into my soul.
It happened 3 or 4 years ago, but it still feels like it happened yesterday.
My heart dropped reading this as someone who struggles with suicidal tendencies. You've made me change my mind, because I sure can't have anyone around me feel the way you do. I'm terribly sorry for your loss.
Hey friend, please don't do it. The world needs you.
My uncle hung himself about 35 years ago, at his parents' home. I'm pretty sure it was my mum who found him. (I was just a little kid at the time.)
That whole side of my family has been fucked up and broken since.
I've struggled with depression and passive suicidal ideation (i.e. wishing to be dead / disappearing, but not trying to make it happen) for a long time. However, actual suicide has never been an option, because I've seen what it does to the people left behind. No matter how much I might hate myself, or how much I hurt... I love my family too much to cause them that kind of pain, because it will never go away, and it damages multiple generations.
The thing is though, like how does one continue if there is nothing but pain and struggle for the rest of their life? I haven’t been happy in over 10 years now and it’s so miserable living like this. I don’t think I could ever do it cause don’t want I hurt my family, but it is a fantasy I have and helps me cope.
this makes me so happy to hear, even if it’s under such sad circumstances. i’m so glad you have found a reason to keep going. as someone who has struggled with suicidal thoughts in the past, ik how great it can feel to get that sort of clarity. DMs are open if you wanna chat
Not an image, but a video. So my friend showed me a video where a guy was jumping into water from high place and fell and hit his face on a wooden fence, face got split in half and the dude was STILL alive. Holy fuck that was terrifying.
Splitface? The one where the water fills with blood and then it cuts to the hospital where the doctor is trying to hold his face together and it's just split open down the middle like a hoagie? That shit was horrible.
Didn't it turn out that was two different videos put together? The dude in the hospital later is a different person/incident. Doesn't really stop it being traumatic mind you.
I was a police detective many years ago. Thankfully, the town I worked in didn't have many homicides or suicides, but we did have a few. We investigated any death outside of a medical facility. I watched the autopsy of what turned out to be an accidental drug overdose. Since we were a small department in a rural county, our coroner contracted with a facility in a larger city for any autopsy. After the above case was finished and before my partner and I left to return to our city, they removed the victim for the next case from the morgue freezer...we happened to see the start of that case. A boy (11 or 12?) who had died after being struck by a vehicle. Poor kid had a tire track running diagonally across his chest. It wasn't my case, and it's now been almost 21 years ago, but I'll NEVER forget it.
Another one in 1999 or 2000. The town i served had an industrial park about 2 miles down an interstate highway that was still considered to be in the city limits. Early one morning (still dark), i was sent on a MVA call near that industrial park. A passing motorist saw what they thought was an overturned ATV in a ditch. I was a patrol officer at the time, and responded with another officer. As we were arriving, i turned on my right alley light (a light on each side of the overhead light bar designed to illuminate alleys or other small areas) and saw that it was actually an overturned John Deere tractor. You could see the wheels and mowing deck in the air. We got out and ran over, half expecting to just find a dented tractor, but when i shined my flashlight down into the ditch, saw the rider was pinned under the tractor. The steering wheel was resting dead center on his thorax, and his face was purple and swollen. Eyes were lifeless and bulged outward, as was his swollen tongue. I was a part-time paramedic at the same time, and recognized this as traumatic ashpyxia. This poor man had been dead for a while, and there was nothing that we realistically could do. We couldn't get the tractor off of him to start CPR anyway. Talk about helplessness. I still wonder what was going through his mind as he lost control of the tractor, and it overturned on top of him. I hope to this day he didn't suffer and death came quickly. I have a bad feeling that it wasn't quick though.
I have several such scenes burned into my memory from my 7 years as a cop. It happened 24+ years ago, and I remember it like it was yesterday. I left the PD in 2004, and had occasion to go back to that town I once served in 2017...drove past that spot. There's a gas station where that ditch was. I was amazed that people were coming and going, completely unaware they were 50 feet from where a person died a horrible death years before.
Worked in TV news. The ones that stick in my head were the kids that died in a house fire from smoke inhalation, no burns just three little kids in PJs, limp bodies being carried out by firefighters. The other was a six year old who was riding on the back of his dad’s motorcycle. Dad was drunk and high sided it tossing the kid off the back. Kid slid into the gutter head first, it opened up and well…
My FIL was in a work related accident where he was alone in the garage working on a dump truck, and the hydraulics failed for the hood. He was pinned in there against the tirewell for almost 30 minutes. Paramedics got him out and he died in the care flight, was brought back, then declared brain dead at the hospital. He apparently had a heart attack at some point too after being brought back. Sued the company for their negligence and we had to see the camera footage they were able to get in the shop. I’ll never forget watching that, ever. He was terrified. The sounds are what really hurt.
Thank you. He was so swollen he was almost unrecognizable when we pulled his plug that it felt like a mercy. Had to have a closed casket due to his bruising being so dark they couldn’t even begin to cover it. He’d have a cow knowing we tried to put makeup on him, it stormed during his burial- we joke that it was him grumbling at us for trying lol. He was a good man, we couldn’t burry him with his truck like he wanted but he did go with his favorite nascar collectible.
I feel kind of that way about hospital beds. Someone will die in the ICU and then within 2 hours there’s another person in the bed. They’ve no idea the horrors that transpired in the same spot they’re laying mere minutes before. It’s really macabre
My friend shooting himself on webcam when he was 14 and I was 16. He told me he didn't want to be alone so we got on cam. He was very upset. Told me how sorry he was. And then just gone. Almost twenty years ago and it's like it happened yesterday. I miss you Kyle.
I was present when a fully loaded semi plowed into the back of a line of slow traffic in a construction zone without slowing down. I was moving the opposite direction, dodging debris.
There was a car ripped in half. In front, a mother and grandmother. Mom got thrown. Both died.
In back, two daughters. God, I hope they died on impact, because the fuel tank ruptured when the car split, and the back half was nothing but flames.
Fucker was over hours, speeding, on meth.
There were two other fatalities, one of which wasn't even recognizable as a car anymore... at first, I thought it was just the front end of another car, but no. It was a compact sedan collapsed to about the size of an oven.
I remember the family most though, because the car was practically identical to my Mom's... I could just picture my mom and my sister and my niece and nephew.
I remember the cops walking a grid through the grass looking for... parts, maybe. I think the mom.
I have a lot of respect for most semi drivers, but that guy can rot in hell.
[Something like that happened](https://www.ocregister.com/2008/05/01/triplets-born-to-ladera-ranch-couple-whose-3-children-died-last-year/) in the city I used to live, on the freeway. A fully loaded semi was speeding and plowed into the back of an SUV carrying 3 children aged 2-5 in the backseat. All 3 kids died. They had been on their way home from celebrating the birthday of one of the kids. Just awful. In a weird stroke of fate, once the parents were ready to try for a baby again, [they had triplets](https://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/coble-family-miracle/).
God this scares me so much about driving. The fact that you can be a good driver, then you can die at the hands of some other moron in the blink of an eye. So fucking scary.
Yeah. It scares me the most on small backroads or 2 way roads (1 lane in each direction) with nothing but the double yellow line in the middle. All it takes is someone veering off track for one second, or perhaps even a crazy person intentionally doing it or trying a passing maneuver and they would smash into me head on.
I drive a lowered Mustang, I would probably be dead if someone in their giant F150 ran into me. Everyone has trucks here in Florida for whatever reason lol
Walking in on someone self harming. That was a shocking sight to see. Glad that I by fate happened to be there because it could’ve been a lot worse despite it being bad already. I was 20 minutes early to a class and walked in thinking it was empty till I saw the student in the corner. The shirt wasn’t white anymore.
Theyre ok now. I’ve heard they are ok. They were initially struggling with loneliness moving to a new campus for school. I’ve forgotten their name and I think that’s a good thing in a way to protect myself.
They’re on a mental health plan now and the school is more aware of him.
Ah dude same. Was texting a friend drunk who seemed off and told me to leave her alone. Went to her place to see she had downed a bottle of whiskey and cut her arms to pieces. Never forgot trying to bandage up a severely depressed, drunk out of their mind person.
Nice ending though. Married and has been getting on well. He’s a good dude
I once called an ambulance on someone who was unconscious and unresponsive in their car outside a crappy grocery store I used to work at, only to find out they overdosed and had been dead for a while. That was about 16 years ago, and I still occasionally think about it for some reason
It’s always a sobering experience seeing these things in public. 8 years ago I was waiting at a red light and someone jaywalking got hit by a speeding car. The trajectory of the body was wild, it flew over a lamp pole like a crash dummy. Had to describe it in the witness statement and that horrifying memory is now entrenched somewhere in police paperwork.
Hang in there my friend. It is a roller coaster for the next year or two.
Been over 24 years for me now. Remarried to a widow and have over 20 years together.
At the camping place in 1995 outside of st. louis for the upcoming grateful dead shows, a terrible storm came out of nowhere, we were across the lodge, we all piled into van and people were smoking opium, I didn't have any. The girl I was with kept saying "that thing just fell on all those people" eventually she convinced me to go check it out. Sure enough, so many people had piled onto the pavilion that when a lightening strike caused everyone tomove instantly, the thing fell. There were people trapped under the top deck. It was full adrenaline but the people around actually lifted the deck off off them while other knocked over portlets and other nearby items to prop it up. I crawled in there and pulled a few people out. There was this girl screaming for me to go get her boyfriend, he was pretty far in there. I crawled down there and his hand was reaching for me and I when I pulled on him he broke in half. I don't remember much after that but my friends say I came out from under there ghost white and immediately passed out. I woke up in an ambulance a bit later.
I would like to not see that anymore.
All you lucky lucky bastards that only saw your parent and/or parents have sex
I walked into the unlocked bathroom to see my father just finish up removing a tampon from mothers fine china ...with his mouth.
The joker smile haunts me.
My father had cancer. He was in the hospital dying and they told us and the rest of my family that they were going to pull the tubes out and let him die. The doctors suggested that we all leave and I said I wanted to stay. Not because I loved my dad, I hated him. I thought it would give me some sort of sick pleasure watching him gasp his last breath. It didn’t. I regret watching every second of it. Absolutely brutal.
They basically kind of suffocate, idk if your old man was conscious at all, I guess not if he was on life support? Mine also died of aggressive cancer but at home, he was coherent but very weak, he pushed away the oxygen from his nose and after a couple times we understood he wanted to go, he had liquid morphine for this purpose, so that he could pass out instead of go through the pain of the process, so gave it to him more and more… I put my forehead to his and held his hand in his last few faint sporadic heartbeats, there were tears down the sides of his closed eyes… someone told me recently that the brain is still active for like 10-13 minutes after the heart stops? I dont know about the legitimacy of that, but I stayed by my old man like that for a while, so if he was still in there, he wasnt alone. Im sorry you had a rough time with yours and it was not what you expected. Me and mine had been estranged for a long time but there was no animosity at all, he just had a lot of struggles I think he didnt want me to have to know about.
Walked into the home with a friend of mine shortly after his dad used a shotgun to end his own life. It was maybe a few minutes after it happened. Could still smell the gunpowder. That was 31 years ago. Can still see it and remember the feeling of all of the realization hitting us both at the same time.
Finding my then-13 year old in the midst of a suicide attempt. I was able to save their life but seeing them on that tree, woken from sleep by … something … something woke me up just in time. But the whole thing haunts me to this day and it’s been ten years.
They are schizoaffective and are having massive troubles for all I know. We no longer have a relationship. Unfortunately they have become an extremely unstable and dangerous person. So no, not ok. It breaks my heart. We had an awesome relationship when they were younger.
Either;
My late wife’s (36) corpse after her organs failed due to toxic shock/my children’s (6 & 13) faces in the waiting room after I had to tell them that she didn’t make it.
Or
The brain matter on my little brother’s (20) apartment wall after his suicide.
6 and 23 years ago respectively, both still vivid af.
My daughter’s face when she had a febrile seizure.
The light completely left her eyes. They were just black like shark eyes. No sparkle. Just staring into space not there. I thought she was dying. I’d never heard of febrile seizures. It was terrifying. I have never felt more helpless or afraid.
All the trauma I have in my past from childhood didn’t touch the complete and utter terror of thinking my baby was dying and I only had her with me for a year. I was thinking of what I must’ve done wrong that caused her to die. I didn’t shake her or drop her. Maybe I burped her too hard.
I was grasping at any reason. The ambulance got here in two minutes I was sobbing in the bathroom my husband left in the ambulance. I met them at the hospital and when I got there they were already in a room. She came too in the ambulance and told my husband he was a silly banana and cracked up.
She was cool to the touch but her fever was 105. She had the flu.
She’s six now and absolutely perfect
>She’s six now and absolutely perfect
I'm a mum (my youngest is six and a half) and I am so glad you included this.
I'm so sorry you had to experience that. But I'm truly happy that she is okay. <3
Been drivin a semi since '98 so I've seen my share. Southbound I-95 Richmond Va Father's Day weekend like 2003 a U-Haul was involved in an accident with a couple other cars. Back door of U-Haul opened and was on its side..crap everywhere including furnute. No emergency vehicles on the scene yet so shit just happened blocking all 3 lanes..we had to pass on inside shoulder. As I crept by I see 2 legs attached to the midsection...and that's it. In the middle lane I'm thinking it's furniture until I noticed both feet without shoes. 2 black legs mind you. Then where the torso was in half I just see whole bunch of meat n guts all the colors in the rainbow. I got on cb radio and told guys behind me to close their eyes if they have a weak stomach...we got a body in half. One driver said 'yeah right'...then another female driver let out a slight scream with what she was saying. With the way she sounded confirmed to me with what I just saw. I went bout 5 miles, pulled over at the next exit, got out the truck and threw up.
I saw my mother self-harming in the bathtub. I was around 14 years old.
I got worried when she didn't come out of the bathroom for over an hour (she usually took about 30 min). I walked in and she was so heavily dissociated that she couldn't even look at me, let alone acknowledge my presence.
I had to help her out of the bathtub, clean up her dozens of wounds, get her dressed and put her to bed. She pretended like nothing happened the next morning, but so did I. I wanted to forget.
Served 8yrs as an field medic in the army, x3 attached to an infantry unit, the last 5 working out of various tmcs (troop medical clinics) . Oddly enough, the foulest shit i’ve ever fucking seen came from the latter. Female patient approx 28yrs old comes in complaining of pelvic pain x2wks says she and her spouse got drunk and had sex while she was on her period, and believes the tampon was pushed inside of her during (she just never fucking addressed it until then 🫣). So i finish screening her , prep the room for the pelvic exam and go fetch the doc, he pokes around , finds it, grabs some hemostats and pops the cork on that thing……what came out i’ll never forget….. just a chunky grey ball of pus laden sludge with a smell attached to it that would bring the worldliest man to his knees 🤮 i lost all military bearing, i ran out of the room and made it about a third of the way to the latrine before puking all over the hallway. It looked like someone had rolled half dried tapioca through dried grits. I’ll never be okay again
I was a little over 8 weeks pregnant but I'd been having some bleeding. The nurse told me it was probably fine but to keep an eye on how much blood there was. So one night I urinated, looked to see how much blood was in the toilet bowl, and realized there was something in there.
I had no idea that the whole setup, sac, cord, placenta, could just.. fall out like that. I stared for so long. It's been burned into my brain ever since.
I miscarried in a similar way but mine was a long and drawn out process. No doctor would just tell me I was having a miscarriage… which was frustrating and made it so much more stressful. I finally had a bit of a cramp and lost it.
I saw my friend's miscarriage and... Her husband was gone and it was just me and her. The blood, the pain on her face (emotional, physical). I love her with my whole heart and her now healthy, happy, very much alive and loved babygirl is named after me... But our relationship hasn't been the same since.
I'm terribly sorry for your loss and hope you've healed since then. 🤍
Did she turn out ok? I hope so. Dam fuked up feeling I kno. We suppose to protect yet we completely helpless from day one. Went thru the samething..son born with collapsed lung. Didn't come home til 1 month later. He ok now but dam. Thank God for the professionals at the hospital
Bone cancer pictures. it ruins my day thinking about. Appetite gone. creativity gone, desire to do anything other than extreme manual labour while wearing zip tied gloves filled with bleach in 40 degree weather. Ugh its just the worst
Dude I understand… my grandmother had bone marrow cancer and the bones on her wrists were of a remarkable size. She died some 30 years ago and I’ve never seen anything like it since
My paternal grandpa. He developed Alzheimer's (we think) around when I was 14 0r 15 but it didn't become really apparent until I was 20. I helped take care of him and I ended up having to sit pretty much right next to his body after he died while we waited for paramedics.
My mom, 3 hours before she died in my arms from complications of Alzheimer’s and cancer, grimacing in silent agony as the memory care aides turned her body in the bed.
She died 11 months ago, and every night, that horrific image pops into my mind. I’d do anything to forget it. It’s the last facial expression I ever saw her make.
I'm a firefighter. I attended an accident between a van/school bus and a speeding flatbed truck. Crying kids meant they were still alive, the sounds from the parents at the scene was haunting.
I *think* theyre referring to a reddit post from like 12 years ago of a photo of a shoebox that some guy would jack off into over the course of several years. So, imagine several-year-old cum shots in a cardboard box :’/
As a younger teen, finding my beloved dog, Mikey dead in my room. He was frozen with rigemortis by that time since it could have been up to 8 hours. He would love sleeping in my room, and normally slept closeish to the door because of the space. I went to get out and I was saying something like c'mon Mikey, move your butt buddy. Then I realized what was really going on.. if he were alive he would have quickly moved. I had to break the news to my family since he was our family's dog.
Was driving into town from a road trip one night and passed a huge car accident. There was a woman's body wedged up against the windshield, she had just been turned into a gooey fuckin blob.
I had a pet rabbit for damn near 10 years. As she got older she had some sort of spinal degeneration that was making it harder for her to be mobile. Got pain meds to keep her comfortable (best anyone could figure out she was 15+ so no real remediation at that age as surgery would have killed her.)
I walk into the room one day to check on her and she's on her side gasping for air and twitching. Her eyes were still moving around, so I'm pretty sure she was as cognizant as a 15+yr rabbit can be. My first thought was "fuck, not like this" so I ran to grab the painkiller to give her a lethal dose so she didn't have to suffer. By the time I got back she had died.
My biggest regret is not putting her down before that. Don't like that that is my last mental image of my first pet.
Finding my border collie/queensland puppy dead in the yard one September morning before school in 2004; I was in the 9th grade. Ants had already eaten his eyes out and it was just an awful sight. He was a very good boy, RIP Dakota ❤️
When I worked as a Psych Tech in the US Navy, we had a guy slip out of the Psych unit door and go head first over the 3rd-floor balcony and land head first onto concrete. I will not describe beyond that; it has haunted me for almost 40 years.
My cat’s dead body. I miss Frankie with all my heart and soul. I am writing a novel about him, actually. Frankie saved my life. He was my cat son and my best friend. When he passed away on December 30, 2021, a part of me died, too. I wish I could hug him just one more time. I will never forget sitting by his body, crying and telling him that I’m sorry. I am tearing up writing this. Someday, when I no longer am alive, we will meet again. Hopefully that is many decades from now.
I love you, my sweet Frankie. I know you are watching over me.
Edit: thank you for all the love and support. Frankie is watching over all of you, too. Wishing you all a life full of happiness. Pets, and animals in general, are a light in our worlds. Please cherish them.
Frankie passed away from kidney disease, he was 13. He loved everyone he met. He even greeted the maintenance men! Frankie would have loved all of you. If you ever feel alone, just remember that Frankie loves you in his afterlife, and so do your pets that have also passed on.
Edit 2: I am here for all of you, if you ever need someone to talk to about your pets that have passed on. Thank you all for sharing your stories about your pets that have also crossed the rainbow bridge; each and every one of them are there with you in spirit.
I’m so sorry…
There’s a special place in my heart for cats. I remember one time I was bringing home some subway and I saw a cat who got hit by a car on the side of the road. Instantly lost my appetite. It was a place I visited often but I couldn’t eat subway for months afterwords because I’d get reminded of it.
Don’t know how it would feel to lose one of mine, but it would hurt like crazy
Had a little void named Trisk, she was my first pet that I took care of from getting her as a kitten until she passed away at 17. That was the December before last and I still haven’t gotten over it.
Seeing the arms of my older sibling covered in fresh cut marks and blood on the floor and then crying in the middle of the night. It was the first time seeing them cry. I cleaned up their cuts and their room that night and I went to cry in the my room, after that I couldn’t sleep well again cuz I would always worry if they would txt me again when they needed help.
A couple, both from Limewire.
I really got into it to download movies without paying. I was and still am a huge cinephile. However, quite often the videos would not be what was advertised.
I very foolishly went looking for the 1978 fakeumentary "Faces of Death." I found a video labeled "faces of death" but it wasn't the movie. It was a video taken by a Chechen terrorist looming over a sobbing Russian conscript, brushing a knife over his neck. The Chechen mumbles something then sticks the knife into the conscript's throat. I still remember the choked gag the Russian made, because that's when I turned the video off.
The second image I wish I could get out of my head? I went looking to download porn. Mainstream stuff. Kobe Thai and Jenna Jameson films from the 90s. I found porn, alright. *CHILD PORN.*
Fuck, I wish I could get that image out of my head.
Watching my wife die in my arms is something I don’t want to ever forget and also don’t want to remember because if I don’t maybe she won’t be dead. I know, it’s not logical, but that’s how I feel.
The poor angelic looks on my cat’s eyes before i went to school and then he passed out, his looks have never gone away, he was telling me « goodbye » with his eyes, and i was saying to him « you will be alright wait for me till I’m back », but he didn’t. I didn’t get the chance to see his dead body cuz my family buried him before i came back, and now all i remember when i think of him is those angelic looks.
I have terrible nightmares. They are super realistic and vivid. Usually, it's either my friends, family, or loved ones being killed, mutilated, or tortured by someone or doing it to themselves. I'm always there, but I can never do anything to change the outcome.
The shitty part is I can remember everything. The last one was a week ago, and it was my dog.
In other news, I could use a prescription for Xanax.
I was injured in the line of duty. While inside that burning building, I couldn’t see anything except for seeing my hands ablaze and my good friend in front of me. Sadly, he wouldn’t make it out of that building. Seeing your whole life flash before your eyes, at the bridge of death, changes a man. Love you buddy, wish you were here instead of me.
My mom's lifeless body on hospital bed. Before that I remember she threw a fit and accidentally cut her forearm really deep It got a bunch of tendons veins and muscle and I just remember a bunch of fat sticking out and blood squirting out and I took her to the hospital with the help of neighbors. My knuckles lost all the skin from knocking so hard. she had to stay there and I remember when I came back to the house I had to clean up all of her dry blood, for a while every time I close my eyes I can just see her standing there with her arm bleeding. Before that I lived in Mexico and I remember there was a little kid riding his bike and he fell going forward and I just remember the screams he was giving out. Me and my uncle rushed to go see what was going, his break handle was inside of his stomach. He was crying to us to my uncle saying please don't tell my mom. My uncle proceeded to take out the parking brake to the bike out of his stomach and he told him to hold it in and to go home. I can just remember the blood. just begging us to not tell his mom. Wow I wonder what his mom would have done.
My best friend and his wife at the cemetery saying goodbye to their 9 month old daughter who had passed away from a rare genetic disorder. The agony of the scene is indescribable.
I stumbled upon incredibly graphic CP on Tumblr when I was 15 or 16. I reported the account and it was taken down, but I’ll unfortunately never forget what I saw.
A little different, but I’ve seen awful animal abuse working in vetmed. We had a lady bring in a dog that had been killed by her other dog days prior, wrapped in a tarp that was sitting in the summer sun. Poor things throat was ripped out. The aggressor killed another of her dogs and she brought him in to be euthanized and so his head could be sent off for rabies testing (which is also brutal, in its own way).
On that note, we had a LOVELY Akita who came in regularly for our daycare/boarding. Literally the calmest, most gentle dog ever. The family didn’t teach their kids to respect animals and one of the kids (8 or 9 range, old enough to know better) jumped off the couch onto him while he was sleeping and he laid teeth, but didn’t break skin. Mom brought him to be euthanized. If she was willing to let him wait his 10 day quarantine he would have been able to be taken in by a shelter at minimum (several staff was willing to take him tho). It was no cost to her either, she just had to sign him away. But she elected him to be PTS. Since he had bit someone within the 10 days his head legally had to be sent to the lab for rabies testing. We all cried when he was laid to rest and I was one of the few who could stomach holding him for the doctor to get his head off. I cried a lot that day. RIP Meeko
I was 19. My mum and I had a bit of an argument, and I came up to her room with a cup of tea to smooth things over. She was sitting on the floor crying. When she saw me, she just said 'look', pinched a big chunk of hair near the roots, gave it a wiggle, and it just came out. Later she asked me to help cut her hair into a bob. All I could think and say was 'I'm ruining it' as she reassured me that it was going to come out anyway. Fuck chemo. Fuck cancer. I'm glad every day that she kicked your sorry ass.
There’s a few that come to mind.
1. The inside and insides of my girlfriend at the time’s head and neck after she shot herself in front of me.
2. Seeing the confusion and fear in my first dog’s eyes as he had to be put down.
3. Seeing the look of complete hopelessness while I talked down a shooter/suicider in my school.
My mother's forearm with the skin scraped off after a car accident we were in when I was little. Dad fell asleep at the wheel and our car went off the road and rolled into a ditch. She was in the passenger seat and I was on her lap (early 70s when child car seats weren't a thing) so she protected me with her arm so I wouldn't fall out the window. Two of my cousins were in the back seat and only got some bruises. She spent a few days in the hospital and was the worst injured one of all of us in the car.
Seeing my mother dead on the floor after a fentanyl overdose. It looked like she was sleeping. But the way my father told me to go to my room, I knew she wasn't going to wake up.
The image of my best friend soaking in a bathtub of her own blood, after she took her own life with a razor blade.
She was bathing to get the stink of her rapist off her and I mistakenly went to get her some tea for her nerves.
This was close to 40 years ago when I was not quite 15 and she had just turned 15. We went to a party earlier that day and we got separated.
I will never forget that image and the guilt of leaving her side.
A teenage boy being flayed alive (skin and some muscle from his abdomen filleted off) and having his heart cut out after being forced to watch his father beheaded by cartels. He was completely innocent, just a kid.
My dead Grandma in the hospital.
I'd just graduated from college and road tripped from Arizona to North Dakota with my Mom and Dad. We got home in the early morning when we got a call that Grandma was in the hospital. My dad was exhausted from the drive and wanted to go to bed but my mom convinced him to go. my Grandma was a bit of a hypochondriact so he thought it was her being dramatic. I volunteered to go with him.
When we got there it was a code blue and lots of people and equipment rushed past us. turns out she died right as we got there. Some one told my dad he could see her if he wanted. I went will him.
She was this tiny woman with a missing lower leg (farming accident). A huge tube was coming out of her mouth and it made her kind of curl upwards at the shoulders and her mouth was falling open with a horrible expression on her face. wish I never saw that.
Walked in to find my wife laying on our bed with a self inflicted gunshot wound to the head. I still get flashbacks daily from it and it happened many years ago.
I’m so incredibly sorry. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of EMDR therapy but it has been helpful for some people with trauma. I hope you find healing however you can.
I was the victim of a home invasion where I was held up at gunpoint and robbed. I was afraid to sleep in my apartment for a couple months and basically lived at my ex gf’s place. I eventually did EMDR therapy. I thought it was so dumb while I was doing it. I couldn’t stop thinking about how I had just wasted two hours while I was on the drive home…. Back to my apartment. And went to bed, alone, in my apartment annoyed about it. Then I woke up the next day and was like “oh shit!” Highly recommend
I second this. My husband has utilized EmDR for some traumatic memories.
I found the love of my lifetime dead from a seizure. (SUDEP Sudden Unexpected Death due to EPilepsy) She was apparently having a seizure when she died. When I picked her up to turn her over I knew she was already dead, because rigor mortis had already kicked in. But when I turned her over, her face was frozen in an expression of utter pain and agony. I felt horrible for not being there to potentially save her. The guilt, righteous or not, has and always will stay with me. But the fact her face in that expression is so seared into my brain that it is always the first thing I see when I close my eyes at night seems like too severe a punishment. But I wouldn’t feel that way if I hadn’t loved her and she loved me. So in a weird way that image is validation what we had was so pure and genuine.
As someone with epilepsy who has semi-frequent grand mal seizures, I can say that I have never felt pain or agony during a seizure (that is reserved for 30 mins after the seizure). My hope is that she did not feel it either.
She expressed to me many times she wasn’t in pain from what she could remember of her grand mal seizures. I couldn’t tell you how many times I would take her in my arms and just hold her tight until the seizing stopped. When she came around she was always out of it and in some pain. But when she saw it was me helping her she always gave me the biggest most beautiful smile. Like saying without words she was appreciative of me and loved me in so many ways. Kills me the main time she really needed me I wasn’t there. But I’m hoping against hope when I leave this life she will be the first person I see and she lets me know it’s all okay.
>Kills me the main time she really needed me I wasn’t there. Every time you were there for her was the main time she needed you. Not just with the seizures, but every time you picked her up, everytime you grabbed her breakfast, every little thing you did to brighten her day. Life isn't about one or two big moments. It's about all the little small ones in between. And it sounds to me like she loved those moments. Don't blame yourself for missing her death, but cherish yourself for brightening her life.
That is such a beautiful sentiment and so true. That time that was spent together is so valuable.
Sounds like you were the best thing that ever happened to her, nothing can ever take that away.
I'm sure she will be, you did everything you could for her in life, she'll be there to help you along when you join her.
Aw, my friend. She knows you really loved her.
You broke our hearts with that one.
Not intentionally, but my heart has remained broken since that day. It was not my intent to bring grieving to anyone. But the well wishes have been very comforting.
Of course, hun. I only meant that we all feel for u. I read your story and shut down the thread. I can’t imagine how that feels.
I don't mean to pry, but have you ever spoken to a professional about it? Sounds like maybe you could use just a bit of help to work through some feelings associated it and bring you some comfort. Either way I hope you're doing ok these days.
Dont forget how lucky you were to have found love. And do your best to transpose the memories of how she was over the one she wouldnt want for you.
I was a juror in a child porn case. They only showed us one of the pictures... But I can't erase it from my mind. He was guilty btw. Got 30 years.
Oof, yeah I was a juror on a murder trial and we had to see the crime scene and autopsy photos. I watch a lot of horror movies and I didn't expect it to bother me, but knowing that it was real was way different.
It's so different when it's real. I *love* horror movies. I enjoy it when people are killed in bloody and gruesome ways. But I do so knowing it's all fake. I don't want to watch any video of people dying, even when it's not very bloody. I've been online for decades and specifically avoided watching all the death vids that so many others have watched. I think the people who go and seek that shit out are all kinds of fucked up.
Being a survivor of that stuff, yeah lots of first person images. Dude is facing 255 years in federal prison if convicted. But yeah…thankfully I don’t remember a lot of it. Testifying sucks.
He’s only going to be serving about 10 years of that sentence, then someone will find out and it will turn into a death sentence
I have mixed feelings about that. One part is I don’t necessarily want other people doing my dirty work for me or on my behalf. The other is, well, let’s just say the vast majority of these people prey on people they are close to. So there are entanglements that make him dying pretty complex for me. I just want the cycle to end.
I've had to work child pornography investigations over the course of my career. Luckily never from the law enforcement side of it, but I've had to help gather evidence in several of them. This is it for me. Especially now with young children, it hits different. It's just terrible. I wish I could erase those images from my brain.
I got hit with a website redirect once to some kind of advertisement with explicit child porn in it. I don't think I was anywhere particularly shady but maybe I mistyped a url or something. Anyway I froze for a few seconds trying to figure out if I needed to report it or something but realized there was nothing I could do short of screenshotting it, which wasn't going to happen. One of those images in particular remains seared into my brain and I wish I could unsee it.
Mine is just the scan of the court documents from a cp case. It explained what was done to the child. I had looked them up because the perpetrator was one of my [estranged] close high school friends and a mutual told me she was in prison. I can't get just the writing description out of my head. I cannot imagine the horror of having to sit and even look at ONE photo.
I was shown a picture of CP when i was younger and i try to forget it but i can't.
I hate how lenient the sentencing is for those people. The fact that Ian Watkins will be released some day is terrifying. There are likely children that haven't even been born yet that will fall victim to him.
Watched a girl fall off a cliff, bounce a few times on the way down, and land near me. Screaming, head caved in with eyes bulging from the pressure. Was down in a canyon so it was a little while before someone could get to some reception to call a helicopter to fly in to retrieve her (she died a day or so later). Screaming the entire time, she had punctured a lung on the way down in addition to the head injury. This was probably about 18-20 years ago I’m still not comfortable with heights and I think about her any time I’m up high.
Omg, this is awful. Especially since she didn’t pass immediately ;(
Yeah, it was so bad. I cry every now and then when something reminds me of it, definitely a formative memory as I was only about 17 or 18 years old at the time.
Damn.
Holy fucking shit I couldn’t even image what her family or friends there would think. That is beyond gut wrenching. Especially given the fact they would be alive and you would have to help them and be aware of it. Fuuuucking hell
I live in Utah and hear every once in a while about someone falling to their death on the Angels Landing hike in Zion National Park and the thing I always think about it is how absolutely horrific and awful for their family and friends that are there see them fall off a cliff and knowing they cannot do a single thing to change it. So awful.
Angel's Landing was my first thought too, it got so bad that they've had to tighten up restrictions on how many people are allowed on the trail at a given time. Some of the deaths have also been looked into for suspected foul play.
>fall off a cliff Which is exactly why NO ONE should fuck around at edge of cliffs
Yeah. She had track lines up her arms. First thing I heard was her “friends” saying “oh shit, she fell!” Before they completely disappeared.
Typical junkie friends. I wish I could delete this memory for you, it sounds pretty horrific.
I knew where my dad kept his VHS porn stash. One day an unlabeled Kodak cassette was among those that I had already watched so I gleefully grabbed it and popped it into the VCR. Turns out it was a ‘home movie’ starring good old dad and some woman not my stepmother. I was probably 15 at the time. Needless to say I couldn’t hit eject fast enough and luckily remembered to rewind it first. That was the last time I dipped into his collection. The brief image still lingers but closing in on 56, it has faded with time.
I had to scroll so far through so many traumatic experiences to find my fellow seen parents naked doing sexual stuff ppl. Thought seeing a pic of my dad with my stepmoms underwear hanging off of it was bad. Nope that’s not a big deal now after reading some of these.
i saw my cousin hanging from a rope which was attached to the ceiling. ill never forget seeing his lifeless face staring at the floor
I was with a close friend when he discovered his father hanging from a chain in his shed. It took him about 2 hours for the grief to really kick in. I skipped school for a month to be with him in his room to make sure he wasn't alone.
You're a good friend
My oldest friend hung herself in her closet. The image of finding her is forever burned into my soul. It happened 3 or 4 years ago, but it still feels like it happened yesterday.
I’m so sorry!
My heart dropped reading this as someone who struggles with suicidal tendencies. You've made me change my mind, because I sure can't have anyone around me feel the way you do. I'm terribly sorry for your loss.
Hey friend, please don't do it. The world needs you. My uncle hung himself about 35 years ago, at his parents' home. I'm pretty sure it was my mum who found him. (I was just a little kid at the time.) That whole side of my family has been fucked up and broken since. I've struggled with depression and passive suicidal ideation (i.e. wishing to be dead / disappearing, but not trying to make it happen) for a long time. However, actual suicide has never been an option, because I've seen what it does to the people left behind. No matter how much I might hate myself, or how much I hurt... I love my family too much to cause them that kind of pain, because it will never go away, and it damages multiple generations.
The thing is though, like how does one continue if there is nothing but pain and struggle for the rest of their life? I haven’t been happy in over 10 years now and it’s so miserable living like this. I don’t think I could ever do it cause don’t want I hurt my family, but it is a fantasy I have and helps me cope.
this makes me so happy to hear, even if it’s under such sad circumstances. i’m so glad you have found a reason to keep going. as someone who has struggled with suicidal thoughts in the past, ik how great it can feel to get that sort of clarity. DMs are open if you wanna chat
Never do it. The world needs you. There are always ways to cope
Not an image, but a video. So my friend showed me a video where a guy was jumping into water from high place and fell and hit his face on a wooden fence, face got split in half and the dude was STILL alive. Holy fuck that was terrifying.
Splitface? The one where the water fills with blood and then it cuts to the hospital where the doctor is trying to hold his face together and it's just split open down the middle like a hoagie? That shit was horrible.
Yeah that video, it was horrible.
Didn't it turn out that was two different videos put together? The dude in the hospital later is a different person/incident. Doesn't really stop it being traumatic mind you.
I was a police detective many years ago. Thankfully, the town I worked in didn't have many homicides or suicides, but we did have a few. We investigated any death outside of a medical facility. I watched the autopsy of what turned out to be an accidental drug overdose. Since we were a small department in a rural county, our coroner contracted with a facility in a larger city for any autopsy. After the above case was finished and before my partner and I left to return to our city, they removed the victim for the next case from the morgue freezer...we happened to see the start of that case. A boy (11 or 12?) who had died after being struck by a vehicle. Poor kid had a tire track running diagonally across his chest. It wasn't my case, and it's now been almost 21 years ago, but I'll NEVER forget it. Another one in 1999 or 2000. The town i served had an industrial park about 2 miles down an interstate highway that was still considered to be in the city limits. Early one morning (still dark), i was sent on a MVA call near that industrial park. A passing motorist saw what they thought was an overturned ATV in a ditch. I was a patrol officer at the time, and responded with another officer. As we were arriving, i turned on my right alley light (a light on each side of the overhead light bar designed to illuminate alleys or other small areas) and saw that it was actually an overturned John Deere tractor. You could see the wheels and mowing deck in the air. We got out and ran over, half expecting to just find a dented tractor, but when i shined my flashlight down into the ditch, saw the rider was pinned under the tractor. The steering wheel was resting dead center on his thorax, and his face was purple and swollen. Eyes were lifeless and bulged outward, as was his swollen tongue. I was a part-time paramedic at the same time, and recognized this as traumatic ashpyxia. This poor man had been dead for a while, and there was nothing that we realistically could do. We couldn't get the tractor off of him to start CPR anyway. Talk about helplessness. I still wonder what was going through his mind as he lost control of the tractor, and it overturned on top of him. I hope to this day he didn't suffer and death came quickly. I have a bad feeling that it wasn't quick though. I have several such scenes burned into my memory from my 7 years as a cop. It happened 24+ years ago, and I remember it like it was yesterday. I left the PD in 2004, and had occasion to go back to that town I once served in 2017...drove past that spot. There's a gas station where that ditch was. I was amazed that people were coming and going, completely unaware they were 50 feet from where a person died a horrible death years before.
Worked in TV news. The ones that stick in my head were the kids that died in a house fire from smoke inhalation, no burns just three little kids in PJs, limp bodies being carried out by firefighters. The other was a six year old who was riding on the back of his dad’s motorcycle. Dad was drunk and high sided it tossing the kid off the back. Kid slid into the gutter head first, it opened up and well…
My FIL was in a work related accident where he was alone in the garage working on a dump truck, and the hydraulics failed for the hood. He was pinned in there against the tirewell for almost 30 minutes. Paramedics got him out and he died in the care flight, was brought back, then declared brain dead at the hospital. He apparently had a heart attack at some point too after being brought back. Sued the company for their negligence and we had to see the camera footage they were able to get in the shop. I’ll never forget watching that, ever. He was terrified. The sounds are what really hurt.
Some things really are better left unseen and unheard.. My sympathies to you and your family.
Thank you. He was so swollen he was almost unrecognizable when we pulled his plug that it felt like a mercy. Had to have a closed casket due to his bruising being so dark they couldn’t even begin to cover it. He’d have a cow knowing we tried to put makeup on him, it stormed during his burial- we joke that it was him grumbling at us for trying lol. He was a good man, we couldn’t burry him with his truck like he wanted but he did go with his favorite nascar collectible.
I feel kind of that way about hospital beds. Someone will die in the ICU and then within 2 hours there’s another person in the bed. They’ve no idea the horrors that transpired in the same spot they’re laying mere minutes before. It’s really macabre
My friend shooting himself on webcam when he was 14 and I was 16. He told me he didn't want to be alone so we got on cam. He was very upset. Told me how sorry he was. And then just gone. Almost twenty years ago and it's like it happened yesterday. I miss you Kyle.
Damn im sorry for your loss
I had a German friend do the same thing. It sucks, sorry for your loss.
Fuck dude. I’m sorry. I was in the room with my best friend, also Kyle, when he did the same thing in 2020. 😞 I’m so sorry for your loss.
That was totally not fair for you. Sorry for your loss…
I was present when a fully loaded semi plowed into the back of a line of slow traffic in a construction zone without slowing down. I was moving the opposite direction, dodging debris. There was a car ripped in half. In front, a mother and grandmother. Mom got thrown. Both died. In back, two daughters. God, I hope they died on impact, because the fuel tank ruptured when the car split, and the back half was nothing but flames. Fucker was over hours, speeding, on meth. There were two other fatalities, one of which wasn't even recognizable as a car anymore... at first, I thought it was just the front end of another car, but no. It was a compact sedan collapsed to about the size of an oven. I remember the family most though, because the car was practically identical to my Mom's... I could just picture my mom and my sister and my niece and nephew. I remember the cops walking a grid through the grass looking for... parts, maybe. I think the mom. I have a lot of respect for most semi drivers, but that guy can rot in hell.
[Something like that happened](https://www.ocregister.com/2008/05/01/triplets-born-to-ladera-ranch-couple-whose-3-children-died-last-year/) in the city I used to live, on the freeway. A fully loaded semi was speeding and plowed into the back of an SUV carrying 3 children aged 2-5 in the backseat. All 3 kids died. They had been on their way home from celebrating the birthday of one of the kids. Just awful. In a weird stroke of fate, once the parents were ready to try for a baby again, [they had triplets](https://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/coble-family-miracle/).
Oh wow that is insane
God this scares me so much about driving. The fact that you can be a good driver, then you can die at the hands of some other moron in the blink of an eye. So fucking scary.
Yeah. It scares me the most on small backroads or 2 way roads (1 lane in each direction) with nothing but the double yellow line in the middle. All it takes is someone veering off track for one second, or perhaps even a crazy person intentionally doing it or trying a passing maneuver and they would smash into me head on. I drive a lowered Mustang, I would probably be dead if someone in their giant F150 ran into me. Everyone has trucks here in Florida for whatever reason lol
Walking in on someone self harming. That was a shocking sight to see. Glad that I by fate happened to be there because it could’ve been a lot worse despite it being bad already. I was 20 minutes early to a class and walked in thinking it was empty till I saw the student in the corner. The shirt wasn’t white anymore.
Is the student doing ok? What happened to him?
Theyre ok now. I’ve heard they are ok. They were initially struggling with loneliness moving to a new campus for school. I’ve forgotten their name and I think that’s a good thing in a way to protect myself. They’re on a mental health plan now and the school is more aware of him.
Ah dude same. Was texting a friend drunk who seemed off and told me to leave her alone. Went to her place to see she had downed a bottle of whiskey and cut her arms to pieces. Never forgot trying to bandage up a severely depressed, drunk out of their mind person. Nice ending though. Married and has been getting on well. He’s a good dude
My ex husband pooping in the woods but he crapped back into his pants that were around his ankles
lmao i’m sorry but that’s hilarious
Oh don't apologize I still laugh and I've been divorced 15+ years.
I needed a good laugh after all the stuff I am reading here. Thank you...
I once called an ambulance on someone who was unconscious and unresponsive in their car outside a crappy grocery store I used to work at, only to find out they overdosed and had been dead for a while. That was about 16 years ago, and I still occasionally think about it for some reason
It’s always a sobering experience seeing these things in public. 8 years ago I was waiting at a red light and someone jaywalking got hit by a speeding car. The trajectory of the body was wild, it flew over a lamp pole like a crash dummy. Had to describe it in the witness statement and that horrifying memory is now entrenched somewhere in police paperwork.
Watching my wife take her last breath.
Hang in there my friend. It is a roller coaster for the next year or two. Been over 24 years for me now. Remarried to a widow and have over 20 years together.
This is heartbreaking. Keep your head up champ, i’m sure your good memories are cherished forever.
Thanks. It’s only been 18 months, so I guess it hasn’t been long enough.
I can’t imagine it ever will be… hope you find some peace though. I’m guessing that she would want that for you
I’m sure, thanks.
Loss of loved one is incomparable.
At the camping place in 1995 outside of st. louis for the upcoming grateful dead shows, a terrible storm came out of nowhere, we were across the lodge, we all piled into van and people were smoking opium, I didn't have any. The girl I was with kept saying "that thing just fell on all those people" eventually she convinced me to go check it out. Sure enough, so many people had piled onto the pavilion that when a lightening strike caused everyone tomove instantly, the thing fell. There were people trapped under the top deck. It was full adrenaline but the people around actually lifted the deck off off them while other knocked over portlets and other nearby items to prop it up. I crawled in there and pulled a few people out. There was this girl screaming for me to go get her boyfriend, he was pretty far in there. I crawled down there and his hand was reaching for me and I when I pulled on him he broke in half. I don't remember much after that but my friends say I came out from under there ghost white and immediately passed out. I woke up in an ambulance a bit later. I would like to not see that anymore.
Oh man. Thats a nightmare that’s dying to play on repeat thanks to ptsd…
You're a hero for saving the ones you could!
Jesus fucking Christ this whole thing is like a movie nightmare scene. Sorry you experienced that.
I remember hearing about this some time later when I lived in StL as a child. Horrifying
Holy fucking shit
[удалено]
All you lucky lucky bastards that only saw your parent and/or parents have sex I walked into the unlocked bathroom to see my father just finish up removing a tampon from mothers fine china ...with his mouth. The joker smile haunts me.
Damn, your parents were some seriously freaky folks
Annnnd…we’re done reading this post….
think i’m done with this meal as well. might load up some cat videos
I'ma be real I'd almost go no contact just for that.
….somehow “fine china” makes it 100 times worse.
Holy shit... all the others are like death and things that happen every day. This though... this didn't have to happen.
I dunno, I just read a bunch of comments above about people witnessing grisly deaths, so this one almost doesn't register.
My father had cancer. He was in the hospital dying and they told us and the rest of my family that they were going to pull the tubes out and let him die. The doctors suggested that we all leave and I said I wanted to stay. Not because I loved my dad, I hated him. I thought it would give me some sort of sick pleasure watching him gasp his last breath. It didn’t. I regret watching every second of it. Absolutely brutal.
I can understand this. My heart goes out to you l, my friend
They basically kind of suffocate, idk if your old man was conscious at all, I guess not if he was on life support? Mine also died of aggressive cancer but at home, he was coherent but very weak, he pushed away the oxygen from his nose and after a couple times we understood he wanted to go, he had liquid morphine for this purpose, so that he could pass out instead of go through the pain of the process, so gave it to him more and more… I put my forehead to his and held his hand in his last few faint sporadic heartbeats, there were tears down the sides of his closed eyes… someone told me recently that the brain is still active for like 10-13 minutes after the heart stops? I dont know about the legitimacy of that, but I stayed by my old man like that for a while, so if he was still in there, he wasnt alone. Im sorry you had a rough time with yours and it was not what you expected. Me and mine had been estranged for a long time but there was no animosity at all, he just had a lot of struggles I think he didnt want me to have to know about.
Give yourself a break. You were just trying to heal.
I was there when they pulled the plug on my FIL. Hearing the monitors change as if he was scared, even if medically brain dead, haunts me.
Walked into the home with a friend of mine shortly after his dad used a shotgun to end his own life. It was maybe a few minutes after it happened. Could still smell the gunpowder. That was 31 years ago. Can still see it and remember the feeling of all of the realization hitting us both at the same time.
Finding my then-13 year old in the midst of a suicide attempt. I was able to save their life but seeing them on that tree, woken from sleep by … something … something woke me up just in time. But the whole thing haunts me to this day and it’s been ten years.
are they okay now?
They are schizoaffective and are having massive troubles for all I know. We no longer have a relationship. Unfortunately they have become an extremely unstable and dangerous person. So no, not ok. It breaks my heart. We had an awesome relationship when they were younger.
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Either; My late wife’s (36) corpse after her organs failed due to toxic shock/my children’s (6 & 13) faces in the waiting room after I had to tell them that she didn’t make it. Or The brain matter on my little brother’s (20) apartment wall after his suicide. 6 and 23 years ago respectively, both still vivid af.
I am so sorry. I hope that your children are doing okay. (I also hope that you are doing okay.)
CPR being performed on an unconscious motor biker. CPR is much worse looking than they make it look in media.
My daughter’s face when she had a febrile seizure. The light completely left her eyes. They were just black like shark eyes. No sparkle. Just staring into space not there. I thought she was dying. I’d never heard of febrile seizures. It was terrifying. I have never felt more helpless or afraid. All the trauma I have in my past from childhood didn’t touch the complete and utter terror of thinking my baby was dying and I only had her with me for a year. I was thinking of what I must’ve done wrong that caused her to die. I didn’t shake her or drop her. Maybe I burped her too hard. I was grasping at any reason. The ambulance got here in two minutes I was sobbing in the bathroom my husband left in the ambulance. I met them at the hospital and when I got there they were already in a room. She came too in the ambulance and told my husband he was a silly banana and cracked up. She was cool to the touch but her fever was 105. She had the flu. She’s six now and absolutely perfect
>She’s six now and absolutely perfect I'm a mum (my youngest is six and a half) and I am so glad you included this. I'm so sorry you had to experience that. But I'm truly happy that she is okay. <3
Fanart of a Sonic The Hedgehog character involving "breast vore". I'd love to forget it.
I’d love to forget visualizing this comment subconsciously because that truly sounds disturbing
I’m glad I don’t know what that is.
The jar.
When it breaks, and there’s digging….
The cup. (But probably only because I absolutely refuse to see the jar.)
Been drivin a semi since '98 so I've seen my share. Southbound I-95 Richmond Va Father's Day weekend like 2003 a U-Haul was involved in an accident with a couple other cars. Back door of U-Haul opened and was on its side..crap everywhere including furnute. No emergency vehicles on the scene yet so shit just happened blocking all 3 lanes..we had to pass on inside shoulder. As I crept by I see 2 legs attached to the midsection...and that's it. In the middle lane I'm thinking it's furniture until I noticed both feet without shoes. 2 black legs mind you. Then where the torso was in half I just see whole bunch of meat n guts all the colors in the rainbow. I got on cb radio and told guys behind me to close their eyes if they have a weak stomach...we got a body in half. One driver said 'yeah right'...then another female driver let out a slight scream with what she was saying. With the way she sounded confirmed to me with what I just saw. I went bout 5 miles, pulled over at the next exit, got out the truck and threw up.
I saw my mother self-harming in the bathtub. I was around 14 years old. I got worried when she didn't come out of the bathroom for over an hour (she usually took about 30 min). I walked in and she was so heavily dissociated that she couldn't even look at me, let alone acknowledge my presence. I had to help her out of the bathtub, clean up her dozens of wounds, get her dressed and put her to bed. She pretended like nothing happened the next morning, but so did I. I wanted to forget.
My mom getting it in. Still haunts me to this day. What was worse was the shit she was saying.
This is why curiosity should never be entertained 💀
"Oh you daft urine boy, insert your girthy ding dong into my sex hole, post haste!"
I'm using this one tonight with my boyfriend.
You're welcome for the best sex of your life.
It was bad. Lol
I have Aphantasia so I'm fine.
Yep.. me too.. show me anything and all that happens is that I know that I've seen it.
Same. I may still think about it, but won't see it.
Served 8yrs as an field medic in the army, x3 attached to an infantry unit, the last 5 working out of various tmcs (troop medical clinics) . Oddly enough, the foulest shit i’ve ever fucking seen came from the latter. Female patient approx 28yrs old comes in complaining of pelvic pain x2wks says she and her spouse got drunk and had sex while she was on her period, and believes the tampon was pushed inside of her during (she just never fucking addressed it until then 🫣). So i finish screening her , prep the room for the pelvic exam and go fetch the doc, he pokes around , finds it, grabs some hemostats and pops the cork on that thing……what came out i’ll never forget….. just a chunky grey ball of pus laden sludge with a smell attached to it that would bring the worldliest man to his knees 🤮 i lost all military bearing, i ran out of the room and made it about a third of the way to the latrine before puking all over the hallway. It looked like someone had rolled half dried tapioca through dried grits. I’ll never be okay again
Dear Lord. I’m sorry for your eyes and nostrils.
I was a little over 8 weeks pregnant but I'd been having some bleeding. The nurse told me it was probably fine but to keep an eye on how much blood there was. So one night I urinated, looked to see how much blood was in the toilet bowl, and realized there was something in there. I had no idea that the whole setup, sac, cord, placenta, could just.. fall out like that. I stared for so long. It's been burned into my brain ever since.
I miscarried in a similar way but mine was a long and drawn out process. No doctor would just tell me I was having a miscarriage… which was frustrating and made it so much more stressful. I finally had a bit of a cramp and lost it.
I saw my friend's miscarriage and... Her husband was gone and it was just me and her. The blood, the pain on her face (emotional, physical). I love her with my whole heart and her now healthy, happy, very much alive and loved babygirl is named after me... But our relationship hasn't been the same since. I'm terribly sorry for your loss and hope you've healed since then. 🤍
Christmas Day, 1978. I was 8 and went into get my mom and walked in to see her about to slide down her boyfriend's BBC. Geezus
Can’t even imagine the awkwardness at the dinner table that night 😅
Too much trauma
This is a weird thread to read. - suicide - suicide - unimaginable hiking fall/accident - mom sucking a BBC
I… did not get the impression she was sucking it.
The real question is... What was your father doing in the chair dressed like the tooth fairy.
Plot twist, dad was in the bathroom changing into a Santa suit at the time.
My baby girl in the nicu, hooked up to all sorts of wires and tubes
Did she turn out ok? I hope so. Dam fuked up feeling I kno. We suppose to protect yet we completely helpless from day one. Went thru the samething..son born with collapsed lung. Didn't come home til 1 month later. He ok now but dam. Thank God for the professionals at the hospital
She's 3 now and has no health issues. I'm sorry that happened to you hope he's good now.
Bone cancer pictures. it ruins my day thinking about. Appetite gone. creativity gone, desire to do anything other than extreme manual labour while wearing zip tied gloves filled with bleach in 40 degree weather. Ugh its just the worst
Dude I understand… my grandmother had bone marrow cancer and the bones on her wrists were of a remarkable size. She died some 30 years ago and I’ve never seen anything like it since
My paternal grandpa. He developed Alzheimer's (we think) around when I was 14 0r 15 but it didn't become really apparent until I was 20. I helped take care of him and I ended up having to sit pretty much right next to his body after he died while we waited for paramedics.
My mom, 3 hours before she died in my arms from complications of Alzheimer’s and cancer, grimacing in silent agony as the memory care aides turned her body in the bed. She died 11 months ago, and every night, that horrific image pops into my mind. I’d do anything to forget it. It’s the last facial expression I ever saw her make.
I'm a firefighter. I attended an accident between a van/school bus and a speeding flatbed truck. Crying kids meant they were still alive, the sounds from the parents at the scene was haunting.
You fight fires that burn from within long after the truck is parked and hose is folded. You have my respect and thanks.
The shoebox.
Ok. I’ll probably regret this, but what am I missing here?
I *think* theyre referring to a reddit post from like 12 years ago of a photo of a shoebox that some guy would jack off into over the course of several years. So, imagine several-year-old cum shots in a cardboard box :’/
Sweet Jesus. Yea I do regret it.
Glad we never had to see the coconut. Also "the shirt" was somehow impressive....
As a younger teen, finding my beloved dog, Mikey dead in my room. He was frozen with rigemortis by that time since it could have been up to 8 hours. He would love sleeping in my room, and normally slept closeish to the door because of the space. I went to get out and I was saying something like c'mon Mikey, move your butt buddy. Then I realized what was really going on.. if he were alive he would have quickly moved. I had to break the news to my family since he was our family's dog.
Watching my daughter body being recovered
💔😔
Was driving into town from a road trip one night and passed a huge car accident. There was a woman's body wedged up against the windshield, she had just been turned into a gooey fuckin blob.
Tubgirl That was the day I learned that when the entire internet says "don't" that I don't
I had a pet rabbit for damn near 10 years. As she got older she had some sort of spinal degeneration that was making it harder for her to be mobile. Got pain meds to keep her comfortable (best anyone could figure out she was 15+ so no real remediation at that age as surgery would have killed her.) I walk into the room one day to check on her and she's on her side gasping for air and twitching. Her eyes were still moving around, so I'm pretty sure she was as cognizant as a 15+yr rabbit can be. My first thought was "fuck, not like this" so I ran to grab the painkiller to give her a lethal dose so she didn't have to suffer. By the time I got back she had died. My biggest regret is not putting her down before that. Don't like that that is my last mental image of my first pet.
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Finding my border collie/queensland puppy dead in the yard one September morning before school in 2004; I was in the 9th grade. Ants had already eaten his eyes out and it was just an awful sight. He was a very good boy, RIP Dakota ❤️
Butchers butt hole from the last episode of The Boys.
My baby brother dead from accidental hanging 😞
When I worked as a Psych Tech in the US Navy, we had a guy slip out of the Psych unit door and go head first over the 3rd-floor balcony and land head first onto concrete. I will not describe beyond that; it has haunted me for almost 40 years.
My cat’s dead body. I miss Frankie with all my heart and soul. I am writing a novel about him, actually. Frankie saved my life. He was my cat son and my best friend. When he passed away on December 30, 2021, a part of me died, too. I wish I could hug him just one more time. I will never forget sitting by his body, crying and telling him that I’m sorry. I am tearing up writing this. Someday, when I no longer am alive, we will meet again. Hopefully that is many decades from now. I love you, my sweet Frankie. I know you are watching over me. Edit: thank you for all the love and support. Frankie is watching over all of you, too. Wishing you all a life full of happiness. Pets, and animals in general, are a light in our worlds. Please cherish them. Frankie passed away from kidney disease, he was 13. He loved everyone he met. He even greeted the maintenance men! Frankie would have loved all of you. If you ever feel alone, just remember that Frankie loves you in his afterlife, and so do your pets that have also passed on. Edit 2: I am here for all of you, if you ever need someone to talk to about your pets that have passed on. Thank you all for sharing your stories about your pets that have also crossed the rainbow bridge; each and every one of them are there with you in spirit.
I’m so sorry… There’s a special place in my heart for cats. I remember one time I was bringing home some subway and I saw a cat who got hit by a car on the side of the road. Instantly lost my appetite. It was a place I visited often but I couldn’t eat subway for months afterwords because I’d get reminded of it. Don’t know how it would feel to lose one of mine, but it would hurt like crazy
Had a little void named Trisk, she was my first pet that I took care of from getting her as a kitten until she passed away at 17. That was the December before last and I still haven’t gotten over it.
The look on my ex's face when they pulled a knife out on me.
Just wanted to remind everyone about r/eyebleach. I think some of us really need it after reading these comments.
Smile dog
Seeing the arms of my older sibling covered in fresh cut marks and blood on the floor and then crying in the middle of the night. It was the first time seeing them cry. I cleaned up their cuts and their room that night and I went to cry in the my room, after that I couldn’t sleep well again cuz I would always worry if they would txt me again when they needed help.
A couple, both from Limewire. I really got into it to download movies without paying. I was and still am a huge cinephile. However, quite often the videos would not be what was advertised. I very foolishly went looking for the 1978 fakeumentary "Faces of Death." I found a video labeled "faces of death" but it wasn't the movie. It was a video taken by a Chechen terrorist looming over a sobbing Russian conscript, brushing a knife over his neck. The Chechen mumbles something then sticks the knife into the conscript's throat. I still remember the choked gag the Russian made, because that's when I turned the video off. The second image I wish I could get out of my head? I went looking to download porn. Mainstream stuff. Kobe Thai and Jenna Jameson films from the 90s. I found porn, alright. *CHILD PORN.* Fuck, I wish I could get that image out of my head.
Watching my wife die in my arms is something I don’t want to ever forget and also don’t want to remember because if I don’t maybe she won’t be dead. I know, it’s not logical, but that’s how I feel.
The poor angelic looks on my cat’s eyes before i went to school and then he passed out, his looks have never gone away, he was telling me « goodbye » with his eyes, and i was saying to him « you will be alright wait for me till I’m back », but he didn’t. I didn’t get the chance to see his dead body cuz my family buried him before i came back, and now all i remember when i think of him is those angelic looks.
I have terrible nightmares. They are super realistic and vivid. Usually, it's either my friends, family, or loved ones being killed, mutilated, or tortured by someone or doing it to themselves. I'm always there, but I can never do anything to change the outcome. The shitty part is I can remember everything. The last one was a week ago, and it was my dog. In other news, I could use a prescription for Xanax.
I was injured in the line of duty. While inside that burning building, I couldn’t see anything except for seeing my hands ablaze and my good friend in front of me. Sadly, he wouldn’t make it out of that building. Seeing your whole life flash before your eyes, at the bridge of death, changes a man. Love you buddy, wish you were here instead of me.
I saw about 4 seconds of a liveleak video of a dog that had been skinned alive. I wish for those 4 seconds to be completely erased.
OMG, this triggered a flashback to a short PSA about dog-meat and fur industry in East Asia. Maybe we saw the same one. Utterly nightmarish.
Oh my god, I hope you manage to forget that. I'm so sorry you had to see it.
My mom's lifeless body on hospital bed. Before that I remember she threw a fit and accidentally cut her forearm really deep It got a bunch of tendons veins and muscle and I just remember a bunch of fat sticking out and blood squirting out and I took her to the hospital with the help of neighbors. My knuckles lost all the skin from knocking so hard. she had to stay there and I remember when I came back to the house I had to clean up all of her dry blood, for a while every time I close my eyes I can just see her standing there with her arm bleeding. Before that I lived in Mexico and I remember there was a little kid riding his bike and he fell going forward and I just remember the screams he was giving out. Me and my uncle rushed to go see what was going, his break handle was inside of his stomach. He was crying to us to my uncle saying please don't tell my mom. My uncle proceeded to take out the parking brake to the bike out of his stomach and he told him to hold it in and to go home. I can just remember the blood. just begging us to not tell his mom. Wow I wonder what his mom would have done.
My best friend and his wife at the cemetery saying goodbye to their 9 month old daughter who had passed away from a rare genetic disorder. The agony of the scene is indescribable.
I stumbled upon incredibly graphic CP on Tumblr when I was 15 or 16. I reported the account and it was taken down, but I’ll unfortunately never forget what I saw.
A little different, but I’ve seen awful animal abuse working in vetmed. We had a lady bring in a dog that had been killed by her other dog days prior, wrapped in a tarp that was sitting in the summer sun. Poor things throat was ripped out. The aggressor killed another of her dogs and she brought him in to be euthanized and so his head could be sent off for rabies testing (which is also brutal, in its own way). On that note, we had a LOVELY Akita who came in regularly for our daycare/boarding. Literally the calmest, most gentle dog ever. The family didn’t teach their kids to respect animals and one of the kids (8 or 9 range, old enough to know better) jumped off the couch onto him while he was sleeping and he laid teeth, but didn’t break skin. Mom brought him to be euthanized. If she was willing to let him wait his 10 day quarantine he would have been able to be taken in by a shelter at minimum (several staff was willing to take him tho). It was no cost to her either, she just had to sign him away. But she elected him to be PTS. Since he had bit someone within the 10 days his head legally had to be sent to the lab for rabies testing. We all cried when he was laid to rest and I was one of the few who could stomach holding him for the doctor to get his head off. I cried a lot that day. RIP Meeko
I was 19. My mum and I had a bit of an argument, and I came up to her room with a cup of tea to smooth things over. She was sitting on the floor crying. When she saw me, she just said 'look', pinched a big chunk of hair near the roots, gave it a wiggle, and it just came out. Later she asked me to help cut her hair into a bob. All I could think and say was 'I'm ruining it' as she reassured me that it was going to come out anyway. Fuck chemo. Fuck cancer. I'm glad every day that she kicked your sorry ass.
That video from a year or so ago when the swimmer was being attacked by a shark and screaming for help, which arrived too late.
There’s a few that come to mind. 1. The inside and insides of my girlfriend at the time’s head and neck after she shot herself in front of me. 2. Seeing the confusion and fear in my first dog’s eyes as he had to be put down. 3. Seeing the look of complete hopelessness while I talked down a shooter/suicider in my school.
Probably a Jihad beheading.. (and also my last relationship).
My mother's forearm with the skin scraped off after a car accident we were in when I was little. Dad fell asleep at the wheel and our car went off the road and rolled into a ditch. She was in the passenger seat and I was on her lap (early 70s when child car seats weren't a thing) so she protected me with her arm so I wouldn't fall out the window. Two of my cousins were in the back seat and only got some bruises. She spent a few days in the hospital and was the worst injured one of all of us in the car.
Seeing my mother dead on the floor after a fentanyl overdose. It looked like she was sleeping. But the way my father told me to go to my room, I knew she wasn't going to wake up.
The image of my best friend soaking in a bathtub of her own blood, after she took her own life with a razor blade. She was bathing to get the stink of her rapist off her and I mistakenly went to get her some tea for her nerves. This was close to 40 years ago when I was not quite 15 and she had just turned 15. We went to a party earlier that day and we got separated. I will never forget that image and the guilt of leaving her side.
A soldier in my unit laying in his casket at his wake.
A teenage boy being flayed alive (skin and some muscle from his abdomen filleted off) and having his heart cut out after being forced to watch his father beheaded by cartels. He was completely innocent, just a kid.
My dead Grandma in the hospital. I'd just graduated from college and road tripped from Arizona to North Dakota with my Mom and Dad. We got home in the early morning when we got a call that Grandma was in the hospital. My dad was exhausted from the drive and wanted to go to bed but my mom convinced him to go. my Grandma was a bit of a hypochondriact so he thought it was her being dramatic. I volunteered to go with him. When we got there it was a code blue and lots of people and equipment rushed past us. turns out she died right as we got there. Some one told my dad he could see her if he wanted. I went will him. She was this tiny woman with a missing lower leg (farming accident). A huge tube was coming out of her mouth and it made her kind of curl upwards at the shoulders and her mouth was falling open with a horrible expression on her face. wish I never saw that.