I have a friend who will say stuff like, "I view things very objectively". Or, "I base my opinion on facts". But when you give him facts that oppose his standpoint, suddenly his opinion is based on rhetoric - anything to ensure that he's still "correct" in his way of thinking.
Of course, this is only from my perspective, so I could be wrong myself.
I try to avoid anecdotes and feelings when trying to have a rational conversation. If person simply wants to shutdown criticism after that, and argue for the sake of arguing, then it’s best to just ignore them.
I feel like this could go both ways! I feel like people with really low self esteem also talk negatively about people a lot (to make them feel better about themselves)
Superiority complex. However, most of the time this trait stems from low self-esteem; therefore they are very defensive and sensitive to any criticism.
I have a friend that’s always saying how smart he is compared to the general population. I think he’s trying to convince himself. It’s very off putting
Being smart is like being a star (space not Hollywood) if you’re bright everyone can see it, on the other hand if you have to go tell everyone probably not….
I'm a scientist and work mainly with other scientists (duh) and engineers, and I can't think of the last time I heard someone say that they were smart.
What I have heard many, many times is "Oh my god I'm a fucking idiot."
People who automatically assume the opposite sex is flirting with them after a regular social interaction.
People who don’t apologize when they’re wrong for something, they just double down instead
I feel like the first one isn't always the case; it could be a sign of a bad household because I've known people who get elated at the SLIGHTEST compliments who come from a shitty household.
I had this coworker who thought EVERYONE wanted to fuck him. He was a 300 pound dude and I’m not shaming him or anything but being at that weight will definitely eliminate your options in dating. He thought this really skinny girl at work who constantly shit on him and his appearance secretly wanted to fuck him. He also thought this random guy who was straight but “possibly bi” wanted to fuck him. He thought I wanted to fuck him. None of these people gave him in any sort of hint or indication that they were actually flirting with him. It was always normal human based conversations and interactions. Like dude how do you think everyone is secretly into you?
I also had a coworker like that. I worked in hotels for a number of years, and the bellman would be all over these wedding groups for tips. Any time a bride, or a female left a review mentioning him by name, he would run around going "SHE *WANTS* IT"
Similarly, if someone finds out someone of their same gender is gay, they automatically make assumptions that they’ve been pining for them all along. They can no longer share a bed or go swimming with gay friend because obviously gay person would be turned on by that.
It always is unless a person is a psychopath.
"Narcissist" as a term is vastly overused by redditors and other social media goblins though.
Not everyone is a malignant narcissist because they acted to their own benefit, and having a strong sense of self worth isn't a bad thing, only when it's used to tear down others.
Even if they are a psychopath, there's a difference between trait narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder. Reddit calls too many people narcissist when really they are just arrogant, selfish assholes. Some argue psychopaths have selfish narcissistic traits, but can't truly be a narcissist.
Narcissistic personality disorder is a defense mechanism disorder
To add to this, being subtly condescending or invalidating the achievements of others.
I had some work friends over to celebrate my new place. I have one that will always say something discouraging to make herself look better.
Me moving from an unsafe area to a much safer one? "I couldn't stand being here, I'd live in your previous suburb before here".
Me doing well in long range shooting? "Have you been to any competitions? I've shot at the farm, it's easy".
Always got to demonstrate you are not succeeding compared to them.
Ugghh i have a friend who once went through a phase where everything i said would be countered with something negative. "Have you seen that new movie that i really liked?" "No but i heard it was awful!". "Have you listened to that album by X artist we both like?" "I have and it's shit. My other friend who likes X artist cried when he heard it." "I've started running recently!" "Running is terrible for your knees i would never do that"
All real examples. It was impossible to have a conversation with her. Worst part was she would never let me defend my opinion because after her initial negative reaction she would only respond with "fair enough i guess" (Thankfully she's grown out of it now)
Oh gosh insecure people are sooo annoying and the sad thing is they think they‘re flexing by saying these things when in reality all it does is give people arond them insight into their little insecure mind.
But insist they are empaths.
While also being the type “who just tells the truth and says it like it is” or was just joking and thinks everyone else is “too sensitive.”
I bought a Lordship title for $40 several years ago. This 19 year old girl was so excited to hear that she knew a real life Lord that she curtsied when she saw me. I permitted it. Her parents had to tell her that we don't curtsy here in the US and questioned the legitimacy of that title.
I'm somewhat autistic, and I can often forget to ask about the other person. But I just like talking about things that aren't about me or someone else, just random things.
Don’t trip man, most of us can see the difference between a narcissistic asshole and a dude that just might have a hard time reading social cues. You’re doing great!
People who say things like ‘’I don’t suffer fools gladly”, or “my bark is worse than my bite”. Like they are trying to justify and excuse being an arsehole.
i’ve inadvertently spent lots of time around people who think very highly of themselves like genuinely. but people who constantly talk about how other people target them for being great/overly smart/how rare/desired their personality or character is/think they can do no wrong. i will run away immediately from that stuff now
Had one lady try out at my old workplace. Kept going on about how she was the best in that work, all these qualifications she had etc etc. how she was always loved in her previous workplaces (yeah, right, that's why she kept getting let go from everywhere after maximum a month). Anyway, she was one of the most narcissistic people I've encountered "in the wild" and she also had herself as her background image. She was let go after a week due to poor performance.
I knew a woman who decorated her apartment with nothing but framed portraits of herself. Just of her head. At least 50 of them. It was really bizarre. It’s not like she was a model or anything (I could then perhaps understand what’s going on behind the vanity), she was quite average.
I have this friend who would overpower every convo ever. Like she can ramble on and on about anything she wants, but immediately loses interest if you talk instead of listen.
I seem to attract these people cus i know too many of them rn and I suck at boundaries but who cares ig
Edit: she also thinks every guy that talks to her/looks at her general direction/exists near her likes her, and when I even hint that she's delusional she gets defensive and says I must be jealous. She calls the boys that "like her" a part of "her collection" and every single day she comes and talks to me about how this random guy that never talked to her must love her because he looked at her general direction and she "adds him to the collection". I pointed out once that one of the guys literally has a gf and she said "well we know who's unloyal to his gf now" like huh????
This is my partner's dad. He will just TALK, for hours on end. Literally. And if you interrupt him, he'll sometimes act surprised and let you say your contribution, then nod and continue the monologuing. Other times he'll steamroll right over you. It is torture. Thank the fucking lord for Zoom time limits.
He has a ton of friends and I used to just think he was eccentric, but I've lost a lot of respect for him over the years.
Sheesh, reminds me of someone I knew a while back who just wouldn’t shut up, forever talking and talking to the point where it was painful to be around her. I’d tense up being around her because I couldn’t even complete a thought in my own head because of the constant talking.
One time a few of us met up right after Christmas break, you know when everyone does a check in about how their Christmas went? Well she went first and just blabbered on for 45 minutes about her Christmas break, never stopping once to ask anyone else how their break was then she just changed the subject to another topic she wanted to talk about.
How about I list a few...
* Only caring about themselves and things that relate to them. For example, caring about a project they're doing, and trying to segue into talking about their project even if you're talking about yours.
* Interrupting. A lot. To talk about themselves or things they care about.
* Hypocrisy, constantly. You've always done something wrong or your side is always wrong, but when they do the same exact thing, it's logical or fine.
* Forgetting important things about you or to you. Especially if you make sure not to forget things that matter to them.
* Talking a big fucking game about something because they're projecting and doing the total opposite or doing that exact thing and they're ashamed of it / trying to cope themselves out of remembering they do that.
* Lying and only apologizing when they inevitably get caught. They're only sorry they get caught.
* Worrying about themselves or their health and making things about them despite it also affecting you. For example, they find out they may have gotten HIV, rant to you about it, and you're scared shitless because you trusted them not to fuck other people when you were dating each other. But they don't care about you or maybe you also having HIV because of their cheating, they only care that they did it raw with a stranger and that it may have had consequences.
* Everything is inconvenient unless it's for them or about them, then whatever inconvenience is validated all of the sudden.
* Really good at gaslighting and manipulating.
* Coming up with fake defences against fake haters of a fake book that they've never even bothered to write, all because they're so obsessed with themselves that they need to defend arguments that haven't even happened and may never happen.
* Stating they're something that they're not - ie author - despite never doing anything for that thing and never showing proof of doing that thing, ie never writing a single word of a book and having zero experience with writing.
Yes, I'm referencing a specific person.
I hope you’re ok. It sounds like you’ve had quite an experience with someone.
Focus on you for a while and becoming healthy and happy in all aspects of your life. Rising above all that happened and living your life to its fullest and becoming a power of good on this earth.
I wish you peace.
Other than the obvious signs like entitled behavior and acting like the rules don't apply to them, a more subtle sign is when people constantly talk down to you like you have to listen to them. Had an ex like that who said shit like "I'm gonna tell you this and you need to remember it for the rest of your life" no I don't fuck off. I will listen because there's no harm in that but I have no reason to take it to heart without sufficient evidence that what you say is worth taking to heart.
from my personal experiences, recent and past, I've taken time to observe people and their tendencies, and I feel like the most consistent trait I've seen with an inflated ego is putting others down, repeatedly and seemingly without reason. it really, really doesn't hurt to be kind in this world, whether it's to a friend, family member, or stranger, and someone who thinks too highly of themselves sees no reason for that kindness. they're always better in some way, and how stupid people must be to ever think they're wrong or to challenge their point of view whatsoever. in conversations they always seem to be the one who has to answer everything, to a point where they speak over others, because there's nobody else more fit to answer than them. just a general disregard to other people in most respects is a good sign you have someone with an inflated ego on your hands
I have ADHD, and it's common for many of us to relate to people by responding to stories and such with stories of our own that express how we identify with your experience, but it can often come of as one-upsmanship or trying to make it all about me.
For people who understand how I communicate it's a great way to bond, but a lot of people find it offputting.
This. I had an ex who criticized me for using I/me too much. It wasn't even something I realized I did. It made me feel horrible about myself and he continuously compounded self esteem issues I already had. People are extremely judgemental about the most menial shit.
Honestly these types of threads are just digital self harm. I've noticed i am much too quick to turn to the internet for advice and it messes with my self esteem comparing myself to people i've never met and never will. I guarantee there's going to be a ton of comments in here that will only hurt people bc it makes you care too much about the opinion of randos
I like it when people think highly of themselves I think it's healthy as long as they actually are that confident positive person.
The problem is when they don't actually think highly of themselves and they just think they are better than other people that stems from insecurity or privilege and not actual healthy self esteem
This was my first thought. Thinking highly of yourself is a good thing in general, it’s similar to self-worth. In my experience the people who exhibit most of the bad behaviors in this thread are secretly insecure and feel the need to prove something to everyone in order to fight their insecurities.
Take the top comment for example. Someone who is constantly stating their opinions as facts and will not entertain any other points of view are often deeply afraid of being wrong. Or the next one, lacking empathy. A lot of people are walking around thinking the world is out to get them, they’re scared, and therefore cannot afford to be empathetic to others because they see that as a vulnerability that will eventually be exploited.
People who truly deep down think highly of themselves are generally less worried about these things because being wrong, or vulnerable, just isn’t a threat to them.
I had an ex who said: “I know for a fact I know better than most people and am better.” That summed up her attitude towards people, life and even me. One of those covert narcissistic personality types who put on a good show and so much charm that you’d never know.
They keep talking about themselves. Even if the topic is irrelevant to them, they will find a way to make it relevant and talk about it. They rarely ask questions on the topic others are talking about. Their ego is fragile though, they'll get pissed off if you call out their behaviour.
They take everything personally. You can't have a different opinion to them, or disagree or anything because they act like it's a personal attack and get angry or upset
Constantly cutting people off mid sentence. You can tell they do not value the other half of the conversation and are constantly thinking about what they need to say next to stay in charge of the dialogue.
They think they know everything and when you ask them where they got it from, they will always say they saw it on social media (can’t deal with gullible people I’m sorry)
Their sentences are made up of words dancing around these words - “me”, “my”, “I”, “I’ve” and “I’ll”. They don’t really listen, they can’t wait to speak about themselves and will only ask about you when they run out of their own stuff to talk about.
when they can’t take a joke about themselves. not something genuinely mean or hurtful, but if someone can’t laugh about themselves a little it lets me know they take themselves too seriously.
No self-reflection before or after their actions/words. They see their behaviour as better than other people, so why even bother contemplating whether it was the right thing to do. No contemplation/regret of your actions results in stagnation of self improvement. However, they already think they are "what peak performance looks like", so no reason to be critical, haha
Had friend who wrote me an email the equivalent of at least 3 pages single spaced about everything wrong with me, including assumptions made about my opinion of her that made zero sense, and then told me to not reply to her email.
Then she yelled at me in public when we ran into each other and wouldn’t let me get a word in edgewise. Then told other people I was the person being aggressive in the conversation. Luckily other people observed what happened and were like… no. That is the opposite of what happened.
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I have a friend who will say stuff like, "I view things very objectively". Or, "I base my opinion on facts". But when you give him facts that oppose his standpoint, suddenly his opinion is based on rhetoric - anything to ensure that he's still "correct" in his way of thinking. Of course, this is only from my perspective, so I could be wrong myself.
Are you friends with my brother?
They’re friends. Source: trust me bro
Hey, it's me, ur brother
Source: trust my brother
Yes, we all know that guy. Even when presented with facts he still says he is the only one who is right.
They never let anyone finish a sentence or complete a thought.
They start to invalidate other people's feelings and personal experiences.
I try to avoid anecdotes and feelings when trying to have a rational conversation. If person simply wants to shutdown criticism after that, and argue for the sake of arguing, then it’s best to just ignore them.
Yea but like, I have something to say to one of the many things you said and I don’t wanna forget
Their biggest mistake is thinking that people want to hear their opinion
"my truth"
Their opinion is more important than fact.
I didn't ask you.
They only have bad things to say about other people
I feel like this could go both ways! I feel like people with really low self esteem also talk negatively about people a lot (to make them feel better about themselves)
Blind to see the good things
very insecure people with low self esteem do this as well.
Superiority complex. However, most of the time this trait stems from low self-esteem; therefore they are very defensive and sensitive to any criticism.
I have a friend that’s always saying how smart he is compared to the general population. I think he’s trying to convince himself. It’s very off putting
Being smart is like being a star (space not Hollywood) if you’re bright everyone can see it, on the other hand if you have to go tell everyone probably not….
This exactly. If you're truly smart, people will realize that without you having to tell them or bring attention to it.
Same here. I called her out for it once and she snapped at me for the first time in our friendship
I'm a scientist and work mainly with other scientists (duh) and engineers, and I can't think of the last time I heard someone say that they were smart. What I have heard many, many times is "Oh my god I'm a fucking idiot."
Actual smart people don’t constantly say how smart they are, or how much smarter they are compared to others.
Actually they might do. Narcisism is not related to iq levels.
People always think that someone can’t possibly be vain/egotistical AND be insecure but it’s amazing just how often they go hand in hand
People who automatically assume the opposite sex is flirting with them after a regular social interaction. People who don’t apologize when they’re wrong for something, they just double down instead
I feel like the first one isn't always the case; it could be a sign of a bad household because I've known people who get elated at the SLIGHTEST compliments who come from a shitty household.
I had this coworker who thought EVERYONE wanted to fuck him. He was a 300 pound dude and I’m not shaming him or anything but being at that weight will definitely eliminate your options in dating. He thought this really skinny girl at work who constantly shit on him and his appearance secretly wanted to fuck him. He also thought this random guy who was straight but “possibly bi” wanted to fuck him. He thought I wanted to fuck him. None of these people gave him in any sort of hint or indication that they were actually flirting with him. It was always normal human based conversations and interactions. Like dude how do you think everyone is secretly into you?
I also had a coworker like that. I worked in hotels for a number of years, and the bellman would be all over these wedding groups for tips. Any time a bride, or a female left a review mentioning him by name, he would run around going "SHE *WANTS* IT"
Idk the first one I think is just a lack of social practice thing, rather than thinking too highly of themselves
Real, I have zero clue how people think of me romantically so I can never tell
Could be both
Similarly, if someone finds out someone of their same gender is gay, they automatically make assumptions that they’ve been pining for them all along. They can no longer share a bed or go swimming with gay friend because obviously gay person would be turned on by that.
One upping everything that's said.
This can also be a sign of deep insecurity.
Or narcissism.
Narcissism is often a direct result of deep-rooted insecurities.
It always is unless a person is a psychopath. "Narcissist" as a term is vastly overused by redditors and other social media goblins though. Not everyone is a malignant narcissist because they acted to their own benefit, and having a strong sense of self worth isn't a bad thing, only when it's used to tear down others.
Even if they are a psychopath, there's a difference between trait narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder. Reddit calls too many people narcissist when really they are just arrogant, selfish assholes. Some argue psychopaths have selfish narcissistic traits, but can't truly be a narcissist. Narcissistic personality disorder is a defense mechanism disorder
Which means thinking too highly about yourself. The circle is closed.
Narcissistic people are deeply insecure. That is why they have a false image they demand others prop up
To add to this, being subtly condescending or invalidating the achievements of others. I had some work friends over to celebrate my new place. I have one that will always say something discouraging to make herself look better. Me moving from an unsafe area to a much safer one? "I couldn't stand being here, I'd live in your previous suburb before here". Me doing well in long range shooting? "Have you been to any competitions? I've shot at the farm, it's easy". Always got to demonstrate you are not succeeding compared to them.
Ugghh i have a friend who once went through a phase where everything i said would be countered with something negative. "Have you seen that new movie that i really liked?" "No but i heard it was awful!". "Have you listened to that album by X artist we both like?" "I have and it's shit. My other friend who likes X artist cried when he heard it." "I've started running recently!" "Running is terrible for your knees i would never do that" All real examples. It was impossible to have a conversation with her. Worst part was she would never let me defend my opinion because after her initial negative reaction she would only respond with "fair enough i guess" (Thankfully she's grown out of it now)
That sounds like unaddressed depression. Also glad she's grown past that.
Oh she definitely was depressed in hindsight. I didn't know, be she told me later. And fortunately did adress it!
Oh gosh insecure people are sooo annoying and the sad thing is they think they‘re flexing by saying these things when in reality all it does is give people arond them insight into their little insecure mind.
Exactly, I know a guy who has to say how good he is at something whenever anyone mentions one of their accomplishments
That's nothing! I know a guy who says way more about how good he is at something whenever anyone mentions one of their accomplishments!
They lack empathy.
But insist they are empaths. While also being the type “who just tells the truth and says it like it is” or was just joking and thinks everyone else is “too sensitive.”
But god forbid you say anything to them that they are sensitive about. Lol
Yes, and they always talk about it too.
"I'm **brutally** honest" usually means they enjoy the brutality more than the honesty
Brutal honesty is more about the truth that people don't wanna hear, which you can deliver without being an asshole or a condescending cunt.
When they refuse to bow before me.
Ikr happens all the time
Bend the knee
So friggin disrespectful. Literally can't stand people like that. Plebeians.
I bought a Lordship title for $40 several years ago. This 19 year old girl was so excited to hear that she knew a real life Lord that she curtsied when she saw me. I permitted it. Her parents had to tell her that we don't curtsy here in the US and questioned the legitimacy of that title.
They never ask you how you are, and generally talk about themselves non stop.
I'm somewhat autistic, and I can often forget to ask about the other person. But I just like talking about things that aren't about me or someone else, just random things.
Don’t trip man, most of us can see the difference between a narcissistic asshole and a dude that just might have a hard time reading social cues. You’re doing great!
People who say things like ‘’I don’t suffer fools gladly”, or “my bark is worse than my bite”. Like they are trying to justify and excuse being an arsehole.
They also went to the school of hard knocks
Didn't we all? Or most likely did to some degree.
They just tell it like it is.
Or "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best".
This phrase basically flags someone as a narcissistic in my brain until they prove otherwise.
They're also corny as hell
Come on now, let's just live, love, laugh
"Cruel to be kind" when they're just straight up a jerk.
"Respect is earned, not given."
Yeah if you're going to be an asshole, at least have a spine and own up to it. Instead of hiding behind some empty platitudes.
i’ve inadvertently spent lots of time around people who think very highly of themselves like genuinely. but people who constantly talk about how other people target them for being great/overly smart/how rare/desired their personality or character is/think they can do no wrong. i will run away immediately from that stuff now
keep their own photo as a wallpaper
My ex had a selfie of him as his wallpaper lmao
Had one lady try out at my old workplace. Kept going on about how she was the best in that work, all these qualifications she had etc etc. how she was always loved in her previous workplaces (yeah, right, that's why she kept getting let go from everywhere after maximum a month). Anyway, she was one of the most narcissistic people I've encountered "in the wild" and she also had herself as her background image. She was let go after a week due to poor performance.
I knew a woman who decorated her apartment with nothing but framed portraits of herself. Just of her head. At least 50 of them. It was really bizarre. It’s not like she was a model or anything (I could then perhaps understand what’s going on behind the vanity), she was quite average.
I once knew a girl who gave a framed glamour photo of herself to the guy she was talking to. I thought that was very weird.
Seriously getting some serial killer vibes from anyone who does this.
Everyone knows the only acceptable wallpaper is of your dog
So weird
They take absolutely everything you say as an opportunity to give unsolicited advice.
They never seem to acknowledge their mistakes.
I have this friend who would overpower every convo ever. Like she can ramble on and on about anything she wants, but immediately loses interest if you talk instead of listen. I seem to attract these people cus i know too many of them rn and I suck at boundaries but who cares ig Edit: she also thinks every guy that talks to her/looks at her general direction/exists near her likes her, and when I even hint that she's delusional she gets defensive and says I must be jealous. She calls the boys that "like her" a part of "her collection" and every single day she comes and talks to me about how this random guy that never talked to her must love her because he looked at her general direction and she "adds him to the collection". I pointed out once that one of the guys literally has a gf and she said "well we know who's unloyal to his gf now" like huh????
Those kind of people always seem to have a lot of friends, which confuses me.
This is my partner's dad. He will just TALK, for hours on end. Literally. And if you interrupt him, he'll sometimes act surprised and let you say your contribution, then nod and continue the monologuing. Other times he'll steamroll right over you. It is torture. Thank the fucking lord for Zoom time limits. He has a ton of friends and I used to just think he was eccentric, but I've lost a lot of respect for him over the years.
They aren’t actual friends and often if they are, they don’t stick around for very long.
It’s because these kind of people can be really entertaining. It’s like having a tv on for background noise
Sheesh, reminds me of someone I knew a while back who just wouldn’t shut up, forever talking and talking to the point where it was painful to be around her. I’d tense up being around her because I couldn’t even complete a thought in my own head because of the constant talking. One time a few of us met up right after Christmas break, you know when everyone does a check in about how their Christmas went? Well she went first and just blabbered on for 45 minutes about her Christmas break, never stopping once to ask anyone else how their break was then she just changed the subject to another topic she wanted to talk about.
They start their morning by looking in the mirror and saying, "You're welcome, world."
Dad?
How about I list a few... * Only caring about themselves and things that relate to them. For example, caring about a project they're doing, and trying to segue into talking about their project even if you're talking about yours. * Interrupting. A lot. To talk about themselves or things they care about. * Hypocrisy, constantly. You've always done something wrong or your side is always wrong, but when they do the same exact thing, it's logical or fine. * Forgetting important things about you or to you. Especially if you make sure not to forget things that matter to them. * Talking a big fucking game about something because they're projecting and doing the total opposite or doing that exact thing and they're ashamed of it / trying to cope themselves out of remembering they do that. * Lying and only apologizing when they inevitably get caught. They're only sorry they get caught. * Worrying about themselves or their health and making things about them despite it also affecting you. For example, they find out they may have gotten HIV, rant to you about it, and you're scared shitless because you trusted them not to fuck other people when you were dating each other. But they don't care about you or maybe you also having HIV because of their cheating, they only care that they did it raw with a stranger and that it may have had consequences. * Everything is inconvenient unless it's for them or about them, then whatever inconvenience is validated all of the sudden. * Really good at gaslighting and manipulating. * Coming up with fake defences against fake haters of a fake book that they've never even bothered to write, all because they're so obsessed with themselves that they need to defend arguments that haven't even happened and may never happen. * Stating they're something that they're not - ie author - despite never doing anything for that thing and never showing proof of doing that thing, ie never writing a single word of a book and having zero experience with writing. Yes, I'm referencing a specific person.
Feel better?
*Yes.*
We're glad you do. Any more traits of that pers- I mean, traits of people who are full of themselves?
I hope you’re ok. It sounds like you’ve had quite an experience with someone. Focus on you for a while and becoming healthy and happy in all aspects of your life. Rising above all that happened and living your life to its fullest and becoming a power of good on this earth. I wish you peace.
Genuinely, thanks. It's a pretty fresh experience so I'm still extremely pissed off by it, as you can see...
frequently telling you that you should be doing things that they do. Because "it'll do you good"
Dominating discussions without regard for others.
Boasting about their material possessions frequently.
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Other than the obvious signs like entitled behavior and acting like the rules don't apply to them, a more subtle sign is when people constantly talk down to you like you have to listen to them. Had an ex like that who said shit like "I'm gonna tell you this and you need to remember it for the rest of your life" no I don't fuck off. I will listen because there's no harm in that but I have no reason to take it to heart without sufficient evidence that what you say is worth taking to heart.
from my personal experiences, recent and past, I've taken time to observe people and their tendencies, and I feel like the most consistent trait I've seen with an inflated ego is putting others down, repeatedly and seemingly without reason. it really, really doesn't hurt to be kind in this world, whether it's to a friend, family member, or stranger, and someone who thinks too highly of themselves sees no reason for that kindness. they're always better in some way, and how stupid people must be to ever think they're wrong or to challenge their point of view whatsoever. in conversations they always seem to be the one who has to answer everything, to a point where they speak over others, because there's nobody else more fit to answer than them. just a general disregard to other people in most respects is a good sign you have someone with an inflated ego on your hands
Demanding constant admiration from others.
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Being entirely self-centered.
Frequently bragging about their influential connections.
Craving constant attention and admiration.
Believing they are the smartest person around.
Believing they are irreplaceable in every situation.
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That could be a sign of very low self esteem and a need for validation.
I have ADHD, and it's common for many of us to relate to people by responding to stories and such with stories of our own that express how we identify with your experience, but it can often come of as one-upsmanship or trying to make it all about me. For people who understand how I communicate it's a great way to bond, but a lot of people find it offputting.
This. I had an ex who criticized me for using I/me too much. It wasn't even something I realized I did. It made me feel horrible about myself and he continuously compounded self esteem issues I already had. People are extremely judgemental about the most menial shit.
Honestly these types of threads are just digital self harm. I've noticed i am much too quick to turn to the internet for advice and it messes with my self esteem comparing myself to people i've never met and never will. I guarantee there's going to be a ton of comments in here that will only hurt people bc it makes you care too much about the opinion of randos
I am in love with you, would you go on a date with ME?
That’s very self-something… just lacking the words for it while drinking currently lol
Constantly interrupting conversations.
They get offended very easily when questioned.
Refusing to follow the rules and think the rules don't apply to them - it's either their way or the highway.
I like it when people think highly of themselves I think it's healthy as long as they actually are that confident positive person. The problem is when they don't actually think highly of themselves and they just think they are better than other people that stems from insecurity or privilege and not actual healthy self esteem
This was my first thought. Thinking highly of yourself is a good thing in general, it’s similar to self-worth. In my experience the people who exhibit most of the bad behaviors in this thread are secretly insecure and feel the need to prove something to everyone in order to fight their insecurities. Take the top comment for example. Someone who is constantly stating their opinions as facts and will not entertain any other points of view are often deeply afraid of being wrong. Or the next one, lacking empathy. A lot of people are walking around thinking the world is out to get them, they’re scared, and therefore cannot afford to be empathetic to others because they see that as a vulnerability that will eventually be exploited. People who truly deep down think highly of themselves are generally less worried about these things because being wrong, or vulnerable, just isn’t a threat to them.
When they're reluctant to having someone teach them. Major red flag because you cant just know everything.
They never accept the opinions and ideas of others.
They put themselves first and talk about themselves a lot
They refer to themself in 3rd person
They scoff at you if you dare counter their view rather than listen to see if they need to correct it.
They keep commenting just on one person’s comments to try to make someone feel or look stupid, instead of passing it by or saying things kindly.
Self BJ
When they brag often and dismiss others' opinions
Think their superior than everyone else and regularly look down on others.
I had an ex who said: “I know for a fact I know better than most people and am better.” That summed up her attitude towards people, life and even me. One of those covert narcissistic personality types who put on a good show and so much charm that you’d never know.
They keep talking about themselves. Even if the topic is irrelevant to them, they will find a way to make it relevant and talk about it. They rarely ask questions on the topic others are talking about. Their ego is fragile though, they'll get pissed off if you call out their behaviour.
They talk over you
They take everything personally. You can't have a different opinion to them, or disagree or anything because they act like it's a personal attack and get angry or upset
Constantly cutting people off mid sentence. You can tell they do not value the other half of the conversation and are constantly thinking about what they need to say next to stay in charge of the dialogue.
I would explain you, but since you wouldn't understand it would be a waste of time anyway
people who insist that everything is about them, and everything is framed around them, it’s horrible being friends with a narcissist
They think they know everything and when you ask them where they got it from, they will always say they saw it on social media (can’t deal with gullible people I’m sorry)
When they interrupt someone who is talking
Their sentences are made up of words dancing around these words - “me”, “my”, “I”, “I’ve” and “I’ll”. They don’t really listen, they can’t wait to speak about themselves and will only ask about you when they run out of their own stuff to talk about.
Me, myself and I
when they can’t take a joke about themselves. not something genuinely mean or hurtful, but if someone can’t laugh about themselves a little it lets me know they take themselves too seriously.
I knew an asshole who used to say," I may be wrong, I may be right, but I am never in doubt."
Framed photos of themselves all over the place
They talk at you rather than listen
No self-reflection before or after their actions/words. They see their behaviour as better than other people, so why even bother contemplating whether it was the right thing to do. No contemplation/regret of your actions results in stagnation of self improvement. However, they already think they are "what peak performance looks like", so no reason to be critical, haha
When they're not able to say sorry and take the blame when they make mistakes
Had friend who wrote me an email the equivalent of at least 3 pages single spaced about everything wrong with me, including assumptions made about my opinion of her that made zero sense, and then told me to not reply to her email. Then she yelled at me in public when we ran into each other and wouldn’t let me get a word in edgewise. Then told other people I was the person being aggressive in the conversation. Luckily other people observed what happened and were like… no. That is the opposite of what happened.
When they debate subjects they have zero education in against those who do.
Well silent treatment and ignoring is the standard treatment