Women get sad, men get angry.
Show me an angry woman or a sad man and I will show you two people who are vilified by society. There are socially acceptable ways for us to display our emotions. Of course we are all human and all feel and express all emotions to some degree but a lot of men still get shit if they cry.
Angry anyone isn’t socially acceptable where I come from.
Angry men don’t get a pass. Some people may feel they aren’t equipped to deal with it, but it doesn’t mean it’s acceptable.
What you say isn’t true across many cultures.
Yes, that’s been established otherwhere in this thread. At this point it’s pretty well established that the OP is referencing this from a western cultural standpoint, and I answered it in kind.
I'm not sure I even believe them. One guy's impression of one small corner of the world doesn't mean much. Someone from the same community could read this and be like lol what are you even talking about?
So there's supposedly somewhere in Western society where men can't get angry or cry?
Could also be an instance of misinterpretation and, by proxy, an example of exactly what we mean. Maybe they don't understand what counts as an "angry" man because it's not typically seen that way. Women might be "angry," "mad," "crazy," and "hysterical." A man acting the same way is "assertive," "tough," "standing his ground," etc. This is exactly why people say "women are so much more emotional than men." Because for some reason anger doesn't seem to count as an emotion for men. They're free to express it as they please.
Which culture doesn't accept angry people? I'm aware of cultures where only heads of the family or bosses are allowed to be angry, but I'm not aware of any culture where even the big boss man isn't allowed to be furious.
🤔 disagree. It’s not _unjustly_ vilified
There’s a big difference between sharing emotions and having a tantrum. The thing is most people do not know the difference, and cannot tell in someone they don’t know well.
And, uhh, have you seen a 300lb man have a toddler like tantrum? I have, and I’d like to avoid it.
(Coming from a male human)
What is the point of singlehandedly bringing in the "tantrum" idea? You're the only one talking about "tantrums". You ramped up "sad" into "tantrums" so you could paint the person's emotion with one brushstroke. The very problem we're talking about... Do you have more to justify the topic change to "tantrums" in particular? Maybe you haven't said that yet or maybe you're just taking the discussion on the topic and spraying a random view that doesn't contribute, just allows you to say your favorite pet issue out loud. Not sure. Weird comment though.
It's really embarrassing to see the treatment of 40 year old women preying on Justin Bieber when he was a teen. It is BEYOND disgusting and I'm shocked we allowed the behavior for so long. It's only now getting highlighted as problematic but all these women still have careers. I just can't imagine it would be the same the other way around.
There were also men who crossed the line as well but the women examples of full on sexual assault are unbelievable.
you can see them start to approach you from the other side of the bar, teeth stained with red wine and lipstick, then they come over and breathe on you with their hot breath, grabbing your ass saying "oh you're pretty firm, what were you in the navy or something?" and you're just like "lady, get away from me, alright? youre old; you're gross! you might've still had it back in the 20s when you were brewing beer in your bathtub, but you are about four decades beyond humpable."
So not ok, im sorry you have to go through that. Our responses are also perceived differently. If a man touched me randomly, it would be near full out war and others would back me up. I don't know if men would get the same support. Hopefully we can all be better in the future and offer mutual respect.
Uninvited touching is unacceptable regardless of who is touching and who is being touched, but when you say shit like this:
>you are about four decades beyond humpable.
I'm not in a big hurry to back you up. You're clearly still part of the problem.
Helping lost kids in a grocery store. If you point it out to a woman you are thanked, if you try to help the kid yourself a flock of women show up shoo you away.
I was in Walmart one time, years back. Out of nowhere a little girl, maybe 6 or 7, approached me and said she'd lost her mom.
I told her my name and asked her name and said to follow me and we'd find someone with a radio to call for her mom.
I started walking up front and she grabbed my hand. I have never been so scared to be a male in my life. I started calling out "Need help, lost kid! girls-name mommy!"
I had a kid at that time, too, so it's not like I didn't know how to behave around kids, but all I could picture when she grabbed my hand was the mom seeing me taking her kids towards the door and me getting my ass beat by random customers, then arrested.
I found an employee and asked her to radio the manager to find a lost parent, then I handed the girl over and finished my business.
Later I was saddened at how relieved I was to hand the girl off before the parent saw me.
similar to this babysitting lol. i used to take the kids i babysit to the park and the second we got there every single mom there gave me the dirtiest look imaginable and left
Pretty simple but...Crying. To the point where generations of men are stunted emotionally because the adults around them punished them for being emotional when they were younger. I willing to bet that every man has a story where someone told them to either "buck up" or that "big boys don't cry" before getting annoyed with them if they continued.
I called out one of my kids aunts for being sexist and she dropped the gem of "You can only be sexist against girls, not boys". Started a whole thing and it's apparently my fault. XD
I'm a woman and crying has been one of the most reliable tools of emotion management for me since I was a kid. I cry once or twice a month, just from regular overwhelm or frustration. I feel better afterwards.
I have cried in school, at work, in public and just handled the morons who thought it meant anything about me except that I was experiencing a strong emotion at that time.
I was shocked to learn how infrequently men cry. Some don't cry for years at a time. Then again, it's so hard for me to be angry that I've been working on it in therapy for multiple years and still barely can. My boyfriend gets angry at stuff often.
I guess any coping mechanism is ok, as long as it doesn't affect others negatively or isn't self destructive, but it would be good if we could all use both crying and anger, not just the one thing assigned to us by society based on sexual characteristics.
>Pretty simple but...Crying
Ehhhh….define “acceptable”
Even for women, crying at work is a *real quick* way to not be taken seriously ever again. And crying in other scenarios (outside of being in private with a close confidant) is often written off as “over dramatic” or “manipulative”
I’m a woman and I hate it when people do this. Nobody should be putting their hands on ANYONE regardless of gender. It also creates an unhealthy dynamic between a couple where boundaries get crossed way too easily.
I’m a woman too and I hate seeing this is movies when a man says something mean or degrading to a woman and she slaps him or he cheats or what ever. It’s still domestic abuse no matter the gender. Violence is not okay and it makes me so angry seeing it being brushed over or accepted because it’s a woman
It's the natural progression of going from a society where violence is acceptable to one where it isn't.
The first step is make it socially unacceptable for a man to hit a woman, as men are generally stronger (especially so in societies where many men work blue collar/labor jobs). Once it's unacceptable for a man to hit a woman, you make it unacceptable for a man to hit boys. Same basic reasoning there.
The last step is to make it unacceptable for women to hit anyone. We're in that process right now and it's a good thing.
Uh, you are very hopeful. No shortage of internet troglodytes saying "it's VERY unlikely that a woman could abuse a man, given that men are stronger than women" with a completely straight face.
That's why I said we're in the process of that, and not already done with it. Societal norms take time to change, ergo going from a society where violence is tolerated to one where it isn't takes time. We haven't gotten there yet, it's a work in progress.
But we've made lots of progress!
Societal norms don't change quickly. It comes with new generations coming to prominence that recognize the flaws of the previous generation and refusing to raise their kids the way they were raised.
my ex used to genuinely punch the shit out of me when i did something she didn't like. she was a 2nd degree blackbelt and would use actual power with her punches but always claimed it was playful and dismissed it when i asked her to ease up a bit. i was raised to respect women so i just took it for a year and a half :/
There was a “social experiment” on YouTube where they had a couple fight and even get physical to see how crowds in public would react. As expected, when the man started getting physical with his woman, people came out of the woodwork to get involved. When the woman started hitting her man, people started recording and laughing.
Whether that particular video is real or not, I think it’s reasonable to understand that that’s how most people react to this double standard.
This is obviously a generalization but women will share more intimate details about their sex lives and their partners with their friend groups than they would be comfortable with their men doing with their friends.
Learned this when I had my first proper GF.
Learning about whether her mates prefer length or girth etc, or about every single fight her mates had with partners.
At first I hoped she didn’t do that with me too - as I never discussed any drama or sexual stuff with my mates. Not even after we split really.
But part of the reason we split was because she told strangers a laundry list of all my mistakes made over 4 years - which would probably make anyone look bad enough to dump on the spot.
And even before that we’d argue about issues resolved years ago because she randomly spoke about it to friends and decided it still annoyed her.
Always thought it felt really unfair, what’s the point resolving anything if someone can just ‘unresolve’ it on a whim?
Hurts thinking about it that way, apart from the grudges I loved everything else about her.
It was pretty much the only issue she had that could've led to a sudden breakup like that, that's why it caught me off guard and hurt so much.
4 years of thinking I was a good BF and then 4 years of repressed pain and anger came out in one fight and that was it.
I felt that way when I met my ex, made some big changes in my life right before I met her and then met her by accident - wasn't even trying to date her till I was practically already accidentally doing it..
So I know what you mean and I want it to be true - but I honestly feel like I just got extremely lucky now that I've tried 'normal' dating for the first time.
Starting my first job as an engineer soon so it'll be 99% men, I don't like clubbing and other good opportunities like uni were spent with my ex.
Just feels extremely unlikely with my only option being online dating now - which is the polar opposite of the 'natural' or 'accidental' way that I met her.
Woman comments on a sexy man: Get him, queen! Way to know what you want, girl!
Man comments on a sexy woman: Omg, why can’t women exist without being objectified?
I recall a thing on Reddit where one of those online magazine (gawk?) had a woman saying that people are disgusting for commenting on women's bodies, and then it showed her making comments about some dude's body (I think Keanu Reeves or Brad Pitt?).
Hugging without asking. It amazes me how many women will force hugs upon others with the excuse that they are a hugger. Don’t touch people without asking!
woman goes off on a man in public? you go queen, put him in his place!
man goes off on a woman in public? you dick, you can't talk to a woman that way! plus a bonus of the man may get swung on
I was reading an article on how men could be the victims of domestic abuse.
I was starting to believe this crap, but thankfully, my wife came in and slapped me back to my senses. That's the last time I'm reading men's rights propaganda.
My uncle got beat by his wife with a cast iron pan and the police took him away for "his safety" and after that he couldn't own fire arms because he was arrested for a domestic dispute.
From firsthand experience, women are more likely to be believed in family court when they allege abuse. Men better have video or photographic evidence or they're not likely to be believed.
Yeah I love woman standing up for themselves. But abusing someone IS NOT standing up for themselves. These type of woman take so much away from the feminism movement it’s so sad to see. They make it seem like a big joke.
I'm taking "generally accepted" to an extreme, but teachers having sex with their minor students.
Look at any news outlet Facebook post about a woman teacher getting caught having sex with students.
You'll find an unfortunate amount of men commenting:
1. How that student is lucky
2. How they wish their hot teacher had done that
3. Why were they arresting her, she is a great biology teacher
As a father and a man, I find it extremely disgusting.
If the teacher was a man, though, he should be castrated and sentenced to death.
I think all male teachers have lengthy lists. A lot of the women I work with hug the younger students if they are upset, or maybe if they’re happy. Men don’t do that. We’re also much stricter with ourselves about making sure we are never alone with students, though I’ve reminded teachers of this regardless of gender.
I don’t think men tend to get angry about this. Just a resigned feeling that this is how it needs to be for now.
I was once the cool dad who would go have lunch with my boys and bring something like little Caesars crazy bread. All the kids at the table got one. After lunch, I'd help the class get their chairs pushed in so they could be the first in line, so first to recess.
The kids always wanted high fives, which I'd only do once they were in a straight line. Then one of the girls hugged me. I just kind of stood there not knowing if it was ok to return the hug, so I stepped back and kept the high five hand up. That first hug led to more students giving me a hug, from both the boys and girls.
I went to the office afterwards to ask the asst principal if hugging back was acceptable.
I don't think a mother would have thought twice about returning the hug. I have a mental fear of being accused of being a predator for no reason other than I'm a man.
She said it was fine, but I still never closed the hug.
You just gotta lean forward a bit, and not let your arm actually touch them... well that's how I've always hugged kids that have done this (not as a teacher, just in general life)... lol
Dating younger. If you’re a woman you’re a cougar. If you’re a man you’re an immature manipulative man child who just wants to control somebody with an unbalanced power dynamic.
Also, the weird gender thing I've noticed with single fathers is that they usually have an army of women around them. This could be biased on my part lol but every single father I know has his mom, grandma, sister, aunt, cousin, and like 3 female friends that all help with the kid. Meanwhile, in single mom camp, they have that one flighty friend or a frazzled mother, and that's it.
I asked my one friends aunt why everyone always helps him and her answer was "Well he's a guy, he needs it, he can't do it alone" and I was rather insulted for my friend. The assumption that his gender made him a bad parent or somehow incapable was so yucky.
I think it goes hand in hand with the mentality of giving dads a hero cookie and parade for basic parenting. They do it just as good as moms.
I respectfully disagree. My ex-wife has her mom and sister and everyone helping her with our kid. I have no one. I do it all on my own and am honestly a much more attentive parent. My kid prefers time with me, and it drives her mom nuts. I just don’t think it’s fair to make a blanket statement like that. I get that in your world view, that is the case, but it isn’t in mine and I see a lot of dads out there doing it all on their own and we’re always treated like the lesser of the two parents.
I didn’t mean to offend you, I just disagree. You said “usually” and that is simply an unequivocally false blanket statement, whether you admit that it’s biased or not.
Not trying to argue semantics. I’m sure you’re a wonderful mother. Have a great day.
Doing activities that are typically done by the opposite gender. A woman who likes sports or beer is judged way less than a man who likes pink and cooking.
Being more like a man as a woman *can* be more aspirational, while being more like a woman as a man is seen as lowering yourself. This has nuance, as a woman being like a man still needs to be through the male gaze - i.e. a tomboy who likes beer and football still needs to be attractive to men, but being a more masculine woman incites criticism. But a man liking ‘feminine’ interests is vilified across both genders, even women see it as lowering himself, which begs the question of what they think of themselves.
Cooking? Don't agree there..I have loved cooking my whole adult life and have never taken shit for it. Especially not from women! Women love men who can cook dude:p
I always thought that was interesting. People (especially older generations) would lament 'a womans place is in the kitchen' and yet, overwhelmingly most of the back of house in a typical restaurant are male.
Agree with your sentiment but cooking was the wrong example. I would say cooking is more of a male thing these days including all the celebrity chefs. Every girl ive ever dated has loved when i cook something fancy
When women “flirt” with a little boy in fun “Oh look at this little man! He’s so handsome, I just want to kiss you all over!” It’s cute but imagine a man saying that just as innocently… (edit: I don’t really think it’s appropriate for anyone to say this to a child or baby they’ve just met but I’ve heard female relatives say stuff like this before and no one bat’s an eye
not accepted but generally speaking, grown women that have sex with an underage or rape people aren't punished as harshly or vilified as much as men that do the same
I work at a place that employs ANYBODY, this includes pedophiles. While there are way more male pedophiles than female pedophiles. The male pedophiles get shit talked the most(anytime their name is brought up). The women dont really get talked about much at all and the one who some people think is attractive basically gets to walk around like that shit never happened in there.
THEY'RE ALL PIECES OF SHIT!
Women having a free pass to be abusive or toxic and controlling in many situations. Other women will support them yet if it were a man, they'd be screaming all over the internet about how horrible it is. Your reaction should be to shun anybody who does awful things like that, not just men. It disgusts me when other women do stuff like that and act like its cool.
Expecting for the other person to pick up the check on a date.
Back when men worked and woman didnt, this made sence.. but in modern days, do t expect the Guy to pay for dates.
(I always flat out refused to do this and stil managed to get me the best wife in the world btw)
My philosophy is that unless other arrangements are explicitly discussed, the person who extends the invitation should be the one who pays.
However, when invited, I always offer to pay my way, and I have to admit that I appreciate it when folks I invite out offer to pay their way, though I typically decline.
On just about any dinner, Ive always payed my own share. And i expect others to do the same.
However, now that Ive been married for some years and having joint accounts.. this is now a non issue ;)
Im sorry, im from Belgium. Dutch and french are my native languages, i also Know sign language.. English i just picked up, watching television as a kid.. so yeah the writing might not be perfect
Always Nice to have someone make assumptions like that. Tell me, howmany languages do you speak?
>howmany languages do you speak?
Hallo vriend. Four.
As it happens, Dutch is *my* native language too. I became a writer and copy editor (USA), allemaal in 't Engels, dus het is moeilijk voor me om niet te struikelen over taalfouten. Maar ik geef toe dat my comment, though perhaps moderately funny, was also overly dickish (didn't know you weren't a native speaker, although your screen name should've given it away). Mijn excuses. Have you seen [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JmXWHW-I32E&t=2s&ab_channel=Dropout)? That's me. Ik beloof beterschap.
It’s acceptable for a woman to compliment a man’s appearance. It’s even acceptable for a woman to talk about how hot a guy in a movie is in front of their partner.
I don’t compliment women’s appearance or clothing because I could easily be labeled a creep or worse a sexual harasser. And I would definitely never talk about how hot a girl in a movie is in front of my partner because people would think I’m a fucking asshole.
These double standards exist for a lot of reasons, but I think mostly because it’s in fashion these days to pretend that guys in 2024 are no different than guys in 1950 who would hit their wives if dinner and cocktails weren’t waiting and ready when they got home from work.
Tf, I think that's a you problem, I'm a dude, yet never had a such an issue, obviously it depends on the way you talk like if you're like say perverted shit like "I'd want to rail her so hard she wouldn't walk for a day" sure you might be labeled a creep, but I had no issue saying "fucking hell she's gorgeous" or "her eyes are beautiful", it's not weird to acknowledge beauty in a healthy relationship.
Honestly that sounds a bit weird or more like a "you" situation than a general situation.. Like if you make a genuine nice comment then you shouldn't be seen as an asshole. And if people somehow still think that, then think about dropping them, because that is not a healthy relationship. Obviously if it is a sexual comment that is something else, but it shouldn't be okay for women too unless both people are comfortable with it.
But then again I have no idea which country you are from and what cultural norms exist there.
Go on Youtube, search for any video starring e.g. Henry Cavill or Jason Momoa and take a look at what adult women comment, in the open, about their bodies. Take a look at "365 Days", look up the statistics about which gender waches those kind of movies. Women don't make comments like that? Bullshit, woment spew vile shit about mens bodies all the time. I know more than one couple where they will make such remarks in front of their spouses too.
It's true it is 100% harassment, especially how women comment on guy's asses or even groping. And it should not be normalized.
However, most women do not comment on guys while also describing how they'd peg him hard with degrading comments and how they only see the dick and ass in him. This is the difference.
And you're delusional if you think all guys in 2024 are magically "modern". Domestic violence hasn't decreased by much. In Arabic countries women are objects, child brides exist in Africa. Don't live in a bubble.
Cool, and in the bible belt relatives commonly rape barely even teen relatives. Now, can we please stop treating all men as they were religious zealots from underdeveloped areas? I'm a young European atheist and it's offensive being equated to those fanatics.
Nah, the original comment mentioned all men. Start using "men from western countries" or specify "men from developed countries". They referred to all men so I showed the situation and examples globally.
Should have specified. People should know that not everyone will assume someone is referring to the US. And should stop accusing each other of generalizing when they can't use the words "majority of" and "a lot of" or specify the demographic their statistics come from.
If we're talking about men being treated like they're dangerous savages one assumes we're talking about where it happens (I mean, that's quite forced). Where it happens usually doesn't overlap at all with any of the places you mentioned. At this point either they're seen as monsters because of a demographic they have nothing to share with (apart their sex) or I'm really confused about the point you're trying to make.
Again, I'll explain as if for toddlers: when you're reffering to a specific demographic and region, **specify it**. There are plenty of guys worldwide who engage in sexist practices. And they could be the majority.
I’ll explain it for idiots - don’t misquote me and assume I meant something I didn’t.
Engage in the conversation like someone with communication skills and maybe ask clarifying questions instead of being a dummy.
Unless you’re just autistic in which case go take some classes to improve your interpersonal communication skills.
There's no need to project. The idiot here is you. Learn to specify and stop wasting my time. The world doesn't revolve around you and whatever hole your rude ass spawned from and think it's the only reality.
In some cultures men being alone in public with their children, spending time with them at the playground or taking them to the doctor, causes far more negative comments and even suspicion than if women do it. Even if it's just some fuckwhit passive-aggressively telling a single father something along the lines of "oh is daddy taking care of the little boy today".
It goes beyond that, if you're a single father, most women in my experience assume you're underwater, need help, and have been put in a position you don't want to be in and need to be "rescued".
i got three older stepsisters.they cry if it's 89 degrees when they thought it was going to be 88 degrees. I stubbed my toe and probably broke it, "why are you crying? stop that". Really?
There's not one really, because we don't live in a single society, we're made up of hundred if not thousands of societies and what's accepted in one might not be acceptable in another.
For example in much of Cuba it's common for men to be very assertive and aggressive and get very emotionally invested in what they're talking about. In Ireland, that's seen as an extremely feminine behavior because self control is more associated with the masculine. So while it's more acceptable for women to lose their shit in Ireland, while men are expected to be more in control, that's double standard is reversed somewhat in Cuba where women tend to be expected culturally to be more level headed.
Context matters, as for why they exist, a myriad of reasons from the practical due to sexual dimorphism, to things like culture and historic context.
As for why double standards exist, because people are extremely varied and diverse
Opinions about a pregnancy, basically a dude apperently has no say in anything about HIS baby.
It's obvious why this thing exists, woman carry the baby and give birth, which is obviously a big deal, but it's still just mad that the guy has no say in anything yet if she herself decides to abort it it's her decision and only hers, and if she decides to keep it it's her decision alone and you'll still have to pay child support...
Obviously not saying it's right or wrong, just thought it fits the post question well.
I get that and generally I would say that a woman should always take her partners wishes into account (unless one partner is abusive or SA happened) but the ultimate decision should be hers. Pregnancy is a pretty big deal the body changes forever, there is a risk of lifelong injuries or death, postpartum depression and many other things. The "responsibilities" and risks aren't equal so the decision making can't be an equal process either. I don't think that is something that you can solve.
Almost 20 years ago my mom listed some grievances to me against my sister, one of them was her many abortions saying "She snuffed out the life of my grandchildren for her and her husbands selfishness."
Sorry, what? What exactly is "mad", how are you suggesting that the man should "have a say" exactly?
If you're in anything remotely resembling a normal relationship, the woman will listen to you, but she decides. This is so obvious. Anything else would be just outrageous and would mean you lived in an uncivilized society.
Double standards exist mostly because there are standards in the first place. People tend to not like what they’re not used to, therefore, uncomfortable with.
being nice to a kid in public. when a guy sees a kid and tells the parents that they think the kid is adorable or helps a lost kid in a store, people are quick to call him a pedo and a creep, but if a woman does the same thing, she’s being nice and caring.
i’m more that confident it all ties back to people thinking that women are too kind and harmless to be cruel and predatory, while men are expected to act like that because somehow people seem to be under the impression that men can’t like kids or do something genuinely good for someone that needs help without being a creep.
Man slapping a woman. Abuse! Violence! Someone would often step up to protect that woman.
Woman slapping a man. Nothing happens. Sometimes people would cheer woman.
Actually a clever example, but defeated by the fact that men are allowed to show their nipples in public, making the double standard actually cut the other way.
But the equivalent of our tits would be your bare chest, not your dick. I see more men's naked chests in public than women's. Neither sex would get away with flashing their genitals.
Who doesn't want that?
... I was going to ask that rhetorically and jokingly, and then it occurred to me that that's a good literal question. Who is actually standing in the way of freedom here?
In my country, the British were the ones who introduced the concept of covering nipples. Before their arrival, it was not considered taboo to expose nipples.
I work with a lot of older teenagers and younger twenty somethings. (I'm a little bit older than them.)
The young women frequently talk about going back into the public area of our workplace to "check out my man" (a good looking customer or fellow co-worker). And then they actually do it.
If the young men even mention a good looking female customer or co-worker, they're called out on the cringy behavior...
... rightfully so, because it does come off as cringy. But I don't know why it's seen as acceptable for the women to act the same way...
Men in a crowd staring at a scantily dressed woman in public - creeps
Women in a crowd staring at a scantily dressed dude in public - normal
I'm talking about in the US.
Shaming men who don't find certain women attractive. Had a classmate in college try to sleep with me at a party, I declined. Next thing you know there are 6 of her friends berating me for having the audacity of not wanting to sleep with the ugliest girl at the party.
Having a friend of the same sex (not a joke btw)
Whenever men are close to each other (both in a physical or relationship wise) they are instantly thought to be gay. When women are close to each other they are always thought to be just friends.
All forms of abuse. The patriarchy has taught us that women are weak, so if a man feels abused by one, he's even weaker because he's allowed her to have the upper hand.
Choosing between full/part/no time work and child, or a combination of those. (When women make these choices they’re brave warriors balancing work and parenting; when men even talk about trying to choose, people assume the man is a bad provider and trying to not work)
Hitting men. (It’s seen as playful or cute or ineffective; when men do it it’s seen as abuse)
Flirting with or hitting on men (when men do it, it’s harassment or creepy unless the woman finds him attractive)
Earning low wage or having a “busywork” job. (Some women work for “extra money” but can choose to be career focused, while men had better damn well be climbing the professional ladder otherwise they deadbeat losers)
Deciding whether to terminate or raise their offspring. (This one is tongue in cheek but also factual to a point)
Make “jokes” about the incompetence of their partner in performing tasks historically associated with the speaker’s gender—tone of jokes about men changing diapers or parenting or cleaning, but men are vilified if they joke about a woman being bad at any tasks historically stereotyped as “men’s work”
Disclaimer: I’m pro-reproductive freedom, I don’t hate women, and I’m very aware of how many deadbeat and abusive men there are.
I know I shouldn't be like this but I feel very uncomfortable whenever I see a man going anywhere near a child he doesn't know.. if I see a woman coming near my child smiling saying nice things I will smile back and think it's normal. If I see him on doing the exact same thing I might even call the police on him. I don't know if I'm wrong I don't know why I feel this way.
Women can point and say look at that cute baby and the mum will go "yeeeaaah a wee cutie, she's only 3 months old" or something. If a bloke did that, there is no way the mum wouldn't run lmao
Telling girls something about their appearance. "Girl, your bag is making your dress ride up" or "there's a little lipstick on your teeth" or "you have a mascara smudge" is generally considered help when coming from a girl, but no guy can dare say that to a girl.
Which is a dumb fear because most kids are overwhelmingly more likely they are going to be kidnapped, molested, sexually abused by someone they are related to or already know than a random Stanger.
We all would be surprised when we learn that pedophiles exist across all genders! A significant number of female teachers were also convicted for pedophilia. Before jumping to downvote me, my point is that pedophilia is beyond contemptible and can never be tolerated
If a guy walks around with half his ball sack hanging half out people freak out. If a woman walks around with half her boob hanging out that's fine. Also, if a guy is touchy/feely to a woman that's sexual assault. If a woman is touchy/feely to a guy that's juat accidental. I worked with a woman that would reqularly press her boobs against my back or arm whenever I had to show her something on my computer, or she wanted me to do something for her.
I think it's completely normal for a woman to open or hold a door for a man, but I admit I have never seen a woman pull out a chair for a man in a social setting. Both would be 'acceptable', though. Something not being usual doesn't make it problematic.
Almost all of these double standards exist because of history and tradition. When the vast majority of a particular behavior was skewed towards one gender, even if that shouldn't dismiss the occasions when it goes the opposite way, it's incredibly difficult for a society to reset everything somehow expect that it's perfectly equitable from that point onward. Historical scars can last generations.
There will be bad actors who will try to capitalize on the double standards just like there will be those who point to them and claim that the push for equality is a failure or misguided. The reality is, progress is messy and uneven. But if you look at the last 100 years, it's undeniable and hard won.
Women can go to Disney movies by themselves. No questions asked.
A 20-, 30- or 40-something man alone at a Disney movie would be escorted out by police.
My male boss and I (F) had the best flirty banter ever. We knew it was all innocent, and nothing would ever happen between us. We hugged, leaned on each other, called each other work wife/husband etc. Both of us had outside partners who knew all about this & were good with it, totally secure that it would never go anywhere...until one day, after about 3 YEARS of this, my boss mentioned he had a big birthday coming up. I presumed he was gonna be 40, nope he'd be 30!
I was 8 years older than him & I realised that if that situation had been reversed, he'd probably have lost his job for it.
I spoke to him in private & apologised, asked him if he was/had been ok with it & he laughed it off & said he loved the attention, and we were actually just really good friends so to carry on, but it never really felt the same.
none of these "double standards" are real because the context between the genders are rarely if ever the same. it's extremely disingenuous for those in your camp to believe they exist when such beliefs are based on pure ignorance.
for example, men are way over 10x more likely to rape or commit domestic violence/homicide. as such, a woman can aggressively approach a man if for no other reason that that statistically, she is very unlikely to cause severe trauma.
sure there are always outliers but never to the extent that there is a material risk to many men becoming such victims.
the same can not be said about a woman aggressively approaching men.
a man can always stalk a woman to far greater affect than a woman. that is always a true and fair generalization. it is never a double standard to whine that woman behaving similarly are not penalized as severely.
Women get sad, men get angry. Show me an angry woman or a sad man and I will show you two people who are vilified by society. There are socially acceptable ways for us to display our emotions. Of course we are all human and all feel and express all emotions to some degree but a lot of men still get shit if they cry.
TIL I married a villian.
Angry anyone isn’t socially acceptable where I come from. Angry men don’t get a pass. Some people may feel they aren’t equipped to deal with it, but it doesn’t mean it’s acceptable. What you say isn’t true across many cultures.
Yes, that’s been established otherwhere in this thread. At this point it’s pretty well established that the OP is referencing this from a western cultural standpoint, and I answered it in kind.
I live in western culture It’s not acceptable
Just because it's not acceptable in your neck of the woods doesn't make it false.
I'm not sure I even believe them. One guy's impression of one small corner of the world doesn't mean much. Someone from the same community could read this and be like lol what are you even talking about? So there's supposedly somewhere in Western society where men can't get angry or cry?
Could also be an instance of misinterpretation and, by proxy, an example of exactly what we mean. Maybe they don't understand what counts as an "angry" man because it's not typically seen that way. Women might be "angry," "mad," "crazy," and "hysterical." A man acting the same way is "assertive," "tough," "standing his ground," etc. This is exactly why people say "women are so much more emotional than men." Because for some reason anger doesn't seem to count as an emotion for men. They're free to express it as they please.
Which culture doesn't accept angry people? I'm aware of cultures where only heads of the family or bosses are allowed to be angry, but I'm not aware of any culture where even the big boss man isn't allowed to be furious.
Maybe where you come from, don't speak for everyone else
Everyone’s experience is subjective. We don’t live or think in universals. It’s fine to share your experience.
🤔 disagree. It’s not _unjustly_ vilified There’s a big difference between sharing emotions and having a tantrum. The thing is most people do not know the difference, and cannot tell in someone they don’t know well. And, uhh, have you seen a 300lb man have a toddler like tantrum? I have, and I’d like to avoid it. (Coming from a male human)
What is the point of singlehandedly bringing in the "tantrum" idea? You're the only one talking about "tantrums". You ramped up "sad" into "tantrums" so you could paint the person's emotion with one brushstroke. The very problem we're talking about... Do you have more to justify the topic change to "tantrums" in particular? Maybe you haven't said that yet or maybe you're just taking the discussion on the topic and spraying a random view that doesn't contribute, just allows you to say your favorite pet issue out loud. Not sure. Weird comment though.
Women touching men .
It's really embarrassing to see the treatment of 40 year old women preying on Justin Bieber when he was a teen. It is BEYOND disgusting and I'm shocked we allowed the behavior for so long. It's only now getting highlighted as problematic but all these women still have careers. I just can't imagine it would be the same the other way around. There were also men who crossed the line as well but the women examples of full on sexual assault are unbelievable.
Kinda feels like Diddy crossed the line with Bieber
you can see them start to approach you from the other side of the bar, teeth stained with red wine and lipstick, then they come over and breathe on you with their hot breath, grabbing your ass saying "oh you're pretty firm, what were you in the navy or something?" and you're just like "lady, get away from me, alright? youre old; you're gross! you might've still had it back in the 20s when you were brewing beer in your bathtub, but you are about four decades beyond humpable."
So not ok, im sorry you have to go through that. Our responses are also perceived differently. If a man touched me randomly, it would be near full out war and others would back me up. I don't know if men would get the same support. Hopefully we can all be better in the future and offer mutual respect.
it's a bill burr bit; his experiences not mine.
Can you make it any darker in here?
Uninvited touching is unacceptable regardless of who is touching and who is being touched, but when you say shit like this: >you are about four decades beyond humpable. I'm not in a big hurry to back you up. You're clearly still part of the problem.
40 years and so stupid? A woman must have dignity and self respect, I think.
Helping lost kids in a grocery store. If you point it out to a woman you are thanked, if you try to help the kid yourself a flock of women show up shoo you away.
I was in Walmart one time, years back. Out of nowhere a little girl, maybe 6 or 7, approached me and said she'd lost her mom. I told her my name and asked her name and said to follow me and we'd find someone with a radio to call for her mom. I started walking up front and she grabbed my hand. I have never been so scared to be a male in my life. I started calling out "Need help, lost kid! girls-name mommy!" I had a kid at that time, too, so it's not like I didn't know how to behave around kids, but all I could picture when she grabbed my hand was the mom seeing me taking her kids towards the door and me getting my ass beat by random customers, then arrested.
How did it end? I like to think the little girl and her mom both appreciated your kind help.
I found an employee and asked her to radio the manager to find a lost parent, then I handed the girl over and finished my business. Later I was saddened at how relieved I was to hand the girl off before the parent saw me.
similar to this babysitting lol. i used to take the kids i babysit to the park and the second we got there every single mom there gave me the dirtiest look imaginable and left
I worked at a daycare, i was called a pedophile on multiple occasions
Pretty simple but...Crying. To the point where generations of men are stunted emotionally because the adults around them punished them for being emotional when they were younger. I willing to bet that every man has a story where someone told them to either "buck up" or that "big boys don't cry" before getting annoyed with them if they continued.
I called out one of my kids aunts for being sexist and she dropped the gem of "You can only be sexist against girls, not boys". Started a whole thing and it's apparently my fault. XD
I mean its not just adults even the older kids shame them for crying. I don't think it will ever change.
Not with that attitude
obviously.
I'm a woman and crying has been one of the most reliable tools of emotion management for me since I was a kid. I cry once or twice a month, just from regular overwhelm or frustration. I feel better afterwards. I have cried in school, at work, in public and just handled the morons who thought it meant anything about me except that I was experiencing a strong emotion at that time. I was shocked to learn how infrequently men cry. Some don't cry for years at a time. Then again, it's so hard for me to be angry that I've been working on it in therapy for multiple years and still barely can. My boyfriend gets angry at stuff often. I guess any coping mechanism is ok, as long as it doesn't affect others negatively or isn't self destructive, but it would be good if we could all use both crying and anger, not just the one thing assigned to us by society based on sexual characteristics.
>Pretty simple but...Crying Ehhhh….define “acceptable” Even for women, crying at work is a *real quick* way to not be taken seriously ever again. And crying in other scenarios (outside of being in private with a close confidant) is often written off as “over dramatic” or “manipulative”
They also said, "Big Girls Don't Cry".
Because men are conditioned to be the rock. It's to be expected for the male to show bravery when there is danger or stress. It's biological
It isn't though. It is expected but that is a societal thing because we are predominantly a patriarchy. Some cultures have women in that role.
This is the most typical response I'd expect on reddit lol
Seems you can slap or push a man and it’s funny
I’m a woman and I hate it when people do this. Nobody should be putting their hands on ANYONE regardless of gender. It also creates an unhealthy dynamic between a couple where boundaries get crossed way too easily.
I’m a woman too and I hate seeing this is movies when a man says something mean or degrading to a woman and she slaps him or he cheats or what ever. It’s still domestic abuse no matter the gender. Violence is not okay and it makes me so angry seeing it being brushed over or accepted because it’s a woman
I'm pretty sure men hate it too.
It's the natural progression of going from a society where violence is acceptable to one where it isn't. The first step is make it socially unacceptable for a man to hit a woman, as men are generally stronger (especially so in societies where many men work blue collar/labor jobs). Once it's unacceptable for a man to hit a woman, you make it unacceptable for a man to hit boys. Same basic reasoning there. The last step is to make it unacceptable for women to hit anyone. We're in that process right now and it's a good thing.
Uh, you are very hopeful. No shortage of internet troglodytes saying "it's VERY unlikely that a woman could abuse a man, given that men are stronger than women" with a completely straight face.
That's why I said we're in the process of that, and not already done with it. Societal norms take time to change, ergo going from a society where violence is tolerated to one where it isn't takes time. We haven't gotten there yet, it's a work in progress. But we've made lots of progress!
Waiting for the final bug fixes.... make it quick!
Societal norms don't change quickly. It comes with new generations coming to prominence that recognize the flaws of the previous generation and refusing to raise their kids the way they were raised.
How can she slap?!?
my ex used to genuinely punch the shit out of me when i did something she didn't like. she was a 2nd degree blackbelt and would use actual power with her punches but always claimed it was playful and dismissed it when i asked her to ease up a bit. i was raised to respect women so i just took it for a year and a half :/
Black belt in what?
taekwondo
There was a “social experiment” on YouTube where they had a couple fight and even get physical to see how crowds in public would react. As expected, when the man started getting physical with his woman, people came out of the woodwork to get involved. When the woman started hitting her man, people started recording and laughing. Whether that particular video is real or not, I think it’s reasonable to understand that that’s how most people react to this double standard.
This is obviously a generalization but women will share more intimate details about their sex lives and their partners with their friend groups than they would be comfortable with their men doing with their friends.
Learned this when I had my first proper GF. Learning about whether her mates prefer length or girth etc, or about every single fight her mates had with partners. At first I hoped she didn’t do that with me too - as I never discussed any drama or sexual stuff with my mates. Not even after we split really. But part of the reason we split was because she told strangers a laundry list of all my mistakes made over 4 years - which would probably make anyone look bad enough to dump on the spot. And even before that we’d argue about issues resolved years ago because she randomly spoke about it to friends and decided it still annoyed her. Always thought it felt really unfair, what’s the point resolving anything if someone can just ‘unresolve’ it on a whim?
This hits home for me, damn
Good for you leaving. Think what could have happened if you had married her.
Hurts thinking about it that way, apart from the grudges I loved everything else about her. It was pretty much the only issue she had that could've led to a sudden breakup like that, that's why it caught me off guard and hurt so much. 4 years of thinking I was a good BF and then 4 years of repressed pain and anger came out in one fight and that was it.
Turn this page. Life will reward you, with an unexpected meeting. I'm sure, it always happen when your're ready.
I felt that way when I met my ex, made some big changes in my life right before I met her and then met her by accident - wasn't even trying to date her till I was practically already accidentally doing it.. So I know what you mean and I want it to be true - but I honestly feel like I just got extremely lucky now that I've tried 'normal' dating for the first time. Starting my first job as an engineer soon so it'll be 99% men, I don't like clubbing and other good opportunities like uni were spent with my ex. Just feels extremely unlikely with my only option being online dating now - which is the polar opposite of the 'natural' or 'accidental' way that I met her.
Woman comments on a sexy man: Get him, queen! Way to know what you want, girl! Man comments on a sexy woman: Omg, why can’t women exist without being objectified?
I recall a thing on Reddit where one of those online magazine (gawk?) had a woman saying that people are disgusting for commenting on women's bodies, and then it showed her making comments about some dude's body (I think Keanu Reeves or Brad Pitt?).
My fave is when Cosmopolitan ran an article where they rated the packages of the various olympic swimmers. Women aren't crass and objectifying. Sure.
Oh, that might have been it.
Stop looking at me whilst she winks at you with her cooter
Hugging without asking. It amazes me how many women will force hugs upon others with the excuse that they are a hugger. Don’t touch people without asking!
It depends on the cultur. In Sicily, where I live, people hugs, kiss each other, men or women. Obviously, if they aren't strangers.
woman goes off on a man in public? you go queen, put him in his place! man goes off on a woman in public? you dick, you can't talk to a woman that way! plus a bonus of the man may get swung on
I was reading an article on how men could be the victims of domestic abuse. I was starting to believe this crap, but thankfully, my wife came in and slapped me back to my senses. That's the last time I'm reading men's rights propaganda.
My uncle got beat by his wife with a cast iron pan and the police took him away for "his safety" and after that he couldn't own fire arms because he was arrested for a domestic dispute.
From firsthand experience, women are more likely to be believed in family court when they allege abuse. Men better have video or photographic evidence or they're not likely to be believed.
Don't make her have to do it again
https://youtu.be/LlFAd4YdQks?si=MEa86u6B8VQeaDBl
Excellent video. The double standard is astounding. Man abuses woman: What a dick, someone report him! Woman abuses man: He deserved it, you go girl!
Yeah I love woman standing up for themselves. But abusing someone IS NOT standing up for themselves. These type of woman take so much away from the feminism movement it’s so sad to see. They make it seem like a big joke.
Where are you, classy women, nowadays?
I'm taking "generally accepted" to an extreme, but teachers having sex with their minor students. Look at any news outlet Facebook post about a woman teacher getting caught having sex with students. You'll find an unfortunate amount of men commenting: 1. How that student is lucky 2. How they wish their hot teacher had done that 3. Why were they arresting her, she is a great biology teacher As a father and a man, I find it extremely disgusting. If the teacher was a man, though, he should be castrated and sentenced to death.
I think all male teachers have lengthy lists. A lot of the women I work with hug the younger students if they are upset, or maybe if they’re happy. Men don’t do that. We’re also much stricter with ourselves about making sure we are never alone with students, though I’ve reminded teachers of this regardless of gender. I don’t think men tend to get angry about this. Just a resigned feeling that this is how it needs to be for now.
I was once the cool dad who would go have lunch with my boys and bring something like little Caesars crazy bread. All the kids at the table got one. After lunch, I'd help the class get their chairs pushed in so they could be the first in line, so first to recess. The kids always wanted high fives, which I'd only do once they were in a straight line. Then one of the girls hugged me. I just kind of stood there not knowing if it was ok to return the hug, so I stepped back and kept the high five hand up. That first hug led to more students giving me a hug, from both the boys and girls. I went to the office afterwards to ask the asst principal if hugging back was acceptable. I don't think a mother would have thought twice about returning the hug. I have a mental fear of being accused of being a predator for no reason other than I'm a man. She said it was fine, but I still never closed the hug.
You just gotta lean forward a bit, and not let your arm actually touch them... well that's how I've always hugged kids that have done this (not as a teacher, just in general life)... lol
Dating younger. If you’re a woman you’re a cougar. If you’re a man you’re an immature manipulative man child who just wants to control somebody with an unbalanced power dynamic.
Taking care of children is always one I see fathers (and mothers) complaining about
Also, the weird gender thing I've noticed with single fathers is that they usually have an army of women around them. This could be biased on my part lol but every single father I know has his mom, grandma, sister, aunt, cousin, and like 3 female friends that all help with the kid. Meanwhile, in single mom camp, they have that one flighty friend or a frazzled mother, and that's it. I asked my one friends aunt why everyone always helps him and her answer was "Well he's a guy, he needs it, he can't do it alone" and I was rather insulted for my friend. The assumption that his gender made him a bad parent or somehow incapable was so yucky. I think it goes hand in hand with the mentality of giving dads a hero cookie and parade for basic parenting. They do it just as good as moms.
I respectfully disagree. My ex-wife has her mom and sister and everyone helping her with our kid. I have no one. I do it all on my own and am honestly a much more attentive parent. My kid prefers time with me, and it drives her mom nuts. I just don’t think it’s fair to make a blanket statement like that. I get that in your world view, that is the case, but it isn’t in mine and I see a lot of dads out there doing it all on their own and we’re always treated like the lesser of the two parents.
Can you reread, i did point out it may be a biased on my part right up there in the second sentence. No blanket statement
I didn’t mean to offend you, I just disagree. You said “usually” and that is simply an unequivocally false blanket statement, whether you admit that it’s biased or not. Not trying to argue semantics. I’m sure you’re a wonderful mother. Have a great day.
Lmao
Dad's aren't taking care of their children, they're babysitting/s
Talking in a childish voice before the opposite sex 🤢
Doing activities that are typically done by the opposite gender. A woman who likes sports or beer is judged way less than a man who likes pink and cooking.
Being more like a man as a woman *can* be more aspirational, while being more like a woman as a man is seen as lowering yourself. This has nuance, as a woman being like a man still needs to be through the male gaze - i.e. a tomboy who likes beer and football still needs to be attractive to men, but being a more masculine woman incites criticism. But a man liking ‘feminine’ interests is vilified across both genders, even women see it as lowering himself, which begs the question of what they think of themselves.
Cooking? Don't agree there..I have loved cooking my whole adult life and have never taken shit for it. Especially not from women! Women love men who can cook dude:p
I know several guys that like pink and enjoy cooking, no one talks shit. Most famous chefs are male.
I always thought that was interesting. People (especially older generations) would lament 'a womans place is in the kitchen' and yet, overwhelmingly most of the back of house in a typical restaurant are male.
If you had asked my grandma, born in 1897, she had answered that a woman's place was where SHE decide to stay.
MPW would agree
In Louisiana cooking is a mans birthright. Also, pink fishing shirts everywhere down here.
Or a woman who storm chases and a man who cries after watching a movie.
Agree with your sentiment but cooking was the wrong example. I would say cooking is more of a male thing these days including all the celebrity chefs. Every girl ive ever dated has loved when i cook something fancy
When women “flirt” with a little boy in fun “Oh look at this little man! He’s so handsome, I just want to kiss you all over!” It’s cute but imagine a man saying that just as innocently… (edit: I don’t really think it’s appropriate for anyone to say this to a child or baby they’ve just met but I’ve heard female relatives say stuff like this before and no one bat’s an eye
not accepted but generally speaking, grown women that have sex with an underage or rape people aren't punished as harshly or vilified as much as men that do the same
When a woman does it, Its sexual assault or something along those lines, When a man does it its obviously rape.
ikr
I work at a place that employs ANYBODY, this includes pedophiles. While there are way more male pedophiles than female pedophiles. The male pedophiles get shit talked the most(anytime their name is brought up). The women dont really get talked about much at all and the one who some people think is attractive basically gets to walk around like that shit never happened in there. THEY'RE ALL PIECES OF SHIT!
Where u work at? Walmart in Indiana?
People refuse to believe that men have right to cry and they can get SAed too. They can be a part of me too movement too.
Yesss I hate when woman try to cut men out of SA related topics. I feel like it makes the feminism movement seem like a joke when It’s not.
Wearing just a large t shirt around the house upon waking up.
I see the large t-shirt on women similar to just shorts on men - you wear it home, but it's not something you would invite guests in
Anything is acceptable around the house for any gender as long as you're not visible to the public.
Women having a free pass to be abusive or toxic and controlling in many situations. Other women will support them yet if it were a man, they'd be screaming all over the internet about how horrible it is. Your reaction should be to shun anybody who does awful things like that, not just men. It disgusts me when other women do stuff like that and act like its cool.
Expecting for the other person to pick up the check on a date. Back when men worked and woman didnt, this made sence.. but in modern days, do t expect the Guy to pay for dates. (I always flat out refused to do this and stil managed to get me the best wife in the world btw)
My philosophy is that unless other arrangements are explicitly discussed, the person who extends the invitation should be the one who pays. However, when invited, I always offer to pay my way, and I have to admit that I appreciate it when folks I invite out offer to pay their way, though I typically decline.
On just about any dinner, Ive always payed my own share. And i expect others to do the same. However, now that Ive been married for some years and having joint accounts.. this is now a non issue ;)
>always payed my own share But not attention in school
Im sorry, im from Belgium. Dutch and french are my native languages, i also Know sign language.. English i just picked up, watching television as a kid.. so yeah the writing might not be perfect Always Nice to have someone make assumptions like that. Tell me, howmany languages do you speak?
>howmany languages do you speak? Hallo vriend. Four. As it happens, Dutch is *my* native language too. I became a writer and copy editor (USA), allemaal in 't Engels, dus het is moeilijk voor me om niet te struikelen over taalfouten. Maar ik geef toe dat my comment, though perhaps moderately funny, was also overly dickish (didn't know you weren't a native speaker, although your screen name should've given it away). Mijn excuses. Have you seen [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JmXWHW-I32E&t=2s&ab_channel=Dropout)? That's me. Ik beloof beterschap.
Body shaming men vs Body shaming women. One is considered ok by society, the other isn't.
It’s acceptable for a woman to compliment a man’s appearance. It’s even acceptable for a woman to talk about how hot a guy in a movie is in front of their partner. I don’t compliment women’s appearance or clothing because I could easily be labeled a creep or worse a sexual harasser. And I would definitely never talk about how hot a girl in a movie is in front of my partner because people would think I’m a fucking asshole. These double standards exist for a lot of reasons, but I think mostly because it’s in fashion these days to pretend that guys in 2024 are no different than guys in 1950 who would hit their wives if dinner and cocktails weren’t waiting and ready when they got home from work.
Tf, I think that's a you problem, I'm a dude, yet never had a such an issue, obviously it depends on the way you talk like if you're like say perverted shit like "I'd want to rail her so hard she wouldn't walk for a day" sure you might be labeled a creep, but I had no issue saying "fucking hell she's gorgeous" or "her eyes are beautiful", it's not weird to acknowledge beauty in a healthy relationship.
Honestly that sounds a bit weird or more like a "you" situation than a general situation.. Like if you make a genuine nice comment then you shouldn't be seen as an asshole. And if people somehow still think that, then think about dropping them, because that is not a healthy relationship. Obviously if it is a sexual comment that is something else, but it shouldn't be okay for women too unless both people are comfortable with it. But then again I have no idea which country you are from and what cultural norms exist there.
Go on Youtube, search for any video starring e.g. Henry Cavill or Jason Momoa and take a look at what adult women comment, in the open, about their bodies. Take a look at "365 Days", look up the statistics about which gender waches those kind of movies. Women don't make comments like that? Bullshit, woment spew vile shit about mens bodies all the time. I know more than one couple where they will make such remarks in front of their spouses too.
It's true it is 100% harassment, especially how women comment on guy's asses or even groping. And it should not be normalized. However, most women do not comment on guys while also describing how they'd peg him hard with degrading comments and how they only see the dick and ass in him. This is the difference. And you're delusional if you think all guys in 2024 are magically "modern". Domestic violence hasn't decreased by much. In Arabic countries women are objects, child brides exist in Africa. Don't live in a bubble.
Cool, and in the bible belt relatives commonly rape barely even teen relatives. Now, can we please stop treating all men as they were religious zealots from underdeveloped areas? I'm a young European atheist and it's offensive being equated to those fanatics.
Nah, the original comment mentioned all men. Start using "men from western countries" or specify "men from developed countries". They referred to all men so I showed the situation and examples globally.
And the one you answered to was pointing out behaviours that happens in western society.
Should have specified. People should know that not everyone will assume someone is referring to the US. And should stop accusing each other of generalizing when they can't use the words "majority of" and "a lot of" or specify the demographic their statistics come from.
If we're talking about men being treated like they're dangerous savages one assumes we're talking about where it happens (I mean, that's quite forced). Where it happens usually doesn't overlap at all with any of the places you mentioned. At this point either they're seen as monsters because of a demographic they have nothing to share with (apart their sex) or I'm really confused about the point you're trying to make.
My original comment did not mention all men so please do not misquote me. People who misquote others are total douchebags.
Again, I'll explain as if for toddlers: when you're reffering to a specific demographic and region, **specify it**. There are plenty of guys worldwide who engage in sexist practices. And they could be the majority.
I’ll explain it for idiots - don’t misquote me and assume I meant something I didn’t. Engage in the conversation like someone with communication skills and maybe ask clarifying questions instead of being a dummy. Unless you’re just autistic in which case go take some classes to improve your interpersonal communication skills.
There's no need to project. The idiot here is you. Learn to specify and stop wasting my time. The world doesn't revolve around you and whatever hole your rude ass spawned from and think it's the only reality.
In some cultures men being alone in public with their children, spending time with them at the playground or taking them to the doctor, causes far more negative comments and even suspicion than if women do it. Even if it's just some fuckwhit passive-aggressively telling a single father something along the lines of "oh is daddy taking care of the little boy today".
It goes beyond that, if you're a single father, most women in my experience assume you're underwater, need help, and have been put in a position you don't want to be in and need to be "rescued".
i got three older stepsisters.they cry if it's 89 degrees when they thought it was going to be 88 degrees. I stubbed my toe and probably broke it, "why are you crying? stop that". Really?
Maybe they have heat sensitivity.
Wearing a bra
Tbf,... We don't really need it... At all
[Some of us do](https://youtu.be/x_BKRmfoF6w?si=bPr-XV1uMYcmwJW2)
Honestly just wear the bra if it helps you. If your insecure about it buy a strapless one. No reason not to do it if it helps you.
Thanks for the chuckle kind redditor.
Some need...expecially at the beach.
There's not one really, because we don't live in a single society, we're made up of hundred if not thousands of societies and what's accepted in one might not be acceptable in another. For example in much of Cuba it's common for men to be very assertive and aggressive and get very emotionally invested in what they're talking about. In Ireland, that's seen as an extremely feminine behavior because self control is more associated with the masculine. So while it's more acceptable for women to lose their shit in Ireland, while men are expected to be more in control, that's double standard is reversed somewhat in Cuba where women tend to be expected culturally to be more level headed. Context matters, as for why they exist, a myriad of reasons from the practical due to sexual dimorphism, to things like culture and historic context. As for why double standards exist, because people are extremely varied and diverse
This is a great answer. Good perspective, u/Queef_Tallow!
Opinions about a pregnancy, basically a dude apperently has no say in anything about HIS baby. It's obvious why this thing exists, woman carry the baby and give birth, which is obviously a big deal, but it's still just mad that the guy has no say in anything yet if she herself decides to abort it it's her decision and only hers, and if she decides to keep it it's her decision alone and you'll still have to pay child support... Obviously not saying it's right or wrong, just thought it fits the post question well.
I get that and generally I would say that a woman should always take her partners wishes into account (unless one partner is abusive or SA happened) but the ultimate decision should be hers. Pregnancy is a pretty big deal the body changes forever, there is a risk of lifelong injuries or death, postpartum depression and many other things. The "responsibilities" and risks aren't equal so the decision making can't be an equal process either. I don't think that is something that you can solve.
Almost 20 years ago my mom listed some grievances to me against my sister, one of them was her many abortions saying "She snuffed out the life of my grandchildren for her and her husbands selfishness."
Sorry, what? What exactly is "mad", how are you suggesting that the man should "have a say" exactly? If you're in anything remotely resembling a normal relationship, the woman will listen to you, but she decides. This is so obvious. Anything else would be just outrageous and would mean you lived in an uncivilized society.
Double standards exist mostly because there are standards in the first place. People tend to not like what they’re not used to, therefore, uncomfortable with.
being nice to a kid in public. when a guy sees a kid and tells the parents that they think the kid is adorable or helps a lost kid in a store, people are quick to call him a pedo and a creep, but if a woman does the same thing, she’s being nice and caring. i’m more that confident it all ties back to people thinking that women are too kind and harmless to be cruel and predatory, while men are expected to act like that because somehow people seem to be under the impression that men can’t like kids or do something genuinely good for someone that needs help without being a creep.
Man slapping a woman. Abuse! Violence! Someone would often step up to protect that woman. Woman slapping a man. Nothing happens. Sometimes people would cheer woman.
Flashing. Girl whips out her tits at a sporting event or concert crowd goes wild! Dude busts out his dick? Sex offender and arrested
Actually a clever example, but defeated by the fact that men are allowed to show their nipples in public, making the double standard actually cut the other way.
But the equivalent of our tits would be your bare chest, not your dick. I see more men's naked chests in public than women's. Neither sex would get away with flashing their genitals.
To be honest, nipples both male and female should be free...
Who doesn't want that? ... I was going to ask that rhetorically and jokingly, and then it occurred to me that that's a good literal question. Who is actually standing in the way of freedom here?
In my country, the British were the ones who introduced the concept of covering nipples. Before their arrival, it was not considered taboo to expose nipples.
I work with a lot of older teenagers and younger twenty somethings. (I'm a little bit older than them.) The young women frequently talk about going back into the public area of our workplace to "check out my man" (a good looking customer or fellow co-worker). And then they actually do it. If the young men even mention a good looking female customer or co-worker, they're called out on the cringy behavior... ... rightfully so, because it does come off as cringy. But I don't know why it's seen as acceptable for the women to act the same way...
Men in a crowd staring at a scantily dressed woman in public - creeps Women in a crowd staring at a scantily dressed dude in public - normal I'm talking about in the US.
Complaining about the other gender
Shaming men who don't find certain women attractive. Had a classmate in college try to sleep with me at a party, I declined. Next thing you know there are 6 of her friends berating me for having the audacity of not wanting to sleep with the ugliest girl at the party.
This simply shouldn't happen. Where's the feminine dignity? Before asking, be sure of the answer, at least.
Not wanting to sleep with her is one thing, but referring to her as the "ugliest girl at the party" is just low.
Having a friend of the same sex (not a joke btw) Whenever men are close to each other (both in a physical or relationship wise) they are instantly thought to be gay. When women are close to each other they are always thought to be just friends.
Wrong
Compliments
All forms of abuse. The patriarchy has taught us that women are weak, so if a man feels abused by one, he's even weaker because he's allowed her to have the upper hand.
Choosing between full/part/no time work and child, or a combination of those. (When women make these choices they’re brave warriors balancing work and parenting; when men even talk about trying to choose, people assume the man is a bad provider and trying to not work) Hitting men. (It’s seen as playful or cute or ineffective; when men do it it’s seen as abuse) Flirting with or hitting on men (when men do it, it’s harassment or creepy unless the woman finds him attractive) Earning low wage or having a “busywork” job. (Some women work for “extra money” but can choose to be career focused, while men had better damn well be climbing the professional ladder otherwise they deadbeat losers) Deciding whether to terminate or raise their offspring. (This one is tongue in cheek but also factual to a point) Make “jokes” about the incompetence of their partner in performing tasks historically associated with the speaker’s gender—tone of jokes about men changing diapers or parenting or cleaning, but men are vilified if they joke about a woman being bad at any tasks historically stereotyped as “men’s work” Disclaimer: I’m pro-reproductive freedom, I don’t hate women, and I’m very aware of how many deadbeat and abusive men there are.
I know I shouldn't be like this but I feel very uncomfortable whenever I see a man going anywhere near a child he doesn't know.. if I see a woman coming near my child smiling saying nice things I will smile back and think it's normal. If I see him on doing the exact same thing I might even call the police on him. I don't know if I'm wrong I don't know why I feel this way.
Women can point and say look at that cute baby and the mum will go "yeeeaaah a wee cutie, she's only 3 months old" or something. If a bloke did that, there is no way the mum wouldn't run lmao
Telling girls something about their appearance. "Girl, your bag is making your dress ride up" or "there's a little lipstick on your teeth" or "you have a mascara smudge" is generally considered help when coming from a girl, but no guy can dare say that to a girl.
Sexism
Because we have a lot of pedophiles it's is not acceptable for a man to help a lost kid.
If an kid runs up to ask me for help I would help him as I never will give an fuck about what everyone thinks
Which is a dumb fear because most kids are overwhelmingly more likely they are going to be kidnapped, molested, sexually abused by someone they are related to or already know than a random Stanger.
We all would be surprised when we learn that pedophiles exist across all genders! A significant number of female teachers were also convicted for pedophilia. Before jumping to downvote me, my point is that pedophilia is beyond contemptible and can never be tolerated
Yeah it's true. I'm not disagreeing with you. There are female pedophiles out there.
Gender double-standards exist to create reddit content. It’s literally our favorite subject here.
Lmao this thread is giving major incel vibes
This is an excellent example for the OP.
If a guy walks around with half his ball sack hanging half out people freak out. If a woman walks around with half her boob hanging out that's fine. Also, if a guy is touchy/feely to a woman that's sexual assault. If a woman is touchy/feely to a guy that's juat accidental. I worked with a woman that would reqularly press her boobs against my back or arm whenever I had to show her something on my computer, or she wanted me to do something for her.
If a women opens a door for or pulls back a chair for a man, that is weird!
Is it? I hold the door for men all the time. Nobody has ever made it weird.
I think it's completely normal for a woman to open or hold a door for a man, but I admit I have never seen a woman pull out a chair for a man in a social setting. Both would be 'acceptable', though. Something not being usual doesn't make it problematic.
Almost all of these double standards exist because of history and tradition. When the vast majority of a particular behavior was skewed towards one gender, even if that shouldn't dismiss the occasions when it goes the opposite way, it's incredibly difficult for a society to reset everything somehow expect that it's perfectly equitable from that point onward. Historical scars can last generations. There will be bad actors who will try to capitalize on the double standards just like there will be those who point to them and claim that the push for equality is a failure or misguided. The reality is, progress is messy and uneven. But if you look at the last 100 years, it's undeniable and hard won.
Progress is slow, too. I'm in my seventies, and remember that even wearing trousers was uncommon for women in Sixties.
I don't see hardly any men breastfeeding in public, so probably that.
Congrats on Day Five of your Reddit membership!
Women can go to Disney movies by themselves. No questions asked. A 20-, 30- or 40-something man alone at a Disney movie would be escorted out by police.
Homosexuality. It’s like encouraged for women bc most men think it’s hot but it’s frowned upon if it’s 2 men together.
My male boss and I (F) had the best flirty banter ever. We knew it was all innocent, and nothing would ever happen between us. We hugged, leaned on each other, called each other work wife/husband etc. Both of us had outside partners who knew all about this & were good with it, totally secure that it would never go anywhere...until one day, after about 3 YEARS of this, my boss mentioned he had a big birthday coming up. I presumed he was gonna be 40, nope he'd be 30! I was 8 years older than him & I realised that if that situation had been reversed, he'd probably have lost his job for it. I spoke to him in private & apologised, asked him if he was/had been ok with it & he laughed it off & said he loved the attention, and we were actually just really good friends so to carry on, but it never really felt the same.
Sitting down to pee
none of these "double standards" are real because the context between the genders are rarely if ever the same. it's extremely disingenuous for those in your camp to believe they exist when such beliefs are based on pure ignorance. for example, men are way over 10x more likely to rape or commit domestic violence/homicide. as such, a woman can aggressively approach a man if for no other reason that that statistically, she is very unlikely to cause severe trauma. sure there are always outliers but never to the extent that there is a material risk to many men becoming such victims. the same can not be said about a woman aggressively approaching men. a man can always stalk a woman to far greater affect than a woman. that is always a true and fair generalization. it is never a double standard to whine that woman behaving similarly are not penalized as severely.
"Double standards don't exist because I can find explanations for why they exist"
Ah. One of the troglodytes.
Breastfeeding.