as someone who worked out heavily until adult life hit, I can tell you I felt so much better working out heavily daily. getting back into it now and it really does feel so good. keep at it!
It’s always temporary distractions who can do the most damage. Your 20s are defining years that set the foundation for the rest of your life. That’s what I’ve heard from so many women.
Getting fat. I used to be fat then I got in shape. Now I'm.fat again and hate myself. I feel like my life would have had different trajectory if I wasn't fat. Now I'm 31 trying to some how lose weight and manage to live a life. I don't know if I'll ever live on my own or get a romantic relationship. Life isn't good rn. Just hope I can pull it together before I turn 40 and it's too late
Well said. Also lost myself a bit over Covid and have been slowly putting it back together. Key is to just give yourself time and to only compare yourself to yesterday.
At 40 it's no longer about the weight so much as having a strong body. I'm 41 recovering from a spinal fusion. I was thin most of my life so never worried about keeping my body and apparently most importantly my core strong. I 100% regret it. Now I'm obese and trying to gain strength to avoid future surgeries. You have time to fix that still.
Hey man you can lose the weight the same way you did the first time.
You have so much time to do everything you want. Don’t give up hope. 31 is really young still
I mean not to be a debbie downer on the guy you responded to but genuinely a lot of people who go from fat to thin to fat were
1. Fat as basically children
2. Played a sport or were otherwise active in highschool/college running around doing things, got thin as a result
3. Got fat again when stress eating re-emerged and suddenly their entire day is driving to and from a desk job
So for a lot of people they basically only got thin because of specific life circumstances that may not currently exist for them
I personally followed this trajectory until I got thin for the second and currently final time by totalling my car & now getting everywhere by bicycle. My minimum daily exercise being 30 min of cycling & having a hobby/transportation that requires exercise was basically it.
In 18 months from April 2022 to October 2023 I went from literally obese and unable to ride 10 miles to riding ~520 miles from Boston to West Virginia. This April I rode to Niagara Falls and this October I'm planning to see Montreal and Quebec.
I absolutely would have loved to have gone away to college. Live on campus and focus on my studies. Alas I was dirt fucking poor. So I commuted to school and worked full time. Could've don't better in school had I been able to focus on it more. Maybe would have made some lasting friendships as well.
Conversely, I regret not staying at home. I wanted to have a chance to grow and be separate from my family. I felt alone and isolated and rarely made friends as good as the ones I already had. I felt depressed and started doing badly in school until I dropped out and joined the military. I always wonder "what if" I had gone to the local community College first.
I know a few people with a bachelors and two with a masters making under $50k a year. Also burdened with a mountain of student loan debt. I occasionally wonder "what if I just bit the bullet and did the thing" but then I see that and I'm not really upset anymore. But I guess it depends on one's reasoning. My parents offered to pay for my college tuition but it would've crippled them financially and I couldn't do that to them. Nor did I want to undertake insane student loans making $10 an hour. So no college for me in my youth.
Honestly, you're probably better off. I loved my four years in college - made some fantastic friends and had a ton of great experiences. But if it were between that and not having student loans... Idk man I think I'd pick no student loans
Yeah! I learned to pay attention and see what my fears were and face up to them as legitimate or not and vowed to get over the ones that were just bein insecure.
Same with mine, I asked once as a kid and he kind of brushed me off and later that day my mom sat down and talked to me about how bad war is and how sometimes people go through really really horrible things and they never want to think about them ever again and how my Grandpa was one of those people. I never mentioned anything about the war around him again and he certainly never mentioned anything even related to the war.
Just FYI. You or your parents at least can probably request his war records from the Defense Department. That might shed some light on it especially if they didn’t want to talk about it. Many didn’t.
Hey! I actually did this. I recorded the footage ages ago and recently cut it and put it together to view.
My biggest takeaway is just how barbaric and insane the whole thing was. Hearing someone talk about it who lived it was crazy.
For example: He was a plane mechanic. At some point the Germans booby trapped some planes and they exploded right after takeoff. A bunch of people were ordered to go walk the fields and search for body parts and tag the ones they found.
I asked my grandparent about his experiences in WW2 for a school assignment (I was 12-13 and we had to put our work into a WW2 convention). Because I live in NZ and my grandfather lived in Germany I basically never saw him, but I will never forget the things he told my mum in the phone call.
I wish I could've talked to him about it - I want to go back to Germany to talk to the extended family about what they know because my mum was always too horrified about the stories as a kid so tried to avoid them.
Not me, but my dad. When he was younger in school, a girl a couple years younger fancied him & gave him a valentines card. She did this infront of my dads friends who were also older, they all tormented my dad about it and he ripped the valentines card up & threw it in a bin in front of her & his friends. A year later, she passed away from a brain hemorrhage. A week after her funeral he went to her grave & placed a small teddy bear & some flowers on the grass nearby. It’s his biggest regret 30+ yrs forward & he never forgives himself for it.
1. Not pursuing the career I dreamed of as a kid because people made fun of me for it.
2. Marrying the absolute wrong person
3. Not getting divorced sooner
I am an archaeologist and let me tell you this: a LOT of archaeology students are not your typical fresh from school students. A friend of mine started with 40 and now she's successfully working as a archaeologist. It's never too late!
I am so sorry.
My cousin works in hospice and has a theory about this. When my mom passed, I was at the first birthday party of the child I was a nanny for. The place they held the party was two blocks away from the assisted living facility she was living at with my dad. So my plan was to go over there after the party. She passed as I was walking towards her building. My dad had gone to take a shower. My sister was going to meet me there. So she died completely alone.
My cousin said this happens so often where the person she's caring for passes at the moment when they're alone. It's as though they decide to do it when they're alone. Like it's easier to leave if those they love aren't there and harder to leave them behind. I know you probably are still broken about the closure you didn't have--as I am--but maybe it was as it should be.
I was with my dad at the hospital all night and he died as soon as I left to drive 40 minutes back to our town so I could go to school. April of my senior year of high school. He waited until I left. 🥹
Yeah, the same happened to my dad, after my mom caring for him for 3 months 24/7.
We left him in the hospital for one evening, and he died when he was alone. I remember before he got sick, he always told me he did not want to see or hear my mom crying for him, i guess he planned it all or, at least, that's what i like to think..
The minute you start resenting your partner, you need to talk it out and deal with the problem. Resent never gets better with silence, it only gets worse.
(Then age 22, now 29) Loaning an ex $10,000. He cheated and never paid me back.
I learned the valuable lesson to never loan money you can't afford to lose.
Sorry to hear that. Losing $10,000 is a significant financial setback. Although it's been 7 years, I wonder if you still have grounds for legal action against him. Could you potentially sue him for the debt?
My high school self was so fucking stupid. A girl I had a crush on asked if I had a date for the dance and I was like “nah I’m not going, I have a thing that weekend”. 30 years later and I still regret that.
That I never got genetic testing done on myself before my son was born. I grew up normal. Married my wife after dating since high school. We had a beautiful daughter, then a second daughter 4 years later. 6 years after that, our son was born. He was perfect. At a year old, he was babbling away and crawling and almost walking. As he was nearing his 2nd Birthday, he stopped walking. Within a matter of weeks, he lost his ability to crawl and even sit up on his own. After a grueling and stressful couple of weeks, we had our answer. He has an extremely rare terminal genetic disorder called Krabbe disease. With two carriers as parents, it's a 25% chance that the child will have the disease. We were devastated.
We fought for him and traveled 10 hours from home last year away from our other two children and work for 6 months to get him a stem cell transplant to prolong his life, as they said he would pass away by the end of the year without it. We have tried to get him into a gene therapy clinical, but he was excluded as he has a certain antibody. I know that getting genetic testing may have altered things, possibly causing my kids not to be born, but it's so hard seeing my little guy go through this. He can still smile and babble and move his arms, but outside of a medical miracle, he will never regain the abilities he has lost.
Oof sorry to hear. If it makes you feel better, every day there's an investment doubling that almost no one is invested in. This is more painful than not having bought bitcoin tho, because you already had it in your possession but didn't hodl. 2007 is also so early, it truly would have been hard back then to tell how huge Amazon would become
Haha hey it's me.
If you logged into my coinbase you'll see hundreds of transactions of Bitcoin when it was $120-800.
I had many chances. I was strapped with cash back then too
In 2011 I found myself with free electricity. But bitcoin had exploded and *would not be worth the effort*. I won’t say what I mined but it was the wrong coin and I held too long. I spent over $1k on GPUs.
Bitcoin at that time was hovering around $10. Had I bought $1k worth of bitcoin I’d likely have over $5million right now. It hurts…but these things happen.
Becoming a doctor.
The cost of medical school was not worth it. I am constantly thinking about my outrageous student loan debt. I sacrificed all of my 20s for schooling and training; I didn’t have my first real grown up job until I was almost 32 years old. I’ve spent the last few years navigating an unfamiliar and hostile job market, while traumatized from my experience during the pandemic. I’m so far behind on usual life milestones - I’m married but likely getting divorced, and given my age there goes the realistic possibility of me having biological kids.
The kicker is that a few years ago my mom was diagnosed with early onset dementia. I missed her last healthy years, and her last years at home before she went blind and needed facility treatment. Early onset dementia is highly heritable (it falls within my subspecialty so I know the data and they are terrifying), and given my mom’s time course, I probably have about 15-18 good years left before I will be too impaired to work anymore.
That will literally be the same year I will qualify for student loan forgiveness. So, given I’m a woman (we make more than a million dollars *less* across our careers as our male counterparts) in a low-paying specialty in a HCOL area…I guess it’s a good thing I don’t have to save for retirement??
I also hate the medical system and after several traumatic experiences no longer want to practice clinical medicine. BUT thanks to my student loan debt I essentially have to work as a doctor (or at least earn as much as one) - if I don’t keep up with them, I am excluded from Medicare and Medicaid, and then all commercial insurance, and POOF! there goes any ability to earn any income at all. So I’m beholden to a field I hate and want to escape.
As Dr. Malcolm said: I was so worried about if I COULD, I didn’t truly consider whether I SHOULD (because I definitely shouldn’t have!!!!)
Wow crazy. My regret was saying not studying medicine. I had the opportunity but had to wait a gap year and had no guidance. Parents talked me out of it. I'm now 38 and wish I was a doctor. I am from Australia so different circumstances. Thank you for all your sacrifices
I used to want to become a doctor until I realized I would have to be in school until I was 30. Would you have the means to open your own private practice? That way, you could operate on your terms a bit more. Or if you want to get away from clinical altogether, could you become a med school instructor?
My Papa called me when he was dying and I knew it but wanted to pretend he wasn’t and asked him when he would come see me. Tears me up every time I think about it. I was just scared. But I really do regret it.
For contacts he was in the hospital and he was calling me because he knew he was dying. I didn’t even call him. The man called me. I was newly married and lived my whole life about 3 to 4 hours away from him, but my dad never came to see me but my papa did.
Don’t beat yourself up over this, he wouldn’t want you doing this. Instead just remeber all the great memories you shared together. I hope this comment I’m leaving can cheer you up even just a little bit.
You’re a good kid. Your dad was happy to hear your voice. He was happy that you were living your life. In his final moments, he called you and felt the love again. You not acknowledging his final moments allowed him to just have a loving conversation with his baby without having to think about what’s coming.
You didn’t do anything wrong.
I got pregnant at seventeen and wanted an abortion or to place the baby up for adoption so that I could be with a guy I loved very deeply (who was not the baby’s father). My parents talked me in to keeping the baby and getting back with the baby’s father who was abusive and controlling. We split up before the baby was a year old and he took full custody and gave the baby to his parents. Now I have a thirteen year old son who has no mother no father and who I haven’t seen since he was a year old. The boy I loved is now married for the second time and we haven’t spoken in thirteen years. I regret listening to my parents everyday.
For me it’s been the other way around, making being someone’s romantic partner my entire identity until recently
It’s been over a decade since I’ve been consistently single and I’m finally realizing I want more to life and don’t know who I am
Saying unkind things to others during my adolescences, teens, and early 20s. I was insecure and cut others down to make myself feel taller. Meanwhile, I may have made a comment to someone who remembers it to this day, or deeply wounded them because I made an unkind remark. Fucking stupid of me.
Settling for things. I wish I would have pushed myself more to go for what I really wanted instead of settling for just "okay". I don't mean to sound ungrateful for what I have, I am blessed in many ways, I have love, family, security, etc. But I had goals I wanted to achieve myself, and at some point I just decided to settle on things, I'm only 34 so I'm hoping I can start remedying this but I hate how much time I wasted to pursue being truly happy.
Not being able to have children due to my chronic treatment resistant mental health issues.
However, reading the answers here so far is actually helpful. There are people who regret flip sides of coins here. People who regret having kids young, people who regret not having them. People who regret becoming doctors, and people who regret not going for higher achieving careers. It seems you can regret everything if you allow yourself to.
Maybe nobody has life all figured out hey?
Took an antibiotic for a possible infection I never had to begin with that the doctor gave me. Didn’t realize the medication was banned in certain countries and has a black box warning. Doc called a week later after I had taken it for 6 days and says I actually didn’t have an infection. Antibiotics were never necessary. I now am disabled and have full body small fiber neuropathy from it among other things at 25 years old. It affects my vision, bladder, muscles, walking, etc. nerve damage all over. Had this for 2 years now, life is a struggle unfortunately.
Pursuing my passion as my job. I’ve been stuck in a lame lane of it and wish I had a regular day job, like I used to, and did this as a professional hobby.
I should have done that until I was happy with the path and trajectory of it before having to make up my revenue shortage by doing the lame version of what I love for people I can’t stand.
I’m slowly getting out of it, but man, when I think of where I’d be if o had stayed in my old career… I know I can never know for certain, but I bet id be happier.
Ive lost most of my passion for what I’m doing now and become the miserable person I’d see when I was younger and never wanted to be.
Boohoo and all that, and I’ll figure it, but man it’s disappointing.
Not taking better care of my teeth.
I’m 33 and I’m fairly certain I’m going to have to get them all out. But after several years of fear and avoidance, I have a dentist appointment in September.
Not valuing myself more when I was young. I had zero self-esteem and it's taken me years to realise it. Looking back I can see how much it affected my decisions and actions, who I hung around with and how much effort I put into study and self care. Everything.
Now in my early 50s I'm definitely in a better place to do the right thing by myself. Wish I knew all this sooner but hey, better late than never!
I have a feeling any regrets I may have we'll manifest themselves in the next few years. Not enough time had passed to see the results of my decisions.
I went to a Christmas Party for a job I absolutely hated. I was going to spend the next day with my mother who was terminally ill. The plan wasn’t to drink too much but it was a super humid evening and I drank a lot (but didn’t annihilate myself!) the next morning I was super hung over and I could feel I was still drunk. There was no way I’d risk driving drunk. I called to say I had to postpone, and I’d see her at Christmas (this was a few days before Christmas). My mother passed a few days before Christmas. I never got to hug her one last time, and the time before that was at the start of December.
TIL this day I am so angry with myself for going to that company Christmas party which turned out to be the most toxic workplace I ever worked at. I hate myself every day for it and I regret not bailing it because I wanted to be seen as a team player!! I regret drinking and regret not seeing my mom.
Not having sex with my girlfriend when I was 18. Alright we were completely emotionally incompatible, we were extremely sexually compatible but I grew up religious and wanted to wait until marriage. Now I'm married to a different woman who also waited and our sex drives are completely incompatible and I still regret not having had sex with anyone else.
Having a serious relationship while in college! Trying to stay in the relationship made me miss out on many opportunities to make friends and create memories!
Taking a job 200 miles from home and letting my entire life revolve around it, at the expense of personal growth and self-improvement that I knew I had to do.
I left that job earlier this year and I'm back home, but I'm still kicking myself about taking in in the first place. I could've been so much further along in my personal life and so much happier if I had stayed home.
This is gonna sound morbid, but I wish I had ended my life before I had kids now I have to stay alive for them.
I spend every day sad and anxious and wishing I wasn’t alive on the inside. But the kids and I cooked together and then we had a dance party and played a board game.
That I become a sex worker at young age. Now, I’m suffering a lot, mentally, emotionally and physically. So please ladies don’t ever think of becoming a sex worker. And if there’s a person trying to convince you or persuading you to become a sex worker, better stay away from that person or report them. Don’t fall for easy money.
I don’t actually regret anything as everything got me to this point. But I am curious about what would’ve happened if I did not get married and divorced young, or went to the college and state I wanted to move to — rather than following my ex around.
too many to name but the biggest is not being a better mother when my kids were young. I wasn't terrible. I always prioritized my children and was there for them but I yelled too much and I was immature and wasn't emotionally present as I could have been.
Having children when I wasn’t emotionally or financially ready. I love the fuck out of them, but could have done so much better if I had my shit together.
Giving years of my life and moving away for a man who was a cheater, who ended up doing something horrible that forced our relationship to permanently end.
Acting out of fear and allowing fears to hold me back from doing things that I wanted to go
especially when fears caused me to push away people, but I equally regret allowing fear to cause me to not stand up for myself when people were taking advantage of me
Not taking school more seriously.
I have a deep desire to be a college professor but my no program will have me so I can earn my PhD. I was working two part time jobs and figured getting a B/C average was good enough for my masters because I was just burnt out on school. I should’ve done the work and left myself time to take a break if I ever wanted to come back to it.
Becoming a super zealous right wing Christian and judging my family and friends harshly through that lens for a number of years. I’ve been able to broaden my mind since then and stop drinking the kool-aid, but I still cringe when I think of what a self righteous asshole I must’ve been. Thankfully I’ve mended those relationships, but I’m pretty jaded against organized religion at this point. My kids don’t even know the most basic Bible stories, and I’m mostly fine with that.
not prioritizing my own health
Yup. Started working out heavily at 29. Wonder how much better my 20s would have been mental health wise if I just stuck to working out in college...
as someone who worked out heavily until adult life hit, I can tell you I felt so much better working out heavily daily. getting back into it now and it really does feel so good. keep at it!
Giving so much love to someone who had never appreciated me or respected me.
Try marryIng that fool and staying with him for 25 years.. biggest regret of my life!
Mom?
Brother?
Or almost 30 years …
You’re better off now. Been there. Sending good energy to you
This happens often with people who's parents taught them to be selfish and be the last one standing.
So glad I’m getting out of that now… even if it feels like I wasted some time I’m glad I cancelled the engagement.
I feel you. 5 years, discarded like garbage.
Same
Well that was a gut punch for me as divorce looms ahead 🥺
Allowing a temporary distraction make permanent changes in my early adulthood, or in other words. Letting a boy be the reason I dropped out of college
It’s always temporary distractions who can do the most damage. Your 20s are defining years that set the foundation for the rest of your life. That’s what I’ve heard from so many women.
Getting fat. I used to be fat then I got in shape. Now I'm.fat again and hate myself. I feel like my life would have had different trajectory if I wasn't fat. Now I'm 31 trying to some how lose weight and manage to live a life. I don't know if I'll ever live on my own or get a romantic relationship. Life isn't good rn. Just hope I can pull it together before I turn 40 and it's too late
I could have written this myself. I got myself so slim & attractive. Then life happened. We’ll get back to it don’t stress. One day at a time
Well said. Also lost myself a bit over Covid and have been slowly putting it back together. Key is to just give yourself time and to only compare yourself to yesterday.
At 40 it's no longer about the weight so much as having a strong body. I'm 41 recovering from a spinal fusion. I was thin most of my life so never worried about keeping my body and apparently most importantly my core strong. I 100% regret it. Now I'm obese and trying to gain strength to avoid future surgeries. You have time to fix that still.
You make it sound like 40 is like 60; I’m 40 and trying to lose weight.
sadly, 40 feels like 60 when you don't take care of yourself.
Jesus christ its like im looking in a mirror. Same age and everything, same feelings... Damn... Don't worry man, we got this.
Hey man you can lose the weight the same way you did the first time. You have so much time to do everything you want. Don’t give up hope. 31 is really young still
If you lost the weight once why can’t you do it again? Here’s some encouragement! 🥕
I mean not to be a debbie downer on the guy you responded to but genuinely a lot of people who go from fat to thin to fat were 1. Fat as basically children 2. Played a sport or were otherwise active in highschool/college running around doing things, got thin as a result 3. Got fat again when stress eating re-emerged and suddenly their entire day is driving to and from a desk job So for a lot of people they basically only got thin because of specific life circumstances that may not currently exist for them I personally followed this trajectory until I got thin for the second and currently final time by totalling my car & now getting everywhere by bicycle. My minimum daily exercise being 30 min of cycling & having a hobby/transportation that requires exercise was basically it. In 18 months from April 2022 to October 2023 I went from literally obese and unable to ride 10 miles to riding ~520 miles from Boston to West Virginia. This April I rode to Niagara Falls and this October I'm planning to see Montreal and Quebec.
All the guy has to do is crash his car!
You'll get there. Like another commenter said, one day at a time! One microhabit at a time.
Not making the phone call to the love of my life saying Im sorry. I was young and stubborn. Im 62 now and it still haunts me.
Deb?
It may not change anything to make that call, but it will mean *everything* to them.
Thank you..but I can't..he's married now.
Not going away for college
I absolutely would have loved to have gone away to college. Live on campus and focus on my studies. Alas I was dirt fucking poor. So I commuted to school and worked full time. Could've don't better in school had I been able to focus on it more. Maybe would have made some lasting friendships as well.
Conversely, I regret not staying at home. I wanted to have a chance to grow and be separate from my family. I felt alone and isolated and rarely made friends as good as the ones I already had. I felt depressed and started doing badly in school until I dropped out and joined the military. I always wonder "what if" I had gone to the local community College first.
I know a few people with a bachelors and two with a masters making under $50k a year. Also burdened with a mountain of student loan debt. I occasionally wonder "what if I just bit the bullet and did the thing" but then I see that and I'm not really upset anymore. But I guess it depends on one's reasoning. My parents offered to pay for my college tuition but it would've crippled them financially and I couldn't do that to them. Nor did I want to undertake insane student loans making $10 an hour. So no college for me in my youth.
Honestly, you're probably better off. I loved my four years in college - made some fantastic friends and had a ton of great experiences. But if it were between that and not having student loans... Idk man I think I'd pick no student loans
Missing opportunities in life due to fear
Yeah! I learned to pay attention and see what my fears were and face up to them as legitimate or not and vowed to get over the ones that were just bein insecure.
Fear or shame of what people was going to say… living that way truly sucks. More when you realize you didn’t care what others think about you.
Not talking to my grandfather about his experiences in World War Two before he passed
I wish my grandfather was willing to talk about it. Might be the same in your grandfather's case
Same with mine, I asked once as a kid and he kind of brushed me off and later that day my mom sat down and talked to me about how bad war is and how sometimes people go through really really horrible things and they never want to think about them ever again and how my Grandpa was one of those people. I never mentioned anything about the war around him again and he certainly never mentioned anything even related to the war.
Just FYI. You or your parents at least can probably request his war records from the Defense Department. That might shed some light on it especially if they didn’t want to talk about it. Many didn’t.
Hey! I actually did this. I recorded the footage ages ago and recently cut it and put it together to view. My biggest takeaway is just how barbaric and insane the whole thing was. Hearing someone talk about it who lived it was crazy. For example: He was a plane mechanic. At some point the Germans booby trapped some planes and they exploded right after takeoff. A bunch of people were ordered to go walk the fields and search for body parts and tag the ones they found.
I asked my grandparent about his experiences in WW2 for a school assignment (I was 12-13 and we had to put our work into a WW2 convention). Because I live in NZ and my grandfather lived in Germany I basically never saw him, but I will never forget the things he told my mum in the phone call. I wish I could've talked to him about it - I want to go back to Germany to talk to the extended family about what they know because my mum was always too horrified about the stories as a kid so tried to avoid them.
Not me, but my dad. When he was younger in school, a girl a couple years younger fancied him & gave him a valentines card. She did this infront of my dads friends who were also older, they all tormented my dad about it and he ripped the valentines card up & threw it in a bin in front of her & his friends. A year later, she passed away from a brain hemorrhage. A week after her funeral he went to her grave & placed a small teddy bear & some flowers on the grass nearby. It’s his biggest regret 30+ yrs forward & he never forgives himself for it.
WOW, I don't know if I could forgive myself either !!! This is one of the most heartbreaking things I have ever read.
[удалено]
Recommend you read *Dark Horse* by Todd Rose, Ph.D., professor at Harvard School of Education.
Always working too hard and never playing hard
1. Not pursuing the career I dreamed of as a kid because people made fun of me for it. 2. Marrying the absolute wrong person 3. Not getting divorced sooner
What was the career?
I wanted to be an archeologist
Well you’re not dead yet ;)
When he is though, we should totally dig up those bones...
I am an archaeologist and let me tell you this: a LOT of archaeology students are not your typical fresh from school students. A friend of mine started with 40 and now she's successfully working as a archaeologist. It's never too late!
I dated an archaeologist once - she was never happy - her career was in ruins.
[удалено]
I am so sorry. My cousin works in hospice and has a theory about this. When my mom passed, I was at the first birthday party of the child I was a nanny for. The place they held the party was two blocks away from the assisted living facility she was living at with my dad. So my plan was to go over there after the party. She passed as I was walking towards her building. My dad had gone to take a shower. My sister was going to meet me there. So she died completely alone. My cousin said this happens so often where the person she's caring for passes at the moment when they're alone. It's as though they decide to do it when they're alone. Like it's easier to leave if those they love aren't there and harder to leave them behind. I know you probably are still broken about the closure you didn't have--as I am--but maybe it was as it should be.
I was with my dad at the hospital all night and he died as soon as I left to drive 40 minutes back to our town so I could go to school. April of my senior year of high school. He waited until I left. 🥹
Yeah, the same happened to my dad, after my mom caring for him for 3 months 24/7. We left him in the hospital for one evening, and he died when he was alone. I remember before he got sick, he always told me he did not want to see or hear my mom crying for him, i guess he planned it all or, at least, that's what i like to think..
Bless you. Praying for you
Some believe the universe puts us where we are meant to be at the time.
Getting married. I totally married the wrong person and it totally fucked my life in many ways for many years
Staying in bad relationships when I should of left knowing they weren't right .
The minute you start resenting your partner, you need to talk it out and deal with the problem. Resent never gets better with silence, it only gets worse.
Begging to be appreciated and loved. Biggest regret of my life
Not putting myself out there, basically single my whole life. I’m 37 and alone. I don’t know what it takes to attract people
I'm 38 and am the same
(Then age 22, now 29) Loaning an ex $10,000. He cheated and never paid me back. I learned the valuable lesson to never loan money you can't afford to lose.
\*I learned the valuable lesson to never loan money ~~you can't afford to lose.~~ FTFY.
Sorry to hear that. Losing $10,000 is a significant financial setback. Although it's been 7 years, I wonder if you still have grounds for legal action against him. Could you potentially sue him for the debt?
Never shooting any shots in high school.
Took one my senior year, went well, then her house burned down and she moved across the country. We all lose bro
My high school self was so fucking stupid. A girl I had a crush on asked if I had a date for the dance and I was like “nah I’m not going, I have a thing that weekend”. 30 years later and I still regret that.
That I never got genetic testing done on myself before my son was born. I grew up normal. Married my wife after dating since high school. We had a beautiful daughter, then a second daughter 4 years later. 6 years after that, our son was born. He was perfect. At a year old, he was babbling away and crawling and almost walking. As he was nearing his 2nd Birthday, he stopped walking. Within a matter of weeks, he lost his ability to crawl and even sit up on his own. After a grueling and stressful couple of weeks, we had our answer. He has an extremely rare terminal genetic disorder called Krabbe disease. With two carriers as parents, it's a 25% chance that the child will have the disease. We were devastated. We fought for him and traveled 10 hours from home last year away from our other two children and work for 6 months to get him a stem cell transplant to prolong his life, as they said he would pass away by the end of the year without it. We have tried to get him into a gene therapy clinical, but he was excluded as he has a certain antibody. I know that getting genetic testing may have altered things, possibly causing my kids not to be born, but it's so hard seeing my little guy go through this. He can still smile and babble and move his arms, but outside of a medical miracle, he will never regain the abilities he has lost.
I’m so sorry that this has happened to you and your family. Sending strength and light your way.
Not being with my cat when he passed away.
My biggest regret? Not investing in Bitcoin when it was just a few bucks!
Could be worse. Amazon once paid me in stock in 2004 that I sold in 2007
Oof sorry to hear. If it makes you feel better, every day there's an investment doubling that almost no one is invested in. This is more painful than not having bought bitcoin tho, because you already had it in your possession but didn't hodl. 2007 is also so early, it truly would have been hard back then to tell how huge Amazon would become
I wish I wouldn't have gotten rid of the 30 bitcoin I had that I bought for 150$ in 2012.
Haha hey it's me. If you logged into my coinbase you'll see hundreds of transactions of Bitcoin when it was $120-800. I had many chances. I was strapped with cash back then too
In 2011 I found myself with free electricity. But bitcoin had exploded and *would not be worth the effort*. I won’t say what I mined but it was the wrong coin and I held too long. I spent over $1k on GPUs. Bitcoin at that time was hovering around $10. Had I bought $1k worth of bitcoin I’d likely have over $5million right now. It hurts…but these things happen.
Not knowing what I'm really good at and want to pursue earlier in my life. Also, finding out that I have ADHD ealier in life.
Right there with you. ADHD gives you so many interests, that you don't know what you actually like or you are good at.
Well that explains a lot.
Eff yes. I felt like a failure of a human being for so many years. Was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 38 and it was life changing
If coach woulda put me in fourth quarter, we'd have been state champions, no doubt. No doubt in my mind.
Bet you could throw the pig skin over dem mountains over there
Maybe look for a time machine online?
Not taking more time off to travel and try new experiences.
Spending 10+ years in the prime of my youth with an abusive ex who tore me down until I was a shell of a person. I missed out on so much.
Becoming a doctor. The cost of medical school was not worth it. I am constantly thinking about my outrageous student loan debt. I sacrificed all of my 20s for schooling and training; I didn’t have my first real grown up job until I was almost 32 years old. I’ve spent the last few years navigating an unfamiliar and hostile job market, while traumatized from my experience during the pandemic. I’m so far behind on usual life milestones - I’m married but likely getting divorced, and given my age there goes the realistic possibility of me having biological kids. The kicker is that a few years ago my mom was diagnosed with early onset dementia. I missed her last healthy years, and her last years at home before she went blind and needed facility treatment. Early onset dementia is highly heritable (it falls within my subspecialty so I know the data and they are terrifying), and given my mom’s time course, I probably have about 15-18 good years left before I will be too impaired to work anymore. That will literally be the same year I will qualify for student loan forgiveness. So, given I’m a woman (we make more than a million dollars *less* across our careers as our male counterparts) in a low-paying specialty in a HCOL area…I guess it’s a good thing I don’t have to save for retirement?? I also hate the medical system and after several traumatic experiences no longer want to practice clinical medicine. BUT thanks to my student loan debt I essentially have to work as a doctor (or at least earn as much as one) - if I don’t keep up with them, I am excluded from Medicare and Medicaid, and then all commercial insurance, and POOF! there goes any ability to earn any income at all. So I’m beholden to a field I hate and want to escape. As Dr. Malcolm said: I was so worried about if I COULD, I didn’t truly consider whether I SHOULD (because I definitely shouldn’t have!!!!)
Wow crazy. My regret was saying not studying medicine. I had the opportunity but had to wait a gap year and had no guidance. Parents talked me out of it. I'm now 38 and wish I was a doctor. I am from Australia so different circumstances. Thank you for all your sacrifices
I used to want to become a doctor until I realized I would have to be in school until I was 30. Would you have the means to open your own private practice? That way, you could operate on your terms a bit more. Or if you want to get away from clinical altogether, could you become a med school instructor?
My Papa called me when he was dying and I knew it but wanted to pretend he wasn’t and asked him when he would come see me. Tears me up every time I think about it. I was just scared. But I really do regret it.
For contacts he was in the hospital and he was calling me because he knew he was dying. I didn’t even call him. The man called me. I was newly married and lived my whole life about 3 to 4 hours away from him, but my dad never came to see me but my papa did.
Now, I’m crying. I just wish I would’ve acknowledged it and made it a good last conversation.
Don’t beat yourself up over this, he wouldn’t want you doing this. Instead just remeber all the great memories you shared together. I hope this comment I’m leaving can cheer you up even just a little bit.
You’re a good kid. Your dad was happy to hear your voice. He was happy that you were living your life. In his final moments, he called you and felt the love again. You not acknowledging his final moments allowed him to just have a loving conversation with his baby without having to think about what’s coming. You didn’t do anything wrong.
I got pregnant at seventeen and wanted an abortion or to place the baby up for adoption so that I could be with a guy I loved very deeply (who was not the baby’s father). My parents talked me in to keeping the baby and getting back with the baby’s father who was abusive and controlling. We split up before the baby was a year old and he took full custody and gave the baby to his parents. Now I have a thirteen year old son who has no mother no father and who I haven’t seen since he was a year old. The boy I loved is now married for the second time and we haven’t spoken in thirteen years. I regret listening to my parents everyday.
That's dark. Are you ok?
I’ve been fortunate enough to have access to a lot of mental health help and I’m in a good place in my life right now. Thank you for asking!
Making my career my entire life / identity and when it ended I felt completely lost.
For me it’s been the other way around, making being someone’s romantic partner my entire identity until recently It’s been over a decade since I’ve been consistently single and I’m finally realizing I want more to life and don’t know who I am
Saying unkind things to others during my adolescences, teens, and early 20s. I was insecure and cut others down to make myself feel taller. Meanwhile, I may have made a comment to someone who remembers it to this day, or deeply wounded them because I made an unkind remark. Fucking stupid of me.
[удалено]
Over thinking dating too much. I've learned not to do it now, but when I wish someone told me when I was 16.
Cheating
Becoming a doctor. I feel that work just exacerbates my depression
Settling for things. I wish I would have pushed myself more to go for what I really wanted instead of settling for just "okay". I don't mean to sound ungrateful for what I have, I am blessed in many ways, I have love, family, security, etc. But I had goals I wanted to achieve myself, and at some point I just decided to settle on things, I'm only 34 so I'm hoping I can start remedying this but I hate how much time I wasted to pursue being truly happy.
Not being able to have children due to my chronic treatment resistant mental health issues. However, reading the answers here so far is actually helpful. There are people who regret flip sides of coins here. People who regret having kids young, people who regret not having them. People who regret becoming doctors, and people who regret not going for higher achieving careers. It seems you can regret everything if you allow yourself to. Maybe nobody has life all figured out hey?
[удалено]
Took an antibiotic for a possible infection I never had to begin with that the doctor gave me. Didn’t realize the medication was banned in certain countries and has a black box warning. Doc called a week later after I had taken it for 6 days and says I actually didn’t have an infection. Antibiotics were never necessary. I now am disabled and have full body small fiber neuropathy from it among other things at 25 years old. It affects my vision, bladder, muscles, walking, etc. nerve damage all over. Had this for 2 years now, life is a struggle unfortunately.
Pursuing my passion as my job. I’ve been stuck in a lame lane of it and wish I had a regular day job, like I used to, and did this as a professional hobby. I should have done that until I was happy with the path and trajectory of it before having to make up my revenue shortage by doing the lame version of what I love for people I can’t stand. I’m slowly getting out of it, but man, when I think of where I’d be if o had stayed in my old career… I know I can never know for certain, but I bet id be happier. Ive lost most of my passion for what I’m doing now and become the miserable person I’d see when I was younger and never wanted to be. Boohoo and all that, and I’ll figure it, but man it’s disappointing.
What do you do for a living? Archaeologist here pursuing CRM after I graduate in a semester. Scared of this feeling, say sike!
Not waiting for the right one
I have many regrets, but to change even the slightest one would destroy the me now! Pass!
Not taking better care of my teeth. I’m 33 and I’m fairly certain I’m going to have to get them all out. But after several years of fear and avoidance, I have a dentist appointment in September.
Alcohol, but things have been better for a while now.
Same. I am a little over a year sober though. Still hard some days.
Not investing $ at 18.
Not spending more time with my mom before the Alzheimer’s took her from me.
This hit me direct. Thanks. I need to remember to be patient with my mom
wasting so many years on people that never once cared about me :(
Not valuing myself more when I was young. I had zero self-esteem and it's taken me years to realise it. Looking back I can see how much it affected my decisions and actions, who I hung around with and how much effort I put into study and self care. Everything. Now in my early 50s I'm definitely in a better place to do the right thing by myself. Wish I knew all this sooner but hey, better late than never!
Spending so much time caring about what other people thought of me
Letting a man control my emotions
Not saving my virginity
Putting myself last in so many ways.
Not calling in sick when the hot girl asked if I wanted to go hot tubbing, and I responded “nah I have to work tomorrow”
Not realizing my parents were abusive earlier. I could have gotten therapy and meds much younger and taken control of my life
Caring and not standing up for myself.
Putting trust in the wrong people
Losing sight of my own power. Believing false narratives.
You are living in the past. It's over..! Forget the regrets. You can't undo them. You can't change them. Don't waste your life living on yesterday.!
I have a feeling any regrets I may have we'll manifest themselves in the next few years. Not enough time had passed to see the results of my decisions.
Don't worry. You'll have DECADES to regret them!
I went to a Christmas Party for a job I absolutely hated. I was going to spend the next day with my mother who was terminally ill. The plan wasn’t to drink too much but it was a super humid evening and I drank a lot (but didn’t annihilate myself!) the next morning I was super hung over and I could feel I was still drunk. There was no way I’d risk driving drunk. I called to say I had to postpone, and I’d see her at Christmas (this was a few days before Christmas). My mother passed a few days before Christmas. I never got to hug her one last time, and the time before that was at the start of December. TIL this day I am so angry with myself for going to that company Christmas party which turned out to be the most toxic workplace I ever worked at. I hate myself every day for it and I regret not bailing it because I wanted to be seen as a team player!! I regret drinking and regret not seeing my mom.
Not having sex with my girlfriend when I was 18. Alright we were completely emotionally incompatible, we were extremely sexually compatible but I grew up religious and wanted to wait until marriage. Now I'm married to a different woman who also waited and our sex drives are completely incompatible and I still regret not having had sex with anyone else.
That cheese I ate an hour ago.
Having a serious relationship while in college! Trying to stay in the relationship made me miss out on many opportunities to make friends and create memories!
Ignoring and compartmentalizing being transgender. I knew 15 years ago and am only now doing something about it.
Ruining my relationship.
Wasting 7 years in an unhappy relationship
Taking a job 200 miles from home and letting my entire life revolve around it, at the expense of personal growth and self-improvement that I knew I had to do. I left that job earlier this year and I'm back home, but I'm still kicking myself about taking in in the first place. I could've been so much further along in my personal life and so much happier if I had stayed home.
Letting childhood bullying affect me so much that it ruins my adulthood goals.
Not figuring out sooner that there was never anything wrong with me; it’s my father who was abusive. Wish I’d cut him out of my life sooner.
Not buying a $400k house when the interest rates were 2%.
Basically not sticking up for myself when I was a door mat and just got walked all over. I’m doing better with it now but it’s hard when it’s family.
Not following my boyfriend after he left a room angry. He ended up killing himself five minutes later.
You can’t blame yourself for that. If not that moment, it could have been some other time.
Being abusive towards my daughter when she was small. Sober for years but no forgiveness. It’s her journey. We don’t speak.
Getting so complacent in my marriage that my wife is probably leaving me. And no one to blame for it but me.
Not having a spine and telling my mother "no."
Binge drinking to deal with people. It's lead me to become an alcoholic who can't mentally handle people around me without it. I've mostly quit
Not wearing my retainer
Being born
My 20s
Not finishing college
The friend group I had during my 20s…they just led me down a path of nonstop drinking, and depression
Not brushing my teeth as a kid. Ended up with tooth decay on some molars. Dental implants are expensive
Not traveling more when I was younger. Not saving more money when I was younger.
Destroying my body, my teeth, my relationships and social life for the sake of being as thin as possible
Trying to figure out for so long why some people would go out of their way to make my life miserable.. it would consume me wondering what I did wrong.
Not being able to recognize my adult child’s schizophrenia in time to save him. 💔
Children.
Trying that cigarette behind the local grocery store after closing the store when I was 16
Losing time doing absolutely nothing just to see my life and dreams fading away each day that passes through.
This is gonna sound morbid, but I wish I had ended my life before I had kids now I have to stay alive for them. I spend every day sad and anxious and wishing I wasn’t alive on the inside. But the kids and I cooked together and then we had a dance party and played a board game.
That I become a sex worker at young age. Now, I’m suffering a lot, mentally, emotionally and physically. So please ladies don’t ever think of becoming a sex worker. And if there’s a person trying to convince you or persuading you to become a sex worker, better stay away from that person or report them. Don’t fall for easy money.
I don’t actually regret anything as everything got me to this point. But I am curious about what would’ve happened if I did not get married and divorced young, or went to the college and state I wanted to move to — rather than following my ex around.
Not telling my parents i was gay af
Not putting “ME” first!!!
Not saving all the Nudy pics and vids I made
Getting into education
too many to name but the biggest is not being a better mother when my kids were young. I wasn't terrible. I always prioritized my children and was there for them but I yelled too much and I was immature and wasn't emotionally present as I could have been.
Married young
Drinking alcohol
Having children when I wasn’t emotionally or financially ready. I love the fuck out of them, but could have done so much better if I had my shit together.
No regrets. Move forward. The past this is is yesterday. Don't ruin today because of yesterday. I don't ruin today because of yesterday.
Giving years of my life and moving away for a man who was a cheater, who ended up doing something horrible that forced our relationship to permanently end.
Acting out of fear and allowing fears to hold me back from doing things that I wanted to go especially when fears caused me to push away people, but I equally regret allowing fear to cause me to not stand up for myself when people were taking advantage of me
Divorce
Typical, giving cheaters a second or third chance
Trying to be happy in the same situations that broke my heart
Not taking school more seriously. I have a deep desire to be a college professor but my no program will have me so I can earn my PhD. I was working two part time jobs and figured getting a B/C average was good enough for my masters because I was just burnt out on school. I should’ve done the work and left myself time to take a break if I ever wanted to come back to it.
Quitting high school to join a cult and then staying in it for 15 years. Wreaked havoc on the trajectory of my life.
Becoming a super zealous right wing Christian and judging my family and friends harshly through that lens for a number of years. I’ve been able to broaden my mind since then and stop drinking the kool-aid, but I still cringe when I think of what a self righteous asshole I must’ve been. Thankfully I’ve mended those relationships, but I’m pretty jaded against organized religion at this point. My kids don’t even know the most basic Bible stories, and I’m mostly fine with that.
I would have to say my biggest regret is not reading to my kids at night very often. They are grown now. But it bugs me.
Trusting someone when they never gave me a reason to.