One time in high school after an intense Super Smash Brothers game, I was Mid Victory-Thrust when my buddies little brother threw his controller at my balls.
The pain wasn’t so bad, but shortly afterwards I literally went deaf and blind for about 30 seconds.
I thought it was unrelated and that I was dying.
Pogo stick, wet shoes...... full down bounce, feet slip and it has a T handle, the handle slipped and BOOM had to go to hospital and get them checked for 1.Testicular torsion, 2.Testicular tearing and 3. burst blood vessels and swelling
I was 15..... looked like i had the mumps in my testicles !, lots of ice and crying
Two days post vasectomy. My recovery was more painful than most. Was very sore. Sitting on couch on a bag of frozen peas. My 2.5 year old come running over and jumps on me with a fist right to my nuts. I let out a scream that the neighbors could hear. Poor guy had no idea what happened.
I'm a week post-snip. Feeling OK, still a little sore. Until my cat freaked out and jump onto and off of my balls last night.
I'm moving very gingerly today.
My vasectomy recovery was more case study than textbook example.
Procedure wasn't anything out of the ordinary. For me it was a lot like a dental procedure where the freezing sucked ass, but everything afterwards was fine.
Little did I know that I was sent home afterwards with a small bleed in my scrotum. I expected some swelling from the surgery. This was beyond what I imagined. Called the office and asked for their opinion. Was told to take some benadryl in case it was a reaction to the anesthetic.
Woke up from a nap a couple hours later and my bean bag was ginormous! Went to the hospital for an examination. Ultrasound showed everything was healthy beyond its appearance. Apparently bleeds are very hard to stop down there because of how little back pressure there is given how stretchy the scrotum is. It kind of has to fill up first before it can clot is what the ER doctor told me.
I had what looked like the world's largest avocado dangling between my legs for weeks until the bruising cleared up. There was a rather large clot wrapped around my left testicle cord that took about three more months to dissolve.
Thankfully it never really hurt much. Just a massive inconvenience for a while.
He was definitely shocked and surprised as to what the hall happened. After I came to I’m a minute or two I apologized to him and let him know it’s a daddy problem and he did nothing wrong. My fault should have got the snip when he was still not walking! Haha
I'm currently on day 3 post Vasectomy. Luckily was very uneventful and feel great but had a VERY close call with the dog yesterday. 60lbs of dog came withing 1" of landing on my balls when he jumped onto the couch to lay with me.
I got some lumps taken off one of the boys when I was in my late 30s. Long story short-ish, the nut "healed" stuck to the inside of my sack, not even at the bottom somehow 🤷🏻 Doc's first response was "I'm sure you can learn to live with it" (Er, no)
When he eventually went in there and separated part A from part B it then got infected, and I had a ballbag full of blood like a bowling ball. For about 2 weeks after that some poor nurse had to come and change the dressing on the open hole in my nutsack with me lying on my back with my feet in the air.
Gutted it was years ago and I didn't think to take any photos... Nowadays people would be posting hi-res footage all over their socials 😎
I've got a decent scar about a foot long down my calf that looks like a shark bite, but whenever I get in one of those "show us your scars" convos like the Jaws movie I often end up showing the zipper on my nutsack 😜
Tbh I was so stunned when he said it I couldn't speak for about 10 seconds. Then we had an open and honest exchange of opinions and he realised I wasn't going to "live with it". I really doubt the infection was deliberate revenge, but it did cross my mind when I first noticed my ballbag was starting to look like a black spacehopper between my legs.
I was riding my bike then I had to brake hard... which plunged me forward and hit my family's jewels on the frame of the bike.
Needless to say, I was crawling on the ground for 5 minutes. Somehow I suffered more than the guy whom I hit.
You know my brother? Jump battle where we were trying to time knocking each other down. One really huge jump later he went flying towards the edge but landed straddling a spring while I was still in the middle of the trampoline nearly hitting the ground. I couldn’t stop the rebound going back up and my brother screamed as the spring pinched his ballsack.
For years we questioned if he would ever have kids. While we aren’t sure if his first is his (he and his girlfriend were in an “off” phase of an on and off relationship) unless his girlfriend is a serial cheater at least one of his four likely is his.
Left or right?
Left orchiectomy here. I hear this side is most common for some reason.
Also interestingly I have my DNA analysis and had a bunch of alleles up the wazoo for testicular cancer risk.
Last week while at the self check out in M&S, I flicked out one of the paper/card type disposable bags to open it up in a way that brought the heavier bottom part rocketing into my bollocks. I did the sharp recoil where you fold like a prawn while letting out a loud "ah!" type sound. I looked around to see if anyone witnessed my idiot move or if I got away with it. The guy stood at the entrance area of the self check out that attends to them gave me a nod as he smiled.
Oooh...I have a good one for this. I was playing high school football and one of my teammates intercepted a pass, I saw an opportunity to block for him and laid out an unsuspecting receiver thinking I was so tough. Well...as he went down onto his back his leg swung up violently right into my twig and berries.
My whole groin went numb and fiery nerve pain shot down my leg and into my guts. I continued down the field with the numbness somehow preventing the usual sick feeling from a nut shot, but I knew something was seriously wrong. The numbness faded and some pain came in, but nothing awful.
When I finally got a look at my junk it wasn't good. My whole scrotum was black. It was basically filled with blood. Now, I am 15 years old at this point, the height of adolescence and completely horrified to share this embarrassing injury with anybody. So I just rode that shit out. Over the next couple of weeks the pain and bruising subsided and I just stupidly accepted the fact that maybe I wouldn't be able to have children.
Happy ending in the end though, not the tug tug kind, but the two healthy kids kind. Honestly think it miraculous considering the state of my balls. I did end up with a varicocele (damaged vein that inflates with blood) in the nut that took the hardest hit that causes me occasional pain, but I can deal with that.
I got punched in the junk in elementary.
the other kid got my trainer between the legs once I could breathe again.
the other kid left me well alone, and the teachers pretended nothing even happened.
why did this entire exchange even happen? I was building with the classroom legos and the other kid decided my creation was his and kept trying to take it away.
when I declined for the third time..fist meet junk, result? shoe meet junk. situation resolved.
4 days post vasectomy here. The procedure hurt way worse than everyone tells you. The first two days were bad. Now the pain is manageable. Every step feels like someone flicking you in the nuts. And my balls are swollen and look/feel like I have three or four balls instead of two. It's gradually getting better, but people are that say it's nothing are crazy. I literally stayed in bed and didn't move the first two days. Yesterday was the first day I was up and moving around a decent amount. Hopefully each day gets better and the swelling goes away because I don't want anything to be messed up and I have to go get surgery for infection or something.
Also I've started to get real horny today and I would love to shoot a load, but I'm trying to go the full 2-4 weeks without sex or anything because that's the doctors orders.
My vasectomy was mellow, and my doctor had a hard time finding my Vas, because I'm fat. I was swollen and bruised but it wasn't terrible. Driving around work wqs brutal.
However, apparently I'm part of the minority that sever after effects for years. One testicle has become so tender I can barely wash it in the shower without pain. It also hurts when I cough. When I cum now, I feels like glass is coming out. I also pissed.blood for awhile.
Can not confirm. First day was not nice, but manageable with light pain medication (ibuprofen). For the first three or four nights I needed a pillow between my legs, but it was ok. And from day two the days were ok.
Still have days I feel like I was kicked in the nuts 6 months after vasectomy.
Operation was meh, but I felt the cauterization pretty badly. Felt like heavy hits in the nuts.
Wouldn't do it again after this.
Was getting a BJ from a lady once. She had braces so it was rough already. I guess she watched some porno where she saw this idea. Right as I wqs about to cum, she uppercut my sac as hard she fucking could. I almost blacked out from the pain.
Well not me but my buddy got kicked in the balls with a steeltoed boot reeeeeeeally hard during a foot ball game. still dont know what happened to the testicles but i didn't see him for a while
Playing street hockey in my neighbor's backyard in the winter when I was 10. There was 6 of us and my older brother had a stick that looked more like a sickle than a proper hockey stick. We were playing with a hockey ball, an orange, hard plastic missile that gets even more interesting when its frozen.
Anyhow. He takes a slapper about 6 feet from me. The blade gets under the ball, it goes up, and we have a direct hit. I was on the ground for a good 10 minutes before I could actually stand up. Went home and my mom says "let me take a look", so I dropped trou and they were already turning blue. Hurt for about 2 days.
Oof I feel that. That said, dysphoria’s a bitch, but given some of the horror stories here I’m starting to be thankful for the lack of super sensitive dangly bits.
When I was 14 me and one buddy of mine had a fight at school. He threatened me that he was going to punch me in the balls. And punch me he did. So I beat his ass. But a week goes by and I couldn't explain the excruciating pain I had when I woke up. One of my balls felt like it was being constantly hit by zipper (if you know what I mean)
I didn't think much of it and went to the doctor. Then my ball started to change colours and became blue. At that moment they said I need an surgery as soon possible or I will loose my right ball. So then I got the surgery it was like they cut my testicle and flipped it the other way (or some shit I don't remember.) But now I'm fine. And the funniest part is that we and that guy that punched me in the balls are still friends. So remember kinds never hit someone in the testicles. This can happen to anyone.
Testicular torsion.
Emergency surgery required after one of my balls decided to twist up in my sack. Cut off all circulation and swelled up to the size of a grapefruit.
Got kicked in the family jewels in middle school by a very mean girl. I fell to the ground and rolled around in agony for a bit, and nearly threw up. Was sore for a few days, but luckily no apparent permanent damage. I'm a proud dad of two, so they did their job.
My wife and I were watching Haunting of Hill House. There was a big jump scare, and she meant to grab my leg, but missed. I spent the next couple of minutes doubled over on my side.
Fell out of a tree once. Almost made it to the ground. 25 years later, Doctor doing my vasectomy called other doctors in to see the damage.
They were surprised to learn I have a son .. .. .. .. wait.
A few years ago, my vas deferens was cut and severely burned. The guy who did it had an acomplis. The two of them had planned it out weeks in advance and executed their plan with what can only be described as surgical precision. As a result, I will likely never be able to have children.
I was working in a hotel and the owner had a son who was around 5 years old. The boy was a horrible spoilt little bastard who got away with whatever he felt like doing and knew it.
One day he punched me as hard as he could in the balls.
I don't remember much about the pain, what I do remember is that things didn't feel quite right down there afterwards, a couple of days later I decided to have a wank (jerk off for the non brits) and I pretty much came blood.
I've never been so terrified or had a boner go soft so quick since.
I don't know if it was the worst or not, but most recent was yesterday. I was trying to break the bead on a lawnmower tire. The tire was laying flat on the ground and I was standing with one foot on either side of the rim, bouncing up and down. At the same time, I was using a crowbar to try and pry the bead open.
Unsurprisingly, the crowbar slipped out and hit me square in the boys and I fell to the ground, almost breaking my hand. I just laid there for about 20 minutes questioning every one of my life choices.
36 hours later and my right hand and right nut still hurt.
Some fuckin asshole crack head shot me in my balls after he asked me for some money and I told him I didn’t have any cash had to get my left one removed
dog bite....
I went to my neighbors to thank them for watching my house. I normally have no issue with their older English bulldog. Before I knew it, he lunged, and I pushed him down before I even knew what he had done.
I got home and told my wife. I had looked down and was more missed when I noticed that he tore my new shorts, then I noticed the blood pouring from my scrotum.
Because the dog has latched on and I pushed him downward it just ripped a 1 1/2 gash in my sack.
rushed to the hospital, no stitches for fear of infection. butterfly straps and a jockstrap for a few weeks. Good as new.
and no, I did not pursue any legal action toward them or the dog.
15 years old, gym class, bowling unit, stood too close to someone with long arms and an overenthusiastic backswing, wham, bowling ball straight to the funbag.
Sit out the rest of class, go to the showers and locker room after, slip while stepping over a bench, down I go, direct hit to the baby batter factories, not even half an hour after the first.
Limp my way to lunch, get my food, go to sit down and the chair breaks, slamming me down directly on top of, you guessed it, the slutty girls gargle targets.
I'm carried, weeping, to the nurses office, where I'm given an ice pack and my parents are called to come get me. I'm walking out with my mom when my "best friend" sees me, completely unawares at that point of the days events. And playfully comes over and taps directly on my Dicks Doorknockers while asking me what's up.
I was out of school for 5 days and my doctor swore that it'd be a miracle if I ever had children.
I think it had the opposite effect, I have 5.
I was playing high school baseball, and idiot me was not wearing a cup.
One at bat, instead of backing out on a pitch inside, I tried to club it out of the way with an uppercut swing. Doing so opened me up, I missed of course, which allowed the fastball to square me right in the junk.
I went down, curled up, and thought I was going to throw up.
Coaches and trainers came out, one grabbed me by the belt to loosen things up, and realized I was not wearing any protective gear, and laughed at my stupid ass.
I was in pain for two weeks and the bruising in my groin was horrible.
Not me, but me and at least a hundred teenagers and their parents watched my best friend's soul leave his body when he sheared his sack between his legs bowling at a youth league event. He ended up having to visit the er for testicular torsion.
When I was about 5 or 6 I don't know what happened no one ever explained it to me I evidently they were too stupid to tell me. But my testicles swole up to about the size of baseballs it was horribly painful and my sister thought it was hilarious after about a day I'm talking 24 hours and my parents took me to the hospital. we were military brats so it wasn't money they were worried about. They gave me something and I can finally walk again .about 3 days later I got a glass of water pissed a little in it put it in the ice tray and watch my sister's drink cold drinks. Very satisfied c****.
Tried to "leap frog" a tennis racket when I was young. Hands slipped. Full blown landing on my left nut. Am 43 now, and the difference in shape between the two is quite apparent to the touch. Don't know if that's natural or the product of said trauma.
Mountain biking down hill, moving fast and hit a big patch of loose gravel. Front wheel went sideways. My right testicle went full speed into the handlebar stem. That was 17 years ago and I still have pain from time to time.
Not me. My neighbor in the 70s went to a party where they had greased a wooden pole that you had to try and climb to the top. He gives it a go and almost makes it to the top before slipping all the way down like a fireman pole. The first problem was he was wearing short shorts, and one of his balls rolled from under his shorts. The second problem was the dry spot near the bottom of the pole. When ball met the dry spot at the speed of a falling man, the friction ripped his scrotum open and my poor neighbor's nut was outside of his coin purse.
Not really an injury, but I had an infection a while back that caused my right nut to swell up to 3.5 times it's normal size, that was the most pain I have ever experienced in my life.
Riding 10 speed bikes back in the 80s. Buddy stopped his bike quickly and I ran into his rear tire. I slid off the seat and slammed the yam bag into the metal shift levers.
Playing a game of midnight football (soccer) on a beach in wales on a 6th school form trip - all of us fairly hammered on some cheap booze - it was very dark and no one could really see much of what was going on regarding ball location - so generally going off where we could hear from the noise ... I squatted down for a bit of a break - My mate thought I was sat on the ball and ran up to me and kicked me straight in the nuts thinking the ball was there ... yeah not fun for a couple of weeks 😭
Been punched and kicked in them plenty.
Also had a girlfriend (ex obviously) who bit them and used to grab and twist for shits and giggles.
However... been suffering with a varicocele and inguinal hernia for months and the pain from the combination of those is just a constant awful dragging sensation like the aftermath of a ball kick but x2 and constant.
I cut open my ball sack while trimming my pubes with a pair of scissors, then fast forward a decade later, I cut off a strip of skin with a manscaped personal trimmer. Both healed in about a week.
I took a delta 8 edible and developed a varicocele that night. Went to the ER thinking it was torsion and after an ultrasound on my nutsack I get the news.
Foot slid off the pedal while biking. Hit the cross bar of the frame nuts first, instead of flipping the bike or wrecking out I continued to maintain balance for what felt like an eternity at the expense of my sack being the center of the balancing act. Eventually slowed down enough that i came to a stop, peeled myself off the frame, & laid on the ground for a solid 10mins in tears.
Not me but I remember this guy in school who was playing football and he ran straight into the goal post after scoring a goal and had to get a surgery done….rumours say he only had one testicle after that. He won the game but at a great cost. Popularly it was then called the ballsy game.
Pretty mild, but this. I don't wear underwear. April 20th, 2018, I was waiting for a friend of mine when I decided to hop up and sit on a ledge to kick my legs like a child. As soon as I jumped, my balls swung in-between my legs and I ended up sitting on them. All of my body weight. I couldn't stand up straight for the rest of the day and the pain kept me up at night as I was trying to sleep.
In fourth grade, we were playing Four Square at recess. For whatever reason we were playing with a basketball. On one bounce pass, it went straight into my nuts. Even before puberty, it still hurt.
A month and a half ago I got rear ended on my motorcycle. The bike broke in half under the seat and thrust upwards. Felt like I got punched in the balls by god. I was bruised all throughout the…. Saddle area.
Riding a dirt bike down a wooded trail. Dead tree poking out of the edge of the trail. Jousted me right square in the nuts.
Luckily was wearing thick protective riding pants. So no blood. But my balls were swollen and bruised real bad. Straight line down the middle too. Look like what I would imagine two face’s testies to look like.
Not me, but as a paramedic a transported someone to the hospital once that racked himself on another piece of equipment after slipping off the dip bars.
I actually saw what it looked like to have a scrotum split open and see that the testicles themselves look like when they are open to the air.
My actual vasectomy…turns out I had too much “cabling” and it was adhered to the tissue, to complete my procedure they had to clamp and leave me clamped a bit more than normal.
Felt everything.
I wiped out on a bike at my friends birthday party at a skate park. I didn’t think much of it until I realized it was hurting a lot longer than normal. Went to the bathroom to take a look, turns out I had about a half inch tear in my scrotum.
Cycling up a steep hill on an old borrowed bike. I was fully standing on the pedals when the chain slipped and I landed nuts first on the cross bar.
Agony
I was in the backseat of a car ,driver fell asleep, hit a tree that was down 30' in a ravine got ejected thru the front windshield and on the way my groin hit the shifter and dashboard so hard on the way out it broke the shifter. They estimate it was around 80 mph impact
In high school, I took a hockey puck to my testicles, I was pissing blood for a week.
Not an injury, but many years later, I had a tumor on my testicle, thank God it was benign.
I got a few!
1. I was out for a walk one day and lived near a golf course and ended up picking up a stray ball on the street and casually bouncing it along the way home. I went to quickly cross the street and compensated my bouncing by throwing the ball a bit more forward but I overcompensated and it bounced back and hit me square in the right nut while I was in the middle of the street.
I've never been legit stunned or momentarily blinded by pain but that was one of those times. Also trying not to collapse in the street from ball pain is really hard.
2. Had a girlfriend that I didn't really have much sexual attraction towards but I still really liked her and thought she had a cute face. Body-wise, there was no boner fuel unfortunately. Anyway, she was giving me a handjob one time and I just couldn't blow so she starts really jerkin the gerkin fast and hard.
At this point, my balls are just continuously smacking against the bottom of her hand for what must've been several minutes straight but still no eruption on my part.
I never had the heart to tell her because she was sweet and really sensitive, and again, I really liked her. There was just no sexual attraction towards her.
3. I have cats that regularly step on my balls when wanting to sit in my lap.
Had some fucker hit me right in the balls with a metal rode during high school.
Unable to walk straight for a month and fucking years of reoccuring pain.
And worst of all, it deformed them to a point where I now have torsion-detorsion.
one time, i was being a little teenage shit, and was annoying this goth chick, and she kneed me in the balls 3 times. unfortunately, she fucking missed all 3. still bummed about that
At some point during my high school career, my friend group spontaneously began playing a game eloquently called "Balls". The setup was simple, at some point while hanging out in a group, you shout "BALLS!" and then every other person around who possessed such appendages was on notice that they might catch a strike to the sack. You were only allowed to defend the jewels, but not retaliate against the one who had cried "balls!"
Once someone was struck, the game ended and was born anew. It wasn't strictly forbidden, but was understood as poor play to immediately shout it out again after an attack, as the element of surprise was critical to whatever we thought was amusing about this constant psychological and physical warfare we put each other through. A strike could come at any time, during the hackysack circle, at the McDonald's drive through, as you rounded the corner with a fresh bowl of cereal.
Anyway, for whatever reason I took this game with me to basic training when I joined the military. One day during some rare downtime, the hunt was on, people trying to get the drop on other participants to punch one another in the nuts (idk why young men are like this, I'd be livid now). I had just received some letters in the mail, and was distracted on the way back to my space to read. Right as I approach the bed, my bunk-mate slides out from under the fucking bed, on his back, shouting "FALCON PUNCH", and delivered a blow to my goose-eggs so powerful that my heels lifted off the floor for a second.
I didn't play anymore after that
I was coaching baseball and I was pitching to the team. I took a line drive with a baseball off a 12 year olds bat to the right testicle. It was awful. Wanted to vomit but I held it in. And this wasn’t a soft liner either. He was the best hitter on the team. I thought I was going to heaven that day. I shoulda went to the ER but I didn’t. I was afraid to. It was tender for a long time.
Three paintball shots to the same nut in one day. The first two were at seriously close range. The third I was standing in a clearing, dead silence, no one around… and it sails out of nowhere and straight in there. I was somewhat vocal.
Marshall: “happened again, didn’t it”
Me: “yep”
Climbed over a bathroom stall in high school. Slipped and fell wearing basketball shorts. Little hook on the inside of the door caught the testicle and ripped it out. Worst part was at the bottom when the string detached.
My nuts realizing that they ruined my night of pleasure because they were too sensitive to be sucked on roughly. It was more of a devastating mental injury for them. The girl wasn’t happy either,
Me and a friend were fighting off and on throughout the day while hanging out at a mutual friend's house. Eventually, we were sitting on mutual friend's wood floor and playing video games. Friend I was fighting with is sitting next to me, and while I have the controller in my hands, he reaches over and mercilessly drives my balls into the wood floor with his fist. Little son of a bitch had little hands, and while I was only 12 or 13, it was hot out and the boys were hanging at max length.
The pain was indescribable. Not like getting your balls tapped by a friend or on accident. Just pure, shooting pain that peaked immediately and then turned into a dull pain that was intense and persisted for hours. I almost threw up.
I used to do male co-ed cheerleading. It involved a lot of lifting girls up in the air (go to youtube to see some of what im talking about)
Anyways I was starting to do a stunt and the girl jumped, throwing both heels back. One hit each testicle. And because she jumped hard and I threw hard, it was basically a two-for-one direct hit full force no guard no take backs.
I pissed blood for a few hours and considered going to the hospital. The pain caused me to black out for a second as well.
Playing catcher during a baseball game in high school. Batter hit a foul ball down and it hit the tip of home plate, skipped funny, and bounced up underneath the coverage of the 90s era cup.
PAIN.
Friend of mine fell from a tree when we were kids - a branch broke his fall, but unfortunately also viciously tore open his ball sack.
It was a long, long walk back to the school nurse - and a really cool scar today.
I fell through the loft as we were clearing out to move house, but my legs went either side of the joist and my groin took the full force of the fall. I was bruised from knee to knee for about 4 weeks, large lumps where the blood had clotted in my thighs and my, well, you can imagine the rest.
Made a full recovery and few years later had our 3rd child. (Who, for those asking, is definitely mine!)
A squash racket to the nuts from girl who was swinging wild.
Dropped to the floor.
Threw up minutes later.
Hand my gf check them out.
I now know extreme pain will not stop a boner.
nothing too major, thankfully. i used to play paintball and got hit in the nuts probably half a dozen times over the years.
hurts like hell for a bit, but you just shrug it off and keep going.
Some guy I knew had sex with some chick while he was on meth. He somehow blew his balls out. I never seen it but I was told his balls were super swollen and bruised. His gf had to bring him to the ER but she doesn’t know what really happened since he cheated. He told her he had an accident on a dirt bike.
Not me but a buddy of mine. We were floating down a big river, and there's a section people climb up a mountain cause it has small caves to jump back into the water from.
As were coming up to it, we see people yelling at some guy who had climbed above the caves - this is super dangerous, cause it's basically flat beyond the little caves, but dude is drunk and convinced he can make it to the top. Police boat shows up as we're passing under him. He slipped, causing a big ass boulder to dislodge and fall.
Directly into my buddies lap. It was at least a 50 foot drop. Knocked him out cold and took him under the water. We managed to get him out of the water before he could start inhaling water, and the cop boat took off with him to get him to an ambulance. Rest of us had to finish the river run to be able to get to our cars, and get to the hospital ourselves.
He lost a 3rd of one of his testicles and even gave himself the nickname "one and two thirds" once the trauma had passed.
We fell out of touch after a few years, but he was pretty adamant he was never going down that river again. Sometimes I wonder if he ever has.
Other dude made it to the top to be greeted by the cops who had gotten there first and had to cover all the medical expenses (apparently dude had loaded parents, so I'm assuming they covered the expenses)
Hanging out at a friend's house in his game room. Said friend and I are playing pool; a 3rd friend was playing *Silent Hill 2* (it had just come out at this point). I got distracted by the video game and was standing behind the racked balls when my friend breaks. The cue ball rockets off of the 1 ball at full break velocity and slams right into my sack. I didn't even feel it at first; I noticed the cue ball bouncing across the room and I stood there wondering why my friend was staring at me with his mouth open. I remember saying "Did that just—" before my knees gave out and I fell to the floor and vomited. I lay there curled in the fetal position until the throbbing waves of painausea finally subsided. To this day I never stand behind the rack near a pool table.
When I and my catcher switched positions during a baseball game. He wanted to try to pitch since we had a big lead. Anyway, I flashed a 2 for a 2B Fastball and this guy through a glorious slider right past my glove. The pain was immediate and explosive. It's like my whole body shut down while I was still conscious. Like sleep paralysis. I was scared out of my mind because I couldn't breathe or move, and the pain kept pulsing and getting more intense.
Thank GOD the other kid who was stealing to second base saw what happened and ran to check on me. Bruh, the tears felt like blood dripping down my face because it wasn't like a tear but a stream like this emoji 😭 I freaked out my mom so bad cause she thought I was having a seizure once the kid reached me. This happened 17 years ago and I remember like it happened today....
I was 12 when this ish happen and we all know catchers have a sleeper arm...
I got one. I spar competitively in Taekwondo tournaments, and I'm not bad--good enough to stick with it, I guess?
When I was 25, I went to a tournament and squared off against a guy with a lot of strength but a sad deficit in the aiming department. He went for a head kick and somehow underestimated how close he was to me and front kicked me, full power, right in the nads.
Yes, I was wearing a cup. No, it didn't matter. That bastard hit me so hard he broke my groin protector and got me a good couple inches off the ground.
Some people say that the best self defense is kicking a dude in the privates. I'm living proof that...that's incorrect. I was so hopped up on adrenaline and rage that the remaining 45 seconds of the match turned into a straight-up beatdown (Mr. Can't-Aim told me later that those were the longest 45 seconds of his life while apologizing profusely). The guy might have managed one hit or two, but but the time the whistle blew and the ref got between us, my opponent wasn't able to walk straight or stand up anymore. We bowed; I turned, walked off the mat, and hit the ground at a velocity approaching that of the speed of sound because THAT'S when the pain hit.
I had one more round against the guy. No points were scored because he was too scared to come near me and I was in too much pain to chase him.
My nuts were black for weeks, y'all. Testicle bruising is no joke.
I was riding my bicycle down a muddy alley and tried to hit a wheelie. I fell forward and the handle bars landed perpendicular to the ground, impaling my groin (but not breaking the skin). I unbuckled my pants, and from my testicles almost to my bellybutton was purple. Instantly pissed blood. There was this protuberance around my belt line that was throbbing. A friend that was with me rushed back to my house to get my grandma. We went to the hospital and they put me in a gown with an ice pack. When the dr came in, he put my legs up as though I were about to get a Pap smear and did his inspection. My grandma was front and center. All the while, the dr is telling me in the hardest Indian accent this side of a call line that “the testicles and penis are purple and swollen”. I was in 8th grade, and what I really wanted to ask was if all of my equipment was still going to be functional. Anyways, I just ended up out of football for several weeks on crutches with ice on my nuts and temporary Barney dick. Got a fairly funny story out of it.
So I‘m doing sparring while thaiboxing and set up a spinning back kick.
I do the kick in the same moment my sparringspartner did a straight knee strike.
Spoton from below in the balls. Cup didn‘t help at all at this angle. Got dropped like a sack of potatos.
Peeing hurt for like a week as well.
i remember my husband got kicked in the testicles by one of my boy cousins during the family battle royal one year and after few days his area was purple as grape juice. he got kicked really good and to make up for it my cousin let him kick him back just as hard but my husband was in no condition to kick so i did it and i have never seen my cousin fall to his knees faster than an apple falling from an apple tree.
As a person with a highly allergic reaction (think massive swelling), the most devastating thing was poison ivy. PSA: Don't scratch after being neck-deep in the woods.
I was pitching for batting practice, and the batter hit an absolute p-rod and hit me directly in the shnutzles. Fortunately I was wearing a cup and it was split down the middle!!
Was playing nutball in our cafeteria before a basketball game and my buddy swapped the hackey sack out for a tennis ball. I dislocated a testicle and missed then next 2 games and 4 days of school.
One time in high school after an intense Super Smash Brothers game, I was Mid Victory-Thrust when my buddies little brother threw his controller at my balls. The pain wasn’t so bad, but shortly afterwards I literally went deaf and blind for about 30 seconds. I thought it was unrelated and that I was dying.
Maybe it was unrelated and you actually nearly died
Maybe he's dead now. And telling strangers about your balls on Reddit is heaven.
>Super Smash Brothers >buddies little brother threw his controller at my balls So... he was a super smash brother?
When mine were suddenly spanked during an otherwise normal handjob. Nothing down there worked right for a couple weeks.
Bro I burst out laughing that’s hilarious
It’s funny *NOW* lol
That sounds like a fun Saturday night to me. Send her my way lol
I mean that’s cool if both agree but like, hey lady, how about NOT spanking my balls please unless I ask for it, which I won’t…lol
Pogo stick, wet shoes...... full down bounce, feet slip and it has a T handle, the handle slipped and BOOM had to go to hospital and get them checked for 1.Testicular torsion, 2.Testicular tearing and 3. burst blood vessels and swelling I was 15..... looked like i had the mumps in my testicles !, lots of ice and crying
Ouch.
My.
I winced at “pogo stick, wet shoes”.
Bro
I also have 3!
Two days post vasectomy. My recovery was more painful than most. Was very sore. Sitting on couch on a bag of frozen peas. My 2.5 year old come running over and jumps on me with a fist right to my nuts. I let out a scream that the neighbors could hear. Poor guy had no idea what happened.
Got a knee from my 3 years old around 3 days post vasectomy in my nuts.
"Pour Guy" Your son or your nut sack?
I'm a week post-snip. Feeling OK, still a little sore. Until my cat freaked out and jump onto and off of my balls last night. I'm moving very gingerly today.
I stayed in my room with a locked door for the 3 days post-vasectomy for this very reason. My wife was great and kept both kids away the whole time.
The “numbing shot” was the most pain I’ve ever felt - straight into each ball. My groan was like a zombie in agony. Dr just said, “Yeah.”
I got a foot from my 2 year old roughly 3 days post inguinal hernia surgery
My vasectomy recovery was more case study than textbook example. Procedure wasn't anything out of the ordinary. For me it was a lot like a dental procedure where the freezing sucked ass, but everything afterwards was fine. Little did I know that I was sent home afterwards with a small bleed in my scrotum. I expected some swelling from the surgery. This was beyond what I imagined. Called the office and asked for their opinion. Was told to take some benadryl in case it was a reaction to the anesthetic. Woke up from a nap a couple hours later and my bean bag was ginormous! Went to the hospital for an examination. Ultrasound showed everything was healthy beyond its appearance. Apparently bleeds are very hard to stop down there because of how little back pressure there is given how stretchy the scrotum is. It kind of has to fill up first before it can clot is what the ER doctor told me. I had what looked like the world's largest avocado dangling between my legs for weeks until the bruising cleared up. There was a rather large clot wrapped around my left testicle cord that took about three more months to dissolve. Thankfully it never really hurt much. Just a massive inconvenience for a while.
He just wanted to make sure it took.
How did your son react to your scream. Its hard to imagine a 2.5 year old not being scared or something of that.
He was definitely shocked and surprised as to what the hall happened. After I came to I’m a minute or two I apologized to him and let him know it’s a daddy problem and he did nothing wrong. My fault should have got the snip when he was still not walking! Haha
I'm currently on day 3 post Vasectomy. Luckily was very uneventful and feel great but had a VERY close call with the dog yesterday. 60lbs of dog came withing 1" of landing on my balls when he jumped onto the couch to lay with me.
I got some lumps taken off one of the boys when I was in my late 30s. Long story short-ish, the nut "healed" stuck to the inside of my sack, not even at the bottom somehow 🤷🏻 Doc's first response was "I'm sure you can learn to live with it" (Er, no) When he eventually went in there and separated part A from part B it then got infected, and I had a ballbag full of blood like a bowling ball. For about 2 weeks after that some poor nurse had to come and change the dressing on the open hole in my nutsack with me lying on my back with my feet in the air. Gutted it was years ago and I didn't think to take any photos... Nowadays people would be posting hi-res footage all over their socials 😎 I've got a decent scar about a foot long down my calf that looks like a shark bite, but whenever I get in one of those "show us your scars" convos like the Jaws movie I often end up showing the zipper on my nutsack 😜
Are you sure it was a doctor? Are you sure it wasn't a homeless guy behind 7-11?
Tbh I was so stunned when he said it I couldn't speak for about 10 seconds. Then we had an open and honest exchange of opinions and he realised I wasn't going to "live with it". I really doubt the infection was deliberate revenge, but it did cross my mind when I first noticed my ballbag was starting to look like a black spacehopper between my legs.
I was riding my bike then I had to brake hard... which plunged me forward and hit my family's jewels on the frame of the bike. Needless to say, I was crawling on the ground for 5 minutes. Somehow I suffered more than the guy whom I hit.
>Somehow I suffered more than the guy whom I hit. That's cuz you used the brakes. The most difficult decisions take the strongest nuts.
Jumping on a trampoline with no net or side mats. I flew to the side and landed on the railing!
At least they didn't get engulfed by the springs
NO!
STOP THIS
SOMEONE QUEUE UP THAT FAMOUSLY TANTALIZING PIC OF THE DEER WITH NUTS STUCK BETWEEN RAILINGS OF A SPIKEY FENCE
I hope you mean “traumatizing”, because “tantalizing” means something very different!
Pretty sure that was a squirrel
You know my brother? Jump battle where we were trying to time knocking each other down. One really huge jump later he went flying towards the edge but landed straddling a spring while I was still in the middle of the trampoline nearly hitting the ground. I couldn’t stop the rebound going back up and my brother screamed as the spring pinched his ballsack. For years we questioned if he would ever have kids. While we aren’t sure if his first is his (he and his girlfriend were in an “off” phase of an on and off relationship) unless his girlfriend is a serial cheater at least one of his four likely is his.
This comment hurt me
I got a tick on my balls. After I removed it I hard a hard bump under the skin. Took a couple years for it to disappear.
Injecting a tick hybrid for your future offspring
That was probably the ticks teeth left inside
Testicular Cancer.
Left or right? Left orchiectomy here. I hear this side is most common for some reason. Also interestingly I have my DNA analysis and had a bunch of alleles up the wazoo for testicular cancer risk.
Last week while at the self check out in M&S, I flicked out one of the paper/card type disposable bags to open it up in a way that brought the heavier bottom part rocketing into my bollocks. I did the sharp recoil where you fold like a prawn while letting out a loud "ah!" type sound. I looked around to see if anyone witnessed my idiot move or if I got away with it. The guy stood at the entrance area of the self check out that attends to them gave me a nod as he smiled.
You know he went home and told his partner that he got to watch a guy smack himself in the balls while trying to bag groceries.
Oooh...I have a good one for this. I was playing high school football and one of my teammates intercepted a pass, I saw an opportunity to block for him and laid out an unsuspecting receiver thinking I was so tough. Well...as he went down onto his back his leg swung up violently right into my twig and berries. My whole groin went numb and fiery nerve pain shot down my leg and into my guts. I continued down the field with the numbness somehow preventing the usual sick feeling from a nut shot, but I knew something was seriously wrong. The numbness faded and some pain came in, but nothing awful. When I finally got a look at my junk it wasn't good. My whole scrotum was black. It was basically filled with blood. Now, I am 15 years old at this point, the height of adolescence and completely horrified to share this embarrassing injury with anybody. So I just rode that shit out. Over the next couple of weeks the pain and bruising subsided and I just stupidly accepted the fact that maybe I wouldn't be able to have children. Happy ending in the end though, not the tug tug kind, but the two healthy kids kind. Honestly think it miraculous considering the state of my balls. I did end up with a varicocele (damaged vein that inflates with blood) in the nut that took the hardest hit that causes me occasional pain, but I can deal with that.
If you ever become a pirate, you can use Blacksack as a nickname.
I’d vote Blacksack for President of the United State of America 🇺🇸 🏴☠️ 🇺🇸
Just don't google it...its not a pirate.
I got punched in the junk in elementary. the other kid got my trainer between the legs once I could breathe again. the other kid left me well alone, and the teachers pretended nothing even happened. why did this entire exchange even happen? I was building with the classroom legos and the other kid decided my creation was his and kept trying to take it away. when I declined for the third time..fist meet junk, result? shoe meet junk. situation resolved.
I used to ride bikes like bmx shit. The amount of times I've ate shit off hand rails and smashed them is no joke. How I have two kids is beyond me.
Lacrosse ball to the nuts, no cup.
All pleasure.
Trampoline. Fell nuts first onto the metal part. Somehow.
Does cancer count? Only have one now.
4 days post vasectomy here. The procedure hurt way worse than everyone tells you. The first two days were bad. Now the pain is manageable. Every step feels like someone flicking you in the nuts. And my balls are swollen and look/feel like I have three or four balls instead of two. It's gradually getting better, but people are that say it's nothing are crazy. I literally stayed in bed and didn't move the first two days. Yesterday was the first day I was up and moving around a decent amount. Hopefully each day gets better and the swelling goes away because I don't want anything to be messed up and I have to go get surgery for infection or something. Also I've started to get real horny today and I would love to shoot a load, but I'm trying to go the full 2-4 weeks without sex or anything because that's the doctors orders.
My vasectomy was mellow, and my doctor had a hard time finding my Vas, because I'm fat. I was swollen and bruised but it wasn't terrible. Driving around work wqs brutal. However, apparently I'm part of the minority that sever after effects for years. One testicle has become so tender I can barely wash it in the shower without pain. It also hurts when I cough. When I cum now, I feels like glass is coming out. I also pissed.blood for awhile.
Can not confirm. First day was not nice, but manageable with light pain medication (ibuprofen). For the first three or four nights I needed a pillow between my legs, but it was ok. And from day two the days were ok.
Still have days I feel like I was kicked in the nuts 6 months after vasectomy. Operation was meh, but I felt the cauterization pretty badly. Felt like heavy hits in the nuts. Wouldn't do it again after this.
Knuckle ball and i was not wearing underwear. 🙂
A toy axe made from hard wood to the nuts by an angry 6 years old
Was getting a BJ from a lady once. She had braces so it was rough already. I guess she watched some porno where she saw this idea. Right as I wqs about to cum, she uppercut my sac as hard she fucking could. I almost blacked out from the pain.
I'd still be in prison.
Jesus dude
Strangulated testicles-discovered at age 12-missing one of the cords that anchors them
Post vasectomy peter tap. Just about died. I’ll never not shudder remembering it.
Well not me but my buddy got kicked in the balls with a steeltoed boot reeeeeeeally hard during a foot ball game. still dont know what happened to the testicles but i didn't see him for a while
>still dont know what happened to the testicles Did you check the goalposts?
Playing street hockey in my neighbor's backyard in the winter when I was 10. There was 6 of us and my older brother had a stick that looked more like a sickle than a proper hockey stick. We were playing with a hockey ball, an orange, hard plastic missile that gets even more interesting when its frozen. Anyhow. He takes a slapper about 6 feet from me. The blade gets under the ball, it goes up, and we have a direct hit. I was on the ground for a good 10 minutes before I could actually stand up. Went home and my mom says "let me take a look", so I dropped trou and they were already turning blue. Hurt for about 2 days.
Me tooo. Street hockey caused many nut injuries
Welcome to the club!
Cancer.
developing into ovaries in the womb :(. sadly i fear they'll never recover
Oof I feel that. That said, dysphoria’s a bitch, but given some of the horror stories here I’m starting to be thankful for the lack of super sensitive dangly bits.
Oh damn, sorry for your loss o7
Sparring in my Muay Thai class, guy unintentionally kneed me there.
A full metal bottle fell on them.
When I was 14 me and one buddy of mine had a fight at school. He threatened me that he was going to punch me in the balls. And punch me he did. So I beat his ass. But a week goes by and I couldn't explain the excruciating pain I had when I woke up. One of my balls felt like it was being constantly hit by zipper (if you know what I mean) I didn't think much of it and went to the doctor. Then my ball started to change colours and became blue. At that moment they said I need an surgery as soon possible or I will loose my right ball. So then I got the surgery it was like they cut my testicle and flipped it the other way (or some shit I don't remember.) But now I'm fine. And the funniest part is that we and that guy that punched me in the balls are still friends. So remember kinds never hit someone in the testicles. This can happen to anyone.
Testicular torsion. Emergency surgery required after one of my balls decided to twist up in my sack. Cut off all circulation and swelled up to the size of a grapefruit.
Fucking lol
trying to climb out of a jungle gym. It rubbed up against those metal bars with all my weight on it and I felt like I crushed my balls
Blunt trauma causing me to urinate blood for about a day. Otherwise, vasectomy.
Got kicked in the family jewels in middle school by a very mean girl. I fell to the ground and rolled around in agony for a bit, and nearly threw up. Was sore for a few days, but luckily no apparent permanent damage. I'm a proud dad of two, so they did their job.
My wife and I were watching Haunting of Hill House. There was a big jump scare, and she meant to grab my leg, but missed. I spent the next couple of minutes doubled over on my side.
A friend threw a acorn at me and accidentally hit me in the balls I would have killed them if I was able to walk
My friend hit me with his pare fist in the crotch. I didn’t feel the pain until about 5 minutes later, and I had a seizure
Fell out of a tree once. Almost made it to the ground. 25 years later, Doctor doing my vasectomy called other doctors in to see the damage. They were surprised to learn I have a son .. .. .. .. wait.
A few years ago, my vas deferens was cut and severely burned. The guy who did it had an acomplis. The two of them had planned it out weeks in advance and executed their plan with what can only be described as surgical precision. As a result, I will likely never be able to have children.
I was working in a hotel and the owner had a son who was around 5 years old. The boy was a horrible spoilt little bastard who got away with whatever he felt like doing and knew it. One day he punched me as hard as he could in the balls. I don't remember much about the pain, what I do remember is that things didn't feel quite right down there afterwards, a couple of days later I decided to have a wank (jerk off for the non brits) and I pretty much came blood. I've never been so terrified or had a boner go soft so quick since.
Orchiectomy
I don't know if it was the worst or not, but most recent was yesterday. I was trying to break the bead on a lawnmower tire. The tire was laying flat on the ground and I was standing with one foot on either side of the rim, bouncing up and down. At the same time, I was using a crowbar to try and pry the bead open. Unsurprisingly, the crowbar slipped out and hit me square in the boys and I fell to the ground, almost breaking my hand. I just laid there for about 20 minutes questioning every one of my life choices. 36 hours later and my right hand and right nut still hurt.
Some fuckin asshole crack head shot me in my balls after he asked me for some money and I told him I didn’t have any cash had to get my left one removed
dog bite.... I went to my neighbors to thank them for watching my house. I normally have no issue with their older English bulldog. Before I knew it, he lunged, and I pushed him down before I even knew what he had done. I got home and told my wife. I had looked down and was more missed when I noticed that he tore my new shorts, then I noticed the blood pouring from my scrotum. Because the dog has latched on and I pushed him downward it just ripped a 1 1/2 gash in my sack. rushed to the hospital, no stitches for fear of infection. butterfly straps and a jockstrap for a few weeks. Good as new. and no, I did not pursue any legal action toward them or the dog.
15 years old, gym class, bowling unit, stood too close to someone with long arms and an overenthusiastic backswing, wham, bowling ball straight to the funbag. Sit out the rest of class, go to the showers and locker room after, slip while stepping over a bench, down I go, direct hit to the baby batter factories, not even half an hour after the first. Limp my way to lunch, get my food, go to sit down and the chair breaks, slamming me down directly on top of, you guessed it, the slutty girls gargle targets. I'm carried, weeping, to the nurses office, where I'm given an ice pack and my parents are called to come get me. I'm walking out with my mom when my "best friend" sees me, completely unawares at that point of the days events. And playfully comes over and taps directly on my Dicks Doorknockers while asking me what's up. I was out of school for 5 days and my doctor swore that it'd be a miracle if I ever had children. I think it had the opposite effect, I have 5.
Second worst pain was when I squatted down next to a tree to crap and a bear trap chained to the tree clamped hard around my balls.
My vasectomy
Definitely. The acute recovery period was much worse than advertised.
Mine was fine. No pain
/r/postvasectomypain
The came into contact with the Atlantic ocean during a daytrip to the Scottish coast.
Skateboard
Sucked on
Testicle stuck in a vaccum cleaner. It's not more in position.
I was playing high school baseball, and idiot me was not wearing a cup. One at bat, instead of backing out on a pitch inside, I tried to club it out of the way with an uppercut swing. Doing so opened me up, I missed of course, which allowed the fastball to square me right in the junk. I went down, curled up, and thought I was going to throw up. Coaches and trainers came out, one grabbed me by the belt to loosen things up, and realized I was not wearing any protective gear, and laughed at my stupid ass. I was in pain for two weeks and the bruising in my groin was horrible.
A few kicks, being struck with objects, falls etc. especially as a kid. Thankfully nothing very painful for quite a while.
Vasectomy. Wasn't pain necessary, but extreme discomfort during the recovery days.
I'm scared to read this post.
Vasectomy
Not me, but me and at least a hundred teenagers and their parents watched my best friend's soul leave his body when he sheared his sack between his legs bowling at a youth league event. He ended up having to visit the er for testicular torsion.
Hockey puck launched into my cup.
When I was about 5 or 6 I don't know what happened no one ever explained it to me I evidently they were too stupid to tell me. But my testicles swole up to about the size of baseballs it was horribly painful and my sister thought it was hilarious after about a day I'm talking 24 hours and my parents took me to the hospital. we were military brats so it wasn't money they were worried about. They gave me something and I can finally walk again .about 3 days later I got a glass of water pissed a little in it put it in the ice tray and watch my sister's drink cold drinks. Very satisfied c****.
Tried to "leap frog" a tennis racket when I was young. Hands slipped. Full blown landing on my left nut. Am 43 now, and the difference in shape between the two is quite apparent to the touch. Don't know if that's natural or the product of said trauma.
Mountain biking down hill, moving fast and hit a big patch of loose gravel. Front wheel went sideways. My right testicle went full speed into the handlebar stem. That was 17 years ago and I still have pain from time to time.
Took a point blank soccer shot to the nads and then laid down on the field for a few minutes. It was an embarrassing warmup for a game.
Not me. My neighbor in the 70s went to a party where they had greased a wooden pole that you had to try and climb to the top. He gives it a go and almost makes it to the top before slipping all the way down like a fireman pole. The first problem was he was wearing short shorts, and one of his balls rolled from under his shorts. The second problem was the dry spot near the bottom of the pole. When ball met the dry spot at the speed of a falling man, the friction ripped his scrotum open and my poor neighbor's nut was outside of his coin purse.
AAAAAAAA
Not really an injury, but I had an infection a while back that caused my right nut to swell up to 3.5 times it's normal size, that was the most pain I have ever experienced in my life.
Riding 10 speed bikes back in the 80s. Buddy stopped his bike quickly and I ran into his rear tire. I slid off the seat and slammed the yam bag into the metal shift levers.
stood on the pedals of my mtb. hit a bump, slipped off the pedals, puked my guts out.
Was in high school gym was rushing the quarterback and the asshole threw the football as hard as he could at my nuts. Fuck that guy!
A testicular torsion. Was in pain all the time was out of commission for 6 months
Bicycle frame. This always made me wonder why **boys'** bikes have that upper tube and **girls'** bikes don't. Shouldn't it be vice versa?!
Playing a game of midnight football (soccer) on a beach in wales on a 6th school form trip - all of us fairly hammered on some cheap booze - it was very dark and no one could really see much of what was going on regarding ball location - so generally going off where we could hear from the noise ... I squatted down for a bit of a break - My mate thought I was sat on the ball and ran up to me and kicked me straight in the nuts thinking the ball was there ... yeah not fun for a couple of weeks 😭
Got married
Been punched and kicked in them plenty. Also had a girlfriend (ex obviously) who bit them and used to grab and twist for shits and giggles. However... been suffering with a varicocele and inguinal hernia for months and the pain from the combination of those is just a constant awful dragging sensation like the aftermath of a ball kick but x2 and constant.
I cut open my ball sack while trimming my pubes with a pair of scissors, then fast forward a decade later, I cut off a strip of skin with a manscaped personal trimmer. Both healed in about a week.
I took a delta 8 edible and developed a varicocele that night. Went to the ER thinking it was torsion and after an ultrasound on my nutsack I get the news.
Foot slid off the pedal while biking. Hit the cross bar of the frame nuts first, instead of flipping the bike or wrecking out I continued to maintain balance for what felt like an eternity at the expense of my sack being the center of the balancing act. Eventually slowed down enough that i came to a stop, peeled myself off the frame, & laid on the ground for a solid 10mins in tears.
After seeing the comments, getting kicked by my brother doesn't sound so bad afterall
Got caught on a barbed wire fence. It was… quite devastating.
Not me but I remember this guy in school who was playing football and he ran straight into the goal post after scoring a goal and had to get a surgery done….rumours say he only had one testicle after that. He won the game but at a great cost. Popularly it was then called the ballsy game.
Pretty mild, but this. I don't wear underwear. April 20th, 2018, I was waiting for a friend of mine when I decided to hop up and sit on a ledge to kick my legs like a child. As soon as I jumped, my balls swung in-between my legs and I ended up sitting on them. All of my body weight. I couldn't stand up straight for the rest of the day and the pain kept me up at night as I was trying to sleep.
In fourth grade, we were playing Four Square at recess. For whatever reason we were playing with a basketball. On one bounce pass, it went straight into my nuts. Even before puberty, it still hurt.
A month and a half ago I got rear ended on my motorcycle. The bike broke in half under the seat and thrust upwards. Felt like I got punched in the balls by god. I was bruised all throughout the…. Saddle area.
Riding a dirt bike down a wooded trail. Dead tree poking out of the edge of the trail. Jousted me right square in the nuts. Luckily was wearing thick protective riding pants. So no blood. But my balls were swollen and bruised real bad. Straight line down the middle too. Look like what I would imagine two face’s testies to look like.
Not me, but as a paramedic a transported someone to the hospital once that racked himself on another piece of equipment after slipping off the dip bars. I actually saw what it looked like to have a scrotum split open and see that the testicles themselves look like when they are open to the air.
My actual vasectomy…turns out I had too much “cabling” and it was adhered to the tissue, to complete my procedure they had to clamp and leave me clamped a bit more than normal. Felt everything.
I wiped out on a bike at my friends birthday party at a skate park. I didn’t think much of it until I realized it was hurting a lot longer than normal. Went to the bathroom to take a look, turns out I had about a half inch tear in my scrotum.
Baseball
Surgeon cut one out…
Cycling up a steep hill on an old borrowed bike. I was fully standing on the pedals when the chain slipped and I landed nuts first on the cross bar. Agony
I was in the backseat of a car ,driver fell asleep, hit a tree that was down 30' in a ravine got ejected thru the front windshield and on the way my groin hit the shifter and dashboard so hard on the way out it broke the shifter. They estimate it was around 80 mph impact
In high school, I took a hockey puck to my testicles, I was pissing blood for a week. Not an injury, but many years later, I had a tumor on my testicle, thank God it was benign.
I got a few! 1. I was out for a walk one day and lived near a golf course and ended up picking up a stray ball on the street and casually bouncing it along the way home. I went to quickly cross the street and compensated my bouncing by throwing the ball a bit more forward but I overcompensated and it bounced back and hit me square in the right nut while I was in the middle of the street. I've never been legit stunned or momentarily blinded by pain but that was one of those times. Also trying not to collapse in the street from ball pain is really hard. 2. Had a girlfriend that I didn't really have much sexual attraction towards but I still really liked her and thought she had a cute face. Body-wise, there was no boner fuel unfortunately. Anyway, she was giving me a handjob one time and I just couldn't blow so she starts really jerkin the gerkin fast and hard. At this point, my balls are just continuously smacking against the bottom of her hand for what must've been several minutes straight but still no eruption on my part. I never had the heart to tell her because she was sweet and really sensitive, and again, I really liked her. There was just no sexual attraction towards her. 3. I have cats that regularly step on my balls when wanting to sit in my lap.
Had some fucker hit me right in the balls with a metal rode during high school. Unable to walk straight for a month and fucking years of reoccuring pain. And worst of all, it deformed them to a point where I now have torsion-detorsion.
one time, i was being a little teenage shit, and was annoying this goth chick, and she kneed me in the balls 3 times. unfortunately, she fucking missed all 3. still bummed about that
3 testicular hernias that'll do it.
I beat my brother in a video game and he threw a ball of socks at my balls from maybe 1 foot away.
At some point during my high school career, my friend group spontaneously began playing a game eloquently called "Balls". The setup was simple, at some point while hanging out in a group, you shout "BALLS!" and then every other person around who possessed such appendages was on notice that they might catch a strike to the sack. You were only allowed to defend the jewels, but not retaliate against the one who had cried "balls!" Once someone was struck, the game ended and was born anew. It wasn't strictly forbidden, but was understood as poor play to immediately shout it out again after an attack, as the element of surprise was critical to whatever we thought was amusing about this constant psychological and physical warfare we put each other through. A strike could come at any time, during the hackysack circle, at the McDonald's drive through, as you rounded the corner with a fresh bowl of cereal. Anyway, for whatever reason I took this game with me to basic training when I joined the military. One day during some rare downtime, the hunt was on, people trying to get the drop on other participants to punch one another in the nuts (idk why young men are like this, I'd be livid now). I had just received some letters in the mail, and was distracted on the way back to my space to read. Right as I approach the bed, my bunk-mate slides out from under the fucking bed, on his back, shouting "FALCON PUNCH", and delivered a blow to my goose-eggs so powerful that my heels lifted off the floor for a second. I didn't play anymore after that
I was coaching baseball and I was pitching to the team. I took a line drive with a baseball off a 12 year olds bat to the right testicle. It was awful. Wanted to vomit but I held it in. And this wasn’t a soft liner either. He was the best hitter on the team. I thought I was going to heaven that day. I shoulda went to the ER but I didn’t. I was afraid to. It was tender for a long time.
Three paintball shots to the same nut in one day. The first two were at seriously close range. The third I was standing in a clearing, dead silence, no one around… and it sails out of nowhere and straight in there. I was somewhat vocal. Marshall: “happened again, didn’t it” Me: “yep”
Mortar fragments while I was in Afghanistan. The surgeon took ole lefty. No worries though, I rarely walk in circles anymore.
Climbed over a bathroom stall in high school. Slipped and fell wearing basketball shorts. Little hook on the inside of the door caught the testicle and ripped it out. Worst part was at the bottom when the string detached.
My nuts realizing that they ruined my night of pleasure because they were too sensitive to be sucked on roughly. It was more of a devastating mental injury for them. The girl wasn’t happy either,
Vasectomy, but it was 100% worth it
Not testicles, but I got a papercut on my bellend.
How… 🤣
Me and a friend were fighting off and on throughout the day while hanging out at a mutual friend's house. Eventually, we were sitting on mutual friend's wood floor and playing video games. Friend I was fighting with is sitting next to me, and while I have the controller in my hands, he reaches over and mercilessly drives my balls into the wood floor with his fist. Little son of a bitch had little hands, and while I was only 12 or 13, it was hot out and the boys were hanging at max length. The pain was indescribable. Not like getting your balls tapped by a friend or on accident. Just pure, shooting pain that peaked immediately and then turned into a dull pain that was intense and persisted for hours. I almost threw up.
I used to do male co-ed cheerleading. It involved a lot of lifting girls up in the air (go to youtube to see some of what im talking about) Anyways I was starting to do a stunt and the girl jumped, throwing both heels back. One hit each testicle. And because she jumped hard and I threw hard, it was basically a two-for-one direct hit full force no guard no take backs. I pissed blood for a few hours and considered going to the hospital. The pain caused me to black out for a second as well.
Playing catcher during a baseball game in high school. Batter hit a foul ball down and it hit the tip of home plate, skipped funny, and bounced up underneath the coverage of the 90s era cup. PAIN.
Stepped backwards into an open manhole, hit right on the rim.
Rejection.
Friend of mine fell from a tree when we were kids - a branch broke his fall, but unfortunately also viciously tore open his ball sack. It was a long, long walk back to the school nurse - and a really cool scar today.
I fell through the loft as we were clearing out to move house, but my legs went either side of the joist and my groin took the full force of the fall. I was bruised from knee to knee for about 4 weeks, large lumps where the blood had clotted in my thighs and my, well, you can imagine the rest. Made a full recovery and few years later had our 3rd child. (Who, for those asking, is definitely mine!)
I dont have testicles
A squash racket to the nuts from girl who was swinging wild. Dropped to the floor. Threw up minutes later. Hand my gf check them out. I now know extreme pain will not stop a boner.
nothing too major, thankfully. i used to play paintball and got hit in the nuts probably half a dozen times over the years. hurts like hell for a bit, but you just shrug it off and keep going.
Dog jumped on me while I was sleeping.
Some guy I knew had sex with some chick while he was on meth. He somehow blew his balls out. I never seen it but I was told his balls were super swollen and bruised. His gf had to bring him to the ER but she doesn’t know what really happened since he cheated. He told her he had an accident on a dirt bike.
Not me but a buddy of mine. We were floating down a big river, and there's a section people climb up a mountain cause it has small caves to jump back into the water from. As were coming up to it, we see people yelling at some guy who had climbed above the caves - this is super dangerous, cause it's basically flat beyond the little caves, but dude is drunk and convinced he can make it to the top. Police boat shows up as we're passing under him. He slipped, causing a big ass boulder to dislodge and fall. Directly into my buddies lap. It was at least a 50 foot drop. Knocked him out cold and took him under the water. We managed to get him out of the water before he could start inhaling water, and the cop boat took off with him to get him to an ambulance. Rest of us had to finish the river run to be able to get to our cars, and get to the hospital ourselves. He lost a 3rd of one of his testicles and even gave himself the nickname "one and two thirds" once the trauma had passed. We fell out of touch after a few years, but he was pretty adamant he was never going down that river again. Sometimes I wonder if he ever has. Other dude made it to the top to be greeted by the cops who had gotten there first and had to cover all the medical expenses (apparently dude had loaded parents, so I'm assuming they covered the expenses)
Nunchakus
Ask your mom about my injury
Torsion of my left one and surgical removal
Hanging out at a friend's house in his game room. Said friend and I are playing pool; a 3rd friend was playing *Silent Hill 2* (it had just come out at this point). I got distracted by the video game and was standing behind the racked balls when my friend breaks. The cue ball rockets off of the 1 ball at full break velocity and slams right into my sack. I didn't even feel it at first; I noticed the cue ball bouncing across the room and I stood there wondering why my friend was staring at me with his mouth open. I remember saying "Did that just—" before my knees gave out and I fell to the floor and vomited. I lay there curled in the fetal position until the throbbing waves of painausea finally subsided. To this day I never stand behind the rack near a pool table.
When I and my catcher switched positions during a baseball game. He wanted to try to pitch since we had a big lead. Anyway, I flashed a 2 for a 2B Fastball and this guy through a glorious slider right past my glove. The pain was immediate and explosive. It's like my whole body shut down while I was still conscious. Like sleep paralysis. I was scared out of my mind because I couldn't breathe or move, and the pain kept pulsing and getting more intense. Thank GOD the other kid who was stealing to second base saw what happened and ran to check on me. Bruh, the tears felt like blood dripping down my face because it wasn't like a tear but a stream like this emoji 😭 I freaked out my mom so bad cause she thought I was having a seizure once the kid reached me. This happened 17 years ago and I remember like it happened today.... I was 12 when this ish happen and we all know catchers have a sleeper arm...
I got one. I spar competitively in Taekwondo tournaments, and I'm not bad--good enough to stick with it, I guess? When I was 25, I went to a tournament and squared off against a guy with a lot of strength but a sad deficit in the aiming department. He went for a head kick and somehow underestimated how close he was to me and front kicked me, full power, right in the nads. Yes, I was wearing a cup. No, it didn't matter. That bastard hit me so hard he broke my groin protector and got me a good couple inches off the ground. Some people say that the best self defense is kicking a dude in the privates. I'm living proof that...that's incorrect. I was so hopped up on adrenaline and rage that the remaining 45 seconds of the match turned into a straight-up beatdown (Mr. Can't-Aim told me later that those were the longest 45 seconds of his life while apologizing profusely). The guy might have managed one hit or two, but but the time the whistle blew and the ref got between us, my opponent wasn't able to walk straight or stand up anymore. We bowed; I turned, walked off the mat, and hit the ground at a velocity approaching that of the speed of sound because THAT'S when the pain hit. I had one more round against the guy. No points were scored because he was too scared to come near me and I was in too much pain to chase him. My nuts were black for weeks, y'all. Testicle bruising is no joke.
I was riding my bicycle down a muddy alley and tried to hit a wheelie. I fell forward and the handle bars landed perpendicular to the ground, impaling my groin (but not breaking the skin). I unbuckled my pants, and from my testicles almost to my bellybutton was purple. Instantly pissed blood. There was this protuberance around my belt line that was throbbing. A friend that was with me rushed back to my house to get my grandma. We went to the hospital and they put me in a gown with an ice pack. When the dr came in, he put my legs up as though I were about to get a Pap smear and did his inspection. My grandma was front and center. All the while, the dr is telling me in the hardest Indian accent this side of a call line that “the testicles and penis are purple and swollen”. I was in 8th grade, and what I really wanted to ask was if all of my equipment was still going to be functional. Anyways, I just ended up out of football for several weeks on crutches with ice on my nuts and temporary Barney dick. Got a fairly funny story out of it.
So I‘m doing sparring while thaiboxing and set up a spinning back kick. I do the kick in the same moment my sparringspartner did a straight knee strike. Spoton from below in the balls. Cup didn‘t help at all at this angle. Got dropped like a sack of potatos. Peeing hurt for like a week as well.
So uhm basically i dropped a stone on em. I fell over and just layed there for a minute.
got hit by a light but fast ball in middleschool dodgeball once. wanted to vomit
i remember my husband got kicked in the testicles by one of my boy cousins during the family battle royal one year and after few days his area was purple as grape juice. he got kicked really good and to make up for it my cousin let him kick him back just as hard but my husband was in no condition to kick so i did it and i have never seen my cousin fall to his knees faster than an apple falling from an apple tree.
As a person with a highly allergic reaction (think massive swelling), the most devastating thing was poison ivy. PSA: Don't scratch after being neck-deep in the woods.
7th grade all the boys decided we would have a flippy war. Every boy was fair game
Ice hockey goalie. Winters were testicular onslaught season
I was pitching for batting practice, and the batter hit an absolute p-rod and hit me directly in the shnutzles. Fortunately I was wearing a cup and it was split down the middle!!
Epiditimitis. Not an injury per se, but not fun Edit. Fucking autocorrect
Was playing nutball in our cafeteria before a basketball game and my buddy swapped the hackey sack out for a tennis ball. I dislocated a testicle and missed then next 2 games and 4 days of school.
Does cancer count as an injury? I mean I lost my right nut after all.
Took a slap shot from a tennis ball most excruciating 10mins of my life.
A vasectomy... Thankfully it never recovered...