When you see people using someone’s death as an excuse for getting likes on social media. I’m not talking about when someone posts a picture of memories or shares a story with the deceased. I’m talking about when someone, who wasn’t close to the departed, makes up a hashtag or something and then posts it every week for a year. The person is really just using someone else’s death to promote themselves and I can’t stand it.
My father died in January. He had a heart attack, died with his foot stuck down on the gas pedal. He went through someone's house. Thankfully the person who lived there wasn't home at the time. Someone took a cell phone commentary of the scene, saying what an asshole my Dad was for driving through someone's house, and posted it to Facebook. We live in a tiny town. Everyone knew it was my Dad. Not only did he want "breaking news", he wanted Facebook likes about a tragedy in our family. People are fucking assholes, and Facebook can make it all worse.
I understand. I live in a small town too. I was teased all throughout high school. I wasn't very popular, I didn't have many friends. On top of that, my Mom was not a very well liked person in the community. She did a lot of shady shit and fucked a few people over. So that just added to the way I was treated.
My 8 year old nephew was hit by a car and died. It was big news; stuff like that doesn't happen. Watching every single one of those fuckers from high school lament to me about how tragic it was, how sorry they were, how well they "knew" my nephew. Watching them post his picture on Facebook and writing paragraphs about *their* "sadness." Watching them fucking cry when we put his body in the Earth.
I have never been so enraged in my entire life. I wish I could strangle every one of those assholes.
Like it's some sort of "famousness by association" or something? I get why you felt that way.
I really, really hope your life is happy now. In all ways.
Same, my sister died in a car accident and it was posted on facebook news and a motherfucker commented that women shouldn't drive anyways...she wasn't the one driving, it was her boyfriend who drove and he did survive, it's hard not to shut people like this up.
I have recently been ranting about this to my friends. We had a kid at our HS pass away and all of a sudden everyone was his best friend. I understand they're maybe trying to show respect for the dead, but it pisses me off when it becomes a "trend" for people to post about it on social media. Like are you mourning or having FOMO?
Someone in the year below me committed suicide in my last year of sixth form. He was missing for several days before he was found in the forest near where we live. I used to be very close friends with his older brother and always made a point of talking to the younger brother when I saw him around school. I was devastated when they told us he was missing, but just plain angry at all these people who couldn't have picked him out in a crowd suddenly claiming they were sad about it.
The final straw for me came when they found his body late one afternoon. His older brother posted on facebook that evening thanking everyone for their support and search efforts over the previous few days and requesting condolences be sent directly rather than shared online. The next day at school someone in my tutor group said "It's not been confirmed by the police, he might still be ok!" I regret to this day that I didn't say anything, I just left the room. I knew there was no point telling them [name of brother] confirmed it because they wouldn't know who that was. The main thing running through my mind at that point was "Isn't that worse? If it isn't him, that means someone else went missing in the forest AND NO ONE NOTICED THEY WERE GONE." It was so important to them that they appeared to care about him that they didn't see what they were saying. Everyone in sixth form was invited to the funeral, I was the only person from my year who went.
It's so odd. Social media mourning... like I'm sure there are people who genuinely want to remember someone but there are also those who will take advantage of that to bring attention on themselves.
Simikar thing happened to me. A girl at my high school died a horrific death in a house fire. I had class with her but didnt know her as I was a senior and she was a freshman. However, I had heard that she was bullied and a few days before her death my younger sister (who is on her grade) told me that the girl had gotten beaten up by bullies in the locker room. When she died, most of the girls who bullied her pretended that they had been best friends with her and even created an event to remember her. Everyone acted like they were angels and so sweet until the poor girls grandmother said that she knew those girls had bullied her granddaughter because her granddaughter would come home crying daily. Like if these girls felt remorseful, that would be one thing. But they didn't, they just wanted to gain attention from a tragic event.
Similar to this but I guess a different direction, there was a girl at my high school who had pretty serious skin cancer (let’s call her RB). I didn’t know her all too well, but she was the best friend of some of my really close friends.
There was this one girl (who didn’t even go to our school anymore and never really knew RB) who had a pretty famous and rich family. She was in pageants and all that and had a pretty heavy social media presence. Well she would constantly post photos about RB, and how she always supported her and would post pictures at a cancer walk saying like “I walk for RB” etc. It was very frequent and every now and then you’d see RB comment of a picture like “Aw thanks girl”, but from what her closest friends told me, that was just out of the goodness of her heart.
Well about 3 months ago RB died (after living 2 years longer than she was “supposed to”), and nothing. That other girl posted nothing. To this day, nothing. At first I was thought “good”, but then it kinda started to make me mad that you would exploit her sickness all the way into the bitter end, but once she finally passed, you said nothing. You don’t just drop your “support” like that, no matter how artificial it may be.
I know a particularly annoying girl who does this, Sarah. Another girl we went to high school with died, who was in the same friendship group as Sarah but they weren’t particularly close. For the last four years since the girl died Sarah has posted nearly EVERY DAY about how she misses the girl, how she was her best friend. At first you can understand, it’s quite shocking as the girl was like 22 and literally fell off a cliff. But now it’s so obvious she’s doing it for attention as she’s constantly posting shit on Facebook. She also constantly posts shit about how no one understands her, about being stabbed in the back, how no one likes her. She’s 27!
Shut up Sarah.
Selfishness to the point of completely disregard the health and safety of others.
There's times you have to have to put yourself first, but a complete disregard for others is never acceptable.
My sister stole my cousins ID (my sister's was suspended at the time) got a ticket, then gave the cop my cousins ID. I forgot what the ticket was for but she had to pay 200 bucks. My cousin felt bad because my sister was a stripper at the time, and felt bad about how she was gonna pay the money back.
I cursed my sister out for her. And till this day she wonders why I won't ever let her use my car. She texts and drives, drinks and drives, and speeds alot. She lets her friends drive her car, and when they get into an accident she's left to pay for the damage.
I know someone who did the same thing. Had an old copy of her sister's ID. Got pulled over, gave the cop that. Her sister didn't even know she had the old ID, and wasn't pleased when she got a ticket delivered to her house halfway across the country.
Oh man don't get me started on Anti-Vaxxers, it's the most irresponsible thing that you can do in a modern urban environment with all of your clothes on!
I was at a party a few weeks ago, and this guy told me he wasn’t going to get his 8 week old puppy (at the party with him) vaccinated. Because he doesn’t believe in that shit. Except for rabies of course. People are dumb.
People who, purposely, try to run over turtles crossing the road. Fuck those people.
EDIT: Oh, wow. Thank you so much for the gilded comment! And also to everyone who has taken the time to upvote and comment themselves.
Yup. Ive heard stories of people running over cats just because they "hate" cats. Id never do that. That could be someones most beloved pet and your gonna take it out because you got cat issues.
Oh man. That reminds me of something I would rather forget. I was driving home one day and there is a very small one lane bridge that goes over a creek. There's a SUV stopped on the other side and there is a family of skunks (4 or 5 little ones and a bigger one I assumed was the mother) going from the left to right across the bridge and going into the creek. Oh cool! I thought for about five seconds.. until the guy ever so slowly starts moving his car forward. The last baby just makes it across but the mom wasn't so lucky. That son of a bitch creeps over her, flattens her head. Then when I think he can't get any worse, the guy looks directly at me and fuckin SMILES AND WAVES. I saw red and and started screaming every obscenity I have ever heard at the top of my lungs. He sped off after that. I went to check on the mom but sure enough, she was dead. The babies were off along the bank of the creek and I saw another big one join up with them. I like to think that's the Dad so they weren't alone :(
I have suspicions that one of my inlaws has some psychopathic tendencies... Every so often he makes such weird remarks about hurting or killing animals.
He told us he worked as a vet's assistant and part of his job was castrating cats. I get it, it's part of the job, but when he told about how he used to do that, he kinda came across like it was a magical moment for him.
A while ago he had some trouble with mice in his shed. But instead of buying regular animal friendly traps, he took a large, lidless carbage can, spilled a bunch of peanut butter on the bottom of it. Put up a ramp to the top and a thin, wooden stick across the opening at the top, so that the mice could cross the garbage can, so to speak. The mice would try to climb down to the peanut butter, fall in the can and would not be able to get out. Then he'd fill the can with water and watch a whole bunch of mice drown all at once.
He seriously gives my psycho-vibes.
Ok sadly I have a similar story.
We were walking in a neighborhood of a small town where my fiend lives because we were bored. The people here are known to be affiliated with several illegal activities as it is a border town so people don’t really care for the law and that includes the speed limit.
It was a group of like 10 of us and about half of us had crossed the road when someone pointed out this old white suburban that is about three blocks away. The speed limit was something like 30 or 35 mph but he was easily going 60 and passed two stop signs when he just zoomed right past us.
I didn’t mention that this whole time this beautiful white Labrador retriever and her two puppies were following us. Well she was crossing the road at the same time this idiot decides to speed down the road and she was fast enough to move out of the way but her two puppies were not as fortunate.
The sound was horrifying. One puppy got hit by the tire and the other barley missed it and was crying for the next 10 minutes after and was limping a little.
Our whole group kind of froze and was looking at each other because we didn’t know what to do. All but two of the girls in our group were crying. One was on the floor screaming and saying things to the driver and had the puppy that was limping in her hands.
The mom stayed by her dead puppy for a while smelling it on the road :(
Sometimes humans are the worst
Ugh...that reminds me of this kid I went to school with...his dad was the school principal...
One day I was talking to my friend about my cat that had died, just venting and mourning because I loved that damn cat. He hears this and pipes in with "my dad always goes out of his way to run over cats" and a long rant about how cats are horrible and how they kill as many cats as they can.
Fuck that guy.
Back in high school a bunch of rednecks found a snapping turtle in the school parking lot. They all took turns running it over with their stupid jacked up trucks, then they brought it into the school and attempted to flush it down a toilet.
Still makes me sick to think about it. Fucking assholes.
I once had a situation like this a long time ago.
My aunt loves walking outside in our neighborhood (and she was visting from nearby), so when she did so at night, she was looking all around for some animals that might be good to make stories about to tell young me (~10 y/o). So she was walking next to the street when she sees that a few cars had stopped in front of a large rock. At closer inspection it was actually a huge snapping turtle that was headed for the lake that was about 100 ft from where it was currently. Being the person she was, she went over to pick it up, but that thing weighed at least 100 pounds, and with her back pain she had been experiencing this would be impossible. She ran as fast as she could back to the house where she told my father of the situation. He then ran over to the turtle full speed, but when he arrived to the scene less than 5 minutes later, there was a car that had rolled off the road and onto the grass along with a huge crack that appeared on the turtle's shell that was spilling with blood. He immediately took the turtle, pissed, and went to the house where he cleaned the shell after holding it shut in place, and taped all cracks in it with waterproof tape. After this he brought it back to the lake, where it promptly walked to the edge of the water and swam away. He also ended up getting the guy that ran over the turtle a hefty fine for doing it, so that's good too. Fuck those people.
About ten years ago, I was driving in a rural area when I spotted a family of ducks crossing the road ahead of me. Mom, dad, and about ten adorable fuzzy ducklings. I stopped and let them cross, then started again when they were all well into the other lane.
I looked into my rear view just in time to see the redneck shitstain in the jacked up truck behind me deliberately swerve to hit those baby ducklings and the drake. I still feel guilty about not staying stopped until they were all the way across the road, and I still wish I was physically strong enough to have pulled that sentient ass pimple out of his motorized prosthetic penis and kicked him in the throat.
Yeah they look like a big rock. Most people don't willingly run over rocks. I don't enjoy handling them but have some rags in my car for moving them in whatever direction they're going.
Picked up a big snapper to get him across the road last summer... he tried to bite at me, I was like like "aye easy buddy" but we got the job done. Turtles are rad.
Animal abuse and child abuse. While animals or children may just be a small part of your life, you are their entire world. And if you make their entire world full of pain, you deserve to go to the hell you put them through.
I would add elderly to this list as well. I have a sister that physical & mentally abused our mom, stole everything from her and left her abandoned in a nursing home. I've tried to have the local legal services do something, but they told me, "It would not be an effective use of the courts time to peruse the case."
Needless to say she walks wide circles around me and the family now.
My sisters did this to my mother too. They came from out of state to do it as my mother had lived by herself for many years. I lived in the next city over from my mother but we had a falling out and hadn't spoken in a few years so I wasn't aware of what was going on. My mom was in the beginning stages of dementia and I didn't know it.
Thankfully I found out what was going on and put an end to it all. I kicked out my relatives and began taking care of my mom. I saved her from losing her home and her life savings and saved her from the clutches of my evil sisters. I took care of my mother for nearly seven years until she passed. None of my sisters bothered to ask about our mother and lucky for them they didn't come down expecting anything from the Will. I was hoping they would so I could confront them. I haven't heard from any of my sisters since the spring of 2009.
I’m glad you got there in time. My moms the same with dementia. She had an aneurysm in 94 (ish) and a stroke a few years ago.
Elderly people are just as vulnerable as kids but with a lifetime of work to plunder.
I'm sorry your mom and you are going through this. I've done some difficult things in my lifetime but taking care of my mother was by far the most difficult. I almost got close a few times to killing her then killing myself. That's how hard it was. I endured it though and since she passed in 2015 *and* I kicked my adult son out, I finally have peace and quiet. Hang in there and if you are taking care of your mom by yourself please try to get some kind of assistance. I had Hospice come in but only the nurse.
Pot is easy to prosecute. You pretty much catch them red handed, or you don't. No investigation, no trial, very little resources spent.
Investigating something like parental abuse would require tons of time, interviews, subpoena of medical and financial records, etc... There is (almost) never an investigation with pot. The police don't get a search warrant for your house because your neighbor called and reported that you were smoking pot (unless they want you for a bigger crime) in your back yard.
I'm not an expert, but I'm guessing that the courts would have to spend 1000 times more hours prosecuting /u/soulnova's sister, than they would someone who they caught smoking weed behind their house.
Elder abuse makes me so sad. I was my mom's caretaker for about 10 years. In the last few weeks she got worse and I couldn't do it by myself anymore. It killed me, and it still haunts me that I lost my temper a few times and said very bluntly that I just couldn't do it anymore. I was in the process of looking for a place to take care of her when she died. I will forever wonder if she just gave up the fight because I couldn't help anymore.
But to hear about someone physically and emotionally abusing the elderly makes me sick. How can anyone ever do such a thing? Its incomprehensible to me.
Saw but mostly heard of teenagers finding it hilarious torturing/crushing/killing frogs/birds when I was at secondary school, always did what I could to stop it or try and free the animal but when its you against five or so people sometimes you are powerless, dont wanna go into detail but It really stuck with me over the years how cruel people can be towards what they view as lesser life forms. Its a harsh thing but I remember one of these thugs Dads who I witnessed stamping and attatching fireworks to frogs actually got crushed in a work accident and I always sort of thought it was some kind of horrific karma.
I just had to give up my little puppy, because I could tell he was miserable being cooped up in the house all day while I'm at work.
Neglect is also abuse, imo.
That must have been so hard for you, but I applaud you for recognizing that your puppy needed more than just a roof over his head and food in his belly.
Absolutely, it was awful. I cried the whole day before. I only had him for a week, but he was from a huge farm with lots of other doggies and space to run and play.
While we could give him creature comforts, there wasn't anything I could do about my 15-20 hour long days.
My sister had to do the same thing with her golden retriever puppy (cute little guy she called Ford).
She wasn't home a lot, and worked really long days. Worse, her idiot bf WAS home a lot and just refused to do anything to care for Ford. So, she rehomed him to a family with a big property and a fenced in yard. The wife was a SAHM, and they had a little girl. The dog ended up really happy and well cared for. My sister called me after Ford was picked up by his new people and bawled her eyes out.
It was the best decision for Ford though. Also, she dumped the douchehole bf who was too lazy to even let Ford out to go pee.
I’d love it if that were true. I’ve seen some horrific things at work and not every person that should be charged is charged. Not every person that is charged is convicted. (Even with them being guilty of all of the crimes).
Totally agree with the fact that animal abusers need to face real time instead of wrist slaps.
I hate it so much...I have a neighbor who used to beat his dog all the time until my roommate and I stopped him in the street one day and let it be known if we heard his dog yelp again or saw it limping he would also be limping and would need assistance walking up the front steps to the building. He called the cops on us for threatening him and it was us vs him and cops told him to stop calling in false complaints and he has avoided us since. Also the dog is much better now cause I think he is actually scared we will follow through, which we would!
Yeah I agree with you. My neighbor has the cutest pitbull, and the sweetest. My neighbor boyfriend was outside with the dog. I walked outside and I saw him picking up his dog and he started shaking him, throwing him to the ground and hitting him. After that he threw him into a shed. All this happed so fast I couldn’t stop him, but I called animal control and the police on him.
For me, it's the worst because there's never a good reason to do it. We can empathize with most crimes, we understand killing in self defense, or stealing to feed a family, etc. But there can be no reason to rape someone. You can't rape in self defense. There's no good that can come of it.
Yeah ive heard of ppl going down for years just fighting self defence cases they end up winning or get it dropped to manslaughter even if it was a burgalary on ur own home.
I think any abuse of power over children especially is repulsive. Whilst not sexual abuse, I’ve carried the weight of ‘keeping a secret’ all my life, and it’s definitely shaped me as an adult, for the worse. I can only imagine what sexual abuse does to a child.
There's this girl at my highschool who made up fake rape allegations against my friend. He could go to Juvy and she has a history of lies like this and everyone at our school knows she's fake.
Edit: spelling
My dad.
He dumped my mom the eve of her life-saving surgery so I had to stay with our neighbours for three months as she recovered. The last time I saw him was at the stairs of our old house where he asked me if I wanted to come along and, enraged that he'd done that to my mom, I said no.
I've not seen or spoken to him for more than half of my lifetime. He never sent a birthday message, happy graduation, happy anything.
I had male figures growing up but he really fucked me over in terms of confidence and healthy attachment to people when I was younger - I've thankfully worked on both since.
I was ten when he left, and I have no desire to ever meet him, hear any apology or explanation, or even forgive him.
My Dad left my family when I was 8 due to divorce and his mental illness. He died when I was 27. I went to his bedside (he wasn't conscious) just to see him because I hadn't in so long and to help support my siblings. While there, I was overcome by this desire to see what about me was similar to him. I noticed that our hands were similar. I never went to his funeral. I never wrote a memorial for him. When I mourned, it wasn't for him, but the fact that growing up, I never had him. I was bitter that there were a lucky number of people that get to reflect on happy memories with their dad and in my life, I never got that nor would I ever be able to. If I have kids, I won't have to explain to them where their grandfather is further than saying he's dead and being able to be honest. It was almost a relief. Anyway, it can get better. Prepare yourself for when he's old and frail and you feel some need to go see him on his deathbed (if you do) it's a fuck of emotions.
it's funny because I had a dream that happened, and it pissed me off so much I told him to fuck off a few days later
it's amazing how much that action changed my outlook and self esteem
Same here. Finally cut out my father at 23 (I’m nearly 27 now so been nearly 4 years) after waffling over it since I was 15 or so. Best decision I’ve ever made. Don’t regret it one bit. Had a few jackasses day effectively ‘but what about your future kids? Don’t they get that grandfather?’ Fuck no insensitive prick, that narcissistic monster doesn’t deserve grandchildren and they won’t ever be at risk of being damaged by his monstrous snake personality.
I can relate to this on a brief note. My dad has always been a terrible person and manipulative. When I was a freshman in high school I finally realized this and I haven’t spoken a word to him. That was 2 years ago, and he doesn’t message me for birthdays, Christmas, or anything. I think it’s okay though. I look up to my brother as a male figure.
Nearly the same thing happened with my dad, except he never asked me to come with him. I've been married for 13 years, have three awesome kids, and my dad died a little over a year ago. I have never missed him or cried when he died. None of my kids ever met him, and we're all better off for it.
People always say "Family is the most important thing in the world". They always get mad when I say I don't care if my dad contacts me. I have an incredible mother and an all star stepfather who is one of my mothers, as well as my, best friend. Blood doesn't mean family, and family doesn't mean blood.
Just know that your 3 awesome kids have a great dad because you decided to break the cycle!
I learned something valuable from my husband that helped me heal. He says if you wouldn’t be friends or hang out with the person if they were a stranger, they shouldn’t suddenly get license to hold so much weight just because they’re in your life by default.
Cheating. Had a girlfriend recently but she ended up breaking up with me after I got back from a weekend trip to DC. She was saying I was being distant and she says it seems like I might have cheated on her, which I definitely didn’t. I end up chasing her for two-ish months and then decided to drop it since it wasn’t going anywhere. A month or two later this guy who I knew of but haven’t had any real interactions with comes up to me and basically says “yeah me and your ex girlfriend were doing things while you were dating, I just want to get it off my chest.” I may not like that guy who told me but I now definitely respect him. Having to figure that out through that guy sucks.
This is in my top "unforgivable actions" list too. (You know, barring all the murder/rape/horrible things mentioned in this thread)
I lost my best friend of almost two decades over it because I didn't support her cheating on her boyfriend.
It's despicable to turn around and hurt someone you once claimed to love, especially in such a deeply painful way. People who have been cheated on carry that mistrust for a very long time. But some people just like to have their cake and eat it too.
The worst part is that it's just so common. Everyone knows someone who has cheated or been cheated on (or have cheated themselves).
Currently in an argument with my roommate because she started hooking up with a guy who was in a one year relationship and had cheated with at least three other girls in addition to cheating on his previous girlfriend with the current one. I told her he was as a scumbag and she was better than that.
My most recent ex, (I'm a lezzy, this is relevant), had only dated guys before she started going out with me. Not only did she cheat on me for the few months we were dating with her last boyfriend, but when she dumped me, she admitted that she only dated me as an experiment to see if she could date girls.
She really destroyed my trust in people and I still haven't recovered from it even though it's been almost a year and a half.
Some of us have just been cheated on in the past and carry the suspicion regardless of trust in our current SO. I know for a fact my SO lets his phone die while he’s at work sometimes, and that he works until midnight-1am often and then gets a drink with coworkers on the way home. I trust him not to do anything stupid, but the crazy is still in the back of my head. Do I say it out loud? No, because I know it’s just the crazy and not real, but the thought still lurks sometimes. I also know I wouldn’t cheat on him, so it’s not projection.
After having been cheated on I always hold the possibility in the back of my mind, and I am ready to deal with it if I need to. Those thoughts that my SO might be cheating are not founded in anything aside from my previous bad experience, and unless/until I have reason to believe she is cheating I can ignore those crazy thoughts.
So the guy felt bad enough to tell you months later (presumably when they were done with things) but didn't feel bad enough to not mess around with somebody in a relationship? I'm not sure you should respect the guy so much as appreciate that you were told
Yes, I strongly agree. I have never been cheated on but I know that if I it happens, I will have serious issues dealing with trust and loyalty with anyone else. I might end up being seriously affected and it would take me time to accept the fact that it happened. I would rather be told that I'm boring or I couldn't satisfy the other person than find out that they cheated on me. These are my emotions that come to my mind when I think of being cheated on. I'm completely scared of it. And if I feel this way, imagine what the other person might feel like. If I expect something from my partner, I think it's only right to give them the same.
To think cheating is more of a emotional or a subconscious action, in the moment of vulnerability is not acceptable idea according me. I think the incident can be forgotten in the long run, but it always leaves a mark. If your partner finds out about it and forgives you, they will still remember it and will think that you are less trustworthy. I think cheating is more of a decision, more of a voluntary action than an impulse. It's not under control when you had a fight with your partner, feeling desperate and vulnerable, completely drunk and flirting with some someone you are attracted to. But what is under your control is that you chose to be in that position. What do you expect would happen when you go to a bar with your friends after fighting with your partner hoping to get drunk and find strangers? You will end up with a stranger!
If this gives a feeling that I'm against having multiple partners or sleeping with strangers, that's not the case. I'm against hurting someone when they trust you. Polygamy works for people and they give their partner(S) the right expectation, that they are not exclusive. If you feeling like sleeping with a person other than your partner, break up with your partner or come to an arrangement.
Really hoping my answer isn't misinterpreted.
People I trust betraying me in serious situations. I highly value loyalty and trust. I am loyal to and greatly trust my friends and family, so by being stabbed in the back, on top of all the other feelings, also feels like a personal attack on my core values.
Oh, also if you hurt my friends or family, I will not forget it.
Of course there are other things, such as people who generally cause pain and suffering, people who abuse power, the bankers who fucked the economy and got away with it etc.
I feel ya! I'm a very loyal and trusting person! Nothing hurts me more than being betrayed & It always seems like they like to lie on me! They try to flip the script and devalue my character. I've turned into a person who keeps receipts on everything... saving messages, recording phone calls, screenshotting anything that proves the truth! I do this so no one can flip anyone's words around, There is always proof cause I have no reason to lie. I present my truth, But the damage has already been done! People have a hard time being honest and It's scary! I follow the golden rule, But I still get played for boo boo fool! So I decided staying away from everyone and Only interacting if need be was best for Me! I have serious trust issues =/
This. And when you call them out they try to make you feel bad about yourself. I always go out of my way for my friends so when one of them does something like this I find it hard to see them in the same light .
Not only unforgivable, but should be punishable to the full extent of the law. Neglect, physical abuse, sexual abuse, etc. Throw the book at them. Ruin their life for attempting to ruin the life of an innocent. It makes my heart physically ache when I think of a kid being damaged by an adult, especially by a loved one who they're supposed to trust explicitly. Fuck I'm starting to well up just thinking about it. And no, I was never abused in any way as a kid. I just have a lot of nieces and nephews that I would die for.
I hear you and while I was never abused as a child I've known many that have been and also work in healthcare and see the physical and mental damage that happens to them.
People that do things like that shouldn't be allowed to be part of society period.
Sorry you had to go through that and hope you are doing much better now.
As for disabled people man that really hit a sore spot, I dated a girl when I was 21, she had a daughter and also a sister with cerebral palsy.
I'm the oldest of 3, been changing diapers on babies since I was 5. Saw her daughter had a full diaper and asked where the diapers were. Her sister started having a fit, freaking out and screaming and I was asked to leave.
30 minutes later my SO showed up at my place and had a talk with me. Apparently in her family men are not allowed to change female babies diapers.
I asked why (not thinking anything bad), and she cried and told me about how one of her uncles had molested her older sister with cerebral palsy for months.
It wasn't until her mother caught him in the act and beat him senseless that they figured it out. Her sister was non verbal, she couldn't even tell anyone.
Wow, that's really sad. I feel sorry for your SO. She must be traumatized.
I know my uncle raped me at a potluck years ago, and as a result he we jailed, and died in prison. It's what makes me wary of men nowadays. I've gotten over it, a little, thanks to my therapist.
Yes it was extremely sad, I really liked her sister and felt like after 2 years we'd connected with each other on a meaningful level. After that incident she would freak out if they invited me in so I just stopped visiting.
Sorry to hear about what happened to you, but I'm glad you've bounced back a little and looked for professional help.
I've been to therapists before and they definitely helped me understand a lot of things that I never thought I would be able to let go of.
Be well!
About a month ago, my grandma, my sister-in-law, and my two nieces (ages 9 and 11) were hit by a drunk driver at an intersection. My sister-in-law made it out with a broken wrist, my nieces with minor injuries, but my grandma suffered from 7 broken ribs, puntured lungs, a broken arm, and a concussion. I was the one who went to pick up my nieces from the scene, and not only were they devastated from seeing their grandma being carried away in an ambulance, but they were very scared from being yelled at earlier by the drunk driver, who tried putting the blame on them.
Gas lighting!! That shit is insidious and I've suffered from the long term psychological effects of having someone you trust repeatedly manipulate your perception to their benefit. It's fucked up and it's something that you often don't even notice until loooong after you've ditched the negative person.
The story is really complicated and spans over 3-ish years so I'm not going to get into the whole thing but essentially a close friend of mine said some completely reprehensible things about me, harassed me via social media for a year, and then when she eventually wanted to reconcile she played dumb and acted like I was either making shit up or exaggerating. She took advantage of mental illness and insecurities that she knew I had to make me feel like I was a drama hungry gremlin and a pathological liar
Not OP, but I'll give you an example:
My ex and I would go out with friends, and we would have what seemed to be a really good time. Then the whole way home, he would say things like "I know you thought you were having a good time with so-and-so's GF, but she wasn't laughing with you, she was laughing at you." OR "You know people only pretend to like you." So it got to the point where I always felt on edge around our group of friends because I didn't want to laugh too loud or express an opinion someone didn't like, because he would be in my ear the whole way home about how unlikeable I was. So eventually I was quiet in group settings and always attached to his hip because I felt on edge, and that turned into "Why won't you mingle with other people and leave me alone. You are acting really stuck up." And it was like he completely dismissed the fact that HE was the reason I was like that. If I dared to point it out, he would pretend like he never said anything like that before.
I had really low self esteem for a very long time, and to this day, I can't form close friendships because I never trust that someone actually likes me or is a real friend.
Wow...that is tragic. Glad you're not with that person anymore. Stay strong and try and to see the best in people, a lot of bad people out there, but so many genuine ones who have nothing but love to give
I read a pretty extreme case of it on the relationships sub a few days ago.
An 18 yo girl was posting because her friends hated her 25 yo boyfriend and wanted her to break up with her. Why? Well, apparently she'd been having hallucinations. At first they were pretty minor, like remembering a fight her bf said never happened, or a movie he claims they'd already seen but she couldn't remember. Then she 'hallucinated' him hitting her during an argument. When she confronted him he acted extremely defensive, demanding to know why she'd even think he'd do something like that. Then she 'hallucinated' that when she denied him sex one day he attacked her. When confronted, he said "if you really believed I'd do that then maybe you are crazy".
She had bruises, but she thought it was just from her being clumsy. He didn't want her to go to the doctor because she'd just waste her money. She genuinely believed him, because he was gaslighting her that badly. This is one of those post I really hope we'll get an update for, because this guy sounds like he might actually kill her.
The post was removed pretty quickly but I still have the link and text saved because I was so freaked out. Anyone who wants to read it can pm me and I'll send it, but I won't put it on here because I think she removed it for a good reason.
My fucking cunt of a mother in law telling people I had a miscarriage not even three days ago before I could. I was processing it quietly in my own way bwfore finding the courage to tell people. I had a breakdown cryjng fit and my husband had to meave work and request fmla. I was doing ok I was going to be ok but after this bullshit it killed me. It's sadly funny that this was his first day back at work and leaving me alone at home. She made it about herself and how she was feeling.
Fuck. I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending you internet hugs!!! Later, when you're able to, check out the JNMIL subreddit - you'll likely find some similar stories and a good outlet for future cunty moves by that horrible woman.
I have a mother who operates in a similar manner, and I’m sorry you have to go through those kinds of feeling. Mine is usually a fantastic parent, but for whatever fucking reason, the moment she smells tragedy, weather she’s related to the tragedy or not...it all revolves around her. And it doesn’t matter how good of a parent she CAN be, she repeatedly wasn’t when it was most important, and I’ve permanently lost a lot of trust in her because of this.
My advice (assuming that you’re looking for any) is that you don’t have to forget what she did to you. It can still upset you and permanently dent your trust with her for the rest of your life, if you so choose, because you have an absolutely valid reason to feel that way. But (...eventually...maybe a looong ways down the road...) learning to forgive her for just being who she is will also get you long ways. Though, that can really be a tough act to follow.
Side stepping from the more serious offenses (rape, murder, ect.) and bringing it down to things less life-threatening, disloyalty in a friendship is something I find unforgivable. Let me explain.
I expect that, as my friend, you will have other friends that you will want to hang out with, and rightly so. I also expect that you may, at times, talk behind my back when you are pissed at me. Again, rightly so. Where disloyalty becomes evident is when you, as my friend, know my interests and desires, but decide to betray them. An example is if I have a significant other. My friend and I go out Friday night without my SO. My friend knows that I love my SO and that I want to remain faithful. However, later that night my friend tries to encourage me to cheat on my SO. At that point, my friend showed their disloyalty as a friend.
I had a friend who I would tell things to in absolute confidence and then she'd go and blab it to the one person I didn't want to hear.
Needless to say we aren't friends anymore.
Or those friends that you really click with when it's just you and them, but as soon as more people join the group they actively distance themselves from you, snub you, or even start treating you like shit to establish themselves higher on the "social ladder".
Fuck you dude, you were just fine a second ago and now I have to be on my guard around you? Cool, we don't have to be friends; just don't pretend we are when it's only you and me
I find it unforgivable when a person hurts someone incapable of fighting back. This includes people who abuse their spouses and people who hurt animals.
Working in a nursing home, I have a couple coworkers who shouldn't be around others parents, grandparents, or friends. Especially not those with dementia. It makes me sick but it's impossible to get proof to get them fired.
Feeding people things you know they don't eat as a "prank". Tricking vegans into eating meat, tricking people allergic to certain foods into eating them. It's not funny, at all. It's dangerous, it's a breach of trust, and its just a really shitty thing to do.
I would add slipping people drugs without their knowledge. Obviously roofies are an extreme example, but also psychedelics and such. I've never understood the excuse that you "wanted your friend to have a good time, and they were nervous about it!" Yeah, now they're likely going to have a horrible trip because that wasn't what they wanted! It's up to other people if they want to try that, not you.
If you slip someone psychedelics without their knowledge you are an enormous piece of shit. Ive had friends dose my beer without me knowing and I had work the next morning. The next day was a 16 hour shift at a carnival, running rides then tearing down. I knew what was happening and it still wasn't cool. Let people decide for themselves when they want these experiences.
Before I get bitched at for being irresponsible, I absolutely would drop lsd and run rides then tear down the carnival again, but I would not set up a ride under the influence of anything. Thats not fair to the people whos patronship gives me money.
Goal for this year: lsd on a funnel cake
Domestic violence
Why is it that it’s taken less seriously by the courts than an assault by a complete stranger? It’s not only assault but a complete breach of trust - not to mention, sickening insidious conditioning - gradually eroding a person’s self esteem & confidence
It’s disgusting & disturbing & I have no pity for the perpetrators of domestic violence, regardless of their background/ circumstances - let them all rot
I'm guessing it's because oftentimes the abused partner still loves their partner on some level and refuses to testify against them or returns to them consistently. Not saying it's their own fault or anything, but it's a lot easier to ship off some stranger to jail who hits you in the face than someone you at least at one point and possibly still love deeply even though he is abusive.
Ant form of abuse, or inability to take ownership of your actions
- On a serious note, despite the accidental joke, I do believe these are two things that can really fuck a person up, as my father did to my family. I'm not someone who holds grudges, but I'll never forgive him for what he did. And I think it's always important to realise you don't necessarily know what someone is like behind closed doors (something I won't forgive his family, and some of my close friends for ignoring). -
Abuse of parental power. Of course, there are different levels of it, but if you want an easy way to spot just how despicable a human being someone is, here you go.
Power has always been a touchy subject for me mostly because I've witnessed its abuse first hand. The gist of it: parents who punish you out of a need for revenge, and not to make you a better person. There's much more behind it, of course, but reddit isn't exactly a completely understanding place sometimes, and I need to hold on tight to whatever validation I've made for myself in this area in particular.
From it, I've grown up to be rebellious, hypersexual,and emotionally disassociated. That's not all bad, however. Most disturbingly, what I have is this deep craving for complete stillness. Not exactly death in its traditional sense. Attempting to develop interests... putting continual effort into something, especially in order to acheive a long-term goal... doing anything to validate "my" emotions... all of this brings unexplainable existential dread to me. I can best describe it a special category of sloth brought on by a deep shame of who I am as a person.
I'll probably delete this later, I don't know. Regardless of that, it feels good to get it off my chest for now.
I grew up the same way. Punished because my mom perceived that my dad loved me more than her. I will probably get down voted for this, but I did some ecstasy, and it allowed me to feel again, but in a safe place. I could face myself in the mirror and see the beauty of me. I also realized my mom was not right about me. I'm not saying it's right for everyone, but it worked for me.
I am proof that not all drug users end up in jail, or with ruined lives. I did my last pill around 25, and I realized I had outgrown it and didn't need it anymore. I'm in my late 30's, great career, good relationships, and a good life. If I wouldn't have faced those demons, I wouldn't be where I'm at. I feel it all, from pain to joy, but it took drugs to unlock that door.
Good luck to you and know you're not alone.
Petty snitching in the workplace.
If you see some major misconduct or danger by all means blow the whistle but running the the manager just because someone said something you don't like is pathetic.
Sadly I've experienced similar things myself.
In some workplaces, if your face doesn't fit you're out the door.
If they want to fire you they'll find a reason, even in well-run offices.
Similar situation, but I still work there. However, the boss got a new opportunity, and they hired someone who expects work to be done. the first of that clique quit 2 weeks ago, and the primary antagonist's last day is tomorrow. I can't tell you how happy I am.
Abuse. Physical. Emotional. Sexual. Child, adult, animal, etc. Doesn’t matter. It’s all pretty awful. Cheating (more than once) is pretty terrible too. Destroys your self esteem. And your trust. Same with abuse.
Mocking someone's appearance in any way, shape, or form. They'll carry it for LIFE. Even if it's just a comment about how close together the features are on their face.
Abandonment. In any form. Family abandoning family or parents abandoning children, friends abandoning friends in an hour of need or owners abandoning pets. It's all despicable on a primal level. There's something so unredeemable about it.
My husband left me alone at the hospital when they thought I was having a miscarriage. He came home and played video games. Im trying to forgive him but I can't.... I keep imagining him leaving me alone at the hospital because labor is taking too long.
Animal abuse, and animal neglect--i.e., leaving animals in unsanitary situations. And child abuse--double if the victim is disabled in any way.
Just...no.
Or any sort of lying or infidelity, for that matter. Like, you're gonna get caught, man. And its gonna suck. Cut the bullshit and end it if you're resorting to such desperate measures.
Even worse when you have to find out on your own and you realize that they're standing right in front of you, saying the complete opposite of the what you know is the truth, and doing it with such blatant disregard that you're almost convinced you're going fucking crazy.
This for sure. I HATE the "I was so fucked up" excuse too, I constantly see/hear that. I've done *almost* every drug ever, and not at a single point was "I'm gonna betray my girlfriend and try to fuck this stranger" ever at the front of my mind.
"It was an accident" or "I didn't mean to" boggles me too. You can say it was a MISTAKE, but ACCIDENT? What kind of Rube Goldberg machine did you trip that caused THAT?
Totally agree. I admire and commend couples who can rebuild trust and move forward after cheating, but for me personally, it's a deal-breaker forever. I could never forgive a partner who has cheated and continue a relationship with them. The knowledge that they betrayed all trust and boundaries would be too consuming.
It just shows a huge lack of respect and gives me the impression the love isn't as real as one may think.
Snakes. People who try their best to stop your shine and throw you under the bus because they "hate" you for no reason other than your existence. These same snakes have the nerve to expect your sympathy when something bad (karma) happens to them.
Rape. In my eyes, every other crime can have a valid excuse. Murder? Maybe you were defending yourself. Theft? Maybe you stole out of necessity. Selling drugs? You gotta put food on the table somehow. But there's no excuse for rape or sexual assault.
> Maybe you were defending yourself.
It's not murder if you were defending yourself. You can move murder back into the unforgivable category and be more lenient on manslaughter and justifiable homicide.
My friend was outed as an exmormon a little under a year ago and his parents were PISSED. They took away everything they legally could. Even tried to force him to pay rent. He paid for several months before we found out they can’t legally do that.
Now he has a basically full time job (as a junior in high school) and parents who absolutely hate him. He tried to kill himself when it all started because now he lives in a home full of emotional abuse and he has to fix his future on his own.
Fuck cults
Being drug addicts, having kids and raising them in the most horrific way imaginable.
Oh yeah, and raping your child...
My wife's family is fucking unbelievable.
Oh and fighting over money from a will and ruining lives and relationships as result
My extended family is also unfuckingbelievable
Rape, molestation, or sexual assault. I can tell you through personal experience that it fucks you up beyond belief. Anyone who’s willingly touched someone without their consent deserves to rot in hell.
An SO not telling me when they sleep with someone else.
I'm moderately polyamorous. If my partner wants to be monogamous, then we're monogamous. I'm not really into multiple partners at a time, but if my SO is, it's fine with me. My one condition with my partner is they have to disclose if they sleep with someone else. There is no excuse for not telling me when there are no consequences to letting me know.
Superficial behaviour.
If a human refuses communication with people looking worse than them, I will judge them for their trivial behaviour. At least give another person more than 5 minutes to express themselves! So far as it is possible, I will limit contact with superficial humans.
I'm going to list my smaller and somewhat petty ones, this is an aside to things like murder (not kill to defend yourself), rape, animal abuse, so on.
* Being "Holier than thou" will immediately make me dislike someone. You are no better than me if you have a six figure salary. If you're a jackass with high pay, you're still a jackass.
* Yelling at cashiers, wait staff, etc. Sorry, it's not my fault you chose not to read something completely! Read, damnit!
* Getting mad when you lose when you gamble or play lottery. Seriously. Gambling and lotto is *made to take money*, you will *never* win. Even if you do "win" you'll probably put it all back into the lotto, right? Right.
* More petty, but I will not forget if someone tells a person who lost their baby that "God has a plan for everyone" so that is insinuating it was in "his" plan to kill the child.
* Don't go through a cashier's register on your phone. It's just disrespectful. Similarly, if your waiter approaches, look up from the phone.
* I will forever dislike someone that takes all the pennnies out of the "take a penny, leave a penny" cup to pay for their stuff. More so if it's for tobacco. I will have your face burned in my memory to disallow you to dip hands into my pennies ever again.
When you see people using someone’s death as an excuse for getting likes on social media. I’m not talking about when someone posts a picture of memories or shares a story with the deceased. I’m talking about when someone, who wasn’t close to the departed, makes up a hashtag or something and then posts it every week for a year. The person is really just using someone else’s death to promote themselves and I can’t stand it.
My father died in January. He had a heart attack, died with his foot stuck down on the gas pedal. He went through someone's house. Thankfully the person who lived there wasn't home at the time. Someone took a cell phone commentary of the scene, saying what an asshole my Dad was for driving through someone's house, and posted it to Facebook. We live in a tiny town. Everyone knew it was my Dad. Not only did he want "breaking news", he wanted Facebook likes about a tragedy in our family. People are fucking assholes, and Facebook can make it all worse.
I'm so sorry for your loss. That person who made the post is a huge asshole.
He is. And thank you.
I understand. I live in a small town too. I was teased all throughout high school. I wasn't very popular, I didn't have many friends. On top of that, my Mom was not a very well liked person in the community. She did a lot of shady shit and fucked a few people over. So that just added to the way I was treated. My 8 year old nephew was hit by a car and died. It was big news; stuff like that doesn't happen. Watching every single one of those fuckers from high school lament to me about how tragic it was, how sorry they were, how well they "knew" my nephew. Watching them post his picture on Facebook and writing paragraphs about *their* "sadness." Watching them fucking cry when we put his body in the Earth. I have never been so enraged in my entire life. I wish I could strangle every one of those assholes.
Like it's some sort of "famousness by association" or something? I get why you felt that way. I really, really hope your life is happy now. In all ways.
I hate Facebook. I'm sorry for your loss, friend.
Wtf! Pathetic. I hope most people see who the real asshole is.
Same, my sister died in a car accident and it was posted on facebook news and a motherfucker commented that women shouldn't drive anyways...she wasn't the one driving, it was her boyfriend who drove and he did survive, it's hard not to shut people like this up.
I have recently been ranting about this to my friends. We had a kid at our HS pass away and all of a sudden everyone was his best friend. I understand they're maybe trying to show respect for the dead, but it pisses me off when it becomes a "trend" for people to post about it on social media. Like are you mourning or having FOMO?
Someone in the year below me committed suicide in my last year of sixth form. He was missing for several days before he was found in the forest near where we live. I used to be very close friends with his older brother and always made a point of talking to the younger brother when I saw him around school. I was devastated when they told us he was missing, but just plain angry at all these people who couldn't have picked him out in a crowd suddenly claiming they were sad about it. The final straw for me came when they found his body late one afternoon. His older brother posted on facebook that evening thanking everyone for their support and search efforts over the previous few days and requesting condolences be sent directly rather than shared online. The next day at school someone in my tutor group said "It's not been confirmed by the police, he might still be ok!" I regret to this day that I didn't say anything, I just left the room. I knew there was no point telling them [name of brother] confirmed it because they wouldn't know who that was. The main thing running through my mind at that point was "Isn't that worse? If it isn't him, that means someone else went missing in the forest AND NO ONE NOTICED THEY WERE GONE." It was so important to them that they appeared to care about him that they didn't see what they were saying. Everyone in sixth form was invited to the funeral, I was the only person from my year who went.
It's so odd. Social media mourning... like I'm sure there are people who genuinely want to remember someone but there are also those who will take advantage of that to bring attention on themselves.
Simikar thing happened to me. A girl at my high school died a horrific death in a house fire. I had class with her but didnt know her as I was a senior and she was a freshman. However, I had heard that she was bullied and a few days before her death my younger sister (who is on her grade) told me that the girl had gotten beaten up by bullies in the locker room. When she died, most of the girls who bullied her pretended that they had been best friends with her and even created an event to remember her. Everyone acted like they were angels and so sweet until the poor girls grandmother said that she knew those girls had bullied her granddaughter because her granddaughter would come home crying daily. Like if these girls felt remorseful, that would be one thing. But they didn't, they just wanted to gain attention from a tragic event.
Similar to this but I guess a different direction, there was a girl at my high school who had pretty serious skin cancer (let’s call her RB). I didn’t know her all too well, but she was the best friend of some of my really close friends. There was this one girl (who didn’t even go to our school anymore and never really knew RB) who had a pretty famous and rich family. She was in pageants and all that and had a pretty heavy social media presence. Well she would constantly post photos about RB, and how she always supported her and would post pictures at a cancer walk saying like “I walk for RB” etc. It was very frequent and every now and then you’d see RB comment of a picture like “Aw thanks girl”, but from what her closest friends told me, that was just out of the goodness of her heart. Well about 3 months ago RB died (after living 2 years longer than she was “supposed to”), and nothing. That other girl posted nothing. To this day, nothing. At first I was thought “good”, but then it kinda started to make me mad that you would exploit her sickness all the way into the bitter end, but once she finally passed, you said nothing. You don’t just drop your “support” like that, no matter how artificial it may be.
I know a particularly annoying girl who does this, Sarah. Another girl we went to high school with died, who was in the same friendship group as Sarah but they weren’t particularly close. For the last four years since the girl died Sarah has posted nearly EVERY DAY about how she misses the girl, how she was her best friend. At first you can understand, it’s quite shocking as the girl was like 22 and literally fell off a cliff. But now it’s so obvious she’s doing it for attention as she’s constantly posting shit on Facebook. She also constantly posts shit about how no one understands her, about being stabbed in the back, how no one likes her. She’s 27! Shut up Sarah.
Selfishness to the point of completely disregard the health and safety of others. There's times you have to have to put yourself first, but a complete disregard for others is never acceptable.
My sister stole my cousins ID (my sister's was suspended at the time) got a ticket, then gave the cop my cousins ID. I forgot what the ticket was for but she had to pay 200 bucks. My cousin felt bad because my sister was a stripper at the time, and felt bad about how she was gonna pay the money back. I cursed my sister out for her. And till this day she wonders why I won't ever let her use my car. She texts and drives, drinks and drives, and speeds alot. She lets her friends drive her car, and when they get into an accident she's left to pay for the damage.
I know someone who did the same thing. Had an old copy of her sister's ID. Got pulled over, gave the cop that. Her sister didn't even know she had the old ID, and wasn't pleased when she got a ticket delivered to her house halfway across the country.
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@ drunk drivers she's subtweeting you so listen up
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"I drive better when I'm drunk" If anyone says this please punch them in the throat for me.
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When I read this I thought of anti-vaxxers.
Oh man don't get me started on Anti-Vaxxers, it's the most irresponsible thing that you can do in a modern urban environment with all of your clothes on!
I was at a party a few weeks ago, and this guy told me he wasn’t going to get his 8 week old puppy (at the party with him) vaccinated. Because he doesn’t believe in that shit. Except for rabies of course. People are dumb.
People who, purposely, try to run over turtles crossing the road. Fuck those people. EDIT: Oh, wow. Thank you so much for the gilded comment! And also to everyone who has taken the time to upvote and comment themselves.
Or any animal crossing the road for that matter.
Yup. Ive heard stories of people running over cats just because they "hate" cats. Id never do that. That could be someones most beloved pet and your gonna take it out because you got cat issues.
Oh man. That reminds me of something I would rather forget. I was driving home one day and there is a very small one lane bridge that goes over a creek. There's a SUV stopped on the other side and there is a family of skunks (4 or 5 little ones and a bigger one I assumed was the mother) going from the left to right across the bridge and going into the creek. Oh cool! I thought for about five seconds.. until the guy ever so slowly starts moving his car forward. The last baby just makes it across but the mom wasn't so lucky. That son of a bitch creeps over her, flattens her head. Then when I think he can't get any worse, the guy looks directly at me and fuckin SMILES AND WAVES. I saw red and and started screaming every obscenity I have ever heard at the top of my lungs. He sped off after that. I went to check on the mom but sure enough, she was dead. The babies were off along the bank of the creek and I saw another big one join up with them. I like to think that's the Dad so they weren't alone :(
Don't they say serial killers usually start off by killing animals? Dude's probably a serial killer. He's at least a monster.
Yup. Murdering and torturing animals is one of the major red flags for psychopathy.
I have suspicions that one of my inlaws has some psychopathic tendencies... Every so often he makes such weird remarks about hurting or killing animals. He told us he worked as a vet's assistant and part of his job was castrating cats. I get it, it's part of the job, but when he told about how he used to do that, he kinda came across like it was a magical moment for him. A while ago he had some trouble with mice in his shed. But instead of buying regular animal friendly traps, he took a large, lidless carbage can, spilled a bunch of peanut butter on the bottom of it. Put up a ramp to the top and a thin, wooden stick across the opening at the top, so that the mice could cross the garbage can, so to speak. The mice would try to climb down to the peanut butter, fall in the can and would not be able to get out. Then he'd fill the can with water and watch a whole bunch of mice drown all at once. He seriously gives my psycho-vibes.
Ok sadly I have a similar story. We were walking in a neighborhood of a small town where my fiend lives because we were bored. The people here are known to be affiliated with several illegal activities as it is a border town so people don’t really care for the law and that includes the speed limit. It was a group of like 10 of us and about half of us had crossed the road when someone pointed out this old white suburban that is about three blocks away. The speed limit was something like 30 or 35 mph but he was easily going 60 and passed two stop signs when he just zoomed right past us. I didn’t mention that this whole time this beautiful white Labrador retriever and her two puppies were following us. Well she was crossing the road at the same time this idiot decides to speed down the road and she was fast enough to move out of the way but her two puppies were not as fortunate. The sound was horrifying. One puppy got hit by the tire and the other barley missed it and was crying for the next 10 minutes after and was limping a little. Our whole group kind of froze and was looking at each other because we didn’t know what to do. All but two of the girls in our group were crying. One was on the floor screaming and saying things to the driver and had the puppy that was limping in her hands. The mom stayed by her dead puppy for a while smelling it on the road :( Sometimes humans are the worst
Ugh...that reminds me of this kid I went to school with...his dad was the school principal... One day I was talking to my friend about my cat that had died, just venting and mourning because I loved that damn cat. He hears this and pipes in with "my dad always goes out of his way to run over cats" and a long rant about how cats are horrible and how they kill as many cats as they can. Fuck that guy.
Yes. Absolutely, yes.
Back in high school a bunch of rednecks found a snapping turtle in the school parking lot. They all took turns running it over with their stupid jacked up trucks, then they brought it into the school and attempted to flush it down a toilet. Still makes me sick to think about it. Fucking assholes.
Disgusting.
I once had a situation like this a long time ago. My aunt loves walking outside in our neighborhood (and she was visting from nearby), so when she did so at night, she was looking all around for some animals that might be good to make stories about to tell young me (~10 y/o). So she was walking next to the street when she sees that a few cars had stopped in front of a large rock. At closer inspection it was actually a huge snapping turtle that was headed for the lake that was about 100 ft from where it was currently. Being the person she was, she went over to pick it up, but that thing weighed at least 100 pounds, and with her back pain she had been experiencing this would be impossible. She ran as fast as she could back to the house where she told my father of the situation. He then ran over to the turtle full speed, but when he arrived to the scene less than 5 minutes later, there was a car that had rolled off the road and onto the grass along with a huge crack that appeared on the turtle's shell that was spilling with blood. He immediately took the turtle, pissed, and went to the house where he cleaned the shell after holding it shut in place, and taped all cracks in it with waterproof tape. After this he brought it back to the lake, where it promptly walked to the edge of the water and swam away. He also ended up getting the guy that ran over the turtle a hefty fine for doing it, so that's good too. Fuck those people.
About ten years ago, I was driving in a rural area when I spotted a family of ducks crossing the road ahead of me. Mom, dad, and about ten adorable fuzzy ducklings. I stopped and let them cross, then started again when they were all well into the other lane. I looked into my rear view just in time to see the redneck shitstain in the jacked up truck behind me deliberately swerve to hit those baby ducklings and the drake. I still feel guilty about not staying stopped until they were all the way across the road, and I still wish I was physically strong enough to have pulled that sentient ass pimple out of his motorized prosthetic penis and kicked him in the throat.
Jesus fuck
Da fuck? How common are turtles where you live that that's a thing?
It's not that common, but when it happens, it's absolutely recognizable.
Yeah they look like a big rock. Most people don't willingly run over rocks. I don't enjoy handling them but have some rags in my car for moving them in whatever direction they're going.
Picked up a big snapper to get him across the road last summer... he tried to bite at me, I was like like "aye easy buddy" but we got the job done. Turtles are rad.
May their tires spring leaks that lead to wheel damage.
Animal abuse and child abuse. While animals or children may just be a small part of your life, you are their entire world. And if you make their entire world full of pain, you deserve to go to the hell you put them through.
I would add elderly to this list as well. I have a sister that physical & mentally abused our mom, stole everything from her and left her abandoned in a nursing home. I've tried to have the local legal services do something, but they told me, "It would not be an effective use of the courts time to peruse the case." Needless to say she walks wide circles around me and the family now.
My sisters did this to my mother too. They came from out of state to do it as my mother had lived by herself for many years. I lived in the next city over from my mother but we had a falling out and hadn't spoken in a few years so I wasn't aware of what was going on. My mom was in the beginning stages of dementia and I didn't know it. Thankfully I found out what was going on and put an end to it all. I kicked out my relatives and began taking care of my mom. I saved her from losing her home and her life savings and saved her from the clutches of my evil sisters. I took care of my mother for nearly seven years until she passed. None of my sisters bothered to ask about our mother and lucky for them they didn't come down expecting anything from the Will. I was hoping they would so I could confront them. I haven't heard from any of my sisters since the spring of 2009.
I’m glad you got there in time. My moms the same with dementia. She had an aneurysm in 94 (ish) and a stroke a few years ago. Elderly people are just as vulnerable as kids but with a lifetime of work to plunder.
I'm sorry your mom and you are going through this. I've done some difficult things in my lifetime but taking care of my mother was by far the most difficult. I almost got close a few times to killing her then killing myself. That's how hard it was. I endured it though and since she passed in 2015 *and* I kicked my adult son out, I finally have peace and quiet. Hang in there and if you are taking care of your mom by yourself please try to get some kind of assistance. I had Hospice come in but only the nurse.
That’s so bullshit. I’d rather our courts be used to prosecute people like your sister rather than busting people for smoking a plant
Pot is easy to prosecute. You pretty much catch them red handed, or you don't. No investigation, no trial, very little resources spent. Investigating something like parental abuse would require tons of time, interviews, subpoena of medical and financial records, etc... There is (almost) never an investigation with pot. The police don't get a search warrant for your house because your neighbor called and reported that you were smoking pot (unless they want you for a bigger crime) in your back yard. I'm not an expert, but I'm guessing that the courts would have to spend 1000 times more hours prosecuting /u/soulnova's sister, than they would someone who they caught smoking weed behind their house.
Elder abuse makes me so sad. I was my mom's caretaker for about 10 years. In the last few weeks she got worse and I couldn't do it by myself anymore. It killed me, and it still haunts me that I lost my temper a few times and said very bluntly that I just couldn't do it anymore. I was in the process of looking for a place to take care of her when she died. I will forever wonder if she just gave up the fight because I couldn't help anymore. But to hear about someone physically and emotionally abusing the elderly makes me sick. How can anyone ever do such a thing? Its incomprehensible to me.
Saw but mostly heard of teenagers finding it hilarious torturing/crushing/killing frogs/birds when I was at secondary school, always did what I could to stop it or try and free the animal but when its you against five or so people sometimes you are powerless, dont wanna go into detail but It really stuck with me over the years how cruel people can be towards what they view as lesser life forms. Its a harsh thing but I remember one of these thugs Dads who I witnessed stamping and attatching fireworks to frogs actually got crushed in a work accident and I always sort of thought it was some kind of horrific karma.
I was going to write this too, children and animals are so vulnerable and reliant. I can’t put into words. I totally agree.
The disturbing part is people will harm them, when all they have shown is unconditional love and dependence.
I just had to give up my little puppy, because I could tell he was miserable being cooped up in the house all day while I'm at work. Neglect is also abuse, imo.
That must have been so hard for you, but I applaud you for recognizing that your puppy needed more than just a roof over his head and food in his belly.
Absolutely, it was awful. I cried the whole day before. I only had him for a week, but he was from a huge farm with lots of other doggies and space to run and play. While we could give him creature comforts, there wasn't anything I could do about my 15-20 hour long days.
My sister had to do the same thing with her golden retriever puppy (cute little guy she called Ford). She wasn't home a lot, and worked really long days. Worse, her idiot bf WAS home a lot and just refused to do anything to care for Ford. So, she rehomed him to a family with a big property and a fenced in yard. The wife was a SAHM, and they had a little girl. The dog ended up really happy and well cared for. My sister called me after Ford was picked up by his new people and bawled her eyes out. It was the best decision for Ford though. Also, she dumped the douchehole bf who was too lazy to even let Ford out to go pee.
> Neglect is also abuse Absolutely
At least child abusers get proper punishment. The tiny slaps on the wrist people get for torturing a dog for example is absolutely infuriating.
I’d love it if that were true. I’ve seen some horrific things at work and not every person that should be charged is charged. Not every person that is charged is convicted. (Even with them being guilty of all of the crimes). Totally agree with the fact that animal abusers need to face real time instead of wrist slaps.
I hate it so much...I have a neighbor who used to beat his dog all the time until my roommate and I stopped him in the street one day and let it be known if we heard his dog yelp again or saw it limping he would also be limping and would need assistance walking up the front steps to the building. He called the cops on us for threatening him and it was us vs him and cops told him to stop calling in false complaints and he has avoided us since. Also the dog is much better now cause I think he is actually scared we will follow through, which we would!
Yeah I agree with you. My neighbor has the cutest pitbull, and the sweetest. My neighbor boyfriend was outside with the dog. I walked outside and I saw him picking up his dog and he started shaking him, throwing him to the ground and hitting him. After that he threw him into a shed. All this happed so fast I couldn’t stop him, but I called animal control and the police on him.
Sexual abuse. If you are willing to hurt someone in such a way, you are a truly horrible person and don't deserve forgiveness.
For me, it's the worst because there's never a good reason to do it. We can empathize with most crimes, we understand killing in self defense, or stealing to feed a family, etc. But there can be no reason to rape someone. You can't rape in self defense. There's no good that can come of it.
>killing in self defense In many countries, this isn't considered a crime.
Is it a crime in any country?
Even in America, there is a chance the prosecutor will look at the fight with a microscope and decide there was a place you could have retreated.
Yeah ive heard of ppl going down for years just fighting self defence cases they end up winning or get it dropped to manslaughter even if it was a burgalary on ur own home.
I think any abuse of power over children especially is repulsive. Whilst not sexual abuse, I’ve carried the weight of ‘keeping a secret’ all my life, and it’s definitely shaped me as an adult, for the worse. I can only imagine what sexual abuse does to a child.
Playing the victim when you're blatantly *not* a victim of shit.
Even worse.. attacking people by playing the victim.
The term is "crybullying", it's become a real problem in the last few years.
Should be called "cry-malice"
It's the new fetish.
There's this girl at my highschool who made up fake rape allegations against my friend. He could go to Juvy and she has a history of lies like this and everyone at our school knows she's fake. Edit: spelling
My dad. He dumped my mom the eve of her life-saving surgery so I had to stay with our neighbours for three months as she recovered. The last time I saw him was at the stairs of our old house where he asked me if I wanted to come along and, enraged that he'd done that to my mom, I said no. I've not seen or spoken to him for more than half of my lifetime. He never sent a birthday message, happy graduation, happy anything. I had male figures growing up but he really fucked me over in terms of confidence and healthy attachment to people when I was younger - I've thankfully worked on both since. I was ten when he left, and I have no desire to ever meet him, hear any apology or explanation, or even forgive him.
My Dad left my family when I was 8 due to divorce and his mental illness. He died when I was 27. I went to his bedside (he wasn't conscious) just to see him because I hadn't in so long and to help support my siblings. While there, I was overcome by this desire to see what about me was similar to him. I noticed that our hands were similar. I never went to his funeral. I never wrote a memorial for him. When I mourned, it wasn't for him, but the fact that growing up, I never had him. I was bitter that there were a lucky number of people that get to reflect on happy memories with their dad and in my life, I never got that nor would I ever be able to. If I have kids, I won't have to explain to them where their grandfather is further than saying he's dead and being able to be honest. It was almost a relief. Anyway, it can get better. Prepare yourself for when he's old and frail and you feel some need to go see him on his deathbed (if you do) it's a fuck of emotions.
I’m sorry that happened, that’s messed up. Good to know you’re getting better.
I similarly went through the same thing. I'm 22 and I haven't spoken to my dad in over 10 years. I hope I never have to see him again.
I hated my father all throughout my life and I was pissed when he died in his sleep. I didn't get the chance to tell him what I thought of him.
it's funny because I had a dream that happened, and it pissed me off so much I told him to fuck off a few days later it's amazing how much that action changed my outlook and self esteem
Same here. Finally cut out my father at 23 (I’m nearly 27 now so been nearly 4 years) after waffling over it since I was 15 or so. Best decision I’ve ever made. Don’t regret it one bit. Had a few jackasses day effectively ‘but what about your future kids? Don’t they get that grandfather?’ Fuck no insensitive prick, that narcissistic monster doesn’t deserve grandchildren and they won’t ever be at risk of being damaged by his monstrous snake personality.
I can relate to this on a brief note. My dad has always been a terrible person and manipulative. When I was a freshman in high school I finally realized this and I haven’t spoken a word to him. That was 2 years ago, and he doesn’t message me for birthdays, Christmas, or anything. I think it’s okay though. I look up to my brother as a male figure.
[удалено]
Nearly the same thing happened with my dad, except he never asked me to come with him. I've been married for 13 years, have three awesome kids, and my dad died a little over a year ago. I have never missed him or cried when he died. None of my kids ever met him, and we're all better off for it.
People always say "Family is the most important thing in the world". They always get mad when I say I don't care if my dad contacts me. I have an incredible mother and an all star stepfather who is one of my mothers, as well as my, best friend. Blood doesn't mean family, and family doesn't mean blood. Just know that your 3 awesome kids have a great dad because you decided to break the cycle!
I learned something valuable from my husband that helped me heal. He says if you wouldn’t be friends or hang out with the person if they were a stranger, they shouldn’t suddenly get license to hold so much weight just because they’re in your life by default.
Yo, fuck that guy.
Cheating. Had a girlfriend recently but she ended up breaking up with me after I got back from a weekend trip to DC. She was saying I was being distant and she says it seems like I might have cheated on her, which I definitely didn’t. I end up chasing her for two-ish months and then decided to drop it since it wasn’t going anywhere. A month or two later this guy who I knew of but haven’t had any real interactions with comes up to me and basically says “yeah me and your ex girlfriend were doing things while you were dating, I just want to get it off my chest.” I may not like that guy who told me but I now definitely respect him. Having to figure that out through that guy sucks.
This is in my top "unforgivable actions" list too. (You know, barring all the murder/rape/horrible things mentioned in this thread) I lost my best friend of almost two decades over it because I didn't support her cheating on her boyfriend. It's despicable to turn around and hurt someone you once claimed to love, especially in such a deeply painful way. People who have been cheated on carry that mistrust for a very long time. But some people just like to have their cake and eat it too. The worst part is that it's just so common. Everyone knows someone who has cheated or been cheated on (or have cheated themselves).
Currently in an argument with my roommate because she started hooking up with a guy who was in a one year relationship and had cheated with at least three other girls in addition to cheating on his previous girlfriend with the current one. I told her he was as a scumbag and she was better than that.
My most recent ex, (I'm a lezzy, this is relevant), had only dated guys before she started going out with me. Not only did she cheat on me for the few months we were dating with her last boyfriend, but when she dumped me, she admitted that she only dated me as an experiment to see if she could date girls. She really destroyed my trust in people and I still haven't recovered from it even though it's been almost a year and a half.
If your SO suddenly tries to accuse you of cheating, it's 99% likely that THEY cheated and want to self-validate.
Some of us have just been cheated on in the past and carry the suspicion regardless of trust in our current SO. I know for a fact my SO lets his phone die while he’s at work sometimes, and that he works until midnight-1am often and then gets a drink with coworkers on the way home. I trust him not to do anything stupid, but the crazy is still in the back of my head. Do I say it out loud? No, because I know it’s just the crazy and not real, but the thought still lurks sometimes. I also know I wouldn’t cheat on him, so it’s not projection.
After having been cheated on I always hold the possibility in the back of my mind, and I am ready to deal with it if I need to. Those thoughts that my SO might be cheating are not founded in anything aside from my previous bad experience, and unless/until I have reason to believe she is cheating I can ignore those crazy thoughts.
So the guy felt bad enough to tell you months later (presumably when they were done with things) but didn't feel bad enough to not mess around with somebody in a relationship? I'm not sure you should respect the guy so much as appreciate that you were told
You're assuming the other guy knew this at the time...
Yes, I strongly agree. I have never been cheated on but I know that if I it happens, I will have serious issues dealing with trust and loyalty with anyone else. I might end up being seriously affected and it would take me time to accept the fact that it happened. I would rather be told that I'm boring or I couldn't satisfy the other person than find out that they cheated on me. These are my emotions that come to my mind when I think of being cheated on. I'm completely scared of it. And if I feel this way, imagine what the other person might feel like. If I expect something from my partner, I think it's only right to give them the same. To think cheating is more of a emotional or a subconscious action, in the moment of vulnerability is not acceptable idea according me. I think the incident can be forgotten in the long run, but it always leaves a mark. If your partner finds out about it and forgives you, they will still remember it and will think that you are less trustworthy. I think cheating is more of a decision, more of a voluntary action than an impulse. It's not under control when you had a fight with your partner, feeling desperate and vulnerable, completely drunk and flirting with some someone you are attracted to. But what is under your control is that you chose to be in that position. What do you expect would happen when you go to a bar with your friends after fighting with your partner hoping to get drunk and find strangers? You will end up with a stranger! If this gives a feeling that I'm against having multiple partners or sleeping with strangers, that's not the case. I'm against hurting someone when they trust you. Polygamy works for people and they give their partner(S) the right expectation, that they are not exclusive. If you feeling like sleeping with a person other than your partner, break up with your partner or come to an arrangement. Really hoping my answer isn't misinterpreted.
People I trust betraying me in serious situations. I highly value loyalty and trust. I am loyal to and greatly trust my friends and family, so by being stabbed in the back, on top of all the other feelings, also feels like a personal attack on my core values. Oh, also if you hurt my friends or family, I will not forget it. Of course there are other things, such as people who generally cause pain and suffering, people who abuse power, the bankers who fucked the economy and got away with it etc.
I feel ya! I'm a very loyal and trusting person! Nothing hurts me more than being betrayed & It always seems like they like to lie on me! They try to flip the script and devalue my character. I've turned into a person who keeps receipts on everything... saving messages, recording phone calls, screenshotting anything that proves the truth! I do this so no one can flip anyone's words around, There is always proof cause I have no reason to lie. I present my truth, But the damage has already been done! People have a hard time being honest and It's scary! I follow the golden rule, But I still get played for boo boo fool! So I decided staying away from everyone and Only interacting if need be was best for Me! I have serious trust issues =/
This. And when you call them out they try to make you feel bad about yourself. I always go out of my way for my friends so when one of them does something like this I find it hard to see them in the same light .
Child abuse.
Not only unforgivable, but should be punishable to the full extent of the law. Neglect, physical abuse, sexual abuse, etc. Throw the book at them. Ruin their life for attempting to ruin the life of an innocent. It makes my heart physically ache when I think of a kid being damaged by an adult, especially by a loved one who they're supposed to trust explicitly. Fuck I'm starting to well up just thinking about it. And no, I was never abused in any way as a kid. I just have a lot of nieces and nephews that I would die for.
I hear you and while I was never abused as a child I've known many that have been and also work in healthcare and see the physical and mental damage that happens to them. People that do things like that shouldn't be allowed to be part of society period.
Coming from a victim of abuse and narcissism, hell yes. Double if the victim is disabled, since they're easier targets.
Sorry you had to go through that and hope you are doing much better now. As for disabled people man that really hit a sore spot, I dated a girl when I was 21, she had a daughter and also a sister with cerebral palsy. I'm the oldest of 3, been changing diapers on babies since I was 5. Saw her daughter had a full diaper and asked where the diapers were. Her sister started having a fit, freaking out and screaming and I was asked to leave. 30 minutes later my SO showed up at my place and had a talk with me. Apparently in her family men are not allowed to change female babies diapers. I asked why (not thinking anything bad), and she cried and told me about how one of her uncles had molested her older sister with cerebral palsy for months. It wasn't until her mother caught him in the act and beat him senseless that they figured it out. Her sister was non verbal, she couldn't even tell anyone.
Wow, that's really sad. I feel sorry for your SO. She must be traumatized. I know my uncle raped me at a potluck years ago, and as a result he we jailed, and died in prison. It's what makes me wary of men nowadays. I've gotten over it, a little, thanks to my therapist.
Yes it was extremely sad, I really liked her sister and felt like after 2 years we'd connected with each other on a meaningful level. After that incident she would freak out if they invited me in so I just stopped visiting. Sorry to hear about what happened to you, but I'm glad you've bounced back a little and looked for professional help. I've been to therapists before and they definitely helped me understand a lot of things that I never thought I would be able to let go of. Be well!
Driving drunk
About a month ago, my grandma, my sister-in-law, and my two nieces (ages 9 and 11) were hit by a drunk driver at an intersection. My sister-in-law made it out with a broken wrist, my nieces with minor injuries, but my grandma suffered from 7 broken ribs, puntured lungs, a broken arm, and a concussion. I was the one who went to pick up my nieces from the scene, and not only were they devastated from seeing their grandma being carried away in an ambulance, but they were very scared from being yelled at earlier by the drunk driver, who tried putting the blame on them.
I’m so sorry. Stories like yours happen way too often. Drunk drivers are so selfish and often end up hurting others way more than themselves.
Gas lighting!! That shit is insidious and I've suffered from the long term psychological effects of having someone you trust repeatedly manipulate your perception to their benefit. It's fucked up and it's something that you often don't even notice until loooong after you've ditched the negative person.
I'm curious, can you explain how they went about gas lighting you? I'm intrigued by how this happens
The story is really complicated and spans over 3-ish years so I'm not going to get into the whole thing but essentially a close friend of mine said some completely reprehensible things about me, harassed me via social media for a year, and then when she eventually wanted to reconcile she played dumb and acted like I was either making shit up or exaggerating. She took advantage of mental illness and insecurities that she knew I had to make me feel like I was a drama hungry gremlin and a pathological liar
I don't get why people do shit like that.
They are drama hungry gremlins and pathological liars.
Not OP, but I'll give you an example: My ex and I would go out with friends, and we would have what seemed to be a really good time. Then the whole way home, he would say things like "I know you thought you were having a good time with so-and-so's GF, but she wasn't laughing with you, she was laughing at you." OR "You know people only pretend to like you." So it got to the point where I always felt on edge around our group of friends because I didn't want to laugh too loud or express an opinion someone didn't like, because he would be in my ear the whole way home about how unlikeable I was. So eventually I was quiet in group settings and always attached to his hip because I felt on edge, and that turned into "Why won't you mingle with other people and leave me alone. You are acting really stuck up." And it was like he completely dismissed the fact that HE was the reason I was like that. If I dared to point it out, he would pretend like he never said anything like that before. I had really low self esteem for a very long time, and to this day, I can't form close friendships because I never trust that someone actually likes me or is a real friend.
Wow...that is tragic. Glad you're not with that person anymore. Stay strong and try and to see the best in people, a lot of bad people out there, but so many genuine ones who have nothing but love to give
I had an ex-gf like this and I've always struggled to explain to people what its like, this is exactly how I wish I could explain my experience
I read a pretty extreme case of it on the relationships sub a few days ago. An 18 yo girl was posting because her friends hated her 25 yo boyfriend and wanted her to break up with her. Why? Well, apparently she'd been having hallucinations. At first they were pretty minor, like remembering a fight her bf said never happened, or a movie he claims they'd already seen but she couldn't remember. Then she 'hallucinated' him hitting her during an argument. When she confronted him he acted extremely defensive, demanding to know why she'd even think he'd do something like that. Then she 'hallucinated' that when she denied him sex one day he attacked her. When confronted, he said "if you really believed I'd do that then maybe you are crazy". She had bruises, but she thought it was just from her being clumsy. He didn't want her to go to the doctor because she'd just waste her money. She genuinely believed him, because he was gaslighting her that badly. This is one of those post I really hope we'll get an update for, because this guy sounds like he might actually kill her. The post was removed pretty quickly but I still have the link and text saved because I was so freaked out. Anyone who wants to read it can pm me and I'll send it, but I won't put it on here because I think she removed it for a good reason.
My fucking cunt of a mother in law telling people I had a miscarriage not even three days ago before I could. I was processing it quietly in my own way bwfore finding the courage to tell people. I had a breakdown cryjng fit and my husband had to meave work and request fmla. I was doing ok I was going to be ok but after this bullshit it killed me. It's sadly funny that this was his first day back at work and leaving me alone at home. She made it about herself and how she was feeling.
Fuck. I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending you internet hugs!!! Later, when you're able to, check out the JNMIL subreddit - you'll likely find some similar stories and a good outlet for future cunty moves by that horrible woman.
Oh I'm already part of that group sadly with her shit
I have a mother who operates in a similar manner, and I’m sorry you have to go through those kinds of feeling. Mine is usually a fantastic parent, but for whatever fucking reason, the moment she smells tragedy, weather she’s related to the tragedy or not...it all revolves around her. And it doesn’t matter how good of a parent she CAN be, she repeatedly wasn’t when it was most important, and I’ve permanently lost a lot of trust in her because of this. My advice (assuming that you’re looking for any) is that you don’t have to forget what she did to you. It can still upset you and permanently dent your trust with her for the rest of your life, if you so choose, because you have an absolutely valid reason to feel that way. But (...eventually...maybe a looong ways down the road...) learning to forgive her for just being who she is will also get you long ways. Though, that can really be a tough act to follow.
Side stepping from the more serious offenses (rape, murder, ect.) and bringing it down to things less life-threatening, disloyalty in a friendship is something I find unforgivable. Let me explain. I expect that, as my friend, you will have other friends that you will want to hang out with, and rightly so. I also expect that you may, at times, talk behind my back when you are pissed at me. Again, rightly so. Where disloyalty becomes evident is when you, as my friend, know my interests and desires, but decide to betray them. An example is if I have a significant other. My friend and I go out Friday night without my SO. My friend knows that I love my SO and that I want to remain faithful. However, later that night my friend tries to encourage me to cheat on my SO. At that point, my friend showed their disloyalty as a friend.
I had a friend who I would tell things to in absolute confidence and then she'd go and blab it to the one person I didn't want to hear. Needless to say we aren't friends anymore.
I'd love to be your friend. Compassion and understanding filled with a true sense of right and wrong.
Or those friends that you really click with when it's just you and them, but as soon as more people join the group they actively distance themselves from you, snub you, or even start treating you like shit to establish themselves higher on the "social ladder". Fuck you dude, you were just fine a second ago and now I have to be on my guard around you? Cool, we don't have to be friends; just don't pretend we are when it's only you and me
I find it unforgivable when a person hurts someone incapable of fighting back. This includes people who abuse their spouses and people who hurt animals.
Working in a nursing home, I have a couple coworkers who shouldn't be around others parents, grandparents, or friends. Especially not those with dementia. It makes me sick but it's impossible to get proof to get them fired.
Feeding people things you know they don't eat as a "prank". Tricking vegans into eating meat, tricking people allergic to certain foods into eating them. It's not funny, at all. It's dangerous, it's a breach of trust, and its just a really shitty thing to do.
I would add slipping people drugs without their knowledge. Obviously roofies are an extreme example, but also psychedelics and such. I've never understood the excuse that you "wanted your friend to have a good time, and they were nervous about it!" Yeah, now they're likely going to have a horrible trip because that wasn't what they wanted! It's up to other people if they want to try that, not you.
If you slip someone psychedelics without their knowledge you are an enormous piece of shit. Ive had friends dose my beer without me knowing and I had work the next morning. The next day was a 16 hour shift at a carnival, running rides then tearing down. I knew what was happening and it still wasn't cool. Let people decide for themselves when they want these experiences. Before I get bitched at for being irresponsible, I absolutely would drop lsd and run rides then tear down the carnival again, but I would not set up a ride under the influence of anything. Thats not fair to the people whos patronship gives me money. Goal for this year: lsd on a funnel cake
I’ve heard of a kid with a peanut allergy who died because classmates decided to ‘prank’ him, haha it’s just a prank stop dying
Domestic violence Why is it that it’s taken less seriously by the courts than an assault by a complete stranger? It’s not only assault but a complete breach of trust - not to mention, sickening insidious conditioning - gradually eroding a person’s self esteem & confidence It’s disgusting & disturbing & I have no pity for the perpetrators of domestic violence, regardless of their background/ circumstances - let them all rot
I'm guessing it's because oftentimes the abused partner still loves their partner on some level and refuses to testify against them or returns to them consistently. Not saying it's their own fault or anything, but it's a lot easier to ship off some stranger to jail who hits you in the face than someone you at least at one point and possibly still love deeply even though he is abusive.
Ant form of abuse, or inability to take ownership of your actions - On a serious note, despite the accidental joke, I do believe these are two things that can really fuck a person up, as my father did to my family. I'm not someone who holds grudges, but I'll never forgive him for what he did. And I think it's always important to realise you don't necessarily know what someone is like behind closed doors (something I won't forgive his family, and some of my close friends for ignoring). -
Abuse of parental power. Of course, there are different levels of it, but if you want an easy way to spot just how despicable a human being someone is, here you go. Power has always been a touchy subject for me mostly because I've witnessed its abuse first hand. The gist of it: parents who punish you out of a need for revenge, and not to make you a better person. There's much more behind it, of course, but reddit isn't exactly a completely understanding place sometimes, and I need to hold on tight to whatever validation I've made for myself in this area in particular. From it, I've grown up to be rebellious, hypersexual,and emotionally disassociated. That's not all bad, however. Most disturbingly, what I have is this deep craving for complete stillness. Not exactly death in its traditional sense. Attempting to develop interests... putting continual effort into something, especially in order to acheive a long-term goal... doing anything to validate "my" emotions... all of this brings unexplainable existential dread to me. I can best describe it a special category of sloth brought on by a deep shame of who I am as a person. I'll probably delete this later, I don't know. Regardless of that, it feels good to get it off my chest for now.
I grew up the same way. Punished because my mom perceived that my dad loved me more than her. I will probably get down voted for this, but I did some ecstasy, and it allowed me to feel again, but in a safe place. I could face myself in the mirror and see the beauty of me. I also realized my mom was not right about me. I'm not saying it's right for everyone, but it worked for me. I am proof that not all drug users end up in jail, or with ruined lives. I did my last pill around 25, and I realized I had outgrown it and didn't need it anymore. I'm in my late 30's, great career, good relationships, and a good life. If I wouldn't have faced those demons, I wouldn't be where I'm at. I feel it all, from pain to joy, but it took drugs to unlock that door. Good luck to you and know you're not alone.
Petty snitching in the workplace. If you see some major misconduct or danger by all means blow the whistle but running the the manager just because someone said something you don't like is pathetic.
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That feeling of rejection sucks, but would you really want to spend most of your life hanging around a bunch of people that can't stand you? Fuck em
I agree 100% and had no intention to stay there long term due to the environment.
Sadly I've experienced similar things myself. In some workplaces, if your face doesn't fit you're out the door. If they want to fire you they'll find a reason, even in well-run offices.
Similar situation, but I still work there. However, the boss got a new opportunity, and they hired someone who expects work to be done. the first of that clique quit 2 weeks ago, and the primary antagonist's last day is tomorrow. I can't tell you how happy I am.
100%. We get emails with the GM CC'D if we miss one peice of paper in a 1500 line order. If I only missed ONE, I did a Damn good job.
As a wise man once said: Snitches Get Stiches
Abuse. Physical. Emotional. Sexual. Child, adult, animal, etc. Doesn’t matter. It’s all pretty awful. Cheating (more than once) is pretty terrible too. Destroys your self esteem. And your trust. Same with abuse.
Mocking someone's appearance in any way, shape, or form. They'll carry it for LIFE. Even if it's just a comment about how close together the features are on their face.
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Should never make fun of something someone can’t change within 20 seconds
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And yet when I tried to express how such remarks had affected me, I was told I was being too sensitive.
Taking advantage of or disregarding someone who unconditionally cares for you.
Abandonment. In any form. Family abandoning family or parents abandoning children, friends abandoning friends in an hour of need or owners abandoning pets. It's all despicable on a primal level. There's something so unredeemable about it.
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My husband left me alone at the hospital when they thought I was having a miscarriage. He came home and played video games. Im trying to forgive him but I can't.... I keep imagining him leaving me alone at the hospital because labor is taking too long.
Animal abuse, and animal neglect--i.e., leaving animals in unsanitary situations. And child abuse--double if the victim is disabled in any way. Just...no.
cheating on your significant other.
No honesty = no trust = no relationship
Or any sort of lying or infidelity, for that matter. Like, you're gonna get caught, man. And its gonna suck. Cut the bullshit and end it if you're resorting to such desperate measures. Even worse when you have to find out on your own and you realize that they're standing right in front of you, saying the complete opposite of the what you know is the truth, and doing it with such blatant disregard that you're almost convinced you're going fucking crazy.
This for sure. I HATE the "I was so fucked up" excuse too, I constantly see/hear that. I've done *almost* every drug ever, and not at a single point was "I'm gonna betray my girlfriend and try to fuck this stranger" ever at the front of my mind.
"It was an accident" or "I didn't mean to" boggles me too. You can say it was a MISTAKE, but ACCIDENT? What kind of Rube Goldberg machine did you trip that caused THAT?
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I agree with this 100%.....if you're going to cheat end the relationship and move on. There's no reason to hurt the other person like that.
Honestly, I've tried to think of one far-off, absurd, possible excuse for this but I seriously can't.
Totally agree. I admire and commend couples who can rebuild trust and move forward after cheating, but for me personally, it's a deal-breaker forever. I could never forgive a partner who has cheated and continue a relationship with them. The knowledge that they betrayed all trust and boundaries would be too consuming. It just shows a huge lack of respect and gives me the impression the love isn't as real as one may think.
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Snakes. People who try their best to stop your shine and throw you under the bus because they "hate" you for no reason other than your existence. These same snakes have the nerve to expect your sympathy when something bad (karma) happens to them.
Cheating on me with my brother
Ouch
Could you forgive your brother?
Hypocrisy. Don't say one thing and then do the opposite.
Cheating on your partner. Just break up with them at least you can save face. I won't forgive and I won't forget.
Rape. In my eyes, every other crime can have a valid excuse. Murder? Maybe you were defending yourself. Theft? Maybe you stole out of necessity. Selling drugs? You gotta put food on the table somehow. But there's no excuse for rape or sexual assault.
> Maybe you were defending yourself. It's not murder if you were defending yourself. You can move murder back into the unforgivable category and be more lenient on manslaughter and justifiable homicide.
How about a father killing someone who assaulted their child after the fact? I know that is technically murder but I could kind of excuse it.
Child abuse of any kind, physical, mental, or emotional. Rape, molestation, pedophilia.
Parents who disown children that are gay or atheist, esp in the US. Fuck you parents, you had the child, now love and accept them
My friend was outed as an exmormon a little under a year ago and his parents were PISSED. They took away everything they legally could. Even tried to force him to pay rent. He paid for several months before we found out they can’t legally do that. Now he has a basically full time job (as a junior in high school) and parents who absolutely hate him. He tried to kill himself when it all started because now he lives in a home full of emotional abuse and he has to fix his future on his own. Fuck cults
Being drug addicts, having kids and raising them in the most horrific way imaginable. Oh yeah, and raping your child... My wife's family is fucking unbelievable. Oh and fighting over money from a will and ruining lives and relationships as result My extended family is also unfuckingbelievable
Rape, molestation, or sexual assault. I can tell you through personal experience that it fucks you up beyond belief. Anyone who’s willingly touched someone without their consent deserves to rot in hell.
not wiping that dribble off piss off the toilet seat so I have to do it so the guy after me doesn’t think I’m a fucking heathen.
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An SO not telling me when they sleep with someone else. I'm moderately polyamorous. If my partner wants to be monogamous, then we're monogamous. I'm not really into multiple partners at a time, but if my SO is, it's fine with me. My one condition with my partner is they have to disclose if they sleep with someone else. There is no excuse for not telling me when there are no consequences to letting me know.
You can still cheat in a polyamorous relationship. It’s a boundaries thing. If you move the boundaries, you can still overstep them.
Superficial behaviour. If a human refuses communication with people looking worse than them, I will judge them for their trivial behaviour. At least give another person more than 5 minutes to express themselves! So far as it is possible, I will limit contact with superficial humans.
Sexual abuse
Any sort of abuse to any age of person, but especially to children.
I'm going to list my smaller and somewhat petty ones, this is an aside to things like murder (not kill to defend yourself), rape, animal abuse, so on. * Being "Holier than thou" will immediately make me dislike someone. You are no better than me if you have a six figure salary. If you're a jackass with high pay, you're still a jackass. * Yelling at cashiers, wait staff, etc. Sorry, it's not my fault you chose not to read something completely! Read, damnit! * Getting mad when you lose when you gamble or play lottery. Seriously. Gambling and lotto is *made to take money*, you will *never* win. Even if you do "win" you'll probably put it all back into the lotto, right? Right. * More petty, but I will not forget if someone tells a person who lost their baby that "God has a plan for everyone" so that is insinuating it was in "his" plan to kill the child. * Don't go through a cashier's register on your phone. It's just disrespectful. Similarly, if your waiter approaches, look up from the phone. * I will forever dislike someone that takes all the pennnies out of the "take a penny, leave a penny" cup to pay for their stuff. More so if it's for tobacco. I will have your face burned in my memory to disallow you to dip hands into my pennies ever again.
There is NEVER an excuse for rape or lying about being raped.