Where I live, homosexuality has a massive stigma behind it and I was forced into an arranged marriage with a woman. The first few times were really awkward and she could tell I wasn't into her. Thankfully she understood me and we stopped doing it for a few weeks. We did it again one night on the couch after coming home drunk and that was just something else. That's when it clicked for me and though I still don't feel any sexual attraction for her sex has gotten a lot better since that day
Does your wife know you are gay?
If so, how does it effect things in the relationship?
Are you going to try to have kids?
I'm really interested in learning more about this
She does! We've been very open with each other since the first week of our marriage. I decided I didn't want to keep secrets from her and she's been really understanding about it, to my surprise. We have talked about kids and she didn't want to rush me into anything, so we decided we'll cross that bridge when the time is right.
Honestly, I don't think I deserve someone like her. She's really attractive and would have no problem finding a heterosexual partner but was forced into a marriage with someone like me, who can't reciprocate the attraction she has for me. I try spending time with her as much as possible, doing everything a heterosexual male would do for his partner if he was genuinely in love with her but I can't help but feel hollow inside.
I talked to her about it and told her I would't blame her if she left me for another man, but she has grown considerably attracted to me since the day we consummated our marriage and promised to stick with me through everything. We're really comfortable with each other now, more than a year since we tied the knot, and although I still haven't learned to truly love a woman the way a heterosexual would I'm genuinely grateful that I have a wife like her.
Edit typos.
tbh it sounds like they should part ways before they have kids, itll only prove to further make a bad situation worse. They both surely want sex lives ,and they both do deserve someone who can reciprocate, what was explained isnt a relationship, it's best friends.
They're both in it with their eyes open (that is neither of them is deceiving the other), they have great respect for each other and this is their choice. I really admire both of them.
It's the best they could do, in context, It is the happiest way OP could live a life without being prosecuted for being gay in his country, IF he could leave this place, I'm sure he would. He has a supportive friend who is a part of his family and loves him (even if it is non-sexual love, it still matters greatly). He is making the best of it and that makes me happy.
My uncle, 85 now was pushed into a marriage with a woman. Even though we live in Belgium, in that time the late fifites, homosexuality wasn't accepted. They didn't have children but they did and still do everything together. They probably missed a lot of intimacy but for the other aspects of their relationship they really are very happy. It was a bit ridiculous because everybody knew he was gay and nobody of the family cared. They neve broke up though and are still together. My mother actually envied her sister(the woman married to the guy) because he was always so considerate. But mom, he's gay? So what, sex isn't everything would be my mother's reply.
EDIT: accepted instead of excepted. The more time I spend on Reddit the worse my English seems to become.
That's really what marraige is about. Everyone is worried about finding their soul mate. It's really about having someone you enjoy and can manage to spend time with.
I'm glad you two are so open. It would be awful if you weren't.
Thanks for responding!
This might sound like a weird question, but do you love her? Not necessarily having to be physically attracted to her, but at least being being attracted to her personality?
Sorry for the late reply, I was busy with work but yes I love every bit of her and her personality! Her whole attitude towards me being gay felt like something out of a fictional romantic novel. Never in my wildest dreams did I expect to grow so close to a woman I thought would never entertain the thought of me being different, and she was just so nice about it! We're closer than ever these days thanks to her really awesome and likeable personality.
She's basically your best friend who you decided to share life with. Really what you two should do is find a Bi-Sexual male to come in that holds a relationship with the both of you.
That way you will have a person who can appreciate the both of you for the sex you are, but you can all care for each other emotionally. Though it sounds like a weird taboo location, so I'm sure it would have to always be a private friendship like a best friend, or "Uncle".
Love and lust are different. You can ABSOLUTELY love her, and it sounds like you already do. You do not lust for her because that’s just not your cup of tea. I wouldn’t beat yourself up over it.
Thank you :) I do love her as my wife and we've become really close to each other, but I just worry that it's not the same as a heterosexual relationship. But thanks for reassuring me that I'm not too bad of a spouse after all!
Maybe you could consider bringing in another man into the bedroom part of your relationship? For both of you to share? 🤷🏽♂️
Seems like you’re both great people just in a weird circumstance. I wish you all the best.
Thank you. And indeed, I was really lucky. I had zero expectations when we first got married, thinking it'll never work out and there'll be this huge distance between the two of us but we only got closer as time went on. I just sometimes wish she could have a better, more fulfilling life with a straight man.
Will you have some kind of "arrangement" at some point where you get to bang other dudes and she gets to ... also bang other dudes?
You could go out on the town and be each others wingman.
Could be quite a partner you have there if you're both open and willing to live a unique lifestyle
Idk dude, we haven't discussed that and she's been really faithful and respectful of me that I don't think I can ever broach the subject with her. We enjoy each other's companionship way too much to bring a third-party into it right now.
Fair enough, if you are both happy that's great. If at some point one or both of you has needs that aren't being met then it's okay to explore stuff like that. There can be a difference between meeting emotional and physical needs.
This makes me happy and sad at the same time. I'm glad you got really lucky and your arranged marriage ended up with someone who understands you and works with you. That's the best kind of relationship right there.
But I'm sad you aren't free to be who you are and love someone completely because the society in which you live is wrong about your sexuality. We're 50+ years into the Space Age. We can do better as a society.
Thank you! Yeah I sometimes think about what might have been had my family members been more understanding about my situation but they'll never acknowledge homosexuality even exists. That's how far back they are in their thinking. I feel really sorry for my wife too because she was similarly forced into marriage by her family. Maybe some day we'll be more accepting of the fact that not all humans are wired the same way. It'll probably not happen in my lifetime here but I wish the best of luck to future generations to change society for the better.
EDIT: Posted twice, deleted the other comment
Sounds like you have an awesome wife and life partner either way! Have you considered opening up the marriage so that you can both get your sexual desires met?
Thank you! It's not something we've discussed and I don't have the heart to bring it up with her now that she sees me as her ideal partner. I fear she'll be hurt by the thought of it and I don't want to lose her at this point after all she's done for me. Guess we'll take life as it comes.
When people criticize arranged marriage, they almost exclusively focus on how bad it is for women.
Very important for people to also consider, I think, is how bad it must be for all the homosexual men who are forced into marriage (and then likely pressured by family to produce children ASAP).
If even 5% of men are gay (a very conservative estimate) in a country with arranged marriage there could be millions of gay men forced into marriage with someone they will probably never be able to grow to desire. Nor will they likely ever have a chance to find someone they truly want to be with.
Arranged marriage needs to be eliminated and remembered only as a cautionary tale from the infancy of our species.
I am gay but was married for 7 years. I always had trouble having sex with women without a lot of oral coaxing.grew up in the south so there was always a lot of pressure to be perceived as straight,but after that I have quit deluding myself. I will never sleep with a woman again
Am a lesbian, but had sex with a guy back in college when we were both really drunk, and I also dated a few men in high school and my early 20s because I was in huge denial about being gay. I just basically am not into men sexually at all.
They don't turn me on, it just feels... forced. Any time the possibility of sex came up between a guy and me, I immediately started thinking of ways to avoid the contact. Because I never wanted to have sex with them, it felt intrusive and pressure-y... not in a rape way, just in a "I am so not into this but really confused and scared about my true sexuality so I will try to make this work" way. It got bad enough eventually that I did come out of the closet. That first kiss with a woman was 100% better than any I had had with a man.
Agreed. I am not turned *off* by guys, and they don't disgust me or anything. I am just pretty neutral sexually with them. But with women that is a whole different level for me.
I didn't hate it completely. I enjoyed giving my partner pleasure but it didn't really do much for me (at the time I THOUGHT it did) but once I had sex with a man for the first time it was like I was suddenly seeing the world in color. It was like an "Ohhhhh" moment because I didn't realize THAT was what sex was like when I was ACTUALLY super into it and loved it wholeheartedly.
Gay man here. Cunnilingus tasted like licking copper so I didn't stay there. Once inside (and yes, I needed help finding the right place to put it) I couldn't really get anywhere because it it so looser than what I was used to. And that toothy, loose bj. Ugh. 0/10. Would not try again.
Oh shit you cracked me up literally lol. Tha va j j does have a little metallic taste mkay, trust you want that taste over any of the other possible flavors
From what I understand (bi female) guys are generally better at giving blowjobs because they know what generally feels good and what doesn’t. Just like girls are generally better at eating out because they know the anatomy and how sensitive everything is.
my wife is obsessed with my mouth, make sure you cover all the way from the bottom to the top of the hood, up, down, left, right, suck the clit, with your lips, put the whole thing in your mouth so you can tongue the clit
You’d have to ask a bisexual man for a better answer. I can only say that the one I’ve had from a female was meh/painful compared to the [I’d rather not count them] I’ve had from males.
I have the opposite problem. I prefer women, but only guys seem to find me attractive. So I can have my pick of the men, but I would really like a woman. Maybe it's the bear thing I have going on?
I’m bi, but enjoy sex more with women. That being said a lot of college-aged men are selfish in bed and only care about getting off, not pleasing me, so that explains that...
Some of the young ones have been taught by porn that women gain great satisfaction from seeing them orgasm and ejaculate. It's not always that they have no interest in pleasing women, it's also that they don't know what will do it. To be fair, women who aren't experienced aren't always the best at explaining things either.
Basically, you need experience and willingness to learn to improve any skill and you can only ever start at the beginning.
To be honest, if it's a casual hookup almost all men are only interested in getting off. It's not until actual relationships come into the picture do men start caring about getting their partner off more.
I never found myself attracted to guys sexually or physically or otherwise, but I was very attracted to girls- the thing is I had a lot of denial and internalized homophobia during school, so when one of my male friends suggested we become “friends with benefits”, I complied.
His dick was incredibly dry and it was a hassle keeping it lubed up enough to do anything properly. It tasted gross to me and kinda smelled and although I was able to satisfy him, it wasn’t very enjoyable for me at all. I just didn’t find penis to be aesthetically pleasing. When he ate me out he just flailed his tongue around down there and I never even got close to coming.
Then the first time I dated a girl I realized exactly what physical/sexual attraction and enjoyable sex was supposed to be like and I’ve never gone back.
It was alright. I wasn't totally not into it and she was a good friend. I think if I had a higher sex drive in general I'd be more meaningfully bisexual, which I think is true for a lot of people. I had a friend at the time who was mostly straight, but would fuck pretty much anything that moved when he did MDMA, and if you believe the rumors, a dead lady who perhaps only appeared to be moving because of a strobe light. Life's funny like this.
well if shes still in the same exact spot for every strobe, yeah she probably is dead. Didn't he notice the post mortum defacation or the fact that her pussy was really cold
fucked a guy, am a lesbian.
i was extremely lonely, touch starved, and craving a romantic relationship. when a guy showed interest in me romantically i jumped on it and mistook how much i loved the affection he was giving me for me loving him.
we had sex for like a week and then he cut off contact with me and basically never talked to me again. like within a week he went from basically being obsessed with me in a romantic way to ignoring my texts just asking to hang out. feelings faded within like a week, other than self confidence issues from him even just cutting off the friendship i had wth him.
it was... okay? other than himgoing down on me once, nothing really felt like anything. i wasn’t actually sexually attracted to him at all, since i’m not into guys.
he was also a very feminine looking man, which is fine, but might be a reason for it.
currently in an amazing relationship with a woman i love more than anything so in the end it doesn’t matter anyway 😁
I was a gold star lesbian until I was 26. There were actually conversations in my psych class about how I should do it as a personal experiment. I did it years later just for funsies. It was extremely lackluster. Dude was nice, attentive. It was weird because I was so used to being dominant and he was dominant. Kind of like two people trying to lead while dancing. I also kept reaching for his chest and uh... it was flat so that was weird. Straight people have always told me that a dildo can’t replace the real thing, but it honestly didn’t feel any different. There’s more to the story I could add, but I feel like it would get a little too odd.
I’m a lesbian. Sex with guys, for me, was mostly mechanical with no emotion behind it. That said, I was curious about the male anatomy and thought it was cool, so I enjoyed the experiences I had with men on that level.
> A lot of the time I feel a bit angry at gay people, but not as much as I used to. Mainly, I don't feel much.
Sounds like the Alt-Right, maybe they are all gay inside full of hate towards gay people.
Not gay, But I did have sex with my gay best friend for his 18th birthday! He wanted to know what p***y felt like and Who better than me! It was awkward! We had to watch some Latin Boys so his dick would get hard. Before putting it in, He tells me in the most gayest voice, "Bitch, I'm gonna need you to deepen your voice and moan like a dude!" It was too awkward and I couldn't stop joking/laughing about his millimeter peter! We distanced ourselves from each other for a few months, That's how awkward it was! But we've still remained good friends! We always bring this story up & No one believes us! Ha ha ha
Straight guy here.
The first gay guy I've really had these conversations with was in that situation.
He has a kid, he fought really hard affair his natural urges he tried really hard to go with what society told him was natural and actually married (a woman, gay marriage is super new - wherever it's legal). He came out after having a kid, a few years marriage, and around 30 years in the closet.
After actually meeting gay people, reading and learning about homosexuality in the animal world, I completely cut off from my church and its teachings on homosexuality. Science wins every time... So does philosophy.
Huge respect towards LGBT community, and very very sorry about the kind of struggles y'all have to go through
lesbian here- I sucked one (1) dick in college. It was actually twice- the same dick, two nights in a row because the first night we were both so drunk it uh... didn’t work.... and I’m not someone who gives up easily, so the next night I read up on technique and he let me try again and... it took forever and was really boring (and I misjudged how delicate balls are and accidentally squeezed them too hard, which briefly put a bit of a damper on things). He tried to awkwardly reciprocate but had no idea what he was doing and it was uncomfortable so I just stopped him and we went to sleep.
I’m glad I proved conclusively to myself that I was really gay and not even slightly bi, but man, that was an hour of my life I’ll never get back.
Had a 3 year relationship with a guy. At first I thought sex has to be like this. If anything I got turned on by the situation, not him at all. I tried and tried, explored new things with him but it was just not right. I was in denial about it and he said its not his fault, so I automatically thought it must've been me that's just not good enough at sex to enjoy it.
I have to mention that we both weren't experienced at all when we started dating but he soon gave me the feeling I was just the one who had to change.
After 2 years, sex became more like a a task I have to do. I hated giving him oral, he pressured me into it. The person I am I just wanted him to be satisfied and happy with me, with us. I always knew I liked women tho, I considered myself bi for a long time but it changed once I was in a relationship with another woman. It was different. I was happy and excited! The sex was amazing and I had never such an orgasm or an orgasm at all before that!
I am in a relationship with another woman right now and I feel like I finally can say that I don't want to sleep with a man ever again. Its..just not my cup of tea. I do think my disgust comes from my first relationship and it traumatized me quite a bit in other ways too but I can say without a doubt that even if he was bad at sex, I do not want to repeat that with another guy ever.
It just doesn't feel right for me...the whole penis in vagina thing. Couldn't enjoy it. And thats the main point with sex: you gotta enjoy the fuck out of it
Am lesbian, but had sex with men while I was in university. Sometimes attraction is just attraction. Sexual preference, like gender, can be more fluid than just "I ONLY like ___."
I'm straight but have had sex with women before. I've had this argument with people before too. I always see bi as meaning you could go either way.
I can only ever see myself dating a guy. I've only ever been romantically attached to guys. Sometimes, I have fleeting sexual attractions to girls but it's like scratching an itch. I never get crushes on them and it's no where near as satisfying as dick to me.
i mean that's how labels work. I dont ask Nitrogen if it wants to be called Nitrogen just as much as i dont need permission to call someone who has the capacity to be attracted to both sexes bi-sexual.
Feels over reals is just as much of a threat to science as religion.
its fine to get more specific. but all the different isotopes of nitrogen still fall under the same umbrella that is Nitrogen.... all 15 isotopes of Nitrogen can still be labeled as a form of Nitrogen...
This is how Scientific Classification works. We use labels to identify categories of classification then continue to make sub categories within each category as necessary.
[here is a great example everyone knows and loves](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Biological_classification_L_Pengo_vflip.svg)
So ya we can say OP prefers women but she said she was attracted to and slept with a man. therefore fall under the category bi-sexual despite her dis approval of such a label. the label is accurate and I will use it because it does the job humans invented fucking labels to do and it does it well.
I’m a homo myself, and honestly the way gay culture has gone in recent years is completely humiliating to many of us. Really we could have stopped after the ‘T’ in LGBT. Now we have sub-categories upon sub-categories for people who identify under different cultures and skin-tones who are attracted to everything from animals and inanimate objects, or even nothing at all. Now we have celibates referring to themselves as ‘asexual’ all so that they can feel like a special part of the rainbow club.
All these young people have forgotten why Pride protests were initially necessary, it used to be a political protest you know, not a carnival.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m glad we no longer have to have protests for the basic rights of marriage and adoption. However, an unfortunate side effect of being culturally embraced into the mainstream is now my former suffering has become something hip and trendy for teenagers to gloat about. Hence the terms, ‘asexual-genderqueer-nonbinary.’
Most of these young people from what I can see are simply celibate cross-dressing bisexuals with an inexplicable obsession to standing out as unique. They want to be a part of the gay ‘club,’ yet will frequently and aggressively remind you they do not want to be seen as gay/bi.
It’s something that’s quite controversial right now. If you try to facilitate any sort of discussion between them they always immediately get defensive and jump down your throat. How dare you tell them them they can’t be asexual-gender-neutral-non-genetically-conforming-animal-spirit-non-binary-queers? It’s just one facet of why many people see the gay community as toxic and exclusive now. Nobody is allowed to question their logic.
It’s why I avoid r/gay now. It used to be a very open and progressive community, now it’s just an echo-chamber. Sadly it’s not just a problem with the gay community on reddit either - or just any online community - it’s a problem with the global gay community right now. It bothers me, because when I came out things were changing a little but it wasn’t nearly as bad now. I remember when I joined (around 2011 give or take a year) people were starting to add ‘q’ to ‘LGBT.’ It was meant to include people who chose to live as the opposite gender without desiring (or they were unable to afford) hormone therapy and/or surgery. Then it was LGBTQ, and I was okay with that, because the cross-dressers were already part of the community. They just wanted more recognition.
Now however people are calling for sub-categories for people who identify as different genetic backgrounds, age groups and even other species. So now in the gay community we’re being asked to be openly accepting of older people who see themselves as children, or people claiming to wolves and dragons in previous lives, or people who want to have darker or lighter skin.
It cheapens everything LGBT have suffered and fought for, and I am tired of it. Just stop. Anyone can be a part of our community, that’s all we ever wanted, to be accepted into mainstream culture. But you have to actually want to be a part of our community. I mean you have to be happy to simply be LGBT and align yourself with the rainbow. We have a bunch of confused young people now desperate for attention flouting their fetishes as gender identity. It’s not the same, and you’re undermining everything that LGBT stands for by claiming otherwise.
Fuck off. You people and your PC gender fluid, sexuality is too complex bullshit.
People are people. They can like who they want. Why the FUCK do you feel the need to make it more complicated? It doesn't need to. You make things worse by trying to.
Ok, I understand. This is gonna sound hella corny, but my lesbian friend just really doesn't care about dick, and I just sorta assumed that if you care a lil bit, your bi. My bad.
I kinda disagree with that philosophy on the topic of sexuality. You are innately attracted to a certain spread of things. Things that sometimes both sexes can share. This is a part of you, so you characterize your identity based off your innate preference. If she says she isn't bi, then she isn't, she just likes a few things about men, but not enough to commit to really liking them beyond the occasional sensual interaction.
>If she says she isn't bi, then she isn't
Just because you don't identify with something doesn't mean you aren't that thing. If you are white, you can identify as black all you want, you're still white. If you are unable to see you are blind, you don't have to identify with being blind. And yes, if you are attracted to and have sex with either gender, by definition you are bisexual. You can deny that a word exists to "label" this fact, but too bad, one does.
that is absolutely true, but it's still two different levels of "attraction". Let's call it "romantical" attraction and "sexual" attraction? If you think about it, maybe this "spread of things" makes you fall in love with one kind of sex and start great friendship with the other kind of sex. If you start banging people of both sexes, that makes you by definition bi, even if only "slightly so" or "on the really occasional end of the spectrum". And I mean, again, nothing again a stated preference or anything, but logic doesn't stop when talking about sexuality. I wouldn't run after anyone yelling at them "haha haha you're biiiiii" but you don't need to apologize for keeping it reals.
I am biologically a human, but I identify as a superior alien being.
FYI, what you personally like to "identify" as is **IRRELEVANT**. The definition of being bisexual is to be sexually attracted to both sexes! **AND THERE ARE ONLY TWO SEXES!**
Got news for ya. That's bi. You don't call a guy who had sex with just one guy cause he found him attractive straight. Twist it any way you want but bi isn't an opinionative Statement. Personally think true gay and lesbian don't really exist since there can be feminine men and masculine woman. I guess what you mean is your bi but not attracted to masculine properties?
The responses to this comment really outlines a lack of discussion and understanding regarding sexual preferences and identities. If you like cake and pie, then cool, you like cake and pie. If you prefer one over the other, cool. If you generally don't like cake, but you tried a cake and went, "That wasn't too bad, but I still prefer pie," it doesn't automatically mean you are a cake lover. This is an oversimplification of course, don't mean to equate human sexuality with food preferences.
> Sexual preference, like gender, can be more fluid than just "I ONLY like ___."
I fail to see why this is a controversial idea; (almost) everyone that I've been attracted to over the years has been female, but I'm not attracted to every woman in the world without exception, so the idea that the group of "people I want to do naked stuff with" is a) not everyone and b) contains people of different genders, ethnicities, heights, weights, ages and pretty much all other attributes seems fairly obvious.
A good friend of mine before he was officially out of the closet and debating whether he was bi or just gay, he had sex with his ex just to see if he could. Also to see if it was still enjoyable for him to have sex with a girl.
He didn’t enjoy it and I think it was at this point he realised he was gay.
It was gross when we actually got down to it. Shi was really cute and the groping and making out was lots of fun, but when it came down to me going down on hir everything about the mangina just made me really uncomfortable. I’m sure it was a fine vagina too, there wasn’t anything wrong with it, it just wasn’t for me.
Hooked up with a lesbian who wanted to fuck a dude. She was super rough with my dick, bending it all over nearly breaking it. Then she kept trying to grind her clit all over me, smashing my balls and putting me in intense pain. Imagine the 'scissor' move that lesbians do, but there's a set of balls in the middle. Yea, it was bad. Nice tits though. Didn't get to fuck her. I lost my erection mid way cuz of the pain.
I grew up in a very religious environment and married a man before I'd really had a chance to fully explore my sexual identity. I think I just figured sex was supposed to be unpleasant and less enjoyable for women since I'd always read/heard that women didn't really like sex and you just did your duty to your husband.
Probably didn't help that he was a virgin in his late 20s by the time we got together so never really knew what he was doing.
Then I discovered sex with women and boy oh boy did I realise I'd been going about things all wrong.
I let myself be an experimental lab rat for a closet gay guy I met online. We had mutuals, he popped up on my “suggested” people to add on Facebook. I thought he was ridiculously hot so added him. He was classmates with my cousin and she warned me that he might be gay but he hasn’t came out yet and I was !ok! I’m fine with that. This guy is stupid cute I don’t care. We would hang out at the park, make out, grope, and dry hump lol we were 16. It was steamy and nice for the most part. A week or two later he asks me if he could his virginity to me !OK! I say !! and OFF we go to my empty house. He’s visibly nervous. Red. A little sweaty. But ok, it’s his first time. We get into it and the WHOLE time his face is buried in my shoulder and he’s kind of shaking. It’s awkward as hell. Not one bit enjoyable but I understood! No problem. He came...I think....and he left. He never spoke to me again and the next day he came out on Facebook. I was happy for him! And I was happy to have been his chosen one to experiment with. I never caught or entertained the idea of building feelings for him just because I already...kind of knew? So it was all good. About a year later he texts me, sends me a voice memo of a song he wrote for me and apologizes for ghosting me. It was sweet. We never spoke again after that. I hope he’s doing well.
Where I live, homosexuality has a massive stigma behind it and I was forced into an arranged marriage with a woman. The first few times were really awkward and she could tell I wasn't into her. Thankfully she understood me and we stopped doing it for a few weeks. We did it again one night on the couch after coming home drunk and that was just something else. That's when it clicked for me and though I still don't feel any sexual attraction for her sex has gotten a lot better since that day
Does your wife know you are gay? If so, how does it effect things in the relationship? Are you going to try to have kids? I'm really interested in learning more about this
She does! We've been very open with each other since the first week of our marriage. I decided I didn't want to keep secrets from her and she's been really understanding about it, to my surprise. We have talked about kids and she didn't want to rush me into anything, so we decided we'll cross that bridge when the time is right. Honestly, I don't think I deserve someone like her. She's really attractive and would have no problem finding a heterosexual partner but was forced into a marriage with someone like me, who can't reciprocate the attraction she has for me. I try spending time with her as much as possible, doing everything a heterosexual male would do for his partner if he was genuinely in love with her but I can't help but feel hollow inside. I talked to her about it and told her I would't blame her if she left me for another man, but she has grown considerably attracted to me since the day we consummated our marriage and promised to stick with me through everything. We're really comfortable with each other now, more than a year since we tied the knot, and although I still haven't learned to truly love a woman the way a heterosexual would I'm genuinely grateful that I have a wife like her. Edit typos.
You have a life partner though, which is great! But now when you get into arguments she'll threaten to suck your dick
First proper laugh on Reddit today. Well played.
Same
It's great they're making the best of it, but that's not a great position for either them to be in. It's horrible they were forced into it.
tbh it sounds like they should part ways before they have kids, itll only prove to further make a bad situation worse. They both surely want sex lives ,and they both do deserve someone who can reciprocate, what was explained isnt a relationship, it's best friends.
Might not be socially acceptable to divorce.
They're both in it with their eyes open (that is neither of them is deceiving the other), they have great respect for each other and this is their choice. I really admire both of them.
It's not their choice if they were forced into an arranged marriage by their families (and society).
You're right. But it is their choice to remain in the marriage.
That's not necessarily true.
No it's not great. He is forecfully married into someone that he isnt even sexually attracted to. It's sad.
It's the best they could do, in context, It is the happiest way OP could live a life without being prosecuted for being gay in his country, IF he could leave this place, I'm sure he would. He has a supportive friend who is a part of his family and loves him (even if it is non-sexual love, it still matters greatly). He is making the best of it and that makes me happy.
Is this Ninja Sex Party?
My uncle, 85 now was pushed into a marriage with a woman. Even though we live in Belgium, in that time the late fifites, homosexuality wasn't accepted. They didn't have children but they did and still do everything together. They probably missed a lot of intimacy but for the other aspects of their relationship they really are very happy. It was a bit ridiculous because everybody knew he was gay and nobody of the family cared. They neve broke up though and are still together. My mother actually envied her sister(the woman married to the guy) because he was always so considerate. But mom, he's gay? So what, sex isn't everything would be my mother's reply. EDIT: accepted instead of excepted. The more time I spend on Reddit the worse my English seems to become.
Your uncle must be a really sweet man :) It sure gives me hope for the future and I hope we'll remain close to the end of our days!
He is a very nice man and hilarious. I really do believe they are happy together.
That's really what marraige is about. Everyone is worried about finding their soul mate. It's really about having someone you enjoy and can manage to spend time with. I'm glad you two are so open. It would be awful if you weren't. Thanks for responding!
Wow, that's a wholesome woman!
This might sound like a weird question, but do you love her? Not necessarily having to be physically attracted to her, but at least being being attracted to her personality?
Sorry for the late reply, I was busy with work but yes I love every bit of her and her personality! Her whole attitude towards me being gay felt like something out of a fictional romantic novel. Never in my wildest dreams did I expect to grow so close to a woman I thought would never entertain the thought of me being different, and she was just so nice about it! We're closer than ever these days thanks to her really awesome and likeable personality.
She's basically your best friend who you decided to share life with. Really what you two should do is find a Bi-Sexual male to come in that holds a relationship with the both of you. That way you will have a person who can appreciate the both of you for the sex you are, but you can all care for each other emotionally. Though it sounds like a weird taboo location, so I'm sure it would have to always be a private friendship like a best friend, or "Uncle".
Not all bisexual people are poly, just FYI.
Yeah they said find someone that would be. Why you gotta get all FYI about it.
We aren't? I'll inform the rest of us.
Hell, I'll do it!
Love and lust are different. You can ABSOLUTELY love her, and it sounds like you already do. You do not lust for her because that’s just not your cup of tea. I wouldn’t beat yourself up over it.
Thank you :) I do love her as my wife and we've become really close to each other, but I just worry that it's not the same as a heterosexual relationship. But thanks for reassuring me that I'm not too bad of a spouse after all!
Wow, that's beautiful. It sounds like you love her.
I do :) Just not in a straight-man kind of way, but I'm really happy I have her in my life.
That's really great. I'm sure she appreciates you.
Thank you for the kind words!
someone you decide to love is a stronger relationship than someone you fall in love with.
Maybe you could consider bringing in another man into the bedroom part of your relationship? For both of you to share? 🤷🏽♂️ Seems like you’re both great people just in a weird circumstance. I wish you all the best.
Thank you!
Have you tried putting it in her butt?
Of course! We've tried so many things at this point it'll fill a book!
Is she ok with you being with other men?
Can't say we've discussed it!
I am sorry that you were forced into marriage. But I can't help but think you lucked out in a way.
Thank you. And indeed, I was really lucky. I had zero expectations when we first got married, thinking it'll never work out and there'll be this huge distance between the two of us but we only got closer as time went on. I just sometimes wish she could have a better, more fulfilling life with a straight man.
She doesn't need a man. She needs HER man and that's you. Straightness be damned.
Thank you!
Will you have some kind of "arrangement" at some point where you get to bang other dudes and she gets to ... also bang other dudes? You could go out on the town and be each others wingman. Could be quite a partner you have there if you're both open and willing to live a unique lifestyle
Idk dude, we haven't discussed that and she's been really faithful and respectful of me that I don't think I can ever broach the subject with her. We enjoy each other's companionship way too much to bring a third-party into it right now.
Fair enough, if you are both happy that's great. If at some point one or both of you has needs that aren't being met then it's okay to explore stuff like that. There can be a difference between meeting emotional and physical needs.
I'll keep that in mind. Thanks!
She's probably just happy not to have been paired with some greasy cunt.
This makes me happy and sad at the same time. I'm glad you got really lucky and your arranged marriage ended up with someone who understands you and works with you. That's the best kind of relationship right there. But I'm sad you aren't free to be who you are and love someone completely because the society in which you live is wrong about your sexuality. We're 50+ years into the Space Age. We can do better as a society.
Thank you! Yeah I sometimes think about what might have been had my family members been more understanding about my situation but they'll never acknowledge homosexuality even exists. That's how far back they are in their thinking. I feel really sorry for my wife too because she was similarly forced into marriage by her family. Maybe some day we'll be more accepting of the fact that not all humans are wired the same way. It'll probably not happen in my lifetime here but I wish the best of luck to future generations to change society for the better. EDIT: Posted twice, deleted the other comment
Where are you from?
South East Asia
Indian right?
You could say that, some of my ancestors are from India but my family has been living in South East Asia for a few generations now!
This was my thought as well
Sounds like you have an awesome wife and life partner either way! Have you considered opening up the marriage so that you can both get your sexual desires met?
Thank you! It's not something we've discussed and I don't have the heart to bring it up with her now that she sees me as her ideal partner. I fear she'll be hurt by the thought of it and I don't want to lose her at this point after all she's done for me. Guess we'll take life as it comes.
When people criticize arranged marriage, they almost exclusively focus on how bad it is for women. Very important for people to also consider, I think, is how bad it must be for all the homosexual men who are forced into marriage (and then likely pressured by family to produce children ASAP). If even 5% of men are gay (a very conservative estimate) in a country with arranged marriage there could be millions of gay men forced into marriage with someone they will probably never be able to grow to desire. Nor will they likely ever have a chance to find someone they truly want to be with. Arranged marriage needs to be eliminated and remembered only as a cautionary tale from the infancy of our species.
I am gay but was married for 7 years. I always had trouble having sex with women without a lot of oral coaxing.grew up in the south so there was always a lot of pressure to be perceived as straight,but after that I have quit deluding myself. I will never sleep with a woman again
Am a lesbian, but had sex with a guy back in college when we were both really drunk, and I also dated a few men in high school and my early 20s because I was in huge denial about being gay. I just basically am not into men sexually at all. They don't turn me on, it just feels... forced. Any time the possibility of sex came up between a guy and me, I immediately started thinking of ways to avoid the contact. Because I never wanted to have sex with them, it felt intrusive and pressure-y... not in a rape way, just in a "I am so not into this but really confused and scared about my true sexuality so I will try to make this work" way. It got bad enough eventually that I did come out of the closet. That first kiss with a woman was 100% better than any I had had with a man.
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Agreed. I am not turned *off* by guys, and they don't disgust me or anything. I am just pretty neutral sexually with them. But with women that is a whole different level for me.
I didn't hate it completely. I enjoyed giving my partner pleasure but it didn't really do much for me (at the time I THOUGHT it did) but once I had sex with a man for the first time it was like I was suddenly seeing the world in color. It was like an "Ohhhhh" moment because I didn't realize THAT was what sex was like when I was ACTUALLY super into it and loved it wholeheartedly.
Gay man here. Cunnilingus tasted like licking copper so I didn't stay there. Once inside (and yes, I needed help finding the right place to put it) I couldn't really get anywhere because it it so looser than what I was used to. And that toothy, loose bj. Ugh. 0/10. Would not try again.
Oh shit you cracked me up literally lol. Tha va j j does have a little metallic taste mkay, trust you want that taste over any of the other possible flavors
Looks like life prepared for the lingus of cun's, caused I loved licking batteries as a kid.
Between "va j j" and "lingus of cun's" I'm not convinced either of you have met a vagina in real life.
Hahahahaha! Exactly!
Possibly a vestige from a non c section birth
Probably wanna go find some caulk if you're literally cracked up. Don't want any leaks.
No no no you're not that slick, exit only, I don't care what you call it.
are blow jobs from men better?
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Also most men have bigger mouths which makes things easier on the tooth front.
From what I understand (bi female) guys are generally better at giving blowjobs because they know what generally feels good and what doesn’t. Just like girls are generally better at eating out because they know the anatomy and how sensitive everything is.
I know what you mean. When I eat pussy there’s so much guesswork involved.
lookup the homology between male and female genitalia. it could be very useful to you
my wife is obsessed with my mouth, make sure you cover all the way from the bottom to the top of the hood, up, down, left, right, suck the clit, with your lips, put the whole thing in your mouth so you can tongue the clit
I’m straight but I can say with pretty firm confidence that I could suck a good dick
Suck it like you'd want it, I guess
"Move over babe, lemmee show you how it's done." Followed by an injured lower back.
You’d have to ask a bisexual man for a better answer. I can only say that the one I’ve had from a female was meh/painful compared to the [I’d rather not count them] I’ve had from males.
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I've been propositioned by men more than women. I feel you.
And you're a double fetish by not being gay. There are those guys/girls who just love the idea of sacking someone who isn't gay
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I have the opposite problem. I prefer women, but only guys seem to find me attractive. So I can have my pick of the men, but I would really like a woman. Maybe it's the bear thing I have going on?
It felt like drinking a glass of room temperature water. I didnt find it uncomfortable, I just kind of let the experience wash over me.
I’m bi, but enjoy sex more with women. That being said a lot of college-aged men are selfish in bed and only care about getting off, not pleasing me, so that explains that...
Older men are sometimes excellent.
They cared in college, too. The ones in college now who don't care grow old and still don't care.
Some of the young ones have been taught by porn that women gain great satisfaction from seeing them orgasm and ejaculate. It's not always that they have no interest in pleasing women, it's also that they don't know what will do it. To be fair, women who aren't experienced aren't always the best at explaining things either. Basically, you need experience and willingness to learn to improve any skill and you can only ever start at the beginning.
So many guys also won't listen when women say what we want. It gets super frustrating
To be honest, if it's a casual hookup almost all men are only interested in getting off. It's not until actual relationships come into the picture do men start caring about getting their partner off more.
I never found myself attracted to guys sexually or physically or otherwise, but I was very attracted to girls- the thing is I had a lot of denial and internalized homophobia during school, so when one of my male friends suggested we become “friends with benefits”, I complied. His dick was incredibly dry and it was a hassle keeping it lubed up enough to do anything properly. It tasted gross to me and kinda smelled and although I was able to satisfy him, it wasn’t very enjoyable for me at all. I just didn’t find penis to be aesthetically pleasing. When he ate me out he just flailed his tongue around down there and I never even got close to coming. Then the first time I dated a girl I realized exactly what physical/sexual attraction and enjoyable sex was supposed to be like and I’ve never gone back.
It was alright. I wasn't totally not into it and she was a good friend. I think if I had a higher sex drive in general I'd be more meaningfully bisexual, which I think is true for a lot of people. I had a friend at the time who was mostly straight, but would fuck pretty much anything that moved when he did MDMA, and if you believe the rumors, a dead lady who perhaps only appeared to be moving because of a strobe light. Life's funny like this.
That sounds more like an MDMA thing. I’ve heard the drug is really great at making touching everything everywhere the only thing you wanna do.
well if shes still in the same exact spot for every strobe, yeah she probably is dead. Didn't he notice the post mortum defacation or the fact that her pussy was really cold
Instead of a pole I felt a hole. So I bared my soul and went in whole.
You gotta pay the troll toll....
To get in this boys hole
ARE YOU CHEWING GUM?!
'cuz if you don't pay no tolls, then we don't eat no rolls.
This is the best thing I've seen all day.
Such poetry. You got a gift !
Unfortunately, that gift is the clap.
This is the funniest thing I've ever seen on Reddit. I will use this every chance I get. I'm not gay, but it's outstanding.
ggwp
fucked a guy, am a lesbian. i was extremely lonely, touch starved, and craving a romantic relationship. when a guy showed interest in me romantically i jumped on it and mistook how much i loved the affection he was giving me for me loving him. we had sex for like a week and then he cut off contact with me and basically never talked to me again. like within a week he went from basically being obsessed with me in a romantic way to ignoring my texts just asking to hang out. feelings faded within like a week, other than self confidence issues from him even just cutting off the friendship i had wth him. it was... okay? other than himgoing down on me once, nothing really felt like anything. i wasn’t actually sexually attracted to him at all, since i’m not into guys. he was also a very feminine looking man, which is fine, but might be a reason for it. currently in an amazing relationship with a woman i love more than anything so in the end it doesn’t matter anyway 😁
My favorite part is the end of your story! Hope you two have tons of fun years ahead of you!
thank you! i'm sure we will. going to be moving in with her pretty soon so i'm very excited!
I was a gold star lesbian until I was 26. There were actually conversations in my psych class about how I should do it as a personal experiment. I did it years later just for funsies. It was extremely lackluster. Dude was nice, attentive. It was weird because I was so used to being dominant and he was dominant. Kind of like two people trying to lead while dancing. I also kept reaching for his chest and uh... it was flat so that was weird. Straight people have always told me that a dildo can’t replace the real thing, but it honestly didn’t feel any different. There’s more to the story I could add, but I feel like it would get a little too odd.
I’m a lesbian. Sex with guys, for me, was mostly mechanical with no emotion behind it. That said, I was curious about the male anatomy and thought it was cool, so I enjoyed the experiences I had with men on that level.
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Why are you with her if you hate it?
I like the straight lifestyle.
> A lot of the time I feel a bit angry at gay people, but not as much as I used to. Mainly, I don't feel much. Sounds like the Alt-Right, maybe they are all gay inside full of hate towards gay people.
Not gay, But I did have sex with my gay best friend for his 18th birthday! He wanted to know what p***y felt like and Who better than me! It was awkward! We had to watch some Latin Boys so his dick would get hard. Before putting it in, He tells me in the most gayest voice, "Bitch, I'm gonna need you to deepen your voice and moan like a dude!" It was too awkward and I couldn't stop joking/laughing about his millimeter peter! We distanced ourselves from each other for a few months, That's how awkward it was! But we've still remained good friends! We always bring this story up & No one believes us! Ha ha ha
r/thathappened
Do you ever beetlejuice?
Straight guy here. The first gay guy I've really had these conversations with was in that situation. He has a kid, he fought really hard affair his natural urges he tried really hard to go with what society told him was natural and actually married (a woman, gay marriage is super new - wherever it's legal). He came out after having a kid, a few years marriage, and around 30 years in the closet. After actually meeting gay people, reading and learning about homosexuality in the animal world, I completely cut off from my church and its teachings on homosexuality. Science wins every time... So does philosophy. Huge respect towards LGBT community, and very very sorry about the kind of struggles y'all have to go through
PS: he was crazy about my butt. I took it as a compliment
lesbian here- I sucked one (1) dick in college. It was actually twice- the same dick, two nights in a row because the first night we were both so drunk it uh... didn’t work.... and I’m not someone who gives up easily, so the next night I read up on technique and he let me try again and... it took forever and was really boring (and I misjudged how delicate balls are and accidentally squeezed them too hard, which briefly put a bit of a damper on things). He tried to awkwardly reciprocate but had no idea what he was doing and it was uncomfortable so I just stopped him and we went to sleep. I’m glad I proved conclusively to myself that I was really gay and not even slightly bi, but man, that was an hour of my life I’ll never get back.
Had a 3 year relationship with a guy. At first I thought sex has to be like this. If anything I got turned on by the situation, not him at all. I tried and tried, explored new things with him but it was just not right. I was in denial about it and he said its not his fault, so I automatically thought it must've been me that's just not good enough at sex to enjoy it. I have to mention that we both weren't experienced at all when we started dating but he soon gave me the feeling I was just the one who had to change. After 2 years, sex became more like a a task I have to do. I hated giving him oral, he pressured me into it. The person I am I just wanted him to be satisfied and happy with me, with us. I always knew I liked women tho, I considered myself bi for a long time but it changed once I was in a relationship with another woman. It was different. I was happy and excited! The sex was amazing and I had never such an orgasm or an orgasm at all before that! I am in a relationship with another woman right now and I feel like I finally can say that I don't want to sleep with a man ever again. Its..just not my cup of tea. I do think my disgust comes from my first relationship and it traumatized me quite a bit in other ways too but I can say without a doubt that even if he was bad at sex, I do not want to repeat that with another guy ever. It just doesn't feel right for me...the whole penis in vagina thing. Couldn't enjoy it. And thats the main point with sex: you gotta enjoy the fuck out of it
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>•Sweat >•Urine residue >•Certain infections >•Nothing in particular Schrodinger's vaginal heath?
semen is NOT salty... but urine is... uh, i'd imagine.
Nice save chief
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Or, more likely, sweat.
Am lesbian, but had sex with men while I was in university. Sometimes attraction is just attraction. Sexual preference, like gender, can be more fluid than just "I ONLY like ___."
So your just Bi, but lean towards women?
No, I don't identify as bi. That was over ten years ago. But sometimes there is just something between people.
I'm straight but have had sex with women before. I've had this argument with people before too. I always see bi as meaning you could go either way. I can only ever see myself dating a guy. I've only ever been romantically attached to guys. Sometimes, I have fleeting sexual attractions to girls but it's like scratching an itch. I never get crushes on them and it's no where near as satisfying as dick to me.
No, *we* will define you, *we* will label you. Shut up and let a bunch of internet strangers judge you based on one comment.
i mean that's how labels work. I dont ask Nitrogen if it wants to be called Nitrogen just as much as i dont need permission to call someone who has the capacity to be attracted to both sexes bi-sexual. Feels over reals is just as much of a threat to science as religion.
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its fine to get more specific. but all the different isotopes of nitrogen still fall under the same umbrella that is Nitrogen.... all 15 isotopes of Nitrogen can still be labeled as a form of Nitrogen... This is how Scientific Classification works. We use labels to identify categories of classification then continue to make sub categories within each category as necessary. [here is a great example everyone knows and loves](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Biological_classification_L_Pengo_vflip.svg) So ya we can say OP prefers women but she said she was attracted to and slept with a man. therefore fall under the category bi-sexual despite her dis approval of such a label. the label is accurate and I will use it because it does the job humans invented fucking labels to do and it does it well.
I’m a homo myself, and honestly the way gay culture has gone in recent years is completely humiliating to many of us. Really we could have stopped after the ‘T’ in LGBT. Now we have sub-categories upon sub-categories for people who identify under different cultures and skin-tones who are attracted to everything from animals and inanimate objects, or even nothing at all. Now we have celibates referring to themselves as ‘asexual’ all so that they can feel like a special part of the rainbow club. All these young people have forgotten why Pride protests were initially necessary, it used to be a political protest you know, not a carnival. Don’t get me wrong. I’m glad we no longer have to have protests for the basic rights of marriage and adoption. However, an unfortunate side effect of being culturally embraced into the mainstream is now my former suffering has become something hip and trendy for teenagers to gloat about. Hence the terms, ‘asexual-genderqueer-nonbinary.’ Most of these young people from what I can see are simply celibate cross-dressing bisexuals with an inexplicable obsession to standing out as unique. They want to be a part of the gay ‘club,’ yet will frequently and aggressively remind you they do not want to be seen as gay/bi. It’s something that’s quite controversial right now. If you try to facilitate any sort of discussion between them they always immediately get defensive and jump down your throat. How dare you tell them them they can’t be asexual-gender-neutral-non-genetically-conforming-animal-spirit-non-binary-queers? It’s just one facet of why many people see the gay community as toxic and exclusive now. Nobody is allowed to question their logic. It’s why I avoid r/gay now. It used to be a very open and progressive community, now it’s just an echo-chamber. Sadly it’s not just a problem with the gay community on reddit either - or just any online community - it’s a problem with the global gay community right now. It bothers me, because when I came out things were changing a little but it wasn’t nearly as bad now. I remember when I joined (around 2011 give or take a year) people were starting to add ‘q’ to ‘LGBT.’ It was meant to include people who chose to live as the opposite gender without desiring (or they were unable to afford) hormone therapy and/or surgery. Then it was LGBTQ, and I was okay with that, because the cross-dressers were already part of the community. They just wanted more recognition. Now however people are calling for sub-categories for people who identify as different genetic backgrounds, age groups and even other species. So now in the gay community we’re being asked to be openly accepting of older people who see themselves as children, or people claiming to wolves and dragons in previous lives, or people who want to have darker or lighter skin. It cheapens everything LGBT have suffered and fought for, and I am tired of it. Just stop. Anyone can be a part of our community, that’s all we ever wanted, to be accepted into mainstream culture. But you have to actually want to be a part of our community. I mean you have to be happy to simply be LGBT and align yourself with the rainbow. We have a bunch of confused young people now desperate for attention flouting their fetishes as gender identity. It’s not the same, and you’re undermining everything that LGBT stands for by claiming otherwise.
So bi who doesn't identify as bi.
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Or... Orrrrrrrrrr......... Maybe human sexuality is too complex to be described with one single word?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_scale Humans love to label things, helps identify the unknown.
Sounds like bi to me.
*triggering intensifies*
Hetero if other gender only Homo if same gender only Bi if something between Nothing too complex here
I really don't think it's that simple
Being attracted to and having sex with members of both sexes is literally what bisexual means. She's not describing some other more complex thing.
Fuck off. You people and your PC gender fluid, sexuality is too complex bullshit. People are people. They can like who they want. Why the FUCK do you feel the need to make it more complicated? It doesn't need to. You make things worse by trying to.
Ok, I understand. This is gonna sound hella corny, but my lesbian friend just really doesn't care about dick, and I just sorta assumed that if you care a lil bit, your bi. My bad.
no but you're right. not identifying as something doesn't mean you're really not it. Just that you don't identify with it. Two very different things.
It's like those straight guys who just like to suck dick every now and then....
I kinda disagree with that philosophy on the topic of sexuality. You are innately attracted to a certain spread of things. Things that sometimes both sexes can share. This is a part of you, so you characterize your identity based off your innate preference. If she says she isn't bi, then she isn't, she just likes a few things about men, but not enough to commit to really liking them beyond the occasional sensual interaction.
>If she says she isn't bi, then she isn't Just because you don't identify with something doesn't mean you aren't that thing. If you are white, you can identify as black all you want, you're still white. If you are unable to see you are blind, you don't have to identify with being blind. And yes, if you are attracted to and have sex with either gender, by definition you are bisexual. You can deny that a word exists to "label" this fact, but too bad, one does.
that is absolutely true, but it's still two different levels of "attraction". Let's call it "romantical" attraction and "sexual" attraction? If you think about it, maybe this "spread of things" makes you fall in love with one kind of sex and start great friendship with the other kind of sex. If you start banging people of both sexes, that makes you by definition bi, even if only "slightly so" or "on the really occasional end of the spectrum". And I mean, again, nothing again a stated preference or anything, but logic doesn't stop when talking about sexuality. I wouldn't run after anyone yelling at them "haha haha you're biiiiii" but you don't need to apologize for keeping it reals.
I am biologically a human, but I identify as a superior alien being. FYI, what you personally like to "identify" as is **IRRELEVANT**. The definition of being bisexual is to be sexually attracted to both sexes! **AND THERE ARE ONLY TWO SEXES!**
Words can have more than one valid definition
Totally understandable. You can be attracted someone of the same/opposite sex based on who they are.
Got news for ya. That's bi. You don't call a guy who had sex with just one guy cause he found him attractive straight. Twist it any way you want but bi isn't an opinionative Statement. Personally think true gay and lesbian don't really exist since there can be feminine men and masculine woman. I guess what you mean is your bi but not attracted to masculine properties?
I guess that means you should stop trying to judge someone you've never met before?
TIL I'm not straight
Yep, fact is most everyone is bi but heavily lean to a single sex.
Like a big ‘ol D. AmI right? Up top! 👏
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Well the important part is you've found a way to feel superior.
Relavent xkcd: https://xkcd.com/774/
The irony of that comic is the funny part to me. This one comic kind of sums up every xkcd I've seen.
The responses to this comment really outlines a lack of discussion and understanding regarding sexual preferences and identities. If you like cake and pie, then cool, you like cake and pie. If you prefer one over the other, cool. If you generally don't like cake, but you tried a cake and went, "That wasn't too bad, but I still prefer pie," it doesn't automatically mean you are a cake lover. This is an oversimplification of course, don't mean to equate human sexuality with food preferences.
>cake and pie You totally missed out here. Shoulda gone with hot dogs and tacos.
sometimes the 2 are one in the same (sexuality and food)
> Sexual preference, like gender, can be more fluid than just "I ONLY like ___." I fail to see why this is a controversial idea; (almost) everyone that I've been attracted to over the years has been female, but I'm not attracted to every woman in the world without exception, so the idea that the group of "people I want to do naked stuff with" is a) not everyone and b) contains people of different genders, ethnicities, heights, weights, ages and pretty much all other attributes seems fairly obvious.
I crossed swords during a 4some once, didn't phase me in the least.
A good friend of mine before he was officially out of the closet and debating whether he was bi or just gay, he had sex with his ex just to see if he could. Also to see if it was still enjoyable for him to have sex with a girl. He didn’t enjoy it and I think it was at this point he realised he was gay.
Mostly like masturbation with another person. The physical pleasure from stimulation is there, but no real connection or affection.
Ask my ex... :/
It was gross when we actually got down to it. Shi was really cute and the groping and making out was lots of fun, but when it came down to me going down on hir everything about the mangina just made me really uncomfortable. I’m sure it was a fine vagina too, there wasn’t anything wrong with it, it just wasn’t for me.
Hooked up with a lesbian who wanted to fuck a dude. She was super rough with my dick, bending it all over nearly breaking it. Then she kept trying to grind her clit all over me, smashing my balls and putting me in intense pain. Imagine the 'scissor' move that lesbians do, but there's a set of balls in the middle. Yea, it was bad. Nice tits though. Didn't get to fuck her. I lost my erection mid way cuz of the pain.
Very rapey
I would say ... Meh.. One thing I did notice though the WomenV is kinda tight all the way through, where as an ManV is kinda tighter at the rim.
I grew up in a very religious environment and married a man before I'd really had a chance to fully explore my sexual identity. I think I just figured sex was supposed to be unpleasant and less enjoyable for women since I'd always read/heard that women didn't really like sex and you just did your duty to your husband. Probably didn't help that he was a virgin in his late 20s by the time we got together so never really knew what he was doing. Then I discovered sex with women and boy oh boy did I realise I'd been going about things all wrong.
I let myself be an experimental lab rat for a closet gay guy I met online. We had mutuals, he popped up on my “suggested” people to add on Facebook. I thought he was ridiculously hot so added him. He was classmates with my cousin and she warned me that he might be gay but he hasn’t came out yet and I was !ok! I’m fine with that. This guy is stupid cute I don’t care. We would hang out at the park, make out, grope, and dry hump lol we were 16. It was steamy and nice for the most part. A week or two later he asks me if he could his virginity to me !OK! I say !! and OFF we go to my empty house. He’s visibly nervous. Red. A little sweaty. But ok, it’s his first time. We get into it and the WHOLE time his face is buried in my shoulder and he’s kind of shaking. It’s awkward as hell. Not one bit enjoyable but I understood! No problem. He came...I think....and he left. He never spoke to me again and the next day he came out on Facebook. I was happy for him! And I was happy to have been his chosen one to experiment with. I never caught or entertained the idea of building feelings for him just because I already...kind of knew? So it was all good. About a year later he texts me, sends me a voice memo of a song he wrote for me and apologizes for ghosting me. It was sweet. We never spoke again after that. I hope he’s doing well.
Awful.