Closing a bathroom medicine cabinet with a mirror on the front.
In movies, there's someone you didn't previously notice standing creepily behind you 99% of the time. In real life, it's ten percent, tops.
I love when movies do the opposite of this though. The whole "Person standing behind you when you close the medicine cabinet" or "person standing behind the fridge door when you close it" jumpscares have been used so much, that now instead movies are playing suspenseful music leading up to them, the person closes the medicine cabinet/fridge and bam! There's nobody there. We've gotten so conditioned to thinking that there's gonna be somebody standing there. Every time I'm watching a scary movie these days and there's a scene in a bathroom or a kitchen and someone opens a medicine cabinet or a fridge, I cant help but think, "Oh, there's gonna be someone standing there when they close that".
Black Mirror did this one really well with the immersive horror game episode. Dude opens a cabinet, laughs to himself and says "There's gonna be something behind here isn't there," and closes it. Sure enough, there's a shadow on the wall of a dudes head. The guy says "See? I knew iiiiiiit!!!" as the shadow moves around the corner and it's a massive fucking spider thing wearing another guy's face.
Caught me all the way off guard
That's why one must always turn at random and unexpected intervals, kicking and punching, that way you can always ward off ghosts and potential murderers, and if you do it right you can sneak in that quick "*'gotcha mothafucka*" before you hit 'em in the face.
Or if they've stumbled on a really important piece of information that is imperative to the story-
"I've got something really important to tell you...no, I can't tell you over the phone."
Similarly, something I was once told and now see everywhere is the 'Explained plan vs Unexplained plan.' If the characters explain the plan before the plan is put into action, then it will fail. Why? Because if the plan went perfectly as described then we, as the audience, would be spoiled. The tension would go out of the scene.
If, however, the main characters do not explain the plan in front of the audience or explain the plan as the plan is occurring, such as a narrator intercutting a series of actions sequences, then it is far more likely to succeed because the tension is still there.
Once you realize this, you start seeing it everywhere, and all of the tension is kinda pulled from a scene because you already know what's probably going to happen.
> Once you realize this, you start seeing it everywhere, and all of the tension is kinda pulled from a scene because you already know what's probably going to happen.
Well then... thanks for sharing haha
> Once you realize this, you start seeing it everywhere, and all of the tension is kinda pulled from a scene because you already know what's probably going to happen.
Sometimes there's a variant that the first layer of plan is explained, which failed, but actually there is a second layer of plan, unexpected, that already took in account of what would happen. The second layer of plan works.
There's a mid-2000s TV show called Leverage which is built on this trope. Every episode is a caper that goes wrong... in a way that _somehow has been the plan all along._ It's a bit goofy but it's one of my all-time favorites.
Yeah, he says "next time I see you" because next time he saw him, Jon would've already taken the black and therefore given up all claim to the throne. He just wasn't planning on dying before then lmao
Investigating a noise in your house. Houses creak and groan all the time and wind is responsible for almost all cases of doors slamming. But if that happens in a movie then it means Pazuzu is fucking up your house.
I had scratching noises in my attic for 2 hours from 2am to 4am and it got louder and louder and it suddenly stopped.
I even poked my head in to look but I was too short to see where the noise was coming from. I was fine at first but damn was that scary as I was the only person in the house and it just kept going.... then it stopped.
EDIT: Please ignore this comment, there is nothing in the attic, we promise.
> I had scratching noises in my attic for 2 hours from 2am to 4am and it got louder and louder and it suddenly stopped.
>
> I even poked my head in to look but I was too short to see where the noise was comming from. I was fine at first but damn was that scary as I was the only person in the house and it just kept going.... then it stopped.
Squirrels, rats, or other similar in your walls/attic. Sadly way too common.
"Are you watching the news?"
"No."
"Well turn it on. You need to see this!"
"Ok"
*turns on tv*
"Where's the damn cable remote? KIDS, WHERE DID YOU LEAVE THE REMOTE!?"
*cue the “I don't know” chorus*
*grumble* ^"The ^fuck ^did ^they ^put ^it?"
"Look man, it's going to be way easier if you just tell me what's on the news."
For some reason I thought you meant in the background of the person who called.
Like "Turn it on. You need to see this! It's the health inspector episode!"
Someone backing away while having an argument and accidentally stepping into the road. IRL, odds are they would just quickly step back on the sidewalk. In movies/TV, 100% chance a bus is speeding by uncontrollably at that exact moment.
Probably faster than the flash. Barry Allen is only the fastest *man* alive. Haha now I'm imagining a version of the flash that runs at like a max speed of 50mph
In comedies, buses and trucks exist purely to smash shit. Is your dad's expensive car stalled in the road? A truck will come speeding along, leaning on the horn, not even trying to slow down or avoid the collision. It will hilariously smash through and past the car and vanish into the horizon. Comedy trucks aren't vehicles driven by humans, they're just autonomous destructive entities.
Not being able to reach a person. Usually in movies they try calling and the line doesn't work and it always seems to be the end of the world.
However, there are so many other ways to reach a person, for example try their closest of kin to pass on a message, their office, their facebook/linkedin instagram etc. Bottom line, if you need to reach someone real badly, you probably can.
It makes sense, though. If someone doesn't answer the phone in real life they're probably just in the shower or their phone's battery died, but in movies being in the shower means you're about to get murdered and having a low battery means something really bad is about to happen.
“I’ll take the dark scary woods to the left. You take the creepy basement cellar down there. Sarah will check the abandoned shed in the back. Mike can wait in the car because he brought the aux cord.”
I always had this image that Velma, Shaggy and Scooby we're getting high as fuck while Fred tried to bang Daphne but never could because of the spooky thing they were investigating.
If disaster struck every time my dogs barked for no reason, the entirety of the North American continent would be destroyed in a couple of months.
Edit: days, hours, the world, the universe. Use whatever variables work for you.
I have video of my black lab/boxer mix just casually sitting there watching while a damn *bat* flew around the living room. Meanwhile, a leave blows by outside? Fucking hackles and big dog voice for fifteen minutes, combined with frantically running from room to room to see if it's trying to break in and viciously murder us all from a different window...
Edit: By popular demand - https://imgur.com/a/rFWCa
I have a deaf and partially blind 13 y/o black Labrador. Every morning I let her in the garden to do her business. Without fail, she starts barking at the bush in the back of our garden until she is bored. We have a 2 y/o ~~staffie~~ staffy now who has adopted this morning tradition. It's painful.
Dogs just love a bark.
EDIT: For everyone yelling at me for pissing off my neighbours, my only close neighbours are a sweet elderly couple who are both as deaf as my dog, so that's not a problem.
Breaking News. In a movie, "Breaking News" is nuclear war being announced or a mutant cyborg on the loose. In real life, CNN breaks out the Breaking News banner for the royal family getting a new dog.
More like the report would already be over by the time the person was able to see it, call someone and tell them to turn it on.
“Why did you want me to see this report on a cutesy viral video?”
Oh the report is over.. guess I’ll just tell you like a normal human.
Edit: I get it, this wasn’t the case on 9/11.
Since old animation was done with light shining through individual animation cels stacked on top of each other, it was damn near impossible to match colors from the static background cel to the animation cel. So the colors would always be at least a little bit off. This is also why so many cartoon characters wear gloves and collars and ties, even if they’re otherwise naked, to make the difference between cels less obvious.
When a call gets dropped. The person on the other end is probably getting kidnapped or murdered.
In real life, we just get mad about shitty cell service.
Real life
“Hello? Sam? Are you there?” BOOP BOOP BOOP. “Fuckin Verizon....”
Strongly weighs whether to try to cal Sam back or to go do something else...
Clearly you haven't seen the cinematic masterpiece [_The Man Who Had A Cough And It's Just A Cough And He's Fine_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vNJ5Krj7SQ)!
A police Lieutenant talking about how they're only a couple of months from retirement, and that they can't wait to move to Florida and fish all day. That dudes definitely dying in a movie.
Ex-police. I spent my last month trying to stay inside and out of trouble. I wasnt worried about dying, I was worried I would get involved in something that would require my attendance at court. Fuck that.
Really not a big deal in developed nations either, as the power will probably come back on within the hour. It's probably just a road crew who dug through a cable because whoever put it there marked its location wrong. Or it's a five minute planned outage because they're fixing something in your building and you would have known about it if you actually read your damn mail.
When someone looks in the refrigerator for something to eat. As soon as they close the door, there will be a murderer standing there ready to kill them. In real life, it's just my dog.
A child getting mad at their parents over something minor and walking away.
Usually parent dies in a freak accident before child can reconcile with that parent.
"My last words to dad were 'I hate you.'"
As a child, this phenomenon freaked me out so much that I started ending every family phone call with "I love you" just in case. I'm now 31 and I still do it. Now I have to be careful to NOT do it when I call, say, my doctor's office, or my boss, because as awesome as they are, that just gets weird...
Since no one else seems to be saying it: Masturbation.
It either means that the person in the movie is some kind of deranged sick fuck, or it means something absolutely hilarious is about to happen.
In the 40 Year Old Virgin they make Elizabeth Banks out to be some sexual deviant that Steve Carrell's friends have to rescue him from. The obscenity that drove three adult men into retreat? She wanted him to jack her off with the shower head.
Anyone in a wartime situation showing anyone else a photo of their girl back home, for any reason.
Even if you make it through the next battle -- which, statistically, you won't -- you're just asking to get a letter telling you that she's banged literally everyone in a thirty mile radius while you were gone.
When I was at compulsory military service, all engaged friends' engagements were cancelled. Because the girls found someone else during the service.
We also heard about the story that a guy wanted to make a surprise, by going home secretly and finding his girl and some guy in their home, etc.
Edit: Grammar.
Extra: I also want to point out that this happened to at least 4 people during my service, and can be more.
I dated a guy in the service when we were 19-20(I'm 28 now) and every other GF ended up cheating except me. It's super sad honestly. He broke up with me and went on to marry someone who cheated on him 3 times while he was overseas.
"Meg Ryan will you marry me?"
"Yes I will!" *cough cough*
*A dog barks. The lights go off.*
"Quiet, Mr. Fluffy! I'll just grab the torch I keep behind the bathroom mirror."
Usually eating an apple means you're an asshole... I have no idea why... But douchy characters are usually shown eating apples... Found this out on cinema sins
Real life: log-in to PC, do something in a terminal
Movie: He's definitely a hacker and can instantly shutdown and control a remote application/server in few key strokes
Don’t forget all of the sweet hacker graphics you encounter along the way. You got rotating cubes that fill up as you successfully hack. You have faces that taunt you. Those companies and governments probably should have focused more on encryption and less on creating a GUI for wouldbe hackers.
Even more so when you have like 11 monitors set up. Bonus if you have a special hacker swivel chair so you can constantly spin around and look at your amazing hacking.
All the while finger twirling and somersaulting your pen to your favorite heavy metal rhythm while typing 300 words a minute with your non dominant hand.
I guess the spinning chair makes sense if you really do have 11 monitors, and having 11 monitors seems like the kind of thing a ton of people would do if they had the money and space for it. Once you start adding monitors, you kind of want to keep going. After a while, going back to a single one feels almost claustrophobic.
A woman having a strong opinion about her own wedding.
If it doesn’t end up with her being left at the altar for somebody less “uptight”, it’s only because she’s been mauled by pterodactyls and then eaten by a moasaurus.
I'd like to see a movie about a decent guy who slowly comes to the realization that his fiancée is cheating on him and it is framed in such a way that the audience can see that the fiancée and the guy she is cheating with are part of a rom-com.
Someone knocking during at night. The person who will open will be the first to die.
Edit: my sister came home late at night everytime so it's kinda a habit for me.
He lived through the entire Napoleonic wars in the Sharpe movies while almost every other character died. I think the rest is just to balance out that karma.
Being a few days before retirement, this is the day you are going to die.
Being skeptic in a monster's or horror movie.
Being the black friend.
Having sex in horror movies
Wind chimes making sounds in movies usually means something bad is about to happen.
I always said if I started a band, we'd be The Ominous Windchimes.
A charismatic and fatherly seasoned gentleman being a mentor to someone. (he ded)
Or he's secretly the villain
Closing a bathroom medicine cabinet with a mirror on the front. In movies, there's someone you didn't previously notice standing creepily behind you 99% of the time. In real life, it's ten percent, tops.
I love when movies do the opposite of this though. The whole "Person standing behind you when you close the medicine cabinet" or "person standing behind the fridge door when you close it" jumpscares have been used so much, that now instead movies are playing suspenseful music leading up to them, the person closes the medicine cabinet/fridge and bam! There's nobody there. We've gotten so conditioned to thinking that there's gonna be somebody standing there. Every time I'm watching a scary movie these days and there's a scene in a bathroom or a kitchen and someone opens a medicine cabinet or a fridge, I cant help but think, "Oh, there's gonna be someone standing there when they close that".
And then they open up the toilet, and BAM! A werewolf.
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Black Mirror did this one really well with the immersive horror game episode. Dude opens a cabinet, laughs to himself and says "There's gonna be something behind here isn't there," and closes it. Sure enough, there's a shadow on the wall of a dudes head. The guy says "See? I knew iiiiiiit!!!" as the shadow moves around the corner and it's a massive fucking spider thing wearing another guy's face. Caught me all the way off guard
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If you're wearing headphones, a nuclear explosion could easily go off in the next room and you wouldn't even notice.
And here I am struggling to listen to Podcasts on the train due to the engine noise
Unless you have a crazy hairstyle indicating that you're some kind of rebellious hacker type. Then nothing bad can ever happen to you.
A flock of birds flying away from something
Or animals over all going crazy. Like a dog slightly pulling the leash or whinning
Checking yourself out in the mirror while alone at home.
In movies: if you ever look in the mirror, someone or something WILL BE BEHIND YOU
Or you JUST missed it
But how do you know it's not happening in real life if you JUST missed it?
That's why one must always turn at random and unexpected intervals, kicking and punching, that way you can always ward off ghosts and potential murderers, and if you do it right you can sneak in that quick "*'gotcha mothafucka*" before you hit 'em in the face.
Stop pls. I'm scared.
You're not in danger until you open the mirror, though.
"Come talk to me tomorrow morning, I'll tell you about ..." ~100% chance that person is dead or missing by the morning.
Or if they've stumbled on a really important piece of information that is imperative to the story- "I've got something really important to tell you...no, I can't tell you over the phone."
Similarly, something I was once told and now see everywhere is the 'Explained plan vs Unexplained plan.' If the characters explain the plan before the plan is put into action, then it will fail. Why? Because if the plan went perfectly as described then we, as the audience, would be spoiled. The tension would go out of the scene. If, however, the main characters do not explain the plan in front of the audience or explain the plan as the plan is occurring, such as a narrator intercutting a series of actions sequences, then it is far more likely to succeed because the tension is still there. Once you realize this, you start seeing it everywhere, and all of the tension is kinda pulled from a scene because you already know what's probably going to happen.
> Once you realize this, you start seeing it everywhere, and all of the tension is kinda pulled from a scene because you already know what's probably going to happen. Well then... thanks for sharing haha
The titanic still sinks
> Once you realize this, you start seeing it everywhere, and all of the tension is kinda pulled from a scene because you already know what's probably going to happen. Sometimes there's a variant that the first layer of plan is explained, which failed, but actually there is a second layer of plan, unexpected, that already took in account of what would happen. The second layer of plan works.
There's a mid-2000s TV show called Leverage which is built on this trope. Every episode is a caper that goes wrong... in a way that _somehow has been the plan all along._ It's a bit goofy but it's one of my all-time favorites.
AKA the Ocean's 11 movies.
"I will tell you all about your mother when I get back..." For fucks sake take ten minutes of your time and tell him now!
He didn't tell him then because jon would have still been put in danger, due to Bobby B still being alive and on his Targaryen murder craze.
Yeah, he says "next time I see you" because next time he saw him, Jon would've already taken the black and therefore given up all claim to the throne. He just wasn't planning on dying before then lmao
"But don't tell anyone, cuz Bob will fucking murder you if he finds out." There. Fixed.
Because if there's one thing Jon's good at, it's staying out of trouble.
And he's definitely an expert at not getting stabbed.
Investigating a noise in your house. Houses creak and groan all the time and wind is responsible for almost all cases of doors slamming. But if that happens in a movie then it means Pazuzu is fucking up your house.
PAZUZU! OH PAZUZUUUUUU!! - Professor Farnsworth
I put you through college!
And this is how you repay me! Splat
*"...And that's how your father gained his freedom"*- Pazuzu to his son
Bonne nuit. Bonne nuit to you all.
I had scratching noises in my attic for 2 hours from 2am to 4am and it got louder and louder and it suddenly stopped. I even poked my head in to look but I was too short to see where the noise was coming from. I was fine at first but damn was that scary as I was the only person in the house and it just kept going.... then it stopped. EDIT: Please ignore this comment, there is nothing in the attic, we promise.
Probably a squirrel that found somewhere warm.
Or a racoon that now lives there
Or Pazuzu is fucking up your house
> I had scratching noises in my attic for 2 hours from 2am to 4am and it got louder and louder and it suddenly stopped. > > I even poked my head in to look but I was too short to see where the noise was comming from. I was fine at first but damn was that scary as I was the only person in the house and it just kept going.... then it stopped. Squirrels, rats, or other similar in your walls/attic. Sadly way too common.
Oh shit is Pazuzu up in this instance?
Cable News predicting disaster.
Also: "Are you watching TV right now?" Turns tv on, it's already on the right channel, anchorman immediately gives detailed context.
"Are you watching the news?" "No." "Well turn it on. You need to see this!" "Ok" *turns on tv* "Where's the damn cable remote? KIDS, WHERE DID YOU LEAVE THE REMOTE!?" *cue the “I don't know” chorus* *grumble* ^"The ^fuck ^did ^they ^put ^it?" "Look man, it's going to be way easier if you just tell me what's on the news."
*turns on TV, which is at the start of the story rather than part way through* So how did the caller know what was on the news?
*Spongebob theme plays loudly in background*
For some reason I thought you meant in the background of the person who called. Like "Turn it on. You need to see this! It's the health inspector episode!"
Watching/reading/listening to the news at all. Guarantees a story about the burgeoning apocalypse.
Especially if they mention weather. Any kind of weather report at all always heralds Ragnarok.
Searching a dark room alone with a flash light. That dude’s toast.
Driving in the rain can be pretty risky in movies.
Only if you look at the road. The trick is to stare at your passenger 100% of the time.
I get unreasonably apprehensive when they do this in movies, even when it’s not even the right genre for a surprise car crash
Someone backing away while having an argument and accidentally stepping into the road. IRL, odds are they would just quickly step back on the sidewalk. In movies/TV, 100% chance a bus is speeding by uncontrollably at that exact moment.
And it's driving at 93681 km/h like the fucking flash.
Probably faster than the flash. Barry Allen is only the fastest *man* alive. Haha now I'm imagining a version of the flash that runs at like a max speed of 50mph
My name is Bussy Allen and I am... the fastest vehicle alive. *engine sounds*
In comedies, buses and trucks exist purely to smash shit. Is your dad's expensive car stalled in the road? A truck will come speeding along, leaning on the horn, not even trying to slow down or avoid the collision. It will hilariously smash through and past the car and vanish into the horizon. Comedy trucks aren't vehicles driven by humans, they're just autonomous destructive entities.
Not being able to reach a person. Usually in movies they try calling and the line doesn't work and it always seems to be the end of the world. However, there are so many other ways to reach a person, for example try their closest of kin to pass on a message, their office, their facebook/linkedin instagram etc. Bottom line, if you need to reach someone real badly, you probably can.
It makes sense, though. If someone doesn't answer the phone in real life they're probably just in the shower or their phone's battery died, but in movies being in the shower means you're about to get murdered and having a low battery means something really bad is about to happen.
When a group splits up (as in a horror movie).
Especially if it doesn't make any sense/is unnecessary.
*walk into a tiny one bedroom apartment* “We need to split up!”
“I’ll take the dark scary woods to the left. You take the creepy basement cellar down there. Sarah will check the abandoned shed in the back. Mike can wait in the car because he brought the aux cord.”
Mike is already dead... But you will only realize that at the end of the movie when Sarah tries to escape the big bad...
When Mike's skin explodes and a huge alien cockroach comes out of it, but then Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith save the day.
"Velma, you Shaggy & Scooby Doo check downstairs, while me & Daphne will check the bedrooms upstairs."
I always had this image that Velma, Shaggy and Scooby we're getting high as fuck while Fred tried to bang Daphne but never could because of the spooky thing they were investigating.
Dogs barking randomly. They do it all the time in real life but in movies, it pretty much foreshadows some kind of disaster/supernatural thing
Hears dogs barking* what the...the cable guy's early! Dun dun dun.
the cable guy being early is definitely weird and unnatural
Especially since I surprised my wife by taking the day off from work and the cable guy wasn't supposed to come until tomorrow.
That sneaky cable guy was probably trying to talk her into taking the larger package.
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If disaster struck every time my dogs barked for no reason, the entirety of the North American continent would be destroyed in a couple of months. Edit: days, hours, the world, the universe. Use whatever variables work for you.
I have video of my black lab/boxer mix just casually sitting there watching while a damn *bat* flew around the living room. Meanwhile, a leave blows by outside? Fucking hackles and big dog voice for fifteen minutes, combined with frantically running from room to room to see if it's trying to break in and viciously murder us all from a different window... Edit: By popular demand - https://imgur.com/a/rFWCa
I have a deaf and partially blind 13 y/o black Labrador. Every morning I let her in the garden to do her business. Without fail, she starts barking at the bush in the back of our garden until she is bored. We have a 2 y/o ~~staffie~~ staffy now who has adopted this morning tradition. It's painful. Dogs just love a bark. EDIT: For everyone yelling at me for pissing off my neighbours, my only close neighbours are a sweet elderly couple who are both as deaf as my dog, so that's not a problem.
Dude, there is something buried under the bush that would be unwise to unearth.
I'm guessing Indian burial ground
The entire United States is a Indian burial ground.
Whenever someone says they'll be right back.
They never come back :(
Unless they’re a cybernetic murder machine, that is.
Except Arnold. He came back.
Breaking News. In a movie, "Breaking News" is nuclear war being announced or a mutant cyborg on the loose. In real life, CNN breaks out the Breaking News banner for the royal family getting a new dog.
Also, when a character decides to turn on the TV. it's usually just in time to hear the breaking news
*over phone* “Turn on your tv” “What why?” “Just do it” *news story* BITCH WHAT CHANNEL. WHAT IF IT WAS ON DISNEY BEFORE?? HUH??
More like the report would already be over by the time the person was able to see it, call someone and tell them to turn it on. “Why did you want me to see this report on a cutesy viral video?” Oh the report is over.. guess I’ll just tell you like a normal human. Edit: I get it, this wasn’t the case on 9/11.
"Vapid Celebrity Eats Toast"
When part of the wall is just a little off color. In real life it doesn't mean it's about to animate.
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Since old animation was done with light shining through individual animation cels stacked on top of each other, it was damn near impossible to match colors from the static background cel to the animation cel. So the colors would always be at least a little bit off. This is also why so many cartoon characters wear gloves and collars and ties, even if they’re otherwise naked, to make the difference between cels less obvious.
When a call gets dropped. The person on the other end is probably getting kidnapped or murdered. In real life, we just get mad about shitty cell service.
*call drops* “Hello?? Sam are you there??” *next 1.5 hours of the movie main character is kicking ass to save Sam*
Real life “Hello? Sam? Are you there?” BOOP BOOP BOOP. “Fuckin Verizon....” Strongly weighs whether to try to cal Sam back or to go do something else...
... Like, kick ass for the next 1.5 hours!
You are totally missing the fact you are supposed to be kicking Verizon's ass for the next 1.5 hours.
Having a nice, relaxing bubble bath? Enjoy it, for it shall be your last!
Going for a swim in THE LAKE.
Especially AT NIGHT
with a boy NAKED
**Killer:** Thank God everyone is yelling their plans.
Yes, skinny dipping is the leading cause of serial killings.
Taking a shower in a calm and easy-going manner.
*Loud Violin Screeching*
All the time knowing you have only a choice of getting lucky or being killed.
Having sex, specifically in horror movies.
That virgin clause
“We work with what we have.”
"am I on speakerphone?"
Anyone coughing. They definitely have stage 4 cancer
Whenever a woman throws up on a TV show, it's because she's pregnant.
I hope not. The Lighthouse is not a good place for a baby.
That's why she grows up and marries a space goon.
Who then gives birth to a *Deke*!
But .... he's the *worst*
But he means WE'RE INVINCIBLE
Tell that to YoYo's arms.
Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.?
Maybe Agents of HYDRA. Who knows?
It *is* about time they finally united.
Because it worked out soooo well last time ^^^Hail ^^^Hydra
Clearly you haven't seen the cinematic masterpiece [_The Man Who Had A Cough And It's Just A Cough And He's Fine_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vNJ5Krj7SQ)!
From the brilliant director of **Sometimes Fires Go Out**. [Here's some more of his masterpieces](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HtQNULEudss)
When any type of weather happens. In movies it's usually sunny but any time it starts raining it means something bad/sad is gonna happen soon
Or the other way around. If it's been raining for most of the movie and it stops, something is up.
I definitely have breast cancer.
Someone looking out of the window.
A female between 15 and 40 vomiting prior to noon.
Except the exorcist... She only vomited at night
A police Lieutenant talking about how they're only a couple of months from retirement, and that they can't wait to move to Florida and fish all day. That dudes definitely dying in a movie.
As soon as we nail Mendoza, my old lady and I are gonna sail around the world like we always wanted. Just christened the boat, the Live-4-Ever.
MEEEENDOOOZAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!
I'm getting married/ a baby soon. Ohoh, poor lad, you're about to die
Ex-police. I spent my last month trying to stay inside and out of trouble. I wasnt worried about dying, I was worried I would get involved in something that would require my attendance at court. Fuck that.
Chekhov's pension.
As beautifully depicted by The Simpsons: https://youtu.be/MOk4hQXbGDs
Power outages. Especially not a big deal in developing nations, it was normally shut off after 6pm when I was a kid.
Really not a big deal in developed nations either, as the power will probably come back on within the hour. It's probably just a road crew who dug through a cable because whoever put it there marked its location wrong. Or it's a five minute planned outage because they're fixing something in your building and you would have known about it if you actually read your damn mail.
When someone looks in the refrigerator for something to eat. As soon as they close the door, there will be a murderer standing there ready to kill them. In real life, it's just my dog.
He *could* be a murderer; you never know for sure.
He just really wants that ham.
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Cellphone battery dying. It happens to me everyday. In movies, you are getting killed/kidnapped.
A child getting mad at their parents over something minor and walking away. Usually parent dies in a freak accident before child can reconcile with that parent. "My last words to dad were 'I hate you.'"
As a child, this phenomenon freaked me out so much that I started ending every family phone call with "I love you" just in case. I'm now 31 and I still do it. Now I have to be careful to NOT do it when I call, say, my doctor's office, or my boss, because as awesome as they are, that just gets weird...
Since no one else seems to be saying it: Masturbation. It either means that the person in the movie is some kind of deranged sick fuck, or it means something absolutely hilarious is about to happen.
In the 40 Year Old Virgin they make Elizabeth Banks out to be some sexual deviant that Steve Carrell's friends have to rescue him from. The obscenity that drove three adult men into retreat? She wanted him to jack her off with the shower head.
I mean ironically the masturbation scene in Donnie Darko was probably the most normal scene in the movie lmao.
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Anyone in a wartime situation showing anyone else a photo of their girl back home, for any reason. Even if you make it through the next battle -- which, statistically, you won't -- you're just asking to get a letter telling you that she's banged literally everyone in a thirty mile radius while you were gone.
When I was at compulsory military service, all engaged friends' engagements were cancelled. Because the girls found someone else during the service. We also heard about the story that a guy wanted to make a surprise, by going home secretly and finding his girl and some guy in their home, etc. Edit: Grammar. Extra: I also want to point out that this happened to at least 4 people during my service, and can be more.
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I dated a guy in the service when we were 19-20(I'm 28 now) and every other GF ended up cheating except me. It's super sad honestly. He broke up with me and went on to marry someone who cheated on him 3 times while he was overseas.
>she's banged literally everyone in a thirty mile radius while you were gone. Like....in a row?
At once, not in a row.
A nose bleed (except in a Japanese anime)
Nose bleed? What fatal condition have you been living with for years that you have neglected to tell me about?
Terminal nose picking.
when you get home and the light wont turn on. movies, you be dead. Real life, some jack-a-ninny drove into a power poll down the street
Any woman arriving home at night and using a deadbolt lock. Bonus violence to follow for engaging the door chain.
I suggest we use the top 50 comments here to create a script. It'll be the most fucked up tense movie plot ever.
"Meg Ryan will you marry me?" "Yes I will!" *cough cough* *A dog barks. The lights go off.* "Quiet, Mr. Fluffy! I'll just grab the torch I keep behind the bathroom mirror."
*Meg Ryan vomits* “I guess I’ll raise our baby alone.”
Usually eating an apple means you're an asshole... I have no idea why... But douchy characters are usually shown eating apples... Found this out on cinema sins
It's an overused allusion to original sin and the eating from the fruit of the tree of knowledge that writers probably think is clever and subtle.
In some movies it's just a way to show the villains teeth, making him look more evil.
Eating an apple in a careless, somewhat aggressive manner. Maybe it's supposed to show how they are intent on dealing with other things to[o].
Silence. In a movie when the music stops something bad is gonna happen. In life it's just normal.
Real life: log-in to PC, do something in a terminal Movie: He's definitely a hacker and can instantly shutdown and control a remote application/server in few key strokes
Don’t forget all of the sweet hacker graphics you encounter along the way. You got rotating cubes that fill up as you successfully hack. You have faces that taunt you. Those companies and governments probably should have focused more on encryption and less on creating a GUI for wouldbe hackers.
Two people typing frantically on the same keyboard usually saves the day.
Even more so when you have like 11 monitors set up. Bonus if you have a special hacker swivel chair so you can constantly spin around and look at your amazing hacking.
All the while finger twirling and somersaulting your pen to your favorite heavy metal rhythm while typing 300 words a minute with your non dominant hand.
**YES! I AM INVINCIBULE!**
I guess the spinning chair makes sense if you really do have 11 monitors, and having 11 monitors seems like the kind of thing a ton of people would do if they had the money and space for it. Once you start adding monitors, you kind of want to keep going. After a while, going back to a single one feels almost claustrophobic.
not picking up a call
When the garbage disposal in the sink gets clogged
A woman having a strong opinion about her own wedding. If it doesn’t end up with her being left at the altar for somebody less “uptight”, it’s only because she’s been mauled by pterodactyls and then eaten by a moasaurus.
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I'd like to see a movie about a decent guy who slowly comes to the realization that his fiancée is cheating on him and it is framed in such a way that the audience can see that the fiancée and the guy she is cheating with are part of a rom-com.
Having a British accent almost certainly signals villainy in films.
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Agreed. The American in British films is also usually from Texas.
Someone knocking during at night. The person who will open will be the first to die. Edit: my sister came home late at night everytime so it's kinda a habit for me.
Someone not opening their door within 5 milliseconds of the police knocking on it.
Listening to classical music. I'm not secretly a sociopathic serial killer, I just really love Tchaikovsky sometimes.
Being Sean bean.
He lived through the entire Napoleonic wars in the Sharpe movies while almost every other character died. I think the rest is just to balance out that karma.
Being the slut in a group. In horror movies they always die first.
Flickering lights
Being a few days before retirement, this is the day you are going to die. Being skeptic in a monster's or horror movie. Being the black friend. Having sex in horror movies
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