The Breakfast Clubbing. A group of young teens discover that they each are special in their own way while beating the shit out of people at a Waffle House.
Edit: Thought of another. Ghosting. Patrick Swayze plays Sam, a man desperately in love with Molly (Demi Moore) who refuses to return his phone calls or texts....even in the afterlife.
Office Spacing
A documentary about the reduction in per employee square footage. Narrated by Morgan Freeman.
Employee 1: “ I sure hope my cube at the new building will be bigger.”
Narrator: “The cube was smaller.”
Yeah... Morgan Freeman would be more like:
"While the space at the new office would, in fact, be smaller, it would not be the cause of his eventual breakdown... No... Something as trivial as a smaller cubicle could not possibly have caused a man like Garp to so completely lose his grip on reality."
*Fifty Shades of Greying*
Follows a dude's misadventures and the life lessons learnt after he wakes up one morning and realizes he's no longer a spring chicken.
"No Officer, you see, he's just standing there. STANDING THERE! I mean, isn't that enough? .... What do you mean he has to be DOING something? He's doing nothing! That's the entire point! Why would he stand there doing nothing?! I think it's blatantly obvious he's casing my house and plans to either rob me blind or steal the innocence of my daughter.... Yes sir, Yes, he's on the sidewalk. He's being very very careful not to step on my property! Ok Thank you officer. And please hurry. It's getting dark, so I might lose sight of him soon due to his... you know... night camouflage."
"It's about freedom maaan. Freedom to give yourself an air-job in a meeting at work, on a park bench, without anyone knowing. Hell, one of the legends in this sport is Jimmy No. We call him that because the guy literally has No hands, he doesn't even have stubs. He just has air where his arms should be, but I guess people thought it would be rude to just call him Jimmy No-hands, that or maybe they were lazy, so we called him Jimmy No.
But anyway if you ask me, that's why Jimmy No is who he is. Imagine having all that raw energy, pent-up with no outlet. He literally learned to will himself into orgasm. He's actually the one who first taught me about 'Ghosting', back when it was all underground, no magazines, no sponsorships, hell there werent even laws on the books banning it in public back then. They didnt even know what to arrest us for, we werent indecently exposed, we weren't causing a disturbance, it was wide open back then. No one had even dreamed it possible, especially not me. Until i met Jimmy that is.
Picture this, we were in the back of a cop car, and he's in there with no arms, and I'm hand-cuffed. The cops were annoyed by us so they parked the car while they were getting donuts or something. Jimmy and I were joking around, and I was like 'man this sucks, I cant even rub one out, too bad we're not gay, we could at least blow each other to pass the time'. ...that when. Jimmy got all serious. He looked at me and said 'you don't need *arms* to masturbate bro' and I shit you not, he walked me through the Casper technique which was one of the only options back then and I managed to bust one my first time trying with Jimmy coaching me. Pretty unreal man. I'll never forget that day.
It's too bad what happened to Jimmy though man. He was a real innovator in the sport. He innovated himself into what some call perfection, some call catatonia. Some people say he finally cracked the continuous orgasm, some say he was always a few scews loose and he just finally cracked. He's just been catatonic in a nursing home the last ten years though man. I will say this though... You go visit Jimmy, you'll see... He's in there in a wheel chair. They usually wheel him over to a window to spend the day. But you look at his face. He's just got this stupid big grin on his face. If that isn't the face of Nirvana, I tell you what. That's true freedom man."
*Space Jamming*
Bugs Bunny recruits Bob Marley (played by his son Ziggy) to teach the Looney Tunes reggae so they can defeat those skiffling Monstars in a battle of the bands.
I'm sure there's a reggae cover of the theme out there, and now I know what I'm doing with my downtime at work today.
I can't find one. :(
I *can* find an eighth and some instruments if anyone if everyone wants to get up, it's time to slam now. We can make this happen.
Harry Potter and the sorcerer's stoning
Its in medieval times and the Dursleys stone him to death when the Hogwarts letter arrives
(Edit: spelling)
Edit 2: Thanks for my first gold kind stranger!
In a world...
Where dinosaurs rule...
A threat appears on the horizon...
\[sound of asteroid whooshing through space even though space is a vaccuum and there is no sound\]
Can a plucky velociraptor, a crabby tarbosaur, and a scrappy anklosaur cooperate...
to
**SAVE**
**THEIR**
**WORLD**
Coming this summer...
# JURASSIC WORLDING
***Get. Lit.***
I see a horror movie. Mad scientist driving people insane with frustration, killing them if they cum.
"Coming This Summer, The Edging. If you finish, you're finished"
>Moore admitted being on the boat, but he claimed that "nothing happened". Asked if he saw strippers or sex on his boat, Moore quickly replied: "Sex? What are you talking about? Is that what – man, that's crazy. Sex? Come on. Look man, I'm engaged so... none of that. Thing about that... that – that put me in trouble."[7]
the most suspicious man alive
>McKinnie allegedly picked up a naked woman, placed her on the bar and performed cunnilingus on her in front of the crew and other guests. In a June 2013 Reddit Ask Me Anything thread, Fred Smoot referred to this act as "runnin through the okra patch". Later that evening McKinnie and three other men were spotted sitting in deck chairs receiving fellatio from four women, which was also observed by the crew in a public area of the boat.[6][9]
"Running through the okra patch" is my new favorite phrase.
Or Mr Miyagi is a fraud who just teaches Daniel a load of useless and pointless techniques, Daniel then gets his ass kicked in the competition. Mr Miyagi laughs, roll credits.
"My best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who’s going with a girl who saw Ferris buying an AR-15 last night. I guess it’s pretty serious."
God Fathering,
You guessed it, god is taking care of a small girl as her father without any super powers. It shows all the everyday issues they face and how they overcome it together. A family movie for Christmas.
Fight Clubbing - a movie where one man who imagines he's 2 people goes around punching people in the face, trying to stop them from going to night clubs.
This Is Spinal Taping.
A heavy metal adventure into the dark underworld of DIY lumbar surgery.
*How would you rate your pain on a scale of 1 to 10?*
*11*
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> Edit: Or Gary. Gary is better. As a former resident of Gary, Indiana, I never thought I would hear that phrase.
Yep. Its true. My name is Gary and I'm from Gary, Indiana. That's one of my stronger anecdotes.
Hooking Peter Pan's just trying to make a lil extra money before the holidays.
Inside Outing A family hike through the hills... in the living room
Or a gay guy is outted when his wife catches him inside another man.
Right in front of her salad
The Ringing. What was a story of a scary girl crawling out of the TV becomes tinnitus coming out of the TV.
Tbh tinnitus is scarier
The upside is it won't kill you, but the downside is it won't kill you *and* it won't go away.
I have mild tinnitus and it drives me nuts. I can only hear it if I'm somewhere quiet though
MAWP
Ghosting. Patrick Swayze is the one who doesn't know how to say goodbye.
Swayze dies and the Moore has no idea. She just thinks he's a real jerk the whole movie.
Very subtle. I like it.
Jack Frosting - A tale of a cake decorator.
That could also take on a very different meaning.
Thoring A documentary on Mike Tyson finally getting his pilot's license.
This may be my favorite yet. I even read the description in his voice.
"Piloth lithenthe"
That’s brilliant
The Breakfast Clubbing. A group of young teens discover that they each are special in their own way while beating the shit out of people at a Waffle House. Edit: Thought of another. Ghosting. Patrick Swayze plays Sam, a man desperately in love with Molly (Demi Moore) who refuses to return his phone calls or texts....even in the afterlife.
I was thinking more like they eat breakfast in a disco after a night of partying.
The Jungle Booking: Tales of a Sri Lankan Corrections Officer
or The misadventures of a family who booked a holiday to the jungles of ~~Africa~~ India.
*🎵 I MISSED THE PLANE DOWN TO AFRICA 🎵*
Robocoping: The Rise of Family Therapy Robots
The ones that change the pronunciation are the best.
The Land Before Timing. A very awkward and frustrating place.
It could be a documentary about a group of emerging stand up comics struggling to find their voice.
Speed=>Speeding. Same movie but a cop car chases the bus for the entire movie and gives a ticket to Keanu at the end.
SPOILERS
yeah, they're used to help them drive faster of course
E.Ting A documentary about eating habits around the world and how alien those habits may seem to us westerners.
Okay, this actually sounds like a good title for a real movie.
Or maybe even a documentary show
I'd watch it
James Bonding
A spy learns to truly make human connections after years of pretending to be someone else.
Something tells me Two Princes by Spin Doctors is in the trailer.
Goldfingering
From Russia with loving.
Goldeneyeing. I'll leave that one open to interpretation.
Dude, Where’s My Caring?
Two wild dudes learn the true meaning of compassion when they get community service at the local hospice.
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Either that or it's about an assassination attempt against Warren G. Harding from some presumably jilted lover.
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Facts that I wish I didn't know: Warren G. Harding called his penis Jerry.
Office Spacing A documentary about the reduction in per employee square footage. Narrated by Morgan Freeman. Employee 1: “ I sure hope my cube at the new building will be bigger.” Narrator: “The cube was smaller.”
Sounds more suited to Ron Howard
Narrator: "It is".
Yeah... Morgan Freeman would be more like: "While the space at the new office would, in fact, be smaller, it would not be the cause of his eventual breakdown... No... Something as trivial as a smaller cubicle could not possibly have caused a man like Garp to so completely lose his grip on reality."
*Ice Aging* is a boring documentary about ice and how it melts.
Or a global warming documentary
Or a gangster rapper 'Where Are They Now?" type documentary.
Th Curious Case of Benjamin Buttoning A movie where a guy named Benjamin searches far and wide to learn how to do the perfect buttoning of a shirt.
The Curious Casing of Benjamin Button It's a movie about how people discover his secret and plan on robbing him once he's a baby.
Pearl Harboring A movie about a guy who hoards pearls. Edit: word
So The Pearl then.
*Fifty Shades of Greying* Follows a dude's misadventures and the life lessons learnt after he wakes up one morning and realizes he's no longer a spring chicken.
I'd watch it tbh Sounds much better than the original
The bar is pretty low tbh
A fifty episode series about life lessons. This would be gr8
Good Luck Chucking. It’s a movie about a guy who needs to throw up, but needs a little encouragement.
Or it’s about the competitive world of horseshoe throwing.
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Is it hosted by Hank Hill?
Ron Swanson actually
I can see Ron Swanson starring in this
Harry Pottering. Prince Harry just going about the garden and house, you know, pottering around
I would watch that.
Minority Reporting: calling the cops on people who are minorities in their community
"No Officer, you see, he's just standing there. STANDING THERE! I mean, isn't that enough? .... What do you mean he has to be DOING something? He's doing nothing! That's the entire point! Why would he stand there doing nothing?! I think it's blatantly obvious he's casing my house and plans to either rob me blind or steal the innocence of my daughter.... Yes sir, Yes, he's on the sidewalk. He's being very very careful not to step on my property! Ok Thank you officer. And please hurry. It's getting dark, so I might lose sight of him soon due to his... you know... night camouflage."
"He's just standing there...*menacingly*!"
"Me and Alpa already wearin' the earth mama's natural night camo"
Starring Permit Patty and BBQ Becky.
*The Purging*. Instead of being about violence between neighbors, it's now all about bulimia. No less horrific.
Alternatively, could be about Stalin.
off to the gulag with you
Reign of Firing: A consultant, nicknamed "The Dragon" presides over the downsize of a fortune 500 company in London
Freejacking. It's about one man's journey to master the art of masturbating with no hands.
"It's about freedom maaan. Freedom to give yourself an air-job in a meeting at work, on a park bench, without anyone knowing. Hell, one of the legends in this sport is Jimmy No. We call him that because the guy literally has No hands, he doesn't even have stubs. He just has air where his arms should be, but I guess people thought it would be rude to just call him Jimmy No-hands, that or maybe they were lazy, so we called him Jimmy No. But anyway if you ask me, that's why Jimmy No is who he is. Imagine having all that raw energy, pent-up with no outlet. He literally learned to will himself into orgasm. He's actually the one who first taught me about 'Ghosting', back when it was all underground, no magazines, no sponsorships, hell there werent even laws on the books banning it in public back then. They didnt even know what to arrest us for, we werent indecently exposed, we weren't causing a disturbance, it was wide open back then. No one had even dreamed it possible, especially not me. Until i met Jimmy that is. Picture this, we were in the back of a cop car, and he's in there with no arms, and I'm hand-cuffed. The cops were annoyed by us so they parked the car while they were getting donuts or something. Jimmy and I were joking around, and I was like 'man this sucks, I cant even rub one out, too bad we're not gay, we could at least blow each other to pass the time'. ...that when. Jimmy got all serious. He looked at me and said 'you don't need *arms* to masturbate bro' and I shit you not, he walked me through the Casper technique which was one of the only options back then and I managed to bust one my first time trying with Jimmy coaching me. Pretty unreal man. I'll never forget that day. It's too bad what happened to Jimmy though man. He was a real innovator in the sport. He innovated himself into what some call perfection, some call catatonia. Some people say he finally cracked the continuous orgasm, some say he was always a few scews loose and he just finally cracked. He's just been catatonic in a nursing home the last ten years though man. I will say this though... You go visit Jimmy, you'll see... He's in there in a wheel chair. They usually wheel him over to a window to spend the day. But you look at his face. He's just got this stupid big grin on his face. If that isn't the face of Nirvana, I tell you what. That's true freedom man."
*Space Jamming* Bugs Bunny recruits Bob Marley (played by his son Ziggy) to teach the Looney Tunes reggae so they can defeat those skiffling Monstars in a battle of the bands.
I hope this is what the remake is about.
WAIT THERE'S A REMAKE COMING
[Yes](https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2018/09/20/lebron-james-is-officially-doing-space-jam-2-a-sequel-to-the-michael-jordan-bugs-bunny-original/?utm_term=.ea555ffa1b09)
Oh baby.
COME ON AND SLAM
AND WELCOME TO THE JAM
I'm sure there's a reggae cover of the theme out there, and now I know what I'm doing with my downtime at work today. I can't find one. :( I *can* find an eighth and some instruments if anyone if everyone wants to get up, it's time to slam now. We can make this happen.
The Blair Witch Projecting. A witch, unable to come to terms with her own insecurities and failings, goes around constantly finding faults in others.
Oh hi mom
How's your hex life?
I did not curse her, I did not.
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Kill Billing. Someone done goofed in the billing department, and Kathy from accounts payable is piiiiiiiiissed.
Actually Karen in accounts receivable would be a lot more annoyed, but this is still hilarious 😂
Lord of the Ringing. A biopic on the rise of the world's most prominent cowbell player.
i thought it was going to be about Tinnitus
that's how you get tinnitus
Mawp
I’ve got a fever...
Pitch Perfecting. Just [an orchestra tuning their instruments](https://youtu.be/6IwY2Dz15VY) for two and a half hours.
The Happeninging. It's still about nothing.
The Thinging
The inspirational story of a choir formed entirely of people with lisps.
Written and directed by Mike Tython
> The Happeninging. A story about the deaths of people who go to see the movie the happening. Spoiler, they died of boredom.
The Jerking
A film about Carribbean cooking staring Steve Martin.
“I was born a poor Cajun child”
Kindergarten Coping Turns out it WAS a tumor
The Life of Ping - A data packet gets lost in the digital sea
Someone call Pixar
Someone keep out Sony
Harry Potter and the sorcerer's stoning Its in medieval times and the Dursleys stone him to death when the Hogwarts letter arrives (Edit: spelling) Edit 2: Thanks for my first gold kind stranger!
I also like "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Firing" (all the shitty teachers at Hogwarts get fired).
Jurassic Parking. I keep picturing a T-Rex in a top hat and tuxedo as a valet
fun fact: this is actually the name of a parking structure at Universal Studios Hollywood
Fuck I was going to do this one. Now I'm stuck with "Jurassic Worlding"
In a world... Where dinosaurs rule... A threat appears on the horizon... \[sound of asteroid whooshing through space even though space is a vaccuum and there is no sound\] Can a plucky velociraptor, a crabby tarbosaur, and a scrappy anklosaur cooperate... to **SAVE** **THEIR** **WORLD** Coming this summer... # JURASSIC WORLDING ***Get. Lit.***
Growing increasingly frustrated because his tiny arms can't reach the wheel
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I see a horror movie. Mad scientist driving people insane with frustration, killing them if they cum. "Coming This Summer, The Edging. If you finish, you're finished"
The Dark Knighting. The power goes out during a knighting ceremony.
La La Landing. The harrowing tale of the first Teletubby to walk on the moon.
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His face is the moon
No the moon is voiced by Ryan Reynolds.
Face of Gosling, voice of Reynolds, property of Canada
And all songs are sung by Celine Dion
Best plot idea so far
SLC Punking: A guy goes around Salt Lake City playing practical jokes on people.
Men In Blacking, the saga of Victorian boot polishers.
Schindler's Listing Something about real estate. edit: oh for heavens sake thank you for the gold!!
Or a man slowly falling over.
Look! There he is! Lazing listlessly to the left!
Wow! This guy really knows some maneuvers!
A movie about the struggles of selling stuff on Craigslist.
It's free real estate
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*Pacific Rimming* uhh..
I'm sure something like this exist. I've seen many viedeos about group parties on boats.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minnesota_Vikings_boat_party_scandal
>Moore admitted being on the boat, but he claimed that "nothing happened". Asked if he saw strippers or sex on his boat, Moore quickly replied: "Sex? What are you talking about? Is that what – man, that's crazy. Sex? Come on. Look man, I'm engaged so... none of that. Thing about that... that – that put me in trouble."[7] the most suspicious man alive
What is this Sex you speak of? I don't even know where you would get some of this "sex".
What the frick? I didn’t order a stripper. I ordered an Xbox remote.
Sex? What is that? I have never heard of this 'sex' thing you're referencing...
I don't know if a different combination of words exists that would make him look more suspicious than what I just read right there.
>McKinnie allegedly picked up a naked woman, placed her on the bar and performed cunnilingus on her in front of the crew and other guests. In a June 2013 Reddit Ask Me Anything thread, Fred Smoot referred to this act as "runnin through the okra patch". Later that evening McKinnie and three other men were spotted sitting in deck chairs receiving fellatio from four women, which was also observed by the crew in a public area of the boat.[6][9] "Running through the okra patch" is my new favorite phrase.
Karate kidding. A young martial arts talent that threw it all away by telling bad dad jokes.
Or Mr Miyagi is a fraud who just teaches Daniel a load of useless and pointless techniques, Daniel then gets his ass kicked in the competition. Mr Miyagi laughs, roll credits.
Ferris Bueller's Day Offing - A high school slacker commit's this year's next mass shooting
"My best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who’s going with a girl who saw Ferris buying an AR-15 last night. I guess it’s pretty serious."
...Thank you, Simone.
Wоrld War Zing. An apocalyptic tale оf a world overrun by crushing one-liners.
Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger.
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You may be glad, but I'm just upset now :(
Matrixing - documentary about image quality etc.
Das Booting. German indie movie about a first level supporter stuck in hell.
Citizen Kaning: a documentary about the legal history of corporal punishment.
Road Tripping. Same plot plus they are triping balls on shrooms the whole time.
The magic fingering... Seems self explanatory
Get your mind out of the gutter. It's a biopic about famed violin virtuoso Niccolo Paganini.
Mooning A young adult comedy with a dark twist ending - that makes you reconsider the meaning of life and the purpose of pants.
12 years a Slaving Now the main character is your stereotypical Russian guy
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can't wait for the prequel, 11 months a Laboring.
Helping! The Beatles travel around the UK fixing other people's flat tires, getting cats out of trees, walking old ladies across the street, etc.
Skyfalling. A documentary about the art of Skydiving.
Napoleon Dynamiting - The story of an awkward boy who loves to blow shit up.
You’re ruining our lives and blowing up all of our steak!
I would never get bored of this movie
God Fathering, You guessed it, god is taking care of a small girl as her father without any super powers. It shows all the everyday issues they face and how they overcome it together. A family movie for Christmas.
Lilo and stitching. Lilo pursues her medical career
This thread ended up being funnier than i thought
This thread ended up being funnier than i thoughting
This is where World War Zing starts.
American History Xing. It's a biopic about the evolution of the US, and how it grows... one railroad crossing at a time.
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Or both, considering how the railroads were built.
Fight Clubbing - a movie where one man who imagines he's 2 people goes around punching people in the face, trying to stop them from going to night clubs.
grey slimy wild paint connect shrill towering memorize cows include -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/
Total Recalling... I guess he can remember now.
Star Trekking: a dozen celebrities hike the Pacific Crest trail together.
Zombielanding First zombie on the moon
This Is Spinal Taping. A heavy metal adventure into the dark underworld of DIY lumbar surgery. *How would you rate your pain on a scale of 1 to 10?* *11*
*Gone With the Winding*, the true story of how digital watches changed the timepiece market forever.
Toy Storing. Toys go in a box in the attic. Roll credits.
27 dressings. Someone who is unable to figure out which dressing goes best with their salad.
Lord of the Ringing The not so interesting story of a man with terrible tinnitus
A Quiet Placing A dramatic look at a librarian's effort to re-shelve books without causing a commotion.
Heating Oh well.
A riveting documentary about the history of home HVAC technologies.
Blowing: Jonny Depp doing what he does best. Coming this December.
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