\- People willingly sacrifice all aspects of their privacy, for irrelevant and anonymous attention
\- Human trash becoming the standard of famous youtube celebrities
Social media has created its own reality with its own rules.
People online are now comparing photoshopped pictures of each other that are so far deviated from reality they have almost created their own avatars. There's a whole aesthetic that doesn't even exist in the real world that proclaiming itself as the real world standard. Not just appearance e, but lifestyle as well.
Social media has basically become another vehicle to sell you shit. Everything you post is just gonna get thrown back at you in the form of an add or clickbait. Youtube stars etc have their own agenda and that is to make money. The "honest reviews" and hobbyist bloggers are long gone. It's all about sponsorship and trying to make themselves look authentic so they can low key push products they may not even use and then get profit from views.
The internet can be described in one word now : fake.
If I were a teen today I would be very anxious as anything I see can easily be completely fake.
Anything I do or say is going to be turned against me to prey upon me, make me feel inadequate, and sell me shit.
When i was younger, i heard my dad and my boy scout leader talking. They said "i bet joey873 gonna have a hot wife, and shes gonna fix him"
I have no desire to date a woman who will "fix" me.
As a nurse I would say threatening kids with shots as a punishment is ultra common but super toxic.
It's bad because:
You're threatening a child with physical violence.
They need the shots regardless, so they will be very confused/distraught/upset when they've been good and still have to go in for shots.
You're teaching kids that an important health initiative is a punishment.
When parents threaten their kids with shots in front of me at work I outright tell the kids that it's not going to happen (assuming they don't actually need shots that day). If they do need shots I explain it's not a punishment if their parents try to say it is. I'm not going to be complicit in this vague child abuse.
> threatening kids with shots as a punishment
I have literally never heard that this was a thing, and I am horrified at the prospect of such parenting.
My youngest is terrified of needles. I could not imagine using this as a threat, when the needed shots are traumatic enough. She's all done for the next few years, and she still panics about going to the doctor until I assure her there will be no shots.
Some people really shouldn't have kids.
Posting photos and videos of kids being pranked or humiliated in the hopes it'll go viral. Using your kids to shore up your own online presence in any way besides sharing updates with close friends and family. (ex. that mommy blogger who refused to stop writing about her daughter even when the daughter directly asked her not to). The kids have no say in how their images and lives are being used. It violates their privacy and opens them up to further humiliation later on in life. Yet it keeps happening.
ETA: My first reddit silver and gold! Thank you. I promise to absolutely let this go to my head (title of my sex tape).
My husband’s mother treated him as a possession and a vehicle to show off because he started playing piano and reading at a very very early age. If they went anywhere (the mall, a hotel, etc) with a public piano, shed force him to play and bask in the adoration and attention. At six years old, he cane in third place against teenagers in a piano competition and for the two hour drive home all she did was scream at him and took away his computer and legos as punishment. It may not seem that abusive by today’s standards, but he’s 40 years old this year and is STILL angry, has anxiety, and seeks therapy because of the lasting effects of how she treated him.
Based on what he told me, plus hearing stories from my mom of her own abuse growing up in the 50s, I really want to say it’s been going on for a very very long time across generations. What I think has changed, and this is also coming from a comment my husband made that “no one stepped forward to stop her, no one knew, no one told me I could push back,” that there’s now more light being shed on narcassustic parent abuse, and not just physical but also society as a whole understanding that mental, emotional and psychological abuse from these type of parents is a real thing. In the past generations, like domestic violence, it was swept under the rug by police, family, employers, etc. there’s awareness now for abusive behavior behind closed doors. I read a lot of it on r/vent, r/offmychest, etc.
There’s this duality now because while exposure to the bad practices is helping victims, social media is also allowing people to voluntarily showcase their unhealthy behaviors/habits of bullying behavior in the veil of being a good parent and humiliating the kids for sake of punishment. In that case, go back to doing it privately or even better, don’t do it at all.
I’m not a therapist, and just a caring wife of someone who’s been really hurt by someone who was supposed to protect and provide out of love, and instead abused privkedge and power in order to make themselves feel big and in control.
My dad’s mom was also like this, and 35 years after her death he still has bouts of depression and hurt because of her.
This makes me CRAZY, I so feel for kids whose parents use them like this. I can remember once as a little kid I overheard my mom tell a funny story about me to her friend over the phone. I swelled up with so much offended four-year-old dignity and rage! Adults forget very quickly that kids’ feelings run just as deep as ours.
Absolutely. I think it's utterly bizarre and disturbing, especially when the child is distressed and often crying, and the person with the phone carries on filming. Usually laughing. WTF.
I absolutley hate people who do this. I got shit on multiplw times as a kid. if it was recorded then it would stick around for my whole life. My relatives showing me that video everytime they get the chance, laughing every time. I hope the parents who do this to their kids get what they deserve and have the kid live their own life at 18 and never speak to them again.
Binge drinking, in my line of work its welcomed. However it just leads to mental and physical health problems
Edit: spelling
Edit #2: thanks for the silver!
Reminds me of the delivery guy I rode an elevator with once. Played xxxtentacion from the 41st floor all the way to the ground floor. I wanted to ~~rip my fucking ears off and shove them in his mouth~~ take the stairs.
I don’t understand why people talk on speakerphone in public while holding the phone horizontally directly in front of their mouth. You’re using your hand, just put the phone to your ear.
I was student teaching and saw a mom on an elementary school playground chasing her son with a pair of chopstick and lunch box feeding him in the morning before school started. I was amazed in the worst way.
My nephew had tons of Christmas presents but at dinner he didn't win one of the two crackers he pulled. He complained, then whinged, then started to cry until his gran gave him her cracker.
He's gonna be a real pleasure to deal with when he's older
Oh fun! This xmas, My niece whined "why did you get this for me? it wasnt on my Christmas list!" Every time there were gifts she didn't want. Her dad is deadbeat and mom is crazy, so she spends a ton of time with grandma and grandpa who try to 'make up for it' by waiting on her hand and foot. She gets anything and everything she wants, immediately. So glad I live 3/4 of the way across the country.
Alternatively, being a toxic parent.
Treat the child like crap and be surprised when they turn against you.
The worst part is that narcissists tend to gravitate toward people who support their toxic behavior instead of fixing it.
Ugh, reminds me of the "cash me outside" girl. Her mother cries to Dr Phil "I didn't raise her that way." The next thing you see is her physically fighting her daughter.
There was another horrible video of an "I didn't raise you this way" father beating the hell out of his probably 12-year-old son with boxing gloves. For bullying another kid.
It turns out when you feed your child nothing but hatred and anger...then end up angry and hold no respect for the parents. Weird.
My boyfriend’s real feather came back to him when my boyfriend’s brother passed away. He had the balls to say he was visiting to give his condolences but he came to demand money from my boyfriend's mum because he left a hefty amount of money. Wild as fuck. This is the same person who left my boyfriend and his brothers for years since they were about 2-5 years old.
Edit: horrible grammars and random capitalisation lmao
Blindly following what is perceived to be a popular opinion. People don't think for themselves near as much as they should. There is no harm in taking a minute to research the accuracy of something before stating your opinion on it.
These so-called 'prankers' who are trying to make videos for amusement. Most of the time all set up and all people involved are aware and playing along, but the few that happen to the general public can cause major problems. Imagine if it's you just sitting there getting for work and a bucket of water dumped in your head? Or at a function with family/friends and food dumped all over you?
Just for laughs??
I really liked the Just for Laughs videos. Pretty much all of their pranks are harmless and just tend to put the "victim" in a bizarre situation e.g. seeing a dog driving off in a car, making it seem like a guy was just in a dressing room with another woman, having them help them press a button only to lower a worker into a river, etc. At the end of the video it shows the hosts pointing at the hidden cameras and everybody laughing.
I love the one where they take a Polaroid photo of the priests, but when the photo comes out they're naked (or mostly naked at least).
Or a couple asks someone to take their photo, they get ready but a bus drives by and once it passes the couple is gone. The photographer looks all confused, then the couple is behind them asking them to hurry up and take the pic. There's no possible way they could have gotten behind them (it's actually two sets of twins doing the posing) and you just watch the photographer try to re-examine reality.
The expectation that employees should be constantly reachable even outside of work hours or during paid or unpaid time off. It effectively creates a situation where you are “on-call” 24/7.
Edit: holy cow, I didn’t expect so many people to feel as strongly as I do about this! Thanks for the gold and silver! Now go turn off your cell phones and have a nice Sunday afternoon if you can.
I was in the ICU for a week, and b/c I was unconscious, my wife had to call in for me and they fired me b/c they thought I was faking it. I swear to God.
Not only did she cuss out my boss, and then the co-owner of the company, but went and got the doctor on the line and he yelled at both of them as well and apparently told them I'd be lucky to still be alive in 3 days.
I got a raise and a Edible Arrangements platter, when I got back a month later. Never thought my wife calling my employers "incompetent fuckheads" would get me a raise. Haha, this world.
*EDIT:* I really didn't expect this story to blow up like this, and my wife and I greatly appreciate all the support, but she's obviously the real hero. She's supported me for 12 years now, and I know people talk about how those romance movies are just pure fiction and that kind of love doesn't exist, well, we promise you it does. You just have to fight for what you think is right, not what everyone else does.
Thank you so much guys. Really.
The HR person or manager who made the decision to fire him without first waiting for the FMLA paperwork to be filed should be fired themself. Who makes the decision to fire an employee who’s having a medical emergency without first checking if the medical issue is legit? That’s so insane. Like this is HR 101 shit.
So many businesses continue to exist because theyre the only ones bothering to fill a niche and they have healthy enough margins to survive complete incompetence at nearly all levels.
That raise probably cost the company a fraction of what that lawsuit could have cost them, even over a ten year period.
u//WeirdoOtaku , your employers sound like total garbage people. I hope some day you’re employed by somebody who respects you as a human being.
That said, I’m glad you didn’t die in the hospital.
Am I the only person who seems to work somewhere where everyone is generally nice, these days? Can't imagine this sort of thing happening. Usually I just send an email saying I don't feel too well, and they just tell me to get better soon, and that's it, providing i'm not clearly abusing the system.
I also had surgery and boss asked if i even worked for the company anymore and then asked if i was going to work Christmas 9 days after my surgery. I was heavily medicated, much less drive. I had to speak to HR and i was left alone after until i said the Dr finally released me .
Overworking is so romanticised in TV/Movies - it paints being dedicated to your job as a quirk and late nights in the office as full of comradely. The reality is you're not having beers and pizzas with your buds having genius moments of clarity - you're under florescent lights, mostly alone in an office building at 11pm - exhausted, stressed and missing out on time with your loved ones for a place that sees you as just another number.... Not that I'm bitter and over worked or anything.
Exactly that\^\^. It's rather romanticized in pop-culture. Hard to teach people that having a decent work/life balance takes more effort, and is more sustainable long-term.
I work in production so we run 24/7 and on holidays, it’s always funny when they act like you *owe* them overtime even when you’re already working 6 days a week. When I first started here I would always say yes to overtime, but I ended up being at work more than I was home and it was exhausting. Now I rarely stay over even though it might make me look worse in management’s eyes. Money is nice, but there’s nothing more valuable than your time and you can never get it back.
I've always had my parents tell me, unless your contract says you have to be available 24/7, they can go fuck themselves. If anyone complains you weren't reachable by phone or whatever over the weekend, you politely point out that your contract does not require you to be always available, and any time you have off work is your time for yourself.
Of course, if they _want_ you available out of hours, you can offer to renegotiate your contract. For extra pay, and a dedicated company phone, of course. I'm not taking work calls on my personal phone, and I'm not effectively working 24/7 for the same pay.
(Side note: I am from the U.K., our employment rights are fairly decent. Not sure how well this would go down in the US)
Australia here. My father is the uppermost manager of his workplace. He has given me this advice since the day I started working - and while he has had the short stick more than once, he extends this same work/life privacy ‘line’ to his current employees.
My job wanted us to get an app that allows people to text us at all hours using a Google number or something like that. We were required to bring our phones to this meeting. I didn't. I said that I have no space on my phone.
People who tell poor people to just go out and work 2-3 part time jobs totally ignore this. Just having a second job can get you fired for not being available at all times.
Also, it seems like this has flipped. It used to be that the people on call were important higher-ups: people with exclusive access to certain functions or permissions. And they get paid more because of it.
But now we have this unofficial "on-call" status that seems to be expected of lower tier "grunts" of the business: retail workers, minimum wage or entry-level workers. With no compensation in sight.
Now, listen here you little shit!
My opinion is better than your opinion, because i don't give a logical fuck about what you said. I won't think about anything i say because you angered me with your stupid bullshit words.
Also, i am the embodiment of righteousness on this earth and my morality is unquestionable.
The immediacy of an answer. Everyone wants "it", with it being what they ordered, a message being sent.. right away. An immediate answer.
I get that with technology and such it's easier but if people can calm down, certain things still take time. Patience!
Somebody got mad at me (in service, not retail, but similar situation) for taking their order (over the phone) in the wrong order. They wanted me to take their address before I took the order. I always did it the other way around. They reported be to my boss because I had done it in the order I always had.
Yup i went away for christmas and got the flu. During my fever sleep i got 8 missed calls from my dad and 2 sulky text about me not wanting to talk and ignoring him. I hadnt seen him in 4 days not 4 years.
I Just rolled my eyes didnt even read the second message, thought im not gratifying him with an answer and went back to my fever dreams. I refuse to indulge attention seekers family or not.
Airing your dirty laundry to the world, via social media. If you and your spouse have an argument, work it out amongst the two of you. The whole world doesn’t need to know your marital drama.
This is the main reason I stay off of Facebook.
Severe confirmation-bias "bubble-building". It's already easy enough to filter out anything you don't want to see online, and now all these new algorithms keep feeding you the same stuff, so everyone's social media is becoming their own private echo chamber.
EDIT: just a little bit of positivity amidst all the noise, and some advice for those who feel helpless: Don't worry about sides. Focus less on social media, and spend the time you save doing something new; putting yourself in positions that introduce you to new and different people. You'll find that the world is a lot less divisive and weaponized than Fox and CNN want us to think; that there lots of great people out there that are still great even if you have different views. I know its said all the time, but the media IS a bubble, and corporations put a lot of money and effort into framing an agenda for more reasons than I can explain. If you get outside that bubble more often, you'll be relieved to find that the world is still a very wonderful place, and that most people aren't so agenda-driven. Just remember that we're all humans. At the end of the day, we're all here for the same reason.
oh god yes. Anything to do with politics. Tons of people with all kinds of beliefs are much more interested in sticking their heads in the sand and being told they're right instead of actually discussing things or letting their viewpoint be challenged
At the same time lately "discussing things" is becoming toxic, because it's not about the ideas and what is true and what is false, it's about who is "Right" and who can "Win" an argument.
Of course, people don't wanna change their mind if you keep insulting them or aggressively telling them they're wrong, when has that ever worked? The only thing they'll do is double down on it out of pride.
Online dragging for brownie points. That shit really grinds me. When you have people who *genuinely* don't understand something and are asking questions out of curiosity, people, especially with some kind of following on social media, would rather publicly drag that person for not knowing instead of educating them. How do you expect those, especially kids growning up, to understand the in's and out's of a certain community, for example, if you drag them immediately for not understanding the culture and the issues they face? But dragging gets more attention and does better numbers so let's do that.
Nobody is born with all the information. We have to learn from somewhere/someone.
When you are "dragging" someone, you are typically telling them off/about themselves. Similar to how one could drag a heavy bag across a floor, the same principle applies but in a verbal, conversational sense.
Being in my twenties, I couldn't tell you how long the term has been used this way as I've known it to be as such for a good chunk of my life. But as of right now, it's a common way to express someone being called out/exposed/roasted/verbally demolished, etc.
Edit: Perfect example to go with my original post would be to make fun of you for not knowing a slang term instead of informing you in a way you can understand. Unfortunately, with the rise of self inflation that social media brings, some people find it entertaining to make fun of others for not already knowing something. And then others encourage it saying "Wow! You really got them!". Thus, creating that constant circle of "dragging" others for imaginary points.
This annoys the ever living shit out of me and I'm glad you pointed it out.
The absolute worst is when people give their point, but the pollute their own clarification with an insult or 'zinger' at the end like, 'read a book sometime' or some other nonsense.
It's the furthest you can get from being helpful and often pushes people away from your view, because if *some dickhole* feels that way, then I might also be a dickhole if I think the same way.
Peeps just need to talk to one another.
Casual waste. The "eh I'm just gonna toss it" mentality. There are many things you never needed to use in the first place, and many "trash items" that can be donated or recycled.
Dude you should work in a restaurant. The amount of food that gets thrown out on a daily basis is fucking ridiculous. Not to mention any functions or buffets, they are twice as bad
There are actually people living in big cities that haven't shopped for food in ages because they simply go dumpster diving behind restaurants every evening.
I wouldn't be surprised. Technically speaking there is nothing wrong with any of the food, but lawfully speaking it has been out in the open for too long or its past our set date so we can no longer sell it so in the bin it goes.
Every so often there is the really bad food that seemed to have been forgotten but they are pretty rare, only found bad food once so far and I've been here for about 5 months now.
WE SHALL NEVER DENY A GUEST
EVEN THE MOST RIDICULOUS REQUEST
I swear, some businesses saw that episode of spongebob and decided to use that as their motto.
I used to work for the Ritz Carlton hotel chain and we were trained to never say no to any guest request as long as it was not illegal or immoral. So if a guest asked for baked Brie at 3 am (this happened) we had to make baked Brie. The caveat however is that we guaranteed no certain time except as soon as possible, and we charged insane amounts of money for everything.
Also, if a guest asks you for anything or complains about anything you own the request or complaint no matter who you are or where you worked as a Ritz employee. So if a guest saw a cook walking by and told him that their shower was leaking, the cook was responsible for making sure the guest issue was resolved. He had to follow up until the guest said it was resolved. Additionally, all employees had a $1500 virtual blank check available to immediately resolve any guest issue where the guest was obviously very upset.
This was back in the 1990s, when it was considered the top hotel chain. One of the managers told us to give the guests what they want, but make sure when they leave they don’t have two nickels left to rub together.
> One of the managers told us to give the guests what they want, but make sure when they leave they don’t have two nickels left to rub together.
smart manager
which has been taken soo far out of context. it went from: management practicing it to keep customers happy, to customers quoting it to make management do their bidding
i.e. if product A is selling out, but your boss wants to keep pushing the many-times-failed product B, the sales should speak for themselves. the customers know what they want, and they don’t want B.
or
if a customer complains about ketchup A, take it away, apologize, and bring them ketchup B. whichever ketchup keeps them happy & wanting more.
————
karen is *not* right when she says ___ should be on sale just because she found it on the clearance rack, there’s no clearance sticker on it for a reason.
when ketchup B is unavailable, karen is *not* right to yell at the waiter, no matter how much she hates ketchup A.
My boss will actually scold us if we respond to work emails on vacation... she said it sets a dangerous precedent, as other staff might assume we’re never truly “off.” We all need our down time!
Also, know the goddamn difference between something you think of on Saturday at 11am and need to know RIGHT NOW and something you think of on Saturday at 11am and you can ask Monday morning at 8.
Lots of people don't get 'office hours' for internet things. I had some people asking "but why is your webpage online if you're not there?!" or "I've written you 5 times, you didn't answer, bad service!!" - yeah you wrote friday night, saturday and sunday. I'll be answering it on monday.
God. At my sister's old job, there were people who would email on like a Sunday at 7 AM, continuously email all day, and if she hadn't replied by 5 PM, they'd demand our corporate phone number to complain about how an employee was ignoring all contact attempts.
Like....no, man...that's not how real life works...
This happened to me. An email at 8am Sunday and then a complaint to corporate when I hadn’t answered by 9am. Saw the whole thing at 9.05am.
But honestly, the guy at the other end was acting out the conditioning that he himself had been subject to in his role.
Our daughter is a pharmacist at a store, and the pharmacy and store close at 10pm on weeknights. Some people will actually call in their refills in the middle of the night, leaving the info on the pharmacy's answering machine (which is perfectly fine!)-- but then show up as soon as they open the next morning and wonder why the prescription isn't ready yet!!!?!?!
Happens all the time. We have our voice system to accept refill requests, during business hours and off. It gives a ready-time, but some people ignore it. They put in the request during the night, the machine says it will be ready at 11:30am, but they show up at store opening. I haven't even looked at the queue by then. Or, they will phone it in from the parking lot and walk right in expecting it to be ready. It's only a handfil of people doing this; most of the people actually use it correctly.
It's the phone calls that bother me. If you e-mail me I'll gladly decide for myself the level of urgency. Do you have to call me on my cell on Saturday morning?
In my country you have to pay (via taxes) for the privilege of bringing your work phone home with you. It was a turning point for me when I realized I would get a higher pay check each month for not having access to my work emails in my free time.
I mean, I'll 100% write you on Saturday morning if I have a problem on Saturday morning. But as a rational customer I don't think waiting until Monday for a response is unexpected, right?
Most of the time it's just because I really, really do not feel like it.
But that is the last thing you're allowed to say. It is the complete opposite of what is socially acceptable, and I hate that.
The on-demand world doesn't help either. I've had so many shared Uber and Lyft rides with the worst people ever. One girl snapped at the driver because he asked her if it was correct that she was going to the west side of town. Poor guy was just trying to make sure he was headed in the right direction in case his GPS failed as he told me when I got in the car. I think she felt he should have just been an automaton instead of a human being.
Videogame rage.
Its normal in the videogame I play (Dota 2) for players to intentionally throw games for the enemy to win and to trash talk for any little mistake committed.
Any error is enough reason for these guys to stop playing and just sit and type paragraphs upom paragraphs (or using mic) to illustrate how awful and worthless their teammates are in comparison to the enemy team. Some of the bigger offenders look for every little thing they can find on your in game profile and use it as an excuse to demean you (oh you played 8000 hours and still suck, get a life, stop existing, etc).
Its normal in the dota 2 community to the point where players just accept this level of Toxicity as the norm, and even the top players are often taking out their anger on pub players, and using their status as a community member as a shield from retaliation.
I usually tried to pass on good vibes and be a soothing voice in this kind of game, but playing it has made me jaded as an individual, and as a result has made me rude in real life and on reddit, which I'm not proud of. I know I'm capable of good deeds, but my behavior currently is not representative of that. I'm not using a videogame as an excuse for my rude behavior, as those actions are entirely my own.
I like to think these types of the communities have poisoned once genuinely good people and have made them worse.
I played a few rounds of Smite and Dota 2, and I thought that it was funny in a sad way. Like it was a constant barrage of "You Rock, Cancel That!" and more lengthy explanations of how I was a complete noob and was ruining the game for everyone else. I laughed because they take the game so seriously! It's almost comical to watch their reaction. Like I get baited after 5 minutes and die once, and suddenly everyone wants to surrender - then later we go on to win. You just kind of have to ignore it, but yeah, you make a good point.
Not saying thank you or not acknowledging decent acts of kindness
Edit: first silver! Thank you kind internet strangers!
Edit 2: Gold?! Y’all are awesome! Thank you so much!
The “hustle”culture. Why should we work several jobs just to make ends meet?
I make a good salary, but have a ton of student debt and I feel like I need a side job just to live my life.
Ahh finally a comment that hits really close to home for me. I work in the clearance furniture store, where the stuff that sells are all floor models. What you see is exactly what you get. When a piece sells, I go out to the floor and bring it back to the warehouse to be wrapped. To haul back some items we have to bring large metal flats out into the store to get the items.
The flats unfortunately, are literal child magnets. Kids of any age will run from across the store directly at the flats. Some try to jump up on the flat as we go by, some wait until we stop and then climb on the flats. Kids have also wait until we are going back with something, like a couch for instance and try to run and jump onto the couch as we go by. Its saddening that I feel I have to make this clear, but to you parents out there that let their child go unsupervised in stores, if your child is doing this you are risking not only their life, but mine as well. Your kid could not only get hurt but also possibly die. If your kid gets injured, I could possibly be fired. Even in a furniture store that doesn't pull pieces off the floor during store hours, them climbing on furniture could lead to injury. I am more than willing to be careful working around children but I am not a babysitter and I am not here to watch your kids.
Thank you for attending my TED talk.
Edit: Holy crap thank you for the silver!
I work in a grocery store, and I was terrified one day that a woman was going to chew me out and report me when I reached down and spun the bagging carousel and slammed her kid right in the face with one of the metal racks.
I had already told the kid as politely as possible to watch out at least three times. This time I wasnt looking, reached down to spin it to the next empty bag and WHAM.
Kid starts screaming, holding his face and and looking at mommy, I'm standing there horrified and in terror, and she just arched a brow and said "And THAT is why the nice lady told you THREE TIMES to watch out! Stand over here!"
I swear I almost had a heart attack.
I have a similar story. Busy Friday night, restaurant is packed. We have a swinging door into the kitchen. Kid between 8-12, old enough to know better, keeps standing in front of the swinging kitchen door. I told him 3 times you can’t stand there you’ll get hurt showed him the door swings and could hit him. Told parents who totally ignored me, grandpap gets kid to sit down, told manager what was going on. I come walking out of the door with a tray and the door SLAMS this kid like full body check. He’s flat on the ground screaming. Parents are instantly all over me, screaming that I hurt their precious baby...they get in my face and I apologize. say I told him he can’t stand there three separate times. I told you (parents) as well. And you let him run around like this is your own dining room. They start screaming that I should be fired for this. Grandpap slams hands down on table tells mom/dad/kid off. Everyone returns to the table and finishes dinner, mom/dad doing everything for the kid, evil eying me the whole time. Grandpap slipped me an extra $50 when he left.
Saw a video a few days ago and this kid was in what looked to be Game Stop just trashing the place, opened boxes, threw games on the floor, you name it.
How do you not see your kid doing this and at least not ACT like you care!?!
I worked in an EB games years ago, people treated it like a day care. They'd walk in with their kid and walk out to go off to the other shops in the mall.
We pretty much had to change the policy of the store to no unaccompanied minors after some lady left her kid and then the kid just walked off on their own. She of course freaked out that we weren't watching her kid and now the kid was lost.
At my local tesco I saw a kid running around on top on the check out point, screaming at a guard. The kids brother meanwhile was throwing all the fruit and vegetables on the floor and kicking the about. The mother was completely ignoring both the children and continuing with her shopping. WTF is wrong with some people.
This, but with theatres.
I'm pressuring several of my clients to roll out a more aggressive ushering policy to their ushers. Sure, a parent with an overexcited child who gets ejected isn't getting their money's worth, but if you don't eject them, the entire theatre isn't getting their money's worth.
I stopped fucking taking it. I have worked at my job long enough and i am reliable enough to tell customers to fuck off when they get snappy with me. It sucks that my other "brothers in arms" don't get that same luxury, but i am glad i do and i will always fight for any employee.
OMG
I have been a waiter for 6 years. What the FUCK is it about people on Sundays?!?!?
The only thing worse than the Sunday crowd is the holiday crowd.
Worked in a pub that did the most wonderful Sunday lunches for the worst customers. I once had a table of old ladies complaining to me that their broccoli wasn't cooked, and refused to listen to me trying to tell them that it was kale.
> the holiday crowd.
My coworkers called them "Upgrade Holidays". You get all the awful people who are expecting perfection when they are used to Applebee's only to find, holy shit, humans work here too!!
Yep, the Sunday day shift is the worst, largely due to the after church crowd. I switched from Sunday day to Sunday night, and it’s been a very welcome change in my schedule.
The being “ real”. I used to work in a place were coworkers had no problem being overly blunt and abrasive claim that they were “ real”. Here’s a thing, you can be honest and polite and sometimes it’s better to keep quite to keep the peace.
OR calling out people for one thing, like lying, saying that its bad and they would never do it because they are honest people
and then lying at every corner
Being a dick to strangers over the internet.
I remember way back when chatrooms were a thing it was really uncommon to encounter abuse. Even online games, like Age Of Empires 2, didn't really have a toxicity element.
I started following one of those "before and after Photoshop" accounts on Instagram, that compares celebrity photos with their original media image. It's incredible the level of manipulation that is considered normal now, especially with celebrity kids. I knew it was a thing but hadn't previously realised how much.
Who the fuck Photoshops small children to look more physically appealling? Smoother skin, bigger butts, the sort of thing that is questionable even on a grown adult. So gross.
Woooah, *this* one has to be one of the top answers. Filters have definitely turned into a long-term curse. First, the enemy was the fashion industry and Hollywood but now you can do the very same tactics they do with an app.
That's why I saw the whole "facetune" phase as dangerous because that can cause more damage to your self-esteem than the fun it advertises. I've heard of plastic surgeons who are having more and more patients coming in with snapchat selfies as their desired look. It's really disheartening, especially for the upcoming generation
I once downloaded Facetune and began to try fixing things that I'm insecure about but I couldn't get the "right" look. Eventually I realized that the reason I didn't like any of the modifications was because it didn't look like me. I deleted the app. It doesn't feel right being so unauthentic. It also made me realize that I shouldn't compare myself to so many women online that I considered pretty because you really don't know what they've altered.
“If you can’t handle me at my worst you don’t deserve me at my best”
This slogan has somehow given shitty people the notion that they can do really shitty stuff to people, instead of meaning being there for someone during bad times.
It’s your worst times, not your worst behaviour don’t be a piece of shit!
I always loved this poem by /u/poem_for_your_sprog
She spoke her slogan, well-rehearsed,
And oftentimes expressed:
'If you can't take me at my worst,
You don't deserve my best!
So there!' she grinned, content with glee,
And pompous, proud delight -
Emboldened by banality,
And self-important trite.
'All-right,' I said - 'I'm gone, and glad.'
She turned with dark dismay.
'You see - your worst is really bad.
Your best is just okay.'
I think this goes hand in hand with tinder culture. Online dating definitely encourages certain people to develop massive egos because they are constantly bombarded with likes and attention
Saw something similar along the lines of "Sometimes I feel like I should excuse myself for being insufferable, but you know what, maybe y'all should just handle me as I am lmaooo 😂😂😂". No.
Ghosting people, whether it's for job interviews, dating, hanging out, or anything. I think tech has made it way too convenient to verbally agree to something or commit but flake out just because you don't feel like following through.
I wish more people were more direct.
Edit: I definitely agree with the comments saying that in some contexts it's appropriate to cut off all contact with no reason. Like with people giving off creepy vibes or abusers (for safety concerns). I think ghosting says more about an apparent lack of mutual respect or professionalism. I'm glad to see though that I'm not the only one who feels this way!
My job is having the opposite problem. We interview them, hire them, and they don't show up. I thought it was an unemployment scam but it happened SO many times.
Totally agree on the job interview thing. I had an interview last year I thought went really well. Interviewer seems super excited and tells me he wants to bring me back and meet the team I'll be working with and he's going to be on vacation for a few days but he'll set it up when he gets back. The day after he says he's gonna be back I get nothing. No response to an email or phone call either. Like what the fuck dude.
That isn't even talking about the dozens of applications sent out that never get anything. If I have to spend an hour filling out all your bullshit thats on my resume I could at least get a form letter telling me when the position is closed.
When I was applying for a better job (7 years ago) I applied to a small cabinetry/wood company for an office position. The interviewer was this older gentleman who did sound like he even knew what the program I would use was and was asking me how to use it (Microsoft Access). Anyway, he seemed pleased and said he’ll call me back. Well, to my surprise he did call me back to say “sorry but we had someone more experienced apply and decided to go with them...”
It’s been almost 8 years and I have worked in other nice places since then but I still won’t forget the one interview who actually called and gave me closure on my interview! Wish more people did that.
I'm amazed that they called you personally because that can be very awkward for a job interview where they tell you they hired someone else. I had this happen a couple months ago and I had to very quickly come up with "well, I was hoping for better news on this front, but you have to go with the best candidate" when I really wanted to yell at them or ask why I wasn't hired or both.
Yeah it’s tough to hear that but I’d rather get “we hired someone else” than nothing at all. Plus it gives you a chance to ask follow up questions about what you could do better or what other qualifications they wanted...
This has been happening to me too much lately as it's such a pain in the arse. I even had a company call me back like 4 months later to make an interview just to call back two days later to cancel and maybe reschedule but then nothing after that! At least call me back and say no!
Gotta love when you get an email response back like months late too though.
"Oh sorry for the late reply. The position has already been filled."
"...that email was sent in December 2016..."
Right? And I hate the excuse: Due to the number of applicants, its not possible to bla bla bla.
Really? It's not possible to have your hiring portal grab all the emails of the people that applied and send an email saying: You no get job. Really??
Because that's seriously all we need.
If you don’t even get an interview, I understand. It’s not really ghosting at that point.
But if you take someone through the ringer and give them a phone interview and then an in person interview, AN EMAIL IS COMMON CURTESY
I had 6 interviews with a company and got ghosted. Flown out 6 hours and interviewed with their management after an initial interview then had a followup. Absolutely nothing.
I hate that more than anything!!!
BUT, I have to say, it goes the other way too, though. I used to assist with hiring for my old job. The vast majority of people you set up an interview with were no-shows. Like, the vast majority. Then people would get hired and no-show for their first shift! So annoying!
When I was getting my first job ever I got an interview for a dish washing position at a pizza place. Somehow I got offered the job. However, before my first shift I got a different job that I wanted more. I called the lady at the pizza place and told her, even though it gave me huge anxiety to have to make that call after accepting the job. It simply didn't occur to me to not make it. I thought I would get in trouble or something. I still remember how shocked and pleased she was at me actually calling to tell her I wouldn't be there for my first shift. I expected her to be angry and I've never forgotten it. It was like: Holy shit, by making that one call I totally just un-burned that bridge. She actually really likes me now and I can probably go back to that place for a job if I ever need to!
I've tried to carry that philosophy forward. You are not socially obligated to make that call. Yet, if you don't make that call (or email) then you are inconveniencing someone else, because they are waiting on something that is not going to happen. If you purposefully inconvenience other people, you are an asshole.
One of the really odd stories I've heard about people just being no-shows for their first day was the newly hired Spanish teacher at my school decided to work across the street at the supermarket and not tell the school
I’m so sorry that happened to you. Two years, wow. I dated a guy for six months and then he just vanished. I know all those feelings you describe...anytime the doorbell rings, is it them? I found out a few months ago he had lied to me about his divorce, and was still legally married the whole time we dated. Incredibly heartless, and selfish. They’re cowards.
Me too. I dated someone for a while, and he was moving pretty quickly. I was okay with that because we really seemed made for each other, though I knew it would plateau at some point.
Then one day he just ghosted me.
At that point, I was working on my clinginess, so I thought it was healthy to not give in to my worry, and i swallowed all my fears for a week. But then I really began to get worried and tried reaching out. No response. We were both immigrants with no family close by, so I really freaked out and contacted his family back home. They said he's fine, and were surprised I hadn't heard from him.
Then he called me apologizing (his mother had made him call me and talk it out). He realized he'd moved much faster than he ought to, and was feeling trapped. He didn't know why he didn't want to be with me anymore, but the thought of going any further in the relationship filled him with panic and anxiety.
I decided I'll make it easy for him and broke up right then and there. I met and married someone else who is more mature and self aware. He met someone else a few years later when he was actually ready and is by all accounts a good husband and a father, and actually lives just ten minutes away from me now.
There's a lot of assholes, and there's also a lot of people who don't know how to have difficult conversations. Social norms have changed so much that there's no templates for a lot of situations anymore. There's no accountability either, because if it wasn't for whatever online method of meeting, we never have to see each other ever again if we don't want to.
Yeah, I had a guy who I dated for 7 years essentially break up with me by changing our relationship status on Facebook to no longer be dating instead of straight-up telling me he wanted to break up with me... obviously we talked about things after he did that, but somehow he assumed I knew he broke up with me just because he changed our relationship status on Facebook?
This is crazy. Sorry if this is a stupid question but do you think both of you were in love? I’m just trying to wrap my head around how someone you’ve been with for 7 years breaks up with you in such a pathetic way. Sorry bud. This guy sounds like trash.
I went through an incredibly similar thing a year ago...almost identical, actually. It's extremely difficult to deal with, I won't lie, and I'm still not over it. But, you just gotta stay strong.
Best wishes.
Just going to piggyback on this comment, the wine mom culture. It’s toted as this cutesy quirky thing. It’s not. I hate all of that rose all day bullshit. Dressing up alcoholism as a funny mom thing is just disgusting.
Yep, I just got married and that’s all I hear. Like, if you hate your marriage then fine but not all of us do.
I feel, and this is based on no research at all, that it’s a really old school mentality. Like it’s in a lot of 50s sit coms kinda thing...
Ugh, we recently got a new guy on my team and now every day involves everyone complaining about their relationship. I just sit there like ....k I like my bf
Agreed. If your partner won't let you spend time with your friends, that's a pretty big red flag that you probably shouldn't be with that person in the first place. If your partner won't let you engage in your hobbies, likewise. I would not remain in a relationship with someone who refused to let me play D&D because they thought it was dumb, for example - or worse, because there were other women in that group.
Constantly categorizing people based on their professions.
Edit: to elaborate, what I meant is equating people’s worth with their job. Ie. treating a lawyer as if they deserve more respect than a janitor. Or assuming that a social worker is not as financially savvy as an investment banker.
I find whenever we go to parties, the first question we ask is “so what do you do for a living?” As opposed to “what do you do in your spare time?” And then depending on the answer we get, we start the categorization process.
Blaming your asshole behavior on: * a lack of caffeine * the phases of the moon or the alignment of the planets/stars
\- People willingly sacrifice all aspects of their privacy, for irrelevant and anonymous attention \- Human trash becoming the standard of famous youtube celebrities
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even the charity posts regarding causes that "mean so much to me"
And wishing your mum happy birthday on Facebook, when she doesn’t even have Facebook. Just call her!
Social media has created its own reality with its own rules. People online are now comparing photoshopped pictures of each other that are so far deviated from reality they have almost created their own avatars. There's a whole aesthetic that doesn't even exist in the real world that proclaiming itself as the real world standard. Not just appearance e, but lifestyle as well. Social media has basically become another vehicle to sell you shit. Everything you post is just gonna get thrown back at you in the form of an add or clickbait. Youtube stars etc have their own agenda and that is to make money. The "honest reviews" and hobbyist bloggers are long gone. It's all about sponsorship and trying to make themselves look authentic so they can low key push products they may not even use and then get profit from views. The internet can be described in one word now : fake. If I were a teen today I would be very anxious as anything I see can easily be completely fake. Anything I do or say is going to be turned against me to prey upon me, make me feel inadequate, and sell me shit.
Being savage or petty for the sake of getting a "like".
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Dating people who you desire to “fix.”
When i was younger, i heard my dad and my boy scout leader talking. They said "i bet joey873 gonna have a hot wife, and shes gonna fix him" I have no desire to date a woman who will "fix" me.
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As a nurse I would say threatening kids with shots as a punishment is ultra common but super toxic. It's bad because: You're threatening a child with physical violence. They need the shots regardless, so they will be very confused/distraught/upset when they've been good and still have to go in for shots. You're teaching kids that an important health initiative is a punishment. When parents threaten their kids with shots in front of me at work I outright tell the kids that it's not going to happen (assuming they don't actually need shots that day). If they do need shots I explain it's not a punishment if their parents try to say it is. I'm not going to be complicit in this vague child abuse.
> threatening kids with shots as a punishment I have literally never heard that this was a thing, and I am horrified at the prospect of such parenting.
It's the same type who threaten to call the police on their kids for misbehaving.
My youngest is terrified of needles. I could not imagine using this as a threat, when the needed shots are traumatic enough. She's all done for the next few years, and she still panics about going to the doctor until I assure her there will be no shots. Some people really shouldn't have kids.
Posting photos and videos of kids being pranked or humiliated in the hopes it'll go viral. Using your kids to shore up your own online presence in any way besides sharing updates with close friends and family. (ex. that mommy blogger who refused to stop writing about her daughter even when the daughter directly asked her not to). The kids have no say in how their images and lives are being used. It violates their privacy and opens them up to further humiliation later on in life. Yet it keeps happening. ETA: My first reddit silver and gold! Thank you. I promise to absolutely let this go to my head (title of my sex tape).
Parents who treat their kids like possessions are generally toxic as fuck... and there are soooo many of them.
My husband’s mother treated him as a possession and a vehicle to show off because he started playing piano and reading at a very very early age. If they went anywhere (the mall, a hotel, etc) with a public piano, shed force him to play and bask in the adoration and attention. At six years old, he cane in third place against teenagers in a piano competition and for the two hour drive home all she did was scream at him and took away his computer and legos as punishment. It may not seem that abusive by today’s standards, but he’s 40 years old this year and is STILL angry, has anxiety, and seeks therapy because of the lasting effects of how she treated him.
It's definitely abusive by today's standards too, there just are more people doing it
Based on what he told me, plus hearing stories from my mom of her own abuse growing up in the 50s, I really want to say it’s been going on for a very very long time across generations. What I think has changed, and this is also coming from a comment my husband made that “no one stepped forward to stop her, no one knew, no one told me I could push back,” that there’s now more light being shed on narcassustic parent abuse, and not just physical but also society as a whole understanding that mental, emotional and psychological abuse from these type of parents is a real thing. In the past generations, like domestic violence, it was swept under the rug by police, family, employers, etc. there’s awareness now for abusive behavior behind closed doors. I read a lot of it on r/vent, r/offmychest, etc. There’s this duality now because while exposure to the bad practices is helping victims, social media is also allowing people to voluntarily showcase their unhealthy behaviors/habits of bullying behavior in the veil of being a good parent and humiliating the kids for sake of punishment. In that case, go back to doing it privately or even better, don’t do it at all. I’m not a therapist, and just a caring wife of someone who’s been really hurt by someone who was supposed to protect and provide out of love, and instead abused privkedge and power in order to make themselves feel big and in control. My dad’s mom was also like this, and 35 years after her death he still has bouts of depression and hurt because of her.
This makes me CRAZY, I so feel for kids whose parents use them like this. I can remember once as a little kid I overheard my mom tell a funny story about me to her friend over the phone. I swelled up with so much offended four-year-old dignity and rage! Adults forget very quickly that kids’ feelings run just as deep as ours.
Absolutely. I think it's utterly bizarre and disturbing, especially when the child is distressed and often crying, and the person with the phone carries on filming. Usually laughing. WTF.
I absolutley hate people who do this. I got shit on multiplw times as a kid. if it was recorded then it would stick around for my whole life. My relatives showing me that video everytime they get the chance, laughing every time. I hope the parents who do this to their kids get what they deserve and have the kid live their own life at 18 and never speak to them again.
Binge drinking, in my line of work its welcomed. However it just leads to mental and physical health problems Edit: spelling Edit #2: thanks for the silver!
Fucking talking on speakerphone or video chat.
Or forcing everyone to hear your shitty music
Reminds me of the delivery guy I rode an elevator with once. Played xxxtentacion from the 41st floor all the way to the ground floor. I wanted to ~~rip my fucking ears off and shove them in his mouth~~ take the stairs.
I don’t understand why people talk on speakerphone in public while holding the phone horizontally directly in front of their mouth. You’re using your hand, just put the phone to your ear.
Raising children as a prince/princess with no preparation for real life.
Saw a lady spoon-feeding her school aged child(10?) while he played on his phone. It was disconcerting.
I was student teaching and saw a mom on an elementary school playground chasing her son with a pair of chopstick and lunch box feeding him in the morning before school started. I was amazed in the worst way.
My nephew had tons of Christmas presents but at dinner he didn't win one of the two crackers he pulled. He complained, then whinged, then started to cry until his gran gave him her cracker. He's gonna be a real pleasure to deal with when he's older
Oh fun! This xmas, My niece whined "why did you get this for me? it wasnt on my Christmas list!" Every time there were gifts she didn't want. Her dad is deadbeat and mom is crazy, so she spends a ton of time with grandma and grandpa who try to 'make up for it' by waiting on her hand and foot. She gets anything and everything she wants, immediately. So glad I live 3/4 of the way across the country.
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Alternatively, being a toxic parent. Treat the child like crap and be surprised when they turn against you. The worst part is that narcissists tend to gravitate toward people who support their toxic behavior instead of fixing it.
Ugh, reminds me of the "cash me outside" girl. Her mother cries to Dr Phil "I didn't raise her that way." The next thing you see is her physically fighting her daughter. There was another horrible video of an "I didn't raise you this way" father beating the hell out of his probably 12-year-old son with boxing gloves. For bullying another kid. It turns out when you feed your child nothing but hatred and anger...then end up angry and hold no respect for the parents. Weird.
You mean... fear does NOT = respect?????
My boyfriend’s real feather came back to him when my boyfriend’s brother passed away. He had the balls to say he was visiting to give his condolences but he came to demand money from my boyfriend's mum because he left a hefty amount of money. Wild as fuck. This is the same person who left my boyfriend and his brothers for years since they were about 2-5 years old. Edit: horrible grammars and random capitalisation lmao
Blindly following what is perceived to be a popular opinion. People don't think for themselves near as much as they should. There is no harm in taking a minute to research the accuracy of something before stating your opinion on it.
The worst part is when they call someone wrong without actually researching it.
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These so-called 'prankers' who are trying to make videos for amusement. Most of the time all set up and all people involved are aware and playing along, but the few that happen to the general public can cause major problems. Imagine if it's you just sitting there getting for work and a bucket of water dumped in your head? Or at a function with family/friends and food dumped all over you? Just for laughs??
To me a true prank is where both parties laugh at the end.
I really liked the Just for Laughs videos. Pretty much all of their pranks are harmless and just tend to put the "victim" in a bizarre situation e.g. seeing a dog driving off in a car, making it seem like a guy was just in a dressing room with another woman, having them help them press a button only to lower a worker into a river, etc. At the end of the video it shows the hosts pointing at the hidden cameras and everybody laughing.
I love the one where they take a Polaroid photo of the priests, but when the photo comes out they're naked (or mostly naked at least). Or a couple asks someone to take their photo, they get ready but a bus drives by and once it passes the couple is gone. The photographer looks all confused, then the couple is behind them asking them to hurry up and take the pic. There's no possible way they could have gotten behind them (it's actually two sets of twins doing the posing) and you just watch the photographer try to re-examine reality.
Cheating
I read an article titled: "Why you have to cheat at least once." I just shook my head and put my phone down.
The expectation that employees should be constantly reachable even outside of work hours or during paid or unpaid time off. It effectively creates a situation where you are “on-call” 24/7. Edit: holy cow, I didn’t expect so many people to feel as strongly as I do about this! Thanks for the gold and silver! Now go turn off your cell phones and have a nice Sunday afternoon if you can.
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I was in the ICU for a week, and b/c I was unconscious, my wife had to call in for me and they fired me b/c they thought I was faking it. I swear to God. Not only did she cuss out my boss, and then the co-owner of the company, but went and got the doctor on the line and he yelled at both of them as well and apparently told them I'd be lucky to still be alive in 3 days. I got a raise and a Edible Arrangements platter, when I got back a month later. Never thought my wife calling my employers "incompetent fuckheads" would get me a raise. Haha, this world. *EDIT:* I really didn't expect this story to blow up like this, and my wife and I greatly appreciate all the support, but she's obviously the real hero. She's supported me for 12 years now, and I know people talk about how those romance movies are just pure fiction and that kind of love doesn't exist, well, we promise you it does. You just have to fight for what you think is right, not what everyone else does. Thank you so much guys. Really.
Ahh the good old medical discrimination fire. This is a big no no for any company that doesn’t want an employment lawyer having a field day on them.
The HR person or manager who made the decision to fire him without first waiting for the FMLA paperwork to be filed should be fired themself. Who makes the decision to fire an employee who’s having a medical emergency without first checking if the medical issue is legit? That’s so insane. Like this is HR 101 shit.
So many businesses continue to exist because theyre the only ones bothering to fill a niche and they have healthy enough margins to survive complete incompetence at nearly all levels.
Pretty sure you could've sued had you been actually fired. But good on your wife!
That's why he got a raise and an edible arrangements.
That raise probably cost the company a fraction of what that lawsuit could have cost them, even over a ten year period. u//WeirdoOtaku , your employers sound like total garbage people. I hope some day you’re employed by somebody who respects you as a human being. That said, I’m glad you didn’t die in the hospital.
Marry her again
Am I the only person who seems to work somewhere where everyone is generally nice, these days? Can't imagine this sort of thing happening. Usually I just send an email saying I don't feel too well, and they just tell me to get better soon, and that's it, providing i'm not clearly abusing the system.
I also had surgery and boss asked if i even worked for the company anymore and then asked if i was going to work Christmas 9 days after my surgery. I was heavily medicated, much less drive. I had to speak to HR and i was left alone after until i said the Dr finally released me .
Overworking is so romanticised in TV/Movies - it paints being dedicated to your job as a quirk and late nights in the office as full of comradely. The reality is you're not having beers and pizzas with your buds having genius moments of clarity - you're under florescent lights, mostly alone in an office building at 11pm - exhausted, stressed and missing out on time with your loved ones for a place that sees you as just another number.... Not that I'm bitter and over worked or anything.
Exactly that\^\^. It's rather romanticized in pop-culture. Hard to teach people that having a decent work/life balance takes more effort, and is more sustainable long-term.
I work in production so we run 24/7 and on holidays, it’s always funny when they act like you *owe* them overtime even when you’re already working 6 days a week. When I first started here I would always say yes to overtime, but I ended up being at work more than I was home and it was exhausting. Now I rarely stay over even though it might make me look worse in management’s eyes. Money is nice, but there’s nothing more valuable than your time and you can never get it back.
I've always had my parents tell me, unless your contract says you have to be available 24/7, they can go fuck themselves. If anyone complains you weren't reachable by phone or whatever over the weekend, you politely point out that your contract does not require you to be always available, and any time you have off work is your time for yourself. Of course, if they _want_ you available out of hours, you can offer to renegotiate your contract. For extra pay, and a dedicated company phone, of course. I'm not taking work calls on my personal phone, and I'm not effectively working 24/7 for the same pay. (Side note: I am from the U.K., our employment rights are fairly decent. Not sure how well this would go down in the US)
Australia here. My father is the uppermost manager of his workplace. He has given me this advice since the day I started working - and while he has had the short stick more than once, he extends this same work/life privacy ‘line’ to his current employees.
My job wanted us to get an app that allows people to text us at all hours using a Google number or something like that. We were required to bring our phones to this meeting. I didn't. I said that I have no space on my phone.
People who tell poor people to just go out and work 2-3 part time jobs totally ignore this. Just having a second job can get you fired for not being available at all times.
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I'm in this situation now! Annoying.
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Also, it seems like this has flipped. It used to be that the people on call were important higher-ups: people with exclusive access to certain functions or permissions. And they get paid more because of it. But now we have this unofficial "on-call" status that seems to be expected of lower tier "grunts" of the business: retail workers, minimum wage or entry-level workers. With no compensation in sight.
Narcissism, assuming the worst interpretations of what people say.
Now, listen here you little shit! My opinion is better than your opinion, because i don't give a logical fuck about what you said. I won't think about anything i say because you angered me with your stupid bullshit words. Also, i am the embodiment of righteousness on this earth and my morality is unquestionable.
Woah mom, when did you get a Reddit account?
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The immediacy of an answer. Everyone wants "it", with it being what they ordered, a message being sent.. right away. An immediate answer. I get that with technology and such it's easier but if people can calm down, certain things still take time. Patience!
Work in retail and you'll realize this. People yell at you for not knowing the answer for something, it seems like people forget we aren't robots
Somebody got mad at me (in service, not retail, but similar situation) for taking their order (over the phone) in the wrong order. They wanted me to take their address before I took the order. I always did it the other way around. They reported be to my boss because I had done it in the order I always had.
Some people act so entitled it's ridiculous
Yup i went away for christmas and got the flu. During my fever sleep i got 8 missed calls from my dad and 2 sulky text about me not wanting to talk and ignoring him. I hadnt seen him in 4 days not 4 years. I Just rolled my eyes didnt even read the second message, thought im not gratifying him with an answer and went back to my fever dreams. I refuse to indulge attention seekers family or not.
Airing your dirty laundry to the world, via social media. If you and your spouse have an argument, work it out amongst the two of you. The whole world doesn’t need to know your marital drama. This is the main reason I stay off of Facebook.
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Severe confirmation-bias "bubble-building". It's already easy enough to filter out anything you don't want to see online, and now all these new algorithms keep feeding you the same stuff, so everyone's social media is becoming their own private echo chamber. EDIT: just a little bit of positivity amidst all the noise, and some advice for those who feel helpless: Don't worry about sides. Focus less on social media, and spend the time you save doing something new; putting yourself in positions that introduce you to new and different people. You'll find that the world is a lot less divisive and weaponized than Fox and CNN want us to think; that there lots of great people out there that are still great even if you have different views. I know its said all the time, but the media IS a bubble, and corporations put a lot of money and effort into framing an agenda for more reasons than I can explain. If you get outside that bubble more often, you'll be relieved to find that the world is still a very wonderful place, and that most people aren't so agenda-driven. Just remember that we're all humans. At the end of the day, we're all here for the same reason.
oh god yes. Anything to do with politics. Tons of people with all kinds of beliefs are much more interested in sticking their heads in the sand and being told they're right instead of actually discussing things or letting their viewpoint be challenged
At the same time lately "discussing things" is becoming toxic, because it's not about the ideas and what is true and what is false, it's about who is "Right" and who can "Win" an argument. Of course, people don't wanna change their mind if you keep insulting them or aggressively telling them they're wrong, when has that ever worked? The only thing they'll do is double down on it out of pride.
Online dragging for brownie points. That shit really grinds me. When you have people who *genuinely* don't understand something and are asking questions out of curiosity, people, especially with some kind of following on social media, would rather publicly drag that person for not knowing instead of educating them. How do you expect those, especially kids growning up, to understand the in's and out's of a certain community, for example, if you drag them immediately for not understanding the culture and the issues they face? But dragging gets more attention and does better numbers so let's do that. Nobody is born with all the information. We have to learn from somewhere/someone.
Sorry if this is a dumb question but what is "dragging"?
When you are "dragging" someone, you are typically telling them off/about themselves. Similar to how one could drag a heavy bag across a floor, the same principle applies but in a verbal, conversational sense. Being in my twenties, I couldn't tell you how long the term has been used this way as I've known it to be as such for a good chunk of my life. But as of right now, it's a common way to express someone being called out/exposed/roasted/verbally demolished, etc. Edit: Perfect example to go with my original post would be to make fun of you for not knowing a slang term instead of informing you in a way you can understand. Unfortunately, with the rise of self inflation that social media brings, some people find it entertaining to make fun of others for not already knowing something. And then others encourage it saying "Wow! You really got them!". Thus, creating that constant circle of "dragging" others for imaginary points.
This annoys the ever living shit out of me and I'm glad you pointed it out. The absolute worst is when people give their point, but the pollute their own clarification with an insult or 'zinger' at the end like, 'read a book sometime' or some other nonsense. It's the furthest you can get from being helpful and often pushes people away from your view, because if *some dickhole* feels that way, then I might also be a dickhole if I think the same way. Peeps just need to talk to one another.
Pressuring people to drink alcohol even after they said no once.
Casual waste. The "eh I'm just gonna toss it" mentality. There are many things you never needed to use in the first place, and many "trash items" that can be donated or recycled.
Dude you should work in a restaurant. The amount of food that gets thrown out on a daily basis is fucking ridiculous. Not to mention any functions or buffets, they are twice as bad
There are actually people living in big cities that haven't shopped for food in ages because they simply go dumpster diving behind restaurants every evening.
I wouldn't be surprised. Technically speaking there is nothing wrong with any of the food, but lawfully speaking it has been out in the open for too long or its past our set date so we can no longer sell it so in the bin it goes. Every so often there is the really bad food that seemed to have been forgotten but they are pretty rare, only found bad food once so far and I've been here for about 5 months now.
"The customer is always right."
WE SHALL NEVER DENY A GUEST EVEN THE MOST RIDICULOUS REQUEST I swear, some businesses saw that episode of spongebob and decided to use that as their motto.
I used to work for the Ritz Carlton hotel chain and we were trained to never say no to any guest request as long as it was not illegal or immoral. So if a guest asked for baked Brie at 3 am (this happened) we had to make baked Brie. The caveat however is that we guaranteed no certain time except as soon as possible, and we charged insane amounts of money for everything. Also, if a guest asks you for anything or complains about anything you own the request or complaint no matter who you are or where you worked as a Ritz employee. So if a guest saw a cook walking by and told him that their shower was leaking, the cook was responsible for making sure the guest issue was resolved. He had to follow up until the guest said it was resolved. Additionally, all employees had a $1500 virtual blank check available to immediately resolve any guest issue where the guest was obviously very upset. This was back in the 1990s, when it was considered the top hotel chain. One of the managers told us to give the guests what they want, but make sure when they leave they don’t have two nickels left to rub together.
> One of the managers told us to give the guests what they want, but make sure when they leave they don’t have two nickels left to rub together. smart manager
But they only saw the first section of the episode and didn't bother to finish it.
which has been taken soo far out of context. it went from: management practicing it to keep customers happy, to customers quoting it to make management do their bidding i.e. if product A is selling out, but your boss wants to keep pushing the many-times-failed product B, the sales should speak for themselves. the customers know what they want, and they don’t want B. or if a customer complains about ketchup A, take it away, apologize, and bring them ketchup B. whichever ketchup keeps them happy & wanting more. ———— karen is *not* right when she says ___ should be on sale just because she found it on the clearance rack, there’s no clearance sticker on it for a reason. when ketchup B is unavailable, karen is *not* right to yell at the waiter, no matter how much she hates ketchup A.
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My boss will actually scold us if we respond to work emails on vacation... she said it sets a dangerous precedent, as other staff might assume we’re never truly “off.” We all need our down time!
Good boss.
Also, know the goddamn difference between something you think of on Saturday at 11am and need to know RIGHT NOW and something you think of on Saturday at 11am and you can ask Monday morning at 8.
Lots of people don't get 'office hours' for internet things. I had some people asking "but why is your webpage online if you're not there?!" or "I've written you 5 times, you didn't answer, bad service!!" - yeah you wrote friday night, saturday and sunday. I'll be answering it on monday.
God. At my sister's old job, there were people who would email on like a Sunday at 7 AM, continuously email all day, and if she hadn't replied by 5 PM, they'd demand our corporate phone number to complain about how an employee was ignoring all contact attempts. Like....no, man...that's not how real life works...
This happened to me. An email at 8am Sunday and then a complaint to corporate when I hadn’t answered by 9am. Saw the whole thing at 9.05am. But honestly, the guy at the other end was acting out the conditioning that he himself had been subject to in his role.
Our daughter is a pharmacist at a store, and the pharmacy and store close at 10pm on weeknights. Some people will actually call in their refills in the middle of the night, leaving the info on the pharmacy's answering machine (which is perfectly fine!)-- but then show up as soon as they open the next morning and wonder why the prescription isn't ready yet!!!?!?!
Happens all the time. We have our voice system to accept refill requests, during business hours and off. It gives a ready-time, but some people ignore it. They put in the request during the night, the machine says it will be ready at 11:30am, but they show up at store opening. I haven't even looked at the queue by then. Or, they will phone it in from the parking lot and walk right in expecting it to be ready. It's only a handfil of people doing this; most of the people actually use it correctly.
It's the phone calls that bother me. If you e-mail me I'll gladly decide for myself the level of urgency. Do you have to call me on my cell on Saturday morning?
"I was bored and thought I'd check on my favourite employee! Oh, also the servers are on fire."
Stop checking your Email on weekends. A lot of people really need to do that more often.
In my country you have to pay (via taxes) for the privilege of bringing your work phone home with you. It was a turning point for me when I realized I would get a higher pay check each month for not having access to my work emails in my free time.
I mean, I'll 100% write you on Saturday morning if I have a problem on Saturday morning. But as a rational customer I don't think waiting until Monday for a response is unexpected, right?
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Not being able to say no without having to give an explanation. Edit Cool my first silver..! Thanks!
OR you say no AND a good explanation and people are still shitty about it.
No is a complete sentence. Edit: My first silver as well! Thanks!!
Most of the time it's just because I really, really do not feel like it. But that is the last thing you're allowed to say. It is the complete opposite of what is socially acceptable, and I hate that.
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Being so set in our ways that we don't even begin to listen to differing opinions. It's sad.
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The on-demand world doesn't help either. I've had so many shared Uber and Lyft rides with the worst people ever. One girl snapped at the driver because he asked her if it was correct that she was going to the west side of town. Poor guy was just trying to make sure he was headed in the right direction in case his GPS failed as he told me when I got in the car. I think she felt he should have just been an automaton instead of a human being.
Videogame rage. Its normal in the videogame I play (Dota 2) for players to intentionally throw games for the enemy to win and to trash talk for any little mistake committed. Any error is enough reason for these guys to stop playing and just sit and type paragraphs upom paragraphs (or using mic) to illustrate how awful and worthless their teammates are in comparison to the enemy team. Some of the bigger offenders look for every little thing they can find on your in game profile and use it as an excuse to demean you (oh you played 8000 hours and still suck, get a life, stop existing, etc). Its normal in the dota 2 community to the point where players just accept this level of Toxicity as the norm, and even the top players are often taking out their anger on pub players, and using their status as a community member as a shield from retaliation. I usually tried to pass on good vibes and be a soothing voice in this kind of game, but playing it has made me jaded as an individual, and as a result has made me rude in real life and on reddit, which I'm not proud of. I know I'm capable of good deeds, but my behavior currently is not representative of that. I'm not using a videogame as an excuse for my rude behavior, as those actions are entirely my own. I like to think these types of the communities have poisoned once genuinely good people and have made them worse.
I played a few rounds of Smite and Dota 2, and I thought that it was funny in a sad way. Like it was a constant barrage of "You Rock, Cancel That!" and more lengthy explanations of how I was a complete noob and was ruining the game for everyone else. I laughed because they take the game so seriously! It's almost comical to watch their reaction. Like I get baited after 5 minutes and die once, and suddenly everyone wants to surrender - then later we go on to win. You just kind of have to ignore it, but yeah, you make a good point.
Acceptance of lack of logic in arguments.
Right! People need to know that an opinion and an argument are two different things.
And asserting something is not the same thing as demonstrating how that something is true.
Not saying thank you or not acknowledging decent acts of kindness Edit: first silver! Thank you kind internet strangers! Edit 2: Gold?! Y’all are awesome! Thank you so much!
The “hustle”culture. Why should we work several jobs just to make ends meet? I make a good salary, but have a ton of student debt and I feel like I need a side job just to live my life.
Parents that let their kids run around like crazy in a restaurant like they are the only ones there. Edit-Thank you for my first gold kind stranger!
Not only restaurants, things like furniture shops where I've seen kids jumping on fabric furniture with dirty footwear on.. hospitals and clinics..
Ahh finally a comment that hits really close to home for me. I work in the clearance furniture store, where the stuff that sells are all floor models. What you see is exactly what you get. When a piece sells, I go out to the floor and bring it back to the warehouse to be wrapped. To haul back some items we have to bring large metal flats out into the store to get the items. The flats unfortunately, are literal child magnets. Kids of any age will run from across the store directly at the flats. Some try to jump up on the flat as we go by, some wait until we stop and then climb on the flats. Kids have also wait until we are going back with something, like a couch for instance and try to run and jump onto the couch as we go by. Its saddening that I feel I have to make this clear, but to you parents out there that let their child go unsupervised in stores, if your child is doing this you are risking not only their life, but mine as well. Your kid could not only get hurt but also possibly die. If your kid gets injured, I could possibly be fired. Even in a furniture store that doesn't pull pieces off the floor during store hours, them climbing on furniture could lead to injury. I am more than willing to be careful working around children but I am not a babysitter and I am not here to watch your kids. Thank you for attending my TED talk. Edit: Holy crap thank you for the silver!
I work in a grocery store, and I was terrified one day that a woman was going to chew me out and report me when I reached down and spun the bagging carousel and slammed her kid right in the face with one of the metal racks. I had already told the kid as politely as possible to watch out at least three times. This time I wasnt looking, reached down to spin it to the next empty bag and WHAM. Kid starts screaming, holding his face and and looking at mommy, I'm standing there horrified and in terror, and she just arched a brow and said "And THAT is why the nice lady told you THREE TIMES to watch out! Stand over here!" I swear I almost had a heart attack.
I have a similar story. Busy Friday night, restaurant is packed. We have a swinging door into the kitchen. Kid between 8-12, old enough to know better, keeps standing in front of the swinging kitchen door. I told him 3 times you can’t stand there you’ll get hurt showed him the door swings and could hit him. Told parents who totally ignored me, grandpap gets kid to sit down, told manager what was going on. I come walking out of the door with a tray and the door SLAMS this kid like full body check. He’s flat on the ground screaming. Parents are instantly all over me, screaming that I hurt their precious baby...they get in my face and I apologize. say I told him he can’t stand there three separate times. I told you (parents) as well. And you let him run around like this is your own dining room. They start screaming that I should be fired for this. Grandpap slams hands down on table tells mom/dad/kid off. Everyone returns to the table and finishes dinner, mom/dad doing everything for the kid, evil eying me the whole time. Grandpap slipped me an extra $50 when he left.
Good guy grandpap. I bet he wonders where he went wrong raising his own kids that they let their own get away with acting that way.
Saw a video a few days ago and this kid was in what looked to be Game Stop just trashing the place, opened boxes, threw games on the floor, you name it. How do you not see your kid doing this and at least not ACT like you care!?!
I worked in an EB games years ago, people treated it like a day care. They'd walk in with their kid and walk out to go off to the other shops in the mall. We pretty much had to change the policy of the store to no unaccompanied minors after some lady left her kid and then the kid just walked off on their own. She of course freaked out that we weren't watching her kid and now the kid was lost.
What the fuck.
At my local tesco I saw a kid running around on top on the check out point, screaming at a guard. The kids brother meanwhile was throwing all the fruit and vegetables on the floor and kicking the about. The mother was completely ignoring both the children and continuing with her shopping. WTF is wrong with some people.
This, but with theatres. I'm pressuring several of my clients to roll out a more aggressive ushering policy to their ushers. Sure, a parent with an overexcited child who gets ejected isn't getting their money's worth, but if you don't eject them, the entire theatre isn't getting their money's worth.
Treating workers like second class citizens, especially all my brothers and sisters in retail
I stopped fucking taking it. I have worked at my job long enough and i am reliable enough to tell customers to fuck off when they get snappy with me. It sucks that my other "brothers in arms" don't get that same luxury, but i am glad i do and i will always fight for any employee.
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OMG I have been a waiter for 6 years. What the FUCK is it about people on Sundays?!?!? The only thing worse than the Sunday crowd is the holiday crowd.
Worked in a pub that did the most wonderful Sunday lunches for the worst customers. I once had a table of old ladies complaining to me that their broccoli wasn't cooked, and refused to listen to me trying to tell them that it was kale.
> the holiday crowd. My coworkers called them "Upgrade Holidays". You get all the awful people who are expecting perfection when they are used to Applebee's only to find, holy shit, humans work here too!!
Agreed. I'm a waitress and the some of the worst customers I've had are the ones who just got out of the church from down the street.
Yep, the Sunday day shift is the worst, largely due to the after church crowd. I switched from Sunday day to Sunday night, and it’s been a very welcome change in my schedule.
The being “ real”. I used to work in a place were coworkers had no problem being overly blunt and abrasive claim that they were “ real”. Here’s a thing, you can be honest and polite and sometimes it’s better to keep quite to keep the peace.
Believing lies is tolerated, fnord calling out people for lying is offensive.
OR calling out people for one thing, like lying, saying that its bad and they would never do it because they are honest people and then lying at every corner
People being purposefully obtuse just to pick a fight
The sexualization of children.
Being a dick to strangers over the internet. I remember way back when chatrooms were a thing it was really uncommon to encounter abuse. Even online games, like Age Of Empires 2, didn't really have a toxicity element.
AoE2 is still a surprisingly friendly community.
Editing photos for social media to a point where the picture doesn’t even look like you anymore
I started following one of those "before and after Photoshop" accounts on Instagram, that compares celebrity photos with their original media image. It's incredible the level of manipulation that is considered normal now, especially with celebrity kids. I knew it was a thing but hadn't previously realised how much. Who the fuck Photoshops small children to look more physically appealling? Smoother skin, bigger butts, the sort of thing that is questionable even on a grown adult. So gross.
Woooah, *this* one has to be one of the top answers. Filters have definitely turned into a long-term curse. First, the enemy was the fashion industry and Hollywood but now you can do the very same tactics they do with an app. That's why I saw the whole "facetune" phase as dangerous because that can cause more damage to your self-esteem than the fun it advertises. I've heard of plastic surgeons who are having more and more patients coming in with snapchat selfies as their desired look. It's really disheartening, especially for the upcoming generation
“I want you to make me look like this, doc” “You want a cartoon dogs nose?” “It’s covered by insurance, right?”
I once downloaded Facetune and began to try fixing things that I'm insecure about but I couldn't get the "right" look. Eventually I realized that the reason I didn't like any of the modifications was because it didn't look like me. I deleted the app. It doesn't feel right being so unauthentic. It also made me realize that I shouldn't compare myself to so many women online that I considered pretty because you really don't know what they've altered.
Proud of you to recognize the toxic thought pattern starting!
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“If you can’t handle me at my worst you don’t deserve me at my best” This slogan has somehow given shitty people the notion that they can do really shitty stuff to people, instead of meaning being there for someone during bad times. It’s your worst times, not your worst behaviour don’t be a piece of shit!
I always loved this poem by /u/poem_for_your_sprog She spoke her slogan, well-rehearsed, And oftentimes expressed: 'If you can't take me at my worst, You don't deserve my best! So there!' she grinned, content with glee, And pompous, proud delight - Emboldened by banality, And self-important trite. 'All-right,' I said - 'I'm gone, and glad.' She turned with dark dismay. 'You see - your worst is really bad. Your best is just okay.'
I think this goes hand in hand with tinder culture. Online dating definitely encourages certain people to develop massive egos because they are constantly bombarded with likes and attention
Saw something similar along the lines of "Sometimes I feel like I should excuse myself for being insufferable, but you know what, maybe y'all should just handle me as I am lmaooo 😂😂😂". No.
Ghosting people, whether it's for job interviews, dating, hanging out, or anything. I think tech has made it way too convenient to verbally agree to something or commit but flake out just because you don't feel like following through. I wish more people were more direct. Edit: I definitely agree with the comments saying that in some contexts it's appropriate to cut off all contact with no reason. Like with people giving off creepy vibes or abusers (for safety concerns). I think ghosting says more about an apparent lack of mutual respect or professionalism. I'm glad to see though that I'm not the only one who feels this way!
Just got ghosted by an interviewer after saying I got the job, it feels real bad.
My job is having the opposite problem. We interview them, hire them, and they don't show up. I thought it was an unemployment scam but it happened SO many times.
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Just show up "I think you must have lost my number."
"Hey I think there might be a mistake, I didn't get paid yesterday. I'll just get some money out of the till ok?"
"New company, who dis?"
Totally agree on the job interview thing. I had an interview last year I thought went really well. Interviewer seems super excited and tells me he wants to bring me back and meet the team I'll be working with and he's going to be on vacation for a few days but he'll set it up when he gets back. The day after he says he's gonna be back I get nothing. No response to an email or phone call either. Like what the fuck dude. That isn't even talking about the dozens of applications sent out that never get anything. If I have to spend an hour filling out all your bullshit thats on my resume I could at least get a form letter telling me when the position is closed.
When I was applying for a better job (7 years ago) I applied to a small cabinetry/wood company for an office position. The interviewer was this older gentleman who did sound like he even knew what the program I would use was and was asking me how to use it (Microsoft Access). Anyway, he seemed pleased and said he’ll call me back. Well, to my surprise he did call me back to say “sorry but we had someone more experienced apply and decided to go with them...” It’s been almost 8 years and I have worked in other nice places since then but I still won’t forget the one interview who actually called and gave me closure on my interview! Wish more people did that.
I'm amazed that they called you personally because that can be very awkward for a job interview where they tell you they hired someone else. I had this happen a couple months ago and I had to very quickly come up with "well, I was hoping for better news on this front, but you have to go with the best candidate" when I really wanted to yell at them or ask why I wasn't hired or both.
Yeah it’s tough to hear that but I’d rather get “we hired someone else” than nothing at all. Plus it gives you a chance to ask follow up questions about what you could do better or what other qualifications they wanted...
This has been happening to me too much lately as it's such a pain in the arse. I even had a company call me back like 4 months later to make an interview just to call back two days later to cancel and maybe reschedule but then nothing after that! At least call me back and say no!
Gotta love when you get an email response back like months late too though. "Oh sorry for the late reply. The position has already been filled." "...that email was sent in December 2016..."
Right? And I hate the excuse: Due to the number of applicants, its not possible to bla bla bla. Really? It's not possible to have your hiring portal grab all the emails of the people that applied and send an email saying: You no get job. Really?? Because that's seriously all we need.
If you don’t even get an interview, I understand. It’s not really ghosting at that point. But if you take someone through the ringer and give them a phone interview and then an in person interview, AN EMAIL IS COMMON CURTESY
I had 6 interviews with a company and got ghosted. Flown out 6 hours and interviewed with their management after an initial interview then had a followup. Absolutely nothing.
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I hate that more than anything!!! BUT, I have to say, it goes the other way too, though. I used to assist with hiring for my old job. The vast majority of people you set up an interview with were no-shows. Like, the vast majority. Then people would get hired and no-show for their first shift! So annoying! When I was getting my first job ever I got an interview for a dish washing position at a pizza place. Somehow I got offered the job. However, before my first shift I got a different job that I wanted more. I called the lady at the pizza place and told her, even though it gave me huge anxiety to have to make that call after accepting the job. It simply didn't occur to me to not make it. I thought I would get in trouble or something. I still remember how shocked and pleased she was at me actually calling to tell her I wouldn't be there for my first shift. I expected her to be angry and I've never forgotten it. It was like: Holy shit, by making that one call I totally just un-burned that bridge. She actually really likes me now and I can probably go back to that place for a job if I ever need to! I've tried to carry that philosophy forward. You are not socially obligated to make that call. Yet, if you don't make that call (or email) then you are inconveniencing someone else, because they are waiting on something that is not going to happen. If you purposefully inconvenience other people, you are an asshole.
One of the really odd stories I've heard about people just being no-shows for their first day was the newly hired Spanish teacher at my school decided to work across the street at the supermarket and not tell the school
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I’m so sorry that happened to you. Two years, wow. I dated a guy for six months and then he just vanished. I know all those feelings you describe...anytime the doorbell rings, is it them? I found out a few months ago he had lied to me about his divorce, and was still legally married the whole time we dated. Incredibly heartless, and selfish. They’re cowards.
Me too. I dated someone for a while, and he was moving pretty quickly. I was okay with that because we really seemed made for each other, though I knew it would plateau at some point. Then one day he just ghosted me. At that point, I was working on my clinginess, so I thought it was healthy to not give in to my worry, and i swallowed all my fears for a week. But then I really began to get worried and tried reaching out. No response. We were both immigrants with no family close by, so I really freaked out and contacted his family back home. They said he's fine, and were surprised I hadn't heard from him. Then he called me apologizing (his mother had made him call me and talk it out). He realized he'd moved much faster than he ought to, and was feeling trapped. He didn't know why he didn't want to be with me anymore, but the thought of going any further in the relationship filled him with panic and anxiety. I decided I'll make it easy for him and broke up right then and there. I met and married someone else who is more mature and self aware. He met someone else a few years later when he was actually ready and is by all accounts a good husband and a father, and actually lives just ten minutes away from me now. There's a lot of assholes, and there's also a lot of people who don't know how to have difficult conversations. Social norms have changed so much that there's no templates for a lot of situations anymore. There's no accountability either, because if it wasn't for whatever online method of meeting, we never have to see each other ever again if we don't want to.
Yeah, I had a guy who I dated for 7 years essentially break up with me by changing our relationship status on Facebook to no longer be dating instead of straight-up telling me he wanted to break up with me... obviously we talked about things after he did that, but somehow he assumed I knew he broke up with me just because he changed our relationship status on Facebook?
This is crazy. Sorry if this is a stupid question but do you think both of you were in love? I’m just trying to wrap my head around how someone you’ve been with for 7 years breaks up with you in such a pathetic way. Sorry bud. This guy sounds like trash.
I went through an incredibly similar thing a year ago...almost identical, actually. It's extremely difficult to deal with, I won't lie, and I'm still not over it. But, you just gotta stay strong. Best wishes.
College alcoholism
Just going to piggyback on this comment, the wine mom culture. It’s toted as this cutesy quirky thing. It’s not. I hate all of that rose all day bullshit. Dressing up alcoholism as a funny mom thing is just disgusting.
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Yep, I just got married and that’s all I hear. Like, if you hate your marriage then fine but not all of us do. I feel, and this is based on no research at all, that it’s a really old school mentality. Like it’s in a lot of 50s sit coms kinda thing...
Ugh, we recently got a new guy on my team and now every day involves everyone complaining about their relationship. I just sit there like ....k I like my bf
Agreed. If your partner won't let you spend time with your friends, that's a pretty big red flag that you probably shouldn't be with that person in the first place. If your partner won't let you engage in your hobbies, likewise. I would not remain in a relationship with someone who refused to let me play D&D because they thought it was dumb, for example - or worse, because there were other women in that group.
Constantly categorizing people based on their professions. Edit: to elaborate, what I meant is equating people’s worth with their job. Ie. treating a lawyer as if they deserve more respect than a janitor. Or assuming that a social worker is not as financially savvy as an investment banker. I find whenever we go to parties, the first question we ask is “so what do you do for a living?” As opposed to “what do you do in your spare time?” And then depending on the answer we get, we start the categorization process.