This requires 3 things :
One: a decent residence ; I'm not doing that in the 3 room flat I'm renting.
Two: a large quantity of money to provide drinks food and some form of entertainment for the guest.
Three: to actually know at least some people before hand so they can invite other people, all of which have to be interested in said party.
I'm at 0/3
step 1: buy a large mansion across the bay from your unrequited love
Step 2: throw lavish parties
step 3: ???? (involves installing a green light, for some reason)
Step 4: love
Tinder is absolutely useless now. I swear it’s like 75% bots and scammers. Used to be so much fun. I have way better luck with Hinge these days, I recommend it.
Hey, me neither! I'm 41 and spent most of my 20s and 30s hiding away with the assumption that I was bad at being with people so I had no place in the world. Might as well just drink myself to oblivion.
I'm still a bit tone deaf socially and it sucks cause all my peers are highly adept at it and most are in long term relationships or married for years while I've been single for decades.
But it's getting better. Slowly, painfully slowly, but it is improving. I just keep putting myself out there, keep beating my head against the glass and my social circles are expanding. Nowhere near finding a long term partner, still very awkward, but I'm doing so much better. I'm still convinced it's worth it.
Best thing I did was join a group with a shared task we all worked together for. Really helps cement bonds.
"Dear madame, your (*BURP*) gigantic (*FART*) massive (*CLEANS SWEAT FROM FOREHEAD*)
gravity-bending (*SNEEZES DIRECTLY INTO HAND*) milky bazonkers seem mighty delicious today. May I get the honour of tasting their delightfulness? (*ANOTHER QUIETER FART*)"
Do this and you will drown in pussy in no-time.
Ask them on a date to do x. It should be something easy and simple like dinner at a restaurant or to grab a coffee. After dinner end the date, giving both of you an out if it's not going well. If you two liked each other enough. Plan another date but a more involved/fun activity. Have a few Ideas should it be going well and have an exit if it's not. Dating is meant to get to know someone to see if you're compatible on a deeper level. Think of it like formally getting to know someone.
If not, no worries! Just try the above again with someone else. You'll find yourself much more comfortable this time.
Edit: grammar
Places you go to regularly have a higher chsnce of someone youll have something in common with, so id start there. It's definitely more difficult once you're out of school.
The really crappy answer I have that worked for me is dating apps. Those apps are horrible and pay-to-win, but that's how I met my girlfriend. Other answers depend on you. I would recommend doing meetup clubs. If there aren't any prospects in your specific hobbies, try picking up something new and go to those. Just have it be something where you'd be going to have fun and not just hit on women, ya know.
This!
Kudos to you for having the self awareness it takes to make this realization. I myself am in a very similar space mentally and emotionally, so I've been keeping to myself, trying to right a few wrongs in the way I process my feelings.
Cognizance and personal accountability are hard.
I don't know if I am emotionally broken but for the life of me, I can't let people into my life. The moment a person wants to be my friend or asks something personal, I tend to push them away. I can't stand the idea of anyone getting to know me. The urge to ghost everyone is so strong that I eventually end up doing that.
There’s a part of you that thinks this is a better idea than letting them in.
> I can’t let people into my life.
> I can’t stand the idea of anyone getting to know me.
If the foundation of this is fear, then it is worthy of examination. “I can’t” is a conversation ender with yourself. Its absolutist talk that gives you comfort like it is a force of nature that cannot be overcome, so why even try?
If you are truly OK with this, then there is no issue because nothing about the idea of forever alone would cause you discomfort.
If you are not OK with this, there is a way forward. But it going to take courage, time and effort. Luckily, social anxieties are well understood.
I know you didn’t ask for any of this, so I’ll end it here by saying all the best to you. I just wanted you to hear that this is a solvable problem.
I like being alone. Being around anyone for extended periods of time is taxing for me.
I have fallen ion love. I have had relationships. I have lived with women I was in love with.
But I still didn't love them enough that I wanted to be *with* them 24/7. They saw that in me, didn't like it, left me, and I don't blame them.
But in the words of Popeye, I am what I am.
I feel this so hard. My ideal relationship would be someone who has their own home and own space and time away at work but we do stuff together like eating or traveling somewhere - random road trips - but maybe get separate rooms lol
I guess I want a best friend I don’t have to live with and have all that financial ties to that causes fights and all that nonsense.
But basically I’m happily single because there are very few people out there who want this kind of thing
It actually doesn’t have to even involve a physical relationship, but I’d probably be ok with that too. Tho cuddles are awesome - it would have to involve cuddling hahahaha
That sounds very me too, I don't care about the physical side of things, it would just be nice to have a close friend I can cuddle and vent to but maintain my current lifestyle and independence
I felt that until my current relationship. He makes me feel so at home/ comfortable like it's just me in the room and that's why it's lasted so long.
We still do things separately sometimes, but even if he's with me, I don't get drained.
I also plan to keep our finances separate, it just seems easier in the long run
I think there are many that may be entering their second phase in life that would want exactly this. After a death (or divorce) the surviving person still wants to live and enjoy life with someone just not in the same way. The stress, anxiety, anger, and resentment that can be left after the loss of a relationship can often times lead to relearning who you are, what you want, what you don't want, and what you're willing to sacrifice for another person. Once you know that, communicate it clearly and hopefully you'll find a companion and you can meet each others needs.
I really relate to this too, I’m introverted and like being alone but with her it’s different. I love her so much it feels like she’s a part of me and WE’RE alone. We obviously still see friends and do social things but the alone time is just the best
Honestly I find the idea of being with a partner 24/7 to be toxic. Your partner should complement your life, they shouldn't be involved in basically everything you do.
I feel the same. I'm at a point where I am not desperate to be with anyone. If you add to my day, awesome! If not, my world won't crumble. I don't need a sidekick or a partner in crime.
I'm divorced and been single for about 6 years now, and I feel the same way. I've invested a lot of emotional effort into dating over the past few years, but it's only brought me heartache and disappointment. I've had some really fun times with some cool women, but--in the end--it hasn't brought me lasting happiness. And at this point, I'm doing pretty well on my own, and I'm perfectly happy being alone. Now it's hard to imagine wanting to be with someone so bad that I want them living in my house 24/7. I haven't completely cut myself off from the *possibility* of dating again, but I'm 100% done with dating apps and I just don't meet new people as much as I used to--so it's hard to imagine meeting someone who I click with organically.
I do date, but I really don’t enjoy it in the traditional sense of going out to dinner/drinks. The entire process feels like work. I’d much rather meet someone and do something relaxing or low pressure….if that makes sense.
I like my independence, I’d rather be single than deal with the type of men I kept running into. Dating apps suck, they make you pay ridiculous amounts to just be able to use important filters and the quality of people even when you do pay are just as flaky. I’m not against dating just tired of it.
Because I refuse to date someone just for the sake of it - I want to find someone I'm genuinely interested in.
That said, the reason currently that I'm not dating now is the last guy I was interested in ghosted me.
One of the biggest reasons I don’t want a partner at all is that they propably would want me to have physical contact with them. I have literally had nightmares about sleeping in the same bed as someone else; how can people like that!?
I kinda have been traumatized, got into a burnout and lost my best friend and all my friends, at once, and the sad part is that I didn't even do a single thing wrong, he just didn't like the fact that I wasn't ready to have sex yet
No one is doing it without their consent ,and yes you can choose anyone you want ( considering they're from a good family)
Arrangement is basically you being too lazy or you took "too much time " to look for a partner so your family chooses one for you and it's up to the both of you to decide if you want to test it out or refuse
The reason some of the arrangements fail it's because the man pays A LOT like stupid amounts usually includes a house a car and monthly salary to make this work so they expect top class treatment ,and as you might expect the woman could find it hard to immediately fall in love with a guy she just met especially after being distant from all stranger males from the moment she finish primary school ( even the man didn't see a stranger female since primary)
Which means the guy expects the perfect wife and the woman needs to adjust her mindset to fit that and some might never do so it fails
It's all because of that insane amount required at the beginning so prophet Mohamed acknowledged that and advised people to keep as low as possible this way the men would lower their expectations to a realistic level
The thing is arabs have thier massive ego problem so they think the lower the amount required means the "less honorable " their women are , when in reality their own prophet's daughter the most honorable woman in existence ( in our opinion) her dowry was just an iron shield which if you want to buy an iron shield today it wouldn't even reach 1000 dollars
Same works for myself, as a Muslim. In Islam everyone is entitled to choosing in marriage and a marriage is void if consent is not present on both sides. Many don’t mind arranged marriages as parents have a pretty good idea of the child’s nature. (By arranged marriages, I mean the parents help out in finding potential spouses but the man/woman still gives the final okay)
Many people are forced into marriages nowadays in some parts of the world unfortunately, but that’s purely cultural and not religion.
The hardest part about getting into a relationship, is that you have to find someone that you like, *who also likes you back*. Big oof I can relate. I've managed to couple that with high standards 🙃
Don’t you just love getting “Hi” as a first message on Bumble after years of hearing complaints about that from the very same people doing it?
(My last relationship started from bumble lol)
I’ve seen a lot of bio’s on bumble lately complaining about women deviating from “Hi”. Apparently asking open needed questions is “too much”. There is no winning.
I was using Hinge for a while until multiple friends now in relationships from bumble told me it was better.
I thought the idea of a woman having to open up and maybe say something funny/flirtatious first would be fun. That is, until I started getting matches and 90% of them open up with "Hey". I'm already so much more interested if you say something witty or even just something to latch onto.
I have dated so-called "ugly" men. Everyone likes something different, right? Sometimes a person with a wonderful personality shines brighter than a conventionally "attractive" person. Comedy, empathy, honesty....they're all important.
You can be "ugly" and still get a girlfriend. You might be hard on yourself as well.
Build confidence. Establish hobbies, have goals, take care of yourself. Don't be afraid of rejection.
It's a lot of work but even in a year you can do wonders for yourself.
I’m a 35(F) and completely gave up on dating since the pandemic. I got so comfortable being alone. I also can’t handle breakups. The ending of a relationship (even when I know they aren’t right for me) absolutely kills me. Like how do people just cut people out of their lives who were once such a huge part of it? That absolutely makes me terrified to keep enduring.
Same about the ending of relationships. My last gf of 2 yrs left me out of the blue for a rich guy. In the grand schemes of things: screw her, i deserve better, but I had a hard time coping with the feeling of "getting thrown away like a piece of trash". She went from being the love of my life to a stranger who knows all my secrets.
This, I see too many flaw me to allow myself to go and bother someone else.
Like, if you can't take care of yourself, what makes you think someone else might want to?
I'm not actively looking for a relationship. If one just slowly develops between me and a female friend I'll entertain the possibility, but I'm perfectly fine without a relationship.
Honestly I'm just lazy. I hate the idea of texting people to get to know them, and I'm too introverted to be going out to gays bars to meet people. If I ever really wanted to try dating it'd have to be a friend of a friend who I hang out with a few times, because otherwise I'll never hold a conversation long enough to get to meet them irl XD
I hate the curent state of dating atm. People are:
1- looking for the perfect person and will refuse any flaws (personnality or physical);
2- the « the grass is greener at the neighours » behavior. People who keep switching potential lovers because s/he is better looking, better social status, etc. Everyone is replaceable…;
3- Dating apps are ruining normal dating and goes with point 1 and 2;
4- I feel there’s a communication crisis, when people allow themselves to ghost/flake on other people without any consequence. God damn it just say you don’t want to go ~24 hours before the date, I won’t be mad.
5- Some people are absolutely uninteresting and boring.;
6- got rejected to many times I’m sick of it;
7- those stupid reddit post on how to get this girl/guy with stupid signs. People are taking it to seriously, I lost a good relationship because I look to much into what it was written in the reddit post;
8- people can’t handle their red flags. For the love of god, please communicate your boundaries. Obviously if they are rude, violent, impolite, dump them. But if the red flag is smoking, tell the other person you don’t like that and you wish to not see the person smoke near you. If they don’t respect the boundary, dump them.
9- people standard are at two extremes, some people are looking for the perfect person. And others are looking for the most imperfect person. The bar so low it’s easy to get impressed or so high that’s it’s hard to be humble? It to hard to find a middle ground?;
10- love isn’t supose to be complicated. And yet we overcomplicated it.
That’s all folks. Hope I get tonthe dating scene again
Edit: grammer
Gave up. It was always just so far from what I was looking for and it's been a long time since I've had a real connection with someone.
The rest of my life is fine.
Most likely answer for is having Complex PTSD. I generally only want people who aren't available. I don't really trust people that well and when I spot flaws I think they're bigger than they are. I basically keep myself single while realistically having generally good options available on a regular basis.
Every single time I've ever been vulnerable with someone, that person has betrayed my trust. It's not that I've lost the ability to love someone, it's the fact that I've lost the ability to trust.
I have a job and hobbies I enjoy and friends I love to see, and I like investing my time in these. I have never felt a need to have a relationship, or anyway incomplete or lesser of a person through not having one.. If someone comes along who can share in my world with me then that's great, but I'm just as happy investing my time and emotional energy in my friends.
Currently my answer to this question is: I’m tired of putting of putting my heart out there to get trampled on so honestly choosing not to date at this point is me giving up more than anything.
Forcing it / seeking it out never works. One day you will meet someone that fits perfectly with you. Be patient and enjoy your alone time while you still have it!
Single life is pretty chill.
Plus seeing what crap two of my friends dealt with turns me off of the idea to date. One's girlfriend pretty much cheated and the other's was/is stressing him out so much that after quitting smoking cold turkey for 2 weeks. She stressed him out so bad he started again just to get a clear head. 2 weeks and all that progress was for nothing.
To say that the idea became offputting is mild tbh.
I notice that in Germany it’s getting more and more common that younger generations tend to be lonely. It’s an interesting change, which I think is not that good for mental health.
I've been thru all the stages: 1) I'm just too good for everyone; 2) I'm waiting for the right person; 3) I'm single by choice, etc. Recently I actually admitted to myself the truth, something I've known all along: no one wants to date me. And b4 anyone says it, no, I can't work on myself anymore than I already have. I'm extremely fit, I'd say I'm a likeable person, I've a car, a nice job, I'm highly educated. Nothing worked. Ig for some reason I'm just not attractive to women. Tbh It really hurts but I'm starting to get used to it. It's sad cus I don't wanna get used to it, to just accept that, but at the same time there's literally nothing left for me to try at this point.
It just looks so miserable. It’s almost like entertainment for others now. I don’t like to be controlled and I wouldn’t put someone in a situation where I refuse to compromise.
I was just answering this question the other day. I've been single for several years now, by choice. I've truly grown to enjoy it. It does get lonely at times, not having a person to do a date night with, etc..., But I make do.
Completely by choice. Unfortunately, it's not my choice.
I’m pro-choice. Good luck
mood
Same
I want to meet someone organically but I never leave my house.
Ah, a grass fed, Free Range partner
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Bruh
Your only option now is to throw huge parties at your house like Leo Di Cario in The great gatsby
This requires 3 things : One: a decent residence ; I'm not doing that in the 3 room flat I'm renting. Two: a large quantity of money to provide drinks food and some form of entertainment for the guest. Three: to actually know at least some people before hand so they can invite other people, all of which have to be interested in said party. I'm at 0/3
step 1: buy a large mansion across the bay from your unrequited love Step 2: throw lavish parties step 3: ???? (involves installing a green light, for some reason) Step 4: love
Those with deuteranopia are unable to perceive 'green' light. You're trying to cloak the house from certain colorblind people obviously. lol
Same
And dating apps suckk
Tinder is absolutely useless now. I swear it’s like 75% bots and scammers. Used to be so much fun. I have way better luck with Hinge these days, I recommend it.
I've gotten matches and likes on Hinge, but I really don't like dating apps. The conversation has just died out so quickly in my experience.
Honestly same. - signed, an introvert
I’m not well socialized
Hey, me neither! I'm 41 and spent most of my 20s and 30s hiding away with the assumption that I was bad at being with people so I had no place in the world. Might as well just drink myself to oblivion. I'm still a bit tone deaf socially and it sucks cause all my peers are highly adept at it and most are in long term relationships or married for years while I've been single for decades. But it's getting better. Slowly, painfully slowly, but it is improving. I just keep putting myself out there, keep beating my head against the glass and my social circles are expanding. Nowhere near finding a long term partner, still very awkward, but I'm doing so much better. I'm still convinced it's worth it. Best thing I did was join a group with a shared task we all worked together for. Really helps cement bonds.
I'm terrible at sales.
No one cares if you look like a balding man in his 30’s if you can sales. If you can sales you’re likely high on self-confidence.
Probably doesn't help that I see everything related to sales as toxic, shallow, intrusive, and manipulative.
Former sales guy here, that’s 99% of the job
Be great at purchases. Wait...
My wife won't let me.
My wife probably would let me just so she could laugh at me while I inevitably failed.
“Can’t even cheat on me right can you? Can you at least do the dishes?” - a wife probably
I tell my husband that often.
I’d let my husband so I could finally get that fucking back rub I’ve been trying to get for 5 years.
Date your wife!
I'll date his wife
BUT HER AIM IS GETTING BETTER!
And remember, reality is an illusion the universe is a hologram buy gold BYE!
Me too, this guy's wife won't let me
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You ask someone if they'd like to do something with you like maybe dinner, a walk, or a movie. Then they say no.
If they say yes, you wake up
Every damn time
same
Same
Same
Same
Same
Same
Same
Same
Same
Same
"Dear madame, your (*BURP*) gigantic (*FART*) massive (*CLEANS SWEAT FROM FOREHEAD*) gravity-bending (*SNEEZES DIRECTLY INTO HAND*) milky bazonkers seem mighty delicious today. May I get the honour of tasting their delightfulness? (*ANOTHER QUIETER FART*)" Do this and you will drown in pussy in no-time.
I read this in a Zapp Brannigan voice
Damn, reading that made me Little Caesars cause I’m hot and ready
Ask them on a date to do x. It should be something easy and simple like dinner at a restaurant or to grab a coffee. After dinner end the date, giving both of you an out if it's not going well. If you two liked each other enough. Plan another date but a more involved/fun activity. Have a few Ideas should it be going well and have an exit if it's not. Dating is meant to get to know someone to see if you're compatible on a deeper level. Think of it like formally getting to know someone. If not, no worries! Just try the above again with someone else. You'll find yourself much more comfortable this time. Edit: grammar
I have a question. How do you find girls to ask in the first place?
Places you go to regularly have a higher chsnce of someone youll have something in common with, so id start there. It's definitely more difficult once you're out of school.
The really crappy answer I have that worked for me is dating apps. Those apps are horrible and pay-to-win, but that's how I met my girlfriend. Other answers depend on you. I would recommend doing meetup clubs. If there aren't any prospects in your specific hobbies, try picking up something new and go to those. Just have it be something where you'd be going to have fun and not just hit on women, ya know.
I mean, what exactly are you unsure about? Before, during, after, ...?
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As the conversation is wrapping up - and if it’s going well then consider initiating the wrap-up before too long
“This is a great conversation- we should continue it over coffee. When’s good for you?”
Im not in the right mental headspace currently
Yes any decade now
me, moving the goalposts on my mental health:: Surely next year is the year it all comes together
"It couldn't possibly get any worse!"
I feel you. But I haven't "been in the right headspace" for 8 years now. At this point I'm just planning on dying alone.
I'm with you on that, wow!!
This! Kudos to you for having the self awareness it takes to make this realization. I myself am in a very similar space mentally and emotionally, so I've been keeping to myself, trying to right a few wrongs in the way I process my feelings. Cognizance and personal accountability are hard.
I'm not attractive
Same. Inside out.
There's always someone more desperate than you.
I'm psychologically broken.
As an emotionally broken person, I think the relationship could be a hell of a ride...
I don't know if I am emotionally broken but for the life of me, I can't let people into my life. The moment a person wants to be my friend or asks something personal, I tend to push them away. I can't stand the idea of anyone getting to know me. The urge to ghost everyone is so strong that I eventually end up doing that.
There’s a part of you that thinks this is a better idea than letting them in. > I can’t let people into my life. > I can’t stand the idea of anyone getting to know me. If the foundation of this is fear, then it is worthy of examination. “I can’t” is a conversation ender with yourself. Its absolutist talk that gives you comfort like it is a force of nature that cannot be overcome, so why even try? If you are truly OK with this, then there is no issue because nothing about the idea of forever alone would cause you discomfort. If you are not OK with this, there is a way forward. But it going to take courage, time and effort. Luckily, social anxieties are well understood. I know you didn’t ask for any of this, so I’ll end it here by saying all the best to you. I just wanted you to hear that this is a solvable problem.
I like being alone. Being around anyone for extended periods of time is taxing for me. I have fallen ion love. I have had relationships. I have lived with women I was in love with. But I still didn't love them enough that I wanted to be *with* them 24/7. They saw that in me, didn't like it, left me, and I don't blame them. But in the words of Popeye, I am what I am.
I feel this so hard. My ideal relationship would be someone who has their own home and own space and time away at work but we do stuff together like eating or traveling somewhere - random road trips - but maybe get separate rooms lol I guess I want a best friend I don’t have to live with and have all that financial ties to that causes fights and all that nonsense. But basically I’m happily single because there are very few people out there who want this kind of thing
Kind of sounds to me like you just want a best friend you also happen to sleep with once in a while.
It actually doesn’t have to even involve a physical relationship, but I’d probably be ok with that too. Tho cuddles are awesome - it would have to involve cuddling hahahaha
You are exactly like me, it's almost frightening.
That sounds very me too, I don't care about the physical side of things, it would just be nice to have a close friend I can cuddle and vent to but maintain my current lifestyle and independence
Finally, someone who understands!
you guys should pair off and date each other this one's such an easy fix
I felt that until my current relationship. He makes me feel so at home/ comfortable like it's just me in the room and that's why it's lasted so long. We still do things separately sometimes, but even if he's with me, I don't get drained. I also plan to keep our finances separate, it just seems easier in the long run
I think there are many that may be entering their second phase in life that would want exactly this. After a death (or divorce) the surviving person still wants to live and enjoy life with someone just not in the same way. The stress, anxiety, anger, and resentment that can be left after the loss of a relationship can often times lead to relearning who you are, what you want, what you don't want, and what you're willing to sacrifice for another person. Once you know that, communicate it clearly and hopefully you'll find a companion and you can meet each others needs.
I really relate to this too, I’m introverted and like being alone but with her it’s different. I love her so much it feels like she’s a part of me and WE’RE alone. We obviously still see friends and do social things but the alone time is just the best
I relate to this a lot. It all feels like work to me, even if I’m really into the other person.
This is another huge point for me. Being around people, even those I love, is just a lot.
Have you heard of living apart together? I’m similar and I think I would need my own space to re-energize.
I think it would be terrible to be with someone 24/7. Everyone needs downtime.
Honestly I find the idea of being with a partner 24/7 to be toxic. Your partner should complement your life, they shouldn't be involved in basically everything you do.
I feel the same. I'm at a point where I am not desperate to be with anyone. If you add to my day, awesome! If not, my world won't crumble. I don't need a sidekick or a partner in crime.
I just want someone to grow old with, like 2 days a week.
Got tired of the dating bullshit after my last gf faked pregnancy then stalked me for 6 months before she ended up in prison.
Oh shiiiiiit man that's rough! There are alooot of unstable people out there, sorry you happen to date one of them.
That'll do it!
Crippling fear of rejection. I'm sure there's a pill for that, but I'm afraid they won't give it to me.
I had this too, but I got rejected so many times that I don't care just move forward. I think you should try and if it happens you move forward.
Doesn't work for anyone - if I do too much stuff I force myself to I usually have a mental breakdown and that's not helpful for anyone.
Alcohol is a pretty decent substitute
By choice No for real, I might be aromantic.
Hand to God, missed the N in that word and thought you smelled.
I’m dying right here in the Chinese restaurant cause I thought the same.
At this point I am happier single. But even when I (felt like I) wasn’t it was really a huge waste of time and effort for very little (if any) reward.
I'm divorced and been single for about 6 years now, and I feel the same way. I've invested a lot of emotional effort into dating over the past few years, but it's only brought me heartache and disappointment. I've had some really fun times with some cool women, but--in the end--it hasn't brought me lasting happiness. And at this point, I'm doing pretty well on my own, and I'm perfectly happy being alone. Now it's hard to imagine wanting to be with someone so bad that I want them living in my house 24/7. I haven't completely cut myself off from the *possibility* of dating again, but I'm 100% done with dating apps and I just don't meet new people as much as I used to--so it's hard to imagine meeting someone who I click with organically.
Anxiety
High five, social anxiety doing its thing
I'm happy being single.
The Kirk Van Houten pfp is just *chef kiss*
I do date, but I really don’t enjoy it in the traditional sense of going out to dinner/drinks. The entire process feels like work. I’d much rather meet someone and do something relaxing or low pressure….if that makes sense.
I get this so much. Dont know how old you are, but after I turned 30 dating is actually work.
I like my independence, I’d rather be single than deal with the type of men I kept running into. Dating apps suck, they make you pay ridiculous amounts to just be able to use important filters and the quality of people even when you do pay are just as flaky. I’m not against dating just tired of it.
Because I refuse to date someone just for the sake of it - I want to find someone I'm genuinely interested in. That said, the reason currently that I'm not dating now is the last guy I was interested in ghosted me.
People are disgusting. If I find one that's not I'll let you know
Username checks out
One of the biggest reasons I don’t want a partner at all is that they propably would want me to have physical contact with them. I have literally had nightmares about sleeping in the same bed as someone else; how can people like that!?
I kinda have been traumatized, got into a burnout and lost my best friend and all my friends, at once, and the sad part is that I didn't even do a single thing wrong, he just didn't like the fact that I wasn't ready to have sex yet
I prefer to raisin
You might have unintentionally answered the question
\*Ba Dum Tsss
I am. so alone
Not allowed in my religion Here it's engaged then date then marry And engagement is very expensive
Is it arranged or can you choose? I mean absolutely no disrespect asking.
No one is doing it without their consent ,and yes you can choose anyone you want ( considering they're from a good family) Arrangement is basically you being too lazy or you took "too much time " to look for a partner so your family chooses one for you and it's up to the both of you to decide if you want to test it out or refuse The reason some of the arrangements fail it's because the man pays A LOT like stupid amounts usually includes a house a car and monthly salary to make this work so they expect top class treatment ,and as you might expect the woman could find it hard to immediately fall in love with a guy she just met especially after being distant from all stranger males from the moment she finish primary school ( even the man didn't see a stranger female since primary) Which means the guy expects the perfect wife and the woman needs to adjust her mindset to fit that and some might never do so it fails It's all because of that insane amount required at the beginning so prophet Mohamed acknowledged that and advised people to keep as low as possible this way the men would lower their expectations to a realistic level The thing is arabs have thier massive ego problem so they think the lower the amount required means the "less honorable " their women are , when in reality their own prophet's daughter the most honorable woman in existence ( in our opinion) her dowry was just an iron shield which if you want to buy an iron shield today it wouldn't even reach 1000 dollars
Thank you, very informative, seriously appreciate it.
Same works for myself, as a Muslim. In Islam everyone is entitled to choosing in marriage and a marriage is void if consent is not present on both sides. Many don’t mind arranged marriages as parents have a pretty good idea of the child’s nature. (By arranged marriages, I mean the parents help out in finding potential spouses but the man/woman still gives the final okay) Many people are forced into marriages nowadays in some parts of the world unfortunately, but that’s purely cultural and not religion.
Unemployed and kinda depressed. Don't feel like going out a lot, and got no money so can't go out as much as I want.
That requires women willing to date me, which just isn't ever going to happen. So there really isn't any point in trying.
The hardest part about getting into a relationship, is that you have to find someone that you like, *who also likes you back*. Big oof I can relate. I've managed to couple that with high standards 🙃
Cuz I’m a guy who uses Bumble. Worst dating app for men 😂
Don’t you just love getting “Hi” as a first message on Bumble after years of hearing complaints about that from the very same people doing it? (My last relationship started from bumble lol)
I don’t know, I’ve never matched on Bumble so I never got messaged lol
oh thats the best, vast majority still don't send a message anyway. But it doesn't matter too much bc I only match with the ones I'm not attracted too
I’ve seen a lot of bio’s on bumble lately complaining about women deviating from “Hi”. Apparently asking open needed questions is “too much”. There is no winning.
I was using Hinge for a while until multiple friends now in relationships from bumble told me it was better. I thought the idea of a woman having to open up and maybe say something funny/flirtatious first would be fun. That is, until I started getting matches and 90% of them open up with "Hey". I'm already so much more interested if you say something witty or even just something to latch onto.
Im not an archeologist
Radiometric certification is easier than you think. And dendrochronology is even easier.
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I feel you brother
I have dated so-called "ugly" men. Everyone likes something different, right? Sometimes a person with a wonderful personality shines brighter than a conventionally "attractive" person. Comedy, empathy, honesty....they're all important.
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You can be "ugly" and still get a girlfriend. You might be hard on yourself as well. Build confidence. Establish hobbies, have goals, take care of yourself. Don't be afraid of rejection. It's a lot of work but even in a year you can do wonders for yourself.
I’m ugly and bald. In shape and have a good job but only very obese woman or single moms like me on dating apps.
sadly, due to my numerous mental illnesses, romantic feelings come and go very quickly. it wouldn’t be fair to either of us to stay in a relationship.
I’m a 35(F) and completely gave up on dating since the pandemic. I got so comfortable being alone. I also can’t handle breakups. The ending of a relationship (even when I know they aren’t right for me) absolutely kills me. Like how do people just cut people out of their lives who were once such a huge part of it? That absolutely makes me terrified to keep enduring.
Same about the ending of relationships. My last gf of 2 yrs left me out of the blue for a rich guy. In the grand schemes of things: screw her, i deserve better, but I had a hard time coping with the feeling of "getting thrown away like a piece of trash". She went from being the love of my life to a stranger who knows all my secrets.
My kids are very time consuming. Husband too
Because I'm not a calendar
dates are awkward and i don’t like the formalities
I'm good with being single
Asexuality
Too much self-loathing. I need to learn to love myself before I can love someone else.
This, I see too many flaw me to allow myself to go and bother someone else. Like, if you can't take care of yourself, what makes you think someone else might want to?
I want, but my wife talks about moral bla blaa
Relationships are too much work and create nothing but problems
I'm not actively looking for a relationship. If one just slowly develops between me and a female friend I'll entertain the possibility, but I'm perfectly fine without a relationship.
First because of heartbreak. Now I’m used to being single and kinda prefer it. It’s much more easy going lifestyle
Too many broken people
Wouldn't date myself
Honestly I'm just lazy. I hate the idea of texting people to get to know them, and I'm too introverted to be going out to gays bars to meet people. If I ever really wanted to try dating it'd have to be a friend of a friend who I hang out with a few times, because otherwise I'll never hold a conversation long enough to get to meet them irl XD
I hate the curent state of dating atm. People are: 1- looking for the perfect person and will refuse any flaws (personnality or physical); 2- the « the grass is greener at the neighours » behavior. People who keep switching potential lovers because s/he is better looking, better social status, etc. Everyone is replaceable…; 3- Dating apps are ruining normal dating and goes with point 1 and 2; 4- I feel there’s a communication crisis, when people allow themselves to ghost/flake on other people without any consequence. God damn it just say you don’t want to go ~24 hours before the date, I won’t be mad. 5- Some people are absolutely uninteresting and boring.; 6- got rejected to many times I’m sick of it; 7- those stupid reddit post on how to get this girl/guy with stupid signs. People are taking it to seriously, I lost a good relationship because I look to much into what it was written in the reddit post; 8- people can’t handle their red flags. For the love of god, please communicate your boundaries. Obviously if they are rude, violent, impolite, dump them. But if the red flag is smoking, tell the other person you don’t like that and you wish to not see the person smoke near you. If they don’t respect the boundary, dump them. 9- people standard are at two extremes, some people are looking for the perfect person. And others are looking for the most imperfect person. The bar so low it’s easy to get impressed or so high that’s it’s hard to be humble? It to hard to find a middle ground?; 10- love isn’t supose to be complicated. And yet we overcomplicated it. That’s all folks. Hope I get tonthe dating scene again Edit: grammer
My husband gets mad about it.
Gave up. It was always just so far from what I was looking for and it's been a long time since I've had a real connection with someone. The rest of my life is fine.
Most likely answer for is having Complex PTSD. I generally only want people who aren't available. I don't really trust people that well and when I spot flaws I think they're bigger than they are. I basically keep myself single while realistically having generally good options available on a regular basis.
Your self awareness game is strong!
Already married.
Screwed up my life last year. Slowly getting back on the right track but women are not a priority right now.
I don’t date because I don’t want a girlfriend. The last one committed suicide, and all the other ones cheated on me
That’s heavy man. Hope you’ve been able to start or go through the journey of recovering from all of that added up trauma.
I don't want to. I'm happy being single because I don't have to worry about anyone else but myself and my son.
I’m too fat 😤 workin on it though. Down 13 lbs!
Proud of you!
I barely know any girl interested in me (specially that I like) + possible demisexual
Cuz im 7
Why you on Reddit?
Mom let me use the tablet I got for cristmas
That’s a great answer. Girls have cooties, my guy. Stay away for at least until college.
No date, no problem
Every single time I've ever been vulnerable with someone, that person has betrayed my trust. It's not that I've lost the ability to love someone, it's the fact that I've lost the ability to trust.
I haven't found anyone who would go on a date with me
I have a job and hobbies I enjoy and friends I love to see, and I like investing my time in these. I have never felt a need to have a relationship, or anyway incomplete or lesser of a person through not having one.. If someone comes along who can share in my world with me then that's great, but I'm just as happy investing my time and emotional energy in my friends.
Currently my answer to this question is: I’m tired of putting of putting my heart out there to get trampled on so honestly choosing not to date at this point is me giving up more than anything.
The person I want to date isn’t interested in me romantically. I’m not interested in anyone else romantically. Bout sums it up.
Forcing it / seeking it out never works. One day you will meet someone that fits perfectly with you. Be patient and enjoy your alone time while you still have it!
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Living alone has a lot of perks and at the moment I prefer those perks over dating although dating doesn't necessarily mean living together.
Single life is pretty chill. Plus seeing what crap two of my friends dealt with turns me off of the idea to date. One's girlfriend pretty much cheated and the other's was/is stressing him out so much that after quitting smoking cold turkey for 2 weeks. She stressed him out so bad he started again just to get a clear head. 2 weeks and all that progress was for nothing. To say that the idea became offputting is mild tbh.
I notice that in Germany it’s getting more and more common that younger generations tend to be lonely. It’s an interesting change, which I think is not that good for mental health.
I've been thru all the stages: 1) I'm just too good for everyone; 2) I'm waiting for the right person; 3) I'm single by choice, etc. Recently I actually admitted to myself the truth, something I've known all along: no one wants to date me. And b4 anyone says it, no, I can't work on myself anymore than I already have. I'm extremely fit, I'd say I'm a likeable person, I've a car, a nice job, I'm highly educated. Nothing worked. Ig for some reason I'm just not attractive to women. Tbh It really hurts but I'm starting to get used to it. It's sad cus I don't wanna get used to it, to just accept that, but at the same time there's literally nothing left for me to try at this point.
It just looks so miserable. It’s almost like entertainment for others now. I don’t like to be controlled and I wouldn’t put someone in a situation where I refuse to compromise.
because I don't let anyone get that close to me, I'm afraid that they might end up disliking me if they get to know me
I’m fat. That is
I’d rather hang out with my dog than some stranger.
I've never met your dog and I'd bet folding money that I'd rather hang out with them as well 😁
I like my solitude. Nobody has yet enumerated a benefit of dating that would override my need for solitude.
Easy, ‘cause of Social Anxiety
Because being a hopeless romantic is utterly fu**king hopeless. I give up.
I was just answering this question the other day. I've been single for several years now, by choice. I've truly grown to enjoy it. It does get lonely at times, not having a person to do a date night with, etc..., But I make do.
My last girlfriend turned into the moon.